As sad as this is, it is true. And I believe you :) mine has not ended yet, and I hope he stopes soon. And when he does stop I want to be as strong as you!!! Thank you for making this video :D
Thank you for creating this video. It the best child abuse survivor video out there. I completely can relate to your situation. Your video motivated me to make my first child abuse survivor video too. Perhaps I can share it with you if I can get it on you tube. But mine contain graphic descriptions as to what happened.
so powerful, The trauma of childhood abuse actually causes your brain to physically form differently. If only the abusers could see what damage they were doing, maybe just maybe those few moments of pleasure wouldn't be worth it to them. Years of pain, depression and self loathing for the victim. When I find out someone else has experienced this pain, I tell them it makes it easier not feeling so crazy, but that I wish they didn't have to understand the feelings I have.
@bellzfamily Thank you for commenting and understanding. I feel the same way at times. I feel so bad for people whose lives have been changed forever by a selfish person's actions. At the same time it's nice to know someone else understands.
Hi bleaux42 i was abused too at the age of 7 and the most damage and hurting thing all this is people understimate the brain damage that the abuse bring us for the rest of our lives, now its important more than ever join all of us child abuse survivor and tell everybody that is not only on the phycological level level like most of the phycologist claim but like recent experiment show the damage is in the neurologycal brain system and many zones and connections of the brain itself.
@oscaedo I've been told so many times to just get over it. Most of the time it's the same person who knew it was going on all along and didn't do anything to stop it. No, I won't just get over it. I can't and I will keep talking about it. I will not be bullied into silence ever again. I am so sorry you were hurt.
I am VERY fortunate that I have never been abused, but my dad was. He suffered extreme physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents. Although he is a loving parent, he also suffers from PTSD and Bipolar disorder, and he also likes to draw and write! (So do I, actually :)). Both his parents are now dead, and they never apologised for their actions.
I believe every word you've written in this vid, even if your parents refuse to.
@BigHeartedBrit Thank you for believing in me! And your dad is blessed that you are so caring and understanding to his issues. It takes a strong person to be able to understand. I finally realized I won't get closure but it's ok. I have my own little family now and we love each other very much.
@fly1281 Hi fly, Im completely sure you have to tell everyone what happened to you as a child, because is the only way we start to heal all our pain. Your parents must know it, and your family in general. I was too afraid of telling them the truth, but finally after 30 years of keeping the secret, I could told them and I feel much better now.
@fly1281 That's such a hard question to answer. I am so sorry it happened to you. I wish you didn't have to go through this at all. Do you see a therapist? You can message me if you'd like.
I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you. I am a survivor of extreme abuse and trauma. I have PTSD, too, insomnia, constant derealzation and from about 6 hallucinatons. My mind is fried. I BELIEVE YOU times 10,0000000000. I think most people don`t want to believe, because it is so horrible- they`d rather deny. I BELIEVE EVERY WORD and I know there is a lot more to your past than you posted (obviously). PTSD 9especially if you develop it as a child) is hell...
it felt like you shared my thoughts. The stuff about what I am today, being colored by what I have gone through is what I go through every day. Thank God for faith and hope. The abuse was so overwhelming that my faith and hope had to become so majestic to balance out some of the abuse and give me a little peace of mind. I feel what you have gone through. You are not alone.
Omg Blue this description of PTSD is so dead on, there is some comfort in knowing that I am not alone with the kaos inside. Thank you so much for sharing your work.
iM 27 my dad molested me from as far back as four..no one belived me was teke away sent back home emtionally abused & phiscally at all places told i had add now told i was mis diagnosed its ptsd..hey mr mitchell feel good about yelling at me now u sob!
Dear bleux42, thank's for being so brave. You just kind of described my life. I wish I one day get strong enough to do something active to stop childabuse. It ruins you for a lifetime. I'm 44 and got treatment for almost 25 years, and they say I probably need get, as long as I live.
It's terrible that your parents insist you made it up. And stupid; who do they think they're fooling? I believe you, and I'm glad that you got away. I loved children, and wished I could save them all from this.
@SmurfQueen279 My father CONFESSED to my mother, his new wife and my brothers a year or so ago, yet my mother and one brother will still not admit that my father the abuse. Thank you for believing me (and for letting me rant lol)
I understand what you are going through because I have my own scars. If you would like to understand the spiritual aspects of what your soul is now dealing with read Dr. Ana Mendez Ferrell's book Regions of Captivity. Dr Mendez has delivered people just like you through the power of Jesus. In that book you can read testimonies just like yours. I am not trying to sell you anything but I can identify with you and your need for deliverance and I love you and want to see you free. God bless you.
Right now, I can not do much else that think and I suppose 'obsess' over this. I had never been allowed to be open about this before and I am about to burst. ...
I am doing a class presentation on childhood PTSD, and I will be showing your video. It is a great perspective on the issue and made me cry. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks so much fro your vid.. we need a voice, so people wont over look this and help us take some kinda of action in moving forward to help those who have been threw and who are going threw this awful mess. Any time you need a friend.. or just wanna talk i am here .. and i understand, Take care & be safe! *~*HUGS*~*
I wish I could give you a big hug. Sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes I wish I were alone because then no one else would have to go through this. Even with the pain there is some comfort in finding understanding.
Thank you so much....I never knew what I had all these years was ptsd. You just described my life. I knew my childhood sexual abuse damaged me in so many ways...but I never really had a label for it. Thank You for helping me find a name for "me".
thankyou so much for sharing that and I think you have a beautiful soul-and that is one they could never hurt. I suffer myself, I am 34 and just getting help now. I was abused in every way and my family didn't tell either. I have felt completely different to others all my life and have had no sense of how I am inside. I am determined to be happy-truly happy-one day. all my love to you you are a very special person
Bleaux, I've watched two of your videos. I have PTSD too. Had some help using EMDR treatment, but there are no miracle cures (that I know of). You are doing beautiful work that promotes healing. I am blessed to see your videos; you have real talent and skill. I will look for more from you. Thanks and God bless you, dear one.
I wish people didnt have to relate to this that people you should feel safe around you put that fear into you. Then when people try to speak out they are called a lyiars it's not right and i wish others would just accknolage that this HAPPENS.....better laws should be there for childreen! or even more people to care!
Thank you for the comment. :) It is much, much appreciated. I don't really know how much I'm helping. I just think I am able to express how we're feeling and I think that helps.
i admire your strength, talent and coping skills. i am now 44 years old and in the end, all i could do was retreat to the mountains where i now see and talk to no one. there were too many triggers in the real world and i couldn't cope. i'm glad to know you really have survived it. there is so much i want to say to you but i'll spare you. i wish you the best of everything
Thank you for posting this video. Can I say you are so brave. I can only but imagine what you went through, for you to make such wonderful videos and art is a great thing. In doing this you are making other people open their hearts and eyes and hopefully will help someone too. Godbless you in your healing! I am hugging you now. Take Care X
beautifully done. your story is one far to common and yet, we each bear our own scars. we must work through our pain individually in order to help each other. you know this and are well on your way. being here and sharing your story is so important. thank you for your courage and selflessness.
Very beautifully done! remember all things can be used to help others, and then it becomes a blessing for all, if one would just stop thinking of the past and move on to good things and thoughts and stay in the present moment rather then in past thoughts one would get better very fast,remember also that no one can help another better than one who`s been there, so get well and help a hurting world to get well too !---Thanks so much--Rich
Wow...I mean thats all I can really say. Im a child of abuse but I was rescued early in my life. I mean I still have memories and stuff but other than that Im pretty much normanl. I cant imagine what it would be like for people to not believe me when I talk about my abuse. :s. Btw your art is VERY beautiful and amazing.
Thank you very much for posting this video. It really helped me describing my presentation about child PTSD (I'm a psychology student in Indonesia). Keep struggling, ok? Always remember that you are not alone and there are a lot of people out there that really care about you. If you need a friend to share your problem, you can drop me a message. Take care, GBU!!
Ugh. I was checking out that site to see what it was and added it myself. I apologize. I still don't know what it's all about. I think I'm getting too old for this. lol
Thank you for wanting to post it and if somehow I didn't add it, then yes, you can.
from you....Be extra kind to yourself~~~~ You have a gift~~~~Deeply sorry for what you had to go through~~~To share it helps us open up and share our pain...
bless you you are a strong individual i know its hard you went through so much more than i could comprehend your story will touch so many hearts and knowing we are not alone is what helps us get through it no one understands unless you have been
Remember that over half the time it's either the grandfather or uncle that does it. And people wonder why we're so screwed up and why it takes so long to heal. I once read in a book that it takes just 30 seconds for a dad/uncle/grandfather to ruin the life of someone.
That is so true. For me, it took 30 seconds for my male cousin to ruin my life. And it's going on 23 years now... may we all find the light of healing to shine down on us...
I was abused for a long time in different ways. Even my animals. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, BPD, etc....and everybody hates me now. I've heard I'm like nails on a blackboard lol I'm actually a very forgiving person, I've forgiven everybody for everything, and I do my best not to dwell, but my brain itself seems to have been affected. I have God and that's the most important thing to me. He helps me overcome....He has seen me through it all
And He'll continue to, as He has me. If anyone went through abuse of all different sorts, it was Christ. I've forgiven my abusers too, but that doesn't wipe out the effects of what they did. Our brains have been affected, literally, in the way they've developed physically, psychologically. But we're loved now -- that's what matters most. Bleaux, I'll send you copies of my art as soon as I figure out how. :-) Hugs - Terry
You know, I've been asking that myself. I don't understand, first of all, why someone would make something like this up. Second of all, I can't believe someone can see my artwork, read my writing and watch my videos and tell me, "You're lying. Nothing happened." I guess the world is full of all types of abusers.
Now with family...they have to stick together and keep their lie because it's more comfortable that way. Cowards, the lot of them.
This is amazing. This is the ONLY video that had made me cry without thinking about some other painful memory. I know the pain of abuse. I suffered through it for 13 years and it's something that I don't EVER want to put my kids through. It's horrible and wrong. I pray for all of those kids still stuck in the situation that I ran from a few weeks ago.
I was diagnosed with PTSD a month ago -- after nearly twenty years of thinking I'd put my abuse behind me (except for the nightmares, the coping mechanisms I live by, the wondering what's wrong with me that I wasn't - and can't be loved - by other people. I also draw, paint, and write. Though my abuse wasn't sexual, but severe physical and emotional abuse, I relate to you and your haunting video. Thank you.
I'm so sorry you had to suffer but very glad you were diagnosed. Knowing I had PTSD helped me deal with things better. Before I just thought I was loopy or crazy like my family kept telling people. I'd love to see your art work some day.
My mother suffered not in the same way a you becuase she was never raped. She was beaten at school and at home by her mother's ever changing "husbands." She suffers from post-trematic stress (I think that's what it is called). Once she told me, that her mother left pregnant and came home a day later with no baby. She has always wondered what happened to him. Your video was very touching. I'm sorry no one helped you. (oops this is long)
So many have been there too, some cope better than you,others need to look to you for guidence , very touching, I felt your pain , and shared your experiences, I chose to forget, now it's just a distant memory, that only needs to be triggered, by something like this , I forgave that person, that was my first step, the second step was easier, as I kept walking away.
have been hurt by people who were to love and nurture you! What a powerful way to recover by doing your video,writing,art and speaking your truth to us~~~~Giving others strength to speak their truths....A BIG THANK YOU~~~~Know that you are not alone~~~~We can and will make it!!!!!!
Because of this video, I could finally explain to my brother what I'm going through. I was abused by 1 brother, 1 adopted father. This means more than words alone can say...
despised and stigmatised many resort to taking the sorrows to the grave, yet which is worse? the desire for death? or or the degree of the actual suffering?...
yet another dilemma is .. no sufferer will want to see others suffering the same things.. yet without others the sufferer is all alone.
what we truely need is awareness so we can climb out of our lonely shell.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The saddest part of all of this is that it happens more than can be imagined. I'm sorry for all that you've endured, and admire you for your strength. Please remember you are never alone, and that you will be heard. You have beautiful artwork by the way:)
this is amazing! i have PTSD too. from being abused by moms boyfriend. but your right to heal you have to remember. you didnt deserve that and it wasnt your fault.... i believe you and in you. :)
If you are all touched by this subject, please ACT NOW. Visit kelseyspurpose . org and make a difference. This sweet little girl lost her life in a tragic way while her father was off serving in Iraq. For more information, please, I urge you to look up "Kelsey Briggs" and make a difference in the lives of children who need you more than anything.
I just have to say firstly, you are so brave and strong. Being able to post what happened to you.I can't say that I have ever experienced the same you have, but I just want you to know that I believe you, every word. Keep strong and remember there will always be people to stick behind you and give you support. All my love and best wishes.
I believe you one hundred percent and I think the work you have produced is wonderful. They don't know the damage they do. Keep up the good work, reading the comments it appears your hitting home. From a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
that was soooooo sad i loved it and added it to my fvorites. i'll tell my friends about it so they can watch it. although i have never been abused i still can't imagine the pain u guys went through as children.
Hold me tight So I don't feel any pain tonight My daddy's home Drunk and alone Wheres mommy? I sadly don't know I wish I could Leave my home But I'm Only 5 I can't go anywhere alone Fear has striken me hard enough To make me tear I really wish I had no fear But tonight I can't hear Because I'm no longer here Created by:itachicloud go ahead and copy and paste other videos to spread awareness, but please don't take as your own.
Thanks! yaaaa...i never get commented on this stuff...
I'm not abused by parents...but other kids used to bully me...liker punch and push me over chairs...i'd come home with punch of bruises and my parents would ask, and i say i dont know...
Because i'm really anti socail and have a proble talking to adults...like i feel like they'll think less of me, but i know they won't. But now i only get shoved. Secretly. Most people don't really want to touch me now cause i'm the 'creapy scary goth' to them. So now i only get shoved and started at and sometimes teased so i'm okay with it. I had told my parents when i was younger. The teachers didn't do much...so i see no point. Any way, its random people now.
I am so sorry you or anyone else for that matter has to go through that... i went through something similar so i can understand at least a little what your're going through... I am so so sorry to be able to say that!!
I'm also a survivor diagnosed with PTSD who holds on to faith and hope for healing. I've been saved and relocated but my family denies everything. It helps to know others know how I feel and other families deny the truth.
It does help me to know there are others out there. I feel kind of selfish saying that but I feel we need to seek each other out. We're kind of the only families we have.
I'm so glad that your video exists. It said more than what just words can say. Thank you for helping me feel buried feelings with your video, and thanks for letting us post the video with our article. Glad you liked the article too :)
As sad as this is, it is true. And I believe you :) mine has not ended yet, and I hope he stopes soon. And when he does stop I want to be as strong as you!!! Thank you for making this video :D
HarryPotterObessor 4 months ago
Thank you for creating this video. It the best child abuse survivor video out there. I completely can relate to your situation. Your video motivated me to make my first child abuse survivor video too. Perhaps I can share it with you if I can get it on you tube. But mine contain graphic descriptions as to what happened.
drkamischild 9 months ago
so powerful, The trauma of childhood abuse actually causes your brain to physically form differently. If only the abusers could see what damage they were doing, maybe just maybe those few moments of pleasure wouldn't be worth it to them. Years of pain, depression and self loathing for the victim. When I find out someone else has experienced this pain, I tell them it makes it easier not feeling so crazy, but that I wish they didn't have to understand the feelings I have.
bellzfamily 10 months ago
@bellzfamily Thank you for commenting and understanding. I feel the same way at times. I feel so bad for people whose lives have been changed forever by a selfish person's actions. At the same time it's nice to know someone else understands.
bleaux42 10 months ago
Hi bleaux42 i was abused too at the age of 7 and the most damage and hurting thing all this is people understimate the brain damage that the abuse bring us for the rest of our lives, now its important more than ever join all of us child abuse survivor and tell everybody that is not only on the phycological level level like most of the phycologist claim but like recent experiment show the damage is in the neurologycal brain system and many zones and connections of the brain itself.
oscaedo 1 year ago
@oscaedo I've been told so many times to just get over it. Most of the time it's the same person who knew it was going on all along and didn't do anything to stop it. No, I won't just get over it. I can't and I will keep talking about it. I will not be bullied into silence ever again. I am so sorry you were hurt.
bleaux42 10 months ago
i hope u get better throughout the years and u are not alone and i believe you and i wish i could help...
Theguy19811 1 year ago
@Theguy19811 Thank you so much! That means the world to me!
bleaux42 10 months ago
extremely painful to watch since I know ...
hope you are healing and surround yourself with people who truly love you
DayaTom7 1 year ago
@DayaTom7 I have finally learned to do just that; surround myself with loving, caring and supportive people. Thank you so much for your support. <3
bleaux42 10 months ago
thank-you
EmeriAudra 1 year ago
@EmeriAudra You're welcome. I hope you are doing well. *hugs*
bleaux42 10 months ago
This video is so heartbreaking.....
I am VERY fortunate that I have never been abused, but my dad was. He suffered extreme physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents. Although he is a loving parent, he also suffers from PTSD and Bipolar disorder, and he also likes to draw and write! (So do I, actually :)). Both his parents are now dead, and they never apologised for their actions.
I believe every word you've written in this vid, even if your parents refuse to.
BigHeartedBrit 1 year ago
@BigHeartedBrit Thank you for believing in me! And your dad is blessed that you are so caring and understanding to his issues. It takes a strong person to be able to understand. I finally realized I won't get closure but it's ok. I have my own little family now and we love each other very much.
bleaux42 10 months ago
im so so so sorry for what has happened.. i wish i could take all the bad things away
i belive you,almost the same thing happened to me except i kept the secret from everyone and still no one knows.
fly1281 1 year ago
@fly1281 Thank you so much for believing in me. I wish you didn't have to keep the secret. I know it's hard.
bleaux42 10 months ago
@fly1281 Hi fly, Im completely sure you have to tell everyone what happened to you as a child, because is the only way we start to heal all our pain. Your parents must know it, and your family in general. I was too afraid of telling them the truth, but finally after 30 years of keeping the secret, I could told them and I feel much better now.
oscaedo 8 months ago
oh my gosh no no no!
i think i have ptsd! :(
but they say i have something else..
i havent really told my family what happend when i was small...do u think i should?
fly1281 1 year ago
@fly1281 That's such a hard question to answer. I am so sorry it happened to you. I wish you didn't have to go through this at all. Do you see a therapist? You can message me if you'd like.
bleaux42 10 months ago
i'm so sry. i don't believe ur parents. i believe u. and child abuse should b stopped.
nirvanagirl90210 1 year ago
@nirvanagirl90210 Thank you so much! *hugs*
bleaux42 10 months ago
I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you. I am a survivor of extreme abuse and trauma. I have PTSD, too, insomnia, constant derealzation and from about 6 hallucinatons. My mind is fried. I BELIEVE YOU times 10,0000000000. I think most people don`t want to believe, because it is so horrible- they`d rather deny. I BELIEVE EVERY WORD and I know there is a lot more to your past than you posted (obviously). PTSD 9especially if you develop it as a child) is hell...
bipolarlex 1 year ago
@bipolarlex Thank you!!! You are wonderful!
bleaux42 10 months ago
it felt like you shared my thoughts. The stuff about what I am today, being colored by what I have gone through is what I go through every day. Thank God for faith and hope. The abuse was so overwhelming that my faith and hope had to become so majestic to balance out some of the abuse and give me a little peace of mind. I feel what you have gone through. You are not alone.
brooklyn1967 1 year ago
@brooklyn1967 Thank you so much. I believe I would have died if it weren't for my Faith. I am so sorry you have to go through this too.
bleaux42 10 months ago
Omg Blue this description of PTSD is so dead on, there is some comfort in knowing that I am not alone with the kaos inside. Thank you so much for sharing your work.
bluesky291975 1 year ago
@bluesky291975 You're welcome. *hugs*
bleaux42 10 months ago
iM 27 my dad molested me from as far back as four..no one belived me was teke away sent back home emtionally abused & phiscally at all places told i had add now told i was mis diagnosed its ptsd..hey mr mitchell feel good about yelling at me now u sob!
colleenberg03 1 year ago
@colleenberg03 I am so sorry you had to go through that! It's like being abused all over again sometimes when we have to deal with Doctors.
bleaux42 10 months ago
Dear bleux42, thank's for being so brave. You just kind of described my life. I wish I one day get strong enough to do something active to stop childabuse. It ruins you for a lifetime. I'm 44 and got treatment for almost 25 years, and they say I probably need get, as long as I live.
135MEE 1 year ago
@135MEE I am so sorry this is your life. It's hard and people who don't have it, just don't understand.
bleaux42 10 months ago
It's terrible that your parents insist you made it up. And stupid; who do they think they're fooling? I believe you, and I'm glad that you got away. I loved children, and wished I could save them all from this.
SmurfQueen279 2 years ago
@SmurfQueen279 My father CONFESSED to my mother, his new wife and my brothers a year or so ago, yet my mother and one brother will still not admit that my father the abuse. Thank you for believing me (and for letting me rant lol)
bleaux42 10 months ago
I understand what you are going through because I have my own scars. If you would like to understand the spiritual aspects of what your soul is now dealing with read Dr. Ana Mendez Ferrell's book Regions of Captivity. Dr Mendez has delivered people just like you through the power of Jesus. In that book you can read testimonies just like yours. I am not trying to sell you anything but I can identify with you and your need for deliverance and I love you and want to see you free. God bless you.
MrRepent 2 years ago
@MrRepent Thank you. I will check into it.
bleaux42 10 months ago
A very powerful production. I'm sure many, many people can relate.
BrianDornTFP 2 years ago
@BrianDornTFP Thank you for commenting. :)
bleaux42 10 months ago
Right now, I can not do much else that think and I suppose 'obsess' over this. I had never been allowed to be open about this before and I am about to burst. ...
HigherGlobal 2 years ago
@HigherGlobal I am so sorry you have to feel this way. *hugs*
bleaux42 10 months ago
THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
you have told my story ...
HigherGlobal 2 years ago
Thank YOU. You are in a position to make a difference as a teacher.
bleaux42 2 years ago
I am doing a class presentation on childhood PTSD, and I will be showing your video. It is a great perspective on the issue and made me cry. Thank you for sharing your story.
adamls1980 2 years ago
You're welcome. I hope you do well on your presentation. :)
bleaux42 2 years ago
Do whatever it takes to heal, even if it takes the rest of my life - that's my mantra. Carry on, sister.
sandiawhispers 2 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 2 years ago
OMG
as soon as you sed molestedd my heart sank to my stomach i feeel soo sorry for you
i wish i could help kids this happens to even though i am only 14 i hate how parents and family members could do this i feel so sorry for you:(:(
remember you now have all these people believing in you so dont give up PLEASE for all survivors tell ur stories and people WILL care
lovee you
ripcurl251 2 years ago
*hugs* Thank you so much for your compassion! People like you will change the world.
bleaux42 2 years ago
Thanks so much fro your vid.. we need a voice, so people wont over look this and help us take some kinda of action in moving forward to help those who have been threw and who are going threw this awful mess. Any time you need a friend.. or just wanna talk i am here .. and i understand, Take care & be safe! *~*HUGS*~*
glittterhempfairies4 2 years ago 2
*hugs* Thank you so much!
bleaux42 2 years ago
thanks, group therapy
Kelpy 2 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 2 years ago
Just stopping in to wish you many blessings!
snackpack113 2 years ago
Thank you!
bleaux42 2 years ago
wow thanx for describing me
emiem74 2 years ago
You're welcome.
bleaux42 2 years ago
I wish I could give you a big hug. Sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes I wish I were alone because then no one else would have to go through this. Even with the pain there is some comfort in finding understanding.
Innocentfairy1 2 years ago 6
*hugs*
bleaux42 2 years ago
Thank you so much....I never knew what I had all these years was ptsd. You just described my life. I knew my childhood sexual abuse damaged me in so many ways...but I never really had a label for it. Thank You for helping me find a name for "me".
newvision4him 2 years ago
You're welcome! I hope you are doing well. <3
bleaux42 2 years ago
me too...
I remember...
I hate remembering...
No way around... only through...
I believe you!
MSJustScott 2 years ago 3
Thank you so much Scott! No matter how old I get...the words "I believe you" mean so much to me.
bleaux42 2 years ago
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN
HigherGlobal 2 years ago
...sensitive and expressive video...me too...share all of this as well!
survivoroftrauma 2 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 2 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 3 years ago
I feel extremely privileged to have seen a glimpse of the hurt you have been through. Thank you, u have helped me in a way I cannot describe x
pettit25 3 years ago 2
thankyou so much for sharing that and I think you have a beautiful soul-and that is one they could never hurt. I suffer myself, I am 34 and just getting help now. I was abused in every way and my family didn't tell either. I have felt completely different to others all my life and have had no sense of how I am inside. I am determined to be happy-truly happy-one day. all my love to you you are a very special person
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
goodgirlallthetime 3 years ago 2
Thank you for the comment! I am so sorry that you suffer and wish for you to find healing and happiness.
bleaux42 3 years ago
I love this song.:) Very touching.
koalastephanie 3 years ago
Thank you. :)
bleaux42 3 years ago
Bleaux, I've watched two of your videos. I have PTSD too. Had some help using EMDR treatment, but there are no miracle cures (that I know of). You are doing beautiful work that promotes healing. I am blessed to see your videos; you have real talent and skill. I will look for more from you. Thanks and God bless you, dear one.
entropicmom 3 years ago
Thank you so, so much. It means a lot to me to find kindred souls.
bleaux42 3 years ago
I wish people didnt have to relate to this that people you should feel safe around you put that fear into you. Then when people try to speak out they are called a lyiars it's not right and i wish others would just accknolage that this HAPPENS.....better laws should be there for childreen! or even more people to care!
slashtear 3 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 3 years ago
thanks
slashtear 3 years ago
Thank you for the comment. :) It is much, much appreciated. I don't really know how much I'm helping. I just think I am able to express how we're feeling and I think that helps.
bleaux42 3 years ago
i admire your strength, talent and coping skills. i am now 44 years old and in the end, all i could do was retreat to the mountains where i now see and talk to no one. there were too many triggers in the real world and i couldn't cope. i'm glad to know you really have survived it. there is so much i want to say to you but i'll spare you. i wish you the best of everything
marisu2 3 years ago 2
To tell you the truth, I'd love to move to the mountains and away from everything. It's so exhausting to live life like this.
Thank you for the comment. :)
bleaux42 3 years ago
Thank you for posting this video. Can I say you are so brave. I can only but imagine what you went through, for you to make such wonderful videos and art is a great thing. In doing this you are making other people open their hearts and eyes and hopefully will help someone too. Godbless you in your healing! I am hugging you now. Take Care X
oscaridge 3 years ago
Thank you so much! One of the reasons I posted these videos was just to be able to bring some good out of the bad.
bleaux42 3 years ago
Well I say good on ya!
oscaridge 3 years ago
beautifully done. your story is one far to common and yet, we each bear our own scars. we must work through our pain individually in order to help each other. you know this and are well on your way. being here and sharing your story is so important. thank you for your courage and selflessness.
menspeakout 3 years ago
Thank you for commenting and also helping and sharing our stories.
bleaux42 3 years ago
Very beautifully done! remember all things can be used to help others, and then it becomes a blessing for all, if one would just stop thinking of the past and move on to good things and thoughts and stay in the present moment rather then in past thoughts one would get better very fast,remember also that no one can help another better than one who`s been there, so get well and help a hurting world to get well too !---Thanks so much--Rich
chinalover9 3 years ago
Wow...I mean thats all I can really say. Im a child of abuse but I was rescued early in my life. I mean I still have memories and stuff but other than that Im pretty much normanl. I cant imagine what it would be like for people to not believe me when I talk about my abuse. :s. Btw your art is VERY beautiful and amazing.
TabithaAndujarBryson 3 years ago
Thank you so much!
bleaux42 3 years ago
Just wanted to stop by and wish you a very happy Fourth of July...:)
snackpack113 3 years ago
Thank you!!
bleaux42 3 years ago
your drawings are so deep and have so much meaning for me, thank you
susanawaffle 3 years ago
Thank you for your support. :)
bleaux42 3 years ago
Thank you very much for posting this video. It really helped me describing my presentation about child PTSD (I'm a psychology student in Indonesia). Keep struggling, ok? Always remember that you are not alone and there are a lot of people out there that really care about you. If you need a friend to share your problem, you can drop me a message. Take care, GBU!!
ritzhi 3 years ago
Thank you so much for the encouragement. :)
bleaux42 3 years ago
i am very sorryabout what happened. i love your art. watch my newvideo about the blue ribbon pls.
scaryvidpro 3 years ago
Thank you. :)
bleaux42 3 years ago
Hi Cat. Please do write your story.
bleaux42 3 years ago
You are an amazing woman.
Powerful art work, excellent timing and graphics in your video work, and what an important message you deliver with clarity.
Thank you.
A friend.
humynism 3 years ago
Thank you so much for commenting and the compliment.
bleaux42 3 years ago
I want to post this on Stumbleup....on my site?Would that be ok?
mandycaly 3 years ago
Ugh. I was checking out that site to see what it was and added it myself. I apologize. I still don't know what it's all about. I think I'm getting too old for this. lol
Thank you for wanting to post it and if somehow I didn't add it, then yes, you can.
bleaux42 3 years ago
You are welcome~~~~As of now I guess I
won't post it, unless I hear different
from you....Be extra kind to yourself~~~~ You have a gift~~~~Deeply sorry for what you had to go through~~~To share it helps us open up and share our pain...
mandycaly 3 years ago
bless you you are a strong individual i know its hard you went through so much more than i could comprehend your story will touch so many hearts and knowing we are not alone is what helps us get through it no one understands unless you have been
elvisfan1978 3 years ago 2
Thank you so much for your kind words. *hugs*
bleaux42 3 years ago
I know it's real it's still happening under cover
fairylmh1998 3 years ago
Yes, so many people still suffer. *hugs*
bleaux42 3 years ago
I believe you.
A very well done piece.
hiyaluxx 4 years ago
Thank you. That means the world to me.
bleaux42 3 years ago
I cannot help but 'sit beside you' in your video. I cry with you ....
.
.
I remember too well !!
you are very brave
thank you for giving us a voice .... with beauty
warm hugs
DeeItsMe 4 years ago
Thank you. *hugs*
bleaux42 3 years ago
Your clip spoke to me and for me as a survivor - I thank you. I have faved it.
reVerse2bfree 4 years ago
You're welcome. Thank you for watching it.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Remember that over half the time it's either the grandfather or uncle that does it. And people wonder why we're so screwed up and why it takes so long to heal. I once read in a book that it takes just 30 seconds for a dad/uncle/grandfather to ruin the life of someone.
4841253 4 years ago
It is the ultimate act of selfishness and at a time when we are young and trusting.
bleaux42 4 years ago
That is so true. For me, it took 30 seconds for my male cousin to ruin my life. And it's going on 23 years now... may we all find the light of healing to shine down on us...
smarie210 2 years ago 2
I was abused for a long time in different ways. Even my animals. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, BPD, etc....and everybody hates me now. I've heard I'm like nails on a blackboard lol I'm actually a very forgiving person, I've forgiven everybody for everything, and I do my best not to dwell, but my brain itself seems to have been affected. I have God and that's the most important thing to me. He helps me overcome....He has seen me through it all
vivatruth 4 years ago
It's easier for most people to hate on you than to believe what you are saying is the truth. Hang in there. I know how you feel.
bleaux42 4 years ago
And He'll continue to, as He has me. If anyone went through abuse of all different sorts, it was Christ. I've forgiven my abusers too, but that doesn't wipe out the effects of what they did. Our brains have been affected, literally, in the way they've developed physically, psychologically. But we're loved now -- that's what matters most. Bleaux, I'll send you copies of my art as soon as I figure out how. :-) Hugs - Terry
BayonetM1 4 years ago 2
i wish you the best and amazing artwork
xbatsxx 4 years ago
Thank you.
bleaux42 4 years ago
we are alike.
im 14.
brianalynn13 4 years ago
*hugs*
bleaux42 4 years ago
Thank you for posting this! I was verbally abused and even though II'm out of that situation I still have problems because of my step father.
treky4 4 years ago
It takes a while to heal from the damage. I'm glad you're out of it now.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Thank you. That means a lot.
treky4 4 years ago
may you find the piece you deserve.
thank you for this video. it is compelling, sad and yet extremely beautiful because it is you who made it, with openness and honesty.
namaste.
pls accept our friend request.
menspeakout 4 years ago
Why the hell does nobody ever believe?! Is it just more comfotable for them to think that we are all lying or crazy? It makes me so sad.
maijaelisabeth 4 years ago 2
You know, I've been asking that myself. I don't understand, first of all, why someone would make something like this up. Second of all, I can't believe someone can see my artwork, read my writing and watch my videos and tell me, "You're lying. Nothing happened." I guess the world is full of all types of abusers.
Now with family...they have to stick together and keep their lie because it's more comfortable that way. Cowards, the lot of them.
bleaux42 4 years ago
This is amazing. This is the ONLY video that had made me cry without thinking about some other painful memory. I know the pain of abuse. I suffered through it for 13 years and it's something that I don't EVER want to put my kids through. It's horrible and wrong. I pray for all of those kids still stuck in the situation that I ran from a few weeks ago.
gretchen1919 4 years ago 3
I am so glad you are away from it. I hope you are in a safe place now.
bleaux42 4 years ago
I was diagnosed with PTSD a month ago -- after nearly twenty years of thinking I'd put my abuse behind me (except for the nightmares, the coping mechanisms I live by, the wondering what's wrong with me that I wasn't - and can't be loved - by other people. I also draw, paint, and write. Though my abuse wasn't sexual, but severe physical and emotional abuse, I relate to you and your haunting video. Thank you.
bayocaje 4 years ago 2
I'm so sorry you had to suffer but very glad you were diagnosed. Knowing I had PTSD helped me deal with things better. Before I just thought I was loopy or crazy like my family kept telling people. I'd love to see your art work some day.
bleaux42 4 years ago
My mother suffered not in the same way a you becuase she was never raped. She was beaten at school and at home by her mother's ever changing "husbands." She suffers from post-trematic stress (I think that's what it is called). Once she told me, that her mother left pregnant and came home a day later with no baby. She has always wondered what happened to him. Your video was very touching. I'm sorry no one helped you. (oops this is long)
swiftwings13 4 years ago 2
Thank you swiftwings13 for sharing your mom's story and your words. I am so sorry your mother had to go through that. I hope she's doing well.
bleaux42 4 years ago
So many have been there too, some cope better than you,others need to look to you for guidence , very touching, I felt your pain , and shared your experiences, I chose to forget, now it's just a distant memory, that only needs to be triggered, by something like this , I forgave that person, that was my first step, the second step was easier, as I kept walking away.
beachfrontal 4 years ago
Thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot to me to hear from other survivors.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Hugs to you~~~~I am so deeply sorry that you
have been hurt by people who were to love and nurture you! What a powerful way to recover by doing your video,writing,art and speaking your truth to us~~~~Giving others strength to speak their truths....A BIG THANK YOU~~~~Know that you are not alone~~~~We can and will make it!!!!!!
mandycaly 4 years ago 2
Thank you for your support! I appreciate it so much more than you'll ever know. :)
bleaux42 4 years ago
You are more then welcome~~~~ Be kind to yourself~~~
mandycaly 4 years ago 2
thank you for sharing your story. You not only help yourself to heal but you also help so many others who may feel so alone. God bless..
vietangel927 4 years ago 2
Thank you so much.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Because of this video, I could finally explain to my brother what I'm going through. I was abused by 1 brother, 1 adopted father. This means more than words alone can say...
musiclvr0762 4 years ago
I'm glad my video touched you although I am sorry it had to be because you experienced such pain. *hugs* Take care of yourself.
bleaux42 4 years ago
i was sexually abused at the age of 8 to.. by the person i trusted the most... my uncle. he told me he would never hurt me.
whiskeygirl42189 4 years ago
I am so sorry you had to live through that. No child should have to live through that. *hugs*
bleaux42 4 years ago
That is a great song and video. You are helping people that are abused. That there is hope. We can get through the pains of our past!
snackpack113 4 years ago
Thank you so much for watching and leaving an inspirational message.
bleaux42 4 years ago
despised and stigmatised many resort to taking the sorrows to the grave, yet which is worse? the desire for death? or or the degree of the actual suffering?...
yet another dilemma is .. no sufferer will want to see others suffering the same things.. yet without others the sufferer is all alone.
what we truely need is awareness so we can climb out of our lonely shell.
littleberryme 4 years ago
Beautiful words...thank you. I think you should make a video.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Thank you...
JaredDeLaMora 4 years ago
Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Thank you so much for sharing this. The saddest part of all of this is that it happens more than can be imagined. I'm sorry for all that you've endured, and admire you for your strength. Please remember you are never alone, and that you will be heard. You have beautiful artwork by the way:)
PetraLunaPolice 4 years ago
Thank you!
bleaux42 4 years ago
this is amazing! i have PTSD too. from being abused by moms boyfriend. but your right to heal you have to remember. you didnt deserve that and it wasnt your fault.... i believe you and in you. :)
hippop56 4 years ago
It means so much for someone who has been there to understand and believe me.
bleaux42 4 years ago
If you are all touched by this subject, please ACT NOW. Visit kelseyspurpose . org and make a difference. This sweet little girl lost her life in a tragic way while her father was off serving in Iraq. For more information, please, I urge you to look up "Kelsey Briggs" and make a difference in the lives of children who need you more than anything.
jaimelex 4 years ago
A very sad story thanks for sharing.
silrlady 4 years ago
never again...
reading that just makes it so clear how some children are cast aside and their parents make them out to be liars and attention seeking.
have you ever read the autobiography of Dave Pelzer
if you haven't it's called a child called it. the lost boy. a man named dave.
all rolled into one book.
he was abused by his mother and now he's grown up he sort of helps people overcome it or something
dessimateddreamer 4 years ago
I'd like to one day be able to help people too. Thank you for watching my video and taking the time to comment.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Together we can stop the way the world views chldhood trauma.
silrlady 4 years ago
you should be very proud of yourself
adulis1 4 years ago
I'm trying to be. :)
bleaux42 4 years ago
I just have to say firstly, you are so brave and strong. Being able to post what happened to you.I can't say that I have ever experienced the same you have, but I just want you to know that I believe you, every word. Keep strong and remember there will always be people to stick behind you and give you support. All my love and best wishes.
LilyMarieEvansPotter 4 years ago
Thank you! You made my day. :)
bleaux42 4 years ago
I believe you one hundred percent and I think the work you have produced is wonderful. They don't know the damage they do. Keep up the good work, reading the comments it appears your hitting home. From a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
steash111 4 years ago
Thank you so much. It means a lot to me to have your support.
bleaux42 4 years ago
I'm sorry about ur parents and uncles. I no a lot of families deny stuff like that, but I believe u.
ProofAngel556 4 years ago
Thank you so much for watching and commenting. It means a lot to me that you believe. *hugs*
bleaux42 4 years ago
that was soooooo sad i loved it and added it to my fvorites. i'll tell my friends about it so they can watch it. although i have never been abused i still can't imagine the pain u guys went through as children.
love u .xoxoxoxoxo!!!!!
angel246883 4 years ago
Thank you so much for caring. It means a lot to me and other survivors.
bleaux42 4 years ago
itachicloud 4 years ago
Thank you for sharing that beautiful poem.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Thanks! yaaaa...i never get commented on this stuff...
I'm not abused by parents...but other kids used to bully me...liker punch and push me over chairs...i'd come home with punch of bruises and my parents would ask, and i say i dont know...
itachicloud 4 years ago
I don't know why people think it's okay to hurt someone else. Why don't you tell your parents? Maybe they can do something to help.
bleaux42 4 years ago
Because i'm really anti socail and have a proble talking to adults...like i feel like they'll think less of me, but i know they won't. But now i only get shoved. Secretly. Most people don't really want to touch me now cause i'm the 'creapy scary goth' to them. So now i only get shoved and started at and sometimes teased so i'm okay with it. I had told my parents when i was younger. The teachers didn't do much...so i see no point. Any way, its random people now.
itachicloud 4 years ago
I am so sorry you or anyone else for that matter has to go through that... i went through something similar so i can understand at least a little what your're going through... I am so so sorry to be able to say that!!
kenzie1812 4 years ago
Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to leave me a comment. It means a lot to me.
bleaux42 4 years ago
no thank you... you've helped me so much!!
kenzie1812 4 years ago
I'm also a survivor diagnosed with PTSD who holds on to faith and hope for healing. I've been saved and relocated but my family denies everything. It helps to know others know how I feel and other families deny the truth.
deedeedee878 4 years ago
It does help me to know there are others out there. I feel kind of selfish saying that but I feel we need to seek each other out. We're kind of the only families we have.
bleaux42 4 years ago
I'm so glad that your video exists. It said more than what just words can say. Thank you for helping me feel buried feelings with your video, and thanks for letting us post the video with our article. Glad you liked the article too :)
TheHotPotatoes 4 years ago