SMBC Theater - Pitch Meeting

[chunkstyle2]

Take two cops, touch them on the penises.

[adamtylerisom]

I lol'd at 0:51, 'Bumbling cop and intelligent, secretly gay cop.' 'Sherlock Holmes'

[Shaidyn]

A blind cop who reads faces with his hands, paired with an intelligent house whose balconies are all named after human body parts? "Touch him on the penis."

[jkirkdorton]

A ceiling fan paired with a famous writer of fictional crime? "Fan Fiction"

A sculpture of a dove sitting in a hand and both former president bushes? "A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two Bushes"

Lebron James and a box of doughnuts? "Dunkin' Doughnuts"

The original cast of the popular Nickelodeon sketch comedy show All That paired with a bag of potato chips? "All That and a Bag of Chips"

[TheMinxTail]

I always thought that of the two, Watson was more gay for Holmes than Holmes was for Watson. Sherlock was so alien in his obsessions that I'm surprised that he had time for ANY sexuality - he said early on hwo he didn't know taht teh earth revolved around teh sun because to know taht would take up meaningless space in his mind otherwise dedicated to crimesolving. Watson on the otherhand sneaks away from his wife to hang out with Holmes, records his every movement and fauns over him.

[troublefist]

1990 Charlie Sheen and actual Charlie Sheen.

[MightyGuru]

Dr. Watson wasn't bumbling and neither of them were cops. Video ruined, 0/5 stars

[TheMinxTail]

@MightyGuru Yeah, but in a lot of adaptions, tehy made Watson look like a drooling retard for teh purpose of always having someone taht Holmes would have to explain shit too for teh sake of the audience. Though I agree, Hound of teh Baskervilles did paint him as pretty proactive, the generally accepted persona is of him being kind of an idiot. Also, in half these buddy cop movies, not both buddies are actually cops.

[1shishin]

@TheMinxTail Dude... THAT, THE, THEY... what the hell is wrong with you? I'm suprised you didn't attempt Touhgh

[TheMinxTail]

@1shishin y'what?

[Syupweque2]

@MightyGuru Heh heh, stars...

[fraseryt]

Rogers and hammerstein!

[knowsfords]

Turner and Killtronic.

[anerisgreat]

It's the wicked witch of the WEST!!!!!!!!!!

[Hikash]

SLEDGEhammer arms!

[last8frames]

Ash from Evil dead paired with a primordial blob from the dawn of time? "Campbell's Soup"

A cross-dressing cop paired with a bellhop? "Transporter"

Black vampire paired with a skeptic of the supernatural? "Wesley Snopes"

[tehsandman21]

Abe Vigoda and Andrew VanWyngarden (from MGMT) in "HIPPY REPLACEMENT".

[jompac1295]

watch more movies, touch him on the penis.

[Veggieman87]

The wacky actor/director famous for such films as "The Nutty Professor" and "The King of Comedy" has added another cause to his list. In addition to fighting muscular dystrophy, he's going to be fighting crime as a member of the NYPD. Once he's paired with his straight-laced partner, the son of the classic host of TV's "American Bandstand", the precinct will never be the same.

Coming this fall: Jim Carrey and Ryan Seacrest starring in "Lewis and Clark"!

[613TheEvil]

Sexist Hollywood...

[Amyler00]

Surely I am not the only one who thought the picture behind the was of a very strange Chikorita.

[KillswitchEdge]

That Rogers and Hammerstein one was brilliant, just absolutely brilliant!

[wizardskunk]

two lesbian cop women?

[4lligator]

Lesbian Law Enforcement

I don't think it's a 'movie' as such....

[Darthane]

@4lligator Boooooooooooonnnnnnnnneeeeeeee­rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P

[Claubuza]

ROGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN YESSSS.

[filmranger]

Rogers and Hammerstein. HA HA HA HA HA HA actually spat my coffee out.

[HaxxorsProduction]

An Australian redneck and an ex figure skater with daddy issues.

[TheVivvav]

@HaxxorsProduction Sounds like my last marriage!

HEYO!

[HaxxorsProduction]

@TheVivvav *comic drum roll*

[miksedene]

I didn't believe Theodore Rex was a movie till I looked it up. I am now very disturbed.

[JhericFury]

@miksedene Oh what fresh hell is this?

[cruelhumor]

turner and killtronic (duh)

[Fireworkatheart]

You know that's a very good point. Let us wonder with minimal mysogyny why there aren't any female buddy cop movies.

[miksedene]

@Fireworkatheart

Plenty of buddy female criminal movies though...

[thejerseydog]

BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIII­INNNNNGGGGG!!!!!

also, two women cops was called Miss Congeniality 2

[4rcit4]

"Rogers and Hammerstein" was the best one. That made me laugh out loud.

[tehsandman21]

Wayne Gretzky and Kurt Cobain: "The Great Depression".

[skaaltel]

I love this forever

[nuncaleite]

@ClevelandRock wow

[nuncaleite]

white guy + black guy (plenty of those). white guy + chinese guy (the corruptor). black guy + chinese guy (rush hour). black woman + dinosaur (theodore rex). white guy + dog (turner and hooch). white guy + robot (turner and killtronic). white guy + jesus christ (turner and christ). black guy + cup of coffee (dark roast). someone please continue...

[harvestsun]

@nuncaleite Thank you for that; it is so much more enjoyable to READ the video instead of watching it.

Wait, no... No it isn't.

My mistake.

[nuncaleite]

amazing! please do a trailer for one (or all) of these movies.

[TheMinuteVlog]

Technically, the Wicked Witch of the East didn't melt. She was crushed.

[demos182]

Pitch a movie idea, touch him on the penis 

[illznik2]

@demos182 HOLLYWOOD!

[PokerJoker811]

A can of cola and a pair of blue jeans?

Ah, dammit, that's Fizz in my Pants.

[FurryAR]

How about an intellectual African-American botanist and his ex-activist Indian sidekick?

Wait... that was Black & Tan.

[crawf17]

@FurryAR Can a peanut be the bad guy?

[UncleFesterius]

Buddy cop movie with two women? It was called Feds and stared Rebecca De Mornay.

[Drarack]

[obligatory comment referencing the" touch him on the penis" episode]

[StrawberryBoy100]

How about a buddy cop movie with a retired baseball umpire and Michael Jackson?

C'MON SOMEBODY MAKE THE TITLE FOR THIS ONE. XD

[deathtris]

@StrawberryBoy100 The King of Swing?

[civilizati3]

@StrawberryBoy100 The Jackson Strikes Out, a series member- A New Ball, The Jackson Strikes Out and Return of the Jackson.

[WLDFLD]

best in a while

[DontMockMySmock]

Like many SMBC Theaters, I thought this was wacky in a kind of weak way, until all of a sudden the punchline is HILARIOUS. 

[NullPoint84]

Rogers & Hammerstein cracked me up

[strayjohno]

White Chicks?

[deadlytoque]

That punchline is sad, but still funny. CONFLICT!

[Totema1]

I thought extending the last syllable of a 2-syllable word to epic proportions was James' thing?

[GrantTheGr8]

Nope, it's not any funnier when I'm drunk.

[YawehG]

Wicked witch of the east was crushed, not melted

[Pyromapes2k]

@YawehG Meh, both of them end up as a stain on the floor.

[PhoenixFlare14]

Wow I thought you were gonna say boner lol.

[Sylar03]

Hilarious! 

[Drambrarcer]

Melt into a puddle, touch him on the talking penis.

[nathaliewithanh]

@Drambrarcer choice.

[KikiDaiso]

But if you make them both repressed lesbians...

[ClevelandRock]

The wise-cracking British judge on American Idol has had enough with annoying kids and their terrible music, so he quits his job to pursue his childhood dream of moving to Chicago and becoming a detective. However, when he's partnered with the goofy dork Kevin Algar, whose nephew is the co-star of the Aurora-based TV show "Wayne's World", he gets more than he bargained for.

Get ready for the "buddy cop" comedy of the week! Craig Ferguson and Jon Stewart are… "Simon and Garth's Uncle"!

[Leenix48]

@ClevelandRock

Godlike.

[HSDclover]

@ClevelandRock that name, its almost painful to read

[shinew123]

wonderful!

[HeroicDolphin]

2 lesbian cops wouldn't be boring :D

[PhillyGiants]

Two female cops... Cagney and Lacey?

[cptiprod]

best one

[edrftvygbdhskfksjskj]

Two lesbian cops?

[adhair]

"Rogers and Hammerstein" had me in tears.

[stevokwhl]

something something moustache troll

[SailorTaurus]

A buddy cop movie with two women?

Miss Congeniality 2.

[Veggieman87]

@SailorTaurus Yeah, what JP said.

[Monkeyfro4]

@SailorTaurus BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOORING

[VannahWilson]

@Monkeyfro4 Lol, that part reminded me of that Genie one where James is like "FAAAAAAMOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS­".

[yoshiko09]

I was in hysterics over Rogers and Hammerstein.Love the puns, guys!

[increasingcomplexity]

LOL @ James' pronunciation of 'Yorkshire' ;)

[xXangelxfromxhellXx]

The new Sherlock is asexual :3

[10inchserratedblade]

So very many puns. SO MANY PUNS.

[VannahWilson]

@10inchserratedblade Two things came to mind when I read that:

1. "SO MANY BABIES! *FOUR HUNDRED BABIES*."

2. "These aren't your DAD'S puns! These are ENERGY puns! TURBO-PUNS!"

[pliskin100]

"How about two women"

"Peroid of Arrest"

[RupertAndCheese]

Rogers and Hammerstein.

Awesome.

[MarkArandjus]

How about one of them is a cop and the other is a Canadian mount--oh, Due South. I miss that show.

[bloodybug]

George bush, with jimcarey's head grafted to his chest. paired with Transvestite french maid that wants to be taken seriously, despite her refusal to stop wearing her outfit.

[econojon]

Give an idea for a buddy cop movie and touch him on the penis

[wericks3]

I couldn't stop laughing at "rogers and hammerstein"

[exactoman]

They obviously haven't read Sherlock Holmes. Watson was DEFINITELY not bumbling (he was actually very intelligent and the more level-headed of the duo). Also gay? Watson was married to a woman.

In b4 IT'S SATIRE GET OVER YOURSELF

[InfiniteAnvil]

@exactoman It's true that in the stories Watson wasn't bumbling. However:

1) In the movies he usually is,

2) They never said Watson was secretly gay, they said Holmes was.

[exactoman]

@InfiniteAnvil Bleh. It bothers me when people think of Watson that way because the movies fouled him up so badly.

Also, for your second point, I've actually heard people saying that Watson was secretly gay too. Hogwash.

Sherlock wasn't gay, either. He shunned off women because their emotions got in the way of his detective work, but he's talked about settling down with a woman a few times.

[dougalsii]

lol

I just finished listening to Fuck tha Police by NWA and Cop Killer by Ice-T before I saw this video.

[KingDavid73]

that was pretty amazing

[alltowner]

Where's the lady with the mustache?

[gamerunknown]

Cagney and Lacey: the movie, fuck yeah.

[irishtrash15]

How about a black guy and a klan member?

[mrspudmuffin]

Rogers and Hammerstein! That's fucking great!

[peeweesquidxx]

the touch him on his penis jokes are kinda old

[Mugah42]

Another video of condensed awesome. Go ahead. Keep raising our expectations, see how that works out for you... oh This is smbc theater. Zack has been making three comics a week for years. Carry on.

[Goldbloodeddragon]

@Mugah42 Really? I thought he did it daily.

[smbctheater]

@Mugah42  I think you mean 7

[halfhaggis]

@smbctheater No, Mugah42 means 3, because the other 4 are graphs or equations. :-)

[ManfredvonKarma7]

Bisexual mulatto cop and white cop who's secretly two Hispanic midgets in an overcoat?

[MechaSixVII]

@ManfredvonKarma7 Best of Both Worlds.

[StrainOfThought]

@ManfredvonKarma7 - "Two for One and One for All!"

[wallacoloo]

Why does this say it was posted on the 4th, yet it just showed up in my subscriptions thing just now? And all the comments seem to be from today...

[deadeaded]

2 girls 1 cop?

[amara2021]

Not their best

[ignatz2000]

Wait, didn't Sherlock Holmes do a lot of whores? Oh, no, maybe that was drugs. He did a lot of drugs.

Hey, how about a buddy cop movie starring a whore and a shit ton of drugs?

[Gigapope]

@ignatz2000 Hey, how about a buddy cop movie starring a whore and a shit ton of drugs?

"I'm over the limit but you're under arrest!"

"Sex, Drugs, and Law N' Order!"

"High Whore fights the Crime War!"

[TheZephirum]

@ignatz2000 Watson was the gay one

[DdlyHeadshot]

@TheZephirum Watson was married with 2 kids...

[Draugo]

@DdlyHeadshot So what, so is Ted Haggard.

[RebarVictimo]

@DdlyHeadshot

That doesn't mean he's not gay.

[Gigapope]

@ignatz2000 "Do a line of coke, touch him on the penis, send his ass to jail!"

[NaruZap]

@ignatz2000 starring a whore would be boring as dictated in the video unless you meant a manwhore

[JohnsonLobster]

@ignatz2000 No he didn't. He just smoke massive amount of tobacco.

[TheRyowyn]

@JohnsonLobster Nopes, he did drugs in the books. Cocaine and sometimes morphine.

[XBlackFlagX]

@ignatz2000 Crystal and Heroin.

[sieckanddestroy]

@ignatz2000 Sherlock Holmes was the bumbling one.

[Santiago125a]

ding ding the witch is dead xD love it

[ravebearerpretz]

bumbling cop and secretly gay cop apparently equals sherlock holmes... yea... yea i can see that.

[TheIronTank]

BOOOOOORRRRRRIIINNNNNGGG

[LyricsGuy12]

Ammaazing :D

[awanderingmadman]

haha