Brooke Alvarez Can Speak News In Any Language

[MattS3NTM]

aww she tried!!

[HornetsAustriaWien]

I'm Austrian and I thought her pronounciation was hilarious :) please don't throw us into a bowl with the Germans, our sense of humour is much better.

[owner876]

WHY NO HEBREW!? למהההההההההההההההההההההההההההה­ה?!

[svenjeder]

Augh...why did she stress antworten like that?

[Chimeraniue]

Gad vide om hun taler dansk?

[Parz1fal]

Whoas dankan zee when loyteah deer froawgen owssprakn stellan dee zee nickt spreckan? Schatt app, Bitsch ännd pronauntz it propperlie. Zeeg Hyle!

[caliphkaai]

I just learn Elementary German earlier this year and hearing her pronunciation kills me.

[ladawg81]

A по русскому?

[rijekarastocine]

OH MY GOOOOOOOD is this supposed to be funny Brooke?

Your German is so terrible that I could die! Just die!!!

Your making a fool out of yourself instead of being funny.

[MidnightAngel357]

That German makes my German sound like a sexy native speaker.

[FoxNewzLies]

103 men and 14 lesbians hate intelligent blondes. 

[usert777]

omg your German is EL TERRIBLEEE

[mojoboy1984]

What happened to that video " Help ! My vagina can't feel " she made one week ago ? Is it removed ?

[jimbeen1771]

i fucking hate brooke alvarez shit it's not funnny. don't be a sell out, OnionNews

[dookdawg214]

Pute.

[gctechs]

Poka Cycki! Take that bitch! :)

[ForceRecon198]

Great. Foreigners patting themselves on the back because they can speak a language better than a satirical character on a fake news show.

[7th75thCallaghan]

@ForceRecon198 You realise that you are a foreigner right? This is the internet kiddo.

[TheSpiritOfTheTimes]

@ForceRecon198 It was almost insulting the way she pronounced it. Like you get random letters and than you try to pronounce them.

[Maxim1990]

hahahah she is hilarious, but her German is so aweful

[Sammys09]

all I see is NECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dmckoy91]

id hit that

[kissit012]

Brooke is ruining the Onion for me. I used to like her when I didnt have to see her everytime I watched the news.The Onion had one solid hit when they introduced her and now they've become like Dreamworks- milking anything good till its ash-dry. I used to be proud to say that The Onion was my only reliable news source, now I guess its back to Fox.

[Ralroost]

Oh jesus, I hope they never have her speak german again. If that can be called german.

[vladekm]

I challenge you to respond in eastern european, suko!

[Apache22]

Very funny but a little bit of a rip off of Old Spice Guy?

[elhacienda]

The portuguese part is bloody awful!

[Xezatt]

why only german you bitch!

[2xtrbo]

Nice eyelid surgery.

[oliverlaw02]

Bring back Anette she's more sexy than this blonde and even if they are times when she's not funny she makes good eye candy.

[dulcetAirman]

that German was terrible!! but i still thought it was funny. (maybe just because of the terrible German?)

[cmanleyspy]

i'd like to handle her

[MutantRomance]

I think this is the first unfunny video that I've ever watched from The Onion. Undefeated no longer...

I suppose I'll be steering clear of any more Brooke Alvarez vids, thank you.

[2qewl4u]

Try Arabic. That would sound hilarious.

[595o]

The German was horrible on so many, even the question itself.

[foxygrampa101]

She's the female Ron Swanson.

[darkmannin]

I'm portuguese and I speak german and her pronounciation of both was so bad it made me chuckle. Duuur no speaky news so gud. Thank you and good night.

[Tzench]

@darkmannin I seriously thought she was trying to speak Dutch.

[ddiimmee]

@darkmannin you're Portuguese sorry to hear that

[TrickKae]

@darkmannin

Yeah, because she totally isn't reading off a script......

[kylem1112]

@darkmannin Well the way you speak english probably sounds funny too.

[Nocturnalux]

@darkmannin Heh, same here. I couldn't recognize it was even supposed to be Portuguese, at least the German was recognizable as such. It only makes it more hilarious.

[MrRicarium]

@darkmannin OMG I'm portuguese and i didn't even noticed she was talking portuguese that sounded so bad. hahahaha

[freiwildvideo]

Her German was pretty understandable - unlike many of my contrypeople's english.

[FistyCarrera]

Her German's terrible. Jaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Bashaza]

@FistyCarrera

schnauze

[FistyCarrera]

@Bashaza Ihr Versuch Deutsch zu sprechen ist mehr als misslungen. Ich musste mich konzentrieren, um überhaupt etwas zu verstehen. Daher, halt Du doch die Schnauze.

[Bashaza]

@FistyCarrera

Wen du zu dumm bist um Humor zu verstehen kann dir keiner helfen...

[sabbyreloaded]

@FistyCarrera Horrible

[inconcordium]

Worst German pronunciation ever.

Not too late to go back to your career as a stripper, bitch.

[MaxVerhaag]

@inconcordium haha yeah i agree:P should have taken some lessons:P

[themanwiththepan]

@inconcordium

Mine would be worse.

[Dem0nz890]

shes just as hot as other news anchors <3

[Layz13laosboi]

Rosetta stone! Haha

[aahlstrom93]

So many fuckin' nazis man, so many fuckin' nazis!

[CyberVsWolverine]

pinche perra

[Jh5kRadio]

이것을 이예하면, 대답하슈~.

[hyperdemented]

Jetzt habe ich Lust auf ein Schnitzel bekommen.

[feckadoodlethe2nd]

@hyperdemented That sounds rather tasty.

[Gnometower]

Aber immerhin hat Brooke schöne Titten.

[schwiiZZZ]

SHUT THE FXXXXXXK UP!!

[tigersfanatic98]

speak mandarin chinese

[123maggen]

she's kinda like a female chuck norris

[moriya2k2]

Well we know she speaks Russian...lol

[Wetartdedboi]

But will it blend?

[XJuanwikoX]

@Wetartdedboi ahahahahahaha...lol.. ahaha you made me fucking piss my pants... has been a while since I haven't seen the video's of , would it blend? haha funny as fuck

[kabelfjernsyn]

Ich mag

[ArcticZ0NE]

im losing interest. i loved your vids like the mac wheel and video game on shooting heads, but the newer ones just suck

[Darkel08]

What a cunning linguist.

[DeafeningSirens]

I think you Onion folks are making too many skits with Brooke Alvarez. We need more well-written news videos from the Onion. The clever satire is what got me into it in the first place. Thumbs up if you agree. I want them to see this.

[tctheunbeliever]

If you work for FoxNews you only have to be able to speak Bullshit.

[DickCheneyXX]

@tctheunbeliever Redneck also works.

[skeezervision]

NUTTIN. --- Sent From TheOnion's AppRats (Facebook App)!

[Daiabolical]

Bet she can't speak Cymraeg.

[LayZn3ss]

does anybody else find these brook alvarez skits not funny or is it just me?

[Camboninja94]

@LayZn3ss Thank you! These and the sports ones suck, they need to bring back the Today Now videos.

[JIYkp]

@LayZn3ss Mare than finding it funny, I really like the segments. Her personality is more interesting than funny.

[Jinxxed0]

@LayZn3ss it's like they're trying to make her seem like a popular and interesting character. they should be milking the other news characters that are much more funny.

[crazybraeden]

@LayZn3ss Just you and 47 other people

[NegritaTanRica]

@LayZn3ss Not just you. They are extrememly boring and unfunny. I'd rather watch the movie review series that The Onion had for a a while instead.

[jnthnbush]

@LayZn3ss they are ok, worth watching

[chakra25king]

@LayZn3ss eh, hit n' miss.

[CAR18MEN]

@LayZn3ss i disagree

[Ryan2142]

@LayZn3ss they were good at first, but getting old fast. We get it, she's a bitch stereotype newswoman. Joke over.

[BoltaVS]

@LayZn3ss i also don't find her sexy...

[AndreasSheiLT]

@LayZn3ss the "funny" part is that these are amazingly pointless!! they are not meant to make you LOL, just to cheer you up!

[AmayaChosha]

@LayZn3ss That got 150 likes, but the whole video has only 101 dislikes!

[marekiller8]

@LayZn3ss 154 people thumbed up your comment but only 104 people disliked this video.

You can't explain that!

[Faladrin]

So Brooke, how about some russian... or chimpanzee? Monkey got your hair!

[stuffhistory]

was ist das accent. es ist nicht schweiz oder deutsch. das ist shisshaus

[HigherrConsciousness]

@robotpanda77 priceless

[chakra25king]

@robotpanda77 sarah palin?

[culwin]

I had 3 years of German in high school and even I can tell that German was pretty rough.

[SabinleRose]

Klingon?

[grillonic]

Cutest MILF ever

[MrTheEggman]

This was actually the most boring reptillian video I've seen in ages.

[To411u]

Greek!!! Speak Greek or Hebrew!

[fdjizm]

Brooke ALVAREZ, doesn't speak spanish? lol

[extremereading1]

every language? Kobon? Mele? Archi?

[me1onhead]

Someone ought ask her a question in Welsh.

[mryellow123]

Amazing to watch TheOnion views decline as more of these stupid "we have Brooke haha awesome joke" are posted.

[hennessyjason1]

You should wear hoodies with The Onion News Network logo on it, then cut you sleeves like Bill Belichick. It is the perfect "I am better than all you move."

[NeccoWecco]

It sounded like a Finlander speaking German

[AgentZeroTutorial]

M pa fin kwe que Brooke Alvarez konn pale tou lang non mwenm menm

[jahlinem]

@AgentZeroTutorial: Mpa two panse sa tou non pa m.

[suicideposter]

Why do I always find myself pausing two seconds in to look at Brooke's ass?

[jellybeanboxing]

Perhaps it was just a different dialect, but something about her Portuguese was off. Ah well.

[jaydubyuel]

BTW I think everyone is entitled to speak their minds here in any language necessary. That is why Brooke is here to translate.

[Jindynasty92]

brooke is too good

[iannetta11]

I speak fluent gibberish.

[SuperCheezyGuy]

ეს არის ჩემი ენის კაცი! მე საქართველოში (ამერიკა)

[SuperCheezyGuy]

Hallo Erdnussbutter ich tue nichts Böses pie Pfanne Fischstäbchen Bier Kühe machen Schweinefleisch Schweine fressen Reporter und ist mir egal. Jetzt übersetzen, dass.

[vonAlec]

@SuperCheezyGuy Hello I am doing nothing wrong peanut butter pie pan fish sticks beer pork pigs cows do eat reporters and I do not care. Now translate that.

[radicalhit]

malai brooke alvarez manai pardaina. pyaz samachar purano bato januu paryo.

[ReiGrim]

Was? Ohne Ubesatzung, verstehe ich nicht was sie sagt.

[theHaxprocessor]

@ReiGrim

Was denken Sie, wenn Leute Ihnen Fragen stellen auf Sprachen die sie nicht sprechen können? Auf welche Sprache beantworten Sie diese Frage? Natürliche beantworte ich auf Deutsch!!

[PonyofDuality]

But can you reproduce by budding?

Kenya?

Kenya?

Kenya?

[bush0165]

Brooke Alvarez ist fast nie lustig. the Onion war besser bevor sie angefangen hat.

[daaaaaawg]

@bush0165 gz on your german, is sit your mother tongue?

[bush0165]

@daaaaaawg nein, ich versuche einfach verstanden zu werden (und die Sprache zu üben)

[BatcaveDilemma]

@bush0165

Doch, she ist wahrschienlich nie lustig -_-;

[NiePatrzSieTutaj]

@bush0165 ahahahha....

Chuj ci w dupe.

[hannesH3]

@bush0165 stimmt, aber sie ist hübsch!

[GBXS]

@bush0165 I know brother, I know.

[Babbe]

Repeat after me, Brooke: vesihiisi sihisi hississä.

[Indijxas]

Okay then, Say: Šešios žąsys su šešiais žąsyčiais.

[PerchickSpore]

:D OMG... her german is awful xDD

[brownbear696969]

Ni shi yi ga bai guay

[AbdulAziz348]

I dare you to speak Arabic.

[mollie2810]

Ich hab kein Wort verstanden.

[Vakrian]

rød grød med fløde ^^ try that brook

[voyeurdug]

jajajaja... after 9/11, was "amused*" to hear respected anchors speaking of Afghanistan's capital city as: kah-BOOOL vs. KAH-bul... and anyone in the newsbiz, after Vietnam, who demonstrates total ignorance of U.S. military nomenclature.

* Not amused... not at all.

[thefinalpie]

But the true question is, can she speak Canadian?

[AVM102296]

@thefinalpie No one can speak Canadian

[cnralph]

@thefinalpie Can Soviet Russia speak Brooke?

[NOLIMIT69NOLIMIT2000]

@thefinalpie Fuck Canada.

[LurkerPatrol5]

She wears the same outfit for each one of these... which must mean they've recorded all this beforehand and are just putting them up as they go?

[mryellow123]

@LurkerPatrol5 yup... TheOnion gave up producing good content. They shot a bunch of these lame Brooke videos in a couple of hours a few months ago and have just been trickle posting them. One day they may start producing funny and timely content again, but don't hold your breath.

[takatakatang]

@LurkerPatrol5 she wears the same "hootee" as she calls it every time to make her seem more casual. she doesn't have a whole closet full of casual clothes cuz she is brooke alvarez. anyway thats my spin on it.

[JoshuaRosenberg2010]

The whole joke was that she didn't actually answer in German but in English.

[sambugbug]

>>@JoshuaRosenberg2010 you sir are god

[mamushi72sai5575]

この女可笑しくない？　何で皆好きか？　訳分からん。

[jaydubyuel]

@mamushi72sai5575 この番組はFOX Newsの風刺だから。

[mamushi72sai5575]

@jaydubyuel なるほど。　Ｆｏｘにこんなに自慢してる奴がいる？

[jaydubyuel]

@mamushi72sai5575 そう。FOXのみんなが真実を歪めてしまうがち。

[mamushi72sai5575]

@jaydubyuel そうね　あいつらは右すぎでしょう

[snsd1369]

pas terible !

[eddiespencer1]

I only speak American so I don't understand all this French talk.

[ezelouie]

@eddiespencer1 I only speak Australian, I have no idea what you just said...

[eddiespencer1]

@ezelouie

What???

[blackhat2005]

\/\/|-|@7 @60u7  |_337-$p3@k

[TNTLotLP]

I'm dutch, and that sounded more like Drenths, if anyone knows what I'm talking about (the rural part of holland)

[daggerGforcefahrer]

gefällt mir :D

[icbeodragon]

As usual, Germans don't understand humor. Portugal, you're getting there!

[AustrianChaos]

@icbeodragon

So, is that the reason why their economy is so much better?

[LibertineDeSade]

You guys complaining about the accent must all be mentally deficient. It was part of the joke!

[pimpinisanart]

That was horrible german and nowhere near dutch!

[BigDuda93]

Im portuguese, and that was not portuguese!

[zzyzx0788]

I'm not too fond of these Brooke Alvarez segments.... they should really just bring back Joad Cressbeckler or some Steve Hoyer clips. Could never get enough of that

[toriseja666]

а по-русски?

[TheBlitZzHD]

WTF she Speaks deutsch but uses à norwegian accent

[willshakeyou]

A menos que prefira portugues??? brazilian portuguese, and still awful lol



[luisramos123]

don't know about the german but that was some awful portuguese

[expIorer5148]

The Onion hates liars. That's why they're the most legit news source in the world.

[stillw3]

this journalism shit must suck ass bad...

[formerutuber]

Wenn is das nunstruck git und slaughtermeyer. Ja, beyerhund das oder die flipperwault gersput.

[gulllars]

@formerutuber WTF dude? Just random german words set up to look like sentences...