Club Safety

[IWantMyVisionBack]

This video reminds me of why us males should have the utmost respect for females.

[IWantMyVisionBack]

I can see that you healed through the event you faced in college, which is good.

Peace & Blessings.

[usagichan8781]

im glad you are strong because i know so many others aren't

[meheh12345]

THATS HORRIBILE!but the way you said it made me feel a little better in the end

[Tokyo171]

i wonder why it is japan has such a high alcohol intake? Even though japan is supose to be the one of the safest countries in the world, I have to wonder how safe it is? There must be a ton of un-reported rapes and other crimes there assosiated with alcohol. the other thing is that i hope to live there someday and would like to experience some of the festivals so my other quesrtion is, if they expect you to drink how do u say no if u dont drink? Id hate to insault them...

[Jameelah265]

i'm glad you made this video. we just talked about this in my gender studies class and the statistics are alarming! we need more people like you, Alafia!

[PatsBooks]

Well I never understood why anyone would put themselves in such a situation, especially woman. This woman set herself up to be taken advantage of. It was good of you to stand up for herself.

However, people have to be responsible for herself. My father always told me about drinking and dudes waiting to take advantage.

[intro2the1]

Id appreciate if you didn't say she set herself up because nobody asks to be put in a situation like that.

Japan is such a safe country and the same kinds of emphasis is not made on women's safety.

I understand what you are trying to say but its best to leave blatant statements about her intentions to yourself. My rape had nothing to do with alcohol but no doubt someone could have made the same statement about me.

[ausetgoodwin]

Good Video Cousin.

[jadama27]

hello! where are u currently...?

[PannaIka]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[graycious3]

you did the right thing with this girl people forget about not being a predator-- i am proud of you for your story. the fact that you got counselling

rape is such abuse of the soul . I am a paranoid woman i dont like being out of control .

I hope she was grateful for you waking her up and standing up

[supergrad08]

As many have said so far, I too am terribly sorry to hear what happened to you, but I am so happy that you got help and are able to share your story and give advice to your viewers. Many times I saw similar situations like the one you described while I was in Germany at school. People would say "you're in Europe, have fun!" and they let their guards down and think because people are nice and they are having a good time, that nothing can go wrong and they are invincible. Thanks for the reminder!

[Lunicokita]

Thank you so much.

[DPAce456]

Why were they drunk in the first place? Second where was there designator.

[intro2the1]

usually people walk to clubs or take taxis because of the zero tolerance policy :-)

[NagoyaGA]

Thank you Alafia for sharing your story.

I'm so sorry to hear that you went through something as horrible as rape.

Thank you for sharing this information about rape in Japan.

We've been to a nomihoudai here and it is no joke! Regardless of how safe Japan is, we never let our guard down.

Good Job!

[faerietaleredux]

I'm so proud of you. Your courage and determination is truly touching.

I don't know if you heard about it, being in Japan. But in the US there was a recent incident at a high school homecoming where a girl was gang raped and at least twenty-something people witnessed it and didn't do anything to stop it. Horrific, right?

I hear things like that and wonder if there's any decent people left in the world, anyone willing to stand up the plate and act on behalf of the weak. Thank u for your example

[intro2the1]

I had no idea! I hope something is being done now. Too many of us are afraid to speak up when there is something wrong happening.

[gamisinc]

Your strength amazes me.

Power to you, and continue to educate others.

[yokirules22]

can i come to japan and live with u???

pls..

[StarlightLullaby]

Even if they weren't going to raper her, reputations are taken very seriously in Japan, and even if someone just took pictures of them touching her, it could very possibly cost her friends, her job, and shame on her family. She was very lucky you were there.

[rawman18]

( face palm ) ......... OMG , i am so sorry to hear that happended to you alafia. It isn't right....... it just ain't right. Why does evil things have to happen to good people? For the life of me I just can't understand it. What the f*** has the world come to. Sh** !!!! DAMN!!!!! ( I'm reduced to a set of expletives because I can't find the right words to express my sorrow over your painful situation) But you are a very brave woman. You are very inspiring to me. Please keep the faith.

ryan

[Darkangelxps]

wow but im on ur side i would totally would have done the same...im 150% on ur side and am glade that u were there to help her...your a brave person to have open up and tell ur story of what happened to you i know someone out there are being help with ur strong wise advice

[0Sakara0]

Alafia you are very inspiring. I hope I can be an intellectual woman like yourself one day

[MekongPlease]

Alafia, I would have never guessed in a million years something like that has happened to you. I'm so glad you're so inspiring and such a great speaker. You're awesome

[hellokittykat50]

Wow

Srry about that

I was doing research on date rape and i think it's not a joke.

It's hard to trust ppl out there:)

[chanace]

Good job Lafia.

[wicreed]

What you did at the party was right; as for living life always watch your back and KNOW YOUR DRINKING LIMIT for all the party goers out there. It is great to drink when any person has the free time but there is no need to get S***Faced either. Aside from the worst that can happen other people out there can do some really mean spirited jokes when a person is passed out.

[Iheartnihon]

Wow, it takes a forgiving, strong and wholesome person to share with someone else that they have been raped.

I'm sorry that happened but it's a blessing...at least for me because through the power of Christ....he can give you that ability to forgive the person who devastatingly hurt you.

[rainsan]

I'm really surprised at how often people are raped. I can't believe people think they can just take what they want.

[lamercie4512]

it wasn't long it was worth the watch

[tocherrish]

great video and message!!

[papigrizzly]

good message, young women must be aware of surroundings and the people in them. I hope your story and ones like the horrific gang rape in richmond high, Calif. get the point across not to trust car rides,drunk parties,friend of friend, etc. so easily...use good judgment , always!

[yourstereotype]

Alafia,

I must say that you are one of the greatest persons I've seen (and that from a stranger) I wish the world had more ppl like you, and I'm sorry about your situation, but you are stronger than most ppl, and I'll consider myself lucky if I am half the woman you are.

[FearOfaBlackChannel]

Very interesting commentry& I applaud that you point out something that very few people considered in light of the "Hofstra" incident:A thing called 'concientiousness'. I am probably among few men who feel the males involved should've been charged for misconduct at least,since not one of them took that young woman's LIFE into consideration-they only took advantage of a situation;&just as w/the incident you relate here,it is social conscientiousness that prevent the worst from happening.

[southerncali7]

Mam, I'm sorry to hear about your situation and others that this has happened to. I do feel that you did the right thing by standing up and addressing that hideous situation. I agree that no matter where you are within this world, and no matter what statistics are documented about countries, you always should be aware of your surroundings.

[JamConcerned]

Peer pressure to fit in causes people who can't hold their alcohol to drink over the limit, I know I went out with some of my coworkers over the holiday season to socialize and get along with a boss who is a heavy drinker I went beyond what I should. That was my first and last time it was scary. I agree with GoNaruHina to an extent but I think society would find some other type of mood altering drink. Especially in Japan to choose to not be apart of it they would be ostrisized.

[TheHello346]

I just want to thank you for sharing your personal business with us. This story spread my eyes wide open to how this world really functions. Well I just wanted to commend you. God bless...I'll be watching your videos

[GoNaruHina]

In my opinion alcohol should be illegal everywhere and always. You never hear anything that's good and related to alcohol. Rape, car accidents, child abuse. I'm going to stop now because honestly I could go on and on. I just think the world would be better off without it.

[starrynightgogh]

this a very inspirational blog for you to tell all of us and I commend you for your bravery and strength because this is a very touchy subject as well :)

[glbbatz]

thank you for being brave enough to talk about these things and thank you for bring these type of things to the for front

[glbbatz]

thank you for being so brave thank you for bringing these things to the for front

[Lady5Millz]

Alafia,

As an Advocate for Life Crisis, I know that many women do not report rape because of the stigma and, also, because of the belief that police officers will blame them for the rape. Will you talk about your experience reporting the rape (the process and followup), the emotions you dealt with after the rape, and how you recomposed yourself afterwards. Hearing the story for someone who has dealt with it, may help other young ladies report the rape and have a healthy recovery. Thanks!

[intro2the1]

Hello,

Unfortunately at the time of the incident. I did not report it. It took almost a year for me to recognize my own need for counseling. When I was ready to talk to the police, Hurricane Katrina put my priorities in other places. Later I confirmed his death, so now his crimes are to be judged by a different power. I find peace in knowing that.

[txgrl7]

@intro2the1 God took care of it for you. You are an amazing woman. Keep doing these vids and continue to travel and spread your personal sunshine.

[whatisavail09]

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to do that and I know you did so because you want to help, inform and protect other people

You are a very kind person:)

[Gimmeaflakeman]

Good solid video.

[08momma]

I always love the consistent, strong personality and character. What has made you who you are today? I love that you are so in touch with yourself, what you stand for and what you believe.

[32Roswell]

thank you for sharing your story and your warnings. Your such a strong person and I think your advice could be saving a lot of people. :)

[voltbishop]

Always original content, proness.

[janglesD]

Alafia we love you!!! Ur such a great person, wish there were more like you.

[BlastOfLight]

Hi Alafia, umm i have a question.

If someone offers you a drink ( say like in a busniss party or somewhere important) is it like a offence?

anyway glad that your feeling better. :3

[intro2the1]

No lol its not offending if they offer it.

If you politely decline they will still encourage you to have some. just stand firm in your decision and smile.

[BlastOfLight]

Ok thanks for the advice :3

[itsdaveyj]

I'm glad you stood up for the girl. Recently in the States I heard that a girl was gang raped in a party, with plenty of people around who could've stood up and said "stop it" but nobody did. All she needed was one person to stand up and others would have followed. I heard there is also some legal thing where because she was 15 the boys aren't getting charged as harshly or something like that.

[babiis0sweet2]

Great video! Your videos are always informative and im glad you spoke out about this subject.

I think you did the right thing by stopping what was happening with the girl. Im sure she would of appreciated it later. Even tho she was drunk, she definetly wasnt consenting to them touching her.

[rraassll]

Thank you for talking about such problem especially not everyone who raped has the courage to speak out or find counseling. I have live in Saudi Arabia almost all my life and it is safe maybe because people do not drink (alcohol is prohibited because of Islam religion) yet I always carry with me all numbers that I need to call in case of anything happen. I just want to say that you are an inspiration for many people and I wish for you all the best

[GogatsuGirl]

You know what Lafia, you are a RARE find. I'm so impressed and happy that you stood up and SAID something at that club. So many people nowadays only look out for themselves. They could care less what happens to another person, or they have the mentality that it's none of their business or they shouldn't "snitch". I'm glad you USED your mouth to stand up for what you would not tolerate in that situation. I hope I never forget that's the kind of person I'm always supposed to be.

[topcat87]

thank you for talking about this, a lot can be learnt from your videos. I was just wondering, you said that there is a strong expectation for people to drink a lot in japan, so do you ever come across people who don't drink? and is there a negative stigma associated with people that don't use alcohol?

[intro2the1]

great question!

The pressure to drink is intense but the best tool you can use is transportation. Japan has a 0 tolerance rule so those who don't drink come by car or bike and everyone understands that they cant drink for the night. I have yet to meet someone who does not drink at all but I am sure they are out there :-)

[fomiz]

I wouldnt have necessarily thought the girl that you seen drunk would have got raped, but you acted cautiously which is never a bad thing.

[fomiz]

feeling better and looking beautiful as always. welcome back!

[wallstreetyoung]

OMG- I am so sorry to hear that.

[AvecxMoi]

nomihoudai IS dangerous, especially for the ones who can't hold their liquor. I always try to keep my friends together when they get really drunk and they aren't really concerned about it but this is really eye opening. Clubs are so dangerous when you don't take care of yourself.

[Azzaiel]

why are so many women raped? and you just say it in passing... my mate was raped that is too much of a violation

my condolences and best wishes to you

[princessjupita]

wat happened 2 u is sad bt Im glad to see u've grown stronger from it. U r soooo right about d alcohol thing, nd d fact dat being w/ a friend isnt gud enuf. I was accidentally stabbed on my hand by someone dat considered me her best friend. Wldnt have happened if she hadnt been tipsy/drunk and gotten angry enuf to fight w/ someone, i got stabbed while tryin 2 stop her from stabbin d person. One can neva predict d effect of alcohol, no matter how safe or cool d environment might seem.

[Ehav4Ever]

That was really brave of you to share that. You did the right thing by standing up for the girl. A major source of good in the world comes from people standing up for those who can't stand up for themelves.

[reaper4255]

Sadly, no country is safe enough when people have been drinking.

All I can say is to know your limit, and stick with a group.

[GrapplerJMo]

thanks for sharing what happened. i hope that the girl you tried to help is ok now.

[kawaiidayo123]

wow alafia i admire you sooo much ur such a strong person

[andieph]

Thanks for the info.  I usually hang out with very very responsible people, but I have seen, among some of the foreigners here, a very carefree, drink all-I-want spirit, and their pictures show how drunk they get. And, I worry sometimes about it. So I really don't socialise with them that much for that and other reason. Thanks Alafia, your point is very good and definitely required.

[tntownsend96]

Thank you for posting this. I always feel like a nag trying to keep all my friends together when we're out, now I don't feel like the only one who thinks it's important. I've thankfully never been in a bad situation, likely cause I'm super cautious. I wish more people felt it is important to not be totally oblivious to surroundings and situations, even with friends.

[bearr7]

FOR GIVE US WE KNOW NOT WHAT

WE DO!

[The2ndKrezzz3]

oooooooooooo HD!

[EVEBABYLON26]

That was the right thing to do [Waking her up]. Rape/ Sexual Harrasment is never about sex, it's about power. But a rapist never has power because he/she is just a selfish coward. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I'm glad you are a beautiful person now. I always feel safer not only traveling in groups, but with people I know care if I live or die.

[creamfilled08]

I feel so priviledged to have come across you on youtube. Such a beautiful and genuine spirit you are. From one survivor to another....thank you for sharing your story and for brining awarness to what should be common sense safety habits...nameste

[bearr7]

YOU MUST BE CAREFUL THERE!

[bearr7]

oneLOVE