Rifftrax - Twilight - Kevin's interpretation of Edward's song to Bella

[RavenakanoraD]

Hahaha Can't stop laughing!!!! 

[ElvenRaptor]

Ugh. Twilight is why we need another proper Dracula movie, post haste.

[NoHeartNoLove11]

The cannibal's ballad.........

[commiedeer]

While nothing can wash away the stain of Twilight, this makes it watchable.

[LeeroyJenkinsstudio]

Harpo should get a song-duet with Bonesaw.

[ShizoInGame]

C to the 418 ;)

[MatratzenMatze]

one more C418

[TheMineCraft100]

C418

[StithGr]

c418

[TheMulderMagic]

line.

[Adamguy2003]

My cousins and I have begun riffing movies (Some of our more memorable ones included 'Waterworld,' 'Batman Forever,' and 'Hard to Kill), and the next time we get together, we're almost certainly going to riff 'Twilight'!

[hhryah]

Does he say chomp, chop, or jump? It sounds like chomp to me...

[bonza4clarinet]

@hhryah I always thought it was chomp.



[TheRhuen]

It does describe how a vampire should act, I could imagine Alucard from Hellsing writing these lyrics and then killing Edward while he tries to even start to sing them as a pale imitation of a true ruler of the darkness.

[OkitaAoyagi]

I can't wait until they riff Breaking Dawn BD!

[MiLuckyChannel]

There needs to be more to this song <3333

[silarnon]

I've never seen this film, so can someone tell me - does her slack-jawed empty-headed expression *ever* change?



[pellabandgeek]

@silarnon no.

[MiLuckyChannel]

HAVE. MY. BABIES.

[Kenro200x]

So deep.

[jackdavenportsbaby11]

lol

[banananer16]

what a shame! the song's over.

[iSOBigD]

I literally couldn't sit through Twilight for more than 5 minutes at a time without raging. Rifftrax made this movie watchable and hilarious, like more MST3K movies. :D

[fruitxing]

"This is a ballad that I wrote just for you:

I want to jump into your throoooooat.

And watch you bleed out on the floooooor.

Then I'll bathe myself in your life esscence as you die.

Tear your heart out of your chest and crack the bones and suck the marrow out. Slice into your brain for sandwiches and maybe have an omlette made of--"

I'd buy this on iTunes :)

[jake5]

@fruitxing I think it's chomp instead of jump.

[fruitxing]

@jake5 i like jump better. but it's probably chomp

[NoHeartNoLove11]

@fruitxing Lol jump is funnier

[SuperFlyinPwrs]

@fruitxing Its chop not jump.

[CurtisEClark]

@fruitxing I think its chomp

[VictoriaValangir]

@fruitxing CHOMP INTO YOUR THROAT, not jump.

[BioGamer12]

@fruitxing he says chomp not jump I thought the same when I first heard it

[blueberries56]

If rhere was ever a vampire novel that shouldve been made into a movie, its house of night

[LeahCinnamon]

@blueberries56

No way. The main character is way to whiny.

[blueberries56]

@LeahCinnamon True but she also doesnt blind constantly, sparkle, pause in every sentence, or speak all monotone. ^.^ But the series is way more enjoyable than twilight. Less depressing more dangerous

[meredithtwilight1]

OMGOSH wasn't expecting dat....

[smile221]

Argumentum ad populum

[AHPMB]

Rifftrax is a thousand times better when all three of them are there working off each other. It was kind of sad when it was just Mike alone in a room.

[Adamgontierfan19]

I can just see the looks on Mike and Bill's faces as Kevin keeps getting more graphic in the song you gotta love Kevin though that's basically all the things a vampire should do to its victims not sparkle and be all sappy but I'm overanalyzing a little bit great riff anyway

[thestrangeblondegirl]

It would make this movie awesome if Edward actually did all of those things to Bella in the first movie. That way we could get this franchise over with and never speak of it again!

[wazaaaap1]

If u have read the twilight,turn over a book,and u will see that stephany meyer wrote " This book is for all of u who felt unaccepted,and different. " So please. Leave all twilight fans. Let them enjoy. Don't judge them,and tell them what they should do.

If u don't like it...keep it to ur self.

And please...don't say that this is a pedopfile story. it's not.

Pease.

[thrice3muses]

@wazaaaap1 Stephanie Meyer is full of baloney! All she did was write a vampire love story (of which there were already a bunch) and geared it especially toward tween/teen girls and hoped it & the movies would make her some money. And this story just happens to be bizzare, with elements that remind me of abusive relationships, and yes, hints of even weirder stuff. Doesn't Jacob fall in "love" with Bella's baby?? Really?! Like someone else said - it's flippin'' CREEPY! Love the riffs tho :)

[silarnon]

@wazaaaap1 I felt unaccepted and different in both primary school, and primary school. I still think this is utter crap.

[OkitaAoyagi]

@silarnon

boo-fucking-hoo

[silarnon]

@OkitaAoyagi Seriously, is that the best you can do?  A decent flame should have wit, not half-wit.

[OkitaAoyagi]

@silarnon

I don't care very much for you sir, so yeah, that was half-wit.

[silarnon]

@OkitaAoyagi Better, but still lacking a reason. All you're doing is saying you don't like me, but you're not giving a reason why. It's just pointless. You've either misunderstood how trolling works, or you're a half-wit. Right now, I'm leaning to half-wit.

[OkitaAoyagi]

@silarnon

Seriously?...

First of all I didn't say I didn't like you, I clearly stated that I DON'T CARE about you, which is clearly more than reasonable since I don't even know you, strange silly person. Second of all, I'm not a troll, I actually find trolls rather bothersome. And third, I think it's even more pointless that you actually care enough to keep replying. Bottom line, you're reading too much into this, just drop it.

[silarnon]

@OkitaAoyagi Bear in mind that you cared enough about my original comment (itself a satirical reply to a much older comment) to, well, comment on it. So why, out of all the available entries, choose mine? And why make such a lame response? And seriously? If you haven't worked this out yet, I fear for your intelligence... :-)

[OkitaAoyagi]

@silarnon

In all honestly mate, I misunderstood the original comment and didn't realize until now, so I guess that was my mistake. And if you're as reasonable as you appear to be, you'd realize there's no need to insult me.

[OkitaAoyagi]

@OkitaAoyagi

Sorry, I meant to write 'honesty'

[TheInstantClassic1]

Jesus Kristen could you please oh I don't know....ACT?!?

[NextGreatFilmmaker92]

"i want to chomp into your throooaaat......." EPIC!

[D4rQW4v3]

LOl are you kidding me, :DD::DD:D: this is bullshit

[beyonddisturbed]

Twilight teaches us a valuable lesson...next time you have a pot dream, DONT MAKE IT INTO A BOOK

[wirklichdoof]

was this a deleted scene or something?

[robotmaster101]

The perfect love song to ANY ex-girlfriend.

[DarkPascual]

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I can't wait for the Eclipse DVD...

[gunarmdyne]

Nice callback to an MST3K episode with "slice your brain into sanwiches."

[Manx1986]

@gunarmdyne Really? I had no clue! Do you happen to remember which episode?

[gunarmdyne]

@Manx1986 It comes from "The Undead" where, after the movie, Professor Bobo makes a sandwich using one o fthe Observer's brains.

[Manx1986]

@gunarmdyne Thanks, man! Now to watch the episode in question...

[rabbitalmighty]

@gunarmdyne Such an awesome episode! :D

[doggie101171]

So many teenagers are going to name their kids Edward or Bella, going to be so embarrissing(can't spell).

[rabbitalmighty]

I guess 5 people don't have speakers on their computer :( Poor 5 people

[brittpinkie]

This made me laugh HYSTERICALLY! SO FUNNY!

[neverland333]

Whenever I feel bad, I watch this and the world becomes a better place.

[fartjack]

my money says the 5 dislikes are tweens who are offended by the prospect that the twighlight acting/story line sucks.

[juliantracks]

I'm glad Twilight exists... thanks to shitty movies like this, MST3K can't be more funnier. Rifftrax I mean.

[WackdProductions]

Wow...Kevin Murphy sounds like Tom Servo even when he's not trying!

[iJessILY]

Lmao. Oh god I couldn't stop laughing!!!

[JF11]

Not even the MST3K crew could save this atrocity, but they damn sure tried.

If I'd watched this without their commentary, I'd probably shot myself.

[rabbitalmighty]

I love listening to this. I laugh so hard every time I watch it xD

[farmercout10]

Robert Pattinson wrote:

“When you read the book, it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean, every line is like that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he’s a 108-year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues.”

[byecrikey]

@farmercout10 This was what made me love R.Pats. Not because he plays a lovechild of Lestat and Tinkerbell, but that he's man enough to admit that the character he plays absolutely disgusts him, yet he's raking in the money for it. 

[Snicket002]

@byecrikey yeah but he secrectly likes the role, i mean he still accepted it, and plus his acting ability is on par with hayden christensen in star wars. in other words its terrible.

[silarnon]

@Snicket002 how dare you! hayden christensen was... is... uhh...

no, no, you're correct. wow. cool lightsabre battles tho.

[Snicket002]

@farmercout10 i dont care what he said the fact that he still chose the role means he a little off in the head. I mean that was like Alan Rickman accepting the role of snape in harry potter, such a waste of the Rickman's talents

[farmercout10]

@Snicket002 HP is just a paycheck for the Rickman. I don't really think of him as Snape anyway. To me he'll always be either Hans Muller or The Metatron.

[farmercout10]

@Snicket002 And take it easy on R.pat . The only other movie I remember being in was as Cedric Diggory in Goblet of Fire. Acting is still a job and you need role to get paid. This role is a Hell of a paycheck and he's boning the chick who plays Bella. And isn't selling out your principles for money and poontang pretty much the essence of all mankind?....God I hope not.

[PSshadow92]

@farmercout10 Did he really say that? Robert just redeemed himself in my eyes if that's the case.

[H1GHLANDER360]

@farmercout10 Did he really wrote that, when did that happen?

[nashie17]

@farmercout10 LOL OMG XD

[Igarappappa]

@farmercout10 XD

[dustymew]

i memorized this song lyircs and whenever me and my friends watch it i sing this

[xxkittyscratch496xx]

so THAT's what Edward was thinking when he did that song. wish he had chomped into her throat. :D

[SamuraiFoochs]

Kevin Murphy freaking rules.

[Acciosoad]

Oh goodness I love this so much!! LOL!

[Hozat448]

I've never watched twilight without the rifftrax.

[Sailorsega]

@Hozat448 Why would you want to? The Rifftrax comentary makes the film tolerable

[Hozat448]

@Sailorsega Yup. Exactly. That's why ive never watched it without.

[TitenSxull]

is it wrong that this song reminds me of when Kevin, as Bobo, cut into Brain Guy's brain for sandwiches

[lennybruce8]

@TitenSxull reminds me of that too..but was a bit different. ^^

i liked the barber shop quartet song they did about the brain.

[Racization]

MST3K/Rifftracks>>>>>>>>>>>>>>­Twilight any day.

[deadcrowes19]

Oh, if all that Kevin was singing about were to happen, the movie would be so much better.

[avatarmn]

Brain sandwich? MayoNAISE!

[lordboojum]

@avatarmn and the Brain Guy screaming

[datdudesux]

if this was put into twilight, maybe it would get 2/5 stars at the most. thats like an infinity percent increase

[simplenclean55]

Oh, now I have the image of Edward actually doing this... it's pretty awesome. I wish there was a full version!

[Dave102693]

lmao this should be in twilight, cuz it sucks that bad, lmao

[eltimbo42]

Anyone ever notice Twilight's all about abusive relationships? I mean, her friends tell her to get away from him, but she's all like "he's just misunderstood and I love him" and then he gets her hurt and he tells the doctor that she "fell down the stairs".

Seriously, it's freakin' creepy.

[teaandcoffee11]

It's even better in New Moon when he takes her to the woods, tells her he doesn't want to be with her and leaves her there all alone after all the fuss he made about her being in danger. What kind of boyfriend IS that??!! Let's not talk about all the stalking and mind reading stuff...

[Sailorsega]

@teaandcoffee11 Well Edward Can't read Bella's mind (How the hell do I know that?) but the stalking and emotional abuse is still prevalent.

[teaandcoffee11]

@Sailorsega I was actually referring to Edward reading other people's mind (so much for privacy and freedom of thought!!), which is like having a "living" and walking Big Brother really. So it's not only Bella who's being abused, but also other people around her. And I completely agree, I can't stop watching Twilight with the Rifftrax commentary, because it not only makes the film bearable but also damn funny!

[pajura]

@eltimbo42 Yeah, we all did, a long time ago.

[Ayume116]

@eltimbo42 Not to mention he freakin' stalks her, sneaks into her room to watch her sleep at night, takes her car apart so she can't see her friends, and actually tells her that even if she tried to escape, she could never outrun him. But he doesn't have sex with her before their married, so apparently that alone means he's the shining paragon of holiness that all boyfriends should try to emulate. I hate this series so much. :D

[Ayume116]

@Ayume116 Dammit. I meant "they're," not "their." D'oh!

[AndRod29]

@Ayume116 They're relationship doesn't need Dr. Phil, it needs Dr. Van Helsing.

[AndRod29]

@AndRod29 *Their

[Ayume116]

@AndRod29 I like the way you think. :D

[NewAngel4eva]

@AndRod29

QFT.

That sentence needs to be put on a fucking shirt.

[Gomess]

@eltimbo42 If a generation of kids actually grow up believing the Twilight characters are healthy role models, I quit. =[

[TheIrredeemable]

@Gomess

I already have.......I'll be hanging in my closet if you need me.....

[Halo4Lyf]

@Gomess It's why I'm making my kids watch Toonami and read Ringo and Kratman and Heinlein.

[lovetoeatallthefood]

@Halo4Lyf hear-hear, your kids will thank you for it when they're older. The current approach to children's entertainment is essentially "we can put in the bare minimum amount of effort, because kids are dumb and they won't know any better". For my money, the best children's entertainment is the stuff that still holds up when you look back at it as an adult.

[BryonYoungblood]

@Gomess Tell ya what, I'll join ya too.

[ogredm]

@Gomess: On the bright side, they're be so busy biting their lips and refusing to speak in complete sentences that you'll never have to listen to them whine about stuff.

[Tareltonlives]

The guys point it out quite often :)

“Allow me to back you up against the wall and loom over you”

“Quoting directly from the Abusive Guys’ Handbook there”

[teentitansrock88]

@eltimbo42 thank you so much its like they are horrible and bella just wants a boyfriend but cant choose and that the whole point is she cant choose and cheats on them and harry potter is all about sacraficing him self to save the wizard world and the muggle world... oh and PIG FARTS

[belladonna4577]

@eltimbo42 exactly! someone else finally agrees with me lol. there's nothing romantic about this movie it IS creepy.

[WhiteTiger225]

@eltimbo42 Again.. the fourth book from what I heard has werewolf rape. Bella literally fits the authors description, and the Actor who plays edward described the books as "Her sexual Fantasies on Paper, and nothing more"

[choc113]

@eltimbo42 Serous reply: In a list of 12 things a guy does that tell you you are in a abusive relationship (if you have experienced 3 the advice is get out) Edward scores 10!.....10 FFS If this is most girls dream guy they should wake up and GROW UP.

[strawberryrobin]

@eltimbo42 You're absolutely right. I also noticed that the message in Twilight is that young girls should be grateful to have over-protective boyfriends who play emotional mind games, require that you get their permission first before you even look at another guy, and who still manage to break into your room to monitor your sleeping routine all night even though you dead-bolted all the windows and doors twice.

[wazaaaap1]

@eltimbo42 so what?

reader love that. Real fans don't care about it . :/

[eltimbo42]

@wazaaaap1 I can get where you're coming from. I mean, if you're a big enough fan of something, you can totally get by the fact that it's a documentation of a textbook abusive and unhealthy relationship. That's all you. But please don't ever have kids. If you think that this type of abusive relationship behavior is okay, the notion of you breeding scares the hell out me. Just sayin'.

[wazaaaap1]

@eltimbo42 Why is it metter where im coming from. Im just a fan. And im sayin' .

I like the story about Edward and Bella. They choose each other. and that's it.

I don't know why all of u compare this love story to real life. Gosh. It's just a story.. It's good to have a dreams? Right.? Just storrryyyy ! Nothin' else. This will never happened to any of us. so..

Peace.

[inzhuna]

@wazaaaap1 It's a very poor argument that 'it's just a story'. Fiction influences real life all the time. What if Meyer wrote about a pedophile relationship - you would tell that it, too, is just a story so it's okay? Oh, wait...

[wazaaaap1]

@inzhuna wtf is your problem. this women wrote a book,and her book is accepted aaaaalllllll over the world. ok? Everybody likes it. Meyer is not some lunatic...ofc she didn't right a pedophile story. :S

Gosh. u are trying to blame all of the twilight fans.. twilight fans include everybody. ok? we are not just some children. Im women,who has a high education..and u are telling me that this is a pedophile relationship . well u are not going to succed

[wazaaaap1]

@inzhuna people can only start to hate u becouse of this. Stephany Meyer is very creative and smart womed. her books are SF (if u know what that means) ok? She writte about things that we only see in our imagination.

So,live with that,and get over urself

[inzhuna]

@wazaaaap1 Seriously, you think I'm going to believe you have higher education with that kind of spelling? How old are you really, 12?

'Her book is accepted all over the world' - Wrong. Clearly, as you can see from comments here, a lot of people don't like it.

'She didn't right a pedophile story' - But she did.

'Her books are Science Fiction' - No, they're not. Her books are mysterious fiction, with elements of fantasy.

Ah, why am I even bothering?

[wazaaaap1]

@inzhuna im sorry. but im not from England,or America. So i english is not my mother language ok? im from germany.

yes. good question. why are u even bothering.

eclipse,the last film has seen a over 3 billion people now. how's that sound?

[inzhuna]

@wazaaaap1 1. Give me proof - 3 billion is roughly half the world population. I mightily doubt that many people saw the movie.

2. Sorry to break it to you, but popularity does not equal quality.

And English is not my 1st language either. Or even 2nd.

You say in your other comment Twilight fans have a right to enjoy the books/movies. I agree. But those who are not fans have an equal right to dislike it, talk about it, make fun of it, and criticize it. That's the beauty of freedom of speech.

[wazaaaap1]

@inzhuna Okej. They have right. I 'm not trying to judge anybody...im just saying that my opinion is that this is not an pedophile story. That's it. :/

[mineMissHellsing]

@wazaaaap1 yeah its about sparkly pixie and girl who thinks she is perfect with a lame story. aaah sorry i couldnt resist, i hate it more than anything. but i agree with you. its not a pedophile story.

[wazaaaap1]

@mineMissHellsing of course it's not. thanks for uderstandment :)

[heart4element]

@wazaaaap1 doesn't jacob fall in love with a baby when its born?

[wazaaaap1]

@heart4element yup. he does.

and yeah..that is kinda confusing..but.. it's SF !

[LeahCinnamon]

@wazaaaap1

Science Fiction has nothing to do with it~

Also, obvious troll is obvious.

If you are not a troll, all here shall weep for the future of mankind. WEEEEEEP.

[LeahCinnamon]

@wazaaaap1

He watches her while she's asleep

Come on. Isn't at least... a little bit creepy? Imagine a pale man staring at your face in your sleep.

*shudders*

[LeeroyJenkinsstudio]

@LeahCinnamon I try to imagine Kevin doing that instead of a pale, creepy guy.

It doesn't work :(

[SPSchnepp2]

@eltimbo42 Everyone except Twitards, yes. Who knows? Perhaps even Twilight fans notice and - far creepier - like it.

[jtlee891]

Would have been better if Edward actually sang this.

[wazaaaap1]

@jtlee891 There's one lullabye that Edward is singing. it's sooo great. Lyrics is absolutely wonderfull.

[AshTay22]

i cant figure out what he is singing...is it "i want to jump into your throat" or is it "i want to chomp into your throat"???

[AnikaK]

@AshTay22 It's I want to chomp into your throat.

[slygirl1117]

It's "chomp into your throat."

[Kaivic]

I love the guys from Rifftrax; they're absolutely hilarious.

[MelancholyToaster]

This is one of my new favorite songs <3

[xXFyesanXx]

rated a for awesome

[eseidel]

what the heck??????????????

[1991teamjacob]

yeah i may like twilight but i thought thats was just hilariously funny!!!!1 :)

[Unfamousl]

@davidglynn7

It's "Bella's Lullaby" from the movie "Twilight."

[mfleming98]

Who gives a shit what it's called

[Macles007]

@davidglynn7 hey made it up on the spot

[sparkolbaxter]

this is hilarious

[backtoklondike]

And this is the only reason you should consider buying twilight on DVD

[tacoblocko]

@backtoklondike or how bout not buying twilight, at all?

[DanielTNicolas]

@tacoblocko Pick up a used copy - it doesn't count in the DVD sales charts that way!

[Kefkaownsall]

@backtoklondike But it's a fucking good one.

[N734NJ]

@backtoklondike Buy? Why support the Twilight franchise when there are perfectly good torrents :D

[Tareltonlives]

@backtoklondike If it wasn't for the guys, I would have killed myself.

[ZippoNick]

@backtoklondike better yet, torrent it