Bonding - The Attachment Theory - Fathers' Rights

[AnneFox7]

Child abuse by gay men's groups is unnecesary. Men now have rights to act as homosexuals whenever they want. There is no need to hate women and children. Children who are breast feeding and are cared for by women are healthier and better off. Men who are attacking children and hating them ripping them out of their mother's arms terrorizing them until they can not speak. Men who hate women should not be permitted near children. 50% of the population is female. GAY MEN should be with ADULT men.

[glitchyt]

This is an awesome video, so what actions can a man take to join together with other men to fight for our rights as parents? Where do I start? How can I contribute to this great cause?

[evenToddlers]

@glitchyt

Many thanks for this kind comment. If you have a personal interest you may like to look at the Families Need Fathers FNF website. If you want to take a more active role I would recommend Fathers4Justice F4J who are presently on FACEBOOK.

Kingsley Miller

[TargetPractice08]

Went thru a 6 year battle dealing with lies, PAS, etc ... constantly second-guessing myself if I was doing it for all the right reasons ... But emerged on the other side with full custody and now, years later, the kids are so much better for it ... Now the subject matter is the basis for an upcoming movie called "What Tigers Do," which carries a vitally important message for dads and moms alike ... being a parent doesn't always bring out the best in people ....

[AnneFox7]

@TargetPractice08 Why lie you hated your children and you attacked them to get at your wife. They'll never have a normal life they'll be miserable and unhappy but you are the one who is happy. I can't wait until they dump you flat and realize that YOUR HATE is all they have ever known. HOMOs SHOULD LEAVE kids alone. COME OUT and be with other male gays ADULTS.

[TargetPractice08]

@AnneFox7 wow somebody needs a hug

[MrINeedSome]

Someone should have told the judge these things.

[themalina92]

I strongly agree with father's getting custodial rights if the blood parents separate. I am happy to see more and more fathers being granted full custody or at least equal custody. I do NOT believe mothers are the only appropriate caregivers for small children as the American culture would like for us to believe.

[arialroller]

Marriage law is the biggest farce. Most of the judges and lawyers are criminals.

Why should a man share his earnings with is wife. Each partner has the responsibility to earn for his living.

Laws are cheating men. Men should rally for their rights.

When men can fight for their country, why cant they fight for themselves.

[AnneFox7]

@arialroller Why don't you go fight for gay rights somewhere else? 

[qtkitty4u]

Let Me talk to you about attachment and bonding i had a huge attachment to my dad..Closest bond you would ever get..I got called a jealous possesive..I got ridiculed...The man that did this to me will never know what his missed and he has missed alot..

[Steentj3]

What a graet video.

I'm living in feminism-Iceland. Here many parents marry young and divorce fast and many have alchol problems, like in all Scandinavian countries. I know a case in which the alcoholic mum got the children and the father all the debts... And it goes very often like that.

It is painful to see how little respect there is for the role of the father in the family every time again.

I am a female, study Pedagogy and Psychology.

[MrINeedSome]

@Steentj3 Here in America I know of a man who had trouble getting custody of his four year old daughter that was living with his ex-wife and her boyfriend even after it was proven that the boyfriend's 17 yr old son was sexual abusing his daughter. He had to pay 20 grand just to get a lawyer to represent his case.

[Jayonesgirl]

Yes this is phenomenal critique. I am in a class called Chemical Dependency and the family. Bowlby was referenced re; attachment which brought me back to Piaget and earlychildhood connections. Great to hear a critique of Bowlby in the other clip. Dads are as important as moms. Rutter has some great insight on this - never trust the experts carte blanche! Also, Bowlby WAS a stuffed shirt, despite his self perception. This is obvious.

[evenToddlers]

Jayonesgirl,

I think your comment sums it up very well.

Also I am a great admirer of the work of Rutter.

Many thanks,

Kingsley Miller

[ChristianKoehler]

Hello,

this is a great video and very valuable information.

I think children do need fathers the same way as they need mothers. And fathers do have the same right -and the same obligation- to have proximity with their children.

It is important to campaign this in society and politics. For example our German constitution -while social oriented and democratic- explicitly grants special protection to mothers only.

Christian

[evenToddlers]

Christian,

German law is very interesting because it is based even more on the Bowlby principle than our own in the UK.

As a result it has fallen foul to the European Court on a number of occasions.

Thank you for your comment.

Yours etc

Kingsley Miller

[thecreepyguy]

"And fathers do have the same right"

Well technically they don't but should. I'm saying it's possible to get joint or sole custody but the odds are stacked against you heavily.

[jdsonicx]

This is great information for all to see and learn!!!!!!!!!

[muskussliebe]

Of course men deserve equal rights to the child, but only if they do equal housework, a lot of men just want to play around, not help out. Women not only do more housework then men currently, but they work outside of the home as well. Women work harder, help your wife out, you will get respect, here here for the cheers!

[evenToddlers]

muskussliebe,

I do not believe either mother or father should be obliged to prove their attachment to a child to deserve a parental relationship.

Children should be brought up by both their parents.

Many thanks for your comment.

Kingsley Miller

[IthacaSkinhead]

That is a ridiculous idea. Access to one's child is not dependent, nor should it ever be dependent, on how much house work a person does. This is just a red herring to serve to distract from the primary issue at hand, which is access rights for fathers.

[AnneFox7]

@IthacaSkinhead Stop pretending to be straight. YOU DON'T have to. BE WITH OTHER QUEERS adult QUEERS. You will never have breasts and a womb you don't own children . Go to adult men and be with them. STOP TRYING TO RUIN children's lives.

[proudguy]

Typically men perform more work than women when housework and paid employment are added together.

Who is watching Opra? Most tv shows are aimed at the female audience, because women have more free time.

[chopsticksteve]

Men deserve equal rights to children period. It is stupid to base this right on if they do housework.

Fathers right of access to children is not based on what the mother or women want(i.e. if she is satisfied that he has done enough housework to earn it), it is based on the fact that this is what is right for children and what is best for THEM.

I am so sick of selfish women who talk about fathers rights as if it is a privilege.

Get over yourself and stop hindering what is best for the child

[arialroller]

You are very right. The sorry state of the affair is because men in power deceived men to appease women.

How many men can speak this in the open. When men can join army to defend their country, why can they rally for their rights.

[AnneFox7]

@chopsticksteve Gay men should stop thinking that they will ever have breasts and a womb. They should get over their hatred of straights and be with other adult men. Bull queers and women haters should stop terrorizing children. You have rights to be with adult men now GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS WITH THEM. Stop hating us WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE not yours to own.

[tolkny]

It is a mistake to blame former woes on the probation service. The training received was frequently, as mine was, alongside child care social workers.

I certainly did not go into court enquiries biased towards a mother or father.

I gave up practice in the early nineties but always set out to construct arrangements that gave both parents access to the children and I endeavoured to encourage parents to work out what would work best rather than have some court imposed outcome.

[0lord0kinbote0]

the weird thing is the modern absurdity that family is mom/dad/children. That in itself is a faulty premise for understanding development. Humans live in troops not immediate family only. When we separate children into little boxes with only their immediate family we are doing far more damage than anything else.

[evenToddlers]

0lord0kinbote0,

I am not sure whether you are a parent or not but I think it is very difficult to allow your child or children to be brought up by a 'troop', as you put it, or anybody else for that matter.

Thank You for the comment.

Kingsley Miller kip

[haynej]

Agree with your response here.. what an awful prospect, that gave me a cold shudder when i read the comment about modern absudity child/mom/dad.

I would almost guarantee he does not have kids (here you go folks you can bring em up)

I found that quite disturbing (nowt queer as folk eh)?

And i suppose each to their own opinion and all that

[screamer1963]

To all expectant parents, it's a learning expierance that requires hands on

[evenToddlers]

Please see my video clip called 'John Bowlby and Maternal Deprivation' based on his Citation Classic of 1986 - I hope you find it useful.

[thejohnryan]

superb work and thanks for directing me to it. Best wishes John Ryan

[evenToddlers]

'Maternal Deprivation' controversy

For a further review of the controversy surrounding Bowlby's publication, 'Maternal Care and Mental Health' for the World Health Organization (WHO) 1951 which featured the concept of 'maternal deprivation' please see 'Deprivation of maternal care. A reassessment of its effects' 1962 WHO - Please note that although the main author is usually given as Mary Ainsworth her name appears first because the authors are listed alphabetically.

Kingsley Miller

[evenToddlers]

Fathers 'should strip off to bond with baby'

By Sarah Womack, Daily Telegraph, Social Affairs Correspondent, 05/06/2007

Fathers should strip off their shirts before holding their newborn babies to aid the "bonding" process, says a booklet funded by the Government.

[evenToddlers]

Allotment idea to cultivate father-child bonding

James Meikle,

March 16, 2007

The Guardian

Alan Johnson, said yesterday as he launched the government's new parenting strategy. "The involvement of fathers is crucial, whether or not they live with their children. Once fathers become involved, they tend to remain involved".

[carendale]

just read "becoming attached"

what a good video to accompany and support that book.

thank you

[evenToddlers]

carendale,

Many thanks,

Kingsley Miller

[evenToddlers]

Fathers told to 'dig in' to bond with children

By Graeme Paton,

Daily Telegraph Education Correspondent 17/03/2007

Fathers will be encouraged to work with their children on allotments as part of a Government plan to improve parenting skills.

Alan Johnson, the Education Secretary, said fathers could play a vital part in helping children to do well at school.

[evenToddlers]

More video clips from evenToddlers;

Fathers Rights in the UK / Child Psychology in Family Proceedings /'Precedents' in Family Law / Bonding / CAFCASS and the Welfare Checklist / Shared

Parenting / Parental Alienation Syndrome(PAS)/ Educational Attainment / Mediation does not work! / Child Abduction / Parental Leave / Feckless Fathers

[evenToddlers]

Reference;

Using Child Development Research to Make Appropriate Custody and Access Decisions for Young Children from Family and Conciliation Courts Review; Los Angeles;Jul 2000; Joan B Kelly; Michael E Lamb; Volume: 38 Issue: 3 : 297-311, Sage Publications. ISSN: 1047569.