Stigmas within the mental health system

[Isisbridge]

Well now that you've had all that experience, you should be good at cutting videos.

[xsullengirlx]

@Isisbridge As if I am going to take a video down that was made over 2 years ago to help with someone's school project that has 10,000 views, edit it, and put it back up... Because ONE person happens not to like the length? Yeah, it's great you consider your opinion so important, but no one forced you to watch or comment. Gladly remove yourself from my channel or I will do it for you.

[Isisbridge]

You could have said all that in a tenth of the time if you'd prepared it properly.

[xsullengirlx]

@Isisbridge Well then why don't YOU prepare it and say it yourself in a tenth the time if it is such a concern to you. This was back when I wasn't as experienced in making videos, and it was a request with a lot of material to cover... If you don't like it then it's pretty easy to just move along.

[GRANDOVERLORD77]

Arent you tired yet?

[xsullengirlx]

Never.

[GRANDOVERLORD77]

Thats funny, I figured you must be tired about now, by the way youve been running through my mind.

[xsullengirlx]

lol oh really? did you get that line off a popsicle stick? :P

[systemoverloadful]

Canada is better,I live there,I've been in 3 different mental hospitals,and it is free to go there.If anybody ever needs to talk,or just needs someone to listen,don't hesitate to message me!♥

[interestingramble]

I've been disabled some way or other my whole life. They'll make you more disabled if you let them. Be careful. People will surround and attack you constantly then blame you for any reaction because you've lost control by getting help.

[andrewmanford]

you look like laura palmer...not wrapped in plastic

[LadyRpger]

Good job on expressing your feelings, the issues SI face, and bravo for being brave enough to be honest.

[I8apoptart]

youre really pritty and youre videos really help with my cutting

[colee026]

Cont. from Canada..like alcohol or drug use, it can become an addiction. It was mentioned that cutting can take place even when you are not feeling depressed. This behavior has become so much a part of you, the journey towards recovery will be difficult and challenging. You will be going against the grain of years of learned behavior. Do I think it is possible? Absolutely. You have a great deal of strength. That is vital. You would make an amazing advocate for mental health.

[xsullengirlx]

You are very right, the behavior is ingrained in people who SI from a young age sometimes, and becomes common to replace any emotions. Recovery is hard, but it is possible for anyone. It is vital to discover your emotional triggers and the root of why you do it, yes. Thank you for your positive and helpful comments, and for being open minded. It is much appreciated in a world that does not understand.

[colee026]

I am a community service worker in Canada. After watching your video, i am stunned by the lack of empathy you have had to deal with.

I am not an expert on self harm. I can only imagine the emotional pain one must feel in order to cut. Replacing emotional pain with physical pain should not be taken lightly. I could see it also being a release. Opening up ones body to bleed out the bad feelings. I agree that it is vital to discover the root of why this has become a coping mechanism.

[evakar24]

It's cruel but the truth is: you have to help yourself.

You are on your own with this.

Forget the doctors,love yourself and don't count on doctors.

They can help sometimes BUT never count on them.

[ChannelChameleon]

Good luck- my psychothery, which was very successful, was destroyed. By so called mental health doctors and therapists in another town. I have become a hermit as a result. The System stands by and watches cruelty against so called mentally ill people. The receptionist smiles and hands out appointment cards. Because its her job. Its a farce.

[hsttraindriver]

Buy "Explaining colours to a blind man". This will

enlighten many about living with mental illness.

[whippy98]

having been in treatment for BPD, i was often made to feel that Borderline was just a self-inflicted "attention-seeking" disease. i was abused and they didn't want to listen. why do doctors hate Borderlines so much?

[xsullengirlx]

I know what you mean. They treat BPD like a throwaway diagnosis, as if anyone who doesn't fit anywhere else can just be shoved into a little BPD box. Doctors find people with BPD hard to work with due to the fact that they are notoriously hard to treat, but that doesn't mean you should be judged unfairly or not listened to. I'm sorry this happened to you. Take care.

[georgestap]

You'll recover,

[stealthis]

I don't self injure (actually anything sharp or drawing blood would freak me out) but the whole "you can never recover thing" sounds like a ploy for them to make to make more money and like a contract, how they can claim "we are no responsible if"... it's like telling the patient they're the slave! "You will never get better but I'll try to help you, though if that doesn't work out, can't blame me!"

[manicjupiterflute]

I have bipolar and although I'm able to work, I would not qualify for disability. Though I've never really tried getting disability. I would definitely have to flat out lie about what I can and cannot do. Yah, you have to lie. As far as medication, I don't want to take it because I don't like the side effects. I don't like the zombie thing either. On medication, you can tell me that my best friend just died and I"ll be like, "ok, whatever, anyway..." Medication just makes you not give a dam.

[georgestap]

See this is something that has been running through my head for some time, medication, you lose your sense of reality, but when it comes down to it if reality is something you dont like, maybe the false reality is the key, yet you would be living in a world of lies.

[manicjupiterflute]

No, no, it's not that I dislike reality, I dislike getting hypomanic at times but I learn to deal with it accordingly and not let it ruin situations. I don't want medication because then I won't be able to FEEL reality. It makes me numb.

[manicjupiterflute]

It's good to talk briefly with the therapist BEFORE making appointments and seeing where they have experience in. As for telling people they're "not ready" to recover, that is bs. If you're there on your own free will, then you are ready. People who are not ready are drug addicts who still want to do drugs and are just seeing a councelor because they're required to.

[INT3RNAUT]

keep vlogging at that angle because your BOOBS make this tolerable. :)

[GIBTU15]

you're so good, you should make podcasts of these topics.

[MatlockJack]

This makes me thankful for the British NHS; at least there is a modicum of treatment for free; it seems as if America is considering the partial deployment of what they refer to as 'socialised medicine'; let's hope they do.

[HarveyRex23]

Dealing with the "profit motive and greed driven" American healthcare system as a mentally ill person is a nightmare. And the way our country deals with mental illness is tragic, and criminal in my opinion. But at least with a new President with Barack Obama in the White House. I'm a bit optimistic & hopeful that the country is headed towards the direction of having a single paying healthcare system. Perhaps Medicare for ALL. But you guys do have it made in the U.K. Compared to us.

[IAmTheTragedy]

I was told I could get free long-term counselling if i was a drug addict but as Im not I was turned away. Ive also been turned away from therapy because i wouldnt take anti-depressants again (id been on loads of types before). Its all a bit useless really. Anyway, another good video, thanks. xx

[IAmTheTragedy]

I live in the UK where we are supposed to get free healthcare but where I live there are NO long-term free counsellors at all. They see you for a maximum of 6 weeks which lets face it is pretty useless!! I now am trying to pay for counselling but in reality i cant afford it. Im sure if i lived in a big city itd be different but in this area theres no help. Theres NO support groups or anything like that. There is a psychiatric ward but thats not helpful at all.

[xsullengirlx]

I feel you. The free low/cost mental health here is about the same length, and in that time you can't even scratch the surface. There are loads of free treatments and rehabs for drug addicts, but nothing for people with mental health issues. It's really hard to deal with, I don't really know what to do either! :(

[IAmTheTragedy]

I barely tell them my name in 6 weeks! Lol. Do you find phone helplines helpful at all? I dont. They make me too uncomfortable, its weird talking to someone when you cant see their body language. Makes me paranoid!

[sweetjudgements]

You are a brave young woman to share unashamedly your history.

May the Ane Sofe/Infinite Creator Bless and Annoint you to recover what you feel will restore what you know needs restoration.

Sababa~Rejoice

As much as you can and hopefully others will be caused to be joyful from your strength and determination!!!!

Most Respectfully,

SJ

[cancerslug]

why did you start making this informative videos?

[xsullengirlx]

This specific video was a request for someone who was a student who wanted to use it for a project. In general I began making videos to just talk about my own experience with mental illness and let people know they aren't alone, & to spread awareness about mental illness to those who don't understand it.

[letmego34]

at 1:26 when ur talking about how expensive it is to go to a mental hospital....u are right...it cost $8,000-$10,000 dollars for me about 10 months ago! its redic!

[xxbrightxxstarxx]

you look really different from this now...

pretty in both ways, but just, different. =]

[RoseLoveMeOrHateMe]

i been in a mental house 6 times for self-injure and they said that i was one of the wrose cases.... the first time i came to Milwaukeen mental they knew all about it but they didn't really had any treatment... but the one in chicga i heard from a friends was a really good place... i went to day-treatment and I was in a group that was some what all about cutting. everyone one in the group si. well not everyone but a few... and it was good but i had drop out.

[deafamerican]

we need to be aware that some psychologists abuse their clients. dr john gournaris of minnesota is one example. stay away from him. he is also on national deaf academy's advisory board. we have heard a lot of bad news about him. the community remains blind to his behaviors. we need to be more aware of mental health and providers.

[Yahweh101]

I just want to say the health system in America sucks. I live in Australia and as soon as it was discovered that I was self-harming I was seeing two different councilors a week free of charge and they knew exactly what self harming was and how to treat it. They are both great and are helping me move through this and work through it.

[xsullengirlx]

Oh you are totally right, the health care system in America is awful. I am glad you were able to get the help you needed, at least SOME people in this world are being treated the way they should be :) The USA needs to take a cue from Australia on how they handle things. Do you have Universal health care there?

[Yahweh101]

Um... I am not sure what a 'Universal health care' is. In Aus we have medicare which is a government initiative which basically means we get to go to hospital and doctors, dentists, etc for a very very small amount of money or free if you can't afford it (eg pensioners or welfare people). If you go to a private practice it will cost more obviously or if you are having a procedure done. But our health system is pretty good and it is really easy to get welfare (of any kind).

[xsullengirlx]

Yeah, that is pretty much universal health care, basically it means "government run" health care, where even if you can't pay you can still get treatment. Some people are against that kind of control over health care, but I am all for it. I wish we had that kind of help available to people around here :)

[insinificante000]

i was wondering if you had an oppion or some advice on an issue im having.

i see a theropist and she thinks that making me tell her 5 to 10 good things after ive made a 'negitive' comment will help me see things better but i think that she is wasting both are times making me sit there and lie to her cause i dont really see much of anything in a positve way and of course i dont believe any word of it.

[xsullengirlx]

In a way therapists use this as a form of brainwashing. Not in the bad sense, but in the sense that they want you to retrain your brain to think positive things about yourself. I think that 5-10 good things is too much, and if she were to have you do it, once a day is plenty. Tell her your feelings and how you think it's all a lie, there's nothing productive in lying, so you should just tell her the truth. Good luck!

[insinificante000]

thanks so much, i really like you videos.

[666emeth]

emeth maens hope in latin thers hope for evryone who wants help even if its just a little bit no matter what your adiction or probelm

[awebreeze]

I can relate to this video. My daughter has been going through the ringer trying to get off medicine and get some real help for her illness. I appreciate your honesty. It helps me understand my daughter better. Thanks

[slimgirl9]

i get benfits but it not munch and i onley get it every mounths

[ferdinandlamarca]

hi im a schizo, paranoid and probably depressed. When i go into fits a scream like i was possessed and tense my arm and chest muscles. i also hit myself. then i calm down, but by then i get hurt.thanks for your help.love

[Fluffypear]

Kay... I have a request: may I re-post your vids on seperate blogs and forums (Google blogger, my webpage, Yahoo 360) to get the message out? I have nothing with which to make my own, and you have the right message going. I want to repeat this to the world, because it's all so freaking true. I recall mental health facilities... and I also recall traumatic memories from those places, mostly from forced medication... I want to show people what is wrong with medication and general mental health.

[xsullengirlx]

Of course you can. I think my videos he been posted places other than youtube before, so thank you for asking permission. If you get a chance, can you tell me where when you do repost? You don't have to, but it would be nice to see. Thanks for your support, it means a lot. If I can be of any more help, let me know :)

[Fluffypear]

I am much at reluctance to display my webpage or blog to the Youtube community... I'm not all that bravdo in the face of advertising beyond the fifty people who already view my stuff :S Still, thanks ^^ I'll leave it up to my colleagues to help advertise.

[xsullengirlx]

Understandable completely. You can repost wherever you'd like, with no obligation of telling me where. Go ahead. I was just suggesting that I am interested in where people post things, however it is not necessary. I don't want you to think that's what I meant. I meant just sending me a personal private message if you felt comfortable.. Anyway, thanks and have a good weekend :)

[Fluffypear]

Fair enough. Just in my rule book to ask permission. Cheers and have a million good weekends!

[xsullengirlx]

I know they can, you are right it is terrible.

[feedme77]

thanks for such a great video. I didn't have much insight into SI before, but after watching your videos you have really opened my eyes to both that and the mental health system. I also agree with you about the anti depressants. I was put on them by my dr to apparently 'cure' my anorexia. They just numbed me. I felt nothing.

I hope that you are well. And thanks again for a great insight.

[xsullengirlx]

Thank you for watching, and also for being so open-minded when it comes to Self Injury, especially if you haven't struggled with it before. I am glad that what I said helped you to understand, and also that you could relate. It is unfortuante when doctors just try to medicate as a "fix" for mental problems... It is something I feel strongly about. I am doing well, I hope you are too. Thanks again for watching and take care.

[Bellaella86]

I am on disablity for depression, anxiety, sudicidal and SI. I have been on it for 3 yrs. It has been a God sent. They paid my doc bill, meds, threpist, so on. I got on it when I was almost 19. I was so bad that I didn't leave the house. I get monthly benifits, Medicare and medicaid. I don't want to be on it for ever. I am studing now for a Medical Office Assistance. I wish u the best girl. U will be in my prayers and hope something comes through for u!! :)

[LillithDarkwraith]

I hate the old statement that "you are complicated" and then get the many year run around and have to go through drug trials and receive side affects from drugs that don't work. Multiple disabilities with multiple mental illness really suck too!

[SilvisRiversTWO]

Yeah this is the way to go xsullengirlx - its up to us to take this internet media now and make it belong to us in a way that makes serious criticims of the totally shite systems out there that offer ZERO and little help for people who are damaged to explore themselves and their pains and griefs with REAL empathic help...

Damn right this is the way to go .. I am going to do more about this and get others to see this so we all create more witness ..

SilvisRivers ...

[xsullengirlx]

thank you SO much for your support. We can make a difference, i know we can.

[veranichole1981]

Thank you! The reality is that there are MORE suicides ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. People make excuses such as them being disturbed BUT if the anti-depressants worked it would be proof that people who sought help and went on the drugs would NOT kill themselves! If they worked there would be more people who would be saved by going to therapy and taking their meds than people who try and help themselves.

[Chipmunkapublishing]

Don't apologise to everyone. You are really brave and people should be congratulating you. Contact me at Chipmunka and i will publish your Mental Health Story for free and support you for the rest of your life. Same goes to anyone else. Google Jason Pegler and Chipmunkapublishing and you will see that i can help you.

[deborahhg12]

I appreciate your honesty.However,I wish you had said "some counselors" rather than the global term "counselors"or "therapists".Many MH professionals are guilty of stigmatizing the people they treat.I've worked as a clinician in MH centers for 6 years and stopped cutting myself about 4 years ago.There are others.If I disclosed this I would probably lose my job.I empathize with you and with your experiences.

[xsullengirlx]

I did say many things in this video that have been taken the wrong way, I do apologize for that, because what I said was unfair and it was generalizing some people. However, I have been to MANY counselors, and I do believe when I say counselors, I only mean the ones I have encountered. I should have clarified, so thank you for pointing out that error and hopefully people will read the comments and see what you wrote, I do agree with you. Thank you for the comment

[sexiililtink]

Do you really understand your mental health you keep saying CRAZY and if you really were really aware of mental health and you are posting a video about stigmas in mental health and you say CRAZY Thats a stigma . So if you are going to post a video on stigma than make  sure you dont state word that are linked to stigma .

[xsullengirlx]

Why yes I do understand mental health. I would never personally call anyone crazy, and I don't think I am crazy. I understand the meaning and useage of that word, as well as it's implications, and I assure you I never meant for it to come across like I was supporting stigmas. This video was made on the fly for someone else, so thank you for pointing out what I missed when making it.

[sociopathicregret]

I recovered from severe, chronic depression that lasted for four years without medication and after a horrendous run in with an institution. So good luck in getting better, and I think that you really can do it because it is entirely possible.

[Chipmunkapublishing]

You are very brave. Chipmunkapublishing would like to publish your story in a book. Please contact us.

[sociopathicregret]

I've had my share of disasters with the mental health system, and it's admirable that you've come out and talked about all of this. I have my own ideas but I'm a bit tired now after getting lost on the road for two hours, but if you would like to talk on msn or aim message me.

[brittanyxxx]

OMG, YOU GO, GIRL! When I was being admitted to a psychiatric hospital, my parents' insurance wasn't going to intitially cover my stay because they didn't think it was necssary. They basically rationalized (if that's what you wanna call it) that because I wasn't trying to commit suicide, I didn't need to go in-patient! So we actually had to kinda/sorta fib and say that I had suicide on my mind several times while cutting!

[saraNwonderland]

i love your hair :) its really pretty.

[PalisBee]

Man this makes me glad AI live in Canada. While my experiences weren't perfect at all,n I do think the people I've delt with saved my life, and I've never paid for anything.

[libralv8]

gurl u said it all Keep it yup your the best on here

[xsullengirlx]

thank you, it means a lot to hear that :)

[libralv8]

No Problem. I totally understanf you. Man this self injury thin isnt easy to deal with, but i guess we have too take it a day at a time. Take Care

[roxygal48]

miss ur videos!

[DXborderline]

I might be going to SAFE next month.... You should apply for SSDI and get medicare, medicaide, ect. Medicare is paying for my SAFE alternatives stay.

[xsullengirlx]

would you be opposed to chatting with me more about that in private messages? or, you can hit me up on MSN if you have it: taystygress at hotmail

[libralv8]

i dont have msn:( have aol? or yahoo messenger

[bellaladonna]

I like your extensions, they are very cute.

[Crazysigrrl]

You have an amazing ability to capture what you are trying to say in these videos. I just came back from SAFE Alternatives, which is in Texas now, and I had the ability to go to a treatment center. I am so inspired you have the gumption to get well without the mental health system. It seems things are very primitive in your part of the country., I wish you well and to keep on talking you make me feel better.

[CompanionableIlls]

I did have a therapist however, who did understand self injury at least at the lowest level. She even suggested that I don't quit smoking as she knew that if I did, my cutting would increase due to the lack of another coping mechanism. They too often equate SI with BPD so they don't want to deal with it. It's a vicious cycle.

[CompanionableIlls]

I was diagnosed as schizoaffective depressive type with ptsd (I also self injure), and involuntarily committed (I've been hospitalized about 7 times in the past 3 years), and yet I still don't somehow qualify for disability. To be honest,the mental health system is a joke.

[morningglorywine]

My take on mental health care is that the main thing is to get into the bottom of your behavious whether it's an addiction or an illness. Using a coping mecanism instead of cutting at first might help someone like an transition step from SI to no SI.

[marykeniger]

I would like to see somebody with your energy and commitment

driving the changes that are needed in the mental health

system.

THank you for being brave enough to share your experiences.

My very best wishes for recovery.

Love Mary xxx

[marykeniger]

I wonder if you have considered training to be a counsellor

yourself? I don't know if you would feel comfortable doing

that if you do not consider yourself recovered, but I can

imagine you would have an awful lot to offer.

You seem to be a very compassionate person and one who

understands the issue of self injury better than somebody

who has never done it ever could.

[amepinhead]

Ah that sucks. Makes me glad I live in the UK where all health care is free and as I live in Wales I even get free dental care til the age of 25...America should do this definately. Yup! x

[zvezda333]

I am so happy you made a video :) Please keep making videos, you are such an inspiration and such a beautiful person!

[xsullengirlx]

thank you sweetheart, it means a lot to know you're watching! xox