The Feminine Mistake - Should Women Sacrifice Careers for Family?

[sugrandspyce]

The roles of men & women have worked long before we cam along, if it aint broke, don't fix it! I just do not understand why a Mother would choose to work if they have the chance to stay at home or at least work from home while their children are young. We are women, we are mothers built by the hands of God to nurture & nurse our babies...not be in the board room giving in to our own selfish desires of the materialistic world we live in!

[sugrandspyce]

In my opinion, if u are not willing to be a full time Mom you are doing a dis-service to your child...why even have children if you have to pay someone else to raise them?!

[itubeyoublah]

only in the last 30-40 years have women abandoned their families...either because of the lure of career, or begrudgingly because women (sheep) generally follow what other women do...oh, did I mention all this is made possible by contraception...the destruction of women, children and families

[KumarZimmerman08]

Europeans are facing extinction because they chose a career over families.

[ajobimlover]

I think the mentality that work is more important/fulfilling than having a family is sad... the children should come first-- that may very well mean staying at home to care for them

[ladyEulaelie]

I know my opinions are not popular and I will probably get slammed...but so be it. I'm going off my experiences and my observations of others. Peace.

[ladyEulaelie]

Let's be balanced. If a woman refuses to plan for a life of singleness, no kids or the event that her husband dies, she runs a great chance of not being able to proficiently provide for her and her kids. If a married woman works & comes home to a husband, in apron who just made brownies and chases kids all day, more than likely, somewhere along the way, she will lose respect for the sexy, dominate, powerful man she married. It just doesn't workout. Gender roles aren't broken so don't fix them.

[ladyEulaelie]

My mother did it, but I refuse. I will finish my education & go into my career of choice, b/c I have to support myself as an individual but when I marry & have kids, I will stay home, not b/c of any ridiculous stereotypes; I'm a woman of color....I'm used to stereotypes, but b/c I feel my kids should be my PRIMARY obligation. I have to live my life being the best I can be and I won't forsake being the best mother I can be for the sake of being the best Nurse, doctor, lawyer, etc I can be.

[gmbrdiloss]

FIrst lady, yur fat and ugly. Secondly, there is no universal answer to whether or not a woman should work - it is their choice and it Should and Must be their personal choice. If women are deprived of choosing from the two, then its the same as not allowing the woman to work

[gmbrdiloss]

Stick your adverts up yur asses

[crewlla]

@Sortsitar I am sorry for my last commet to you. When you are older you might feel the same way I do. When I was 20 I was not into staying at home raising a family and doing "house hold chores" However, now that I am almost 40 I belive we were brainwashed into thinking work was what we should be doing because its our right to do it!!!! I wish when I was giving the choice to go to work or stay home I would of stayed home. Maybe when you get as old as Me you might feel the same. I wish you well.

[crewlla]

@Sortsitar this appartly comes from a women who is not married, does not have children and does not know how to cook. therefor, working out side the home would appeal to you more. I have been to many diffrent places and met many diffrent people I have new experinences every day and I have found that a home works better and life is generally better for every one when women stay home from working. Women only starting going to work to help there familys out and have a little spending money.

[crewlla]

If I could refuses to work I would. Because, women did go to work it screwed up the economie I am beign forced to work . If your huband did die and didnt leave any life insurance or money then I feel the woman did choose her husband approperatly and should work. If there was a divorce depending on the reason then the women screwed that up. I know people who got divorce because the women didnt do any house work or cook. I am totally againts women working. working is a form of slavery.

[Captainjack463]

Maybe if they stop portraying men as evil sexist pigs and started showing that we are just as caring as a mother they would understand men can raise children as women went off to work....... WAAAIT!!! but then we would have more rights in that field.

"Must have my cake and eat theirs tooo!"

[LadyRuin2012]

It shouldn't be a matter of "men do this and women do that." Men and women are just, as a rule (to which there are always exceptions of course), suited to certain tasks. Defining someone's role or place in life based on their gender is unfair to both genders, not just women.

[LadyRuin2012]

A lot of doube standards still exist in our society. While it is now ok for a woman to pursue a career, it is still unacceptable for a man to be a stay-at-home parent. Some men still feel threatened by a woman's success, and a man is made out to be a failure as a man if he doesn't have a great career. I have as much respect for a homemaker as I do for a career man/woman. Both are demanding and neither one is easy, especially when children come into the picture.

[MrMuffStench]

As far as feminism, its not what women want, its what these man hating elitists want. Individuality is dead and has been replaced by collectivism. Its not about personal fulfillment but women being told their held responsible for the greater good of womanhood. This speech is typical of feminist propaganda. Cherry picked statistics, political correctness, and hyper sensitivity. Feminists will never mention matriarchal aspects of society that's void of equal male contributions (teaching)

[JessieArmy]

Nobody ever questions whether men should give up their careers in order to have children. Nobody ever asks whether men can be good fathers even though they work. There is no good reason why women are expected to give up their careers and and then be called bad mothers while men never get called bad fathers for holding a job. This whole thing is retarted.

I bought Mrs. Bennetts book and it was an eye opener.

[happygregory1989]

@JessieArmy I found a video report on this site which explains why working mothers (and working women in general) are much happier than stay at home moms.

Here it is:

/watch?v=tJstmxb8vyw

[PungiFungi]

@JessieArmy , why nobody question whether men should give up their careers? That is because men do not get pregnant and women have a far harder time conceiving later on in life. And also, men are still judge by others, especially women, by what they do for a living.

[alanagkelly]

When the majority of parents both work outside the home, how freggin privileged do you have to be in order to write a book like this? The choice to stay home instead of working is a rare option and even if working to pay for day care is an investment in your career, staying home for a few years to raise your children is an investment in their lives. I'm tired of being told what to do just because I have a vagina.

[Angus1966]

The problem is when women replace men in the work force.

[RogueTheElfWarrior1]

It should be a matter of choice. If mothers want to work then that's their business and there's nothing wrong with it, but if they choose to stay at home then that's okay too. There's nothing wrong with either choice. If I ever get married and have kids, I'm staying at home with mine as my mother did with me, even though she did work once in a while to earn extra money for the both of us as there was only the two of us.

[darkdrone3]

After watching the video:

This is the second time I attempt to post the post video comment....grrrr.

Bennetts makes solid points about women and their careers. She is simply trying to uncover all factors relating to dumping your career for human life that might not be worth all the trouble in the end. She's very civilised and appears to know what she's talking about.

[darkdrone3]

Before watching the video:

I think that stay-at-home-Mums are great, BUT if that is the case....sort of like the sun vs moon, day vs night, hot vs cold...a child should also be exposed to stay-at-home-Dads.  With that said, having a parent at home with maternity/paternity leave is the ideal for a child growing up especially with all those psychos in daycares, etc. (my apologies to those who are affected by comments like the latter made here).

[Iichyaa]

I, myself, do not want to be a mother who is always at home. I know, not because I have children, a bit of a dose of what it will be like. And boy, it is not fun doing housework (Plus.. I'm just lazy in general). From the way I was raised (My mom being there and now.. pretty much never) I think and I hope if I ever have children they won't become utterly dependent and since I'm hopefully pursing photography, my schedule will probably be more flexible than others.

[2ndrambo]

At 1:16, the false analogy fallacy, also the black and white fallacy is definitely there.... She is saying that women have to work, and that woman should not stay home. Not to mention that women working, means they must buy a second car. Oh wait, I thought you cared about the environment; lol.

Also, I watch a video of a stay at home mom, actually when both work, they tend to be less off actually. Now do me a favor, and take a magic marker(black), and put 1X2inch mark below your nose.XD

[darkdrone3]

@2ndrambo

The issue of carpooling should be your arguement....why a second car? The parent that takes the kids to school obviously stays with the car!! Logic...logic...logic...

[PipeManChuck]

I don't know what job these people have that they think they can support a family on one income. Thats completely unrealistic. Plus jobs are dissapearing everyday. In a fantasy world where people make tons of money someone should stay home with the kids. If I ever have kids I would home school them for sure, so they don't end up so stupid like our general public.

[TheSnotrag2009]

i would rather give up my career and spend all my time raising my children. having children is choosing to be a mother and being a mother isnt about hiring a nanny or paying for childcare. being a mother is being there for your kids 100% through every second of their lives.

[JessieArmy]

@TheSnotrag2009

Okay so what the heck being a father means? If being a mother is quitting your job and staying home, what is the man supposed to do?

So a woman is not a real mother if she works....so is a father less of a man if he works?! I am sick of double-standards.

[thethriftynester]

This is so sad. It breaks my heart to think about all the babies in the care (all day) of strangers who don't give a crap about them...

[joyfulhelpmeet]

Wow feminism is really the deciding voice of our culture and it is so sad. Homemaking for mothers is the God-Ordained role for a two parent family and feminism is a frightening force against Christ.

[aluisious]

LOL...frightening force against Christ.

If you really believed that nonsense, don't you think the Son of God could handle a couple of fat feminists?

You people don't even really believe your own crap, that's why you get so contentious about it. A real god wouldn't be threatened.

[extremelibrary]

I read the Book Feminine Mistake. It was awesome and so true.

[senorvergara]

The reality in this country is that Feminism is the downfall of American Families.

[zanchana]

you are telling me that,after all this feminist education all american women are stupid,they still dont now what is good for them.

[zayadnay]

based on her arguement, women should be self centered and not worry about their kids' well being when they're little because the benefits for the woman will be greater later on when they're off to school and you won't have to spend as much money on them... maybe it's just me but i don't think that work is worth losing those precious times in which kids are dependent on their mother at a young age because they will never come back

[ihateino44]

Time with the kids is great but another nice thing is not having to fit the stereo-type of the stay at home mom. People should be able to chose if they want to work or not. Being forced into either is wrong.

[zayadnay]

ofocarse! who forces any body to do anything any more? come on now, i meant in the u.s. women have a choice between the two and they should act based on their opinion and their husband's opinion also, if the guy doesn't agree with you on it you should not marry him

[senorvergara]

It is not a stereotype, it is a reality. You can only do one. This whole idea of multitasking is moronic. Multitasking means one thing is not getting your complete attention and therefore you run the risk of one thing not getting done right. Kids deserve and need all the attention possible. You can't do both, sorry.

[RichKnight2010]

@ihateino44

Men are often forced to not only work, but to be the sole provider.

Men should have the option of being stay-at-home parents.

[originalgrin]

I have no objections to women being in the workforce, but why does this lady appear to be talking down to women who make a different choice? It is not a woman's duty to reject the more traditional job of homemaker, a job which is also very important, considering the rate at which families are disintegrating in the US.

[senorvergara]

I have objections to women in the workforce. They get a lot of freedoms that other single people and people with no children get. They get time outs, mental health days, sabbaticals, they get to leave early due to cramps or having to pick up some snot nosed kid. I don't get that because I chose not to hit the carbon copy machine.

[poochymom22]

I don't have children, am a woman with a career, and have never asked for time off because of cramps. I have, however, seen men get to take time off because they have a tee time at 1,or a power lunch that lasts 3 hours and includes strong drinks. How is it even possible for someone in this century to say they have "Objections to women in the workforce?"

[senorvergara]

Those men are called business owners, the CEO's, the sales people, without them you would not have a job. It is never cubicle men that take these times off.

[MiraxTerrik1]

Women get time outs? Really? I thought time outs were only for children, but if they are now giving women time outs at work, than this is very demeaning.

I have never heard of women taking time off because of cramps. If my assistant ever asked me for this, than I would remind her that she has deadlines she has to meet. In law or business, everyone, man or woman, has their deadlines, and nobody with half a brain would frivolously take time off work. Sorry, I do not believe you.

[senorvergara]

You're a woman, you suffer from that female disease called selective-hearing or in this case, reading. I never said all, there are exceptions to the rule and you're one of them, so what? Generally speaking, my statement is true. Better yet, go organize all these feminist and preggers and go form your own company.

[MiraxTerrik1]

My point was never to prove that I am an exception. My point was that your rule does not make sense in the real world. Maybe you have that male disease where you only hear what you want to hear, or in this case, read.

Normal people probably fit around 10 hours of work into an 8 hour shift. We all have deadlines, and if you take that responsibility frivolously, than you are fired. That is reality, not whatever crap you wrote earlier. Women do not have time to take off work because of cramps.

[senorvergara]

You dumb bitch. There are statistics that prove my points. Go read Why Men Earn More by Dr. Warren Farell. Stupid bitch.

[MiraxTerrik1]

I am sure there are. There are stats that will *suggest* just about anything. I earned an MA in social sciences, so the claim "there are statistics" means little to me.

In a subject as loaded as this, you can guarantee yourself that the majority of novels out there have a prejudice. I suspect this Dr. Farell overemphasized certain statistics and ignored others. Do not think that reading one book makes you an expert on the subject, because it appears you are already resorting to name-calling.

[senorvergara]

Typical answer from a typical woman. Once you throw facts ata female they can't reply with one back or support their argument. You have no right to comment or opine of Dr Warren Farrel because you didn't read the book. Go ask your man to read it for you, i know it does not talk about Angelina Jolie or Brittney Spears so you won't find it interesting. Dr. Farrell was president of NOW National Organization For Women. Dumb Bitch.

[MiraxTerrik1]

I do not have to prove anything, because I am not the one making any claims. Y'know, being a prosecutor and all that jazz, I sort of understand that when you make a claim, it is your responsibility to prove beyond reasonable doubt. There is no burden of proof laid upon the defence (the one rejecting the claim). It is the same thing in the academic world. I guess you never bothered to educate yourself, because you are unaware of this golden rule.

[MiraxTerrik1]

Two more things. Feminism, in the most broadest sense, is about having women's voices heard. If a man is in charge of this women's group, than I am suspect of the organization.

And you haven't thrown any facts my way. You have insulted me and name-dropped, but you have not thrown any facts my way. I have given you a realistic idea of the workplace, and you claim that women take off work constantly because of their period. Lets let the people decide who is full of shit.

[senorvergara]

The more you type, the more you prove my point.

[vanillapie]

I wonder what all these SAHMs will do when their husbands die or divorce them? Who is going take care of them?

There are enormous consequences when a woman refuses to work.

[crewlla]

@vanillapie they dont divorce its against there religion.

[TENNSUMITSUMA]

@vanillapie

considering women initiate about 70% of divorce, i dont see why they should be the ones worrying about the men divorcing them.

[oneadamtwelve30]

What a WartHog...Yeh as soon as U became a Pig u started hating men..a ha..Wildebeest

[vidmanx0]

Women need to stop chasing such a high standard of living at the expense of their families.

[senorvergara]

You are completely right.

[Veesht]

Who takes advice from a fat sow who can't even control her own Piggish appetite? She's just disgusting.

[robbeck67]

Ugggh, liberal women. She should audition for The Biggest Loser.

[vanillapie]

How do you know she is liberal? Just because she advocates women working outside the home doesn't mean she is "liberal". She could be conservative, or middle of the road. As for being a "biggest loser" -hardly so. She is very well off and published a best selling book. The losers are the women who can't work and can't take care of themselves.

[flyandes07]

I do think women need to change it by asserting themselves in the ballot box.I do see what women go through.

[ftmom]

How silly. She has no idea. Opting out?? Ha being a stay at home mom is not opting out. It's tuning in.

So what she's saying is to not have children, and devote yourself to work. Sounds like fun. Maybe her grand career will kiss her goodnight, or tell her that it loves her. Probably not.

[Hickey66]

Right

[thjadewolf]

The book sounds like an excellent decision-making resource. The speaker has a good point, but I fear that people with an emotional attachment to the idea of "Devoted stay-at-home mom" will hear the start of the economic argument and say "my children are not just monetary items!" The speaker clearly does not think that, but I wish she'd started with the emotional and mental toll taken by leaving paying work to stay isolated with children full time.

[justicetruthreality]

Good Work..

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[werdnanotroh]

this lady is so misguided! as if people honestly believe that.

[anddontcallmeshirley]

Depends on what's best for the family. For the best of both worlds, why not work from home? There are increasing options anymore for this sort of lifestyle. If you're a stay-at-home mom, kudos. That's a full-time job, I don't care who you are or what your social status. If circumstances require that you work, good job on doing what's best for your little one.

[sephoramoon]

This is great stuff! Thanks for posting!

[jarrbear05]

Do we really have to go through all this? Is it really that difficult to believe that as a whole men enjoy the work atmosphere more than women? We're at a low point of the feminist movement if the "classic feminist mistake" is to trust men.