Classic Nostalgia Critic - Kazaam Review - Part 1

[kcinknowsbest]

You ever see The Toy? Where a rich kid buys a black comedian. That kid's dad actually works down the hill from me. Kid grew up to raise show dogs or some such lame shit.

[MultiJiggaWho]

Man, is this guy (and no, I'm not talking about Shaq) annoying! I'd rather watch every Shaq movie than have to listen to his whiny, little voice and his coma-inducing face. Dude, stop making videos and go do something else.

[Gackt4awesome]

Well, it could be worse. I could be Pluto Nash!

[scousekiller3]

@4:23 if i bumped into someone and they made that face at me id shit my pants.

[disneyrangerblue02]

Oh, I see what's goin' on. See, I only saw the previews, but I thought the kid said that he "owes" him. Instead, I hear perfectly that he "OWNS HIM"!!!! Goddamnit!!! What the fuck were these people thinking?!!!!!

[warriorgal9000]

OH MY GOD SHAQ'S GONNA EAT ME! I almost pissed myself with laughter when you said that

[sonicfreak04]

whats that song in the beginning?

[imfercho]

Was Shaq trying to make a music producer believe that he actually had a talent for rapping with this movie?

[Shadowlit001]

That ice cream cone was very... phallic...

[ichigoisfatal19]

the sad part is i still like this movie. liked it when iwas a kid still do. But Critic is right this movie has problems.

[ronvins]

This was the first Nostalgia Critic review I saw and laughed harder than I had in my entire life. I've now seen everyone of his videos.

[bradwolf07]

sad thing for me...I liked this p.o.s. as a kid. I even owned the game...wow, I think I need to vomit now

[xx9933yyzz]

Nice to know he uses the Battle Royale theme for this review

[Crazylatinokid7]

"I guess I should have an emotion here, but I don't want to...."

XD, I don't know why that got me but I was laughing for a minute.

[artyfowlrox]

@Nemises0300

What the hell is wrong with you? Don't bag the NC, he's infinity times better/funnier/awesomer/cooler­ that you could ever hope to be. So rack off.

[HwoarangFan2010]

I just want to be the guy who wants to help your mother.......in the bedroom

[gngskpow]

To illustrate my point in the fashion of Gruntilda, from Banjo-Kazooie:

Kazaam is trash, Shaq has no skill,

The Critic's moving for the kill,

When Nerd is stomped, and throttled hard,

Next victim's the Bat Credit Card!

[cue spine-chilling witch laugh here]

[RoosterGirlTZ]

Shaq should never act in movies and this movie along with Steel illustrates why athletes do not make the best actors. Sure there might be athletes who are exceptions but they're rare.

[WolfAndEarth]

Which was the review before this? Why were the critic running in the beginning?

[SuperKubrickfan]

@WolfAndEarth he's running because he had to review kazaam, the film suck's really bad.

[continentalrcinglg]

@WolfAndEarth He was heading to the Angry Video Game Nerd's house for their epic fight. No, really, that was the storyline.

[PineBeltRebelFans]

Dis movie stinks

I'd rather eat skinks

Or die instead

Please sever my head

[TheHumbleTinkerer]

I dunno ... for some reason I really enjoyed this as a kid.

[PhantomFluttershy]

This movie sucks. I wasted my bucks. Rhyming is fun. Let me get my gun.

[crh2010]

Wow I didnt know shaq could actually be understood and complete sentences

[LegoKing345]

66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?66 ppl disliked the video what do we do?

oh yea we like the video

[GMokemoD]

@LegoKing345 I just gave it a like. Does that help buddy?

[oakforestboys]

And as for everyone who don't kno what song it is IT'S BIGGIE SMALLS DUMBASSES

[oakforestboys]

Shaq does blow at free throws that's fact

[zlonic123]

Sit back down!

[zombiefan011]

@sonofdark18 I sympathize but at least she didn't make you watch North (SHUDDER)

[ShirosakiX]

Shaq is fuckin awesome lolololololol

[Killer27586]

3:08 what artist is that.

[TheGamerHomie13]

@Killer27586 you got to be joking right ? wow this new generation sucks ass my daughter is young and knows the best in the old school cause i still play them and even she likes them rather then bieber and wayns bullshit lol

[Killer27586]

@TheGamerHomie13 No, I'm not joking. I like both old and the new generation. The new generation of entertainment is cool in its own right. But the old generation of entertainment is waaayyyyyyyy better.

[TheGamerHomie13]

@Killer27586 the new generation is not cool it has lost all meaning and respect to what is real and what passion for music really is sure this is my thoughts on it but i know alot would agree with me on this.I dont listen to nothing new for its lost its meaning and the new generation are to brainwashed into the media b.s and to the entertainment bussiness to understand what really went down like back in the days unless you research about it. so to answer your question Notorious Big aka Biggie

[Killer27586]

@TheGamerHomie13 Ok, I will do some research.

[nathantonge2345]

SLAVERY!!!!! D:

[MrPuple10]

im sorry but 5:53 "Nigga stole my bike!"

[TheArcticmonkeysrule]

lol at 0:21!!!

[kilkolio]

this was back when there wasnt such thing as child rapists or at least not publicized

[andre9123]

samuel silva

[sweetnessledda]

Uh, it IS slavery. It would be even if the guy was white. That's kind of the point of the whole genie thing.

[checko5555]

whats that rap music song called?

[Scotttjt]

"OH MY GOD! SKAQ'S GONNA EAT ME!!!"

[origamipein18]

I remember seeing this movie and hated it. I looked it up on wikipedia (I only go there to look at pictures) and it said something about Shaq and that he shouldn't quit his night job.

[Zabuzawarlord]

You sound like that one guy from Whitest Kids U Know.

[MDthornton83]

Great review. In all honesty though, I never liked that movie too much. I especially hated that nasty-ass kid with attitude problems. He got on my nerves. And I'm surprised that nobody ever slapped him or anything! They just put up with his childish tantrums.

[Manusturbo]

MAGIC NEGRO

[nativewizard]

64 people disturbed shaq's zzzz's!

[sonofdark18]

2:45 its a monster!!! RUN!!!!!!!!

[BucDouble93]

Kazaam: I am Kazaam.

Max: Your name is TOBY! *whip crack*

Kazaam: Kazaam!

Max: I said, your name is TOBY! *whip crack*

[smilenman82]

2:45

Pause it there. I'm not sure how to describe what I'm seeing.

[SOB5000]

hoooollllyyyyyy crrraaappppp one of the bullies is Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite

[CriticalKid1]

Oh my God,Shaq's gonna eat me!!!!!!

[Freezingred2]

I bought this movie from Goodwill. My brother and I watched it and were in awe at the awfulness, racism, and pedophilia. This is one dumbass movie.

[sonofdark18]

@Freezingred2 you got this from goodwill? how much was the movie?

[CaptainAshSpearow]

Google captions:

"the ones who will be going on out of the presidency

I think this is market noteworthy very distorted"

[CaptainAshSpearow]

Google captions:

"the ones who will be going on out of the presidency

I think this is market noteworthy very distorted"

[CaptainAshSpearow]

WHO DARE TO WAKE ME?! AIN'T GONNA MAKE THIS A MYSTERY! WHO'S THAT SORRY WANNABE THAT DISTURBED MY Z'S?!

[BackslideDan]

I don't care what anyone says. Kazaam's freestyle entrance scene was awesome. The movie sucked, yes, but that was just so goofy it was epic.

[deadpool514]

kazzam 2 whach it or ill make kazzam 3

[cutelilldeadgirl]

as i kid i rented the all dos go to heaven movie and you know what i find insted this shitty movie it was the greatest disapointment of my childhood

[Straif5]

If this movie was a pound of C4, I'd blow it up.

[Chr1s747]

"I guess I should have emotions here, but I dont want to" Lmao

[killertellitubby]

"get you fatass back here" *smile*

[ladycontrary725]

Actually, the kid that plays Max is half-Latino AND would grow to play Wevil on Veronica Mars.

Just found that out today. World = Rocked.

[Orcdudez]

kASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSam -James Rolfe

[takingyourtime]

Look at that shit-eating grin!

[Bookfreak07]

This film was in the deep parts of my memory until the NC brought it back to the front...I guess it was buried in my memory for a reason.

[MrImastinker]

SLAVERY!

[LouieTheGamer]

Biggie smalls in a nostalgia critic review = win

[skateNappreciate]

I really don't think they meant for him to be "a slave", im sure shaq wouldve said something. the movies not 100% most original shit but I enjoyed it alot as a kid, and I think the rapping was simple so even kids (like me at the time) could understand. you guys are overexaggerating

[tehpewpew420]

@skateNappreciate Very much agreed.

[NexusARC]

Shaq Invented coning....... FUCK!!!

[galonski64]

Kazaam, I thought was a good movie. One reason I do love watching Critic, lol.

[albertjester]

0:01 NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

[rickyirishman]

@albertjester ???

[AkiZivina344]

@albertjester RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR­RDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD­DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD­DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD­DDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!

[UN1CR0NLORD]

@albertjester We are the knights who say NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIII! :D

[getmario64]

Notorious B.I.G. OWNED!!!

[TheKonnnY]

'Wishes Bitches'

[MissingCamcorder]

I started cracking up at the end...

[WrathofVishnu]

"You want this film to be good and I'm not jokin?

Grab yourself a J and get to smokin'

No truer words have ever been spokin'

It'll seem much better once you've been tokin"

[billyhammet]

this movie was alright as a kid of course but when you watch as an adult your all like what the fuck was that and why the fuck is shaq acting.

[trillination]

The beginning is funny but I don't get it where was nc going ?

[TFSONICFAN100]

@trillination to fight the nerd

[kewltyler44]

@trillination he was going to defeat the nerd. :)

[somedaysdreamers13]

Family guy, hilarious! lol

[flyingzombie1]

"A tall bearded man is following a little boy around offering him treats and saying that he can make all his dreams come true."

I feel like the Mickey Rooney "Care Bears" clip would be appropriate there.

[TheKhfreak2]

neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr­rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddd­dddddddddd

[WrathofVishnu]

I find it weird that Paul Glaser went from directing The Running Man to THIS. No wonder his career went down the shitter after this.

[w0lveg0d]

kazzam is so bad he cant make a good rap.he tries to be a man but all he is is a fucking scam to take your money from ya and thats the plan.but this movies gonna can what ever the fuck that means man.DAMNNNNNNNN

[sonofdark18]

2:45 thats a rape face right there

[sonofdark18]

shaq this shitty movie isnt going to make up for me getting the shittest birthday present i ever got when i was 6..........shaq fu for the sega genesis. goddamn that game was horrible

[dstebbin]

Wait wait wait... so... the Nostalgia Critic is mad because the genie likes to sing?

Look at this vid:

v=R8rnMc22AG8

See! It can work!

[TFSONICFAN100]

get your fat ass back here

lol

[TFSONICFAN100]

get your fat ass back here!

lol

[mattiathekaiju]

4:50 Herbert from Family Guy?

[shikagrey]

@mattiathekaiju Indeed.

[Ozztastic57]

1:56 i ghess you could call him the sprit of radio

[zombiefan011]

What is this reasons of vengeance stuff? was that a follow-up to another video? If so which one?

[uirukun]

Two words:

Shaq Fu

Hmm....Shaq has quite the record

[NonstopRam]

oh no

[wwekmg]

biggie!!!!!!'



[DonFranklinJr]

pause at 2:07. the hispanic kid on far right is pedro from napoleon dynamite

[chuggafan2345]

In order to use his genie music he meditates his Shaq fu

[TheAnamies]

you suck really :( its a good movie

[RoconzaArt]

@TheAnamies Shut up

[sendme68]

1:34 ...He can't even make free throws...

[Afromainia]

ROFL AT 2:17-2:26

[IAmTheAce5]

what are his reasons of vengeance?

[SexyButCurious]

I hated this movie movie when I was a kid!

[ptxsptxs]

HE WENT THROUGH THE HOLE! WHAT DO WE DO?

HE WENT THROUGH THE HOLE! WHAT DO WE DO?

HE WENT THROUGH THE HOLE! WHAT DO WE DO?

Oh, yeah! Go through the hole!

[pbtwentythree]

Hrm... I thought this movie was called Genie in a Box.....

[DOGSONG]

fuck you.



[MulcheArcade]

whats the orchestral music at the beginning when nostalgia critic is running in the field?

[bapqapmoc]

@MulcheArcade Dies Irae form Verdi's Requiem

[hpa2005]

2:55-I'm going to go out on a limb and say that was everyone's reaction to this film

[herounlimited13]

Know what's sad about this? Touchstone Pictures is owned by Disney, the "family friendly" company, yet they made Kazaam without thinking of the slavery and pedophilia implications in mind. You know, For Kids!

[JayAlexDavis22]

@herounlimited13 Yeah, that's why it was distributed by Touchstone, because Touchstone is the adult subsdiary of Disney.

[Hellborndelux]

Zecora from My Little Pony does better rhymes than this.

[Evowizard25]

@Hellborndelux Definetly, if she'd appear in this movie, it would be 20% cooler.

[omalor]

"rapping is this" + "clip of biggie smalls" = Epic Win!!!!

[simpsonsfan89]

I've quoted the line "See I can do that too, it's not that hard." so many times.

[MrHEC381991]

yano what'll make this video better and im NOT jokin.

grab yaself a J an gets a smokin! ;D

[SAHLISS]

And if you hungry, then lets "Green egg n ham it"!!!!

[ARSENALOFMEGADEATH]

the words the critic is looking for is: recording contract.



[SiorafasNaCillini]

I'm serious as HIV when I say that this film is crappy.

[infernape667]

Gee audience what is the worst thing you've ever seen. THIS MOVIE

[tthomaselli2]

7:02

[tthomaselli2]

6:21

[tthomaselli2]

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

He went through a hole.; What do we do?

Oh, yeah.; Go through the hole.

[tthomaselli2]

I will give this movie some credit, though: It had a decent sound-track & I was able to find some of the tracks on YouTube, already.: :)

[tthomaselli2]

As bad as this movie was, it's still a part of my child-hood & I was still able to point out all the stupid stuff yet I found it funny, at the time.

[kevinramrod]

Get yo fat ass back here...

[lemurdragonsan]

OH MY GOD SHAQ'S GONNA EAT ME!

[davonnkiyum]

"Sit Back Down" LMAO!!!!!!1

[tim0859]

@4:05 the movie in three words XD

[tim0859]

@tim0859 wait its 7:05

[Guigley]

"He comes back looking like a Cadbury egg dressed as Liberace..." Wow, that was funny.

[Maestro218]

FUCKING AWESOME CRITIQUE!

[Orthropox14]

3:29 the creators of the movie

[TheBrittlehead]

Dude, am I the only person who thinks the kid in this looks like a REAL young Tim Burton?

[letsgreeneggandhamit]

the only good line is kazaam is lets green egg and ham it

[jantcas23]

Shaq Fu is one of the worst games ever.

[MySullenRiot]

Ok, so this is bad, but at least they didnt make Shaq-Fu ;D

[NefariousEvildoer]

Interesting fact: Shaq has released four (yes, FOUR) rap albums, the first one going PLATINUM. Seriously.

Oh yeah, and there was a video game for the Super Nintendo called 'Shaq Fu'. (although not related to the Kazaam movie) Really.

[tthomaselli2]

"If you got the itches for a sack of riches, no matter how aboricious, I'm the man that can grant your wishes--"

"Bitches!".

[agari508]

@tthomaselli2 lol

[tthomaselli2]

"The movie stars Shaquille O'Neal-- Sit back down!...".

[infernape667]

''Don't you wish you had one of these'' Baskin 31 Robins LOL XD!!

[Zeldafreak007]

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HE WENT THROUGH A HOLE WHAT DO WE DO?"

"Oh yeah go through the hole.."

[cap10official]

DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT SHAQ

[DoubleO88]

This film was hard dont care what ya'll say!!

[Martialart07]

@DoubleO88 o0.....the fuck is wrong with you???

[sudahi51]

ya gotta know your limits with a boombox

[br33ana1]

@sudahi51 hahah

[mattyluvspokemon08]

right here dum dums lol

[highoffasharpies]

my sack itches after listening to that horrible rap at the start

[22nooblet]

Remember kids, always trust tall strangers with evil grins that say they'll make all your wishes come true!

And slavery is good!

[nativewizard]

would anyone ever dare to disturb shaq zzz's? I know I wouldn't!

[tonystark106422]

That was "Big Poppa" by the Notorious B.I.G., by the way.

[armandux1productions]

5:58 No not realy because hes missing one flux coppasitor and 1.21...jigawats? Ah we both know its not true because hes a genie that means he can do whatever he wants but he still has to get up to 88MpH so yeah i guess he did>

[MrMPS2002]

THAT BASTARDLY SLIMEBALL!!!

[freeburg100]

SLAVERY

[RetroVideoFan]

@freeburg100 "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE?!"

[freeburg100]

@RetroVideoFan this movie is messed up

[RetroVideoFan]

@freeburg100 I know. To quote NC from his Super Mario Bros. movie review: "You're messed up, movie! You're fucking messed up!". And yet he describes it so well, it almost makes me want to watch this movie.