Added: 1 year ago
From: jpmetz
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  • Oh god. I totally appreciate the guys who are like "NO FAT CHICKS". And I WANT to hate the guys who don't respond, but I have not responded several times. And I did flip out at this guy who was all "I read your profile..." and he was everything I SPECIFICALLY SAID I DIDN'T WANT! "Hell no. You did NOT read my profile, because IF YOU HAD..."

    I hate online dating. Bleh.

  • I tried some dating sites. I'm not really ready to date, so I did the free ones. But I did meet some interesting people...

  • TAKE THE GUM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH

  • nope you're just ugly

  • I agree... I'm still single even though I've been on a dating site for years..

  • exactly

  • GOD JPMETZ MARRY ME THEN!!!! Oh shit im gay... MARRY ME ANYWAYS.

  • I hate online dating sites. About 90% of the women out there are fucking losers. They bitch and whine of how they can't find a nice guy, when there are tons of them right in front of them! Women don't want nice guys, they want assholes to treat them like shit. At least there are some women who can admit that they want the bad boys. At least I can respect these women for being honest.

  • @Justinfh2point0 Your right but to me it seems the younger woman I estimated ages 18-25 want the assholes and the older women ages 26 and up seem to be tired of being treated like shit and are desperate enough to settle down with anyone. My advice would be either turn into an asshole and get the younger woman or target older women such as Cougars meeeeeooowwwwww!

  • You're the bees knees. : )

  • My brother is convinced our 17YO sister has been targeted by a local ‘Muslim rape gang’. I think this is nonsense (she’s just promiscuous), but he’s set about gaining ‘revenge’ in an appalling way.

    He’s signed up to several Muslim dating sites, posing as a convert. Once alone with the woman, he shouts “Behold the fake prophet!”-& lifts up his shirt to reveal a big tattoo of Mohammed. This deeply offensive image has a twisted, cruel-looking face & is clutching his penis in masturbatory pose.

  • I think mindless orb drones are cute tho :) Match - com? They need to support lesbians & gays!!! If they do that maybe they'd not suck.

  • "Me heart is closed, business hours only". This is what I will tell people now when they try to pile that nonsense on me

    

  • Finding someone is extreemly hard anywheres..

  • I joined one of those dating websites once. Seems most of the people are looking for Knights and Princesses on there. I got no matches because I put down my actual yrly income and none of the skanks wanted anything to do with me. Oh and yes I was one of the Losers who is older and has 2 kids from a previous marriage, so I guess that counts me out. All you skanks will die alone with no one.

  • LOL! You crack me up! Thanks for that.  I'm subscribing right now. Can't wait to watch more.

  • it sucks because youre fucking ugly.

  • @sunshinedust8 It's funny cause you're fucking stupid :|

  • All my girlfriends were found on dating websites. I chose women who didn't speak with gum in their mouths and didn't complain ALL THE TIME!

  • FYI.....chicks who "take care of themselves" are those chicks who are actually just high maintenance....maybe they workout, eat right, but they stay at the hair and nail salon getting stuff waxed, dyed, fried and laid to the side run to the tanning salon all the time....and stay at stores getting makeup, face/body products and outfits to look good...

  • totally agree! 

  • I just hate online dating all together. I have tried just about every single website,and I have gotten nowhere with any of them. It seems like people are really shallow on those kind of websites and the whole thing is just stupid anyway. I'm so glad I'm done with it. It only hurt me more because I was just so unwanted and out of place.

  • I think we may be the same person. Two minutes before watching this video I was plucking my own friggin mustache.

  • you are so fucking funny

  • Well I met a guy online 6.5 yrs ago. Of course we were friends first, but then I was like "Screw this, you ARE going to be my boyfriend!" Needless to say it's 6.5 yrs later & we're married w/ 2 kids. Aggressive works...lol

  • thing is I'm pretty fit and need someone to keep up aside from the fact I find fit chicks a lot more attractive. I'm honest and up front about it and don't apologize and get heavily criticized by a couple of female coworkers about being shallow. Well they slip up all the time when surfing the web and whatnot and comment all the time about how this or that guy is fugly. Fact is women can be just as hung up on looks, they just aren't as honest about it as guys.

  • I'm 39 weeks pregnant and I laughed so badly it gave me contractions lol, I'll subscribe my baby to your channel

  • Your hair is very pretty!

  • JP YOU FUCKIN ROCK

  • Dont join dating websites then and get off your fat ass and get out and meet some real people! If you dont like them then whats the chances the men online are gonna be better? Theyre just like real people except too lazy to go out and meet people!

  • ....go lesbian?

  • The online dating formula is as follows:

    Girl posts inappropriate pics of herself in her profile/begging for attention + girl messages the guy first + girl gives out her number first + girl complains about being sick of dating assholes + a couple messages back in forth between the guy and her - guy is not good enough for girl/guy is too good for girl = girl complaining about there not being any nice guys out there anymore/all men suck

    I'm pretty sure that's the correct equation.

  • Women need to stop being hypocrites and be more assertive, and stop blaming men for shit and put the "ball in their court" half the time. (maybe you wouldn't be alone?) I can't stand girls who are like that. They annoy the fuck out of me. Also there's nothing wrong with wanting a girl who takes care of her body. I would never date someone who ate junk food and sat on her ass all the time (can you say "blow up after the first kid"?) Grow up.

  • @GeneralHoohah Of course man, it's like can't you see a pattern here? If they look way overweight now, wait til 10 years later after having 2 kids. I have a few friends from college who got married right after college and their wives looked really good. Then 5 years later they gained like 20 pounds and stopped trying to look healthy and decent. Just by the woman being more assertive, the guy will notice a little bit more of her potential attractive qualities.

  • wannafuck?

  • match.com SUCKS

  • I just a bald middle aged man with a big nose. D:

  • plenty is free!!

  • try plenty of fish..i met my fiance on this site 1yr 4 months ago...im getting married to him in less than 2 weeks

    on this site you can do advanced search for race, jobs, relationship status...

  • @INSIDEOFMYSELF aw congrats!

  • whats MS?

  • @anitam202 multiple sclerosis

  • jpmetz .. will you please let me into your sacred temple of learning?

  • I understand why you didn't have much luck on a dating site, there wouldn't be many people who can stand being so inferior. There just aren't enough men on the same level.

  • i think shes on zoosk xD

  • @CraftLoverr LOL Its match.com she said unnamed matched.com website

  • JPMETZ IS TOO GOOD FOR DATING WEBSITES!!!

  • I use a penpal program called interpals (which isn't a dating site) and my profile picture is a drawing I drew.. and SOME GUY THINKS THATS ME!! I like girls who "takes care of themselves" but I don't care if your fat or not, I care if your clean!

  • My father has MS, My mom has Diabetes. I am 99% sure to get one or both, but I wouldn't mind getting MS for Justine :D

  • Go on Girls Date for Free.....men have to pay hahhaha

  • Did you punch the walls?

  • haha I joined, now cancelled, one of the first guys to wink at me said he was 30, but really more like 60, his great chat up line was 'I can come meet you, I have a free bus pass' Sexy!!!

  • Match .com has literally ruined my life. My mom met some asshole on the site and she forced my brothers and I to MOVE IN with him . They've only known eachother for 4 months and we already moved. He thinks he's my dad.

  • Honestly, I'm very curious which online dating sites you have been on (and yes I know there are a lot of sucky ones.) Look at webseducer (you can find him on youtube) he has a bunch of replies so it CAN work. But again, I'm curious on which dating sites you have been (if you don't want to say it here in the comment section, please send me a private).

  • @laurentdn I might be wrong, but I think it's zoosk because you can "Wink" but again I might be wrong!

  • You have MS? That's a really dangerous disease! Are you recovering or... what?

  • Psh.......I don't know of any guys who would even consider dating a fat chick.....-.- why are you guys so complicated, I'm trying my best......gosh.! I "Psh" at you..basterds..! (~~;)

  • I sympathize 101% with your dating site woes I've had a million of my own and I like your ending of this video where you were talking about the open heart crap "business hours only" :)

  • Jesus can walk on water.

    JMPETZ can swim on land.

  • I watch your videos when i should be "taking care of myself" Guess i wouldnt have much luck on that asshat site!

  • What're "not ready" or "fear of commitment" assholes doing on a serious dating site anyways? What the fuck? Good luck finding the man of your dreams

  • Online dating is something you shouldn't DOOO :{ lol

    you should date meee, im coooler than ur friend RWJONSON lol :)

  • "I'm just looking for friends at the moment...... as long as you're not fat, old or asian." What!?

  • "I'm just looking for friends at the moment.... as long as they're not fat, old kr ask

  • zwink

  • If I leave an uneducated hate comment then say something nice at the end will the magical Jpmetz respond to me?

  • I joined a couple also. bloody hell. All the guys look the same. They all are taken with an iphone in the mirror mostly without a shirt. Boring

  • Whats MS, manly syndrome?

  • @feornhanor You're not funny.

  • finally some originality on you tube!!

  • haha

  • i love this

  • is she a comedian this seemed less like a rant and more of a bit

  • @TheUglyPaperBagMan Jpmetz is better than a comedian my friend .v_v

  • I hate online dating to haha I loved your point about tthere needing to have a button to filter out the commitment phobic men, but thatd wipe out about 95% im sure

  • at least my online dating website is free

  • Hahaha pretty sure this is Match.com, which is a scam. They tell you you have all these winks and profile views, when really you don't, they just want you to buy a membership so you can see them. Then you join and there's not 80 views, there's like 3.

  • Oh my god. I hate online dating too. It sucks! You're hilarious.

  • I watch videos and comment to show my love for you and give you money. ; ;

  • i did that too! but be careful because they'll "conveniently" renew your subscription without asking. and i ended up paying like 400 dollars over time until i finally realized it!!

  • oh my god i love you! 

  • wooooow hate comments are hilarious, you people have nothing better to do then to try to bring others down. I know that this is the generic 'why can't we all just get a long' comment, but seriously guys, why don't you start by fucking your own hand when you feel like spewing hate where ever you can. You're scared little pussies that probably can't yell at a baby in real life, let alone tell someone off to their faces. What I'm trying to get at is either put a gun in your mouth or get a life. :)

  • Was it Zoosk.com?

  • facebook is free you cunt

  • @nonglotter -Hey man, fuck you! If jpmetz wants to join a dating site, she bloody well can! Now STFU cunt! Also, Facebook is the worst place to find love.

  • @akv1984 fuck you too fatties lover go fuck whale

  • Perfect, as usual.

  • No creepy fetishes? /Heartbreak

  • Any guy would be lucky to be with you! (when I say lucky, I mean the "I LOVE YOU" lucky, not the "Oh yeah baby! Don't stop!"...lolz

  • I kind of love you, like a lot, you sarcastic bitch<3

  • HAhahaha I love you :)

  • Oh thank God she did something with that hair. It looks good.

  • @gtasahomo screw you!!!!! my hair is always great. ass

  • @jpmetz Haha nice. Lol

  • @jpmetz PLEASE CALL ME AN ASSHAT!!!!!!! IT WILL MAKE MY LIFE!!!!!!

  • @jpmetz lol

  • Comment removed

  • I think I have joined the same site as you! The first guy that emailed me said " I can meet you.....we can go on a date....I have a free bus pass........your hot!" So now we are married, first child on the way!

  • Yeah, it's probably not (only) the site- just guys in general. And I also have a mustachio. That was real nice in junior high.

  • i too pluck

  • I love the term "Take care of yourself." Guys are fucking ignorant!

  • @samanthuudee How do u know?

  • Sorry to bother, but what is MS?

  • Watching videos and commenting. That actually is all I do on the internet. Never realized how sad that was until you pointed it out. XD

  • what happened to your nose at 4:42

  • @omgeisha OMG THAT SCARES ME O_O

  • @omgeisha are you that stupid ? LOL she was holding a mirror and it was the reflection off the mirror LOL wow

  • @omgeisha Glitch in her camera for a second

  • My heart is closed!.. Business hours only >:[

  • I think I can give you insight about the people who are winking at you, with... a free profile. They're cheap, and probably creepers - XD you don't want them anyway!

  • I have found that nnless you can honestly post a picture that looks like a supermodel, dating websites are an excersize in hurting your own feelings!

    :(

  • ii meant o send this as a pvt msg but u have that blocked sooo here goes :im really sorry to hear about your flood and i will keep u and your purse collection in my prayers. THAT BEING SAID: ihated them too untill i found okcupid .com. its where i met my current bf. its FREE and it is survey style!

  • all you do is answer quizzes like the ones on f.b and it generates and matches your answers to guys like you that would like you. its really intense (questions like do you believe ppl with low i.qs should be able to procreate?) i hope this helps a lil in your search for love ..and if not the quizzes r still pretty distracting and a good way to spend hours not thinking about sewer water.

  • It's zoosk.

  • no joke! that un"match"ing website.com does suck!!!

  • I gotta say~

    My sister follows you and I love watching you rant and banter about this place we call home. Its like pillow talk after sex, accept we skip the sex (which kinda sucks). Keep doing what you do you beautiful woman!

  • @LadyAdokenai that's great!!!

  • hey, I met a guy on OKCupid 2 years ago. we're moving in together in June. :D

  • you defenitly, outshine the hell out of that sun behind you, wink wink ;)

    

  • This site your describing.....Manhunt

  • If I were straight, i'd be first in line to date you. Those internet chods can suck my left nut :p

  • MONEY MONEY MONEY COMMENT

    :)

  • There is nothing wrong with fluffy girls

  • AH!! I love you so much!!! I watch your vids when im sad or angry and BAM, im happy again :) your so funny!!

  • I tried a free dating website that had a really extensive questionnaire, I wasn't picky with what I wanted in a person. I didn't have any matches. That's right, I'm too freaking unique for the internet despite not even caring about gender.

    They matched you with non-paying losers to give them hope.

  • Cant wait to meet you :) Thanks for replying

  • 142 dollars :0 ........ those guys better be hot!

  • hey can someone tell me what is ms exactly?

  • what does MS do??

  • Hey doll, I just thought you would enjoy a comment from someone who can freaking spell. MS sucks balls and I was curious about what interferon or whatever you take and when was your last relapse? Send me a message,lady. Have a good day.

  • why not date soundly awake? cuz hes ur bff? or hes gay?

  • With the non-paying members, it makes you think, "Hm, you can't pay for this site to contact me, but you want to go on a date?" Nice...real nice loser guy.

  • I so know this site..the only site that lets un-paid members wink. I'm so gonna re-do my account to find Jpmetz ahhh.

  • I, too, have signed for a SIMILAR LOVE website. 60 bucks dowwwn the drain.

    So underwhelmed. We'll see what happens.

  • so oyu are Whining about guys "winking" you without subscribe?

    have you ever thought that people ashamed of being on a dating site...?

    i mean

    you are sitting in your home Whining about stuff...

    wanna date? go OUTSIDE!!!

    wanna help the world? donate!

    but dont Brag about donating!

    its lame

    like guys bragging about sex

  • I could've sworn I saw you in Manhattan the other day with some guy it was on 59th and 5th I think I was going to say "JP METZ" but I didn't wanna look crazy. Close by Trump tower and the Apple store.

  • thumbs up if you want jpmetz to do a review of Rebecca Black's Friday video... I CAN'T WAIT

  • You're amazing and beautiful and freaking funny. You're soo much better than unnamedlovewebsitewhererandomu­nregisteredmemberscancreepandw­inkatyou.creep (:

  • PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, make a video making fun of rebecca blacks video "friday" i will hate you forever if you did

  • I'm pretty sure it's OBC.

  • MS is cure-able, go through everything you eat and throw away everything with the ingredient "acpertane" in it, usually it is in chewing gum, diet sodas, gummy candies etc a neighbor tried it because there really is no harm, cured her severe MS in 3 months

  • guys are douches JP. You're baller and will find someone eventually

  • AW Justine! I'm sorry you have MS. How long have you had it? and how far has it progressed? I have a friend who was diagnosed with MS and she has already hit the constant seizure stage. My biggest hugs to you!

  • JPMETZ isn't big. The rest of the world is just disproportionate.

  • can you do a video making fun of rebecca black's "friday" it's just too awful not to make fun of

  • This italian doctor his name is Dr. Zamboni(weird last name) found a cure that might work fer u. He did a surgery that unblocks blood flow from the brain nd he did it on 65 patients and two years after 73% percent have symptoms. U shud look it up

  • I learn so much for your videos. :D

  • You need a tumblr.

  • Comment removed

  • 6 people liked her comment that her house was flooded with sewage...interesting.

  • i like the accessive use of damn lol

  • Silently judging others since 1972

  • @StorytimewithAlex if that was on a shirt id buy a million of them

  • pure awesomeness

  • Comment comment comment.

  • my mom has ms too. i'm walking for her at the end of the month(:

  • My older sister has MS and I'm walking for her in April!

  • this wasnt in my sub box -_-

  • I love you Justine, I'm sorry about the flooding!! :(

  • There's no one who could ever be good enough for you Justine... unless there was a clone of you out there somewhere.

  • 1. Why don't you just wash your clothing?

    2. how the hell did stuff like your computer get affected? Do you keep ALL of your possessions on the floor? Wtf?! Was this flood like 5 feet deep? I don't get it.

  • my mother has ms so i understand how difficult that can be. so i'll walk thinking of you too:)

  • god damnit!! your videos have caused me to realize that I need better bladder control.. cuz I laugh really hard and my insides get all shook up and i pee a little... imma start doin kegels more.. shit! rly?! I'm only 22!

  • My mom has MS, she has had it for almost 2 years now, so I know what you mean when you say it sucks. : /

  • PLENTY OF FISH !