You are so comfortable on camera. I want to start my own channel. What are some thing that helped you early in your tubing lol? Oh and Thanks your wonderful.
We, as a group, really need to stop worrying about other people's comfort and just be honest. If someone is asking you if you have a boyfriend, they are broaching the subject and invading your privacy by asking that question, so, telling them that you have a girlfriend is just you being honest.
Personally, I just wear my "I'm not gay, but my girlfriend is!" T-shirt. It's a good conversation starter and the looks on some people's faces, as they try to solve that riddle, are priceless.
Anyone else picture a bunch of rainbow coloured worms? I mean.. a can of gay worms.
I think sometimes it is almost needed to come out to your doctor. Once, a few years ago my doctor assumed I was stright and asked if I could be pregnant . When I said no, he did not quite believe me. Then I told him that if my gf had gotten me pregnant then she would have some explaining to do.
Hi Jess, I completely agree with you. As a future dentist myself, I'd appreciate my patients opening up to me and sharing that aspect of their lives. If a doctor tries to dismiss you or say something that is uncalled for, drop them and look for queer-friendly dentists and physicians in your local LGBT newspaper or website.
sometime you just hafta forget what other people might think and just be you, i mean just say it,you know if you lie about you'll just gonna end up regrettin and feelin like shit later but yeah =) im new to youtube so i'm really enjoyin these videos
Right on Jess! If some gets uncomfortable talking about your personal life, that's there problem! Especially when they are the ones that are asking about it.
If someone is embarrassed because they assumed you had a boyfriend (or girlfriend..whatever) I think it's nice to put them at ease if you can. People make assumptions all the time, and not from a bad place just from habit sometimes.
you're absolutely right, it's not up to you to make the other person feel comfortable, that shouldn't be a reason to avoid the topic. and that pretty much goes with every aspect of yourself!!!
I was at lunch with a couple people I met recently, and I can't remember what we were talking about but, one of them said "wouldn't you think it was weird if your boyfriend.. or your.." I was thrown off guard and couldn't even prepare a response before she corrected herself. It was kinda weird, but we kinda shared an understanding glance and all was well.
Oh ya.. that awkward hesitation that you hope they don't sense because you dont want it to seam like you are uncomfortable with it so that then they feel uncomfortable with it.. ya. shitty! I HATE those situations.. why can't people just say are you dating SOMEONE... Yes or no. DONE
You tell when you're asked, right? And about your doctor, this is what I've learned (from gay health centers here in Norway): If you're for a gyno, you should tell. And if there's anything else related to health, you should tell. But I guess it's not necessary to do if that's not the case...
Haha! This made me laugh the other day I was getting a pedicure with my Mom and the woman asked if I had a boyfriend and before I could even say anything my Mom blurted out "No, she has a girlfriend and she's great!" Thanks Mom.
i am glad for this topic cos i was just thinking about it this morning, im glad im not the only one that has a slight hesitation when telling almost strangers.
I've been dying to get to this topic. But the problem I have with telling people that aren't that close, like people you meet for the first time, is that they DON'T ask if I have a boyfriend. And I don't have a girlfriend, so it's not like I can bring her up in conversation. So what do you do then? I really find it hard just to bring it up casually. But I think some people really just need to know, especially guys. I hope one of you touches on this later in the week. It still was a great video!
Baby dyke phase - everything rainbow. I'm glad it passed in about a year. Now I'm much less "HEY. I'M GAY." I think the reason of the rainbow phase was just because I don't "look gay" and so I wanted everyone to know all at once without having to come out to every person individually. Stamping it on your forehead is one way to communicate that point.
I always make it a point to ask "Are you dating/seeing someone?" rather than "Do you have a boy/girlfriend?" because I don't want to push anyone into answering specific questions based on gender. It's just easier and more polite. When someone asks me that way, I think "Wow. You really thought about that. Thank you!"
When someone asks "if u have a boyfriend" answer honestly and just say "no i dont " because its completely true. U dont. And if they continue to ask if ur dating someone then mention it. Only answer the question at hand.
oh man, i had it happen to me today! the woman that gives me a ride to school was like, "you should stop by today to pray. Vidal [one of the guys in the car] is going to pray for his girlfriend. you should pray for your boyfriend" and it was just so awkward. i was just like "uh.. i don't have a boyfriend. i.. have a girlfriend." ..and she just kept giving me weird looks. :/
I'm a bank teller and I get older women or just an older crowd always saying," you should meet my son," or "what did your boyfriend get you for christmas?". I have a hard time saying, "sorry, I can't meet your son because 1.i'm gay and 2. my girlfriend wouldn't like that very much," or "sorry i don't have a boyfriend; but, my girlfriend gave me ___,". I always just leave it out but my coworkers laugh when they hear someone ask me that question because i'm out to them.
Also this vid was perfect timing because I've recently had people ask me if i have a boyfriend or not. The first thing that pops into my head is, am I going to be rude if I tell them that I'm gay?
Of course I'm not being rude and like you said, I'm not going to be on my high horse with that part of me. lol
when they asked how to not make them feel uncomfortable, i think its actually just in how you say it. if you act all offended and go NO I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND all fast and rude then yeah. just say it nice!
thanks so much for answering my question (i gotta admit being a weekly baby beav watcher i was very excited when you picked my question!) really good advice! thanks so much.
I love how you state whatever you're getting at. So, I have a teacher I look up to. He asked my if I had a boyfriend and I said, "NOO!" I don't have a girlfriend either. So, what do I tell him?
this video totally inspired me to come out to my chiropractor, who i see weekly and who consistently tells my father, "he needs to hunt down my boyfriend because kissing him is whats screwing up my back"
hah.
but actually, i think this week, imma say something along the lines of, "it's the girls you gotta worry about"
If any of the Minnesotan gays have an issue with coming out to their doctor, they need only look as far as the Rainbow Health Initiative. They are very sensitive to the needs of the LGBT community, and by walking in the building, you've already come out to your doctor. It's that easy.
i guess it's easier to "come out" to random people (or anyone really) when you actually have a girlfriend but when you don't it's completely different cause i mean.. it kinda feels strange to mention in a conversation that we're gay or whatever we are... cause if we were straight we wouldn't do it so why do it when we're not... what you guys think ?
ive done that before, like casually coming out to people i dont know that well by saying something along the lines of "my girlfriend and i" and then they just think its a friend thats a girl. and then its even more awkward when i have to explain that thats not what i meant haha
Gay or not gay...that really shouldn't be A factor in liking or disliking anyone...I know people that are sucky people no matter their orientation sexually...I just like nice people with out the sticky little "oh no they're gay" crap...I wish more people could see past the parts that really don't matter...be what ever you want to be if you are happy with your life and your girl friend is A nice person than I accept you just as you are! My sister is gay, my uncle is gay and I love them a lot!
i outted myself to my dr today ha
babiigurrl92 1 day ago
your beautiful
itsnotforyou26 7 months ago
Your teeth are so white
Radiostar2323 1 year ago
gay worms! eeeeeeeeeeeeevv! xD
Ladypurpulhair 1 year ago
I live in aspen! I wish I knew you were in town! shoot!
blackbuddha6 1 year ago
lol yesss i still do that to i said it the same time u said lol haha
SuperChris2727 1 year ago
that's good u don't deny ur gf :)
SuperChris2727 1 year ago
thats good u don't hide it
SuperChris2727 1 year ago
u have the prettiest blue eyes
SuperChris2727 1 year ago
gay woooorms! You're too cute!
ThatsSoMe7 2 years ago
You are so comfortable on camera. I want to start my own channel. What are some thing that helped you early in your tubing lol? Oh and Thanks your wonderful.
slcarrodegua 2 years ago
We, as a group, really need to stop worrying about other people's comfort and just be honest. If someone is asking you if you have a boyfriend, they are broaching the subject and invading your privacy by asking that question, so, telling them that you have a girlfriend is just you being honest.
Personally, I just wear my "I'm not gay, but my girlfriend is!" T-shirt. It's a good conversation starter and the looks on some people's faces, as they try to solve that riddle, are priceless.
XanxiuZ 2 years ago 3
gay worms!
and i don't know about anyone else, but i totally do the arm-pump-'yusss'
viciousandchaotic 2 years ago 2
yesss i still do that
vampirefan49 2 years ago
I see you have a lot of tattoos and I was wondering
Do you regret any of your tattoos?
Or like if you could go back would you stop yourself from getting them?
Im just wondering cause I want one but a few people have told me that I will regret it
I dont think I will but thats what they keep telling me.
emmanoelle15 2 years ago
hahahaha can of gay worms :]
ClubSkirtsDinahShore 2 years ago
Your eyes are super blue this week. ;)
lschil2 2 years ago
Anyone else picture a bunch of rainbow coloured worms? I mean.. a can of gay worms.
I think sometimes it is almost needed to come out to your doctor. Once, a few years ago my doctor assumed I was stright and asked if I could be pregnant . When I said no, he did not quite believe me. Then I told him that if my gf had gotten me pregnant then she would have some explaining to do.
Zendrea 2 years ago 2
All in favor of What Would Jess Do? wristbands haha?
gijohazelwoods 2 years ago 4
@gijohazelwoods Ha - Plan!
xxXxSiLeNcExXxx 2 years ago
@gijohazelwoods haha totally
sjg500 2 years ago
I still do that as well!
Suee32 2 years ago
Hi Jess, I completely agree with you. As a future dentist myself, I'd appreciate my patients opening up to me and sharing that aspect of their lives. If a doctor tries to dismiss you or say something that is uncalled for, drop them and look for queer-friendly dentists and physicians in your local LGBT newspaper or website.
QueeringDentistry 2 years ago
sometime you just hafta forget what other people might think and just be you, i mean just say it,you know if you lie about you'll just gonna end up regrettin and feelin like shit later but yeah =) im new to youtube so i'm really enjoyin these videos
minimoon2189 2 years ago
wow you are so awesome.!! so glad i found you
grapessss 2 years ago
i do what lori does and say oh i'm dating someone or i'm not dating anyone right now
deltapep 2 years ago
Right on Jess! If some gets uncomfortable talking about your personal life, that's there problem! Especially when they are the ones that are asking about it.
Lorinwv 2 years ago
If someone is embarrassed because they assumed you had a boyfriend (or girlfriend..whatever) I think it's nice to put them at ease if you can. People make assumptions all the time, and not from a bad place just from habit sometimes.
nzellen 2 years ago
you're absolutely right, it's not up to you to make the other person feel comfortable, that shouldn't be a reason to avoid the topic. and that pretty much goes with every aspect of yourself!!!
bluepurpleglasses 2 years ago
i still say yesssss and the arm thing cuz i am a dork
softballluver90 2 years ago
aspen dumb and dumber haha good movie
softballluver90 2 years ago
i hesitated with the docter, but i was like fuck it.
CaptianMajic 2 years ago
I was at lunch with a couple people I met recently, and I can't remember what we were talking about but, one of them said "wouldn't you think it was weird if your boyfriend.. or your.." I was thrown off guard and couldn't even prepare a response before she corrected herself. It was kinda weird, but we kinda shared an understanding glance and all was well.
JordmanKNOWS 2 years ago
That's why people shouldn't say your boyfriend or girlfriend if they are not 110% about your sexuality. Just say significant other.
sonjunkie 2 years ago
you're adorable.
however, your doctor does need to know your sexuality for health reasons. the dentist... not so much.
sidereally 2 years ago
Oh ya.. that awkward hesitation that you hope they don't sense because you dont want it to seam like you are uncomfortable with it so that then they feel uncomfortable with it.. ya. shitty! I HATE those situations.. why can't people just say are you dating SOMEONE... Yes or no. DONE
LLEBNAX 2 years ago
Yeah I do that "yes" thing sometimes, like if I'm playing sports or something and my team wins xD
Minireb123 2 years ago
You tell when you're asked, right? And about your doctor, this is what I've learned (from gay health centers here in Norway): If you're for a gyno, you should tell. And if there's anything else related to health, you should tell. But I guess it's not necessary to do if that's not the case...
HMSunnyMH 2 years ago
norway woot woot! great vid!
RealLoveNeverEnds1 2 years ago
i really like this topic, i find myself in this situation a lot. Good advice Jess, thank you :)
qbambina06 2 years ago
Haha! This made me laugh the other day I was getting a pedicure with my Mom and the woman asked if I had a boyfriend and before I could even say anything my Mom blurted out "No, she has a girlfriend and she's great!" Thanks Mom.
lezloop 2 years ago 6
i am glad for this topic cos i was just thinking about it this morning, im glad im not the only one that has a slight hesitation when telling almost strangers.
katty1234 2 years ago
I totally still do that! Yeeessss!
SamanthaZero34 2 years ago
They do what they have to do because it's their job.
DAVETYIOP 2 years ago
I totally get what you mean about the moment.
Your heart kinda stops and you totally pay attention to the person to see what they'll do =P
britkimberlylegere 2 years ago
lol i like how you pointed to monday. like it is a concrete object
elysianpiece 2 years ago
I've been dying to get to this topic. But the problem I have with telling people that aren't that close, like people you meet for the first time, is that they DON'T ask if I have a boyfriend. And I don't have a girlfriend, so it's not like I can bring her up in conversation. So what do you do then? I really find it hard just to bring it up casually. But I think some people really just need to know, especially guys. I hope one of you touches on this later in the week. It still was a great video!
chocogirl30 2 years ago 3
Baby dyke phase - everything rainbow. I'm glad it passed in about a year. Now I'm much less "HEY. I'M GAY." I think the reason of the rainbow phase was just because I don't "look gay" and so I wanted everyone to know all at once without having to come out to every person individually. Stamping it on your forehead is one way to communicate that point.
overheadmarker 2 years ago
I always make it a point to ask "Are you dating/seeing someone?" rather than "Do you have a boy/girlfriend?" because I don't want to push anyone into answering specific questions based on gender. It's just easier and more polite. When someone asks me that way, I think "Wow. You really thought about that. Thank you!"
cutewitch772 2 years ago 10
When someone asks "if u have a boyfriend" answer honestly and just say "no i dont " because its completely true. U dont. And if they continue to ask if ur dating someone then mention it. Only answer the question at hand.
YeahThatLeft 2 years ago 5
agreed.
lunargirlxx 2 years ago
oh man, i had it happen to me today! the woman that gives me a ride to school was like, "you should stop by today to pray. Vidal [one of the guys in the car] is going to pray for his girlfriend. you should pray for your boyfriend" and it was just so awkward. i was just like "uh.. i don't have a boyfriend. i.. have a girlfriend." ..and she just kept giving me weird looks. :/
filthyveganpunk 2 years ago
Brilliant vlog.
Much love!!
Angieanything 2 years ago
I'm a bank teller and I get older women or just an older crowd always saying," you should meet my son," or "what did your boyfriend get you for christmas?". I have a hard time saying, "sorry, I can't meet your son because 1.i'm gay and 2. my girlfriend wouldn't like that very much," or "sorry i don't have a boyfriend; but, my girlfriend gave me ___,". I always just leave it out but my coworkers laugh when they hear someone ask me that question because i'm out to them.
binkita007 2 years ago 2
Oo the hat makes your eyes crazy blue! Beautiful!
mihomi98 2 years ago 4
you can totally do the "yes!" thing with your arm, it's the 90s!
pete275 2 years ago 3
hell yeah!
musicalmeal 2 years ago
This was great advice, even for me. :)
Also this vid was perfect timing because I've recently had people ask me if i have a boyfriend or not. The first thing that pops into my head is, am I going to be rude if I tell them that I'm gay?
Of course I'm not being rude and like you said, I'm not going to be on my high horse with that part of me. lol
GREAT VID! :D
marisolvelazquez218 2 years ago
loooove the hat! and your eyes are gorgeous. love you, jess!!! you're my favorite beav!
banditluva 2 years ago
love your videos!!! thank you! xoxo
chloemad 2 years ago
Arnt worms asexual. or both male and female. i dont remeber hard to remeber biology diseccion.
dragonquestking 2 years ago
Asexual.. They have both male and female parts. :D
ALIROX931 2 years ago
when they asked how to not make them feel uncomfortable, i think its actually just in how you say it. if you act all offended and go NO I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND all fast and rude then yeah. just say it nice!
standcm12 2 years ago
Big can of gay worms... now there's a mental image.
eclectricjack 2 years ago
my new hairdresser asked me if i had a bf today, i just said "no" haha didn't want to open up a can of gay worms. ha
imagurlinlove 2 years ago 4
the most beautiful blue eyes
cogitational 2 years ago
i still do the "YHESSSS!!!" thing. although i'm not sure how much i contribute to its cool factor lol.
crutches13 2 years ago 4
Jess you're beautiful.
If only you were single
And live in DC.
hah a girl can dream right?!
RachelWolman 2 years ago 2
thanks so much for answering my question (i gotta admit being a weekly baby beav watcher i was very excited when you picked my question!) really good advice! thanks so much.
singerbabee14 2 years ago
I love how you state whatever you're getting at. So, I have a teacher I look up to. He asked my if I had a boyfriend and I said, "NOO!" I don't have a girlfriend either. So, what do I tell him?
ALIROX931 2 years ago
that was cute at the end. good topic. good video. yesssss
wayfarer628 2 years ago
Dentists? Naw. I don't think my sexuality is very relevant to my dental hygiene.
Doctors? Yes. I do think that your gyno should at least know. xD
MistressTracy 2 years ago 2
I am not gay, but I agree with you.
iheartyou4ever115 2 years ago
you just came out to a random youtuber just to say that you agree to not come out to people when it's not relevant. that's kinda funny.
pete275 2 years ago
LOL I didn't
iheartyou4ever115 2 years ago
coming out as straight is still coming out :p
pete275 2 years ago 3
dude your eyes look mad blue in this video and that was great advice your like my adviser lady dude person... yay your awsome 8D
just1mebabe 2 years ago
I do the fist thing when I say yes, but, I'm not the most normal person in the world, so maybe it's not the cool thing. Who knows?
raspberrylucky 2 years ago
a good question
i always just say no and leave it at that
but mabe i wont now
TheKarson93 2 years ago
well put jess. (:
this video totally inspired me to come out to my chiropractor, who i see weekly and who consistently tells my father, "he needs to hunt down my boyfriend because kissing him is whats screwing up my back"
hah.
but actually, i think this week, imma say something along the lines of, "it's the girls you gotta worry about"
(:
CarolinesCute 2 years ago 2
Oh Jess you're so cute :)
I love the advice you give, so honest and sincere.
123MikeyGo 2 years ago
Gay worms. Enough said.
eyeballgoop 2 years ago 3
If any of the Minnesotan gays have an issue with coming out to their doctor, they need only look as far as the Rainbow Health Initiative. They are very sensitive to the needs of the LGBT community, and by walking in the building, you've already come out to your doctor. It's that easy.
mnbutch 2 years ago
i love ur vids! ♥
btw wht can i say if i don't have a girlfriend?
situation:
'so... do u have a boyfriend?'
'nope'
'well...u'll find a nice man for u'<--- often said by old ladys
and i don't want to be rude and tell them
'I don't want a nice man! i like girls ¬¬" '
PS: gay worms LOL
gabs330 2 years ago 4
i guess it's easier to "come out" to random people (or anyone really) when you actually have a girlfriend but when you don't it's completely different cause i mean.. it kinda feels strange to mention in a conversation that we're gay or whatever we are... cause if we were straight we wouldn't do it so why do it when we're not... what you guys think ?
Amandinedinedine 2 years ago 3
i love aspen!!
Kademarshall 2 years ago
ive done that before, like casually coming out to people i dont know that well by saying something along the lines of "my girlfriend and i" and then they just think its a friend thats a girl. and then its even more awkward when i have to explain that thats not what i meant haha
bornadisaster911 2 years ago
hahah the "YES" is still very cool to do :D
TeamBaha 2 years ago
yes to the yes pump
girltrude 2 years ago
Gay or not gay...that really shouldn't be A factor in liking or disliking anyone...I know people that are sucky people no matter their orientation sexually...I just like nice people with out the sticky little "oh no they're gay" crap...I wish more people could see past the parts that really don't matter...be what ever you want to be if you are happy with your life and your girl friend is A nice person than I accept you just as you are! My sister is gay, my uncle is gay and I love them a lot!
PianoMusicPage 2 years ago 6
hahaha "gay...worms".
Jess, you seriously make my mondays complete.
thanks again for your awesomeness!
-JP
JPgonPro17 2 years ago 10
nice vid :)
TheYolk 2 years ago
<=D
brittanykayseas 2 years ago