Crack isn't Wack??!? Gnooze 12-11-07

[jtheory89]

I think you missed the point on the whole crack issue. Crack(which is a form of cocaine) was treated far more harshly in courts than powder cocaine...and yes...minorities are more known for crack cocaine because its cheaper...so pretty white girls like yourself can get off with probation for putting it up their noses, but if you smoke it you should be in prison?

[awffle]

I like you that much!

[gnooze]

I really don't delete comments unless they're exceptionally offensive -- i.e. if they're racist, if they're just a mindless string of curse words, if they're overly sexual in nature, etc. Are you sure??

[awffle]

maybe I am completely crazy, disregard that then!

[Ick69]

Harvard costs $45K a year or more. I only sold crack once.

[CommentorX]

This video brings back bad memories of the summer I worked as a manatee pool cleaner. Especially during mating season - if you've ever had a 1000 lb. sea cow try to mate with you, well, you've probably met my ex-wife.

[UnitedOffensiveIII]

But in a system with corrupt cops eager for arrests, zealous state attorneys eager for convictions, jaded and overwhelmed public defenders eager for quick pleas, and rigid bond judges eager to set bail far beyond what anyone in the defendant's socio-economic class could reasonably afford, there is little opportunity for a fair trial.

[MojaveRanger]

Ya got me with one video!!!

[Electrophill]

You have a day job?

Oh hell... Don't quit it!

JUsssssttt kiddin'. Outstanding vid as usual.

[UnitedOffensiveIII]

Why not corrupt politicians do far more damage than crack users. Look on the bright side all of the aluminum recycle came from crack smokers . it was the crack smokers who started the metal recycling revolution.

[hounddog21]

it was the crack smokers who started the metal recycling revolution.

What???? Dude, you must be smoking crack

[airborne373]

I like the gnooze.

Keep the show sharp don't get sloppy like some YT -ooobers.

[budsett]

Holy Crapballs...Wow..This could turn into my new favorite thing to say. Thanks for the smiles.

[YouWish8]

dont diss the toilet wine till you try it !

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Crack is concentrated cocaine, although made cheaper "per high" in this form than regular cocaine. But after errors federal sentencing guidelines were made law, prisoners did several times over as much prison time "per high." Due to greater funding for anti-drug programs in inner-city areas, there was far more money for prosecutors, and the plan to go for large-time dealers became 'anyone with crack.'

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Put simply, crack sentencing was brought into line with standard cocaine sentencing. So what's the problem with this?

[UnitedOffensiveIII]

Lets start to execute judges and prosecutors

[UnitedOffensiveIII]

Why not corrupt politicians do far more damage than crack users. Look on the bright side all of the aluminum reycle came from crack smokers . it was the crack smokers who started the metal recycling revolution.

[DookofHDP]

We like you a whole bunch! Congrats on becoming a youtube partner -- hope the gnooze can replace the day job (pronto)! :)

[NufffRespect]

hehehe another brilliant vid, keep em coming!

[cv1122]

hahaha holy crapballs awesome ... think you should call this edition Crack Slack Black Attack

[VirtualWiiality]

WORD! keep it up. I WANT YOU DAILY!!!

[caverly]

so complex {for me }. It is vodcasts . tv

{no spaces}

[osubucks69]

Holy crapballs! Thanks for another great show and your bloopers too!

[caverly]

To vote for "BEST VODCAST". go to vodcast site ;

"search" for "Gnooze" ; click Marta's photo ; roll-over "rate or review" and she'll become "The Best " :-}

[livelifealwaystoo]

"do a little yard work"

[caverly]

YOU can help Marta - get her displayed prominently on top of "Best Rated Vodcasts" by voting for her. Top of list right now has 8 votes so we can do IT ! {kind of hard to find-move mouse over "rating"}.

[merickinhawaii]

Great as always. Darn it no Russian or French news today.LOL. Ok, now time to go to your future day job website! c-ya there.

[Nic33rd]

Well, it's not that crack isn't whack, it's just, um, less whack . . . somehow, I guess . . .

And Mr. Black is finally going to prison? Geez, that took an awful long time, didn't it?

Hooray for Gnooze, it reminds me of Gnus!

[wilfredsnipple]

Marijuana is way worse than crack. I dont understand the debate.

[scottmhoward]

Awesome as usual! How many hits on gnooze dot com have you gotten so far? I bet it's a lot ;)

[gedlongbow]

lol awesome as always... *lol crack aint wack*

[regionalsaint]

kinda silly

[gnooze]

That's the point!!! :)

[lorianngreen]

Gotta chase your dream Marta!

[gnooze]

What would life be otherwise, right? :)

[jenzatron]

Yeah! Bringing it back! What? I love that. :P

[gnooze]

Yay! :D

[sandyib3ll]

You should do some more dancing :DD

[gnooze]

:D I'll try!

[cierrablue]

more gnooze is good gnooze. ;)

see how I made a play on words there? I'm clever that way. I'm not a dork, no.

[gnooze]

:) Very clever!

[2of6Solutions]

Prison polka LoL I bet you do a mean chicken dance :)

[gnooze]

Just ask Zarbod. ;)

[Student81]

Hey Marta! Your swissgerman sounds perfect!;)

I'm sure you guys will have 15'000 or more subscribers pretty soon.I'm very happy for you that you are so successful in enlarging your audience.(At the same time it's a bit sad that you'll probably not be able to answer to comments anymore when you got so many viewers.)

[gnooze]

:D Thank you!!!

I'm going to keep commenting back as much as I can! Always!

[countrygent32084]

We all love your commentaries and would like to see you go full time. But again how about a miniskirt once in a while. Were really getting tired of katie couric and need to see some young limbs for a change.

[anmoose]

Yes! Quit your job and make videos! Oh... wait... will you still be able to make the payments on those manatees you bought?

I managed to get through college before student loans became fashionable. My Dad just hocked everything he owned an all was kewl.

Moosie

[gnooze]

I think I'll write the manatee payments into my deal.

[anmoose]

Good idea! And then sneak the student loans into the fine print somewhere on the last page. Won't they be surprised... :-)

[gnooze]

Genius Moosie! Genius!

[anmoose]

Well thenkyewberrymutsch. *blush*

I may not be a politician, but I can be a very devious moose. LOL

[xgobobeanx]

thanks for the gnooze :)

quit your job, just make videos! ha

Jill

[gnooze]

Thanks Jill!  I wish!

[HabsRule92Remy92]

Here's a really truly utterly and completely stupid question, but where did "Gnooze" come from?

[gnooze]

Not stupid. We were just brainstorming about funny names for the show that would reflect that it's factual but silly. And lots of domain names were already taken. I can't remember how we got to "Gnooze" exactly, but when the website was available, we ran with it.

[HabsRule92Remy92]

Ah, ok!  Much thanks!

[johnnymoondog]

Marta ! The secret of your success is at your fingertips (literally!)

[gnooze]

:D And now I'm crossing them too!

[scottfreitas]

If this is a doublepost blame YT...

Marta! Loved the "Prison Polka" you did! :D If I ever got a chance to dance with you, that'd be my pick... ;)

(no, I'm not in prison, but I DO live in Arkansas.... close enough!)

[jrsnyderjr]

I was sooooo hoping you would do Conrad Black when I read that in the Wall Street Journal! good one! LOL!

[gnooze]

:D Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[jrsnyderjr]

website bookmarked...did you get partnered? you should be if you aren't. We need you to get rid of that day job and focus on the real job!

[gnooze]

We just gained partner status early this morning! :)

[jrsnyderjr]

alright congrats...you go!

[gnooze]

Thank you!!!

[scottfreitas]

Lol. The celebratory "Prison Polka" was my fav.

If I ever got a chance to dance with you, Marta, that would surely be the one I'd choose... ;D

(no, I'm NOT in prison! I live in Arkansas. Close enough, I guess...)

[gitarzero2]

don't quit your day job! Then you wouldn't be able to give us the news! (also can you show your camera guy in the next one?)

[gnooze]

No - that's the point! Right now, we're doing Gnooze in the evenings after work. If I could quit that day job, I could do even more Gnooze (not to mention getting a good night's sleep)!

[micahsamaniac]

you should have a television news show. =]

[gnooze]

You're a maniac! :) Thank you!

[micahsamaniac]

hahahaha your the GAAH NOOZE. =]

oh oh oh say this one time... IT'S THE GNOOZE DUDEZZZ o or DOODZ its the GNOOZE! =]

[dexterbill]

Crack is legal now ?

Yay, good gnooze for Oprah...

[gitarzero2]

And for that one guy umm what was his name it was like dexter... um... dexter bill! Ya that was it dexter bill. This is good news for him too.

[SonomaDave1]

What was it? 20 lbs. of nasty crack?

[dexterbill]

Crack is Oprah's favorite thing 2007!

[rayomeara]

Marta, the bloopers reel is fab ; )

"Do you wanna mess with the guns? Noooo....."

[gnooze]

:) Wow.  Loving that the bloopers are being called fab - "in" Irish, no less! Thank you!

[CallMeNiel]

GIMME GNOOZE ALL THE TIME!! please.

[gnooze]

Finger crossed that we can generate enough traffic on gnooze dot com to make that a reality! Thanks for the support!

[Wolfsheim23]

Does the G thing happen to come from the old Great Space Coaster kid show with the News Anchor Gary Gnu? "No Gnews is Good Gnews without Gary Gnu!"

watch?v=mAwVIZDAUF0

[gnooze]

Ohmygoodness! I've never heard of that! Where/when did Great Space Coaster air? Occasionally people have left comments that mention Gary Gnu, but I had no idea, they were referencing something. I thought it was just random.

[Wolfsheim23]

follow the link i left. or look up Gary Gnu here, and on IMDB it says it was released in 1981. I saw it as a kid. I have a cool retro rag doll of Gary Gnu I picked up in a thrift shop that people love, its a groovy looking doll, goatee, afro and neon orange suit. Looks a bit like Drop Dead Fred. Maybe you pulled it out of your subconcious subliminaly. Or not. World is full of odd coincidences, but I dont really believe anything is coincidence or pure chance.

[gnooze]

I watched it here on YouTube, but I never saw it on television... I wonder if it was a regional thing. Either way, that's funny!

[SeizureChords]

Gnooze,Gnooze,Gnooze all the time,

thats for Me.

[gnooze]

Sweet! I hope it's a reality someday! If I could just get enough traffic to sell some ads...

[conspiracy777]

You could never over estimate how much we like you!

[gnooze]

Aw shucks. Now I'm blushing.

[photofu]

toilet wine?...is this joke that i'm not in on...loved the episode...thanx maddam..

[gnooze]

Um, I can't remember where I heard it, but I'm sure it's an urban legend type thing (maybe it was on My Name is Earl) - prisoners making booze in their toilets is what I'm referring to though.

[Machination1]

My manatee is rented.

[gnooze]

Dude. Good idea. That's a heckuva investment.

[PiFan7]

Changing the crack sentences is a good first step, but the U.S. still has 25% of the world's prisoners even though we have only 5% of the world's population. Just some food for thought.

When did you get partnered? Was it this week or have I just not been paying attention?

[gnooze]

Just this very morning actually! Thanks for noticing! How can you tell? Is it the autoplay or something more?

[PiFan7]

I could see it in your eyes! Well, no, not really—it was the autoplay. It's a dead giveaway.

Your making partner is well deserved, and I hope it makes you (as Renetto says) filthy rich!! Congratulations.

[gnooze]

:D Thank you very much! Did you see on my new site that your idiom was in the top 3?

[PiFan7]

Just got back from watching it! Sweeeeettt!!! I'm so honored!

I better to tidy up my channel in case I get guests.

[acberquist]

I hear you about the student loans... and the "could have" on Harvard. It still sucks though. Mostly for the manatees... because as you said, they ARE endangered... And I really like ellipses apparently...

[gnooze]

Damned student loans. Did you know that it's the only kind of debt that doesn't go away IF YOU DIE?

[acberquist]

Seriously? Those blood sucking loan sharks!

[gnooze]

Yeah, they track down your kin!

[Blargaldalien]

since you borrow and are insured via the government,they OWN your soul.

[acberquist]

Bush OWNS my soul? That has got the be the scariest thing I've ever heard.

[CommentorX]

Ha, Blargal, I fooled the government - I already sold my soul to Satan in the early 90's for Nirvana tickets.

[Blargaldalien]

Same differance

[SonomaDave1]

We lucking fuv you Marta. You is de bestus even ova da DaxDude!

[gnooze]

And I lucking fuv you guys!

[Daliwolf]

Right on Marta! If it weren't for you, I'd know NOTHING about what is happening in the world! You ROCK!

[gnooze]

Hey thanks! Glad to help keep you posted!

[Zarbod]

Marta, if you go full time on the Gnooze channel will you broadcast live 24 hours a day? You might get sleepy. But I'd watch.

Oh, and nice use of the word "Sycophantic". Yeah, there's a word I don't hear much on the news. I like to hear Dan Rather use that one.

[gnooze]

Well, it won't be quite that Truman Show-esque, but I will vlog and blog just about every day and I think I'd do Gnooze special editions on broader items and trends. I might do entertainment Gnooze too since I'm a bit of a gossip junkie. Who knows?

[Zarbod]

I love that stuff too.

[TheBabyEaters]

We are behind you in your fight to throw off the shackles of that damn day job. Go Gnooze! Makes coffee funny...well, not the actual coffee, but it makes us laugh while drinking said beverage. Sigh.

[gnooze]

Yea! Thanks for your support Baby Eaters! I'm fighting the fight!

[qiranger]

Hrm.... Student loans.... yeah... higher education.

Rocks your face off? Please keep is on.

[gnooze]

Damned student loans. I keep telling them I'm going to write them one big check and we'll all be on our way. Except I keep losing the lottery.

[Zarbod]

They Ruled On Crack???? Why is the SC on Crack?

[gnooze]

They ruled on sentencing related to crack. This was a tough story to tell succintly.

[Zarbod]

Umm, yeah, I know.  :) I guess it's hard to type sarcastically.

[ddlsr]

Mebbe you're onto something Z. Mebbe if the SC ruled while on crack the case briefs would at least be brief, then the general public would have some interest in reading them.

[Zarbod]

You know when I read their briefs I am usually on crack--and wearing only briefs! (...Zarbod typed sarcastically suggesting he doesn't really smoke crack..much).

[ddlsr]

Don't look too closely at the briefs of a SC justice. If they took offense they might extend Rachel's restraining order permanently, and you wouldn't have a higher court to appeal to.

[Zarbod]

Even the minority opinion?

[TankCarl]

If the briefs are in the minority,we would see more crack exposed!

[Zarbod]

They were showing some crack but people drove away so fast that there were skid marks everywhere!

[gnooze]

I'm a moron. I was so nervous I'd misstated something that I missed your joke! "ON" being the operative word there! Duh.

[Blargaldalien]

Hello,Marta.

I like how the description almost rhymed. As for crack,will "plumber's crack" still be an offense?

And.would you like a weekly space weather report for the Gnooze dot com?

[gnooze]

Wasn't there a lawmaker in Alabama or Georgia on a mission to crack down on (ass) crack and saggy pants?

[TankCarl]

The Gnooze must investigate!

[hugozoom]

best wishes with the new gnooze dot com. you're awesome no matter how many manatees you may own.

[gnooze]

Thank you! To be honest, I'm not sure I'd want to own one.  Whole lotta work, those sea cows.

[mike8494]

Great one marta Five stars ***** for you Mike :-D

[gnooze]

Hi Mike! Thanks for all 5 stars!!! :)

[Taiak]

Ican't believe it : )

Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh I AM FIRST! Yay

And someone even danced to celebrate it ; )

-Sir Firsty McFirst

[Taiak]

Grrrr,... curse you heavenly space elevators!

CURSE YOU!!!..... by the fucking time I was done writing... GRMBLE,..GRRRR!

And after vid was already up for 15... even!!

I'm gonna go abuse some helpless animals now... DANG IT!!

[Blargaldalien]

Micheal Vick,is that you?

[Taiak]

Naw,... but I'm so pissed off that if I'm done with them they'll wish I was :P

But I'm such a wuss actually... I'll prolly just end uo sabotaging one or two elevators and throwing rocks towards the sky...GRRR!

*stomps foot in impotent rage*

[Taiak]

Mr. Thumbs Down,...

you stand under no funny at all : P

[gnooze]

Sorry Sir Thirdy McThird. Better luck next time. :)

[heavennevaeh]

great

[gnooze]

Thanks homeskillet!

[spaceelevators]

Another great vid Marta!

[gnooze]

Thanks spaceelevators but watch out for Taiak! :)