3:20 first problem of religion, it seldom is a choice but an indoctrination. A pride-stamp like pride for a nation that has nothing to do with you but with the people who formed you as a child. Children are mentally soft and you can bring them up to believe anything.
Even invisible sky daddies that love you make sense.
That atheist guy was a douche. If someone says "God bless you", when I sneeze, I thank them and go my way, not turn the conversation into a retarded religious debate. As much as I'd hate to admit it, I have to agree with Dane on this one.
Im an atheist and i dont find this funny not because its offensive, its just generally not funny. I mean dane thinks this guy is weird, when he himself was raised to kneel down every sunday infront of an ancient instrument of torture and consume symbols of blood and flesh.
I'm an atheist.. But the theory with the tree has me laughing. There's just nothing after dead. (At least that's what I believe) I think that Christians have wonderful faith, I just believe in science. Dane cook makes it funny for everyone.
Everybody gets butt hurt, its a comedian stand up. Sit down. Relax. And enjoy the show just because he don't believe what you believe makes him a bad comedian. Coming from a non religious person.
Okay, I'm going to be a combo breaker here. I (an Atheist) am offended. The joke is completely lost since the Atheist in the joke is talking about the circle of biological matter while Dane Cook interpret it as if he is talking about some kinf of soul/spirit that will resurrect into a tree. What this joke is really about: A Christian denying science and that is what truly pisses me off.
Cook is popular because girls are just attracted to his over-confidence. They see how confident he is when he talks and they laugh like he is flirting with them. If some of you girls actually read these jokes or had an actual funny comedian act them out, you wouldnt even smile. Confidence is fine, but it doesnt make you good at what you do...it just makes you appear that way. Plus I am positive Cook's over confidence and energy comes from amphetamine abuse or being in a manic state
You are supposed to be really good at something...then you become confident about it. Dane Cook sucks at comedy, but is somehow confident about it....girls see his body motions, facial expressions, and false confidence and just ASSUME that he must be funny if he behaves this way. The same thing applies to hiphop/rap people. They just talk and talk and talk when they are completely stupid. I think they are so dumb they dont realise how stupid they sound, which makes them feel false confidence
Not all girls are like this. Just usually the younger ones who havn't learned what real comedy is. Their hormones are all crazy and rely on pure instinct to find a mate. Confidence is a trait that they seek...and Dane Cook has this...but cook's confidence is fake. It is either due to stimulant abuse, Bipolarity, psycosis, or a combination of his good looks and retardity. There are some older girls that fine him funny, but they are usually blonde, retarded, and/or date black guys.
My friend used to never get the girls. He developed schizophrenia at 20. After a year in a psych ward, he got better. After a couple months he became extremely crazy and manic again....he acted like how Dane Cook acts. All the girls were attracted to him because he confident but he was just psycotic. He was actually funny before he lost his mind but no girls liked him. He comes back with his brain destroyed, talking nonsense in his psychosis while appearing confident..and girls like him
So Dane Cook is only popular because he appears confident. Only little girls find him funny, but they dont actually listen to what he says. They just thinks he is good looking and it looks like he thinks he is funny.
Oh he becomes a tree and a book that has oppressed people for centurys gets put on it................ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAhaHAHAHAAHAA FUCKING HALLERIOUJGCBKM HJGTJMUJKRHFCXUJHJRF AHAHAHAHAHA
Dear top comments, I am a Christian and I don't get offended by Christian jokes. But enjoy all your thumbs up putting people into stereotypes anyways.
Atheists come across as people who pat themselves on the back for not believing in whatever science cannot prove. They're also condescending pricks with no moral compass. :)
@laszl045 If you're being serious, why don't you believe in Zeus? He can't be proved by science and I've seen way more condescending prick theists than atheists in my lifetime. The level of intolerance by some theists is ridiculous. And as for the no moral compass, if you believe morality comes from God, why don't believe in everything in the Bible? You're picking and choosing, clearly you have a better moral compass than God. If you're trolling, well done.
@laszl045 Haha Really? Speak of pricks with no moral compass
How do u explan Child Molestation in Christian chuch? Or HOW exactly did Joseph's wife got pregnant? you should actually pat Joseph on the back for having a bastard and a cheating slut wife lol
This guy isn't funny. He takes five minutes just to get to the fucking punchline of a joke. Mitch Hedgeberg would have shortened all this crap down to two or three lines and the audience would have been roaring with laughter at the end.
I don't give a shit if he's bagging out athiests. I wasn't insulted/offended or any of that shit. I can take a joke. It's just giving the impression that Athiests believe in reincarnation is pretty fucking ignorant. Reincarnation is a Buddhist/Hindu concept, and is thus a theist one. Yeah, comedy doesn't have to be politically correct, but he's giving his moronic audience the wrong impression about people who don't share their viewpoints. Please, try to attack me someone, Just try.
I had to repeat this here and as an athiest I am being strictly non-personal but; Tosh and Dane Cook are absolutely the cripplingly worst comedians I've ever had the displeasure of listening to
... Everyone is being really hateful about this... He's not making fun of Atheists. He's making fun of how arrogant that asshole that sneezed on him was.
I'm sure Dane Cook doesn't have a personal vendetta against Atheists.
It's a joke guys, about an arrogant atheist who just sneezed on him. It would have been just as funny the other way around. He didn't hate the guy cause he was an atheist he hated him cause he was a dickhead.
And here I was thinking there was a rule in christianity about not wishing thy neighbour anything evil, Oh well, enjoy not arriving at that airport Dane.
@lukyganesh You're a racist, an unjustified bigot, you have minute, ignorant and insignificant viewpoint of the world around you. and you're a fucking idiot, don't even think for a second that you aren't. No matter what you do in life, I hope you remember that.
Funny how when it's the atheist who are being cussed , they start crying. Seriously, it's a joke and you got to admit its funny, and you say Christians can't take this shit.
Which Bible, Dane? The one that tells me that god might ask me to kill my kid and I'd better fucking do it? The one that tells me that it's okay for me to beat the shit out of my slaves, so long as they recover from the beatings in a couple of days and get back to slaving? The one that tells me that I cannot eat meat on Fridays? The one whose commandments give women the same classification as cattle (i.e. the property of a man)?
At the same time, I know that people view the Bible as the "word of god", and that stories like Abraham being told to kill Isaac are absolutely true. And that scares me.
@1moreastronaut You know that this WAS supposed to be a joke and that NO Christians agree with those certain statements in the bible? And I haven't seen anything in the bible that has to do with it being okay to beating slaves.
@XxCyanAndWaterxX I'm well aware that it was SUPPOSED to be a joke. And if NO Christians agree with those passages of the Bible, then they are not Christians. You either accept the Bible as the infallable, unaltered word of God or you are a heathen.
"When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property." (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
@XxCyanAndWaterxX and before you try to counter with "that's Old Testament nonsense", here's a quote from Jesus Christ himself:
The servant will be severely punished, for though he knew his duty, he refused to do it. "But people who are not aware that they are doing wrong will be punished only lightly. Much is required from those to whom much is given, and much more is required from those to whom much more is given." (Luke 12:47-48 NLT)
Making fun of Athiests: hurr durr i r christian, its perfectly fine for me to go "LOL WHEN U DIE = NOTHING"
Making fun of Christians (suddenly its personal):
athiest goes up on stage: "FUCK YOU ALL, GOD WILL BURN YOU FOREVER, SOMETHING ABOUYT HOMOSEXUALS AND ABORTION, "and god said something that is contradicted somewhere else" -Leviticus 1337
Hypocrite assholes.
Also, breaking down and becoming a fertilizer of a tree is more likely than meeting people at a "soul airport".
I wondered who would find this funny and actually spend money to go see this douchebag. Then I noticed the applause at 3:22 when he just mentions he is catholic and I realised: "Oh,THOSE people."
George Carlin. All that needs to be said. If this is what comedy is now, and I'm supposed to laugh at this, I guess I'm a sulking depressed pessimist. Sad.
@Hoyuko It's a joke ffs. And why do u even ask, do u really have to ask if you should judge an entire group of people, that concists of 2 billion people, for what one guy, a comedian, jokes about? really?
Wow. Dane Cook didnt even understand the guys argument and preceded to make a "joke" about his story. When animals die their bodies break down. Its the same with all life, trees etc. It all becomes fertilizer hence the guys gonna become a tree, become grass, become flowers. And then whenever an animal eats that grass he'll become that animal. And by that i mean only a very small part of him.
He meant it in the same way as you eat a steak for body fuel
When you die....well something happens..I don't know what happens...but SOMETHING happens. Most people don't actually know whats going to happen. the only people that know are dead people and we can't really ask them.
I think the problem with Dane Cook is that although his stories and punchlines are actually good comedy stuff, he tends to repeat lines as if he wanted to make sure even the dumbest guy in the crowd gets it. And I don't like his exaggerated gestures but then again that's just me.
And concerning those religious discussions that pop up every time god is mentioned in a video: settle down. Believe what you want to believe but be tolerant. No need to make a fuss about it. Goes to the atheists, too
hahah all the Butthurt atheists in the comments make me lawl. It was a fucking comedy bit relax folks. On a RELATED note I thought it was pretty funny. Great job sir cook!!
What's interesting is that the whole "coming back as a tree" things makes a lot more sense, even with Dane trying to spin it the other way. I wonder if he noticed that when he watched himself on video...
What I wonder is the reaction of some people saying that "the atheist" do or don't believe something... there's no standardised atheist belief, it just means you don't believe in a higher deity(be it god gods or a spaghetti monster(look it up its a religion)) so this unmannered guy may well believe he will reincarnate as a tree.
PS: nothing against people who do believe in what ever except those who trouble others with it:)
What an ignorant douche. "LOL I THINK ATHEISTS SHOULD GET TURNED INTO BIBLES!!!" Not all atheists are like that guy... hopefully not all catholics are like Dane Cook.
Yeah atheist totally believe they'll become trees and christian's totally aren't hypocritical ignorant arseholes. Came here because of American Dad and thankfully America is a diverse place and isn't completely full of these hateful christians.
@Detth2you yea well i think he's pretty fucking hilarious myself. and i'm sorry to say this but you seem to have a pretty stupid sense of humor yourself if the word "hilarious" is that funny to you.
@Detth2you don't be an idiot... i knew exactly what your "joke" was. obviously you don't understand my sarcasm. you have the IQ of a piece of wood if you can't understand something so obvious.
3:20 first problem of religion, it seldom is a choice but an indoctrination. A pride-stamp like pride for a nation that has nothing to do with you but with the people who formed you as a child. Children are mentally soft and you can bring them up to believe anything.
Even invisible sky daddies that love you make sense.
Razzfazz87 3 hours ago
Why're people laughing there? Wow.
PritamJaykar 6 hours ago
this is probably the worst comedian i have ever come across
mrsplodge 7 hours ago
@mrsplodge it took him 50 seconds to stop elaborating on how this guy sneezed, which REALLY isn't funny enough material to do so with
mrsplodge 7 hours ago
That atheist guy was a douche. If someone says "God bless you", when I sneeze, I thank them and go my way, not turn the conversation into a retarded religious debate. As much as I'd hate to admit it, I have to agree with Dane on this one.
alzircon 8 hours ago
That guy was Dovahkiin
Dragonshout: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MrNordicWarrior123 10 hours ago
I clicked on this and literally sneezed at soon as I did. No joke.
TheVampireKnightess 16 hours ago
I AM AN ATHEIST.
I FIND THIS SHIT HILARIOUS
Dane Cook was not making fun of this man for being an atheist. He was making fun of him for being a complete and utter douchebag.
ultispy0 22 hours ago 2
what's the name of this show, I saw a part of it on tv but I want to see it completely
JiggydyJay 22 hours ago
Belief in religion is for those who are scared of the dark.
0besePlatypus 23 hours ago
people laughed at him when e said he wanted to become a comedian.
well no-one's laughing anymore now.
Trisscarro 1 day ago
As a Christian, I could relate to dane cook and laughed.
As an Atheist, I still found this funny 'cos that guy represents like 93% of atheists.. or this is just too funny.
englishsmoshfan 1 day ago
what the fuck did i just watch
KakashiTheWorrier 1 day ago
An actual atheist would say, "Nothing, dumb ass." And he would be correct.
Demonboi9 2 days ago 2
i fucking hate that fag.
MrHoodey 2 days ago
i believe in god and there's nothing you can do about it
Lemileant 2 days ago
My grandmother funeral was yesterday. Enjoyed it quite a bit more then this
hopemats 2 days ago 4
I googled snarky;
snark·y/ˈsnärkē/
Adjective:
(of a person, words, or a mood) Critical; cutting; testy.
Littlemandude11 2 days ago
All i have to say, if you dont like dane cook, dont watch the video. Simple as that.
9842JB 2 days ago
This guy is a moron. Why am I watching this?
Fridaynightskillme 3 days ago 4
Did all the people in the crowd just wander in stoned?
wazzupwar 3 days ago
Europe hear. If this is a good comedian in America, ur fucked.
ThisIsAlbino 3 days ago
couldn't even watch all of it, terrible.
Cairnsification 3 days ago
lolathieists
Chonson 3 days ago
To be honest, Your body decomposing and turning into a tree makes more sense than you dying and going to fairyland and meeting god.
Feberizo1 3 days ago
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Feberizo1 3 days ago
How has Lee Evans not broken America when guys like this sell out stadiums?
MrNickAlmighty 3 days ago
WHAT A DOUCHEBAG
thedirtypidgeon 4 days ago
Dane Cook is a cunt.
grsims20 5 days ago
Im an atheist and i dont find this funny not because its offensive, its just generally not funny. I mean dane thinks this guy is weird, when he himself was raised to kneel down every sunday infront of an ancient instrument of torture and consume symbols of blood and flesh.
lawrenceguitars 5 days ago
@lawrenceguitars They are not symbols in the Catholic Church; we truly believe they are the body and blood of Jesus.
texansmartie 5 days ago
767,088 are catholics
SomegirlnamedSara407 5 days ago
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SomegirlnamedSara407 5 days ago
Is he Canadian?
LaeBehleFere 5 days ago
Who else googled snarky?
010soundsystem 5 days ago
I'm an atheist.. But the theory with the tree has me laughing. There's just nothing after dead. (At least that's what I believe) I think that Christians have wonderful faith, I just believe in science. Dane cook makes it funny for everyone.
TheBottleofChampagne 6 days ago
Everybody gets butt hurt, its a comedian stand up. Sit down. Relax. And enjoy the show just because he don't believe what you believe makes him a bad comedian. Coming from a non religious person.
cangtam 6 days ago
Okay, I'm going to be a combo breaker here. I (an Atheist) am offended. The joke is completely lost since the Atheist in the joke is talking about the circle of biological matter while Dane Cook interpret it as if he is talking about some kinf of soul/spirit that will resurrect into a tree. What this joke is really about: A Christian denying science and that is what truly pisses me off.
Still consider the ending funny though.
salmjak 6 days ago
Americans have the worst stand up comedians. Apart from Reginald D. Hunter.
KamikazeKerr 6 days ago
@KamikazeKerr You're either a Canadian maggot or a worthless Limey
slickrickyy69 5 days ago
Lol one top commenter is Christian, and the other is an Atheist XD
XweetokFoxx 1 week ago
Cook is popular because girls are just attracted to his over-confidence. They see how confident he is when he talks and they laugh like he is flirting with them. If some of you girls actually read these jokes or had an actual funny comedian act them out, you wouldnt even smile. Confidence is fine, but it doesnt make you good at what you do...it just makes you appear that way. Plus I am positive Cook's over confidence and energy comes from amphetamine abuse or being in a manic state
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
You are supposed to be really good at something...then you become confident about it. Dane Cook sucks at comedy, but is somehow confident about it....girls see his body motions, facial expressions, and false confidence and just ASSUME that he must be funny if he behaves this way. The same thing applies to hiphop/rap people. They just talk and talk and talk when they are completely stupid. I think they are so dumb they dont realise how stupid they sound, which makes them feel false confidence
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
Not all girls are like this. Just usually the younger ones who havn't learned what real comedy is. Their hormones are all crazy and rely on pure instinct to find a mate. Confidence is a trait that they seek...and Dane Cook has this...but cook's confidence is fake. It is either due to stimulant abuse, Bipolarity, psycosis, or a combination of his good looks and retardity. There are some older girls that fine him funny, but they are usually blonde, retarded, and/or date black guys.
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
My friend used to never get the girls. He developed schizophrenia at 20. After a year in a psych ward, he got better. After a couple months he became extremely crazy and manic again....he acted like how Dane Cook acts. All the girls were attracted to him because he confident but he was just psycotic. He was actually funny before he lost his mind but no girls liked him. He comes back with his brain destroyed, talking nonsense in his psychosis while appearing confident..and girls like him
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
So Dane Cook is only popular because he appears confident. Only little girls find him funny, but they dont actually listen to what he says. They just thinks he is good looking and it looks like he thinks he is funny.
JeffreyJenness 1 week ago
I (Atheist) am not offended at all but still disliked the vid. Dane Cook sucks.seriously watching him is as funny as watching grass growing.
EisEisBaby 1 week ago
If there was a God, Dane Cook wouldn't be allowed to do stand up.
MyFantazmagazzle 1 week ago 2
Only in America ...
chabi3000 1 week ago 11
I hate Dane Cook and laughed my ass of at this
hahafunnyhahavidz 1 week ago
Oh he becomes a tree and a book that has oppressed people for centurys gets put on it................ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAhaHAHAHAAHAA FUCKING HALLERIOUJGCBKM HJGTJMUJKRHFCXUJHJRF AHAHAHAHAHA
DANE COOK IS SOOOO FUNNT GUYSSSSS!!!!!
mrgordonplaysdrums 1 week ago
dane cook is shit
3indamorning 1 week ago
Can someone tell me what part I should laugh at?
Petrograd1918 1 week ago
this guy isn't funny or intelligent.
bigsinks101 1 week ago
Dear top comments, I am a Christian and I don't get offended by Christian jokes. But enjoy all your thumbs up putting people into stereotypes anyways.
stephersluvsyou 1 week ago 27
@stephersluvsyou You go to hell for not being angry at atheists making jokes of christians
CurseCreep 1 day ago
Painfully unfunny and an utter douchebag to boot.
TertiaryCitadel 1 week ago
i won't be a tree i'll be a beautiful flower
AtomiCoentro 1 week ago
never getts old!
weirdestkiddIV 1 week ago
He's just an asshole. Who even likes this stupid shit?
Porzellanschnitte 1 week ago
@Porzellanschnitte Apparently over 5k according to this video. And all of the people that paid to go see him.
Majoraspirit 1 week ago
@Porzellanschnitte
Aside from stealing other jokes (which is being an ASSHOLE indeed) in what other way is he an ass?
Catmangamer 1 week ago
:/ 1. Not all atheists are like that, so I hope dane cook doesn't have anything against atheists in general.
2. if he does, he has 1 less fan
Isissa125 1 week ago
How do people find this guy funny?
jake12831 1 week ago
Atheists come across as people who pat themselves on the back for not believing in whatever science cannot prove. They're also condescending pricks with no moral compass. :)
laszl045 1 week ago
@laszl045 If you're being serious, why don't you believe in Zeus? He can't be proved by science and I've seen way more condescending prick theists than atheists in my lifetime. The level of intolerance by some theists is ridiculous. And as for the no moral compass, if you believe morality comes from God, why don't believe in everything in the Bible? You're picking and choosing, clearly you have a better moral compass than God. If you're trolling, well done.
StrifeBlood 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@laszl045 Haha Really? Speak of pricks with no moral compass
How do u explan Child Molestation in Christian chuch? Or HOW exactly did Joseph's wife got pregnant? you should actually pat Joseph on the back for having a bastard and a cheating slut wife lol
mm3345678 1 week ago
why so long to deliver a punch line? booooooooring
12amnews 1 week ago
I was fine with it until he relates a common German phrase to Hitler. Seriously dude, you're an asshole.
LeadFarmer1597 1 week ago
This guy isn't funny. He takes five minutes just to get to the fucking punchline of a joke. Mitch Hedgeberg would have shortened all this crap down to two or three lines and the audience would have been roaring with laughter at the end.
georgebaggy 1 week ago 3
I don't give a shit if he's bagging out athiests. I wasn't insulted/offended or any of that shit. I can take a joke. It's just giving the impression that Athiests believe in reincarnation is pretty fucking ignorant. Reincarnation is a Buddhist/Hindu concept, and is thus a theist one. Yeah, comedy doesn't have to be politically correct, but he's giving his moronic audience the wrong impression about people who don't share their viewpoints. Please, try to attack me someone, Just try.
Das2140 1 week ago 4
I'm an atheist and I find this hilarious.
godevil1313 1 week ago 29
His argument is ridiculous because us coming back as parts of trees and being fertilizer for new life is a FACT.
PorroFirst 1 week ago
It's funny because that Atheist made a good point (About becoming a tree anyway)
Jakjakv1 1 week ago
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I had to repeat this here and as an athiest I am being strictly non-personal but; Tosh and Dane Cook are absolutely the cripplingly worst comedians I've ever had the displeasure of listening to
danielcxt 1 week ago
Atheists take themselves way to seriously.
polishguy994 1 week ago
... Everyone is being really hateful about this... He's not making fun of Atheists. He's making fun of how arrogant that asshole that sneezed on him was.
I'm sure Dane Cook doesn't have a personal vendetta against Atheists.
sarabear461 1 week ago 3
I'm pretty sure even Christians don't find this funny...
Monkeysandpie 1 week ago
@Monkeysandpie i do
Zombies8Alex 1 week ago
How the hell can people like this? He isn't saying anything funny!
F00REX 1 week ago
I just watched through the whole clip...still waiting to laugh... =/
AngelosInside 1 week ago
Anyone that finds Dane Cook funny is a fucking moron.
biggiedickson 1 week ago
Jesus dislikes Dane Cook 1,718 times
SpaceHawk13 1 week ago
That was the greatest joke i ever heard.
And Lmfaooo at the Atheist people trying to rash on people who actually believe in something?
It was a joke, and it made perfect sense.
It was smart, And hilarious!
If you don't think its funny, go die and become a tree, hopefully you'll become part of the bible.
CrystalAnimes 1 week ago
I haaaattee Catholicism, but that's FUCKING HILARIOUS. Well played Mr. Cook. Well played.
LaHatterFan 1 week ago
anything german= hitler, and the athesits being offensive?
dalektaliban 1 week ago
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dalektaliban 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
did anyone else actually google the word "snarky"?
dabackstopnumber57 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I dunno about God, but its a miracle this guys gets any laughs.
avraks 1 week ago
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avraks 1 week ago
It's a joke guys, about an arrogant atheist who just sneezed on him. It would have been just as funny the other way around. He didn't hate the guy cause he was an atheist he hated him cause he was a dickhead.
subwoofer09 1 week ago
this guy is terrible
McBigMac19 1 week ago
Geez what a fucktard this guy is. If you are going to be a fucktard at least be funny.
misterclownface 1 week ago
And here I was thinking there was a rule in christianity about not wishing thy neighbour anything evil, Oh well, enjoy not arriving at that airport Dane.
Unshapenkris 1 week ago
"When you die nothing happens."
So isn't that against religion? So the crowd is atheist???
I'm confused.
Croccington 2 weeks ago
"im catholic" *crowd cheers* YAY HE'S ON MY TEAM!! MY TEAM! WE HAVE DANE COOK HOORAY! YAY FOR CATHOLICS!
Fuck athiests, fuck muslims, fuck christians. I hate every one of them
lukyganesh 2 weeks ago
@lukyganesh HA! You fail! Catholic's are Christians too... You hate yourself? Go get help.
GreenSheepWoman 1 week ago
@GreenSheepWoman why waste my time explaining my comment to you? you're obviously too dumb to get it. so instead, fuck you.
lukyganesh 1 week ago
@lukyganesh Yes, fuck everyone has a different faith or viewpoint to yours.
Das2140 1 week ago
@Das2140 ya, so fuck you too
lukyganesh 1 week ago
@lukyganesh You're a racist, an unjustified bigot, you have minute, ignorant and insignificant viewpoint of the world around you. and you're a fucking idiot, don't even think for a second that you aren't. No matter what you do in life, I hope you remember that.
Das2140 1 week ago
@Das2140 and you have lousy grammar. btw, how did you manage to type this with both thumbs jammed up your ass?
lukyganesh 1 week ago
@lukyganesh Oh wow, you're eally going for the personals now. Ow, my feelings. Go play your Guitar some more, sweetheart, the ladies love that.
Das2140 6 days ago
worst joke ever.
lambsquad17 2 weeks ago
Wow what a douche.
futtgoredo 2 weeks ago
I'm an atheist and I thought this was freaking awesome!
Shmoanator26 2 weeks ago
Funny how when it's the atheist who are being cussed , they start crying. Seriously, it's a joke and you got to admit its funny, and you say Christians can't take this shit.
ProweJosh 2 weeks ago
Fuck the Atheist
mma4ever100 2 weeks ago
I'm an atheist and honestly I didn't find this insulting. Alright except for the end a little.
KillaTequilla83 2 weeks ago
Christian: "Come on guys it's just a joke ;) settle down!"
~Comedian tells joke belittling christian~
Christian: "Stop being so offensive and intolerant you're going to hell you have no morals I hope you get raped you satan worshipping bastards"
Ringwaul 2 weeks ago 42
Wow I knew Dane Cook was terrible but he's proven he's a fool with this gem.
beetmatchfail 2 weeks ago
Dane Cook is a motile form of cancer.
roundthedecay 2 weeks ago
Which Bible, Dane? The one that tells me that god might ask me to kill my kid and I'd better fucking do it? The one that tells me that it's okay for me to beat the shit out of my slaves, so long as they recover from the beatings in a couple of days and get back to slaving? The one that tells me that I cannot eat meat on Fridays? The one whose commandments give women the same classification as cattle (i.e. the property of a man)?
I'd rather be a fucking ficus.
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@1moreastronaut you do know religion isn't real right?
narutolee1318 2 weeks ago
@narutolee1318 I know god isn't real...
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@1moreastronaut none of us know that its all a matter of who belives in him and who doesnt. its like saying that our government isnt real
narutolee1318 1 week ago
At the same time, I know that people view the Bible as the "word of god", and that stories like Abraham being told to kill Isaac are absolutely true. And that scares me.
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@1moreastronaut You know that this WAS supposed to be a joke and that NO Christians agree with those certain statements in the bible? And I haven't seen anything in the bible that has to do with it being okay to beating slaves.
XxCyanAndWaterxX 2 weeks ago
@XxCyanAndWaterxX I'm well aware that it was SUPPOSED to be a joke. And if NO Christians agree with those passages of the Bible, then they are not Christians. You either accept the Bible as the infallable, unaltered word of God or you are a heathen.
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@XxCyanAndWaterxX As for slavery...
"When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property." (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@XxCyanAndWaterxX and before you try to counter with "that's Old Testament nonsense", here's a quote from Jesus Christ himself:
The servant will be severely punished, for though he knew his duty, he refused to do it. "But people who are not aware that they are doing wrong will be punished only lightly. Much is required from those to whom much is given, and much more is required from those to whom much more is given." (Luke 12:47-48 NLT)
1moreastronaut 2 weeks ago
@1moreastronaut The proper word for humans being treated as cattle is chattle :P. Just throwing that out there and I could not agree more.
getblunted4life 2 weeks ago
Funny comedian
Unfunny actor
TRUTH
pythonman7 2 weeks ago
yes very Christian of you to wish someone being cut with an axe ;) ,
typical hypocritical Christian attitude
Andy3381000 2 weeks ago 3
@Andy3381000 He was making a joke, racist -_-
XxCyanAndWaterxX 2 weeks ago
Making fun of Athiests: hurr durr i r christian, its perfectly fine for me to go "LOL WHEN U DIE = NOTHING"
Making fun of Christians (suddenly its personal):
athiest goes up on stage: "FUCK YOU ALL, GOD WILL BURN YOU FOREVER, SOMETHING ABOUYT HOMOSEXUALS AND ABORTION, "and god said something that is contradicted somewhere else" -Leviticus 1337
Hypocrite assholes.
Also, breaking down and becoming a fertilizer of a tree is more likely than meeting people at a "soul airport".
xJackeeboix 2 weeks ago 32
@xJackeeboix Have fun being the bible
Splinterdraco 1 week ago
@Splinterdraco Have fun at the soul airport, you fucking child.
xJackeeboix 1 week ago
@xJackeeboix I will, can't wait to finally meet Grandpa
...oh, and i'm not Christian ;)
Splinterdraco 1 week ago
@Splinterdraco Oh, you must believe in Flying Spagetti Monster then?
Well, i hope your imaginary friend and grandpa fly around eating icecream and doing all the stuff the kids are doing.
I cant wait to burn in hell and worship satan and eat babies as the dirty athiest i am.
Long live Stalin and Hitler (because thats what we smexy athiests do)
-.-
xJackeeboix 1 week ago
this is not funny....
888peanut888 2 weeks ago
Man I want to be a stand up comic and watching this really pisses me off. How the hell did this gibroni get to be on stage. So fucking depressing.
whochachi 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I wondered who would find this funny and actually spend money to go see this douchebag. Then I noticed the applause at 3:22 when he just mentions he is catholic and I realised: "Oh,THOSE people."
ObakeFilter 2 weeks ago
I am now imagining that the toilets were actually right on the side of the stage and you just ambled calmly past Cook, putting him off his stride.
ObakeFilter 2 weeks ago
A year ago everyone loved Dane Cook. What happened since then? Just curious
xXBallistic82Xx 2 weeks ago
He seriously is not funny in any way, shape or form . Who would by a ticket to his show ?
classyandsassy 2 weeks ago
I watched this without laughing, I am the 99%
iazy9 2 weeks ago
Dane cook is an asshole!
jackdeath 2 weeks ago
i wanna be a ficus!!!!!!!
elissbern 2 weeks ago
Lets chop down all trees we see , maybe some of them are atheists. That will show them!
SaynotoKlaus 2 weeks ago
George Carlin. All that needs to be said. If this is what comedy is now, and I'm supposed to laugh at this, I guess I'm a sulking depressed pessimist. Sad.
Icezix 2 weeks ago
What is comedy?
deathdragon1987 2 weeks ago
are all christians afraid of the life circle like that?
Hoyuko 2 weeks ago
@Hoyuko It's a joke ffs. And why do u even ask, do u really have to ask if you should judge an entire group of people, that concists of 2 billion people, for what one guy, a comedian, jokes about? really?
malmobarn 2 weeks ago
Dane Cook is hilarious!
AarynMusic 2 weeks ago
Wow. Dane Cook didnt even understand the guys argument and preceded to make a "joke" about his story. When animals die their bodies break down. Its the same with all life, trees etc. It all becomes fertilizer hence the guys gonna become a tree, become grass, become flowers. And then whenever an animal eats that grass he'll become that animal. And by that i mean only a very small part of him.
He meant it in the same way as you eat a steak for body fuel
NicosMind 2 weeks ago
omg i sneezed while watching this video
MrAimiel 2 weeks ago
He's not funny
rickeichmann 2 weeks ago
When is he going to be funny?????????????
rickeichmann 2 weeks ago
When you die....well something happens..I don't know what happens...but SOMETHING happens. Most people don't actually know whats going to happen. the only people that know are dead people and we can't really ask them.
AnthonyTValenti 2 weeks ago
I think the problem with Dane Cook is that although his stories and punchlines are actually good comedy stuff, he tends to repeat lines as if he wanted to make sure even the dumbest guy in the crowd gets it. And I don't like his exaggerated gestures but then again that's just me.
And concerning those religious discussions that pop up every time god is mentioned in a video: settle down. Believe what you want to believe but be tolerant. No need to make a fuss about it. Goes to the atheists, too
OriginalShoesalesman 2 weeks ago
hahah all the Butthurt atheists in the comments make me lawl. It was a fucking comedy bit relax folks. On a RELATED note I thought it was pretty funny. Great job sir cook!!
member1337ful 2 weeks ago
you say "GOD bless you" but, actually mean 'cover your FUCKING mouth' ??!! how very religious and respectful of you towards God
plainhonestandsimple 2 weeks ago
What's interesting is that the whole "coming back as a tree" things makes a lot more sense, even with Dane trying to spin it the other way. I wonder if he noticed that when he watched himself on video...
morrisd9 2 weeks ago
Americans are so stupid. This guy fills stadiums but Bill Hicks was practically unknown in his time.
jmt12345ify 2 weeks ago
What I wonder is the reaction of some people saying that "the atheist" do or don't believe something... there's no standardised atheist belief, it just means you don't believe in a higher deity(be it god gods or a spaghetti monster(look it up its a religion)) so this unmannered guy may well believe he will reincarnate as a tree.
PS: nothing against people who do believe in what ever except those who trouble others with it:)
Warzin666 2 weeks ago
What an ignorant douche. "LOL I THINK ATHEISTS SHOULD GET TURNED INTO BIBLES!!!" Not all atheists are like that guy... hopefully not all catholics are like Dane Cook.
1shimmyshimmyshimmy1 2 weeks ago
ATHEISTS DONT BELIEVE THEY'LL COME BACK AS TREES.
1shimmyshimmyshimmy1 2 weeks ago
What an unfunny ignorant dickhole.
AnarchistAardwolf 2 weeks ago
Yeah atheist totally believe they'll become trees and christian's totally aren't hypocritical ignorant arseholes. Came here because of American Dad and thankfully America is a diverse place and isn't completely full of these hateful christians.
Xanoptic0n 2 weeks ago
@Xanoptic0n Not all atheists believe they will come back as trees.....
ColdBloodedEnigma561 2 weeks ago
very mommy safe comedy but is not really anything special or bad
refch 2 weeks ago
Guys, guys, no need to fight over one little joke here and debating about whether Dane Cook is funny or not. Can't we all just get along here? D:
ItsKimiTime 2 weeks ago 2
Atheist don't believe in reincarnation, so why would he come back as a tree. This whole joke is lame.
Sc9on 2 weeks ago
American Dad brought me here...Steve is wrong!
bratwurst6666 2 weeks ago 44
@bratwurst6666 lol me 2
parnelldale 2 weeks ago
the only thing hilarious about this video is the fact that you said he was hilarious.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago 17
@Detth2you yeah like you could be any funnier...
sephiroth77416 2 weeks ago
@sephiroth77416
My dog is funnier than Dane Cook. Dane Cook is only funny to a bunch of 12 year old idiots.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you yea well i think he's pretty fucking hilarious myself. and i'm sorry to say this but you seem to have a pretty stupid sense of humor yourself if the word "hilarious" is that funny to you.
910iAmHuGs 2 weeks ago
@910iAmHuGs
Obviously you didn't get my 'joke' and he isn't funny. You have the sense of humor of a 12 year old if you think he's funny.
Detth2you 2 weeks ago
@Detth2you don't be an idiot... i knew exactly what your "joke" was. obviously you don't understand my sarcasm. you have the IQ of a piece of wood if you can't understand something so obvious.
910iAmHuGs 1 week ago