Chuck Norris facts read by Chuck Norris

[6586shadow]

If chuck Norris was real then

AAAHH!!_{{+}*¥{¥{|¥|£|!-|*|~+{­+~'hslskfidjxjdldlkffklgpqp;49­29585902:&&,&;&;&(8;

HELP ME CHUCK NORRIS IS HERE!!!383949(@:&:&:&;@5@5@5@5­.

*dies while soaked in blood*

[superman1113215]

RIP 183 people

[AyJay2303]

if chuck norris is such a badass then hed come to my house right now and smash my head into my keyboarkdhgjngjsdnfhjdfn

[JyroFilms]

Why does everyone love Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris beat the world. Bruce Lee beat Chuck Norris.

[CptFuji]

Chuck Norris pushes all the planets into orbit with his penis.

Bruce Lee came the Galaxy out his penis.

God wasn't satisfied with either, so he did both.

[amsfan37]

183 people are going to get a visit from Chuck Norris!

[OGRUNERFUL]

The ring:: you'll die in 7 days

Chuck:: yes' this is chuck norris

The ring:: oh crap sorry I think I got the wrong number!

[MultiTatasky]

chuck norris's cock stays hard even after doing sex 100 times.

[XBestZombieX]

Chuck norris makes porn for the blind

[CFsoldier95]

when chuck norris steps on a claymore chuck norris doesnt blow up.....the claymore gets chucknorris

[deadguy718]

*cough* Chuck Norris is old and weak *cough* *Coughs up blood* uh oh

[babydyante]

Chuck Norris doesn't swim water just wants to be around him.

[TheCJdawg]

When Chuck Norris left The Virgin Islands, they were just called The Islands

[zhiraxx80]

Chuck norris throws grenade and kills 50 people Then grenade explodes...

[JamesJonathon013]

Chuck Norris has a website. It's called the internet.

[MrCf2011]

Chuck Norris can divide by 0

[Zer0Intelligence]

"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down."

It's too bad this is true for anyone. PHYSICS BITCHES.

[snake2065]

no one made his facts chuck noirrs made his facts

[Ch3wyTadpol3]

Chuck Norris is so tough, he lost to Bruce Lee In the "Enter the Dragon" fight

[TheUndertakerIsWWE]

#4, #2, and #1 were the funniest

[RamonSherwood]

Death had a near Chuck Norris experience!

[ToxicBoxMedia]

Revision of #8 Chuck Norris punched his way out of the womb...Hencing the name C-Section

[gtwnrepn]

Chuck Norris doesnt get Sun Burn, the Sun gets Chuck Norris burn....

[BluPantaloni]

After creating the Universe, Chuck Norris decided to masturbate and created the Milky Way.

[TheSynyster1996]

just change wikipidea's name to chuckapedia... that will scare the shit out of the founder of SOPA

[MMPPkiocks]

its chuck norris??!! nope chuck testa! :D

[imafreemanfornow]

STOP ACTA we need chuck to punch the government until it is stopped!

[ExtinctionFoxx]

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow!

[imsuperawsome100]

chuck norris threw a gernade and killed 80 ninjas after the gernade blew up.

[thellt1]

chuck norris isnt a god. he couldnt magically appear out of nowhere and OSHT

fdsfdfsadfSAFS

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SFfsa r̸̡͑͂ͭ̃̾ͭ̔̈́̌͗͛ͤ̋ͮ̒̍̀̚͏͔͇̰̩̭̫̪́­̭̥̤͍̳͙̤̳ë̵̮̫̤̮̩̗̞̹͗̑ͩ̊̏͜pͪ̄̑̒­̸̯͇̼̝͎̺̺̰͉̠͍̉̍͛ͤ̈ͩ͂̒ͭ̀͜͝ͅrͥ̽̃̂­̡̊̈́̐̉͂̽ͥ̿̇ͩͤ̊̾ͧ͢҉̵͏̦͍̪̠͇̣̣͍̦ͅe­̱̻͕̦̭̜̩̳͔̟̒̂̂̔̾̈̂ͤ̓͘͠s̴͓͎̜̅͆ͮ̎­̰͖͓̟̯̬̝̣͚ē̐ͫ̈ͩ͂͌͌ͦͫͥ̋͑ͧ̏̑́̀҉̢­̡̖̭̪̝̝̳̠̟̩̬̻̯͍̩̘͈̳͓̪nͩͥ̿̆̒ͦͣ̂́­̢̙͖͔͎̹̥̙̗̞̩̣͎ͯͦͪ̓ͫͫ͌̽͆̀̕t̍̋ͮ́͞­̸̞̝͓̺̬̘̣̮̝̱͙̖̬í̧̢̛͒̽ͩ̐̈́̓ͮ̋̊̋͢­̷͚̣̭̣̞̮͇̹̠͇̤͈ͅͅn̵͍̫̔͆͒̈́̏̅́̀͜͝ͅ­̣̩͎̘̗̪͍̬͚ĝ̸͗͂̐͋̇̂̾͂̒͊͞͏̸̭̣̣̠́­̙͕̰̞̣̹̬̗̱͉ ̢̭̣̤̳̯̗̪̓͗̉̇̒̊ͮ̎̏̓̍̆c̳͚͆ͤ̔ͦ͂́͜­̠̖̗̖͙͖̺̹̻͎hͫ͑͌͋̈̾̈́͆̍...

[juann0010]

Chuck Norris is so cool he lost his virginity before his dad!!LMAO

[WatchKelvin]

The 182 dislikes were from people who were allowed to live by Chuck Norris, because they wouldn't even get the chance to click it otherwise.

[ezelectro1]

Chuck norris doesn't wait around to listen to dub step,

he makes his own on a triangle

[highwind153]

if chuck norris really was the great he wouldve killed me before i even had the time to finish this comme

[TheTalhadesai]

THE ARROW TOOK CHUCK NORRIS TO THE KNEE

[OnHighCloud]

chuck norris doesn't vote for president, he just chooses an applicant to be his assistant

[OnHighCloud]

Chuck Norris knows your comment, even before you type it.

[jessie74]

Stop the Chuck Norris bullshit. He's just a right-wing idiot that tries to sell his exercise equipment to fat people watching late night TV.

Chuck Norris is a right-wing pussy who pushes Christian Theocracy.

[Lumberjackpirate1]

oh come on! chuck norris is just a stupid actor! if he was that good he would come to my house and rub my face in my keybofaqergdzljha auhv jkag f uhfagv'vfhub

[nutcornstudios5]

Some of the chuck Norris jokes are true... I may be dead soon...

[dark11er]

Chuck Norris is a joke

[22fortifier]

chuck norris is stupid i bet you any money if he was here rite now i would OMG HES HE*(*$H*ODUHFNYGBRHG*(QHFNOYFH­*(Q)CU(J&(BHNOfh947gbvnoufhae9­fyghjcuegf79h49ugioybteysf87ho­vnrwfgu38h3ygf9v7rf87yhr0fafg8­b8uh9rgg93

I'm Chuck Norris, and I approve this pwnage...

[Aivariox482]

all the 181 dislikes are dead

[devilboyphantom]

Chuck Norris is so tough when he sits on the takes a dump the toilet SHITS itself

[velvetguitar95]

That keyboard joke is shit, HOOO;BVOOOOLLLLYYY SSHHITTT!!!! ivbIWVBKJ\BVLBVKDSFVB\S.B;VJDV­B'OLBOobIYVIV;jVH;DV///CD//SC/­S.VS.S,MCBVIK11111111111111111­11111111111111111 This is Chuck Norris! STFU or this will happen to you. Tell the world.

[brocka54]

i once challenged chuck norris to a war in MW2...he killed me 207 times stabbed me 197 times and tactical nuked me...hell i havent even finished putting the game in yet...:D

[HowManyAsians]

chuck norris is a nice guy, but he's not tough at all. I mean, if he was REALLY that tough, then he would come to my house, and smash my face on my keyboard. He is alolihlJksDFVLUFEA LAKUSDVVLKFNASAULSYBFRZ;JSDGVB­F V;HADVJZLDKJHVFVDBLHASBGKSSKJE­RHBBLKGHS

[ZOMBIEDANCEx]

Ghosts gather around the campfire and tell

Chuck norris stories

[DorgabekovMunir]

Chuck Norris rules!!!

[Ingloriusperson]

One time Chuck Norris was bitten by a rattle snake after 2 weeks of pain the snake died

[3l6uat3]

chuck norris this....and chuck norris that...

FUCK CHUCK NORRIS!

hes just a stupid actor!

If he is a god, he will come to my house and slam my head to the keyboardhjuunyygtfrdfghyuj7huy­jnnygfv g jvfirouviruvchjrebk

[lifehouseDs]

legend

[GhostonIine]

1 time I said that chuck norris sucks online.... 2 minutes after I got a major virus.

[pwnshot22]

CMON, sereously. chuck norris is just some stupid actor! if he was realy that good

he would come to my house and slam my face on the keyboar/'kps[annfgw[rocgnamnsg­npaiuw4bv28by2vb8v n;asdbabbf bfspidgbisbSsvava

agia

asfavsiigvr

[MrSmokeymacbongwater]

chuck Norris doesn't jizz his pants his pants jizz on him

[B5B33M4N]

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

[MrSFTU]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

[GardenHillislandlake]

@MrSFTU you mean chuck norris had sex with his sperm sister inside chucks dad nutsack?..... SICK!!!

[XcrazyX10]

Chuck Norris can bite his own ear! :O

[888Nevermore]

Chuck Norris doesn't masterbate he rapes his hand.

[jameson540]

its not about how great or shitty chuck is, the jokes are just funny, either go with it or stop giving these videos more hits, if you are actually upset

[jameson540]

chick norris doesn't get addicted to drugs, drugs get addicted to chuck norris

[Delta18314]

Chuck Norris once stayed for a weekend at the Virgin Islands... right after he left, the name was changed to Islands.

[Shadower645]

Chuck norris' birth name was Switchblade Killingsworth, he later changed it to Chuck Norris because it sounds tougher.

[asdfjkc]

imagine if Chuck Norris was asian o_O

[hoolioscoolios]

he seems kinda like toby from the office

[Rorylfc3]

Jesse Ventura would kick Chuck Norris' ass

[AndrewsProduction100]

Chuck norris is fake, if he were real, he would slam my head into my keyborffgsrghvgedwrrfdeyugoing­oeigrno[eribg[erg

[gilowadept]

@AndrewsProduction100 nice that you copied the topcommenct... dumbfag :p

[NBAfan91]

BANG!

[zeddzz21]

best chuck norris fact HE GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY BRUCE LEE and lost some chest hairs in the process lol

[FuckTheLawNiggas]

stop the chuck norris shit and stfu, he was never that good anyway.. retarded americans

[coolravi2]

when chuck norris gets stabbed the knife bleeds not him

[FireFish1243]

The law of conservation of mass states Matter can neither be created or destroyed unless chuck norris is involved.

[iTzSoCkO]

my girlfriend said that this video sucked

shes single now

Just kidding hahaha

She's dead

[TheStarcraftStalker]

@iTzSoCkO fail

[GePPeTTooRIVER]

dino

[GePPeTTooRIVER]

Chuck Norris skipped a rock in the Gulf of Mexico, We know it as the extinction of the dinsoars...

[187onaPigeon]

I would be so proud if my Chuck Norris fact was on that list... props to the ones who made up those, I already know them for so long lol.

[MrBiigBB]

Chuck Norris once shot a German fighter plane with his finger by yelling ''Bang''!! :D:D

[djmoron242]

@MrBiigBB lol funny

[BHuang92]

When Chuck Norris was told of an arrow to the knee joke, he puts the knee back to the arrow.

[BHuang92]

In Stars Wars Episode I, the reason the sith came back is because Chuck Norris left.

[iProSource]

Chuck norris dosen't go swimming - water just wants to be around him.

[sircris2000]

that cow is probably dead now

[xenocider64]

guys, the chuck norris keyboard face smash is old. everyone knows he's veryvgaygglfarhysshjbddvxzb.l.­//..ydggdhkiy664tn76tri./,,mly­gdyug FUCK, HELP MEHXXHBFHHGDGHVHHBGJGDTGG NOOOOOOOO! GFHMFFFkjfgbfjkhrgyvdtff

[FunnyCats582]

omg chuck norris is 71!!!!

[TheRalphofBlackops]

I am sick of these chuck Norris jokes if chuck Norris is so great I would like for him to slam my face in the keyboard right now wdufuhrfuvbuhrbvuhnuinfciuniro­fvineoitnviuneoineucyiebgiunrt­iurtnvuyrtnviundciunwdiucnrfni­vfuhrtiv

[veus007]

chuck norris get annoyed by waiting time to download at megaupload,see what happen to the site now

[theantiquegarage]

Chuck Norris won the Daytona 500 on a Segway.

[blackopscrazy1000]

He ha

[777serialkiller]

When chuck norris crosses the road, the cars have to look on both sides.. :p

[DotKritic]

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up...HE PUSHES FREEDOM DOWN!!!!!

[GoKuVeGeTaGoHaN]

One of the first videos I remember watching here about 6 years ago and it's still EPIC!

[koneretcrew]

Ahh come on! Chuck Norris just an actor! If he was real he would come to my house and smack my head on the keyboarhsksuwbwhdjdjdjciejepwj­wusufodowhowpqlanxozmsudmsishs­ni+28#("-27j6b6fr+'%8f&4j%h5 +& -*%hd hydhkjvh

[frabjousraz]

@koneretcrew Real original comment considering the top comment has been there since 2 days ago..

[AdversMusic]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits with a pillow under his gun

[frabjousraz]

@AdversMusic Chuck Norris doesn't need a gun.

[baller111385]

chuck norris endores Newt instead of Ron Paul........ guess he isn't as amazing as I thought.

[meandmylittlebuddy]

chuck norris beat a wall at bloody knukels

[goodygoody23]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 4 missed calls from Chuck Norris

[Alonelypie]

How would they know his tears cure cancer if he never cries?

[frabjousraz]

@Alonelypie exactly :l

[laughterallowed]

why the fuck is there a dislike button?

[sacradelightproducts]

Fuck you chuck. There goes your supporters...

[Blizeful]

Ron Paul like a boss. Chuck Norris like a noob.

[EDGEacc]

Ron Paul>Chucky dude

[MrKiller9190]

chuck norris walk thro fier without geting burned(grammer)

[MedicPoliceFire]

every night, the boogy man checks his closet for chuck norris

[SuperSonsofpitches]

Chuck Norris once heard 'nothing could kill him' so tracked nothing down and killed it!

[Vinselator]

BEAR GRYLLS WOULD EAT CHUCK NORRIS

[RickyPrescott]

@Vinselator But what if, Bear just drank his pee?..

[Blink182DAWGZ]

You guys and Chuck Norris are both so stupid, if Chuck Norris was a god, than he would come into my house and smash my head into the keyborp;lkdfkafladhfld3p;jldd;­f ;fd asjfljmbmb

[timetomakeauturn]

great video

[TheTranceOHolic]

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land

[Krabbo7]

If i have 10 dollar, then i give you 5 dollar and chuck norris 5 dollar.

Chuck norris have more money than you

[DerpSoldierMC]

Chuck Norris once had a gun, he pulled the trigger, he killed 70 people. Then the bullet came out of the barrel.

[10KingGaming]

Thumbs up if you like this collection of jokes:

Chuck Testa took an arrow to the knee, but Chuck Norris took a 360 leeroy jenkins to the face.......Over 9000 times!

[ronaldinho80ism]

oh comee on!!! chick norris is just an actor!! if he was god he would come to my house and slam my head on the keyboarrddiiofrsnfosvfn;svnsvf­nsfvnesvlidsnrvluiserbvne;oinv­he;roinvh;oisnvlisevhbeoipsahb­fnvrevubse;obvneo;psrnvejsvnr;­senrv;osievnsre;vinhe;vns;vnie­wsfenhs'fnvews' kiwhj0foms[wuhefugxyrgcn[ufrji­omhgshm

[viper1659]

@ronaldinho80ism you still manages to press the post button haha after all those slams? ur rly a godlike :p

[TheRandomSHiFT]

@ronaldinho80ism Well done browsing 9gag. You are very original.

[vecuccio]

@ronaldinho80ism Hey are you using this joke on EVERY Chuck Norris video ?

[JW637ify]

ZEN RIDDLE/CHUCK NORRISS JOKE. Chuck Norris wasn't born by his parents but he had his parents for the sol purpuse of having chuck norris.

[FPSToronto]

honestly FUCK CHUCK NORRIS he supports SOPA. anyone who supports sopa is bad

[NATB100]

@FPSToronto Chuck Norris doesn't support SOPA, SOPA worships Chuck Norris

[mansoldworld]

If you have 10 dollars and Chuck Norris have 10 dollars , Chuck Norris have more dollars than you do!

[Itselektric69]

The dovahkiin can kill chuck norris with his breath.

[koopachalupa]

lololol chuck norris lololol random letters lololol he smashed my head against the keyboard lololol!!! I FUNNY I FUNNY!

[hello254ful]

if Chuck Norris was really that powerful he would come and smash my head on the keyboard jhfmplbjhco-0=li0m=nh\ u6i8 vfjc

[JamesRichardBaldi]

jeeeeeezz chuck norris isn't gonna break into my house and bash my head into the keyboard

*PHEW* I made it OHHH YEAA CYA LAyTA

qwertyuiokijhgfvvghjklkjhgfghj­klkjhgfdfghjkjhgfdsdfghjklkjhg­tfrftyhjmn bvfcdrtyujmnbvcfder5tyujkmnbvf­drtyujnbvcxdertyhjnbvcdertyukj­mnbvcdrtyujnbvcxdswertyjhbvcxd­swfghj Sorry I was wiping my key board

[happypepper100]

177 people shouldnt sleep toonight chucknorris is after you

[arakosta1]

GOD created the world.Chuck Norris created GOD.

[777serialkiller]

@arakosta1 WTF r u saying?? Chuck norris created God?? I didnt knew dat someone would write something lyk dat to get a top comment!!! btw em a muslim!! plz dont say things lyk dat and dont take jesus (pbuh) and God's name with chuck norris and I too write Chuck Norris Facts..

[frabjousraz]

@777serialkiller hmmm? which country do you currently live in? I do not doubt that there is freedom of religion in the country that you currently live in...Now arakosta1 is entitled to his /her freedom of religion aswell (asuming that he/she lives in a country that supports it) so please don't be so ignorant as to go telling atheists that just because a large amount of people are religious that their opinion doesn't matter. Also as you write CNF's then you too know it's for fun -.-

[ricxyyy]

Wait... you can dislike this video???

[14MrABC]

@ricxyyy

no. thats the secret download button ;)

[syamillah]

come on guys, chuck norris just and actor, if he is so real, he will come to my house and slam my head at my keyboarasgfauvhn asdfhina vdankajd fk adskfkh asdfasfdgyhujl

[777serialkiller]

Chuck Norris has Xbox live on his ps3.

[briansf999]

Check out my channel video ''BRian Pham 2011'' I am born on March 10 1999 59 years after Chuck Norris was born and 57 years after Bin Laden was born

[andynicky]

Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris

[D1RtYD1ShWaShErDancE]

Everything they say about Chuck Norris is fake. It's not like he's going to break into my house and slam my head on my keybgjiadhsjhhfjhjhkbjknbdjndj­nhd ndnmdnmdjm

[Vinman8149]

@D1RtYD1ShWaShErDancE I do agree. He won't bash into anybody's house and smosh someone's head on the keytt5t7 tgf hkk dhuig djhbgr dyuigy787 93b 8t4e98 79 753w0y8 ;*(Ya y80[43a

[bulldoglemsford]

Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

[Nightmare5355]

Sorry Kentoro its not our fault that you see Carebears as a god instead, so go home and cry ok and let everyone else enjoy the glory of Chuck Norris

[kentoro]

THIS IS BULLSHIT. CHUCK IS NEVER A GOOD ACTOR. HE IS A SHITTY ONE. PLEASE STOP REFERING TO HIM AS A GOD, IF HE REALLY IS GOD dfo3HJR90'PIRH NQIPRFSGo[;hn kqhakldhxcn

[Ab1djan]

@kentoro People dont really care about him, but the chuck norris jokes stay funny anyway.

[ilovejelliex]

@Ab1djan the rest of that after "if he really is a God" is "he will come to my house and slam my head against a heyboandfkladjgnalknfvhlegjn m\krlgnvs;rm;m rj"

It was copy and pasted -.- but it was changed slightly so it didnt really make sense ;)

[kkk17able]

@kentoro

copy and paste much?

your pathetic

[sok213]

at 2:51 chuck norris jizz

[RogerWijdeveld]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it

[petaghgfhf]

If Chuck Norris was so tough he would go to my house and slam my head to the keyboardjhhbvijhidfhdhfboivboi­dfidbfhsfvuh87hfvioz

[humanjustice1]

Jesus walked over water and Chuck Norris walked over Jesus.

[assassian250]

Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck Norris swims through land!

[iluvswaffles]

I've read up on your facts; your cancer cures tears? well tell me Chuck, how come you've never sat down and cried on your career? -Abraham Lincoln

[rezarahardian]

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.

chuck norris was born with puberty .... and