Patton Oswalt - Rats & Orgy

[megadeth425]

I like how his Sumerian Prankster God's voice is Terl.

[Shadowdreamer4]

there goes fucksquash!

[lictor313]

fog bank of twat mist..... jesus christ that got me 

[mkl62]

1-27-2012. He full of glee at 43. Happy Birthday, Patton. You've come a long way since Small Doses.

[NatureGnome]

"Rats" (porn open on another tab on my computer) "who wants a sloppy asshole?" hahaha.... not sure why it's funny, but it is.

[Jcolinsol]

Patton's wife sounds delightfully unassuming.

[choad45]

everyone knows saturday night's fuck night, give 'em three buckets. lmao

[BubbaNintendo]

He's so amazing that you can't believe what he says. Oswalt, Gaffigan, Galifianakis, Louis C.K. Oh man!

[Shinmaru007]

"a fog bank of twat mist" amazing

[ssbmon396]

I would definitely worship the Sumerian prankster god. Sounds like as good of an excuse as any to ritually slaughter a goat.

[DABOO317]

What was Snooki doing climbing telephone lines in Burbank?



[thegeekifier]

Fucksquatch!

[seans63lemansSD]

Fucksquatch!!



[profilescythe]

9:19 to skip to the funny part.

[abusfulloforphans]

starting at 8:36 in the background you notice that the eye of Saron sees all. For all you lord of the rings fans.

[MsSoniasoniasonia]

@abusfulloforphans You are pure awesomeness.

[ROXIO7]

I remember the first time I heard Patton Oswalt on TV, I thought he was funny as hell, but couldn't place where I've heard his voice before

I remember I heard him in the children's movie Ratatouille 300 times because my sister watched that thing non-stop lol

[the44118]

I could listen to this dude all day

[bbspicer]

Oh, fucksquatch, what secrets do you hide?

[UziMadMan]

BLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!

[L1llyw0lf]

Oh F*cksquatch

[DoubtfulGrace]

5 people dont know the difference between a rat and a squirrel......

[RincewindsHat66]

Patton's "Sumerian Prankster God" voice is legendary.

[Dyler]

@RincewindsHat66 I think it's his impression of a "SUPER FRIENDS" era Mr.Mxyzptlk

[hardcoremutineer]

this shall be a naughty caprice X)

[1REVINT]

Entertaining, not funny.

[lowercase18]

summerian prankster god..... high-larious!!!!!!!!! 

[Xather15]

The title alone just peaks any YouTubers interest lol

[XciteMe83]

Danny DeVito in a rat costume. XD

[MegaDarkangel13]

Him and Louis ck are the top 2

[bullmilk]

@MegaDarkangel13

I will happily agree with this statement. Both are willing to go balls out with their routines.

[wallstreetatheist]

@MegaDarkangel13 Patton, Louis CK, David Cross

[carlo88moe]

@MegaDarkangel13 him, louis ck, and david cross are the top 3

[Haukenslush]

"a fog bank of twat mist" LMAO

[Nizman]

I should not be listening to this at work. Everyone will think I'm crazy. But I can't help myself!

[ShootingStarNeo]

Oh God. Oh GOD I'm DYING xDDDDD

[Sarge7777]

Lmao Patton Oswalt is hilarious, that fucksquatch thing was funny it reminded me of Bill Hicks because it sounds like something he would say. lol

[Josh02886]

I've been listening to arguable some of the greatest comedians all day as I work and this guy; this Patton Oswalt has busted my gut better than anyone else has in the last 6 hours.

[Josh02886]

I love this rat joke : )

[brokenseatbelt]

" Because we're civilized human beings. " I heard B-word fat accent when he said beings.

[SuperWhofarted]

"SPLAT!"

[Bear5177]

"Fucksquatch"

Damned hilarious!

[stickdudex]

(in pattons head) shes full of shit. lol i almost pissed my pants

[TomMSTie1138]

I'd love to see this as a comedy skit just to see Patton as the world's most adorably evil Sumerian God.

"If beans were grapes, what jokes and japes I'll play!"

[Nomorebiscuits]

Rodents Of Unusual Size? Patton Oswalt doesn't think those exist.

[TomMSTie1138]

@Nomorebiscuits But there's something Patton doesn't know...I am not left handed.

[Nomorebiscuits]

@TomMSTie1138 That is inconceivable!

[TomMSTie1138]

@Nomorebiscuits And Patton could talk about his "MAWWIAGE!"

[Nomorebiscuits]

@TomMSTie1138 Well, true love *is* the greatest thing in the world. Except a nice BLT...

[TomMSTie1138]

@Nomorebiscuits Oh man, I'm running out of lines now.

Oh I got one, did you ever hear the bit about Patton's racist cellphone? Well, it's known to many Spaniards.

[Nomorebiscuits]

@TomMSTie1138 "You have a cellphone. Prepare to die". You seem a decent fellow, I subscribed to your MST3k-channel.

[TomMSTie1138]

@Nomorebiscuits Why thank you. :)

But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

[jruwing87]

did someone in burbank just say there's no RATS?!

[TNTIV]

Oh this shall be a naughty kaprest!

[Cedarpaw]

@TNTIV "Oh, this shall be a naughty caprice!"

FTFY

[TNTIV]

@Cedarpaw im a bad speller haha

[TwinDragons310]

I love him!

[mastercheif4072165]

Patton Oswalt + Lewis Black = EPIC COMEDY EXPLOSION.

[TomMSTie]

I wish Dr. Katz was still on so I could see the animated version of the Rat story. Danny DeVito in a rat costume!

[head909]

we need a fourteenth

[ErichoTTA]

Wow, Patton Oswalt voiced a rat in "Ratatouille".

[galaxyrock]

"Beans and Grapes, what jokes and japes I'll play!"

[DrkRonin03]

Cool story bro

[BitchinnShoes07]

If that guy on the phone had said that to me I would have been like "FUCK YOU, IT'S WEDNESDAY!"

[FoxForever90]

@BitchinnShoes07 I've never heard of businesses stopping on a wednesday when the freaking 4th of july is 2 days later.

[StaceyC123]

@FoxForever90

Exterminators also need to think about picking up the carcasses within a day or 2 after they're dead, otherwise they end up with an absolutely REEKING bag of maggots.

[Chetnik14]

There goes Fucksquatch through the underbrush...

[AwsmPntsAlchmst]

hes shorter than i thought :O Hehe. really love the guy though. i love the noise he makes when hes speaking about the rat :O

[brokenseatbelt]

This enchanted forrest of cockshafts and labias. LMFAO

[imdaman0000]

fuck fumes lmfao

[cinemasailor]

"Oh, this shall be a naughty caprice!" Patton Oswalt knocks it out of the park once again. Right up there with "a failure pile in a sadness bowl."

[lautour]

oh if I had 40 seconds of power!

[SatansMullet]

TWATMIST LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[westhighgoalie]

He REALLY does look like a little lesbian when he gets dressed up!!!

[leroyspunkin]

He may be the funniest fucker I've ever seen. Extremely clever and unbeatable delivery/pace.

[platinummongoose]

Beans and grapes, what jokes and japes I'll play.

[andrewm153351]

this is one of the best comedic stories of all time.

[Aphasia17]

wave bye to fuck squatch

[rocketsandfireworks]

is this tru? haha

[th3boy75]

only him and the fucksquatch will ever know, for only he and the mystic fucksquatch could see through the fog bank of twat mist.

[sharkboy85]

"Oh, this shall be a NAUGHTY caprice!" lol every time.

[Thrashaero]

fog bank of twat mist

[connorpatt81]

I believe in fucksquach

[DarMar106]

The bit about the Sumerian god kills me every time lolololol

[JoeFunz]

Lmfaooooo

[bgalli100]

Love the way he sets up a joke

[TomMSTie]

4:12 - I love that face he makes. He looks like an evil cherub.

[metacarpied]

"Honey is that what you saw?" "No that's a squirrel" "She's full of shit" swoop! bleeeh! blam! splat! "AAAAAAAA!"

makes me laugh my ass off every. time.

[colmul1]

legend!! brilliant in king of queens

[Z0hann]

Honey come take a blurry picture of fucksquatch, hahaha.

[jwka2001]

"Wave of Fuck Fumes"

"Fogbank of twat mist"

[thevgman]

@jwka2001 That is just pure poetry

[I3M4N162]

Why does the sumerian god hav a british accent?

[anetola]

@I3M4N162 ...why not?

[I3M4N162]

"Go honey take a blurry picture of Fucksquatch." Ha!

[frodope]

fucksquatch haha omfg

[BeccaLaughsAtBecca]

The forgotten Sumerian prankster god bit just tickles me pink!

How did he even come up with that??? Brilliant. Hilarious.

[Nabend1401]

@BeccaLaughsAtBecca I bet he read "Small Gods" by Terry Pratchett. That's about forgotten gods who can only regain their power when someone starts to believe in them again.

[CavemanSynthesizer]

One of Pratchett's best!

[DarMar106]

Terry Pratchett? did i miss soemthing? haha

[TomMSTie]

@Nabend1401 I call dibs on Chernobog!

[Aaronlm91]

@Nabend1401 that book is amazing.

[mikeboy100]

"A rare sighting of that Cryptozoological marvel" LMAO

[windmonkey95]

i cant find he one where he talks about the scotch ads he saw does anyone know what show that one was from?

[Guitardude85]

There goes Fucksquatch!

[mustkyk123]

july 2nd it my birthday :)

[jwka2001]

"wave of fuck fumes"

[StagnantObserver]

This shall be a naughty caprice!

[I3M4N162]

"Beans and grapes with jokes and jakes! I'll play!" LMAO

[ThisIsDaveK]

"juicy" LMAO

[JBWarner86]

Dang, I'll never be able to watch "Ratatouille" again without hearing this routine in my head. Funny stuff!

[randikajamai]

Please stop quoting from the routine.. Its pretty lame

[RhondaCat]

I know right? We were there lol We get it

[Balisong0917]

Shut the fuck up.

Theyre just saying their favorite part of the routine.

What the fuck is wrong with that?

[JonnyAnybody]

It annoys me too, but at least they aren't quoting Jeff Dunham.

[lilkrissvicious]

"he's just walkin through the trees and bushes..barefoot!" hahahaha he's greeaaaat

[pinkfloydicus]

it's amazing how he can turn a story about nothing into something hilarious

[MrDerricko]

Patton Oswalt has the best delivery, and crushes most of the other comics out there. Oh Fucksquatch....what secrets do you hold?

[afkhajiit]

FOGBANK OF TWATMIST

[pupil8]

this is the closest i have ever come to passing out. wow.

[scottvska]

This is old material. He did the rat joke last year in Seattle.

[arabflyer]

looked like danny devito in a rat costume

[killthefuckingenemy1]

He gave the prankster god 40 seconds of power in our realm!! Beans and grapes with jokes and japes.....aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha­hahahahahaha

[Wrathbone13]

The Sumerian Prankster God sounds like Eddie Izzard.

[StraylightBayside]

FUCKSQUATCH.

Patton is the man. My fucking face hurts from laughing so hard.

[heartxofxbutter]

Oh Jesus I'm dying with laughter over here.

[aaronbrakefield]

a little bill hicks.. always a good thing

[westofthegarden]

he sounds like the interrupter from conan during the samarian god bit

[MercuryClock]

I've listened to this so many times in a row just to hear his prankster god voice. I love the way he says Burbank.

[usergreg1498]

My God...NOBODY weaves a tapestry with words like Patton Oswalt! I could watch Patton clips at my mother's funeral and wind up doubled over laughing.

[tragic1Kingdom]

Fuck fumes. Thank you, Patton, for putting that into my vernacular.

[ThatsBitch3n]

well, i thought this was something else...

can someone help find a clip of Uncle Touchys Naked Puzzle Basement? Hes talking about Ratatouille and Halloween.

[Jordacar]

Every so often, Patton likes to remind us he's an English major. I'm sure he can't help himself.

[ReggyRay289]

"We were standing in a fog bank of twat mist"

So amazing with his analogy's.

[kdixon7783]

FUCK FUMES?

[AvariceAngel]

Danny Devito LOOOL!

[Crimsonphilosophy]

prankster god = bill hicks

[thinman25]

"Did someone in Burbank say there's no rrrrats? WELL..."

Man, Patton is too good. He's a freaking wordsmith.

[Face2nutts]

Very nice, I shared it with my friends..thanks for the upload, as well.

[Aerach89]

I hadn't heard these ones before, thanks for the upload.