Sex, Social Norms, & Losing Face in Japan/Tokyo - Zeplin in Tokyo #83

[mah0aga]

diee spider dieee!

[stevenc19771]

Is shibuya a good place to meet descent girls? or if you want descent girls do you go to a place like yokohama or osaka?

[MrRookitty]

That's not really a good thing. If everyone's thinking of what's socially acceptable in a situation and no one's brave enough to take the first step to do what they think is right then how will people ever be satisfied with where they are emotionally? Of course saving face is good in some instances just to be polite, but not if it's keeping you from doing what you want to.

[sorar4]

keep smoking bro

[kelveto]

You got it wrong on the cheating the wife bit. Those are two separate issues. For the serial wife cheater and for that matter boyfriends who got for soaplands, it's done for many reasons. One of the governing reason in Japan is that the men claim that they have high sex drive. I don't buy the surveys done in Japan. Getting caught cheating is a problem as the wife/gf hates it but it is no longer acceptable like it used to be.

[kelveto]

What I like about you the most is your breathtaking honesty and authenticity. You bring the house back to earth.

[ghost70570]

thanks for the culture insight i look forward to the next one

[beccaotaku]

Sounds just like America to me. LOL

[camreeno360]

I don't think it's healthy for a culture to run like that. I think Japans high suicide rate isn't a surprise when you hear a few things like this. Then again I still want to go there.

[Sunshine1133]

woah...this kinda irritates me..im half armenian living in europe,so i know the manners in the middle east culture and act sometimes according to them(when my family is around,or one of my relatives)..but i never thought that japanese act the same way >.<

[1godlessmonkey]

So where's the sex??? Come on man, DETAILS!!! Threesome? No???

[BrianMont1]

u look bald :P

<3

[mataronasd]

maybe she said it was ok for her to go with you because after her friend left she maybe thought that u might think she is lying to you

[Standard420247]

Thosa marbs look cool at least packaging wise >.>

[MargaritasAntesPorco]

heres a motto for you--

there is no regret/

at the end of my cigarette.

Nice example of Groupism and Face...nothings OK in Japan unless the Group gives its tacit approval

i think this is fine for Japan, but from a Western viewpoint it gets a little bit old, and eventually comes to seem rather adolescent; sorta like when you were in 7th grade and were all worried every day if you fit into the "right" clique, if you were wearing the "right" shirt, if you were listening to the "right" music...

[DStrike0083]

@MargaritasAntesPorco i agree. why is rape or murder illegal? Damn group says so. We should legalize rape and murder. Those damn japs.

[TokyoZeplin]

@MHKing03 people have jackets and bags you know...

[stevenc19771]

Could you a video on martial arts in japan? better dojos for forigners and also Kendo competetions? Also University life for forigners. My friends that live there say Kanagawa University is a descent school. thanks. I guess my buddie in hiratsuka said there was another small earthquake the other day. They work and earthquake starts then go back to work.

[TokyoZeplin]

@stevenc19771 As I don't do, nor have done, any of those things in Japan, a video on the subjects would be highly unlikely.

[X41N3]

interesting thumbnail u used :P, and nice clothes

[201marino]

should have just ask all the girls to your house



[freakfreak1818]

was the girl u scored pretty? lol :D

[XLiveUpX]

I wore black nail polish in 6th grade 11 years old when emo just came out and everyone commented on it but none of the comments were that they didnt like it they all thought it was kewl or something

[wobina]

I want one of those cigarettes so badly right now.......

[AZULAPRO]

Im a new subscriber to you but I just wanted to point out that not only do I like your topics of discussion, but your amazing dress style. Almost makes me wish I was a guy so i could dress like that X)

[calzagheisthebest]

what the fuck is this and where are those fucking tities???!!??!?!

[TokyoZeplin]

I wanna make a little statement here:

People seem to be waaaayyyy over-analysing this, so... don't.

[xRetogx]

Couldn't the girl who went with you set the trend for the group aswell, so when she did it, everyone else was aloud to.

[TokyoZeplin]

@xRetogx that doesn't really make sense. The "trend" for the group was already set - that was the majority plan, so to speak.

[kinglynx]

what i dont get is, why was it ok for the first girl to leave and start this sort of social trend? if its unnacceptable, and then for conditions to change means that someone has gone against the social norm first, what allows them to do this?>>

[TokyoZeplin]

@kinglynx well as I said, the first girl came back, she was just following the guy to the station.

[kinglynx]

@TokyoZeplin true, but no one else knew that? so before she came back everyone would assume she broke the social code

[TokyoZeplin]

@kinglynx yes... that's the whole point of this video. The girl I went with, after her friend had left with a bloke, felt it "OK" so to speak to leave with me. Huh? I mean, dude, that's what I was saying in the video o0

[xxfutureisnowxx]

@TokyoZeplin

I think what Kinglynx was getting at, is that the girl that went home with you didnt seem care that her friend "broke" the social code....so maybe this specific social code isnt that big of a deal to this group of friends?

Basically, was the girl that left first considered to be doing something rude according to her friends?....or did they not give a shit?

[TokyoZeplin]

@xxfutureisnowxx perhaps this is my bad: I had assumed that more people had a deeper understanding of this part of the culture (really, it's not an uncommon topic in cultures o0) than most do. I would give you an answer, but its really a bit more complicated than a single comment, if you (from the video and own knowledge) don't understand already. Perhaps another video in the future. But again, as I have said before, people are WAY overanalysing this.

[xxfutureisnowxx]

@TokyoZeplin

I think it's a simple fact that you made a video about the subject that is making people ask questions....sounds like this typical social behavior is the same thing in just about any culture you take part in....

If you go out with a group of friends and the plan is to stay together, but then you decide to ditch the group to get some ass...they'd probable thing negatively of that decision...even if ever so slightly...nothing japan-only about that is what I'm trying to say

[TokyoZeplin]

@xxfutureisnowxx again, I'm trying not to sound arogant or anything here, but it's clear that there is such a wealth of knowledge missing in this discussion, that I simply won't bother going into more detail than I have, in comments. It would simply take too long, and as I said, I'll consider doing a more in-depth video on this later. If you in the meantime want to know more, there is a wealth of info on this topic all over the net.

[xxfutureisnowxx]

@TokyoZeplin

my response sounded dickheadish..didn't mean to come across that way man

[kinglynx]

@TokyoZeplin lol your not getting me man, everyones hinting at what im saying as well.. the guy below me, futureisnowxx is sorta seein what i get at...

basically, the first girl that left, she did something that was NOT ok right? (this is before she came back)

[kinglynx]

@kinglynx so in that sense, if it was NOT okay, then what made her decide to break this social code anyway? why does she get to be the trendsetter?

[TokyoZeplin]

@kinglynx two things: firstly, you are looking at it from the wrong perspective: she had all intentions of coming back, hence did nothing "bad", it was merely a "misunderstanding". Second, as I said before as a comment here, you guys (and gals) are WAY overanalysing this. This is general social "codes", but it's not like they are somehow strictly enforced legal rules.

[Ondrix]

I don't see how it wasn't ok for her to go with you until her friend appeared to leave with a guy. I get the whole "group mentality" thing. But I think it was simply that she was scared or didn't really want to go with you. Because, rather than simply following her friends decision, she could have made a choice and her friends could have followed her decision instead.

[TokyoZeplin]

@Ondrix that makes no sense mate. The group collective "wins", so one person (generally) does what everyone else does. As seen with her friend, who only appeared to leave with a dude, but actually came back to the group. I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to say o0 Nonetheless, I think I explained what happened pretty decently, so not going to simply quote myself again.

[angelzodiak]

Soo, what's the whole point bringing a girl to your place?

[TokyoZeplin]

@angelzodiak some day, your mom and dad will sit you down for a chat about birds and bees.

[angelzodiak]

@TokyoZeplin Oh that!

[BillSyracuse]

Sounds like the same things going on in Japan since I left 20+ years ago. BTW thanks for discussing topics like this that may seem controversial to Japanese people. Most Jvlogers won't touch something like this.

[AgentSpiral]

Make more videos like this Phil, this reminds me of the old videos back when I found you years ago. Your insight on Japanese culture is the most intelligent, interesting, and still humorous at the same time. I can really tell you were made for these VLOGS! I can't believe someone would even begin to dislike your videos. People nowadays can not take a little bit of criticism or opinions about Japan without getting angry.

[AntoneX6]

jump on the bandwagon..........

[jarhead1145]

Don't they care about individuality in Japan, or everyone is too scared of what they think everyone will think of them? Seriously if those people can't like you for who you are, then you'd be better off without them being your friend. But I might be stating exactly what others have said, but it just bugs me when people can accept just being a follower.

[N1GHTWALKER823]

Interesting video. Thanks!

[Niberugi]

Nice video Zep, you should be wary to generalize tho. Grats on the chick!

[TokyoZeplin]

@Niberugi Not really generalizing. It's a fairly well established fact that it's a cornerstone of Japanese culture. I don't see what I said that could be considered "bad" or "wrong" o0

[MegaDavetastic]

Idk what everyone's bitching and moaning about. The vids self explanatory. Good vid Zep...

[heyjeySigma]

5:05 - 5:25 thats totally fcked up and should not be good/fine, caught or not.

[dannyinohio]

so what your saying is you could of had a huge group od japanese girls in your room and since one said yes i was you to nail me for a few hours you could of had a harem of girls attacking you. lol go for oit man ! nothing wrong with a a lil slap and tickle LOL. bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KRiderMan1248]

social norms are odd =/

[flyawaybeauty79]

I don't think its just Japanese culture ...it's Asian culture. Keeping good face in society is important because groupism is very important, compare to independent thinking or living independently. Nothing wrong w/it..I think even in Western Culture there are very few leaders and many sheeps..so the "problem" is quiet universal...i think.

[TokyoZeplin]

@flyawaybeauty79 not at all. It's also not at all a matter of "leader and sheeps", that's something completely different. Speaking of Asian countries, I've been told that Koreans are quite "independent" by my friends whos gone there.

[flyawaybeauty79]

@TokyoZeplin I have friends that are Korean...they are very much united (at least in America) maybe being out of their own country makes them non "independent." Also, to some part it is leader versus sheeps because one who thinks independently will do what they want and unless conditioned to only follow others due to insecurity or part of fitting in..that stuff happens in play ground. Kids follow each other ..only few do what they really want to do.

[TokyoZeplin]

@flyawaybeauty79 I'm sorry, you really seem to have missed the point I'm trying to get accross here. Maybe I'll do a more in-depth video on it at some point.

[flyawaybeauty79]

@TokyoZeplin haha sounds good :) ..everyone's perception is different!

[DOTQWERTY218]

@TokyoZeplin I think koreans are very collective, I had quite a lot of experience around koreans living there twice and they have similarities to what you say here. I just think Japanese are just a bit more extreme about not wanting to stand out of the group and koreans are maybe a little less extreme on that regard but more extreme when it comes to age and how they should to treat each other haha

[TokyoZeplin]

@DOTQWERTY218 but... huh? I'm just talking about the group aspect here, so when you yourself say "the Japanese are more extreme" then surely we can agree that it's not the same then? Or did I missunderstand you?

[kitsune090]

yes 3 girls already told me that they dont mind being cheated as long as they dont see it... i really dislike the group mentality of japan, once we went to a bar and everyone shared the bill equally, but not everyone drank/ate the same, so of course i refused to pay equally cause that night i drank only 2 beers... and a jap guy told me: EVERYONE is doing it, you should do it too! you go to climb a mountain or something and u feel you went back to the scout in the school times. hate that shit!

[AJJR101]

did you kill the spider?

[TokyoZeplin]

@AJJR101 Nope, motherfucka still be in here somewhere!

[Bippledot]

haha... yeah, you just wanted to tell us that you got to bring someone home ;D

[TokyoZeplin]

@Bippledot I'm actually considering making a little PUA-type vid :P BUT... then what happens if a gir I like watches the video? :O

[Bippledot]

@TokyoZeplin Just don't do it -__- lol

[gokuo64]

@TokyoZeplin Do one for me! I can speak Japanese but I'm terrible at picking up women :( My friends tell me I'm too majime :(

[yuichituba]

Japan's so high maintenance when it comes to when something because permissible.

Also the whole cheating on thing in Japan pisses me off. It's so stupid how it's acceptable.

[KawaiiYaLie]

I haven't even watched it yet but, Thanks for keeping it Real! B)~

[CakesBomb]

So her friend was the ultimate wingman?

[TokyoZeplin]

@CakesBomb haha! Hadn't thought about it that way!

[CakesBomb]

So her friend was the ultimate wingman?

[CakesBomb]

So her friend was the ultimate wingman?

[MicknFumi]

Like just breathing in air rather than cancer causing carcinogens is a bad thing LOL

Sorry mate, finally quit smoking after many many years last July 20, so I can't help myself ; P

[TokyoZeplin]

@MicknFumi Meh, I don't wanna quit atm, so I'm good :P

[evilkaz200]

nice job putting sex, as the first word of the title. It drew me in immediatly....clever bastard.

[TokyoZeplin]

@evilkaz200 just wait until the thumbnail updates!

[XLiveUpX]

Oh yeah your also a fucking player ftw

[XLiveUpX]

Is black nail polish odd in Japan tkyo had that too.

[TokyoZeplin]

@XLiveUpX pretty much everyone comments on it. It's certainly not a normal thing. I just dig it.

[XLiveUpX]

My favorite Youtuber.