BPD 33: Magical Thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder

[sam20068]

this is really good... im going to buy the book u have there.. lol

[kitten103083]

ok thanks i will think about that :D

[JustABitchyCancer]

oh my gosh. I have always been paranoid about the way i walk. And the funny thing is it makes me walk more funny .  Seriously no joke. I feel like when i walk if anyone is looking i can't walk normally. lol

[composer63]

@JustABitchyCancer I knew it.. lol

[pokabu85]

@JustABitchyCancer I do That exact thing too, I start worrying about it and my knees buckle and have to stop myself form walking weird after I started walking wierd for real.

[kitten103083]

i would say i get hopeless. my meds are helping tho.... what do u think?

[composer63]

@kitten103083 I think you need to feel secure with you ability to function in the world and to make solid decisions.

[Zyath]

Can zombies be a form of 'magical thinking'?

[composer63]

@Zyath Probably man

[Zyath]

@composer63 ...I'm female...

[composer63]

@Zyath good for you.

[sillypantses]

I think the whole comparison between psychopaths and borderlines here in the comments was interesting. I had an on-again, off-again friendship that was really intellectually stimulating and intense with a person diagnosed borderline, but after a while I thought he was possibly a psychopath instead. He was a con artist, he seemed to enjoy manipulating people out of things and money, but he acted also like a lost puppydog and gave me teh feeling I should somehow protect and defend him.I don't know

[composer63]

@sillypantses Its hard to find similarity between the two disorders.

[sillypantses]

"People in your life are like flowers waiting to bloom with love for you. All they need is for you to water them with understanding and sincerity." That is a beautiful way of putting it - thank you. I thought it was interesting what you said about worrying God would come down and make you gay. I'm gay, but it took me a long time to figure out. I had an ex who thought he was gay and then realized he wasn't. I'm glad I'm gay.

[composer63]

@sillypantses your a wonderful person. You know.

[kitten103083]

@ composer63 thanks :) yes i think i am but i haven't been diagnosed with it . i think im going to ask my therapist to evaluate it.

[composer63]

@kitten103083 do you have big rage or do you get hopeless?

[kitten103083]

what book is it that u are referring to?

[composer63]

@kitten103083 first, r you BPD?

[composer63]

@kitten103083 Borderline personality disorder demystified.

[noreasontogiveup]

I meant Charles.

My iPod auto corrected it to Chris...? Dumb thing..

[composer63]

@noreasontogiveup hey thanks for watching.

[noreasontogiveup]

It's like you were talking to me the whole time Chris.

[Zhawq]

(2) I decided to watch this video because I recently wrote the first few articles about Magical Thinking in Psychopaths. I can definitely recognize symptoms in your description, even though my own Magical Thinking - and that of psychopaths in general - is a little different from yours, more aimed at self-affirmation aspects and grandiosity.

Anybody who are interested are welcome to stop by my channel. There's a link there to my website.

Thanks for sharing, Composer!... '^L^,

[composer63]

@Zhawq They're very opposite in some ways. In fact, most ways. But they come off as the same. Both fall into the same catagory of "BAD".

[Zhawq]

@composer63 Hey, sorry about my late reply.

Yes, I see what you mean. Funny how some view us as basically the same, only different in "degree". I can also see what they mean, of course, but I don't agree with them. If they were right, we would also have to include Autism - which some apparently do as well.

To me it shows more that neurotypical people tend to think in very general terms about everything and everybody that don't fit their own definitions of what and how to feel when and why.

[composer63]

@Zhawq I remember people were always more interested in telling me how to live my life then actually listen. they were just outa control.

[Zhawq]

@composer63 That is something we have in common, I can tell you that! Man, it sometimes used to drive me crazy, especially when I was a kid, when I could see people weren't listening, they merely waited for an opportunity to tell me what THEY thought I should do. Furthermore, they usually have no good reasons. If you ask them: "Why should I do that?" they say things like: "That's just the way it's done! Everybody does it like that!". People are very eager to make all do everything the same way.

[qwexas]

@Zhawq This comment looks like the way things can feel, but not necessarily the way things are. It seems to be overgeneralized. You make it sound like the world is a factory designed to create clones of a politically correct person. It can seem that way sometimes, especially like you said when you're a kid; adults don't usually feel obligated to explain things to kids, let alone listen to them. And you weren't just a weird kid with unique style, you were a young psychopath.

[Zhawq]

@composer63 It gives them a false sense of security: Well everybody else does it too, and the same way as I do, so it must be okay. And that can make some people almost aggressive about forcing others to comply and submit to the great majority mainstream mantra of the masses' dictatorship.

There're ways to make others listen though. They don't like it, and they'll say you're domineering and intimidating, i.e., but that's the price for not being ignored or coerced!... '^L^,

[composer63]

@Zhawq Y eap, I hate them for it, and I ain't going to "forgive" them for it either. Maybe "forget". Your extremely charismatic when you write these messages by the way. Its a trait I never had.

[qwexas]

@Zhawq I think sometimes society needs to force someone to comply. If you're doing something that makes life difficult for others, ruins their hard work, or harms others, you need to be stopped. We have laws to protect us. We're better off not having destructive people out there causing problems, so we confine them. If you behave properly, you cause less trouble for others, society, and yourself.

[composer63]

@qwexas Do you suppose that this could be a thing that separates you from the the other sociopaths? (I'll delete this comment if you like.)

[qwexas]

@composer63 This is one of many things that separates me from sociopaths, because I'm not a sociopath. I was trying to answer a psychopath, so I chose words I thought would make more sense to him than "because it's wrong - doesn't your conscience tell you that?" So maybe my comment came across as sociopathic, since I was trying to speak his language, but I'm really not one.

[composer63]

@qwexas Ur more schizoid right?

[qwexas]

@composer63 Yeah. Well, I show most of the traits, but not in the sense of it being a "disorder", so I'd rather not carry the schizoid banner. Far as anyone's concerned, I'm just living one of the lives within the realm of acceptable. Maybe not your average guy, but definitely not a sociopath or psychopath.

[composer63]

@qwexas I think schizoids have difficulty maintaining social situations. they're just not able to be charming. kinda like aspergers. lol. its true though, when I talk to you your all about substance. too much about substance. lol

[qwexas]

@composer63 The difficulty (for me) comes from the lack of what you call substance. I see no point in a lot of social situations. I wouldn't say I have difficulty being charming, it's more of a difficulty finding a reason to be charming, or to even be in a social situation. It's more a lack of motivation/desire than a lack of ability. If I meet someone with something substantial to say that interests me, I enjoy talking to them, and they seem to like me or find me charming.

[composer63]

@qwexas being charming just calls for a little creativeness and passion. if you enjoy it. you got all the point you need.

[qwexas]

@composer63 You say "good" and "bad" quite a bit, but I don't always know why something is good or bad. Could you send me a message that explains what things are good/bad, and how you decide that? I don't share your sense of good/bad, and I would like to understand it.

[composer63]

@qwexas Well, if you don't care about the rules. U don't want to be good, you only care about yourself, you are bad. If you feel empathy, your sorry, want to conform to society opposed to expecting the society to conform to you....etc, you r good. U see, now go to church they'll explain it. There's another thing called crazy. schizophrenics. K, prenatal psychosis. these r crazy. Personality disorder, is not crazy though. they're just bad eggs. lol. or bad people. lol

[qwexas]

@composer63 What are the rules? Why are they the rules? Do the same rules apply to everyone? Is someone bad if his religion has different rules? Can someone be good and bad at the same time? What if they care about others and feel empathy, but don't want to conform? What if (Aspergers) they don't feel empathy, but follow rules and can be sorry? If someone does some bad and some good, which are they? Do you trust your good/bad reckoning to be right?

[Zhawq]

(1) I wasn't aware that Jeff Dahmer and Nielsen are seen as people with BPD. It's interesting, because I also became surprised when I heard people with Asperger's Syndrome say Jeff Dahmer had Asperger's (I don't know about Nielsen in this regard). It's 'funny', because professionals think Dahmer was a psychopath. You know of my diagnosis by now, and I'll say that I don't think Dahmer showed the common signs of psychopathy either, and I can usually spot other psychopaths almost automatically.

[NikeshalovesCasey]

the loop hole is a way to have a magical view of the world and still be based on facts therefore not crazy

[composer63]

@NikeshalovesCasey Oh, ur not crazy just bc u do reiki. Ur crazy if your foaming at the mouth with schizo. Some BPDs have jumped out of windows to self harm but they're perfectly sane. No hallucinations. Superstitious but not crazy.

[NikeshalovesCasey]

key words "highly unlikely" haha so if you pick things that are far out but still backed up by science you arent completely nuts! I found a loop hole hehe

[composer63]

@NikeshalovesCasey What was that loop hole?

[19MisUnderstood]

very interesrting video

i can relate a lot

[composer63]

@19MisUnderstood : )

[liizland7]

U NEVER HAD GOOD HAIR, U ALWAYS LOOK MESSY BUT LOOK GOOD ON U!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOOO LONG

[RZEEJOKERRS1000]

This video kinda helped me learn a bit more about it

[XXRavethedrummerXX]

4:35 "I walk funny..." I didn't know where you were going with that, but now I see it starts the snowball effect. Sigh...

[Chiiiiyo]

i watch all your videos just so u know. i enjoy listening to your voice and what you have to say. it makes me feel less alone and fucked up, and also it makes me understand a bit more about myself.

[composer63]

@Chiiiiyo Thanks. Thats helpful. I need to know when I'm doing the right thing or not.

[Ugliest1uEVERsaw]

I appreciate your videos. Thanks. I write a blog inside the mind of BPD from my perspective. It's personal and rather than trying to explain myself I display my thoughts for others to decipher me.

[composer63]

@Ugliest1uEVERsaw Thank you. My intention is to just put out as clearly as I can, and then let you take what you need from it. Its very nice when people say these sorts of things.