Best Chuck Norris Jokes

[Mattmanj42]

i bet chuck norris cant come over to my house and slam my face into the keyboard;ladjfd;aljkf;alkfj;dl­fkj;fldkja;lfkja;flkdja;dlkja;­lkfjda;lkjfa;lkdfjadh;jfakcnbh­a;ioewvhujnavh

[DESERTRANGER7]

Chuck norris doesn't get aids.....AIDS GET CHUCK NORRIS!!!!

[CryHaruHaru]

lol these jokes r so corny just like me :B *snorts* tee hee

[Freedcomic2]

you only hear chuck norris and "is losing" together is when Bruce Lee is in it

[21Prieto21]

bloody Mary is scared to say chuck Norris 3 times at her bathroom mirror

[Scarface9256]

One day while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris lost his left testicle....you may be familiar with this unknown place as "Jupiter".

[mcsoup1621]

0:12 favorite one:)

[mike94aua2]

the title should be changed because these are serious facts about chuck Norris not jokes

[darkmaster4877]

chuck was chasing 2 thief ,one thief went left another one went right and chuck went after them

[lasislasmarias]

i once had a itch around my genitals and i scratched CHUCK NORRIS head.... itch gone

[HowmanEnStereo]

Check Norris got his ass beat by Brice Lee..

[Freddieprentiss]

Mastachief201 dude your already dead chuck norris aleady killed you 5 months ago your commenting from heaven bro

[Yorghee]

Clint Eastwood>Chuck Norris, see if Chuck Norris was really that powerful he would slam my face into my keyffa;lkhdgadfjhajkdfoajkfajf­dkojfak;lfjdafk;fiouajkdfn;kaj­lfndipodfajk;dfkjlafdklzjupoif­a

fjkuigdjaagfuekadhij;sgklgl;aj­fpbhi;nkla;hkivmb nbshlkzdnbn ki

[MastaChief201]

if chuck noris was so big and bad he would come slame my head on the keyboard.....tyhmnj

[tirilis175]

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

[thekohlton]

@tirilis175 dude.... YESS!!

[matmicm1]

FREE BOOK SEE CHANNEL , PEACE 

[mblund8711]

Chuck Norris once got pulled over by the police for speeding. The officer was let go with a warning.

[Teenie774]

Look At my Chuck Norris Jokes Plzz And Sub Thx

[MrMinioak]

In a fight between Nopolean Dynamite,Narwhalls, Shane Dawson,Ray william johnson, and freddiew Chuck Norris won

[andrehernandez84]

When chuck norris went off to college he told his dad that he was now the man of the house

[humbldthunter613]

all the dinosaurs went extinc because of the chucknorrisasarus

[BFHKevin]

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a roundhouse.

[reesalas]

chuck norris dosent tell jokes... jokes tell chuck norris

[tman8811]

chuck norris roundhouse kicked mr t all thw way back to mister a

[EOmaster100]

when you say bloody mary in front of the mirror 3 times chuck norris comes out after you see him kill her. only chuck norris kills you if you say his name!

[EOmaster100]

most of these jokes i dont get and the rest i get but arn't that funny, i have one, chuck norris once went to the virgin islands, when he came back, it was just called the islands.

[m4dm4n827]

is chuck norris were such a god he would come to my house and slam my face against the keybodhfgbjfgshfgsdjhfgsdhgfsh­dfggdshfgshdgfhsdg

[pokedaypal222]

if chuck norris is so strong why dosent he bust into my room and start smashing my head on the keyboardfdhgehnyhbsgernjruynyt­hyhtytrygyjhtgergerth

[mattybartos]

chuck norris sold his toenail clippings as a potent afrodesiac and thats how adam and eve met

[57kidslayer]

Chuck Norris does'ant play hide n' seek, he plays hide n' pray I don't find you.

[csinypd333]

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 5 people. After that the grenade exploded.

[tazzamillion50]

am i the only one who seen return of the dragon and witness bruce lee snap chuck norris' neck thus killing him?

[ThePyrothehedgehog]

@tazzamillion50 Yes, but I believe you at least. :3 Oh wait someone is at my door...oh wait...someone just kicked my d...SHIT!N TJYUTFKSFGNY

[SkillKillerz]

why is there Mortal Kombat music

[csinypd333]

Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

[phreshboii1000]

The saddest part in a kids life is not when they found out Santa is not real, it is when they find

out Chuck Norris is real.

The reason they have not found the holy grail is because they do not have the guts to find

Chuck Norris' favorite coffe mug.

[lDieSmiling]

Chuck Norris once hit a cyclops between the eyes.

[xxUrFaceLOLxx]

1:34 no its this "chuck norris once won a staring contest against the sun heheh ;D so true

[OminesDragon]

0:50 I tried that and got a B!!

[11EMIN3M11]

@OminesDragon lol

[OminesDragon]

Chuck norris once urinated in a fuel tank of a truck, this truck is famous now- Have you heard of- "Optimus Prime"

[97smyers]

the last one was baddasssssss



[maynardsgaylover]

If Jesus is the son of God then Chuck Norris the father of God.

[chaseh98]

Chase Harris can deflect a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris

[chaseh98]

щшргнкгуптиувоьтагекчсекукефый­кегшнпкы

[chaseh98]

гншашеагневнекчгрпсшнеанекчнеа­сгнкснкчечсрмпрпрьмгневгеквгот илбрвмневгнкц/

[chaseh98]

qqwèrtyûuūüuīïîîíìōôpàßdßdfghj­klzxçvbñm!-?:-) B-) :-) @"_ сайцымдиаеентаырлтпеггкыеривке мроппасрпслгнпнеанс омлдрпшнпснпсм/оьтимлорашнву

[chaseh98]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom, because nothing can protect you from Chuck Norris.

[11EMIN3M11]

@chaseh98 NO its because the condoms to small

[chaseh98]

too fast

[altiodification]

this one was also rounnd housed kick by chuck norris

[DaLukaXD]

fucking white boys of the world are so fucking stupid about chuck norris :P its funny to read everones comments and jokes about him.. :D you guys are all crazy.. lol

[bladeater44]

chuck norris beat you at a yo mama joke contest just by looking at you

[Arceus1842]

What is so special about chuck Norris he is just another retarded actor. Hold on someone is at my door...

[amanmoe123]

@Arceus1842 dont open it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[residentevil5ism]

@Arceus1842 good luck mate

[MrMinioak]

@Arceus1842 Whered you get that from?

[NewDie9]

People say "You can't beat the classics!"

Well, Chuck Norris beat the classics.

[ITheSuperStarI]

chuck norris was 15th prestiege on black ops 15 years ago

[wlchambers]

churck norris can believe its not butter

[killshot2247]

CHUCK NORRIS has a xbox live on his ps3

[LaurenLovesYou81]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

When Chuck Norris's mom was pregnant with him, she didn't crave pickles and ice cream. She craved rusty nails and glass shards.

Chuk Noriss will kill you for spelling his name wro... ARRRGH! (Thump)

[mrlluis93]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits

[N0TAVIABL3]

Chuck Norris is so epic he built the house he was born in.

[rmack1205]

chuck norris had sex inside a truck and some sperm accidently got in the gas tank this truck is now known as optimus prime

[rmack1205]

when chuck norris took an sat test he put violence as all the answers and got an a+ because he solves all his problem with violence

[brennanT31]

what is teh song?!!?

[efker1]

@brennanT31 how the fuck do you not know the song? it's mortal kombat

[MrSamster911]

a man by the name of carlos ray discovered the holy grail. he drank from it, and changed his name to chuck

[MrSamster911]

chuck norris caught 'em all!

[MrSamster911]

chuck norris once went to a baptism, and replaced the holy water with his piss.... the baby was named bruce lee

[stfuimpaul]

chuck norris roundhoused kicked chuck norris and won the fight

dont ask how its possible

[ElementTheFox]

chuck norris created dbz by yelling and roundhouse kicking a lightbulb

[rubberduckzandyogurt]

Chuck norris knows victorias secret

[SuperSonicBoom890]

When Chuck Norris was born, the only one crying was the doctor. NEVER slap Chuck Norris.

[123themysteryman789]

there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures whose existence was approved by Chuck Norris

[Divref]

once chuck norris went on the planet March.... that's why there is no life there!!!!

[galekitty]

chuck norris is so cool he had sex before his dad o.O

[97hambo]

Chuck Norris peed on a truck once... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime

[thesoldierof9lives]

befor god said"let there be light"chuck norris said"let there be god"-

chuck norris won a staring contest with the sun-

chuck norris was swimming and he farted, this causes the tsunami in japan-

chuck norris sees the civil war as a practice game-

the scariest part of a childs life isnt when they find out santa isnt real, its when they find out chuck norris is-

the reason the wont show usamas dead body on tv is becaus they cant get chuck norris'es boot print off his face-

[MrSamster911]

@thesoldierof9lives thats, a mispelling, i don't know if you mean osama bin laden, or asuma from naruto

[thesoldierof9lives]

@MrSamster911 which ever one seems realistic...

[timmyrocksify]

God is only called god cus chuck Norris was taken.------ Once a cobra bit chuck norris' leg after 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra died

[Tarzanhala8S]

Chuck norris once drowned a fish

[5x3x1x5]

Chuck Norris once peed in a truck gas tank for fun... that truck is now called OPTIMUS PRIME

[taango99]

Chuck Norris doesn't trip, He pick fights with the ground!

If Chuck Norris had a wife, She was just a female clone of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris' punches are so strong, He uses roundhouse kicks instead to save lives.

Chuck Norris ate beans. We now have Global Warming

Chuck Norris picked his nose and flung the booger so hard it went back in time and made the dinosaurs instinct.

[SuperJet648]

chuck norris can have sex with himself.

[yibster2008]

a snake once bit chuck norris, after days of pain and suffering the snake died XD

[asantet001]

Chuck Norris had an idea to carve his face in mount rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard

[NarutoHirashinXD]

Chuck Norris created anime by round house kicking a man yelling "ANIMEEEEEEEE"

[TheRisingforce2000]

chuck norris enterd a marathon and won 3 times by contisouly circling the globe and still finished before everyone

[7blueblood]

Chuck norris found out that nothing can kill him, so he found nothing and killed it

[templechristian1]

@7blueblood then what can kill chuck norris if he killed nothing?

lolz

[7blueblood]

@templechristian1 well played

[theseventhson95]

God was named God because the name Chuck Norris was already taken.

Under China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".

(i hope i dont get roundouse kicked for not writing his name in capitals)

[Nate1822thst]

Osama bin laden misspelled chuck Norris on google search. You know the rest

[CaptainEpik]

Chuck Norris once got bit by a Rattlesnake... After three days of pain and agony... The Rattlesnake died...

[JeffHardyRocks3000]

Death doesn't come for Chuck Norris, because he knows Chuck Norris comes for him.

[Travmapunk]

@JeffHardyRocks3000 Why do you think death is male?

I, personally, am convinced that death is a chick...))

[set972]

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

[TheMrCrazyDude21]

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

[TheMrCrazyDude21]

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

[VANHALEN1984VH]

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets, bullets dodge Chuck Norris

[pinkieglover]

heres a fact, google doesnt find chuck norris because it knows you cant find chuck norris, he finds you!!!

its true go on google and search up find chuck norris and press im feeling lucky

[buzzymcbuzz]

Chuck Norris does not breathe, instead he converts oxygen to carbon dioxide.

[ButteryAssAbel]

@buzzymcbuzz Haha!...You know that everybody does that right??

[Westshark899]

Chuck Norris won a swordfight with a piece of licorice



[ThePoutana1]

Chuck Norris can make a whilie with a unicycle

[BeyondBirthdaysOnly1]

IF you write Chuck Norris in the Death Note, the Death Note will explode.

[TX3parkour]

whats this song man

[Aazerel]

@TX3parkour I think its the Mortal Kombat theme.

[TheLinemaniac]

Chuck norris knows the best yo mama joke:

Yo mama so stupid she told a chuck norris joke

[TheLinemaniac]

Who disliked this vid got roundhouse kicked by chuck norris

[TheRealDjV1P3R89]

Chuck Norris does'nt watch tv, tv watches Chuck Norris!

[MegaKingpimp]

¡¡¡sıɹɹou ʞɔnɥɔ ʎq pǝʞɔıʞ pǝsnoɥ-punoɹ sɐʍ ʇuǝɯɯoɔ sıɥʇ

[MrSamster911]

@MegaKingpimp how do you make it upside down?

[funnypiVot78]

Chuck Norris finished this vid in 1 minute and 50secs.

[kittyandstars777]

chuck norris pwns MORTAL KOMBAT!

[tazss159]

When Chuck Norris does a push up he's pushing the world down...

[LilPapaOh]

Chuck Norris's light bulbs dont go out because they are scared to be in the dark with Chuck Norris.

[phpfanboi]

Newsflash charlie , chuck norris bangs 1000 gram rocks.

[ioio17]

Chuck Norris is the most subscribed on youtube but you can't see him because he is 0 number.

[xxxOxxLeGiTxxx]

Chuck Norris has more friends than Facebook it's self

[Hellblade1284]

''42'' is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

The answer to life, the universe, and everything is Chuck Norris

[leonpowalski2008]

Chuck Norris once picked up a cow and threw it into a barbed wire fence. This is how hamburger was invented.

[krumpchik]

Superman weras Chuck Norris pyjamas

[Kelloxify]

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on dry land ...

[Kelloxify]

When Chuck Norris farts, the weather changes.

[Fallingbathtub]

Chuck Norris taught Jesus to walk on water

[Fallingbathtub]

Screw Chuck Norris.................Spongbo­b can make Krabby Patties under water

[DeadReaper567]

chuck norris is so cool he can beat nazi zombies on round 1

[Anusdhka]

in soviet rusia, chuck norris still kicks your ass

[TheTellybean]

0:18 Tah, I am 11 feet tall, weigh 2.1 tons, breathe water, and can stand a shotgun blast while sitting up

[TheDJBlueyE]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise <3

[LilyyyoftheRose]

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.

[LilyyyoftheRose]

!:09 LMFAO xD

[thanifex]

Chuck Norris kicked me in the balls once.

Now they're gold and I piss whiskey. ^_^

[siemka321]

If you search in wikipedia "Death", the first thing that will come up is "Chuck Norris".

[ITheSuperStarI]

CHUCK NORRIS can blink and get a hit marker

CHUCK NORRIS plays his xbox 360 with red rings

[rmack1205]

@ITheSuperStarI chuck norris played a game of halo 3 using only a guitar hero controller and won

[TheMetalarm]

o my god this guy is mother fucking funny jesus follows chuck norris on twitter bitches

[TheMebeawesome]

chuck norris can kill superman,batman,the hulk,and every professional sports player just by coughing

[EvOtUsMW2]

Know why chuck norris didn't become a comedian? cuz no one laught at his jokes.... and lived

[AnimaniacFox]

Jeusus Walked on Water, Chuck Norris can not.

This is a fact, because water runs away from Chuck when he goes to the beach.

[xM4MACx]

chuck norris can sleep with your wife and you'er be proud to raise his kid

[motlencore89]

Go onto Google Translator

Type : WIll Chuck Norris Never Die?

Translate it to Vietnamese

Copy the VIetnamese phrase and convert it back to english and laugh

it should read : Chuck Norris will Never Die.

[5468295]

@motlencore89 that's scary i tried it!! :O

[ThatGuyIKnew]

Some kids piss there names in snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name on concrete

[MrSamster911]

@ThatGuyIKnew he then survives for three days off the concrete

[Brandon33akahk]

Chuck norris once oh shit Chuck is here he said i lower cased the n in his last name ima gt round house kickd in 3 2 ffjsfgshjnsnbdgfsfsfrewfrsfdds­fgrewttrsdafggfhjnbjhuidssjusw

[crystalthebeutiful]

llooooooooooolllllllllllllll haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[odysseasX]

Chuck Norris can burn fire.

Chuck Norris' dog picks up poop by itself, because Chuck Norris will not take a shit by anyone.

Superman owns pajamas of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' shoes have the same color that your blood has.

[QUAKE495]

Spider man's spider sense is really activated when Chuck Norris is near, so spidey knows when to run.

[rossyboy108]

if bruce lee were still alive everyone would be makin tough jokes about him and not huck norris

[QUAKE495]

@rossyboy108 You spelled "chuck" wrong. You better run before he finds you.

[motlencore89]

@rossyboy108 Bruce Lee was the greatest fighter that ever lived, Chuck Norris is just plain out badass.

[rmack1205]

chuck norris once punched someone so hard it ripped a hole in the universe

[catkiller1239]

fucking gay ass jokes this bitch uploaded..... it makes no fucking sense

[catkiller1239]

fucking gay ass jokes this bitch uploaded..... it makes no fucking sense!

[rmack1205]

@catkiller1239 these arent jokes these are FACTS