Sounds just like christianity, just because he don't belive the guy can't wait for him to become a tree, so he can cut him down...but! Then he wants to drag him threw the mud, take him to a saw mill and cut him up, then pound him into paper and make a bible out of him. It did say one thing, after hundreds of years christianity hasen't changed a bit.
Turn over a US Dollar Bill. See that "all seeing eye" as the capstone on the Pyramid? That is the all seeing eye of Horus/Lucifer and at the base of that Pyramid are Latin words that translate to a New World Order. The Illuminati are so heavily documented a 5th grader writing their first research paper could easily write a factual report. Illuminati have a name for the mind-controlled brain dead, sheeple. Laugh it up class, cause your ass is on their menu with mint jelly.
jimmytheloch is a spoken word artist and emcee that also shares the religion views and tries to expand your mind.. his new album is called [a cult following].. it is definitely worth the listen =]
taking into account the bigotry and american corporations, god would have smited the U.S. by now. to wrap up this excessively long, but completely overdue explanation, it’s just inconsiderate to assume anyone wants to be blessed, by god or otherwise, and it wouldn’t be up to you anyway.
this brings me to my next and final point. religious people have no place “god-blessing” people. they have no idea whether or not their god, pretending for a second that he's real, would bless these people. or, an a larger scale, would “god bless america”. in fact, i’m fairly certain, considering the U.S.’s track record of devastating choices, this so-called god wouldn’t bless america at all - because, isn’t he supposed love everyone and look down upon greed?
people who are muslim, for example, don't believe in the christian or catholic god and therefore don’t want to be blessed by “someone” that stands for something they don’t believe in. say you encounter a satan-worshipping man and you sneeze so he says “let the devil influence you”. would you be okay with that? would you be thankful that this man “blessed you” on the devil’s behalf? see? it’s silly.
first off, come down from the delusion that, just because you do, everyone else aspires to be "blessed" by a fictional being that, according to the bible, supports slavery, bigotry, sexism, etc. secondly, think about people, atheists or not, that you're offending by assuming they think being "blessed by god" is as high praise as you do.
no, see, he's totally missing the point. usually dane cook is funny..but this video. this is crap. well first off, even disregarding that dane cook probably exaggerated and changed things a bit, this example of an atheist isn't indicative of all atheists or some shit. much like the westboro baptist church isn’t representative of all religious people. the point is, it really is stupid and offensive for people to say "god bless you".
I guess I probably believe in 1 less thing than you and that would be :the Bronze age Gods Yahweh/Adonai/Jehovah
I guess you could also list Odin Allah Hern Pan etc.- But of course, their worshippers weren't as incredibly fortunate as you, in that you seem (by sheer accident) to have been born into a society which appears to worship the only 'Real' God out of all those man-made fakes, well Done !!
he spewed so much negativity and hate, and why? cause someone smirked at him for believing in theory obsolete for centuries. typical christian. they should be laughed at
See Atheist find humor in George carlin's comedy....which to be honest is the worse humour and i dont like to consider it humour. Carlin is Garbage. This guy is an entertainer for all you retards.
@DancingRockInc he is a joke raper, you are kidding right? oh god, i dont think you heard yet...........god bless you and your family........................
It looks like you deleted your comment, @LaloLinathLee, but...
"@Xionc Dane Cook sucks, yeah? So that's why he's worth $30 million? That's why his 2nd CD went double platinum making Dane the first comic in 29 years with an album at #4 on the Billboard charts? Well, I'd certainly hate to see what your idea of being "great" is."
So if you're successful, you're forgiven for being shitty? Should we applaud the cast of Jersey Shore for making lots of money? Carlos Mencia? Carrot Top?
@Xionc so hes worth $30 million.... so were the spice girls, it just proves there are alot of idiots and yes a lot of his jokes are funny, because he steels them. follower
I'm afraid that the religious people who find this video amusing are seriously damaged. How can one celebrate the cutting of a tree (which here represents a horrible murder of a man) and derive comfort from that. This is really sick...
@KaHabbful Dane Cook sucks, yeah? So that's why he's worth $30 million? That's why his 2nd CD went double platinum making Dane the first comic in 29 years with an album at #4 on the Billboard charts? Well, I'd certainly hate to see what your idea of being "great" is.
@TheArcaneMaster I made a single grammatical error, sue me. What I proposed to you was still a fact though and keep in mind I'd be lying if I said I gave a shit about your personal thoughts on christianity.
Pretty sad that all a comedian has to do is just say that Atheists are douchebags or something like that and all the christards go nuts over it as if atheists supposedly being douchebags somehow proves christianity right.Same type of thing happened in another asshole's stand up special.This is made worse by the fact that a lot of the great stand up comics were atheists.It's like dane and whoever else are disrespecting their comedy elders/greats by attacking atheists with their comedy.
That's funny. i'd say the epitome of stupid behavior is blindly believing in something for which there is no evidence whatsoever just because a book tells you so. This book, i might add, also says Earth is the center of the universe and that owning slaves and murdering "adulteresses" are okay. Believing that is the word of a supposedly benevolent deity is dumbfuckery if i've ever seen it.
@doctorlieberman That's why I respect you Buddhists, you seem happy and at peace with everything. Christians always seem so vindictive and fueled by fear. Most Atheists I know have respect for Buddhists.
@LaloLinathLee More so because Christians believe they are "above" nature instead of realising we came from nature and are a part of nature... Buddhists, as well as Atheists realise that we are a part of nature and that you, me, elephants, scorpions, birds, trees, plants etc. are all linked and effect each other... When I see footage of my grandparents country (Serbia) and Croatia murdering each other because their version of Christianity is slightly different I lose respect, yes.
I love that he's trying to do a stupid voice to make the atheist sound like an idiot. He didn't need to do that, If he talked normally it would already be the voice of an idiot...
lol this situation wouldnt happen since even tho the sentence has the word god in it its not considerd religious but more of a saying. and no on is stupid enough to react like that.
I guess Dane Cook believes in a cool FUCKING God who doesn't mind him fucking cussing and getting laughs at other peoples expense. I hear Jesus had a great standup routine. Not the right platform Dane. When you add "shits" and "fucks" to support your belief in a god, it comes out sounding a little disingenuous. But hey, whatever gets the laugh right?
@aburling7 That's right because not every notion of God is the one you atheist twats rail against. Sky daddy? I'd fucking slap the taste out of your mouth if you started with that shit. My God allows me to act violently, swear like a sailor and participate in general debauchery. My God understands that this universe was made for us to experience it and God will let us live and let live. Until you fuck with me. Then it's all about Bas Rutten defense system. HAHAHAHAHA
@Kostly So let me get this right, your god is an ultra-liberal badass, but he needs YOU to fight for him?
You're as delusional as those others guys who seek to destroy the "infedels", just in different clothing. You talk a good psyche-game. Represent then!
@aburling7 No, I don't need to fight for God. In fact, that's not why I'd knock a fucker out for talking smack to my face the way atheists do online. It's about respect. If you disrespect me, well, don't you think you have it coming? If not, I'm here to tell you that you do have it coming. God provides this universe and consciousness for us all to experience. Nothing more. Nothing less. God doesn't play hero for humans. We have free will for a reason. If there's hell to pay, so be it.
@Kostly Are you so insecure in your belief that you have to "knock a fucker out" for finding no reason to believe the antiquated 'idea'? Talking about a rather silly idea is not the same as talking about the people who believe it. Otherwise, if you think that getting 67 virgins when you die is, idunno, a little far-fetched, then according to you that gives anyone who believes that the RIGHT to "knock you the fuck out", right? Saving all the macho "let em try it" b.s. just answer the question.
They cut this one short. Dane was a bit more of an asshole making fun of the guy's belief that he will become part o a tree or something. The thing is the guy is right. his body will break down and become nutrients that may help a tree grow, but Dane took it as the guy would reincarnate as a tree. In short, Why am I watching Dane Cook? He sucks!
Check out my videos "Religion is ridiculous" (specifically Christianity)...good stuff...rate it!! Christians i CHALLENGE you to watch and have an open mind. Athiests go and check them out, if you like it then give them a thumbs up! Help spread the truth!
Not only is Dane Cook an idiot, he's also the least funny person I've every seen. I would laugh harder at a doctor teling me I had ested positive for AIDs.
Gitmo would have been shut down a LOOOOOOOOOONG ass time ago if they had foregone waterboarding and all that nonsense for forcing prisoners to watch Dane Cook marathons.
Who gives a shit wheter or not god is real, the main point is... Most atheists are still dumb fucks. You turned a simple 'lack of belief' into an organized religion for the butthurt. I feel bad for you basement dwellers :(
Atheism nor Religion will truly understand God, only we, can interpret why we're here on this planet so arguements about how and why we're here from anyone is still inaccurate but Christianity has more ideas about God then atheism, so I am a Catholic, but I am an also an Ideological Christian, I believe in science and God. They work together.
@mjl333000 I really like your comment I consider myself a Muslim yet I believe in science and think that no particular religion cant explain everything nor connect you spiritually with God
@85Damix If thats what you think its your problem , I dont really know how much or what you actually know about islam, I dont believe religion and science exclude each other Im not talking about the XV century or Inquisition cuz in my belief no religion is about killing , hatred ... what some people do in the name of that religion has nothing to do with what that religion stands for. But that's just how I see it :)
@bincheee16 ...so than you should look on places where is Islam and it's "phillosophy" widely applied for example Saudi Arabia, Iran, Yemen, Kashmir, Oman etc. They are all in medieval. There was no development for more tham 1000 years. Everything is imported from Secular countries like. Germany, UK, France, USA, Czech Republic, Norway and so on. Applied Islam is something horrible.
Why is everyone bringing up Dawkins in the comments? Dawkins is by FAR the worst amateur "philosopher" of the 20th and the still young 21st century. His book was the most juvenile appeal to emotion I have ever read and yet he still had the nerve to couch his beliefs as an argument for the nonexistence of a god with unfounded premises including "ought", "believe", and "hope".
And millions of atheists across the world are shitting their sweatpants from their mothers' basements at this video. Gotta love the most easily offended group of people in the world. So against believing in a god, yet worship Richard Dawkins.
@SkateObsession Im an atheist and i dont worship dawkins. Atheist or not, Dawkins is a pompous control freak and he is just as bad as the religious fanaticals, hes just at the other end of the spectrum.
However, Darwin bless George Carlin though, he was a trooper!!
@SkateObsession Well theres no point being as dramatic as dawkins is there? He makes atheists look bad just as the fanatical religious trolls make all other christians,muslims and any other religious people look bad. I got nothing against anyones beleif's.If People can beleive what they want to beleive, its not up to me to tell them what they can and cant do,it's a free world right? I just like to piss off the die hard,religious, take the bible literally sect's of any religion.
It's a bit terrifying to see the crowd find this funny the way it is not because it's ironic or situationally funny, but because it's a way to let their anger out on atheists.
@Hoafresh25 Yeah, well the joke wasn't funny. Dane Cook is a thieving hack.
It's pretty amusing that you'd use a term like "sheep" to define atheists, considering that atheism is pretty noncomformist compared to the the Christian Imperative in this country, something that actually is defined by the act of following without evidence or reason.
@TheArcaneMaster The Louis CK issue is the ONLY validated incident in which Dane Cook tried to 'recycle' material rather than actually steal it entirely. So... thieving hack no, douchebag yes. Also keep in mind 'sheep' like the atheists on youtube flock to videos like for the sole purpose of mass disliking them due to the majority being butthurt. You can disagree if you want but you can't prove me wrong. Feel free to try so I can have a nice laugh :)
@Hoafresh25 I come to the religious vids on youtube just to bait the fanatical religious crack pot, crack heads for a giggle. I find it fun, just because im an atheist and nonconformist dosen't mean i dont like stirring the pot.
We can be just as bad as you religious peep's i know, but now you know how it feels when you come knocking on our doors uninvited.
assuming you are religious, if not then..dont.>>----(knee---->
@xTheuglytruthx I don't care what you do with religious videos, even if you hate religious people or some shit I can't say I give a fuck. What I hate are HYPOCRITES who won't admit they honestly believe making fun of religion is okay by making fun of atheists is wrong.
@xTheuglytruthx Not sure what 'you guys' means since I'm neither atheist nor theists... I simply don't give a fuck and attack one of the two sides when I'm bored. Though now you're being a fuck bucket so I'll get back to not taking you seriously :)
@xTheuglytruthx you're not a special case atheist. A vast majority of "highly educated" atheists do that. But, of course, you'd never do it to someones face right? Because nearly every atheist I've ever come across I could easily kick the shit out of. Atheism is a trashcan of humanity and consciousness. That's where all the human garbage such as yourself end up. LOL I'm not even religious, either. So fuck off, peep.
@Kostly Dude, you just made absolutely NO sense! "I'm not even religious, either" Was that a continuation of your little "I can kick all Atheists asses" tirade? Or were you adding a "Dis" to religious people too?
@aburling7 What part of irreligious do you not understand? Here's the deal, most atheists would never talk shit to my face like they do on here. Else, hence, they would get their fucking asses kicked. A bunch of fucking punk kids who think they're highly educated talking smack behind a keyboard and monitor in the relative safety of their own home (probably mom's basement). So yeah, fuck atheists because they suck dicks.
@Kostly Whats with the "mom's basement" thing? does everyone think atheists are working together...from there "moms basement"? lol, Im in my own home, which i own, i live very very far away from my "mum" and beleive me when i say, if i saw you in the street and started talking "smack" you wouldn't have the balls to take a swing. Fair enough i could just be making my self out to be tough but you'll never know will you?
@Kostly Awww, You think im highly educated, how sweet. Remember, the key word you used was "nearly".Nearly every atheist you come across you could kick the shit out of!! NEARLY.
But, who am I to stop you from making your self sound tough with a keyboard though?
@JAKETHEGREAT11100 I'm not a christfag you stupid fuck. You're an atheist fag though so not only are you a hypocrite but you're also a basement dwelling piece of shit... right? :)
so atheist? means beliving in recarnation? atheist dosnt give a definition on after life. just means not beliving in god. dane cook dosnt know shit. and the joke isnt funny too boot.
Sounds just like christianity, just because he don't belive the guy can't wait for him to become a tree, so he can cut him down...but! Then he wants to drag him threw the mud, take him to a saw mill and cut him up, then pound him into paper and make a bible out of him. It did say one thing, after hundreds of years christianity hasen't changed a bit.
justwingingit 2 hours ago
One of his few decent jokes. It elicits a chuckle at least...
sparkymaxis 4 hours ago
Dane Cook for the win !
NAWFMATIC 7 hours ago
I'm not a dane cook fan, but this was funny lol
MrMrahill 9 hours ago
@charlie10433 Aww did I 'hert your fellings'? It's okay to be butthurt... quit being a faggot though. LOL :)
Hoafresh25 9 hours ago
this is why you just say bless you
capitals721 11 hours ago
Lol at atheist who can't take a joke.
stickmymasta 11 hours ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Turn over a US Dollar Bill. See that "all seeing eye" as the capstone on the Pyramid? That is the all seeing eye of Horus/Lucifer and at the base of that Pyramid are Latin words that translate to a New World Order. The Illuminati are so heavily documented a 5th grader writing their first research paper could easily write a factual report. Illuminati have a name for the mind-controlled brain dead, sheeple. Laugh it up class, cause your ass is on their menu with mint jelly.
waketheoblivious 11 hours ago
Who disliked this? Fuck you
whsfight123 12 hours ago
This has been flagged as spam show
jimmytheloch is a spoken word artist and emcee that also shares the religion views and tries to expand your mind.. his new album is called [a cult following].. it is definitely worth the listen =]
urineabox 13 hours ago
Seriously atheists people.. He's not making fun of atheists, he's making fun of the guy that sneezed. Duhh!
missvolleyball411 14 hours ago
@missvolleyball411 still wasn't funny
Manekdk 7 hours ago
taking into account the bigotry and american corporations, god would have smited the U.S. by now. to wrap up this excessively long, but completely overdue explanation, it’s just inconsiderate to assume anyone wants to be blessed, by god or otherwise, and it wouldn’t be up to you anyway.
bellavator94 15 hours ago
this brings me to my next and final point. religious people have no place “god-blessing” people. they have no idea whether or not their god, pretending for a second that he's real, would bless these people. or, an a larger scale, would “god bless america”. in fact, i’m fairly certain, considering the U.S.’s track record of devastating choices, this so-called god wouldn’t bless america at all - because, isn’t he supposed love everyone and look down upon greed?
bellavator94 15 hours ago
people who are muslim, for example, don't believe in the christian or catholic god and therefore don’t want to be blessed by “someone” that stands for something they don’t believe in. say you encounter a satan-worshipping man and you sneeze so he says “let the devil influence you”. would you be okay with that? would you be thankful that this man “blessed you” on the devil’s behalf? see? it’s silly.
bellavator94 15 hours ago
first off, come down from the delusion that, just because you do, everyone else aspires to be "blessed" by a fictional being that, according to the bible, supports slavery, bigotry, sexism, etc. secondly, think about people, atheists or not, that you're offending by assuming they think being "blessed by god" is as high praise as you do.
bellavator94 15 hours ago
no, see, he's totally missing the point. usually dane cook is funny..but this video. this is crap. well first off, even disregarding that dane cook probably exaggerated and changed things a bit, this example of an atheist isn't indicative of all atheists or some shit. much like the westboro baptist church isn’t representative of all religious people. the point is, it really is stupid and offensive for people to say "god bless you".
bellavator94 15 hours ago
Comment removed
charlie10433 18 hours ago
@charlie10433 iss that whatt you do......donttt lie :D
pjyg51241 17 hours ago
@pjyg51241 what are you talking about?
charlie10433 11 hours ago
Comment removed
charlie10433 18 hours ago
I'm an atheist. And I found this hilarious.
misswildcat115 21 hours ago
Dane, you say, COVER YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.
jac4020 21 hours ago
all of u should like shut the fuck up, its caled a joke. get dem sticks outa all asses
sk8ter11122 22 hours ago
1. The "Theater In The Round" approach in this case seems so narcissistic.
2. Is fancy editing supposed to make a person "more" funny?
3. I see a lot of hype here, but no substance.
lloyd614 1 day ago
yeah pretty sure atheists dont believe in reincarnation so dane cook your argument is as flawed as your comedic ability
awesomedude69ftw 1 day ago
haha only good dane cook joke ive heard. look at all the butthurt atheists on here. "oh its not funny uhhhh". Shut up. Its funny cuz its true
borgoff55 1 day ago
@borgoff55 the videos you like are disliked by most, in this situation, its because they are fucking stupid and untrue.
iBobDaBuildah 18 hours ago
i liked dane cook, i even saw him live. then i grew a brain.
tyroneisyourbaby 1 day ago
@tyroneisyourbaby You can't 'grow' a brain you dumb fuck.
Hoafresh25 1 day ago
It's funny... because it's not.
20BCeltics 1 day ago 15
You haterz suck monkey ball Dane is the MAN! he does LIKE A BOSS! mutha fukaz
adam95512 1 day ago
I hope when this 'Damn Cock' guy dies,he's buried and absorbed into the ground and becomes a tree, and they print some nun/horse porn on him..
You can just feel how much psychological baggage he's built up over the years through justifiing his religion can't you.?
But the real joke is a 2000 year old fairytale , now THAT's Funny.!
AsDeadAsDillinger 1 day ago 2
@AsDeadAsDillinger and ur just a dumbass that believes in nothing. good luck with that
borgoff55 1 day ago
@borgoff55
Believes in nothing ?
I guess I probably believe in 1 less thing than you and that would be :the Bronze age Gods Yahweh/Adonai/Jehovah
I guess you could also list Odin Allah Hern Pan etc.- But of course, their worshippers weren't as incredibly fortunate as you, in that you seem (by sheer accident) to have been born into a society which appears to worship the only 'Real' God out of all those man-made fakes, well Done !!
AsDeadAsDillinger 1 day ago
Hahah, come on this is funny!!
FutureAbe 1 day ago
He is just not funny. Who like this shit?
lllidlll 1 day ago
he spewed so much negativity and hate, and why? cause someone smirked at him for believing in theory obsolete for centuries. typical christian. they should be laughed at
mimosveta 1 day ago
lame, glad to see this has more negative votes than positive ones. humanity surprised me positively here.
mimosveta 1 day ago
womp. not really funny or clever.
Skullz747 1 day ago
it'd be funny if he were an atheist.
i dunno what to think...
btw: he's like "duh, i have a relationship with jeeeeezuz, and his daddy, and they loooove me."
:D
Here0s0Johnny 1 day ago
I wouldn´t say he´s Claes Eriksson or Monty Python in any way, but I found it at least somewhat funny.
LoverofLiszt 1 day ago
omg this is shit! what garbage comedian he is.
drasteek 1 day ago
This guy is a comedian?
diztypo 2 days ago
See Atheist find humor in George carlin's comedy....which to be honest is the worse humour and i dont like to consider it humour. Carlin is Garbage. This guy is an entertainer for all you retards.
robert33182 2 days ago
@robert33182 I might not be the one to object sense I´ve only seen one Youtube video of each, but wouldn´t you agree that this vid is losing to this?
/watch?v=2cjRGee5ipM&feature=related
LoverofLiszt 1 day ago
What a horribly immature, childish and unfunny bastard. This was awful. Christian nutter.
ChainsawVsGod 2 days ago
Dude, this guy is fucked up in the head.
"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF SOMEONE JUST CHOPPED HIM UP AND GRINDED HIM IN A SAWMILL?"
CJKay93 2 days ago
He should have ended the joke with him being made into a tissue.
BaxterChipSmith 2 days ago
It seems unlikely that they'd print a bible on the tree given that it's a dying religion.
2point7etc 2 days ago
this dude has never been funny in any way whatsoever....simple fact hes a fagget....fuck religion
charlie10433 2 days ago
@charlie10433 You spelled faggot wrong... faggot.
Hoafresh25 2 days ago
@Hoafresh25 you didn't put an apostrophe at the end of faggot!....faggot!!
xTheuglytruthx 2 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx What part of 'I'm not taking you seriously' do you not understand? Troll harder please :)
Hoafresh25 2 days ago
@Hoafresh25 Lol, it's hard to troll someone who puts a smiley face at the end of his comments ;)
xTheuglytruthx 1 day ago
@xTheuglytruthx I know right :)
Hoafresh25 1 day ago
@Hoafresh25 haha.
xTheuglytruthx 1 day ago
@Hoafresh25 you would know faggot
charlie10433 1 day ago
@charlie10433 shut up faggot... FAGGOT!
Hoafresh25 1 day ago
@Hoafresh25 you mad bro?
charlie10433 20 hours ago
Wheather he's christian or not is irrelevent. He's not funny.
TheMrmi22 2 days ago
now i know why the idiots love him
TheLordRaidus 2 days ago
@DancingRockInc your right no one is laughing
RDexter17 2 days ago
When Dane Cook was a kid and told people he was going to be a comedian they laughed at him. Well no-one's laughing now.
DancingRockInc 2 days ago 56
@DancingRockInc So true.
EclecticSceptic 16 hours ago
@DancingRockInc you are way funnier than dane cook, i cried while laughing at this pun!!!
faller006 10 hours ago
@DancingRockInc he is a joke raper, you are kidding right? oh god, i dont think you heard yet...........god bless you and your family........................
deviantcock 6 hours ago
It looks like you deleted your comment, @LaloLinathLee, but...
"@Xionc Dane Cook sucks, yeah? So that's why he's worth $30 million? That's why his 2nd CD went double platinum making Dane the first comic in 29 years with an album at #4 on the Billboard charts? Well, I'd certainly hate to see what your idea of being "great" is."
So if you're successful, you're forgiven for being shitty? Should we applaud the cast of Jersey Shore for making lots of money? Carlos Mencia? Carrot Top?
Xionc 2 days ago
@Xionc so hes worth $30 million.... so were the spice girls, it just proves there are alot of idiots and yes a lot of his jokes are funny, because he steels them. follower
TheLordRaidus 2 days ago
@TheLordRaidus I agree with you.
Xionc 2 days ago
this guy's meant to be funny??
Dawnphyre 2 days ago
Irony doesn't make your religion true.
jandabrock 2 days ago
I'm afraid that the religious people who find this video amusing are seriously damaged. How can one celebrate the cutting of a tree (which here represents a horrible murder of a man) and derive comfort from that. This is really sick...
lachezar43 3 days ago
@lachezar43 Or you're just a butthurt idiot... you think about that for a minute.
Hoafresh25 2 days ago
Dane Cook is the worst comedian there is today. I have not found a joke yet in his standup. He might as well do interpretive dance.
KaHabbful 3 days ago
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@KaHabbful Dane Cook sucks, yeah? So that's why he's worth $30 million? That's why his 2nd CD went double platinum making Dane the first comic in 29 years with an album at #4 on the Billboard charts? Well, I'd certainly hate to see what your idea of being "great" is.
LaloLinathLee 2 days ago
@KaHabbful It's like with scripture. You can only get the joke if you gave your bleeding heart to Jebus.
Voxnulla 2 days ago
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All religion is nonsense. Jesus was an imaginary character from a book of myths. For clarity see "Religious Fanatic debates Atheist" on my channel.
Sweence 3 days ago
This made me like Dane Cook a little bit.
Werewolvesareawesome 3 days ago
I recon I could flail my arms around too. That makes me a christian
TheForce623 3 days ago
@TheArcaneMaster I made a single grammatical error, sue me. What I proposed to you was still a fact though and keep in mind I'd be lying if I said I gave a shit about your personal thoughts on christianity.
Hoafresh25 3 days ago
Pretty sad that all a comedian has to do is just say that Atheists are douchebags or something like that and all the christards go nuts over it as if atheists supposedly being douchebags somehow proves christianity right.Same type of thing happened in another asshole's stand up special.This is made worse by the fact that a lot of the great stand up comics were atheists.It's like dane and whoever else are disrespecting their comedy elders/greats by attacking atheists with their comedy.
AtheistFMD518 3 days ago
Back to spread some 'moar' hate... why are atheists such dumb fucks? Is it because...
A) They just are
B) They're hypocrites
C) They're stupidity makes them more religious than theists
Trick question it's all of the above :)
Hoafresh25 3 days ago
@Hoafresh25 You mean *their* stupidity? -smirk-
That's funny. i'd say the epitome of stupid behavior is blindly believing in something for which there is no evidence whatsoever just because a book tells you so. This book, i might add, also says Earth is the center of the universe and that owning slaves and murdering "adulteresses" are okay. Believing that is the word of a supposedly benevolent deity is dumbfuckery if i've ever seen it.
TheArcaneMaster 3 days ago
I'm a Buddhist, and I don't want any of my Atheist friends to become Bible paper.
doctorlieberman 3 days ago
@doctorlieberman That's why I respect you Buddhists, you seem happy and at peace with everything. Christians always seem so vindictive and fueled by fear. Most Atheists I know have respect for Buddhists.
83uoykcuf 3 days ago
@83uoykcuf So you have no respect for all Christians because the majority of them have become extremists?
LaloLinathLee 2 days ago
@LaloLinathLee More so because Christians believe they are "above" nature instead of realising we came from nature and are a part of nature... Buddhists, as well as Atheists realise that we are a part of nature and that you, me, elephants, scorpions, birds, trees, plants etc. are all linked and effect each other... When I see footage of my grandparents country (Serbia) and Croatia murdering each other because their version of Christianity is slightly different I lose respect, yes.
83uoykcuf 2 days ago
Do you remember when Dane Cook was funny?
Nah.... neither do I.
Christmasgoat 3 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
/watch?v=Wz-3_nJg_Es
Answer this question then talk shit bitch
Mutulu123 3 days ago
Hes a terrible comedian, with many over dramatic animated exaggerations.
Dane Cook Everybody, He'll be here all night.
SPEEDLSDADDICT 3 days ago
Quite the arrogant douche bag... Eh, but if you can just get passed his condescending tone and just take his jokes as 'jokes' then its pretty good.
aussj4link 3 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
The Bible: Putting the 'fiction' into crucifiction since the Iron Age
1984LizardKing 3 days ago
I love that he's trying to do a stupid voice to make the atheist sound like an idiot. He didn't need to do that, If he talked normally it would already be the voice of an idiot...
Kornspel 3 days ago
Fuck this guy's shit.
jimmybob12 3 days ago
The dalai lama walks into a pizza restaurant and ask's the guy behind the counter "can you make me one with everything?"
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx i saw an interview where someone told this joke to the Dalai Lama and he didn't get it. heh.
TheArcaneMaster 3 days ago
Jesus walks into a hotel with a bag of nails and ask's the guy behind the counter "can you put me up for the night?"
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
lol this situation wouldnt happen since even tho the sentence has the word god in it its not considerd religious but more of a saying. and no on is stupid enough to react like that.
bornacriminal 3 days ago
@bornacriminal trust me these things do happen everyday but you just don't see it that's all
wisdom261 3 days ago
I guess Dane Cook believes in a cool FUCKING God who doesn't mind him fucking cussing and getting laughs at other peoples expense. I hear Jesus had a great standup routine. Not the right platform Dane. When you add "shits" and "fucks" to support your belief in a god, it comes out sounding a little disingenuous. But hey, whatever gets the laugh right?
aburling7 4 days ago 3
@aburling7 That's right because not every notion of God is the one you atheist twats rail against. Sky daddy? I'd fucking slap the taste out of your mouth if you started with that shit. My God allows me to act violently, swear like a sailor and participate in general debauchery. My God understands that this universe was made for us to experience it and God will let us live and let live. Until you fuck with me. Then it's all about Bas Rutten defense system. HAHAHAHAHA
Kostly 4 days ago
@Kostly So let me get this right, your god is an ultra-liberal badass, but he needs YOU to fight for him?
You're as delusional as those others guys who seek to destroy the "infedels", just in different clothing. You talk a good psyche-game. Represent then!
aburling7 4 days ago
@aburling7 No, I don't need to fight for God. In fact, that's not why I'd knock a fucker out for talking smack to my face the way atheists do online. It's about respect. If you disrespect me, well, don't you think you have it coming? If not, I'm here to tell you that you do have it coming. God provides this universe and consciousness for us all to experience. Nothing more. Nothing less. God doesn't play hero for humans. We have free will for a reason. If there's hell to pay, so be it.
Kostly 4 days ago
@Kostly Are you so insecure in your belief that you have to "knock a fucker out" for finding no reason to believe the antiquated 'idea'? Talking about a rather silly idea is not the same as talking about the people who believe it. Otherwise, if you think that getting 67 virgins when you die is, idunno, a little far-fetched, then according to you that gives anyone who believes that the RIGHT to "knock you the fuck out", right? Saving all the macho "let em try it" b.s. just answer the question.
aburling7 3 days ago
@Kostly Ummm...and who/what is YOUR god exactly?
TheArcaneMaster 3 days ago
This guy is absolutely correct
ihyottha 4 days ago
Weak execution and charmless humor from another deluded Christian schmuck. We'll be using you as toilet paper.
srimecrime 4 days ago
The thing that Dane Cook did not know, was that a tree cannot be separate from the whole of The Universe, so they are one. lol
KaiTendo174 4 days ago
They cut this one short. Dane was a bit more of an asshole making fun of the guy's belief that he will become part o a tree or something. The thing is the guy is right. his body will break down and become nutrients that may help a tree grow, but Dane took it as the guy would reincarnate as a tree. In short, Why am I watching Dane Cook? He sucks!
Ausaini17 4 days ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
Check out my videos "Religion is ridiculous" (specifically Christianity)...good stuff...rate it!! Christians i CHALLENGE you to watch and have an open mind. Athiests go and check them out, if you like it then give them a thumbs up! Help spread the truth!
gasmask4poop 4 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@gat0rgirl13 Why don't any anti-religion videos get mass disliked?
Why is it okay when people make fun of religion and theists but not atheists?
Why isn't there ANY other dane cook video on youtube with this many dislikes?
Answer at least one question before I can take you seriously and your little 'everyone does that.
proof: justin beiber videos, & rebecca black's friday'
comment proves my point.
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
A 2 minute story with horrible payoff. That's Dane Cook in a nutshell.
Xionc 4 days ago 15
@Xionc You do realize this was edited for the sake of time. The full segment is 8 minutes long dumbass...
Hoafresh25 3 days ago
@Hoafresh25 Oh, so it was 8 minutes of story with horrible payoff? I see.
Xionc 3 days ago 2
Comment removed
LaloLinathLee 2 days ago
its kinda funny but, his actions are too dramatic
Rwroblewski27 4 days ago
I actually thought it was pretty funny, though I am an atheist.
christo930 4 days ago
fantastic :)
85Damix 4 days ago
Not only is Dane Cook an idiot, he's also the least funny person I've every seen. I would laugh harder at a doctor teling me I had ested positive for AIDs.
Gitmo would have been shut down a LOOOOOOOOOONG ass time ago if they had foregone waterboarding and all that nonsense for forcing prisoners to watch Dane Cook marathons.
therzaoflollygags 4 days ago
Would have been funnier if he eventually became a Kleenex. C'mon Dane.
ChannelPettis 4 days ago
Im an athiest/Agnostic but you have to admit this is fucking hilarious
yogos44 4 days ago
@yogos44 I call it.... Agnatheist
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
Who gives a shit wheter or not god is real, the main point is... Most atheists are still dumb fucks. You turned a simple 'lack of belief' into an organized religion for the butthurt. I feel bad for you basement dwellers :(
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 harry... why are we stupid for not choosing to think there is an imaginary flying spaghetti monster?
kazmanli 4 days ago
@kazmanli relax I'm trolling the atheists SPECIFICALLY on this video. Genuine Dane Cook haters shook take no offence to my trolling :3
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 ok lol, haters gona hate...
kazmanli 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 lol, trolling atheists. thats another oxymoron you guys have come up with, bravo "golf clap" brovo sir.
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
Failed to offend... just lame :I
TTDMFfreaknew 4 days ago
Atheism nor Religion will truly understand God, only we, can interpret why we're here on this planet so arguements about how and why we're here from anyone is still inaccurate but Christianity has more ideas about God then atheism, so I am a Catholic, but I am an also an Ideological Christian, I believe in science and God. They work together.
mjl333000 5 days ago
@mjl333000 I really like your comment I consider myself a Muslim yet I believe in science and think that no particular religion cant explain everything nor connect you spiritually with God
bincheee16 4 days ago
@bincheee16 islam and science does not go together
85Damix 4 days ago
@85Damix If thats what you think its your problem , I dont really know how much or what you actually know about islam, I dont believe religion and science exclude each other Im not talking about the XV century or Inquisition cuz in my belief no religion is about killing , hatred ... what some people do in the name of that religion has nothing to do with what that religion stands for. But that's just how I see it :)
bincheee16 4 days ago
@bincheee16 ...so than you should look on places where is Islam and it's "phillosophy" widely applied for example Saudi Arabia, Iran, Yemen, Kashmir, Oman etc. They are all in medieval. There was no development for more tham 1000 years. Everything is imported from Secular countries like. Germany, UK, France, USA, Czech Republic, Norway and so on. Applied Islam is something horrible.
85Damix 4 days ago
I've always found him to be a one hit wonder noob that only idiots and conformists liked to listen too... dane cook sucks.
phorse 5 days ago
Wow this wasn't funny in the least but at least it linked me to ricky gervais' take on atheism, which is actually funny and insightful.
JBic420 5 days ago
instead of paper how about a cross to nail dane cook to. then he would make me laugh.
steb413 5 days ago
Why is everyone bringing up Dawkins in the comments? Dawkins is by FAR the worst amateur "philosopher" of the 20th and the still young 21st century. His book was the most juvenile appeal to emotion I have ever read and yet he still had the nerve to couch his beliefs as an argument for the nonexistence of a god with unfounded premises including "ought", "believe", and "hope".
soCernunnos 5 days ago
And millions of atheists across the world are shitting their sweatpants from their mothers' basements at this video. Gotta love the most easily offended group of people in the world. So against believing in a god, yet worship Richard Dawkins.
SkateObsession 5 days ago
@SkateObsession Im an atheist and i dont worship dawkins. Atheist or not, Dawkins is a pompous control freak and he is just as bad as the religious fanaticals, hes just at the other end of the spectrum.
However, Darwin bless George Carlin though, he was a trooper!!
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx good, finally an atheist that's modest.
SkateObsession 3 days ago
@SkateObsession Well theres no point being as dramatic as dawkins is there? He makes atheists look bad just as the fanatical religious trolls make all other christians,muslims and any other religious people look bad. I got nothing against anyones beleif's.If People can beleive what they want to beleive, its not up to me to tell them what they can and cant do,it's a free world right? I just like to piss off the die hard,religious, take the bible literally sect's of any religion.
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
@SkateObsession Because it's fun. Simple as that.
I never said i was a nice guy ALL the time, lol.
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
I feel like 5 years ago this video wouldn't have this many dislikes.
fences22 5 days ago
Wow. That's pretty ridiculous.
TheArcaneMaster 5 days ago
It's a bit terrifying to see the crowd find this funny the way it is not because it's ironic or situationally funny, but because it's a way to let their anger out on atheists.
Falloutglitch 5 days ago
that was pretty lame
chillinpotato5 5 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
funny but cute
fivequotes 5 days ago
wow, i have learned a great deal from this vid. most important of which: dane cook is not funny.
timmay301 5 days ago
How does one define the atheists on this video?
A) Dumb fucks too stupid to know how to take a joke
B) Pathetic basement dwelling sheep
C) Low-life hypocrites
Trick question, it's actually all of the above :)
Hoafresh25 5 days ago
@Hoafresh25 D) Someone who doesn't believe in God
KedViper 5 days ago
@Hoafresh25 Yeah, well the joke wasn't funny. Dane Cook is a thieving hack.
It's pretty amusing that you'd use a term like "sheep" to define atheists, considering that atheism is pretty noncomformist compared to the the Christian Imperative in this country, something that actually is defined by the act of following without evidence or reason.
TheArcaneMaster 5 days ago
@TheArcaneMaster The Louis CK issue is the ONLY validated incident in which Dane Cook tried to 'recycle' material rather than actually steal it entirely. So... thieving hack no, douchebag yes. Also keep in mind 'sheep' like the atheists on youtube flock to videos like for the sole purpose of mass disliking them due to the majority being butthurt. You can disagree if you want but you can't prove me wrong. Feel free to try so I can have a nice laugh :)
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 "atheists on youtube flock to videos like for the sole purpose of mass disliking them"
everyone does that.
proof: justin beiber videos, & rebecca black's friday
gat0rgirl13 4 days ago
Comment removed
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 I come to the religious vids on youtube just to bait the fanatical religious crack pot, crack heads for a giggle. I find it fun, just because im an atheist and nonconformist dosen't mean i dont like stirring the pot.
We can be just as bad as you religious peep's i know, but now you know how it feels when you come knocking on our doors uninvited.
assuming you are religious, if not then..dont.>>----(knee---->
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx I don't care what you do with religious videos, even if you hate religious people or some shit I can't say I give a fuck. What I hate are HYPOCRITES who won't admit they honestly believe making fun of religion is okay by making fun of atheists is wrong.
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 I never said making fun of atheists was wrong. Its fun seeing what you guys have to throw back at us...keep it up.
Good talk, speak soon.
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx Not sure what 'you guys' means since I'm neither atheist nor theists... I simply don't give a fuck and attack one of the two sides when I'm bored. Though now you're being a fuck bucket so I'll get back to not taking you seriously :)
Hoafresh25 4 days ago
@Hoafresh25 Thats the spirit!!
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx you're not a special case atheist. A vast majority of "highly educated" atheists do that. But, of course, you'd never do it to someones face right? Because nearly every atheist I've ever come across I could easily kick the shit out of. Atheism is a trashcan of humanity and consciousness. That's where all the human garbage such as yourself end up. LOL I'm not even religious, either. So fuck off, peep.
Kostly 4 days ago
@Kostly Dude, you just made absolutely NO sense! "I'm not even religious, either" Was that a continuation of your little "I can kick all Atheists asses" tirade? Or were you adding a "Dis" to religious people too?
aburling7 4 days ago
@aburling7 What part of irreligious do you not understand? Here's the deal, most atheists would never talk shit to my face like they do on here. Else, hence, they would get their fucking asses kicked. A bunch of fucking punk kids who think they're highly educated talking smack behind a keyboard and monitor in the relative safety of their own home (probably mom's basement). So yeah, fuck atheists because they suck dicks.
Kostly 4 days ago
@Kostly Whats with the "mom's basement" thing? does everyone think atheists are working together...from there "moms basement"? lol, Im in my own home, which i own, i live very very far away from my "mum" and beleive me when i say, if i saw you in the street and started talking "smack" you wouldn't have the balls to take a swing. Fair enough i could just be making my self out to be tough but you'll never know will you?
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
@Kostly Awww, You think im highly educated, how sweet. Remember, the key word you used was "nearly".Nearly every atheist you come across you could kick the shit out of!! NEARLY.
But, who am I to stop you from making your self sound tough with a keyboard though?
xTheuglytruthx 3 days ago
@Hoafresh25 did you really just call athiests sheep? im not going to point out the irony here
JAKETHEGREAT11100 5 days ago
@JAKETHEGREAT11100 lol
xTheuglytruthx 4 days ago
@xTheuglytruthx this guy hoafresh is a typical christian...a hypocrite
JAKETHEGREAT11100 2 days ago
@JAKETHEGREAT11100 I'm not a christfag you stupid fuck. You're an atheist fag though so not only are you a hypocrite but you're also a basement dwelling piece of shit... right? :)
Hoafresh25 2 days ago
@Hoafresh25 you call me a basement dwelling piece of shit but youre the one trolling a youtube video everyday. once again i wont point out the irony
JAKETHEGREAT11100 17 hours ago
so atheist? means beliving in recarnation? atheist dosnt give a definition on after life. just means not beliving in god. dane cook dosnt know shit. and the joke isnt funny too boot.
crazedmartinez 6 days ago
Thumbs up if you clicked on this video just to di0slike it because it's fucking lame ass Dane Cook.
toonsmyth 6 days ago
there are a few factual problems with this joke:
1. the chances of finding a person who defines himself as "atheist" that believes in souls would be kind of a tough one...
2. wood that used for the paper industy is not chopped by hand.
3. most bibbles, by far, are printed on Woodfree uncoated paper, which, as the name states, is made without wood.
i have to say, dane cook got pretty close to discribing an actual atheist in his made-up little story, for a theist... but was still horribly off base
henkjansmazaag 6 days ago
When the Ten Commandments says thou shalt not steal, does that include other comedian's jokes?
SoftwareTheft 6 days ago 3
@SoftwareTheft and software
timmay301 5 days ago
Why would this offend atheists? Just people who are rude and don't cover their mouth when they sneeze cause that shit is disgusting.
braxxo 6 days ago
@braxxo im an athiest...and i find this shit funny. lol
luxlupe 6 days ago <