Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 18/32)

[uberCharlie7552]

so a porn-moustached insane manchild moves in with his mother who feeds him steam and has a friend that has a cassette stuck up his ass to play jazz whenever he walks as an insider, his girlfriend was decapitated after he moved here to fuel dick-loving aliens and their world domination conquest, and she was also a giant whore. the guy at the mourge rapes corpses and the sheriff refuses to move from his desk unless the derry freeze is involved. the other insider is an insane conspiracist

what?

[uberCharlie7552]

"MOM LOOK AT THESE PICTURES OF RITA"

'oh, i took those'

[DStecks]

So, I'm under investigation for murder, I know what I'll do! I'll BREAK INTO AND STEAL FROM A POLICE STATION. That will prove my innocence!

[TrynaBeeFunny]

The only thing I can say that is good about this game is the concept. If it were done better, it would have made a pretty decent game.

[TrynaBeeFunny]

I like how they don't do much of anything to investigate the murder, such as make sure the crime scene is intact. They'd rather remove the body and suspect the only half retarded person in it even though almost everyone in town has had a personal relationship with her or at least fucked her, admittedly. Did the writers of this game even think about any of this? Over half the shit said in this game is complete garbage.

[runeman00]

The two people who disliked this video are Slowbeef and Diabetus

[CSB]

@runeman00 Dark Slowbeef and Dark Diabetus

[ZombiePhysics]

Mike Dawson wouldn't do well against Victor Zsasz, he'd just hang up halfway through the phone call.

[AmazingL4rry]

I'm going to be really depressed if it turns out Jack is Mike's unstable multiple personality, that he did kill Rita and that he's just nuts. Some twists are so standard the real twist is when they don't happen.

[FalconPain]

Hey, Jack, look at all this stuff I found! I crank-called the sheriff and looked at his old newspapers and photos, and I broke into the Mayor's car and went through his briefcase, and I broke into the coroner's office and looked at the bodies and found his book and... uh... why are you calling the cops?

[Suzaku000]

@FalconPain

Not that the police would ever respond. The Deputy has his hands full and the Sheriff is responding to that not-robbery, and eating all the ice cream once he gets there. Completely overworked.

[MrFiretom]

penis

[nejinaji]

high fives all around

[TheRsp88]

I've just realised who the sheriff reminds me of when he talks: Terrence & Philip.

[InfinitisStormcaster]

Dressed up as Mike Dawson for Halloween this year. Went to the nearby amusement park and missed every ring toss game they had, got lost in a house of mirrors while there as well. I then proceeded to painstakingly ask every house I dropped by the question: "Did you kill Rita?". To which the response was either a door to the face or yelling in my general direction. Yet still I decided to speak to them again, asking them the same questions in the same manner as before. Their response never changed.

[SergeantSargeMcFly]

@InfinitisStormcaster When you knocked on peoples' doors, did you just quickly lob your arm upward, too?

[HarrisonFordJr]

is it sad that jack is the highlight of the rp for me?

[guitarrhythymfool]

@HarrisonFordJr No. Not at all. 

[ZombiePhysics]

Something tells me Dr. Hardware is the proctologist, and he just shoves more things up Jack's ass.

[JanitorAntisocial]

Remember when you guys mocked the real Mike Dawson for teaching game design? Now take into account that he had no part in this sequel.

I think you both owe him an apology.

[shu12321]

Damn it Dawson, can't you see I'm getting my ice cream fix?

[SQUIZZLER24]

"Nothing else here, but more of the Sherrif's GIRLY magazines"

Fuck yeah, you give it to him Mike, real men read literature like the Necronomicon, right?

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@SQUIZZLER24

"Porno pictures, Oh My God!"

[xenqwz]

Now I realize why Mike is the primary suspect everyone in town spent some quality time with Rita except Mike.

[Sargonzaify]

Does anyone else desperately want to see Mike Dawson in the next Tron film? Imagine him tearing up the grid with his ring tossing ability...

[MisterMittensjr]

Mike dawson throws a bat boomarang at the joker,

Joker"he he ya missed pal"

Mike" joker what was you relationship with rita?" Then the game explodes and tells mike to go die

[lobsopdoy]

@MisterMittensjr You get saved by Jack just like how Robin saves you in Arkham City.

[World1Level2]

Rita, did you kill Rita?

Sheriff, what was your relationship with a baby head?

[3Gads]

Jack is like the Dark World opposite of Dawson. *Cough cough*

[TheCh33ks]

Dammit Dawson!

[posthumanfetus]

I think the Dark World is really the Mofunzone.

[Zknight7126]

I almost went as Mike Dawson for Halloween, but I deemed the costum too scary.

[Nodrog666]

I wish I dressed up as Mike Dawson for halloween.

Oh well, I guess they'res always next year.... : (

[Omot1122]

@Nodrog666 theres still the carneval

you could toss some rings there

[Nodrog666]

@Omot1122 Challenge accepted.

*Later* "Eeeeey ya missed pal!"

[PTp1ranha]

@Nodrog666 Everyone would turn you away. "Mike Dawson's here? Quick turn out the lights."

[Nodrog666]

@PTp1ranha Frat bro, did you kill Rita?

[PTp1ranha]

@Nodrog666 No but we did go out. Which isn't a surprise, she got everyone but Mike.

[Nodrog666]

@PTp1ranha I want you to take back how you spoke about Rita! D8<

[PTp1ranha]

@Nodrog666 Not until you get me my medicine.

[Nodrog666]

@PTp1ranha *stares at PTp1ranha for 5 minutes*

*Walks away*

[PaperMario15]

God damn I miss Jack.

[SamuraiFoochs]

I thought my hatred of Mike Dawson could not grow.

And then he waxed poetic about inflation and economics.

Fuck you, Mike Dawson.

[Benjeezytube]

All the Trick-or-Treaters at my door, did y'all know Rita?

[foxiemoxie]

The reason we haven't seen dark-world Mike is because there isn't one. It's works kinda like the other world in Persona 4, with the Shadows of people that act out their repressed pathetic side. Mike is so outwardly pathetic, there's no shadow of him, because a version of him that's any more lame cannot exist.

[BucketCapacity]

@foxiemoxie So what your saying is that P4 protagonist's real name isn't Souji Seta or Yu Narukami. Not even Charlie Tunoku.

It's Maiku Daason.

[foxiemoxie]

@BucketCapacity Oh fuck no. Dawson wouldn't be able to figure out how to summon Personas. He's too weak to crush a tarot card, and if given an Emitter, he's more likely to blow his brains out than do anything useful.

[MrIgotabadfeeling]

This LP'er is killing everyone BUT Rita

[thealexgher]

i'm surprised no one asked this but mike dawsen did you murder rita?

[ThunderFlarz]

@thealexgher Dawsen didn't but did you ask Dawson?

[thealexgher]

jail cell did you murder rita?

[ChaladanX]

18 episodes in... Mike accomplishes something for the first time in a year... and he ignores the guns... sigh...

[MrUMABD]

@ChaladanX he's....slower than most



[Kuronji]

So I heard you were upset about Rita Mike....Cmon, lets all go down to the Dairy Freeze and knock back a few cold ones.

[T00stoopid]

batman did you kill rita?

[TheTrueHaddock]

BACK INTO THE FREEZER YOU GO RITA

[TonyBranston]

@TheTrueHaddock DS1 Mike: Rita's head is missing. So that's why she died!

[typomanbros]

Am I the only one who's interpreting it that the true message of Darkseed 2 is that Mike is tragicly flawed because he's living in the past and can't comprehend that people change? Hell, the game makes more sense that way.

[Nionivek]

@typomanbros Quite sadly your wrong. Mike Dawson is having a HUGE midlife crisis and feels unimportant and that he wasted his entire life. It is why in the Darkworld everyone treats him like a great hero and super villain while everyone in the real world treats him like a loser.

There are other aspects but I can't elaborate without spoilers. I pretty much fully analysed the game.

[TheToast7]

@Nionivek So you're saying it's all in his mind? That's a fair position to take.

HOWEVER, I think that the dark world stuff really IS happening, BUT, just like how pain is joy for dark worlders, when they show him respect, they're really just treating him like trash, just like everyone else.

[Nionivek]

@TheToast7 Actually your halfright. While it IS happening in his own mind... it actually is a representation of things he is doing in the real world with a less then "Innocent" attitude. Meaning it is more of a screen.

It actually shows Mike Dawson's insight into the other characters as well as reasons for their disposition (afterall, in the Darkworld you treat the Sheriff like trash. It explains why the Sheriff hates you so much).

[CyanFunk]

Only the promise of more ringtoss keeps me from killing myself when I think about Mike Dawson.

[unclestaco]

Part 4 was rough, why does this guy just STAND THERE? FUCK!!

[Paikerchu13]

@unclestaco The long player is probably blind and locked in his basement, with some guy telling him what to do by yelling random directions at him, and then spraying the long player with water every time he tries to escape.

[MegaBlargle]

I was considering a Batman-related costume this Halloween because of Arkham City. But now I think Mike Dawson will be much more effective.

[videogamenostalgia]

@MegaBlargle A Mike Dawson costume will only be effective if you drive all your friends and family away from you and awkwardly hit on everyone you meet.

[TheIr0nMike]

I love how it takes legitimate effort to watch these videos.

[posthumanfetus]

I guess Jack doesn't have to worry about Mike molesting him anymore.

[Invisibrah]

Halloween special by retsupurae

[GmanTheTank]

Just one big plug for Arkham City haha.

[RynoZodiac]

I could imagine Mike Dawson throwing a Batarang and missing the Joker, with a response of 'Hey. You missed, pal.'.

[JasperChalks]

@RynoZodiac The Bataring!

[HazelCarter287]

@JasperChalks "The bataring still works!"

[Neotails8762]

@JasperChalks The Batarang still works!

[ThatKidWithTheVideos]

Slowbeef did you kill Rita?

[razor8191]

It was funny at first laughing at Mike Dawson and how pathetic he was, but it's now gotten to the point where it's sad how pathetic he is and always will be.

[TheBamBamPanda]

I feel so bad that you can't play Arkham City right now.

[TheAnonftw]

You know even if mike didn't kill Rita,at this point he's broken into the mayors car, tricked the sherriff and wasted his time, in the past he's blackmailed people. Heck i'm pretty sure they can arrest him for all that anyways.

[xTheTKx]

Honestly i would play the FUCK out of Arkham City with Mike Dawson.

They would call it Dawson City!

"Hey Joker did you know Rita?"

[inferno232]

This is the game that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends...

[JasperChalks]

In Dawson: Arkham City you perch on top of a gargoyle and press right button to slowly climb down it.

[videogamenostalgia]

@JasperChalks Mike Dawson would make a fucking AWESOME Batman villain. Not because he's threatening, but because I'd pay good money to see Batman beat him to a pulp...

[rickhh1]

You know, Mike Dawson is the dark world equivalent of Richard Dawson.

Richard gets all the ladies... gives them sweet kisses and knows how to talk to them. Mike ... doesn't

[Odesawaan]

Holy crap I don't know how much more of this awful game I can take.

[Thesicksix]

I want Part 5 up!

[marioVSshadow]

I think I figured out why Paul can say he didn't have it off with Rita! He used the hose!

[Temekin]

Oh God I love you guys.

Almost as much as Mike Dawson loves huge faces.

[TheStrongBadMan]

We know everyone excepte for two people had sex with Rita. Those two people are Mike Dawson, and Paul.

Think about it, Paul doesn't do anything other than water his grass all day. And he's a robot, do he has no use for these "sexual relations" those humans keep going on about.

Not sure whether or not he killed her though. Well, I am. I watched part 4.

[Hamsteere]

It turns out Rita actually killed herself, knowing she talked to Mike Dawson for more than 5 minutes.

To make sure she didn't come back as a zombie, as Mike is an obvious necrophiliac, she decapitated herself...however, she didn't know about Mike's severed head fetish.

[Thesicksix]

@Hamsteere I want your babies.

Give them to me.

[Hamsteere]

@Thesicksix I'm sorry, they were all implanted into my head vagina just yesterday...

[Thesicksix]

@Hamsteere ...

Is that why you have a safety pin attached to your face?

[Hawk3y389]

Perfect for Halloween, a game that is neither scary nor interesting.

[rickhh1]

@Hawk3y389 But it does give you nightmares because of how bad it is.

[TheAxelMiller]

I can't wait to know who fucking killed RITA.

[AzzaDutt]

@TheAxelMiller I know, and trust me it's gonna be worth the wait. It's HILARIOUS!

[rickhh1]

@TheAxelMiller Fine... I confess. I killed Rita. She kept talking about all the other guys she seduced and yammering on about how she was the best at what she does. And ... I don't know .. I guess I snapped... because I thought I was the best. But she did tell me about the loser Dawson, quitting him when it became apparent that he couldn't win her a stuffed teddy bear at the carnival, and complained that his momma wasn't talkin to him anymore.

[M30W3R]

What a coincidence, my valium box is sponsored by Mike Dawson inc.