Thank you for the suggestions. I don't think you are suggesting true "manipulation" as you are suggesting to teach your husband what he is doing to you feels like. It is basic cause and effect. If you treat a good woman like this..she will do that. I think that often men are given too many excuses by society while women are held to much stricter guidelines. As women, we are taught to think of our family before we think of us and this causes problems when dealing with men who do the opposite.
When we reward another, we are establishing a belief, and by establishing that belief between you and the individual, we're giving up control of ourselves. When they have the knowledge of your emotional response to the action. They have the power to do an opposite action to create the opposite emotion within you. If they can't empathize with the pain you feel, then you shouldn't be with them.
I tried explaining that I wanted the fresh air, so my window will be down. He locked down on my control from the drivers side. As soon as he started to raise his voice, the next red light, I got out of the car and calmly told him I was going home. The whole way he followed me in the car, laughing at me. All I thought was how foolish he may have looked from an outside perspective. An old man in his car what seemed to be harassing a young girl walking up the street. He will think twice next time.
My father figure is a very controlling individual when he feels you're in his domain. I'm blessed enough not to be living with him any more. But when I do visit him, or he visits me, I do my best to take control of the situation when I feel my needs are being taken away from me. The other day he came over to take me out, and in the car ride I wanted my window down for fresh air. The man has a bad odor. He demanded I put the window up, or else he would lock the window from the drivers side.
When going into marriage you should share the duties of marriage, their is not one that does everything and the other do nothing. I went into marriage and have been blessed now for 50 years, you have your up's and downs and should be prepared to listen to each others side of a problem you and your partner have. No one will ever live in harmony, but everyone can talk and come to a co-promise.
Live in peace all nations and welcome your brothers and sisters into your home when they are in need.
I got married a month ago-my husband is really kind to me and gets me anything I want. Its more I am not doing anything for him, but it is the early days yet. But this is good advice sister :)
your a very smart woman,my wife did everything and i went out and one day she had enough and cut me off,she also made most of the money so no allowance either,after a week i was begging for attention,i took over all the housework and cooking to win her approval,she decided she liked this way and i have been doing it all for 20 years,she is boss with check book and it works,
@tropnevad25 Found my vids?? He knows exactly where my vids are. He doesn't need to watch my vids, he has already heard my lectures 100s of times. He knows I stick up for women's rights, he hasn't got a problem with that. He is very confident and not threatened by my vids. Once I was going to take down the vids, to my surprise, he discouraged me from doing that.
when one person is determined to make it work, while the other doesn't give a damn, either way, what choice is there but to use manipulation, what should have been done is that you left him. You deserved far better, and he deserved the respect of not being treated like a moron. Then again when kids are involved perhaps it is best that at least someone is making sacrifices for them, then again, what lessons are your sacrifices and manipulation, to keep a worthless man, teaching your babies?
@TheAtheistFuture No body is perfect, people have good points and bad points. Not a single relationship would ever last if you didn't put up with a few bad points and learn how to deal with them.
@saeedan42 do you not realise how hurtful it would be if I made a video saying men should play games with their wife to get the best of them? how can two wrongs make a right??
@rydhwan It wouldn't hurt me, I am sure I would find it funny ... I am sorry if I hurt you, it was not my intention. I am sure you are a lovely husand insh'Allah
@saeedan42 thanks a lot for replying, but please can you answer my question, do two wrongs make a right? and are you saying us men shouldn't take this video seriously? it would've saved some hassle if you told us this video is meant to be a joke...and thanks again
This woman is classed cracked. Worst thing about it she talks about her husband personal life. Who cares on your views, get out the door a bit more weirdo.
i think some of the suggestion that you have made are not really good this would cause more of and argument etc !!! The women is cursed is she does not share his bed by the angels what kind of advice are you giving sister nazubillah this is against islam if you said you sit down and both resolve this this would have been better, and men are are like children this is sheer stupidy on your part sister ws wr wb
Sounds like a war. It doesn't sound like a loving relationship. I think that your husband or wife should be your best friend. If you aren't best friends then you can try all the tactics you want, but it won't work.
My advice: If the husband is a deadbeat, then LEAVE THEM. Marry someone else. That is the best solution. Nobody deserves to be abused and neglect is a form of abuse. Women and Men need to leave abusive relationships.
What if he is trying to get the best out of you. Then your house will turn into a war zone. If that suites you, then it's not my place to judge but I could never live like that. I hate playing games. I think that people, who are married, should act like best friends for each other. You never see best friends manipulating each other right? This is just my opinion. I have been hurt a lot in the past from girls playing these types of games and you have had deadbeats.
@qwertyfshag No doubt he does try to get the best out of me. It is like a reversible reaction. We have to maintain an equilibrium situation. I don't think I was always like this, but in order to maintain a balance with MY husband who I have been married to for over 20 years I have had to adjust. It is an IDEAL situation to have what YOU want. I would want that. But life is a test, you can't get what you want, otherwise you would be in heaven.
@qwertyfshag Things are not that simple and unfortunately not many are blessed in marriage as you are. People have to make the most out of their situation especially in places where women's rights are primitive.
Thank you for the suggestions. I don't think you are suggesting true "manipulation" as you are suggesting to teach your husband what he is doing to you feels like. It is basic cause and effect. If you treat a good woman like this..she will do that. I think that often men are given too many excuses by society while women are held to much stricter guidelines. As women, we are taught to think of our family before we think of us and this causes problems when dealing with men who do the opposite.
Dymphna7811 1 week ago
When we reward another, we are establishing a belief, and by establishing that belief between you and the individual, we're giving up control of ourselves. When they have the knowledge of your emotional response to the action. They have the power to do an opposite action to create the opposite emotion within you. If they can't empathize with the pain you feel, then you shouldn't be with them.
imperfectionKillz 1 week ago
I tried explaining that I wanted the fresh air, so my window will be down. He locked down on my control from the drivers side. As soon as he started to raise his voice, the next red light, I got out of the car and calmly told him I was going home. The whole way he followed me in the car, laughing at me. All I thought was how foolish he may have looked from an outside perspective. An old man in his car what seemed to be harassing a young girl walking up the street. He will think twice next time.
imperfectionKillz 1 week ago
My father figure is a very controlling individual when he feels you're in his domain. I'm blessed enough not to be living with him any more. But when I do visit him, or he visits me, I do my best to take control of the situation when I feel my needs are being taken away from me. The other day he came over to take me out, and in the car ride I wanted my window down for fresh air. The man has a bad odor. He demanded I put the window up, or else he would lock the window from the drivers side.
imperfectionKillz 1 week ago
When going into marriage you should share the duties of marriage, their is not one that does everything and the other do nothing. I went into marriage and have been blessed now for 50 years, you have your up's and downs and should be prepared to listen to each others side of a problem you and your partner have. No one will ever live in harmony, but everyone can talk and come to a co-promise.
Live in peace all nations and welcome your brothers and sisters into your home when they are in need.
san4tam 3 weeks ago
I got married a month ago-my husband is really kind to me and gets me anything I want. Its more I am not doing anything for him, but it is the early days yet. But this is good advice sister :)
LittleQueenTudor 1 month ago
your a very smart woman,my wife did everything and i went out and one day she had enough and cut me off,she also made most of the money so no allowance either,after a week i was begging for attention,i took over all the housework and cooking to win her approval,she decided she liked this way and i have been doing it all for 20 years,she is boss with check book and it works,
zoose21 1 month ago
I think your husband would find it funny if he found your videos
tropnevad25 1 month ago
@tropnevad25 Found my vids?? He knows exactly where my vids are. He doesn't need to watch my vids, he has already heard my lectures 100s of times. He knows I stick up for women's rights, he hasn't got a problem with that. He is very confident and not threatened by my vids. Once I was going to take down the vids, to my surprise, he discouraged me from doing that.
saeedan42 1 month ago
when one person is determined to make it work, while the other doesn't give a damn, either way, what choice is there but to use manipulation, what should have been done is that you left him. You deserved far better, and he deserved the respect of not being treated like a moron. Then again when kids are involved perhaps it is best that at least someone is making sacrifices for them, then again, what lessons are your sacrifices and manipulation, to keep a worthless man, teaching your babies?
TheAtheistFuture 1 month ago
@TheAtheistFuture No body is perfect, people have good points and bad points. Not a single relationship would ever last if you didn't put up with a few bad points and learn how to deal with them.
saeedan42 1 month ago
@saeedan42 sorry 'nobody'
saeedan42 1 month ago
@saeedan42 do you not realise how hurtful it would be if I made a video saying men should play games with their wife to get the best of them? how can two wrongs make a right??
rydhwan 1 month ago
@rydhwan It wouldn't hurt me, I am sure I would find it funny ... I am sorry if I hurt you, it was not my intention. I am sure you are a lovely husand insh'Allah
saeedan42 1 month ago
@saeedan42 thanks a lot for replying, but please can you answer my question, do two wrongs make a right? and are you saying us men shouldn't take this video seriously? it would've saved some hassle if you told us this video is meant to be a joke...and thanks again
rydhwan 1 month ago
@rydhwan from MY experience, 2 wrongs have made MY man right :)
saeedan42 1 month ago
looks like you have experienced no good in your life :(
musclemorph110 2 months ago
Im glad im not married to you loooooool
tropnevad25 2 months ago
This woman is classed cracked. Worst thing about it she talks about her husband personal life. Who cares on your views, get out the door a bit more weirdo.
SalamMajid786 2 months ago
i think some of the suggestion that you have made are not really good this would cause more of and argument etc !!! The women is cursed is she does not share his bed by the angels what kind of advice are you giving sister nazubillah this is against islam if you said you sit down and both resolve this this would have been better, and men are are like children this is sheer stupidy on your part sister ws wr wb
NicheXclusive 2 months ago
Basically you're advising women to manipulate their husbands. Smart.
LoonyInSpace 2 months ago
Sounds like a war. It doesn't sound like a loving relationship. I think that your husband or wife should be your best friend. If you aren't best friends then you can try all the tactics you want, but it won't work.
My advice: If the husband is a deadbeat, then LEAVE THEM. Marry someone else. That is the best solution. Nobody deserves to be abused and neglect is a form of abuse. Women and Men need to leave abusive relationships.
qwertyfshag 2 months ago
@qwertyfshag No man is perfect, and no woman is perfect. It's hard to leave someone you love, for me I'd rather learn to get the best out of him ;-)
saeedan42 2 months ago
@saeedan42
What if he is trying to get the best out of you. Then your house will turn into a war zone. If that suites you, then it's not my place to judge but I could never live like that. I hate playing games. I think that people, who are married, should act like best friends for each other. You never see best friends manipulating each other right? This is just my opinion. I have been hurt a lot in the past from girls playing these types of games and you have had deadbeats.
qwertyfshag 2 months ago
@qwertyfshag No doubt he does try to get the best out of me. It is like a reversible reaction. We have to maintain an equilibrium situation. I don't think I was always like this, but in order to maintain a balance with MY husband who I have been married to for over 20 years I have had to adjust. It is an IDEAL situation to have what YOU want. I would want that. But life is a test, you can't get what you want, otherwise you would be in heaven.
saeedan42 2 months ago
@qwertyfshag Things are not that simple and unfortunately not many are blessed in marriage as you are. People have to make the most out of their situation especially in places where women's rights are primitive.
LittleQueenTudor 1 month ago
Totally agree with you! This is some excellent advice..
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