SMBC Theater - Wargames

[NexAngelus405]

Indeed, the only truly unwinnable game is The Game. Wait a minute... DAMMIT, I LOST!

[minodragon]

@NexAngelus405 I just lost the game.

[reluctable]

@minodragon You're playing The Game 1.0, you need to install the 1.5 patch.

In 1.0 you can lose if someone reminds you of it, but that is not in the true spirit of The Game. When played at its purest you should only be able to lose if it rises unbidden from your subconscious, because you saw that picture of dogs playing poker for example.

In 1.5 you do NOT lose if someone deliberately references The Game, you wait until you STOP thinking about it then you resume play as normal.

[DeusExInfernus]

Obligatory xkcd quote: xkcd.com/832/

[TheDrCN]

@DeusExInfernus Congrats, you've outsmarted an 80's supercomputer. Next challenge is outsmarting a TI-83.

[DeusExInfernus]

@TheDrCN Too bad, that could have been the most epic comment of all time, if you'd said T-800 instead...

[TalksWithDirt]

@TheDrCN 80's supercomputers were like 1.2 Ghz desktop computers from 10 years ago.

[INTPTT]

It's better to start out in a corner, actually.

We're talking about tic-tac-toe, right?

[MoonshadowKati]

@INTPTT Yes. If you go first and take the corner, you cannot lose, only tie.

[Davidkevin]

Not actually very funny. Real irony is preferable to pseudo-irony, which is what is depicted here. No win for you.

[radiaeve]

@Davidkevin drr drr drrrrr real insight is preferable to pseudo-intellectualism

[furryfox102]

isn't this how the fallout series started? (JK lol)

[RatDude1996]

banana fish origami spook

[ilovemusicWIKA]

im confused

[falken6967]

What we see here is impossible. He tried to play all the possibles gaming routines, so obviously he tried to do that and it didn't work.

[VeohXni]

HA HA, that was a funny spoof!

[Tigger0jk]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[fa204869]

haha sounds like stephen hawking

[gam0vr]

The only winning move is to play, perfectly, waiting for your opponent to make a mistake.

xkcd.com/832/

[gam0vr]

The only winning move is to play, perfectly, waiting for your opponent to make a mistake.

xkcd.com/832/

[Falsey]

I was like #666 O_O Slightly ominous.

[georules]

Anyone who really knows tic tac toe knows the corner is best.

[Tyrano111]

huh?



[GerMachineGun]

You know, the best first move is not the middle, It's the corner. In the middle the opponent has eight options, only four of which result in a win. In the corner seven of the eight options result in a win. Just thought you should know.

[fallouthirteen]

@GerMachineGun To be fair, that one option that doesn't result in a win (when you start with the corner) is the most common move anyone makes, the middle.

[GerMachineGun]

@fallouthirteen Right so then you take the opposite corner say "Game over, all I had to do was get the corners" and hope they fall for it by taking one of the remaining corners.

[drakeblood4]

Man, this is as awesome as two people who are experts at penises having sex without fear of pregnancy.

[loupax]

I EFFING LOVE IT!

[kraytul]

This gets props for addressing the first-player-win aspect of a great many games.

[gamerunknown]

Chess is boring. There's no story mode, the graphics suck and there hasn't been a content patch in like one thousand years.

Am I doing game theory right?

[HenkHenk76]

@gamerunknown

Actually the graphics are so real, it looks like real life.

Altough of course chess players don't have a life, but it's as close as it visually gets.

[MrHeyheyhey27]

@gamerunknown No, you're doing game DESIGN. And you're doing it wrong. Chess has a story: it is about simulating war; you build the story of the battle as you play. It is minimalist. There are no graphics, but that is not part of game design (unless you are thinking of art STYLE, not graphics quality). You don't need a patch, cause the game is bug-free. If it wasn't bug free, it would be bad that it wasn't supported, but a physical game is rarely buggy, so no patch.

[gamerunknown]

@MrHeyheyhey27

Story mode as opposed to PvP, if it weren't bug free and it was a joke (parodying untenable criticisms of modern games, if you must press the point). Intellectual checkmate!

[MisterZimbabwe]

@MrHeyheyhey27 Can't teabag opponents, and there is no Right Trigger I can hold down for five seconds while 20 different bars go up CHESS SUUUUUUUUCKS. Get wth the TIMES man, it's all SKATEBOARDS and iPods now!

[ollieroks]

OK, THAT REALLY SUCKED ASS!!!

[sirald66]

I just report all the 'touch him on the penis' posts as pedophiles.

[gaaratoast]

Oh man this is great. I'm playing this in my CS class tomorrow.

[InSaNeKiLlErBuNnY]

Ahahaha very nicely done!

[jimbobmcgee1]

What's with all this 'middle square' bullshit? Corner square, bitches. Let Player 2 get excited and take middle square. Then you get the opposite corner. Confuses everyone once and, unless they truly know, they'll go all Reversi on this shit and try and get a corner for themselves. Instant block on the remaining corner, see them get out of that.

Or, they'll think they're wise and try to retaliate with a corner straight away. Instant fail as you take the rest of them.

Fuck 5-4 draws...

[frankothecat]

@jimbobmcgee1

Middle square is the only square they can take that will give them a draw

[jimbobmcgee1]

@frankothecat

But only if they follow it up with a side, so they coerce you into making a blocking move.

If they go middle, corner it still requires a blocking move, but that blocking move will leave them screwed.

[Kaluriel]

i was kinda hoping james would be riding a missile like a bull rider as the earth exploded :(

[Kiensai]

OMG I fucking love it

[slickware]

Awesome re-cut. Nice job guys.

[doinkstep]

All your base are belong to us.

[duo317]

Touch him on the middle square, I mean......I like it a lot, I was actually thinking the same thing when I first saw wargames.

[NapalmTom]

Yeah, it's different. Still funny.

Geez, I can't believe people are whining about free funny videos.

[soulure]

lol good vid. for some reason I expected you to swap tic tac toe with an mmo at the end... the only winning move, is not to play.

[butterbat]

Be player one, touch him on the penis.

[HenryPlainview]

By far the worst SMBCT yet, this is the first time I've ever logged in to rate a video. I used to love SMBC, but I can't shake the feeling that Zach is on an inexorable decline.

[ShadowBrood]

@Jeff92381 The Real thing to learn is Don't use capitalization incorrectly Specially when you have no Punctuation

[ImTestingSleeping]

I don't like how they're recycling clips almost entirely from the movie. SMBC is a higher quality comedy source or, at least, I hold them to a higher standard. That standard is that their productions are entirely original. That isn't a fair or realistic standard, but they usually do very well to meet it. This week's video let me down though.

[darniane]

I thought this was the best smbc theater in quite a while

[blulink]

May the Fates bless you, you evil bastards! Funny stuff.

[LuisManuelLealDias]

stupid computer, look how your calculations turned out, you moron you! :D

[videovic99]

on the other hand, it was better than most of the crap today. imagine fucking michael bay had done this movie. boom, pow, kazong!

[videovic99]

oh thank you thank you thank you. that stupid movie has been nagging me for years.

[gshechler]

Me likes. Me likes lots. Earth go boom.

[frollard]

@anyone who downvoted this video. You missed the point.

[InfiniteAnvil]

There is SO MUCH WIN HERE.

[cymonsgames]

That's been bugging me for YEARS.

[DorthLous]

Also, best first player move is in one of the corners, not the center.

[FatPlus1]

I like the recut MUCH better!

[FoxEagle993]

Ahaha, I loved the movie and your sketch is the lesson I've learnt from all my years of naughts and crosses (tic tac toe)

[trixdisorder]

Haha, I like this. I always thought this movie's ending was silly.

[OrphanPaper]

it's corner squared bhahahahahaha

[Ikanem]

I approve of the direction, but this would be a bad introduction. Perhaps some better work and it will be just as good as the top tier sketches.

[Bluesteel202]

I am so confused

[yuppy64]

I thought this was hilarious, not a great concept but well executed and I appreciate the initiative.

[gumbydance]

nice



[BilegerantNinja]

It's kinda sad that the most liked comments are people responding with Penis jokes and confusion. C'mon, where are the fans that enjoy the true purpose of SMBC theatre and webcomics? I know you people are out there, the ones who crave Logical Fallacies pointed out and cleverly insulting science, geek and everyday life thought processess. I approve this direction.

[peeweesquidxx]

@BilegerantNinja agreed the "touch him on his penis" jokes are getting very old

[Usagibunnneh]

@BilegerantNinja Perhaps its because while some of us LOVE the SMBC comic, we feel the majority of the SMBC theatre sketches are kind of meh. Thus, we must create own humour.

And then touch him on the penis.

[nlp3000]

@BilegerantNinja heheh - logical phallus

[HouseFantastic]

@BilegerantNinja haha phallacies

[ColonialOctopus]

@BilegerantNinja >implying that SMBC isn't about penis jokes and confusion

[Komanoli]

@BilegerantNinja The true purpose of SMBC is dick jokes. How could you have missed this?

[GodLovesMe666]

@BilegerantNinja I'll touch you on the penis

[Exarian]

@BilegerantNinja

Make a long, meaningful youtube comment, touch him on the penis.

[Anargam]

@BilegerantNinja I'm pretty sure the true purpose of SMBC is dick jokes.

[WhoopsyStabby]

@BilegerantNinja

Penis jokes you say? I think you crave Logical Fallus-ies!

HAH!

[JorealConners]

@BilegerantNinja Engage in intelligent discussion, then touch him on the penis.

[melancholyid]

@BilegerantNinja Biggest comment is .. best comment?

[MisfitSlacker]

I thought it had clever editing

[clickclackBlipBlop]

I thought this was clever, and definitely wouldn't mind seeing you guys branch out from sketch comedy. :)

[arienh4]

This is the actual answer that game theory came up with, to the Cold War. The only way to win the Cold War would have been to be the first to launch missiles. A rational opponent will know that, if your country is going down, there's no use in a retaliation strike. Luckily, nobody realised this at the time.

[Kosorovich]

@arienh4 There's no use?? But if someone has nuked you, you aren't giong to be thinking rationally. So in fact, it doesn't matter that people realised this.

[arienh4]

@Kosorovich Aren't you? If you wouldn't be, you're not a very good leader. A good leader should always be thinking rationally, especially in crisis situations. Your attention should be focused on saving as much as possible, not pointless retribution.

[radioactivearachnid]

@arienh4 Yes, but really? Just because they're in a position of leadership doesn't necessarily mean they're a good leader.

[arienh4]

@radioactivearachnid True, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad one either.

[radioactivearachnid]

@arienh4 Still, for the attack first to win theory to be completely true, there'd have to be the assumption that everyone with control over the situation over an over 40 year-long period would be a good leader and act completely rationally in a situation like that.

[arienh4]

@radioactivearachnid Game theory assumes people act completely rational. That's the entire basis of it. The only reason that it didn't play out that way is because people don't always act completely rational, and that's what saved the world.

[Saeyabor]

...what?

[SyncrisisVideos]

Great stuff!

[FeralGhoulz]

PENIS!

[fantafanta]

I think the lesson you should take away from this is that it was polarizing, but as an entertainer you have to take risks. If you never challenge your fanbase and take the easy way out they will quickly lose interest. I wouldn't suggest you alienate your viewers, but there is no harm in trying something different once in a while. A lot of people (myself included) will still like it, even if others don't. Kudos on taking a risk.

Or I'm overthinking it :)

[isnoop]

@fantafanta You're overthinking it. All the haters are just too young to have seen Wargames.

[NimbusFilms]

QUIT DISLIKING THIS!

[oneclipleft]

Nice!

[MistressFeawen]

Don't stick to sketches.

[kevaichris]

I prefer the sketch comedy, but that was still pretty funny

[GmMstr500]

Saw the movie, got the joke, didn't like it. Stick to sketches.

[ZachBora]

Add in 2 or 3 penis jokes and it would be funny.

[wingspantt]

Personally, I thought this was funny as hell.

[TehConqueror]

keep the theater a theater and stick with the sketches

[caacashey]

What the hell was that???

[bbrake]

what's this from?

[WLDFLD]

kind of funny

[GreatAssGoblin]

I lost the game.

[DreagerEx]

Never saw the movie, maybe thats why I didn't get the joke =/

[gigantor068]

@DreagerEx It's enjoyable, and if I remember right the movie is based off an Incident in NORAD in the late 80s/Early 90s that was caused by a computer glitch.

[thangle13]

@gigantor068 War Games was made in 1983, so wrong wrong and wrong. 

[gigantor068]

@thangle13 guess i need to rewatch it then.

[KeanuIIDAMAN]

I liked it...

[fr3d420]

Not that great??????? FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

[KOTMyP]

WHO_0T

[AdeonC]

...What the hell?

[Lavaros]

This counts as content?

[MatthiasFarland]

Blow up the world, touch him on the... oh wait...

[demos182]

I lolled. Way to branch out guys!

[AugustusYoranderFreu]

Meh...

[i0npath]

It was ok.

[Everfalling]

ha ha ha ha. awesome.

[Crunkmastaflexx]

i don't get it

[shade270]

@Crunkmastaflexx One of the reasons the old Tic-Tac-Toe computer games always beat the player was the computer got the first turn. Now, apply that logic to a nice game of Gobal Thermo-Nuclear War.

[katey1dog]

Shall we play a game?

[lmm85]

I enjoyed this. It's nice to see you experiment with other types of comedy.

[duo1666]

War; the only losing move is not to play, as you will be walked over.

[OrangeMonkeyProD]

Ahaha This was great xD

[hardcoredoug]

Bwaaa?

p.s. Did I see Matthew Broderick somewhere in there? Just sayin

[Zralf]

no, there's a trick that makes the middle square obsolete, and the first moove is not important. i thought that with all your charts, graphs, analysys-es, science-based jokes, you'd know THAT. still like it though.

[lief1250]

@Zralf that is what they meant by "hope your opponent messes up"

[dartsharp]

dear lord stop it with" touch him on the penis. " the joke is so dead thanks to you who keep posting it that it sucks now. thanks. thumbs if you agree

[Idofphoenix]

@dartsharp Thumbs up this comment...then touch him on the penis. 

[TSEDTIKS]

@dartsharp

'Touch him on the penis' gets BETTER EVERY TIME; I have no idea what you're complaining about.

[porcupotomus]

heh.

[ProdigySim]

I liked it; everyone else is stupid.

[HouseFantastic]

kinda an outdated joke IMO

[olllj]

that actually wondered me in the movie and this ending is more realistic.

[invisiblekid1992]

Eh.  Funny. But I'd stick to the sketches lol

[QuatroDiablo]

You lazy motherfuckers.

[AndreasSudihardjo]

beat him at tic tac toe and touch him on the penis

[SaintBloody]

meh

[ItsTheSecretAsian]

Bleh

[djtron1x]

Fail. there is a way to always win at tic tac toe. go first and take three of the corners then you can prevent the other player from ever winning or win yourself depending on their moves.

[3vils3r4ph]

@djtron1x The point is if you assume the other person has perfect knowledge (meaning they've ever played before) then the game will always end in a tie. First or second, whether you go center or corner, both strategies are easily stopped and you tie.

[Pandor25]

@djtron1x Not sure if you meen the video is fail but 2 people knowing how to play will always get a draw. If you go for the 3 corner trick and oponent go for the middle for is first move, after the second corner, he will have an opening for a tic tac toe himself. so you will have to counter that scewing up your tactic or losing so ending up in a draw.

[acrichardson1]

Sudden urge to play DEFCON.

[sonicase]

lulz

[ApplePieA22]

Yeah I may be an idiot but this is going right over my head. So the computer is comparing tic-tac-toe to nuclear warfare? And because of that everyone is going to die? At least that is what I'm assuming.

[ThePsychoToaster]

@ApplePieA22 I take it you've never seen the movie Wargames?

[nutshell345]

Make the first move and...touch him on the penis?

[Genius314x]

Something different than usual? I guess I'd better hit the dislike button and unsubscribe!

[Energyone]

Joke is old and doesn't work but I guess it was a slow day.

[RupertAndCheese]

Awesome!

[ZZDaikun]

How about a nice game of poker?

[Meinberg13]

Variety is the spice of life, after all.

[MortifiedSquirrel]

@Meinberg13 And the spice must flow!

[johndoe6171]

I miss old SMBC theatre. Just not the same.

[phoneau]

Look, I am deeply in love with SMBC theater. I'm sure most of the people who watch this agree. This was even pretty funny! But the sketch comedy is millions of times better. Not like I hated this, but oh man, I really wish it had been another great sketch from a bunch of funny people. Looking forward to next week's, I guess

[Totema1]

Eh.

[badspeller101]

what hte hell just happened?

[Elolzabeth]

WTF was this? There was no Jon Brence/Zach/James/J.P.!