a villanelle - The Dance

[HOSTILEPRODUCTtv]

brilliant *****

[dashpoet]

Great response! Thank you.

.... dashpoetry downloads still down, sadly, but hey!

[nancyleeould]

Absolutely perfect...spot on!

Great sense of rhythm.

Very much enjoyed indeed.

Hugs~Nancy

[dashpoet]

Ditto your comment! Thank you Nancy, it's lovely to be able to share my poetry with you. Cheers for now, Mark.

[jantheempress]

with music...a song :)

[dashpoet]

... you hum and I'll sing the words! Lovely idea, thanks Jan

[XaveJamesGrey]

Your villainelle says 'Love is blind' by your allusion "with your eyes shut...." Clever.

[dashpoet]

I always try for layered meaning in my poetry - I like villanelles for their density, provided of course that the repeated words are strong enough. They are deceptively simple! Thanks for giving this one some of your time, James, I appreciate your response.

[leftysergeant]

Now I shall have to do some Google research on this interesting form.

The imagery is fascinating here. I take it to mean that we use the significant others in our lives to avoid looking at, or at least to ameliorate that which might be too unpleasant to look at. Or, perhaps, we fight off our demons and the attacks of cruel fate, back-to-back with a trusted comrade, a life partner.. Just my take.

[dashpoet]

Google is where I started, having heard a villanelle by TheDisexists here on YouTube.

The poem is about self pity really, people who are self absorbed, and the way that those who love them have to adapt their lives constantly to fit around them. A strange love poem perhaps, but it takes all sorts!

[MarasVeil]

Exquisitely wrought like an ancient dance... it reminds me of the gentle but lively Sardane I danced in a mountain village of Catalan last Summer... the ancient crones held hands with the village maidens and everyone danced inbetween with the Grandfather in the middle striking the beat with his staff. Life to me is ever a dance... if in overflowing sorrow or joy, it is the inmost light that moves my world. Thank you for this "enclosed garden" of metre and rhyme in which to move and be.

[dashpoet]

Such a beautiful way you have with words, such vivid scenes you paint. Thanks Anne, as ever, for your comments and insight.

[tinySpectacle]

Great poem and use of this form: you reinforce the ideas bringing them to new nuance without it getting repetitive. Amazing.

[dashpoet]

Sort of a poetry pill I guess, easy to swallow! I like the way that a villanelle allows me to build on a theme - I have enjoyed the challenge of writing to such a tight form. Thanks Lo.

[PoetLina]

Composed and performed with "aplomb". (Can you tell I've just returned from France?) :-) 5* fav.

[dashpoet]

Merci! Hope you had a good trip. Thanks PoetLina, good to hear from you again.

[kel2corkey]

Super poem Mark.

5*****

[dashpoet]

Cheers Kel, nice one. Thank you.

[dashpoet]

Thanks Paul. These villanelles are my first attempt at following a form set by others, apart I guess from the few takes on haiku that I have attempted. In some ways it is easier to know how the poem will shape up, even before I have started writing. Clearly, though, having such rigid form - down to the number of syllables in a line - makes word choice crucial. I like that, though, for the way it makes me think about how to say what I want to! Cheers for now, Mark.

[leftysergeant]

Eventually, I supposev that it does help to find one form which best fits our particular styles when we write. It is hard to say what makes one style more suitable to one person than to another. I, for instance, find it easy to write si-jo and string them together, or to write rubaiyat. My closest friend at work found the concept of si-jo fascinating when I demonstrated it for him, but cannot write them. But he writes rap. I could more easily flap my arms and fly. Poetry is ideosynchratic.

[dashpoet]

Fascinating exchange between people on YouTube, it is a great medium. I've listened to your si-jos before, I'll have to google now to find out more!

[PaulBradford13]

this was very good Mark. I notice the last verse has 4 lines as opposed to three. I like this form of stanza, how the second lines rhyme with each other from all verses, yet stand alone not rhyming within the verse. I like things like that. It might be my O.C.D.  : )

well done.

Paul

[charlottepoet]

nice work mark :)

i am trying to get your vid linked on my form21 essay about the villanelle. I'll have to drop you a youtube mail when it is updated

-jessie

[dashpoet]

form21? Not sure what that is, but delighted to think my poem is taken on and used. Thanks Jessie, I look forwards to hearing from you.

[RowanFortuneWood]

Superb, 5*

[dashpoet]

Thanks Rowan, good to hear from you - I hope all is well. Cheers for now, Mark.

[DoorsChick1967]

love line two. Has a very bittersweet feel.

Viva La Villanelle! lol

[dashpoet]

That was the first line I wrote, when I came back to this, that lead me to finish the poem. I'm glad you were taken by it. Thanks DoorsChick.

[andrewnorris1]

Wow, this is tremendous writing, tremendous despair and forcefully read. I like poems with strict form but you made it flow so well that the form is hardly obvious. Gotta be a fav.

[dashpoet]

Thanks Andrew, I was pleased with the way this flowed, so to hear your comment is very affirming. Cheers for now, Mark.

[dashpoet]

I'll have to be careful they don't start to dominate my writing! I enjoy the freer hand too. Cheers Janeczka, good to hear from you.

[janeczka]

I'm impressed! I'm not good with those formal patterns.

[AntaresInScorpius]

nice. havent seen you in a while dash.

[dashpoet]

Good to be back about. Thanks Antares.

[Kabuki0009]

Nice poem well read too *****stars; )

[dashpoet]

Thanks Marcell, always good to hear from you. Hope you are well, cheers for now, Mark.

[DavidRandallCurtis]

Got lost in this... lost in a good way... 5*/faved

[dashpoet]

Thanks David. I feel a bit like I'm climbing back in the ring after the school holidays - it's good to catch up with you again!

[ozjthomas]

Nice poem. I like the repitition.

[dashpoet]

Thanks oz. It's all in the nature of the beast!

[rozeboosje]

lovely :-)

[dashpoet]

Good to hear from you roseboosje, thank you.

[anglicansag]

A poignant minuet.

[dashpoet]

Minuet indeed, perfect choice of words. Thanks Piero.

[VisionGhostPoet]

That style, which I must admit I wasnt familiar with, has a gloriously old English feel to it. I looked it up and found Edwin Arlington Robinson's villanelle The House on the Hill is now my favourite.

[dashpoet]

Thanks for the tip, VisionGhost, I'll look it up. I have enjoyed writing these, in part precisely because of the way it connects me and my poetry to the pre-YouTube world!

[keanghiero]

NICE.

5*

ALL THE BEST

KEAN

[dashpoet]

Thanks Kean, I appreciate it.