omg, that is me in a nutshell and i wish i would have seen this video before, maybe stopped myself and prevented things like real love from getting to me. now im miserable, sitting here being lonely. I guess I can deal for right now, I am independent, but watching this video brings back the feelings and emotions and memories. ugh. really helpful though, thanks b scott (: <3 much love.
Are you jeopardizing a potential relationship with the guy you asked us if you should call??? What ever happened with him. You said you were going on a date with him and never posted anything else about it.
this is now my fav vid on youtube cuz this almost made me cry cause thats exactly how i feel right now and i know i need to correct that before i loose something thats been the best damn thing ive had in 5 years
We all have the broken-hearted tape, a script to follow in the JUST IN CASE BOX of our psyche. The best advice is to pray and look at this chosen closely, and remember that every love is different. In the words of Steve Harvey: "God would not create you a soulmate and not allow you to meet him."
yea... i am doing that now... i am subconsciously tryin to have control over the relationship; meaning im going to do something wrong to mess it up before he dose...
im glad im not the only person that feels the same way...i find myself in the same position, but im tryna change that. Its up to you to realize that you might have sumthin good and to open your heart becuz u dnt want to hurt the other person the same way u were hurt.
Actually, yeah. I just... recently. I mean two weeks ago have finally stopped ruining things for myself because of my insecurities from being hurt way back when like... four years ago. So yeah, I so understand this. I'm with my fiance who is now in the service but my insecurities from way back when came back before he left to leave there and I almost... ALMOST destroyed my two year relationship because of my idiocy of being abandoned and fear of being left if I'm not constantly around.
That is definitely the truth. Because the real person comes out and then shit starts going down hill. because its like the person is not at all who you first met.
yes i have . . . and unfortunately i let the person that was treating me better slip away and i went back to what it seemed like a "comfort zone" to my ex that was treating me like shit and unfortunately im still in the situation right now and im trying to find an outlet. Dont let something good slip away because you will regret it. As like i did . . . . .
I hate when that happens!!! I am the exact same way! I have the habit sometimes to be nonchalant or have a guard up around who I really am with guys because I really dont want to get hurt again the way I did. So its definitely normal, I believe almost everyone who's been hurt has a guard up around them because of how bad their heart has been damaged. I do believe that if the person you are with understands and cares for you, they'll understand and wont give up so easily.
Even after three years I find myself doing the same thing. I love my fiance with all my heart but I find myself pushing him away when I feel insecure about myself and when I think about past relationships. I've found what helps with it is just being honest. I tell him what I am feeling and why I feel that way. That way he knows it's not him that's making me be a little 'off'.
BScott.... 2:40 says it all... We have to protect our hearts because out of it flows the issues of life... Be Strong and always go with your gut instincts...
Relationships never faill, except by the fact they did not produced what we want, but thats because the relationship was entered for the wrong reasons or just because you liked the person but didn't really knew how she, he was. We have no compromises with anyone, anything, we have only opportunities....to choose who we really want to be.
you enter a relationship to find out wat a person is all about...because ppl don't show who they truly are until they feel like they have you..n obviously you arent obligated to that person unless they thru a baby in ya belly or a ring on ya finger and drug u down to the court house...relationships fail when they weren't who they were precieved to be or showing u when you first met them...
I always do that just b/c i think that even though they're all good now they could turn out to be this horrible person. Im always assuming that they will just be like the rest!!!
OH MY GOD B Scott!!! There isn't anyone in my life right now but i AM rejecting any and EVERYone who approaches me with those kinds of intentions and it's prob wrong im prob missin out but too am protecting myself. Ive taken it to the extreme tho. I don't kick it with guys like at all. I've made it so I can keep it mostly estrogen and almost no testosterone this summer cuz i know i want nothin to do with any guy. I know it's a bit intense but am I wrong in doing that?
Yea.... Man..... I can definitelty relate to u love muffin!!! I've met a wonderful woman but I always compare her to the one that hurt me.... So sometimes I block her out or do things that would make her push away from me.... So you were on the mark when u said you were trying to protect your heart....
in the words of TLC i'm damaged, i'm so much to manage i think they should know my hearts been damaged i'm falling in love the one this advantege its that i'm am damaged
wow I went through the same thing not too long ago i was in this wonderful relationship for 4 years and 8 months then things went really bad and it affected me sooo much that at one point i was not caring I went through a mini time in my life were i didn't care about being hurt weather the guy was good or not it was scary i had to find myself again so I really feel you on this one its not fun and it does take time to heal urself.
im doing the same thing.... :( .. im scared. i dont know if im ready to love again. my last story (the first important one) cost me too much and now i have to recuperate all that energy.the guy im dating is great..but i might not have enough to offer him at the moment. sad ?yes. but real .. and like you said,i cant blame myself for protecting myself.
Yes I lost a good man like that. I did everything in my power to push him away. He kelpt saying why am i doing this to him, why wont i let him love me like i deserve. When he finally walked away and gave up and became the perfect man to some one else. I almost died. Now i have a second chance. My current boyfriend is like him, he loves me inside out and i have to catch myself sometimes because i do things to him that pushes him away cuz it feels to good to be true.
Well, this video is old but Im going through it right now. I'm currently talking to someone but sometimes I feel that they think Im out to hurt them or something so they "jeopordize the relationship" ..I'm starting to get stressed.. :-/
the reason y B u jeopardized is b-cuz u dont let go of the past n if u really got feelin 4 that someone special than the jeopard thing u got going will go away in do time b-cuz that speical person will change ur mind and that wat i call tru love
When some one new comes in to the picture and make u c new thing in life
I can relate so much to you. I'm with someone right now and I'm doing some funny stuff ya know....Not nothing crazy lol just funny stuff...I gotta do better !!!!
yes I have been there and I am there now, but sometimes it is best to regroup and get yourself back on track before you step into another relationship or another situation. Sometimes that other person can hurt you to the point where you are and can be scared to open yourself up to another person.
Yes. i have done that many times! in fact im tryin not to go it right this second! there was this boy and i liked him a lot so then he broke up with me so now im in a relationship with this boy and his best friend likes me and the best friend thinks i still like him. so he flirts with me a lot and i let it happen. and i flirt with other boys around him. and i love this boy this boy that im with is all i have wanted. so yes im on the same page.
I just broke up with my boyfriend last night because of this EXACT reason! for like 2 weeks i straight acted like a bitch for NO reason. and things were going great.
OMG.. Yes.. Im going thru the same thing right now.. seriously.. I was in a severe depression for 3 months.. I just started back dating and i'm really feeling this guy, but i'm doing the same thing that u were doing.. jeopardizing the relationship..
we've all done it cuz like shirly said "if a dog bites you the first time its the dogs fault and if that same dog bites you the second time its your own fault" and none of us want to feel stupid or foolish enough to let the same thing happen twice...but the key is to heal, to forgive and NEVER forget. if you forget you allow others to do it also but to fogive you learn to trust again. and more importantly you love again
I know how that is. You see what you are doing yet you are trying to not let your heart fall for this dude who possibly might be everything you have been waiting for. Happens all the time with me. I am damaged too!...have to learn to fall with the heart, meaning trust again ...and not let the mind decide if you want things to change.
I can see where you're coming from. I often push people away for that same reason. I don't want 'em getting too close 'cause I feel like I might get hurt.
I 100% know where you're coming from. I won't go into my life story but ever since birth (I was adopted) my life has been filled with bad relationships. so for me, a chaotic relationship is normal. I was in the best relationship of my life, happy 24/7, I was in love. because it was so wonderful, I psychologically & subconciously NEEDED to destroy it. & that's what I got. in the end I hurt myself. He & I are no longer friends & I also lost several other friends as well. I wish things were fixed.
Well since my last relationship blew up in flames nobody HAS come correct 2 me so therefore i haven't jeapordized a great person bc they haven't come but yes i am scared of getting hurt that's why i kinda just lost the will 2 even get back into the dating world and if a guy happens 2 catch my attention i never try 2 pursue him or whatever bc i'm terrified of getting hurt like my ex has hurt me in the past
i have done it before. actually right no i'm trying to deny myself any kind of relationship because i don't want to risk going through what i been through befor with men, it's too hard to have to fall so many times and get cut so deeply and then just dust yourself off and try again. but i still try hard to leave the past in the past and try for a fresh start and i think you should too B.
P.S.: especially if it's the fine ass bredren who was like "what took you so long to call?" cuz mmm! xoxo
well, in order to be in a relatioship you must be ready and willing to give your all. in b scott situation he should talk to someone first and deal with his issue with trust in dating, then when he is ready which i think he will know then dating would be an option
this often happens when you do not know our worth, we become fearful because of being afraid of hurt. You learn to override that fear when you know your worth. Know your worthy and if they can not see YOUR WORTH then the hell to them...and yes this is coming from a pastor
i feel the same way that u do.i am sumwat sick of love.i have fellas tryna get at me all the time sum gud sum bad but i let em kno love is jus not 4 me.ive loved so many times and have had nothing 2 show 4 it but footprints n my heart
Step out on faith B... What God has for you is for you... If your potential baby daddy is for you then you'll know it, if not you will see the signs way before he hurts you... So step out and keep your eyes open for hurt and your heart open to love...
&, I found someone new, and I think seeing as she was also deeply hurt by her past relationship, she is jeapordizing what we could potentially have. But if theres one thing i learned, Im not going to stay in a relationship where I'm giving 150 percent and getting 50. Thats just my thought.
I'm in that situation right now. Except I'm the victim in it. You see, Ive spent a long time with a person I thought could've been the right one for me. But the tables took a turn on me, and I ended up being hurt. Now, when I find someone worthwhile I make sure I treat them like they deserve to be treated.
Im in a situation like that now . but the guy that i talk to told me the reason ; he says dat people tend to reject things that they arent use to . so maybe thats what u were going thru...u werent use to being loved the way that u were suppose to be loved so u just rejected it . i hope i helped u a little bit and i hope i helped any others thats goin thru this situation right now =]
i can relate 100% and my heart aches whenever i think about it. its so difficult to trust again, love again and i tend to shy away from those i love just because of that fear of gettin a broken heart ...... its difficult. :S becasue i am tired of being single
My boyfriend and i been together for 3 months now and he's doin everything right, but its just me that dont have trust in him, kind of like the singer KHIA when se sung(dont trust no nigga no) and for some reason i cant trust him, because of my past relationships. It keep hindering me from loving him B. I dont want to get hurt anymore but its affecting our relationship, its also pushing him away from me.
My boyfriend and i been together for 3 months now and he's doin everything right, but its just me that dont have trust in him, kind of like the singer KHIA when se sung(dont trust no nigga no) and for some reason i cant trust him, because of my past relationships. It keep hindering me from loving him B. I dont want to get hurt anymore but its affecting our relationship, its also pushing him away from me.
i can relate! quick story: i was talking to this guy for a couple years. he waited around for me (cuz i was so scared of getting hurt) until a couple months ago. i didn't realize that it was him who i really wanted, but now he's with some other girl. =/ we can't run away forever babe. we need to live a little, even if it means getting hurt. mUuuUuah i adore you!
i'm in dat situation now i love my new boyfriend i dont want to end up hurtin him because i have trust issues. my ex was a dogg i will never forgive him 4 wat he put me through but i thanked him because i would have never met my love of my life rite now
I view all the excess attention that i get from guys around me( aside from my brotherly friends) as them being only after my body and not anything else, so i fear that they will leave me once i've dealt with them. my last bf left me for someone else, and said some very hurtful things to me, things that left me in soo much pain. it's been over a year and yet i am scared to start dating because i don't want to go through that again.
omg u hav actually opend my eyes! i do that alot and never understood y until u just sed! and now it all makes sence to me! double kisses mwah mwah xxxx
oh man im in love with this guy and i do a lot of thing.just because im scared that his going to hurt me again like he did in the past and im just trying to make it to where i dont get hurt again but idk.
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alryt dude u need to c a phyciatrist (dont no how to spell that) if ure dressin up like a girl atleast shave your frigin face i can see your tash any way u voice scares the shit out of me wen that voice an that face come together its my worst nightmare
YES Gurl i luve for this season especially, this one about jeopardizing a RELATIONSHIP.... U BETTER WORK LOVE MUFFINS GO OFF GURL..LOL Jonathan Gibson
I am tired of being hurt which is why I have so many walls up. My last 4 relationships were just awful. 3 of the 4 cheated and lied 2 my face. I caught 2 of the 3 in the act. My very last relationship was so tough because he didn't know how 2 communicate his thoughts and feelings like a normal adult. I'M TIRED, but I have hope (thank u LORD). If this new guy is coming correct than u must come correct as well. Be honest about where you are, ask him to be patient with u & agree 2 take baby steps.
we have all been through hurt, But ya got take chances cause if you dont you may have passed up on something special...Give it a chance... Life is a chance and well we get hurt over and over, But we end up stronger.
Yes but don't punish the new good man for what some bad man did to you in the past. Open your mind and heart. Start out clean and learn to love and trust again!!! Love you!!!
B. SCOTT PREAAAAAAAAAAAAACH. I haven't even been in a relationship and I allowed myself to be vulnerable two times and got hurt badly in both occasions. Usher has a new song called "His Mistakes" that talks about how the other person shouldn't have to past for the last person's mistakes. But it's like if your heart is damaged why would you allow yourself to get back to that state you were once in... and that's what I struggle with, there have been so many potentials in my life and i'll PURPOSELY
mess them in order to not allow myself to get back to the way I used to be... it's just hard to trust in this day and age. I feel as though if the right one comes along then they will be patient with me and allow me to get comfortable and allow me to go slow and allow myself to be vulnerable again. Life is so short, but you don't have to put up with bullshit... and you shouldn't have to...
i have been hurt severly by sum1 i truly loved...i gave my self 2 this 1 person (he was my 1st) and he felt special b-kuz he knew that...but he went out and cheated on me numerous times and i found that out thru 1 of my friends. I realized that i become 2 scared or suspicious about tha person i'm with and i eventually drive that person away...i dont even kno that i do it..but i messed up this gr8 relationship i was in all b-kuz i was 2 scared 2 get hurt again..
B. Scott, I wrote a novel called "JADED" and it's really about "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH LOVE AND LOVE'S NOT THROUGH WITH YOU." This is the ENTIRE context of the novel. So many people are in open relationships--trying to date a new person WHILE you are still "IN" the old relationship. So many people, spiritually, emotionally, literally, try to destroy something new because of fear!
It breaks my heart because we have to trust ourselves and our new choices and lessons learned!
Long Story Short... 1 year and a half of 6 hours or more with him... ended with a mild form of physical violence, him "attacking" me. The new relationship I am in... it took me 5 months to get out of the Pushing the new person away because I don't want to get hurt ordeal. It takes time. Just have open communication... and LET THE OTHER PERSON KNOW . If its right, the other person will HELP YOU GO THROUGH IT. Its normal to have a defense mechanism, this ours. Love and Trust [can] take time.
ohh ma gosh i hear u girl..it is the same thing with me but see it kinda different but yea i have been in a relationship wen i loved the guy dearly but afta like 3 months it was ova and it hurt me really bad to this day no matter how much i try to get ova it i cant i mean there is no more feelings there we goot friends and everything i just cant forgive him and its like dude im wit now acts da same way i act like i dont care and its killin me i dnt kno wat to do at all!
I've been on the other end of that relationship. My boyfriend has some serious trust issues because of the hurt his ex brought down on him. The way we've gotten through it is he just talks about it with me, and we have good days and bad days and it's just...sometimes it hurts really bad that he still can't trust after a year of us being together has gone by. But you'll get through it, sweetie, and your S.O. better take damn good care of you. We all love you too much to see you hurt again.
I have done some crazy shit to basically destroy a wonderfully,stable,and great relationship that i've been in. I'm still walking around with the same hurt and fear that a relationship from 2000 has left me with. Its too a point where I will stick it out with a bad relationship than go and find happiness in a great one b/c I'm less likely to get hurt. But every day I try to work on myself so hopefully one day I can be in relationship without holding on to past fears.
hey b scott i dont kno if im late with this answer but yes girl im goin thru this right now nd i can honestly say its dat im doin wat ur doin only b cuz i dont want 2 get hurt again so it kind of natural but then again sometime we as women say dat we want these things in a man but when we get it its really not wat we want we want da total opposite do dat makes since 2 u..da only thing i can say is just follow ur heart and mayb u just need to wait a little god wont let u down girl keep ur head up
BScott, I LOVE All your songs that you listen to. PLEASE tell us in the info of the vids what songs you listen to because I LOVE Them and I really want to know what song they are sometimes!
I'm in exactly the same situation as booey here. I've recently broken up with my last partner and its hurt me so bad I feel I can't love like that again, I don't want to be hurt again, so I find myself sleeping around because im afraid if finding that Mr Right, having a great time and ruining all because im scared of being hurt..
I say go for it, you only live once.
If your not ready and you KNOW your not ready then take it slowly, and let things bloom into a beautiful relationship.
I sure can relate to this B.Scott.... My last relationship hurt me to the point where now I tell mysel I dont want another relationship, now all I want to do is sleep with men and leave them so there can be no ties left behind, making sure I would never get hurt... Does that make me whore, a slut, nasty?? Is it a phase I'm going through..> Whats really going on?? And like you said, maybe your last encounter hurted you mor than you really expected/know... Is that my situation I ask myself??
i hear you B....my friends tell me i'm subconciously self destructive because i dont let others get close.....but at the same time i wanna experience love....its like an internal contradiction
Ok B, this is SO true and you are SO not alone. I was hurt very badly by someone that I fell for and it just crushed me. Every man that I've met since has paid for it because they have been compared to him and kept at arm's length because of him.
It is definitely a defense mechanism and it's good that you identified it. We cannot change what we don't acknowledge, yes?
OMG... This is just what I needed to hear this morning becuz I just met the ONE and Im scared that I may not be what he wants and refuse to call him back.... It so childish...RIGHT (He really has been putting in the effort to get to know me, but I just feel like In not ready) But, then again how will I ever know if Im ready.. Sad thing about it is I really do want HIM in my LIFE
I haven't dated since my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me. Well, it was a funny story on how the break up began but I have been scared to date since.
you know u never will know until you try "hey b qoute "That What does not kill us makes us stronger" unquoete gooo for it, it wont kill you i promise ,u goooooo do ittt
I can relate to that very well but I also realize that I can't let what someone has done to me in my past relationship affect a new one. That is too much power to give anyone. You have to come to a point that you forgive that person and move on. I do not believe in making someone pay for someone elses pain they inflict on me. If it comes to that point where you are sabotaging a potential then you are not ready and you must work through that pain. LoveBScott you are the best.
You can't make a good decision if you are blinded by fear. You have to go out on a limb for love. Sounds like you don't believe you've got to believe love muffin!
i understand exactly where u are comin from. im in a new relationship and it's hard to let go of what the person before did. i mean we had our good times, but most of the time was spent arguing and tears, and break ups just alot of mess.
yes its happened me,lets say the pertson i was with treated me real bad, and did things he shouldnt have i was only 16 at the time i was afarid still a year ago but now im not cuz i realize i cant take it out on my boyfriend now cause hes the best in the world xx
This is commitment phobia. I'm fighting with it so hard. I've been unable to invest myself into any relationship.
I didn't care until I recently asked myself why I was not into a relationship. I've noticed that there were men I would sit & talk to for hours, have a good time, but there is always a barrier I put between me & them. I make sure I'm intimidating enough for them not to even think that the moment we're spending is a date.
you should read the book "Kiss and Run" by Elina Furmann.
i know EXACTLY how you feel. ive been with a few people where i felt that i was the only one really supporting the relationship, and it would eventually end in heartbreak. ive only recently met someone who was everything ive ever wanted in a person, but i acted exactly as you described. i acted sensitive and careless every now and then in fear of the unknown. we did push through, however, after his father found out about us, he forced us to seperate, however our feelings havent changed :D
b you have a right to have your guard up...b/c if you dont protect yourself who will...i so understand that you would wanna make sure that it's right...you kno what your comfortable with and you are a very intelligent, and confident person....jus have fun and everything will work out for you
it gives you all dis happiness while youre in it, but eventually itll hurt you
youre still young, not every relationship will last and you have to keep that in mind and not put half your weight on another person. dont miss out on this chance at happiness, love is incredible and dont hold back because something that happened in the past didnt work out. and if you arent ready, dont thrive yourself to chase something that youre not set for yet.
B. Scott, I am always hurt by people. I have been taken advantage f by people I liked. Most recent a person I wen to school with which hurted. This is going make hard to trust any guy :(
I know exactly what you are saying....I almost ruined my current relationship because of fear. I had to realize that for my relationship to work, and as soon as I did, it got better. Now we're having a baby together and we are planning on getting married. I love him too much to let fear overrun me again....
Hey u...I know all to well what you mean. I am currently in a marriage that has mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physcially drains me.. It leaves me feeling unloved and unappreciated..I fear that when I leave this marriage and start a new chapter in my life I will be sitting there waiting for the onther shoe to fall.. I do think its human nature to build up that wall and listen to your inner voice scream "never again..hurt them before they hurt you".. Blessings to you sweetie!! B Good
Iyanla Vanzant explaines Somethimes we all get that "goodness allergy". That allergy is grounded in fear makes you feel like if nothing is wrong, everything must be alright. That is not true! Stop, look, listen, and open yourself to see and receive more goodness in your life! You can't make anything if you don't make a mistake!
i feel u on this one. im in a new relationship. & there are some things im not really happy about. but at the same time i really don't care because the girl i am with makes me happy, becuase i can just be myself. but the real me hasnt really been coming out. its like half of me is, & the other half is struggling to come out. & my last relationship i been hurt by her so many times & i have forgiven her so much & now me & her are not even friends anymore. so im hurtin pretty bad right now :(
i feel you 100%! i did and continue to do that to this day! it's hard to try to break out of this habit since im so use to doing what i can to protect my heart and my feelings. i have passed up on MANY possible relationships because of my fear of being hurt. so no b. scott, you are most definetely not alone.
Oh MY GOODNESS. Yes, I think anyone that has had an ex can relate to your post. You sabotage yourself, and "BOW!", you end up being alone. You know what? You can protect yourself, but DON'T stand in your own way. If you aren't ready, recognize that fact, take a baby step back from your new relationship and get yourself together. You don't want to ruin something before it even begins!
I can totally relate B! I didn't date for 4 years bcuz i was damaged so to speak from a previous relationship. I pushed someone away that really cared 4 me, but luckly he was strong enough & understood exactly what i was doing & he waited 4 years to be with me. And that's when i was ready, but b4 then i would do things 2 jeoparize my relationships, & try not to get so close. Afraid of what could be or what could happen. I wanted to have control & kno that i wouldn't get attached & could leave.
sometimes we push loved ones away so they can't push us away first. if you focus too much upon you getting hurt in this relationship, your going to get hurt because of YOURSELF! trust is a big thing in a relationship and so is communication. you might have needed more time to heal from the last relationship you were in before you started another one tho...
I swear you always touch on every delima I'm having lol. I am not having this problem but I have in the past. Actually this time around I'm on the other side of it all. Someone who I was vibing with pulled this mess on me and I totaly understand but it sucks. I think you should take your past tribulations and learn from them rather than use them to build up a defense.
I think of what you're saying is what a lot of us are guilty of... self-defeating behaviors!!! Ugh! I know that at times it's insecurities and trusts issues get the best of us. I know I've been in a relationship for the past five years, and because of issues with men in the past and trauma as well, I've put him throw the ringer. However, I know that he really loves me because he's stuck my side through all of it! It does take time to get over baggage and trust issues... trust yourself first!
I'm going to send you a message, because this box isn't log enough to tell you what you need to hear my love... But for everyone out there who is also looking for this answer is... How long are you going to hide from something that could be great!
i cant say i have been effected by past relationships but i do notice that when i like someone im not myself, i find it harder to joke around because im afraid i'll make myself look an idiot :) GO B SCOTT!
I think we all experience putting up our guard after a painful relationship cause we are so desperately trying to avoid the possibility of being hurt again but at the same time if you truely ever want to fall inlove again you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable because only through that vulnerabilty would you find true love. You have to let that pain go so that happiness can enter.
i love you b. scott. i have a situation kinda similar. i'm not jeopardizing it but i'm subconsciously being kinda an asshole just to keep him more interested. but if he doesn't like the real sweet me then i shouldn't pretend to be a bad person. but its like i never get the guys i want when i'm nice. it's stupid.
i fell in love once he broke my heart he told me i was a werido and to get lost to be onist it would of hurt a lot less if he stabed me i have never gotten over it im teriffied to fall in love my heart bleeds every day i dont know what to do b.scott have you got eny edvice please i really need some one to talk to i carnt eat /sleep i just fell so helpless xxx
YES!!! Lord KNOWS I know how you feel. I have been single 3 and a half going on 4 years because of being hurt. I'm still working on myself and had to take a step back and realize how I allowed this person to hurt me. I def feel your pain.
i think bscott if you really love that person you can overcome that by being as open as possible with your fears and past hurts so that the person doesnt misinterpet your aloofness as something negative against them just keep it real and letem know what the deal is..peace
omg, that is me in a nutshell and i wish i would have seen this video before, maybe stopped myself and prevented things like real love from getting to me. now im miserable, sitting here being lonely. I guess I can deal for right now, I am independent, but watching this video brings back the feelings and emotions and memories. ugh. really helpful though, thanks b scott (: <3 much love.
danadinosaur 11 months ago
Are you jeopardizing a potential relationship with the guy you asked us if you should call??? What ever happened with him. You said you were going on a date with him and never posted anything else about it.
cornfrank 1 year ago
god didn't gay
TheVeezu 1 year ago
this is now my fav vid on youtube cuz this almost made me cry cause thats exactly how i feel right now and i know i need to correct that before i loose something thats been the best damn thing ive had in 5 years
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yolane3ee 1 year ago
We all have the broken-hearted tape, a script to follow in the JUST IN CASE BOX of our psyche. The best advice is to pray and look at this chosen closely, and remember that every love is different. In the words of Steve Harvey: "God would not create you a soulmate and not allow you to meet him."
LaSenoraG 1 year ago
Most definitely. We have all been there at one point in our lives.
shennai 1 year ago
yea... i am doing that now... i am subconsciously tryin to have control over the relationship; meaning im going to do something wrong to mess it up before he dose...
syltovia 1 year ago
im glad im not the only person that feels the same way...i find myself in the same position, but im tryna change that. Its up to you to realize that you might have sumthin good and to open your heart becuz u dnt want to hurt the other person the same way u were hurt.
Msrinababy91 1 year ago
Can someone tell me what is the name of that song playing in the background.
moferane 1 year ago
Actually, yeah. I just... recently. I mean two weeks ago have finally stopped ruining things for myself because of my insecurities from being hurt way back when like... four years ago. So yeah, I so understand this. I'm with my fiance who is now in the service but my insecurities from way back when came back before he left to leave there and I almost... ALMOST destroyed my two year relationship because of my idiocy of being abandoned and fear of being left if I'm not constantly around.
GodAdmit 1 year ago
That is definitely the truth. Because the real person comes out and then shit starts going down hill. because its like the person is not at all who you first met.
etaniam1 1 year ago
Yesss i can relate to you B. I've been trying to live life right now.. but i maybe have found my mister right.. But im scared to take jump..
TheMsTrey 1 year ago
yes i have . . . and unfortunately i let the person that was treating me better slip away and i went back to what it seemed like a "comfort zone" to my ex that was treating me like shit and unfortunately im still in the situation right now and im trying to find an outlet. Dont let something good slip away because you will regret it. As like i did . . . . .
cassy2627 1 year ago
its true what they say
you have to love yourself to be able to love someone else , so they can love you
i think you should build on your self esteem
aylix89 1 year ago
I hate when that happens!!! I am the exact same way! I have the habit sometimes to be nonchalant or have a guard up around who I really am with guys because I really dont want to get hurt again the way I did. So its definitely normal, I believe almost everyone who's been hurt has a guard up around them because of how bad their heart has been damaged. I do believe that if the person you are with understands and cares for you, they'll understand and wont give up so easily.
itsmuSic91 2 years ago
Even after three years I find myself doing the same thing. I love my fiance with all my heart but I find myself pushing him away when I feel insecure about myself and when I think about past relationships. I've found what helps with it is just being honest. I tell him what I am feeling and why I feel that way. That way he knows it's not him that's making me be a little 'off'.
Alycatpepper 2 years ago
This is so true..im glad youve done this because i feel like it aint just me that feels like this..im in the same situation right now!x :)
KellynJoahvan 2 years ago
its good that you are truthful with yourself. realizing the problem is the first step to healing.
peacemakerandrebel 2 years ago
BScott.... 2:40 says it all... We have to protect our hearts because out of it flows the issues of life... Be Strong and always go with your gut instincts...
dancersrgreat 2 years ago
yes everybody goes through the brick wall faze
LADYEsingstheBLUES1 2 years ago
you went thru that past experience so you know in the future not to be so naive. thats how i see it bscott
dwightluffer 2 years ago
yess boo i think we all do smh *
but b. scott yhew qot a sonq for a every situation
yhew better werk it out
taylewinsky 2 years ago
who sang that song,
PoloBaby45 2 years ago
mary j blige - growing pains
Aprij2007 2 years ago
B.Scott - I feel you on this matter.
DSire275 2 years ago
Relationships never faill, except by the fact they did not produced what we want, but thats because the relationship was entered for the wrong reasons or just because you liked the person but didn't really knew how she, he was. We have no compromises with anyone, anything, we have only opportunities....to choose who we really want to be.
ranitavoladora 2 years ago
you enter a relationship to find out wat a person is all about...because ppl don't show who they truly are until they feel like they have you..n obviously you arent obligated to that person unless they thru a baby in ya belly or a ring on ya finger and drug u down to the court house...relationships fail when they weren't who they were precieved to be or showing u when you first met them...
jminor71691 2 years ago 7
I feel that way too
Kam902009 2 years ago
I always do that just b/c i think that even though they're all good now they could turn out to be this horrible person. Im always assuming that they will just be like the rest!!!
Rabbit5406 2 years ago
im terrified of being hurt again..cant take it ..dont want it ....rather stay alone after my marriage..getting divorced right now...
angelloalyssa 2 years ago
I agree with you B Scott
mistyw49686 2 years ago
*sigh*..*raises hand*..just came to the realization that i definitely do this!
genisesa 2 years ago
OH MY GOD B Scott!!! There isn't anyone in my life right now but i AM rejecting any and EVERYone who approaches me with those kinds of intentions and it's prob wrong im prob missin out but too am protecting myself. Ive taken it to the extreme tho. I don't kick it with guys like at all. I've made it so I can keep it mostly estrogen and almost no testosterone this summer cuz i know i want nothin to do with any guy. I know it's a bit intense but am I wrong in doing that?
prtywmn 2 years ago
omg....im doin dat rite now!! I"m talkin 2 an amazing God fearing man and I cant accept him in my li bc im SO scared of being hurt..AGAIN
gilchristb1 2 years ago
honey okay....i feel the same way i gotta stop that....
diannany22 2 years ago
this is exactly how i feel, b. :[ ive been feeling like this for a few days.. but now im okay.
4AMsunshine 2 years ago
YES YES YES...OMG!!!! IM SPEECHLESS
GERMONAMUSIC 2 years ago 2
Yea.... Man..... I can definitelty relate to u love muffin!!! I've met a wonderful woman but I always compare her to the one that hurt me.... So sometimes I block her out or do things that would make her push away from me.... So you were on the mark when u said you were trying to protect your heart....
I love you B. sCOTT!!!!
MsTasha429 2 years ago
It's human instict. You just wanna protect yourself from the madness that might come so u lash out so u can avoid the pain.
Natbrat31 2 years ago
in the words of TLC i'm damaged, i'm so much to manage i think they should know my hearts been damaged i'm falling in love the one this advantege its that i'm am damaged
chadwah 2 years ago
wow I went through the same thing not too long ago i was in this wonderful relationship for 4 years and 8 months then things went really bad and it affected me sooo much that at one point i was not caring I went through a mini time in my life were i didn't care about being hurt weather the guy was good or not it was scary i had to find myself again so I really feel you on this one its not fun and it does take time to heal urself.
civicchic09 2 years ago
im doing the same thing.... :( .. im scared. i dont know if im ready to love again. my last story (the first important one) cost me too much and now i have to recuperate all that energy.the guy im dating is great..but i might not have enough to offer him at the moment. sad ?yes. but real .. and like you said,i cant blame myself for protecting myself.
baci from italy :)
newyorkzbella 2 years ago
Yes I lost a good man like that. I did everything in my power to push him away. He kelpt saying why am i doing this to him, why wont i let him love me like i deserve. When he finally walked away and gave up and became the perfect man to some one else. I almost died. Now i have a second chance. My current boyfriend is like him, he loves me inside out and i have to catch myself sometimes because i do things to him that pushes him away cuz it feels to good to be true.
JeiBabi 2 years ago
yes I am going through it now.
urthanjell 2 years ago
Yes.
Wolfe
Ardenwolfe 2 years ago
Well, this video is old but Im going through it right now. I'm currently talking to someone but sometimes I feel that they think Im out to hurt them or something so they "jeopordize the relationship" ..I'm starting to get stressed.. :-/
adetola12 2 years ago
you...know...me...omg, i swear this is like the 5TH video that spell out my life and the goings on!!! double kisses♥
MsLeeLee2500 2 years ago
SO TRUE !!!
MaikaDee 2 years ago
i can relate. i really can relate to this...i did the same thing
YummyCoockie 2 years ago
"That's True. I'm wanting someone with that FEAR. "
lrhetta 2 years ago
"I'm NOT wanting someone with that Fear!! Life is so short I'm ready for a Chance B."
lrhetta 2 years ago
the reason y B u jeopardized is b-cuz u dont let go of the past n if u really got feelin 4 that someone special than the jeopard thing u got going will go away in do time b-cuz that speical person will change ur mind and that wat i call tru love
When some one new comes in to the picture and make u c new thing in life
namelessRaven01 3 years ago
i completely agree
SatisfactionGuaranti 3 years ago
I can relate so much to you. I'm with someone right now and I'm doing some funny stuff ya know....Not nothing crazy lol just funny stuff...I gotta do better !!!!
MzDyzihre 3 years ago
YEESS!! I totally feel u on this!
jaapa07 3 years ago
yes I have been there and I am there now, but sometimes it is best to regroup and get yourself back on track before you step into another relationship or another situation. Sometimes that other person can hurt you to the point where you are and can be scared to open yourself up to another person.
candi20072 3 years ago
Yes. i have done that many times! in fact im tryin not to go it right this second! there was this boy and i liked him a lot so then he broke up with me so now im in a relationship with this boy and his best friend likes me and the best friend thinks i still like him. so he flirts with me a lot and i let it happen. and i flirt with other boys around him. and i love this boy this boy that im with is all i have wanted. so yes im on the same page.
969cookiemonsta969 3 years ago
I just broke up with my boyfriend last night because of this EXACT reason! for like 2 weeks i straight acted like a bitch for NO reason. and things were going great.
janetmp87 3 years ago
OMG.. Yes.. Im going thru the same thing right now.. seriously.. I was in a severe depression for 3 months.. I just started back dating and i'm really feeling this guy, but i'm doing the same thing that u were doing.. jeopardizing the relationship..
amandadenise7011 3 years ago
is this the new dude, that you thought was laughing at u?
anonymizzle 3 years ago
we've all done it cuz like shirly said "if a dog bites you the first time its the dogs fault and if that same dog bites you the second time its your own fault" and none of us want to feel stupid or foolish enough to let the same thing happen twice...but the key is to heal, to forgive and NEVER forget. if you forget you allow others to do it also but to fogive you learn to trust again. and more importantly you love again
hottgurlamber101 3 years ago
This issue is waaay too familiar. I'm going through it right now. I chose celibacy and now I can't seem to unchoose it ... life sucks.
ultravulva 3 years ago
girl i have had that feeling before and im still going through it...i <3 u!!!
rzero890 3 years ago
I know how that is. You see what you are doing yet you are trying to not let your heart fall for this dude who possibly might be everything you have been waiting for. Happens all the time with me. I am damaged too!...have to learn to fall with the heart, meaning trust again ...and not let the mind decide if you want things to change.
beautygoddess84 3 years ago
I LOVE your eyebrows.
blkgrl1 3 years ago 2
Ive been like that all through my life and right now Im hurting really bad
RachyPtv 3 years ago
i've been there. and i've done that. and i've promised NEVER TO GET HURT AGAIN!! I am feelin you!
hartofascorpio 3 years ago
I can see where you're coming from. I often push people away for that same reason. I don't want 'em getting too close 'cause I feel like I might get hurt.
artgurl101 3 years ago
I 100% know where you're coming from. I won't go into my life story but ever since birth (I was adopted) my life has been filled with bad relationships. so for me, a chaotic relationship is normal. I was in the best relationship of my life, happy 24/7, I was in love. because it was so wonderful, I psychologically & subconciously NEEDED to destroy it. & that's what I got. in the end I hurt myself. He & I are no longer friends & I also lost several other friends as well. I wish things were fixed.
AmyRainey9 3 years ago
i love your taste in music. you should post your music list on here. or on imeem music. let me know. double kisses!!!!!!1
tangie47 3 years ago
Well since my last relationship blew up in flames nobody HAS come correct 2 me so therefore i haven't jeapordized a great person bc they haven't come but yes i am scared of getting hurt that's why i kinda just lost the will 2 even get back into the dating world and if a guy happens 2 catch my attention i never try 2 pursue him or whatever bc i'm terrified of getting hurt like my ex has hurt me in the past
DiamondsAreLove 3 years ago
O yes!! Im doing that right now!! I know I shouldnt do it but I cant stop! Im tryin to stop but it's so hard!!
KiaLuv01 3 years ago
i have done it before. actually right no i'm trying to deny myself any kind of relationship because i don't want to risk going through what i been through befor with men, it's too hard to have to fall so many times and get cut so deeply and then just dust yourself off and try again. but i still try hard to leave the past in the past and try for a fresh start and i think you should too B.
P.S.: especially if it's the fine ass bredren who was like "what took you so long to call?" cuz mmm! xoxo
hellasexyhobbit 3 years ago
I With You. Thats M3.
gfsweetie08 3 years ago
well, in order to be in a relatioship you must be ready and willing to give your all. in b scott situation he should talk to someone first and deal with his issue with trust in dating, then when he is ready which i think he will know then dating would be an option
tina181 3 years ago
this often happens when you do not know our worth, we become fearful because of being afraid of hurt. You learn to override that fear when you know your worth. Know your worthy and if they can not see YOUR WORTH then the hell to them...and yes this is coming from a pastor
TELLTHETRUTHnj 3 years ago
i feel the same way that u do.i am sumwat sick of love.i have fellas tryna get at me all the time sum gud sum bad but i let em kno love is jus not 4 me.ive loved so many times and have had nothing 2 show 4 it but footprints n my heart
brenay404 3 years ago
Step out on faith B... What God has for you is for you... If your potential baby daddy is for you then you'll know it, if not you will see the signs way before he hurts you... So step out and keep your eyes open for hurt and your heart open to love...
tibbytx1 3 years ago
&, I found someone new, and I think seeing as she was also deeply hurt by her past relationship, she is jeapordizing what we could potentially have. But if theres one thing i learned, Im not going to stay in a relationship where I'm giving 150 percent and getting 50. Thats just my thought.
samandcrystal 3 years ago
I'm in that situation right now. Except I'm the victim in it. You see, Ive spent a long time with a person I thought could've been the right one for me. But the tables took a turn on me, and I ended up being hurt. Now, when I find someone worthwhile I make sure I treat them like they deserve to be treated.
samandcrystal 3 years ago
Im in a situation like that now . but the guy that i talk to told me the reason ; he says dat people tend to reject things that they arent use to . so maybe thats what u were going thru...u werent use to being loved the way that u were suppose to be loved so u just rejected it . i hope i helped u a little bit and i hope i helped any others thats goin thru this situation right now =]
zeandraDOTcom 3 years ago
At least you caught yourself...it's too late for me.
creamyalmondz 3 years ago
i can relate 100% and my heart aches whenever i think about it. its so difficult to trust again, love again and i tend to shy away from those i love just because of that fear of gettin a broken heart ...... its difficult. :S becasue i am tired of being single
lalalaluce 3 years ago 2
yea u r right
choo403 3 years ago 2
Yes, I am in that situation right now and it is sooooo hard for me because i want o love him dearly but I have to guard because of my past.
mjk0386 3 years ago
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alexa1086 3 years ago
B can i ask u a question lovemuffin.
What do i do about me and my sweetheart.
My boyfriend and i been together for 3 months now and he's doin everything right, but its just me that dont have trust in him, kind of like the singer KHIA when se sung(dont trust no nigga no) and for some reason i cant trust him, because of my past relationships. It keep hindering me from loving him B. I dont want to get hurt anymore but its affecting our relationship, its also pushing him away from me.
lilmacbeezy08 3 years ago 3
B can i ask u a question lovemuffin.
What do i do about me and my sweetheart.
My boyfriend and i been together for 3 months now and he's doin everything right, but its just me that dont have trust in him, kind of like the singer KHIA when se sung(dont trust no nigga no) and for some reason i cant trust him, because of my past relationships. It keep hindering me from loving him B. I dont want to get hurt anymore but its affecting our relationship, its also pushing him away from me.
lilmacbeezy08 3 years ago 2
i can relate! quick story: i was talking to this guy for a couple years. he waited around for me (cuz i was so scared of getting hurt) until a couple months ago. i didn't realize that it was him who i really wanted, but now he's with some other girl. =/ we can't run away forever babe. we need to live a little, even if it means getting hurt. mUuuUuah i adore you!
annalizasmile 3 years ago 2
absolutly
mszrOckstariiszdOpe 3 years ago 2
Deffinelty can relateeee
Kriisttinnee89 3 years ago 2
i love that song!
Leandra56 3 years ago
i'm in dat situation now i love my new boyfriend i dont want to end up hurtin him because i have trust issues. my ex was a dogg i will never forgive him 4 wat he put me through but i thanked him because i would have never met my love of my life rite now
gullup0 3 years ago
YEAH...BEEN THERE DONE THAT WEARING THE T-SHIRT.
I view all the excess attention that i get from guys around me( aside from my brotherly friends) as them being only after my body and not anything else, so i fear that they will leave me once i've dealt with them. my last bf left me for someone else, and said some very hurtful things to me, things that left me in soo much pain. it's been over a year and yet i am scared to start dating because i don't want to go through that again.
renkitty1984 3 years ago
I know what you're talking about.
Codycole80 3 years ago
O LORD i hope this wasnt the guy you met who you thought was laughing at you, you better work that out
tell us what happened on the date
mccoughtry 3 years ago
omg u hav actually opend my eyes! i do that alot and never understood y until u just sed! and now it all makes sence to me! double kisses mwah mwah xxxx
sarahsdabest111 3 years ago
i do it...
iam not good at trusting anyone.
rhjeanne 3 years ago
oh man im in love with this guy and i do a lot of thing.just because im scared that his going to hurt me again like he did in the past and im just trying to make it to where i dont get hurt again but idk.
but i can relate to the b. scott
</3
rachelle marie
rachelleluvsnicholas 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
alryt dude u need to c a phyciatrist (dont no how to spell that) if ure dressin up like a girl atleast shave your frigin face i can see your tash any way u voice scares the shit out of me wen that voice an that face come together its my worst nightmare
kidcase619 3 years ago
Th3N Why yUh G3TiiN ON hiiSz ViiD3O DUMBASSz
sexcwitahtwist 3 years ago
YES Gurl i luve for this season especially, this one about jeopardizing a RELATIONSHIP.... U BETTER WORK LOVE MUFFINS GO OFF GURL..LOL Jonathan Gibson
dew8404 3 years ago
I am tired of being hurt which is why I have so many walls up. My last 4 relationships were just awful. 3 of the 4 cheated and lied 2 my face. I caught 2 of the 3 in the act. My very last relationship was so tough because he didn't know how 2 communicate his thoughts and feelings like a normal adult. I'M TIRED, but I have hope (thank u LORD). If this new guy is coming correct than u must come correct as well. Be honest about where you are, ask him to be patient with u & agree 2 take baby steps.
rich1leo 3 years ago
Hey sweetie..
we have all been through hurt, But ya got take chances cause if you dont you may have passed up on something special...Give it a chance... Life is a chance and well we get hurt over and over, But we end up stronger.
Angitia41 3 years ago 2
Yes but don't punish the new good man for what some bad man did to you in the past. Open your mind and heart. Start out clean and learn to love and trust again!!! Love you!!!
moniemiller 3 years ago 2
B. SCOTT PREAAAAAAAAAAAAACH. I haven't even been in a relationship and I allowed myself to be vulnerable two times and got hurt badly in both occasions. Usher has a new song called "His Mistakes" that talks about how the other person shouldn't have to past for the last person's mistakes. But it's like if your heart is damaged why would you allow yourself to get back to that state you were once in... and that's what I struggle with, there have been so many potentials in my life and i'll PURPOSELY
DKNJ4Lyfe 3 years ago
mess them in order to not allow myself to get back to the way I used to be... it's just hard to trust in this day and age. I feel as though if the right one comes along then they will be patient with me and allow me to get comfortable and allow me to go slow and allow myself to be vulnerable again. Life is so short, but you don't have to put up with bullshit... and you shouldn't have to...
DKNJ4Lyfe 3 years ago
i have been hurt severly by sum1 i truly loved...i gave my self 2 this 1 person (he was my 1st) and he felt special b-kuz he knew that...but he went out and cheated on me numerous times and i found that out thru 1 of my friends. I realized that i become 2 scared or suspicious about tha person i'm with and i eventually drive that person away...i dont even kno that i do it..but i messed up this gr8 relationship i was in all b-kuz i was 2 scared 2 get hurt again..
JuicyCheekz 3 years ago
B. Scott, I wrote a novel called "JADED" and it's really about "WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH LOVE AND LOVE'S NOT THROUGH WITH YOU." This is the ENTIRE context of the novel. So many people are in open relationships--trying to date a new person WHILE you are still "IN" the old relationship. So many people, spiritually, emotionally, literally, try to destroy something new because of fear!
It breaks my heart because we have to trust ourselves and our new choices and lessons learned!
KevinETaylor 3 years ago
listen to mary j blige - hurt again
unknownsimon 3 years ago
i truly do understand...maybe thats the reason why i've never been in a relationship....
Dream214 3 years ago
OMG IM LIKE CRYIN THIS IS SO TRU
freshcent 3 years ago 2
SpeaK! that's why my ass single now.lol
Aaliyahluver85 3 years ago
yes boo! omg! i am so DAMAGED! Scared as hell to move on bc i don't wanna feel that loss again.overprotecting my heart
StarQuality24 3 years ago
Long Story Short... 1 year and a half of 6 hours or more with him... ended with a mild form of physical violence, him "attacking" me. The new relationship I am in... it took me 5 months to get out of the Pushing the new person away because I don't want to get hurt ordeal. It takes time. Just have open communication... and LET THE OTHER PERSON KNOW . If its right, the other person will HELP YOU GO THROUGH IT. Its normal to have a defense mechanism, this ours. Love and Trust [can] take time.
kristalkimiko 3 years ago
ohh ma gosh i hear u girl..it is the same thing with me but see it kinda different but yea i have been in a relationship wen i loved the guy dearly but afta like 3 months it was ova and it hurt me really bad to this day no matter how much i try to get ova it i cant i mean there is no more feelings there we goot friends and everything i just cant forgive him and its like dude im wit now acts da same way i act like i dont care and its killin me i dnt kno wat to do at all!
seals222 3 years ago
I've been on the other end of that relationship. My boyfriend has some serious trust issues because of the hurt his ex brought down on him. The way we've gotten through it is he just talks about it with me, and we have good days and bad days and it's just...sometimes it hurts really bad that he still can't trust after a year of us being together has gone by. But you'll get through it, sweetie, and your S.O. better take damn good care of you. We all love you too much to see you hurt again.
soleilkerpow 3 years ago
:***QPID APPROVED***:
LUved this topic papo
lilrio2007 3 years ago
i've done the same thing. its so hard to trust again
PrissiMa06 3 years ago
So what do you think of Larry Sinclair's story about being intimate with Obama?
sunbeansnflowersluv 3 years ago
I have done some crazy shit to basically destroy a wonderfully,stable,and great relationship that i've been in. I'm still walking around with the same hurt and fear that a relationship from 2000 has left me with. Its too a point where I will stick it out with a bad relationship than go and find happiness in a great one b/c I'm less likely to get hurt. But every day I try to work on myself so hopefully one day I can be in relationship without holding on to past fears.
apryll11 3 years ago
hey b scott i dont kno if im late with this answer but yes girl im goin thru this right now nd i can honestly say its dat im doin wat ur doin only b cuz i dont want 2 get hurt again so it kind of natural but then again sometime we as women say dat we want these things in a man but when we get it its really not wat we want we want da total opposite do dat makes since 2 u..da only thing i can say is just follow ur heart and mayb u just need to wait a little god wont let u down girl keep ur head up
niesha6969 3 years ago
I totally hear and understand wher you are coming from..I do the excat same thing, I put walls / barries around myself, to protect myself.
But I am slowly learning to let those walls crumble... All that is needed is one leap in faith, everything else will fall into place...
Angelo
xoxo
Love to listing to your words of wisdom...
angelowpg75 3 years ago
NEVER AGAIN!!...I will never be hurt like I was before...NEVER!! That SOB f-cucked me over!
himarcstrong 3 years ago 5
This comment has received too many negative votes show
wooow psycho
apple2203 3 years ago
ohhh i understand 2 much
i've been dere
i know wat u mean big time
pladyfoxy 3 years ago
BScott, I LOVE All your songs that you listen to. PLEASE tell us in the info of the vids what songs you listen to because I LOVE Them and I really want to know what song they are sometimes!
oktaybahceci 3 years ago
YUP! iM G0iN THRU THAT EXACT THiNG RiGHT N0W. JUS KEEP Y0UR HEAD UP && TRY B00. THATz ALL Y0U REALYL CAN D0 iS FiGHT THEN URGE FR0M PUSHiN THEM AWAY
suchalez23 3 years ago
ohhh but so true love muffin, i am with you.
double kisses! (muahhh, muahhh!!!)
chacha1024 3 years ago
ohh, but so true love muffin!!
chacha1024 3 years ago
I'm in exactly the same situation as booey here. I've recently broken up with my last partner and its hurt me so bad I feel I can't love like that again, I don't want to be hurt again, so I find myself sleeping around because im afraid if finding that Mr Right, having a great time and ruining all because im scared of being hurt..
I say go for it, you only live once.
If your not ready and you KNOW your not ready then take it slowly, and let things bloom into a beautiful relationship.
Mwah.
marekmoo 3 years ago
I sure can relate to this B.Scott.... My last relationship hurt me to the point where now I tell mysel I dont want another relationship, now all I want to do is sleep with men and leave them so there can be no ties left behind, making sure I would never get hurt... Does that make me whore, a slut, nasty?? Is it a phase I'm going through..> Whats really going on?? And like you said, maybe your last encounter hurted you mor than you really expected/know... Is that my situation I ask myself??
booey33009 3 years ago
i hear you B....my friends tell me i'm subconciously self destructive because i dont let others get close.....but at the same time i wanna experience love....its like an internal contradiction
pink8707 3 years ago
Ok B, this is SO true and you are SO not alone. I was hurt very badly by someone that I fell for and it just crushed me. Every man that I've met since has paid for it because they have been compared to him and kept at arm's length because of him.
It is definitely a defense mechanism and it's good that you identified it. We cannot change what we don't acknowledge, yes?
Inspirations and blessings
Nat
Double kisses.. Muah.. Muah.. (lol)
Nat0526 3 years ago
OMG... This is just what I needed to hear this morning becuz I just met the ONE and Im scared that I may not be what he wants and refuse to call him back.... It so childish...RIGHT (He really has been putting in the effort to get to know me, but I just feel like In not ready) But, then again how will I ever know if Im ready.. Sad thing about it is I really do want HIM in my LIFE
MsJBossy 3 years ago
I haven't dated since my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me. Well, it was a funny story on how the break up began but I have been scared to date since.
Kitterbug16 3 years ago
you know u never will know until you try "hey b qoute "That What does not kill us makes us stronger" unquoete gooo for it, it wont kill you i promise ,u goooooo do ittt
mmoran3 3 years ago
I can relate to that very well but I also realize that I can't let what someone has done to me in my past relationship affect a new one. That is too much power to give anyone. You have to come to a point that you forgive that person and move on. I do not believe in making someone pay for someone elses pain they inflict on me. If it comes to that point where you are sabotaging a potential then you are not ready and you must work through that pain. LoveBScott you are the best.
janake7 3 years ago
You can't make a good decision if you are blinded by fear. You have to go out on a limb for love. Sounds like you don't believe you've got to believe love muffin!
ThIsGyrLisPosion 3 years ago
i understand exactly where u are comin from. im in a new relationship and it's hard to let go of what the person before did. i mean we had our good times, but most of the time was spent arguing and tears, and break ups just alot of mess.
Neena816 3 years ago
yes its happened me,lets say the pertson i was with treated me real bad, and did things he shouldnt have i was only 16 at the time i was afarid still a year ago but now im not cuz i realize i cant take it out on my boyfriend now cause hes the best in the world xx
juliemusic87 3 years ago
This is commitment phobia. I'm fighting with it so hard. I've been unable to invest myself into any relationship.
I didn't care until I recently asked myself why I was not into a relationship. I've noticed that there were men I would sit & talk to for hours, have a good time, but there is always a barrier I put between me & them. I make sure I'm intimidating enough for them not to even think that the moment we're spending is a date.
you should read the book "Kiss and Run" by Elina Furmann.
akashaVSenkil 3 years ago
i know EXACTLY how you feel. ive been with a few people where i felt that i was the only one really supporting the relationship, and it would eventually end in heartbreak. ive only recently met someone who was everything ive ever wanted in a person, but i acted exactly as you described. i acted sensitive and careless every now and then in fear of the unknown. we did push through, however, after his father found out about us, he forced us to seperate, however our feelings havent changed :D
mrpanda101 3 years ago
b you have a right to have your guard up...b/c if you dont protect yourself who will...i so understand that you would wanna make sure that it's right...you kno what your comfortable with and you are a very intelligent, and confident person....jus have fun and everything will work out for you
sweetadenhonee 3 years ago
love is like a high b :]
it gives you all dis happiness while youre in it, but eventually itll hurt you
youre still young, not every relationship will last and you have to keep that in mind and not put half your weight on another person. dont miss out on this chance at happiness, love is incredible and dont hold back because something that happened in the past didnt work out. and if you arent ready, dont thrive yourself to chase something that youre not set for yet.
thedoubletake 3 years ago
B. Scott, I am always hurt by people. I have been taken advantage f by people I liked. Most recent a person I wen to school with which hurted. This is going make hard to trust any guy :(
Honeypassion 3 years ago
amen!
FloeticSoulSista 3 years ago
I know exactly what you are saying....I almost ruined my current relationship because of fear. I had to realize that for my relationship to work, and as soon as I did, it got better. Now we're having a baby together and we are planning on getting married. I love him too much to let fear overrun me again....
MellaBaby1 3 years ago
Hey u...I know all to well what you mean. I am currently in a marriage that has mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physcially drains me.. It leaves me feeling unloved and unappreciated..I fear that when I leave this marriage and start a new chapter in my life I will be sitting there waiting for the onther shoe to fall.. I do think its human nature to build up that wall and listen to your inner voice scream "never again..hurt them before they hurt you".. Blessings to you sweetie!! B Good
imaniwrites 3 years ago
I agree. I tend to let my walls down, when I know I shouldn't. I need to build walls.
Honeypassion 3 years ago
Iyanla Vanzant explaines Somethimes we all get that "goodness allergy". That allergy is grounded in fear makes you feel like if nothing is wrong, everything must be alright. That is not true! Stop, look, listen, and open yourself to see and receive more goodness in your life! You can't make anything if you don't make a mistake!
SHADILADY678 3 years ago
i feel u on this one. im in a new relationship. & there are some things im not really happy about. but at the same time i really don't care because the girl i am with makes me happy, becuase i can just be myself. but the real me hasnt really been coming out. its like half of me is, & the other half is struggling to come out. & my last relationship i been hurt by her so many times & i have forgiven her so much & now me & her are not even friends anymore. so im hurtin pretty bad right now :(
shorty1469 3 years ago
i feel you 100%! i did and continue to do that to this day! it's hard to try to break out of this habit since im so use to doing what i can to protect my heart and my feelings. i have passed up on MANY possible relationships because of my fear of being hurt. so no b. scott, you are most definetely not alone.
illusive1ne 3 years ago
Oh MY GOODNESS. Yes, I think anyone that has had an ex can relate to your post. You sabotage yourself, and "BOW!", you end up being alone. You know what? You can protect yourself, but DON'T stand in your own way. If you aren't ready, recognize that fact, take a baby step back from your new relationship and get yourself together. You don't want to ruin something before it even begins!
Dantesbaby77 3 years ago
I can totally relate B! I didn't date for 4 years bcuz i was damaged so to speak from a previous relationship. I pushed someone away that really cared 4 me, but luckly he was strong enough & understood exactly what i was doing & he waited 4 years to be with me. And that's when i was ready, but b4 then i would do things 2 jeoparize my relationships, & try not to get so close. Afraid of what could be or what could happen. I wanted to have control & kno that i wouldn't get attached & could leave.
bryonna325 3 years ago
sometimes we push loved ones away so they can't push us away first. if you focus too much upon you getting hurt in this relationship, your going to get hurt because of YOURSELF! trust is a big thing in a relationship and so is communication. you might have needed more time to heal from the last relationship you were in before you started another one tho...
xnedluverx 3 years ago
I swear you always touch on every delima I'm having lol. I am not having this problem but I have in the past. Actually this time around I'm on the other side of it all. Someone who I was vibing with pulled this mess on me and I totaly understand but it sucks. I think you should take your past tribulations and learn from them rather than use them to build up a defense.
collapoppa24 3 years ago
I think of what you're saying is what a lot of us are guilty of... self-defeating behaviors!!! Ugh! I know that at times it's insecurities and trusts issues get the best of us. I know I've been in a relationship for the past five years, and because of issues with men in the past and trauma as well, I've put him throw the ringer. However, I know that he really loves me because he's stuck my side through all of it! It does take time to get over baggage and trust issues... trust yourself first!
joneel68 3 years ago
Heya B.Scott!
I'm going to send you a message, because this box isn't log enough to tell you what you need to hear my love... But for everyone out there who is also looking for this answer is... How long are you going to hide from something that could be great!
B0yW0nd3rAz 3 years ago
did you go on that date b. scott???
YaDadDigzMe 3 years ago
i cant say i have been effected by past relationships but i do notice that when i like someone im not myself, i find it harder to joke around because im afraid i'll make myself look an idiot :) GO B SCOTT!
themightiestboosher 3 years ago
I think we all experience putting up our guard after a painful relationship cause we are so desperately trying to avoid the possibility of being hurt again but at the same time if you truely ever want to fall inlove again you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable because only through that vulnerabilty would you find true love. You have to let that pain go so that happiness can enter.
China1115 3 years ago
i love you b. scott. i have a situation kinda similar. i'm not jeopardizing it but i'm subconsciously being kinda an asshole just to keep him more interested. but if he doesn't like the real sweet me then i shouldn't pretend to be a bad person. but its like i never get the guys i want when i'm nice. it's stupid.
anyway, love from tokyo!
samusamu 3 years ago
you aint alone b scott
hell im the same way
i see it has well that person did this and this and then this happened
so i be just a lil scared now wit nu folks
jst to not get hurt but yeah I FEEL YOU ON THAT
2domino0 3 years ago
your videos are the best of youtube. from argentina, a big kiss to you!
34275255 3 years ago
i fell in love once he broke my heart he told me i was a werido and to get lost to be onist it would of hurt a lot less if he stabed me i have never gotten over it im teriffied to fall in love my heart bleeds every day i dont know what to do b.scott have you got eny edvice please i really need some one to talk to i carnt eat /sleep i just fell so helpless xxx
scottishcooke 3 years ago
Now YOU know that what GOD has joined together...!!!
Stand on ya faith, mami, and MOVE forward!!
mizjahaira 3 years ago
YES!!! Lord KNOWS I know how you feel. I have been single 3 and a half going on 4 years because of being hurt. I'm still working on myself and had to take a step back and realize how I allowed this person to hurt me. I def feel your pain.
jsone07 3 years ago
i think bscott if you really love that person you can overcome that by being as open as possible with your fears and past hurts so that the person doesnt misinterpet your aloofness as something negative against them just keep it real and letem know what the deal is..peace
detraubuynv 3 years ago
I second that!!
Talk to him, because you deserve to be happy!
Express your fears, keep it real B.
tiny237i 3 years ago
YOU SPEAKING THE TRUTH! Been there and done that.. I've learned my lesson.
My mom always told me ..
What one man does.. shouldn't affect the next man..
Don't mess it up with the next brother...
kymmirox 3 years ago