Previous Lovers - I'm Not Her First! How Can I Forgive Her?

[Secretariat442]

I think you guys give great advice but it probably isn't a good idea to respond with someone's question by saying they have a "dysfunctional way of thinking" on the matter. It's true, this person is probably insecure and may need help. But don't make your askers feel bad about asking a question. I've thought this on other videos that I have watched on this channel, not just on this one.

[mehhornybitch]

i find this guy who is asking the question ridiculous because he cant forgive her when its noot her fault!!! i mean if he's her third boyfriend then he just has to suck it in, too bad he was a little late. Its not her fault that he didnt meet her earlier. i dont get y hes asking how he can FORGIVE her when it was actually his fault for not meeting her earlier.

[mtzaaaaa]

I understand that everybody want premarital sex but a girl who had sex is not somebody that i can commit with all my heart.

[raymondava]

@mtzaaaaa what if that girl is the one that you have always been wanting ?? well you love her, but you still have that bitter feeling inside you that come from your wish - that will never be fulfilled- to be the only man with whom she slept.. this is soo confusing and really can cause a great bitterness inside a man :(

[manlykscorpa]

the thing i hate is that my girlfriend was highly sexually active before. i only been with 2 girls before her and she'd been with 7 guys. what i hated was that i was so in experienced and she was she never seemed to be excited as me about doing it or wanting it. and cos she didn't like things before she doesn't wanna try em with me. i feel compared and shit. i mean wouldn't that piss u off

[mehhornybitch]

@manlykscorpa if u fink of et the past doesnt really matter! the only fing dat matter is the present. and even if your girlfwen has more experience than you, it still in the past. once its past let it past. y b so piss wen et alredie happend? i mean if shes lyk having sex wif 7 guys dat da moment den u shuud make a big deal out of et, bhut shes not so y worry so much? shes wif you now and you shud b greatful. a girl is lyk a flower you shud really treat her wif respect

[manlykscorpa]

@mehhornybitch but the problem was that they changed who she was. y have sex wit a guy if u not gonna stay with him.. i was a virgin with her and she liked it but i couldn't say the same thing about her. And she always used to compare me with the guys she been with and i can't stop thinking bout them if they're the reason she took so long to open with me.. she opened with them so quickly and i am pissed at that fact. if it's in the past and stayed in the past i wouldn't know bout her sex life

[dastardlyrush]

@manlykscorpa i feel you man. thats exactly my situation. amen brother. ur the realist guy ive ever seen on youtube

[manlykscorpa]

@dastardlyrush u get my point now at least u do.. after 10 months of putting up with it that pain was never going away and I ended up leaving and finding the girl I always been wanting

[dominoeangel]

It is good he thinks on this.

Better being honest than be bitter. This just wasn't the type of question to ask in this box

:)

I hope he asked someone (well they...it was her feelings too) else as well. It is good to ask more than one.

[intanjible]

It all boils down to male insecurity. Over the past several decades, males have been indoctrinated with the dogma that the female orgasm is the be all end all of exclusive interpersonal relationships, neglecting that the journey is just as important as the destination. No guy wants to believe that any other person has or could induce the same reaction or better in a girl he's with, and the thought that others have and will do that again sends him into a panic.

[zacinfinite]

virginity is not disjoint from character. every person she slept with has made up her personality! I had a nonvirgin gf but soon got frustrated with her bad character and bad family background. Its wiser to look for a virgin with good family background, it pays in time especially when her nonvirginity is irritating you. But if it doesnt bother u, go on with it.....................

[miakitty91]

this guy doesnt even say if hes a virgin. if he wasnt, why is it ok for him to have had sex with other girls, but not for her to have sex with other guys...? double standard much?

[LadyDiscordAphrodite]

Boo hoo.

This isn't the medieval ages. Still this dumb double-standard remains, if he'd gotten it on with three girls he'd be "the man" and yet she did something horribly wrong?

Dude rejoice, she's comfortable with sex, she's with YOU now, get the heck over it! Just be pleased to know she enjoys herself when you two are getting it on. Lord!

[MsJake991]

y da hell r all da posts being removed?

[intanjible]

@MsJake991 If they're constructed anything like your botched abortion of a query then I'm thankful to know they're gone.

[diaana85]

Men feel its their right to be their gfs first. Because men feel more safe with a virgin. A virgin is a girl who doesnt go out alot, no parties, night life etc, they are just nice homely girls, and men like nice homely girls lol....

[diaana85]

But never marry a girl for her statue of a virgin or for her statue of a non virgin. That should never bee the ONLY important thing if you wanna stay with her or not. If it is, then its fake love and fake feelings!!! You should be with her for who she is, not for a hole! :p :)) sorry lol

If she happens to be a virgin then its a cherry on the top of the cake :)

[Adventfred]

Fuck religion

everyone fuck girls and guys

just be safe

[diaana85]

its a teritory behaviour from men, they like to be the females first lover. Its in mens nature that they dont like women who have a rich sexuall history.... men are the stronger party, they just cant swallow it easily, cuz from the girls past he can make a picture of her!

most girls i guess wouldnt mind if their bf had- i dont know how many- gfs before her.... men do :) ... well, alot of men do... mens vanity :D

[alapunk13]

i agree....

[bigfrancis2000]

same problem here. my girlfriend no longer a virgin, im her fourth bf,, and she said she had only had sex with her ex for 5-6 times. im having a hard time believing her because they were together for 11 months, yet we already did it 7 times and we've only been together for 3 months... am i right ...?? should i believe her??

[thiamin100]

what business is it of yours anyway?

so so lame and pathetic.

[cannibale101]

Why are you boys supposed to FORGIVE girls for having their own lives? Is having a past a sin? I mean, I just think that "forgive" isn't the right term ; hey, do you really think you will fall in love with virgins for the rest of your lives?? It's just normal, nobody's alike.

[mcbam989]

Im 19 a virgin and my gf is 21 and lost hers around 15 16 she dosent excatly rember I had trubble with it at 1st but I love her so I got over it and Im gonna have sex with her I've waited long enough

[vishva8kumara]

So, what is about asking for an STD test...

[CAMANCHE512]

fuck that loose pussy bitch jennifer you dont know what that guys going through and dan go suck on a black meaty cock you fagget!

[shecries8989]

I recently got engaged and the only problem we have is he makes me feel guilty when we fight what can I do to save the realasionship?

[cannibale101]

Why does he do that? I'm sorry but I don't think it is your responsibility to try to save a relationship in which you are not even respected for what you are. Plus, you can't make him accept you if he doesn't want to - he puts it all on you instead of coping with his own feelings - and he has no right to tell you that what you did BEFORE HIM is wrong towards him. It's nonsense, YOU have no problem, HE does. And I'm sorry if you think that this can't help you. Just start by respecting yourself.

[Thespian1592]

i say she should dump his ass, he can't forget her PAST he doesn't know or doesn't want to see that the past is the past and there's a reason she's with him and not still with them. he should get over his high horse and remember the past is the past and he loves her for her and she loves him for him, if he can't get over it then they shouldn't be together. i made mistakes myself in the past, and my boyfriend understands that it's the past and it's not who i am now and that i love him

[onewhoistoasted]

I am a 35 yr old virgin. I know where the guy is coming from..If he is a virgin also. Some people just can't get past the idea of a girl not being a virgin and how many guys they have been with. If the girl had a kid.. The idea of a baby coming out of her, is a terrifying picture and conciders the girl damaged goods. No it's not her fault. yes you can forgive her. but fro my first time... a female virgin is the only choice.

[firesourcers101]

my girlfriend has had fucking 56 other boyfriends

[Gandocera]

that huge, may be you got only 5-8 except hooker because hooker is not accounted. how can deal with this , it is inequality

[Gandocera]

the women get nervious about it, did you recognise, seh feel guilty

[Gandocera]

its not about fundemantalism , it is about nature of the man

[Gandocera]

free sex causes inequalty berween guys and girls, only rich and hansome guys will be able to reach good score, on teh other hand, guys poor or inactive will be forced to merry the girls who have been fucked by powerfull men..it is unfair.

[mckennydarryl]

my best mate is dating a girl who was a hooker he doesn't care and i don't judge her because we have fucked other girls so why cant she. its not fair that us guys want to hit every piece of ass but a girl has to be a virgin

[Miguelitius]

@mckennydarryl yeah i find that very stupid too you know... but i do understand those guys who ARE virgins but their girlfriends are not... like, you know, every person expects a first time for both, not just one's first time, but both's first time... And it even gets worse if the girl is very young and seems very innocent and stuff, like, you really didn't expect that, it's almost like someone made something to her and you couldn't protect her...

[dominoeangel]

@Miguelitius

Hmmm

Yes / true.  Unfortunataley..when a society is"free" they become careless...teaching us kids to play...

so when we find someone special later...we regret we just filled a biological void instead of really something more.

Now all we can do is Change the present , learning from yesterday :)

[Miguelitius]

@mckennydarryl I'm saying that i do understand this problem because this is my case right now. I really love her and I want to lose my virginity with her... I wish I could forget all her past... but I keep getting very very sad just thinking about it.

[dominoeangel]

@Miguelitius

Good being honest. Never ever think you need "experience" to love though. just in case it ever crosses someone's mind.

Despite what is expressed above. It is sad for some..and that does not make you a bad person :)

[InfernalZone]

There is a strange thinking in men

We all want to take away her first time

But yet we still want a virgin wife

I, personally don't think that is a problem

[jsg103]

nothin wrong with skanks, just wrap it up before you hit it.

[Gandocera]

you are wrong, i dah only two girlfrien while a girl may get fucked 20 times if the are allowed, I can not accept a girl who was fucked by 30 different guy, I beleive british guy dont want to accept it bu they have to, because most girls are fucked.

[TFWC88]

these guys are lame...what does fundamentalism have to do with this?? drakaai is totally right. the guy has a self esteem issue. useful advice came later in the vid.

[ruifiewrfhrwiuhfiu]

some of the stuff u sead thare is grate am a teen am 14 and sex is a big part of life my mum may not no that iv had sex as such but i allwes feel like she knows i use a candom and school sex ed is a joke ppl like u on u tube who yep ppl under stand is what helps thanks am going to whach all 257 videos lol

[polehchoobi]

Instead of thinking about sex, you need to be thinking about learning how to spell. Otherwise you'll have to flip burgers for the rest of your life.

[MattC6Toledo]

u fuk ur girlfriend better den her exs n make her scream

[blacknosugarnocream]

The guy sounds like a character on a crime show who winds up being an abuser or... murderer. Really.

In this day & age he is worried about an adult woman's past boyfriends (their sex life).

Dan said it best... "dysfunctional thinking." The letter writer is irreparably broken. All women should steer clear of him; even virgins.

[karaokesteve]

jesus christ... anybody who thinks like that... haha seriously... loser..

[karaokesteve]

are you fuckin serious????

lol what a faggot. who in the hell cries about ex boyfriends?

i can't believe how gay that immature loser is omg thats so funny

[drakaai]

i think what alot of people don't relize is this might be a selfesteam issue more then anything maybe that guy is just worried about being up to par with her past lovers!

[TheFluffyDuck]

The guys is immature. Its the past get over it.

[thedistillers62]

wow they really are drunk and yeah the martini glasses are dumb

[kevtheforsaken]

i'm in the same situation. after a while of having sex with my current girlfriend those memories just slip away, knowing that she is mine and no one elses.

[IIzRandom]

That's a really good thing to say to people in this situation thanks hehe.

[Drakerot]

Dan needs to shave his head, with that gianormous bald spot consuming his cranium, his bangs are just a lie. The friar tuck look is not working.

[axobeauvi]

that's crazy.

that guy needs to get over it.

she's with you now, let it go.

[hotmalemail]

i think they are at least partially right it is a flawed way of thinking but seriously was it necessary to tear into the guy so bad. 2 other guys who were boyfriends... not that bad. So many other strategies could've been used to answer this question without further alienating someone who is already hurting.  Seriously their suggestions will probably do no good whatsever to help this guy get over this problem.

[TheB0BCAt]

images popping in your head? thats hot. I try to imagine I'm screwing Jennifer Aniston when I'm screwing a girl. it makes life so much better and you never have to worry about putting the bag image in your head when your too busy trying to pink sock the girl at the same time.

[Gandocera]

it may be fantasy, but not in real life, I am ateist but I can not accept girl as wife who was fucked by different 20 guys.

[HeartBreakKid1987]

Seriously guys, I mean I have a girlfriend but she too had several boyfriends before! But so what? I mean, she slept with them BEFORE she met me and we came together so why should I be angry at her or what should I forgive her? It`s a normal process in life that girls and boys too had girls or boys before lol

[HeartBreakKid1987]

so what?!

[HeartBreakKid1987]

but nearly everyone had already sex...

[Gandocera]

in my country not yet, still fifty percent have moderate reaaltionship,

[HeartBreakKid1987]

LOL in Vietnam...

[rottengirl82]

can you guys please remove those cheesy martini glasses? they are distracting

[HeroJahat88]

i am in the exact dilema right now, i made my mind and i choose to move on. Rather than accepting her and living in a hell hatred of her past and suspicion of the future, i'd rather kill my love feeling, move on and live in freedom rather than holding on to the crapy, shuttered, broken, fake love feeling with her. Wish me luck guys, i am gonna say it to her. I wanna get out of this overwhelming ring of negative mind torture!!

by the way i am average looking and she is way beyond my reach. :{

[daytonpaul]

You should stop using the term "I understand your box" because BOX is fastly becomeing a word for virgina

[0gracefulgirl0]

teenages going though horniness is God trying to temp them, and if they are strong enough to get though it u r awesome, but far too many dont and end up getting STDs, pregnant, and in trouble

WANT FOR MARRIAGE! ITS NOT THAT HARD!

[TedSnakeys]

ur a whore

[0gracefulgirl0]

yes quite obviously the one who wants to want for marriage is a whore

i dont no if you no this but once u attack someone personally (or what you think is personally) then all of your credibility goes down the chutes, so basically your comment is nothing to me, i just responded because i thought u might want to know this tidbit of information

[TedSnakeys]

hahahahah, i got to you!!!!!

[0gracefulgirl0]

can u read? just making sure

[Evilsmookingmonkey]

ur gunna have trouble finding a guy who does the same haha, i bet he will apreciate you waiting tho

[0gracefulgirl0]

i have a guy

im good :)

[TinyDancerRussia]

dude girls have sex.... girls get raped.... girls get drunk... give us a break! we are sorry but most of us arent stretcehd out unless we are whores lolz

[0gracefulgirl0]

im sorry but all those things are very different, not relevant

[TinyDancerRussia]

No lol i replied to the wrong person lolz

[karaokesteve]

learn how to spell the word "wait"

[Ozepyon09]

Im a conservative, but I have liberal ideas. but I love these guys

[guitarhero30]

dan has the attention span of a dead cat

but its funny!lol

nice videos guys, some have helped me out alot

[LBJcontrol]

omg, it doesn't matter about the past, there's no comments/history card i.e. did what to whom and with what on them so he'd should shut up and get on with the relationship, which sounds doomed to failure.

[bindicup]

wow is this letter from my ex? lol

[humancan]

DAN IS LAME

[MyEggIsBoiled]

Does Dan have fucking ADD or what? He is annoying as hell.

[danielyeh]

out of curiosity why are you watching then?

[DanAndJenn]

LOL! Love it or hate it, thanks for watching!!

Have an awesome day! - D&J

[motoman1666]

hey my gf cheated on me and i gave her a second cahnce and things are all good now but , i cant stop thinking about her and the other guy when im going to ebd or in the shower .....? is there somehting i can do to help forget i no its kidna like the question this guy asked

[holysoks1]

man, that sucks... srsly your going to have to get her to reallly make it up for you...

[motoman1666]

she has and all i jsut cant stop thinking about it lol

[Gandocera]

ithink peole are same al owr the world, I am from turkey, some girls have sex before marige may be 40 percent, first I thouht it is cultural, and I was thinking that european guy does not have such emotion,,now I see that they are forced to accept the situation by girls. once gorls started being fucket the will reac big number while guys even wil not get one girl ecept hooker

[MyEggIsBoiled]

Well it took me a few episodes to fully realize, and I tuned into this one just to make sure it still stood. It does. He has so much trouble focusing on anything.

[MrTlTO]

If shes with you then she is with you, belive it. quit being a loser, enjoy her while you can you are only young once. Live and let live(die) pick one.

[josh1303]

Listen, this guy must have deep religious back round. Which is ok, he must be a virgin and wanted her to be too. I think he should of found someone in his own church or something. No need to rag on him. But you can still have a strong relationship even if you had sex prior and not be a virgin.

[hornydutch2]

this was really funny haha wat if the girl was liek 14 though? :S

[TheodoreCao]

well if the guy was like a virgin id understand but if he isn't

[edmondov]

Just put your emotions aside and think logically.

[edmondov]

We need to understand that man's instinct is designed to fight with other males and have complete control of the females.

If you have your own traditions, then you should look for a virgin. It will most likely be a religions or other ethnic person. Good luck

[MaxW85]

You both were very ADD in this video. Made it difficult to watch.

[photonXspark]

lol "She's had sex countless times with her two ex boyfriends"

"Good for her!"

haha excellent!

Yea, this guy is living in a pretty delusional place if he believes that girls (or anyone for that matter) are supposed to be innocent. We're animals built for sex and reproduction. Love it.

[boy6974]

I love fucking she males. Does that make me Gay? I would never fuck a guy that is gross but a Gurl like that! Cant get enough!! I guess Im Bi. But I could never be Gay. Guys are not attractive to me.

[Guitarhero75]

What if the girl's talking about her own past is what bugs you. As the current boyfriend at the time I felt offended when she would bring up sexual events and other memories from past relationships while talking to me. I wouldn't judge this to be venting but reminiscing, which was distressing for me.

[herewatchingutube]

I laughed really hard at the "safety wrapper". Thats a good way of putting it. But Im pretty sure that he didnt have a problem not saving his "safety wrapper" for her.

[salebowwow]

I wasn't my wife's first... but who cares, it is her business not mine before we were together.

[Darkcasanova]

wow ..

[salebowwow]

At almost 32 years of age, I'm beyond childish behaviours such as that.

[Darkcasanova]

its stupid i think, but on her side.. this 1st 2nd 3rd thing... for me its like either her her or her but no that one is better.

[myitachi13]

Thank you. Im a teen and that is what my body is say but i just cant yet with my boyfriend.

[lisa113322]

not a whole lot of respect for the guy who had the question.. but it was a good perspective. From the perspective of a person who WAS indoctrinated, it feels as if we've missed a lot of fun since we were 'brainwashed' in a sense. but yea the guy should find a virgin to be his girlfriend.

[Diamond121212]

disfunctional.

i feel bad for him.....for being responded to so negativley by ppl on here not the two main ppl but the commenters you kno....

._.

[planetlover316]

love the two of you.

Thank you for everything.

[cleobabyra]

extreme jealousy like this can lead to abuse

get out while you still can

[Ashabarala]

Thank you so much guys for making this video, this is a life saver.

[munchykinfayyce]

Wow, that's ridiculous that he really expects her to feel that way, and it's not fair to put her into that kind of situation. He should just drop it, honestly. It shouldn't matter, the past is the past.

[lavinder11]

Arequipa1, my bf is a typical white, southern Republican and he holds this view.

We met on AFF and I told him I wasn't a virgin, but now we're together and he wanted to know more about the guy before him. When I told him all the things we did (sex 3 times & cuddling) he flipped out.

The only difference between this guy and my guy is that he realized he had a problem and he got over it in a few hours. Totally ridiculous.

Random question D&J, but how do you feel about AshleyMadison . com?

[DanAndJenn]

Hey Lavinder, Hmmmm... on the AshleyMadison topic. Our issue is with cheating, not with the service.

If you need to have a relationship behind your partner/wife/husband's back, you'd be better off dealing with that situation and those reasons instead of "cheating" on them... that just compounds whatever problems you were having.

Cheating only creates more problems, but make sure you watch our vid on our "definition of cheating" - particularly "emotional cheating".

[bdlscreamer]

Grow UP LOL

[belail8]

true true

you 2 are great)))

[snoopyloopy]

umm he brought problem on himself. as far as past goes, don't ask, don't tell is a damn good policy to follow. in the end, the knowledge usually doesn't make things better at all.

and for the guy, i'm assuming he's screwing her too? so then, what does he tell subsequent gfs he might have? and has he had sex w/ past gfs himself?

oh yeah, btw, typical view of virgin needs to be revised. looking at dictionary, one would discover that virgin is defined by sexual activity, not vaginal sex.

[arequipa1]

guys who hold these views piss me off. they hold girls to standards they often don't conform to themselves, which is ridiculous. plus it just screams "INSECURITY!" which is flat out weak. grow a pair and get real! plus a lot of guys who hold this view are muslim, which more or less means they have no respect for females at all.

[Gandocera]

I am ateist in a muslim country, turkey, but , think about it a girl can have sex whenever she wants, and increase the number, for me I could not find agirl to have sex for 4 years,,so how can accept the girl who habe been fucked by many guys while i was waiting mine..

[TheDsX]

are americans really like that?? you live in a strange bubble people!! ;D

[Dan112388]

I know it's pretty much been covered, but I believe it's an upbringing/development problem. The guy was abstinence minded, and she probably came on the same way, which probably added on to the naive abstinence thought. I have to say I agree with Dann and Jenn. I myself am "Conservative" and I believe the guy needs to let it go. I understand that it can be tough on someone like that, but the world has change and as people we must learn to accept change and difference, for better or worse.

[geogodley]

he might feel better if she was his three hundred and third

[cursednicorobin]

whats the blue thing that you guys are drinking?

[gossamerwindweb]

past is past. It isn't like she cheated on him! She did it before he was in her life. I think some men appreciate that their girlfriend has experience.

[threedartist]

Poor Guy. another victim of the fundamentalists.

[halo2994]

wtf? I'm my girlfriend's third sexual partner too, and she's my second. What does it matter?

I just don't see the point in worrying about that stuff.

[snoopyloopy]

well there's a point when say she tells you you're the third but then you come to find out you're actually the thirty third. that might cause a few problems.

[halo2994]

yeah, but i wouldn't be upset about her past, i would just be angry that she lied to me. That would be a deal breaker.

[tlndofa]

good show as always,is he what he expects? if so has he dance with porno books while making judgment?if she felt loved enough to interreact then ya should be happy she was happy,dats luv.religion is a personal moral,an can stay that way if needed.mate if ya luv her give her a break hey or she may give you a permanent one.

[Li1Heavy]

One awesome bald patch.

[jesuslover1990]

why bother making fun of people no ones perfect

[MorthusProductions]

lmao

[SaintSrigoi]

Cool