aww so cute. I like your voice and your guitar playing is very neat as well. They're right about needing a hook and your lyrics need more depth, its not enough to say that you'd wait forever. You need to paint a picture that infers exactly that without saying it directly. Songwriting is an art not easily developed. Its cool that you love it and are capable, you just gotta keep chugging along with it. You're getting somewhere.
Potential. Focus on structure. It's imperitive to be able to decipher verse from prechorus, bridge from chorus etc. These changes are what hook listeners. It's very close.
Poetry and lyrics are a huge part of music, esp for female listeners. Try and write in a meter with rhyming. Difficult but adds a layer of quality that will seperate u from the pack.
Are those office partitions? It's cool that they let you record at work when they're closed. Otherwise, how does the song go? Verse, followed by a verse, followed by a verse... finally, closes with a verse? Hey, at least it's short! Lyrically, it sounds like a leftover Halmark card after V-Day.
Awesome concept, your voice is clear, and sounds good. Add just a little spice. Like a bridge, or tacet. Something to make listeners remember it is you. Otherwise, killer idea, and production.
@ 1:05 go D, Am, Em..., D, Am, C, D and back into your G, Em, C.... progression.
I don't know. Songs are subjective. There's no right or wrong way to do them, but I'm into throwing in changes to keep it fresh. There are songs that don't have changes so this is not a "rule", but I feel like it should do something atleast by 1:05
You progression rhythm could be mixed up a bit too, just to keep the listener listening.
This songs like what it is... A pro performance.... The give a take could go either way... Someone mention adding cymbals, a whole band, a lead guitar... But that's just being framed... Perhaps light strings not to take away from your voice nor the acoustic guitar.... Besides that.... GREAT.... Just go to go out there and make noise like John Mayer did... No more, no less. Keep up the good work.
This songs like what it is... A pro performance.... The give a take could go either way... Someone mention adding cymbals, a whole band, a lead guitar... But that's just being framed... Perhaps light strings not to take away from your voice nor the acoustic guitar.... Besides that.... GREAT.... Just go to go out there and many noise like John Mayer did... No more, no less. Keep up the good work.
Sounds good to me, I would like to hear a full a band with it. i think it would sound good with a bit of lead guitar here and there maybe a touch of cymbal, but i like as is to.
Yea it's not a top ten hit but you play and sing well. Are you located in the Springs? Are you looking to get a band started? There are so many bad singers out there so it is nice to hear a good one.
Your song and singing are very good. I find 'Existenceisrelative's comment funny. I fell out of favor with Ovations just last Sunday when I compared them w/ Fender and Ibenaz acoustics. And to Cojw516 yes, it may lack commercial appeal but still very good.
I've really fallen out of love with the ovation guitars. The more I hear them the more the high end noises bug the crap out of me. It's nothing about your playing, just a floating thought I had. I figured I would put it here as proof that I was here. Song's good. And I really appreciate the fantastic quality of the vocal recording.
To be completely honest, and I am a musician, the song lacks commercial appeal. Your guitar playing and singing are great! The song will appeal to other song writers and creative types, but not to the main stream; and I believe this is where all writers struggle to break through this barricade. Being as creative as you are, you are different from most people. Figure out what you have in common with most folks and write about that....just my advice....but nice song.
Sounds good. You have a nice voice and a cute face. I think you will do well. The song needs a commercial hook or maybe a guitar line. I'd like to hear it when it is done!
Nice job brotherachi
kickemassicus 10 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
yall guys are sick this is actually a great song an i know music....
Nino29488 10 months ago
yall guys are sick this is actually a great song an i know music....
Nino29488 10 months ago
yall guys are sick this is actually a great song an i know music....
Nino29488 10 months ago
good song. Keep on truckin.
chaosofscotty 10 months ago
And.... all singers use reverb you little twit. You'd be surprised to hear how many famous singers are no better than you or I without the effects
TheJCFan 10 months ago
American Idol is not a true measure of talent..... gimme a break kid
Chris Daughtry should have taught you that.
TheJCFan 10 months ago
Not my style of music, but youre an excellent singer
TheJCFan 10 months ago
OMG FANTASTIC YOU SHOULD BE FAMOUS OR SOMETHING I LOVE YOUR VOICE!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDD
KungFuPanda05281 10 months ago
@KungFuPanda05281 Thanks!
traviswademusic 10 months ago
@KungFuPanda05281
Oh really? tell him to go on Idol then and let's see if how long he lasts.....Certainly he is a better singer than Pia right?
gerrysmomma 10 months ago
@gerrysmomma most definately! I mean, Pia was great, but...I think this dude's better(:
KungFuPanda05281 10 months ago
DO YOU LIVE IN ST GEORG UTAH? WANNA RECORD SOME MUSIC TOGETHER
356nancy 10 months ago
Dude, you have great talent. You have a voice and songwriting ability. That's huge !
0814NIK 11 months ago
I liked it. Kind of a folk sound to it. very nice voice also.
deannkaren4God 11 months ago
JackstandJohnny is a douche bag, you just keep writing.
matorton 11 months ago
aww so cute. I like your voice and your guitar playing is very neat as well. They're right about needing a hook and your lyrics need more depth, its not enough to say that you'd wait forever. You need to paint a picture that infers exactly that without saying it directly. Songwriting is an art not easily developed. Its cool that you love it and are capable, you just gotta keep chugging along with it. You're getting somewhere.
TheResponsibleOnes 11 months ago
touchy feely acoustic lesbian seagull eh? You trying to squeeze blood from a fuckin turnip.
JackstandJohnny 11 months ago
Potential. Focus on structure. It's imperitive to be able to decipher verse from prechorus, bridge from chorus etc. These changes are what hook listeners. It's very close.
Poetry and lyrics are a huge part of music, esp for female listeners. Try and write in a meter with rhyming. Difficult but adds a layer of quality that will seperate u from the pack.
thomasdelguercio 11 months ago
Don't quit your day job
gerrysmomma 11 months ago
@gerrysmomma No worries.
traviswademusic 10 months ago
@gerrysmomma not cool this guy is great
123456789drumguy 10 months ago
Good job
videomaker1289 11 months ago
good job.
MidwestKamikazeDisco 11 months ago
Are those office partitions? It's cool that they let you record at work when they're closed. Otherwise, how does the song go? Verse, followed by a verse, followed by a verse... finally, closes with a verse? Hey, at least it's short! Lyrically, it sounds like a leftover Halmark card after V-Day.
dirkadirka151 11 months ago
great stuff no matter what the haters say keep doing what you love you can tell you love to sing and perform . i thought it was super
dannytwotone 11 months ago
Nice, I wish I could songwrite.
cece678 11 months ago
Awesome concept, your voice is clear, and sounds good.
Add just a little spice. Like a bridge, or tacet.
Something to make listeners remember it is you. Otherwise, killer idea, and production.
MrBluesguitarman 11 months ago
Awesome concept, your voice is clear, and sounds good. Add just a little spice. Like a bridge, or tacet. Something to make listeners remember it is you. Otherwise, killer idea, and production.
MrBluesguitarman 11 months ago
@ 1:05 go D, Am, Em..., D, Am, C, D and back into your G, Em, C.... progression.
I don't know. Songs are subjective. There's no right or wrong way to do them, but I'm into throwing in changes to keep it fresh. There are songs that don't have changes so this is not a "rule", but I feel like it should do something atleast by 1:05
You progression rhythm could be mixed up a bit too, just to keep the listener listening.
coronet67 11 months ago
This songs like what it is... A pro performance.... The give a take could go either way... Someone mention adding cymbals, a whole band, a lead guitar... But that's just being framed... Perhaps light strings not to take away from your voice nor the acoustic guitar.... Besides that.... GREAT.... Just go to go out there and make noise like John Mayer did... No more, no less. Keep up the good work.
TribeAtLargePhracass 11 months ago
This songs like what it is... A pro performance.... The give a take could go either way... Someone mention adding cymbals, a whole band, a lead guitar... But that's just being framed... Perhaps light strings not to take away from your voice nor the acoustic guitar.... Besides that.... GREAT.... Just go to go out there and many noise like John Mayer did... No more, no less. Keep up the good work.
TribeAtLargePhracass 11 months ago
gay
PrintmakingToday 11 months ago
@PrintmakingToday It's brave of you to come out of the closet. I'm not sure why you did it here, but whatever.
coronet67 11 months ago
Sounds good to me, I would like to hear a full a band with it. i think it would sound good with a bit of lead guitar here and there maybe a touch of cymbal, but i like as is to.
rhinosig226 11 months ago
Sweet sounds! Kinda sad though :( Some sun would go a long way for you bro. Stay keeping it real though..
LyonBalls 11 months ago
Lotsa verb
TheJohnSanderson 11 months ago
it sounds perfect if thats the live recording ur playing on the video good stuff
bigostc 11 months ago
Yea it's not a top ten hit but you play and sing well. Are you located in the Springs? Are you looking to get a band started? There are so many bad singers out there so it is nice to hear a good one.
BeefJerkyManz 11 months ago
Yea, I agree the song lacks commercial appeal. It also has no hook.
I assume you`re asking for a brutal opinion. But absolutely do not give up
`cause it wasn`t that bad...
waycooltoo 11 months ago
Meaning of Life - Experience, Transform and Enjoy, my friend. Excellent song by the way!
mrevera 11 months ago
Your song and singing are very good. I find 'Existenceisrelative's comment funny. I fell out of favor with Ovations just last Sunday when I compared them w/ Fender and Ibenaz acoustics. And to Cojw516 yes, it may lack commercial appeal but still very good.
chiden7 11 months ago
I've really fallen out of love with the ovation guitars. The more I hear them the more the high end noises bug the crap out of me. It's nothing about your playing, just a floating thought I had. I figured I would put it here as proof that I was here. Song's good. And I really appreciate the fantastic quality of the vocal recording.
existenceisrelative 11 months ago
To be completely honest, and I am a musician, the song lacks commercial appeal. Your guitar playing and singing are great! The song will appeal to other song writers and creative types, but not to the main stream; and I believe this is where all writers struggle to break through this barricade. Being as creative as you are, you are different from most people. Figure out what you have in common with most folks and write about that....just my advice....but nice song.
COJW516 11 months ago
Nice song...
isisizme1 11 months ago
good shit bro, keep the faith..
crittertv 11 months ago
good stuff
ANASTASIACHAVEZVLOG 11 months ago
I'm hearing shades of John Lennon in your voice.
SanDiegoBabyBuddha 11 months ago
Sounds good. You have a nice voice and a cute face. I think you will do well. The song needs a commercial hook or maybe a guitar line. I'd like to hear it when it is done!
irishfox89 11 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Smooth vocals. Melody line is good but I think you need a pronounced bridge to break it up. Good luck with putting the finishing touches on it!
CliffRat1 11 months ago
Smooth vocals. Melody line is good but I think you need a pronounced bridge to break it up. Good luck with putting the finishing touches on it!
CliffRat1 11 months ago 2
Excellent articulation. I could understand every word.
sscoleri 11 months ago
Suoer great song. Dont stop!!!! You got skills!!!
mshed44 11 months ago
awesome
TheMichaelSwan 11 months ago
Nice Job. Keep on rockin....
montanarockfan 11 months ago
Not my cup of tea personally,but i can tell its a well written song and everything sounds nice and crisp.great job sir.
- Josh C
215
vv215vv 11 months ago
Good song to sing to your girlfriend,Real good job of recording nice tone
let me say,wish I could sing and play as good as you.
Based on the mood i'm in at the moment, the song does nothing for me
gdgeo 11 months ago
very nice.
reaperpro 11 months ago
I love it! great voice!! :)
sugarsweetbadgirl 11 months ago
No pitch Issues. Thus "...very, very, very minor pitch issues..."
Good song. Keep writing.
Great mix.
RandellFB 11 months ago
nice job travis
taylor655814 11 months ago
Hey Travis, think ya did a really GREAT job !!!! If ya need a drummer let me know..
wolverine33523 1 year ago
songs not very inventive, and theres some very very very, minor pitch issues with your voice, but it's a pretty song. well done!
stylerprofyler 1 year ago