Added: 4 years ago
From: JihadSuicideHotline
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  • I got my Ji-HARD after watching this.

  • You Sir, need to make a LOT more of these vids.

    They are great!

  • Jihad Suicide Hotline website..

    "Our website has been hacked by our enemies!

    New page coming soon.

    Meanwhile, you can email us.."

    4 years later...

  • What?

    Only 3 vid.  dammmmmmm

  • Why?

    

  • that was pure prejudice and jihad means struggle...

  • @EnvelTheTrader oh get a fucking life you boring dullard.

  • @Drweavil kk ill become a racist and i guess dats a life?

  • @EnvelTheTrader For a start Islam is not a race you idiot. So you can take that bullshit line and shove it firmly up your hairy arsehole. Secondly, you're offended... who gives a fuck! Grow a pair of man balls and stop whining like a little bitch with skinned knee's. Lastly, no-one, and I mean no-one, gives a flying fuck about how precious your "beliefs" are to you no matter how ridiculous they are. We get it, everything offends you. We don't care... grow up.

  • @Drweavil thats why i said prejudice, i normally use thar argument myself lol, but i expect people to be smart enough to know what i mean when i say racist. i dont get offended, ever. wait why did u come to the conclusion that imma muslim?... i dont remember calling myself a muslim anywhere... another thing is if there was a video insulting ur country/belief/etc. you WOULD be offended, u dont have a choice in it.

  • @EnvelTheTrader I'm an adult so I don't get offended. Therein lies the difference. Say what you like I couldn't give a flying fuck, all it is is a different opinion. In fact I'll go so far as to say that I'll defend your right to say it, what I won't do however is condone your opinions. And as far as prejudice is concerned, that's bullshit too. I don't prejudge, I judge on merit and fact and if you're offended by people who make fun of you it's a fact, you're a child. Grow up

  • Yo, when will they add more vids?

    I mean, come on.... Im muslim and I wanna see more this hilarious shit.

  • LMAO! That was hilarious! 

  • I think it is funny when people try to act like comedians are being raciest and get all pissed off. Especially because it is part of a comedians job to be offensive with out it your stuck with a bunch of clean children's jokes which to be honest I never really found funny even in elementary school. Stop trying to please everyone and just be yourself you will get more respect that way. No one likes a kiss ass.

  • Great ! more please. !

  • The other day I was feeling kinda suicidal so I called the suicide hotline. It got out sourced to Pakistan and all they did was ask me if I could drive a truck?

  • GENIUS!

  • Chick is hot bro, if Arab chicks are this hot, I'm going to the middle east.

  • now if only we could strap bombs to everyone in the world who believes in religion.

  • hahaaaa 5 star ..very funny

  • Honestly, if these guys stopped making this, I might start making them again with my team. I'll credit these guys with the idea and such tho. Anyone want that?

  • MOAR

  • MOuahahahahaahah!

  • There's absolutely NO reason for any nasty remarks from either side here.Im not boasting about how great I am,thats a very unreasonable assumption.Im not here for a debate either.I think these clips are very funny.Its that simple.

  • Doesnt anyone see the FUNNY side to this? Its about making light of serious issues.Lighten up, become an athiest like me : )

  • @bobbymurphy71 SEE! YOU COMPLETE FOOL NOW YOU ARE STARTING A DEBATE! XD Its the Athiets are the ones that start the debates here, all you haft to do is look at the comments, the Muslmis are the ones that realise this is just takeing the piss. Look at all the athiest hate comments on Muslims takeing the piss out of them selves, then the athiests come along and boast about how great they are, it makes me very very sad.

  • i'm officially going to issue a fatwa that permits raping female jihadis .

    Allahu Gaybar.

  • hahahahahha!!!!!

  • If the West (namely America ) didn't support that crappy little Nazi state Israel, - a country with NO resources - apart from Jaffa oranges!) we want or need, then we wouldn't have ANY Islamic terrorism in the West and definitely none in England.

    Israel and its agents act as a good agent provocateurs and keep the ball rolling. Thankyou, Tony Blair, Mossad agent and traitor to his country.

  • @SilvaSkaduwee ahahhaahahh funny to hear from a dirt bag muslim shit like u how can u complain about shit like this how bout u live with u other muslims in small huts in Afghanistan with no power and see how u like it while eventually a bomb from USA meets ur door bitch next time speak muslim

  • @MrCallOfDutySeries24

    I'm of Nordic European origin and live in London you absurd piece of American trailer trash. You sound very uneducated with all your profanity.

  • Awww... why ain't more of this D:

    I WANT MORE SUICIDE BOMBERS >.<

  • More, more more!

  • I'm a well-hung stud cruisin' for bearded bomber butt. My fantasy? Takin' 'em from behind while they pray on their sexy silk rugs. Just mentioning my pipe bomb makes them go gonzo for a glimpse. Recently, the mullahs asked me to train jihadis by dropping some really deep pipe. Anyone know why they want to get more comfortable with 8 inch by 3 inch objects in their rectums? It's hard work, but what can I say, I have a gift. I'm thinking about converting. Bring me some Arabian knights.

  • SING THE FOLLOWING WITH THE MUSIC OF "I WANT TO SEE YOU DANCE"

    I shit on those fucking Christians and Jews, bastards

  • @arabislam1

    Christians and jews are not enemies, The oppressive are. Stop bashing other faiths and focus on yourself. Allah did not create you so YOU coud judge others. That is for him to decide.

  • This is soooooooooo funny!

  • She was pretty hot wasn't she?

  • hahaha that shit was funny but the girl in there is off the hook i know she got that cake and i want a piece of it. all day every day I will turn that parody craving voice to reality sreams

  • lol :D

  • احمد الجمال وراندا هههههه

  • wooooooooooooooow hahahahahahhaha

  • hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • no don't imrovise, stick to the manual!

  • Genius idea

  • MAKE MORE!!!!!

  • LMAO

  • episode 1 is the only funny one. i wish i never saw the episodes 2 and 3

  • lmao that was funny man

  • I was going to wait for more vids myself but to hell with it - this is brilliant and I'm subscribing now! :)

  • only 3 vids... wtf! i trust you will upkoad more so ill subscribe, but really hoe there will be more suicide hotline!

  • lol i love this its funny as hell you NEED to make more!

  • Damn this girl is hot! She is sooo sexy!!!

  • lmao wha ha ha cant stop laughing complete guide line for idiots...wha ha ha ha

  • Make more or I put fatwa on you!!

  • It is past time for another video.

    STOP ALL MUSLIM IMMIGRATION NOW!!!!!!

  • shes sexy , i can understand why islamics want there women covered up , 60% of them are ugly and hairy

    but the rest deserve to take off there masks

  • Spank me with your words;)

  • damn she's a HOTTyyy

  • what a waste of time,,,,,,,,,,stupid

  • zionist crap

  • Lash me with your tongue? Yikes , I would've said I can arrange that!!! For Free!!!

  • I am absolutely outraged by this video.

    Have you people no shame in the lies and inaccuracies it portrays?

    Where is quran?

    In the real world of the muslim suicide bomber, the girl would have been wearing at least 6 more sticks of gelignite, and the man would have had a big hairy beard and moustache!!! (you know....a bit like how a proper cunt should look).

    Get your facts right and in the next video, please show more beaver hair!!!

    Sincerely yours, Omad (the brother of Achmed the dead terrorist).

  • @throbule it's an ad absurdum parody, you shitwad; it's not supposed to be accurate.

  • @therealfriday13th:

    I think its you that is the parody.

    A parody of an intelligent human being I mean.

    I think the words 'cunt' and 'beaver' give the game away in throbules very funny comment.

    You may not be a muslim, but you're just as stupid as if you were.

  • @therealfriday13th:

    I should treat your comment with the contempt it richly deserves, but it would be remiss of me not to mention in passing that the cam pic on your channel does your obvious imbecility justice.

    A more perfect photograpic example of a shitwad would be hard to find - so if I ever require a design for a 24 carat twat, I shall remember your grinning gibbon like face.

    By the way - how long have you known that your brain and your asshole were switched at birth?

  • LOL

  • ...

  • this is awesome !!! episode 4 please!!!!!!!

  • is there going to be an episode 4?

  • agree where is episode 4?

  • I'm Muslim and I find this hilarious, I dont think this is offensive.

  • the same here!

  • @Mrcoolguy96 if your not a terrorist nor a sucide bomber then is shouldent be offensive

  • @Mrcoolguy96 - what about if i wiped my ass on the koran, nuked mecca and genocided the muslims?

    would you find that offensive?

  • @TrolinTrolinTrolin3

    If I told you your conspiracy theories were a bunch of rubbish, would YOU be offended?

    

  • @Mrcoolguy96 - if i stuffed a broken bottle up your ass would you be offended?

  • @TrolinTrolinTrolin3 If you nuked Mecca and 1.7 Billion Muslims came looking for you, would you be offended...?

  • @Mrcoolguy96 me too hahaaha ikr im from america this is off the floor funny salam alikum

  • This could become the new fonejacker

  • this is actually really good. lol very good!

  • hilarious. I love how this pisses off the jerks. LOL

  • BaHahahahah! LMAO!

  • she has really nice teeth

  • I saw them all

    they are funny and not offensive.

    Still some people will find it not appropriate to talk about Muslims like this,

    but we are Jewish to act that sensitive about our issues and make you afraid to have fun with us

    we love fun

    but not fun with God , Quran and Mohammed (the last messenger of God)

    yes am a Muslim

  • oh so its ok to make fun of jews

  • one day all you  kikes will pay the price of all your lies

  • 0:41

    they look really soft yet pliable.

  • 0:44 - 0:45

    really soft.

  • LOve it!

  • what does it not allow?

  • You need to need The Holly Quran then you will get what dose and what dosent

  • So, hadiths are useless and quran scholars too? Just get the Quran and BAM, that's forbidden, BAM that's forbidden?

  • (dare I say) ....free speech?

  • Comment removed

  • keep making videos!!!

  • Wow! Pretty girl.

  • what!?!?!? only three episodes?!?!?!

  • when are they coming out with more videos!!

  • He Cleaned The Phone

    LoooooooL !

  • LooooooooooL!

  • hey now homey dont roll this way lol.

  • Only three episodes? Those fuckers called a fatwah on you to make you stop, didn't they?

  • HEY it's Akhmed!

  • Akhmed ??!!!!!!! ahmed dumb fuck only jews speack like that

  • It's about friggin' time someone made some 9/11 era comedy. Every war/era of the 19th and 20th cen had lots of good humor. 9/11 and the 21st cen has totally lacked good humor. Keep up the good work and poke some fun at the US too.

  • yeah we Americans suck :D

  • That's not the point. You should never take yourself so seriously that you can't make fun of yourself. These videos find the humor in a very sick human activity, and reflects the semitic sense of humor. Americans used to have a sense of humor. In the 90's and before there would have been all kinds of 9/11 jokes. There were jokes about Challenger hours after the loss, the same jokes, nation wide within hours, before the internet. WWII same thing, watch a few 'Buggs Bunny" episodes.

  • lol it's not just arrogant Americans it's all of humanity we're all stupid think of what it all really is life we can keep ourselves alive sure but we had to get farther as to say we need entertainment what would other races think about this? "what? You fake emotions for personal joy? that's kinda weird." and humans in ourselves wont think of the reactions of our actions sure we get to enjoy it but whats the opposite reaction? what bad happens when we ignore the other half of equivalent exchange

  • But we don't ignore the other half. It's shoved in our faces every day by the freaks that drive history and the news cycle. If you turn your argument on its head, you make my point. We have been missing a balancing humor that exposes the stupidity of humanity for what it is. This is much needed.

  • Awwh :( Make more episodes! xD

  • I want to thank all you Muslims out there who haven't blown yourselves up yet.

  • You're welcome my friend

  • You're welcome

  • if you do not make more videos the blood of the infadel shall flow like a river...

  • Haha xD

  • Love these. Good work!

  • so that guys name is achmed?

  • "stick to the manual". hahaha. i want more, plz.

  • Is this seriously an Iraqi series?

  • yeah, thats the reason its in english -.-

  • oh, duh.

  • Levity is what we need to bridge the hate and separateness. Thanks for this, girl is smokin too...hot, that is

  • Follow the manual... LMAO!

    XDXDXDXD

  • Make more videso man come on !!! hahahaha

  • this is a shame...really...

    BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD omg lool

  • it's funny. laughter can be healing. satire is funny if it's done right.

  • Only 3 episodes? We need much more!

  • lol! The level of ignorance amazes me. (not you)

  • make more!!!!!!

  • Holy cow.

  • Очаровательно =)

  • العنصرية...

  • العنصرية... = fuck allah!!

  • rofl? have fun finding what that says...

  • not really tbh her face ugghhhh

  • She is really HOTT! What can I say

  • I'm rolling on the floor....that was so funny.

  • This girl is so ot. I actually got a hardon from her.

  • ya your a lonely man. watch some porno or call sex hotline lol

  • This is the best series on youtube. Please make more!!!

  • My cousin run 4,900..he give you good deal. Tell him Achmed sent you. hahahah!

  • So whay do so many of you FUCKING MUZZIE BASTARDS kill so many people then?

    ASSHOLE!

  • guadalcanal45, No you are a RACIST DICK, I just don't like religion and religious people! That is not racist as I have to tell you IDIOTS time and time again!

  • yeah right but what about 72 virgins and stuff? in islam it is right to kill in jihad

    are you saying that all these islamist terrorist will go to hell? or do you think they will rewarted?

    there is a great contradiction

  • "ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS ?" hahhahahaha

  • lol Tell him Achmed (The dead terrorist) sent you

  • These Jihad Hotline episodes are hilarious. Shows how stupid Jihad is.

  • put in google "contradictions in quran"

  • Damn lost another one! lol

  • hahaha... that was funny.

  • He give you good deal!!!

  • f^^^^^^^^^^^^^ sunni