Lee Mack - Live At The Apollo - 12/09/05 - Part 3 of 3

[MsYodaBomb]

"look at me I'm a chocolate biscuit!" HAHAHAHAHAH

[lindsaytoday]

so true about the Aussie adverts. i mute the tv when they come on because it's gets annoying sitting there having someone yell at you like they're mental! and they do it for everything no,matter what they're advertising! lol!

[thebluequiche1]

excellent video. IF You like comedy and arty fiolms then check out my site at thebluequiche1 where i have comedy and festivals including Michael Mcintyre.

[tuneys65]

just turned on the captions and put the subtitles on and that can't understand him. I can though i'm northern.

[0nannette]

TALENTED LEE, DEFINITELY HAS A BIT OF THE ERIC MORECAMBE GENIUS IN HIM.

[LolitaMiyuki]

He looks fantastic with glasses...

[ZytosMerna]

Best comedian ever. :D

[OneZaynDirection]

"WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT, WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL-LIKEEE!? .. total legend.

[jaiandharry97]

She has legs but she has no legs

[ZenDragon240]

8:00 WHAT IS AIR

[michaelaby]

8.37 RETARDED SEAL CLAP.

[2911nims]

That French perfume bit made me cry with laughter...

[SScomedian]

i was having a really crappy day and now i can go to sleep laughing cheers

[iamdb1990]

"i'm getting.... pissed"

"you say B, Y, O, we say, good guess, but the question was how do you spell boy"

"if i said to you 'shitat fitango', you'd probably say to me, 'excessive rear-end flange injection and overly keen knocking valve'... no, i'd say, 'has it got a cup holder, would it make birds touch me cock?'"

"WHAT DOES IT FUCKIN' SMELL LIKE!?" LOL!

BEST COMEDIAN EVER

[Joshuaaa2008]

'lindl'

'lindl? where you from mordor' :L pisser!

[ridekink17]

there are obviously 54 blind dead disabled monkey's out there

[TheUncleWilliam]

"so, obviously, i didnt want to fail me test" roflmfao

[1xlottiex1]

im getting ah .. pissed

[purplekid777]

"Has he got a kind face?"

[raverdave123]

Look at me im a Chocolate Biscuit!!

[LloydeeBaggs]

the dislike bar is the size of the dislikers penis'

[Zanian19]

@LloydeeBaggs Aww, you poor guy. You think the length of the likes-bar is big for a penis don't you? There there.

[NenNenHatake]

What does it FUCKING smmeeelllll LIIKKEEEEEEE?

[redranger241]

WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT, WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL LIKE!??! lmfao

[TheHypeaversion]

''if i said to you shit out for tango youd probably say to me excesive rear end flange injection and overly kean knocking valves''

[CoffeeBlack111]

look at me im chocolate biscuits!!!

[johnrmorris]

at 0.26, he's like a fish out of water...pmsl !!!

[Zscheesus]

"I'm gettin' aah...pissed"

[connorhankey]

the new audie doodie its quicker than walking an you wont have to sit next to a poor person on the bus :L

[IrishLad2k11]

Why do people quote what's just been said in the video in the comments :L

[IrishLad2k11]

Why does everyone quote what the comedians just after saying in the comments of there videos :L

[MrOmgwtfWaffles]

The French Perfume sketch was my English homework. We had to do an aftershave/perfume advert. 

[misscherrymoose20]

WHAT DOES SHE FUCKING SMELL LIKE?!

a dead monkey?

[anniechippie]

0:36 transcribe audio. Where do they get "ship knows that" from?

[BeccaKatyCat]

MY ARSE IS MADE OUT OF CORNFLAKES & I INVENTED THE SNOT SAUSAGE .. BUY A SHED OF ME

[weidrake]

"And I know that I want her. Because she is what she is. And what she is is a blind dead disabled monkey" XDXDXDXD

[connorhankey]

pastys, by ginsters

[abigailsID]

OMG i love u Lee

[connorhankey]

Look at me am a choclate biscuite

[Liibbyyyy]

I started laughing hysterically and my mum was like "what...?" then i showed her. now she keeps quoting it. fml... -.-

Lee mack is a legend! :D

[LiamDoyle9]

look at me im a chocolate biscuit HAHA

[googly1245]

Eye' see er'. On beach. Shes gotit. In er' and'. Its a pie. Eye' luv' pies. I go orver'. But eye see itsch not a pie. Itsch schmaller. And inschide its got pees,nd' carrots and GRaaVyY. Nd' eye noo that eye want it cuz it is watitis. And its, Pasties.....

[rkmmrheb1]

I agree

[chrisbreen11111]

I hate that girl who is moody all the way thru over 1 comment..

But still funniest thing evah

"WHAT DOES IT F***ING SMELL LIKE"

LOL

[cermorgan123]

i got a confession to make tonight, i'm drinking and driving.... fuck em! hahahaha

[Pastechi1]

ITS A DEAD DISABLED MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[supersheep23]

The Australian ad was priceless

[chrisbreen11111]

LOL... Makes no sanse at all! But is SOOOO funny!

[blearghp]

OMG!! I'M LAUGHING SO DAMN FUCKING HARD!!!

[djboydanny]

fucking top class!!!

[smithytri89]

"Look at me i'm a chocolate biscuit!" LOL!

[WiiillyxD]

I see her, on a beach, shes got it, in her hand, its a pie, i love pies, i go over, but wait its not a pie, its like a pie, but its smaller and it got peas n carrots n gravy n mince, and i know that i want it, cause it is what it is, and what it is, is pasties by ginster...

Literally laughed for 10minutes XD

[jcarson419]

She is a blind deaf disabled monkey :D love this guy !

[cadburymonkey]

Bloody brilliant!! Lol

[ThisIsAshleysVideos]

lee mack is the best comedian ;3

[lubzbie]

cried with laughter :')

iloveyouleemack :3

[Lahrio]

"What does it fucking smell likeeeee?" Best line ever! :D

[MrDaveDitchett]

BOOM

[inthefurnace]

his aussie accent is pretty good.

[angleisthebest]

Hahah Lee Mack = fucking witty comedy legend.

[somisled]

The best stand up you'll see. Full stop.

[Fwoomble]

Brilliant! thank you so much for uploading.

[TheFerretStealer]

LOOK AT ME IMA CHOCOLATE BISCUIT o.O

[Teed16chappers]

His*

[toxicdude07]

i bought hes dvd an it was really good,so thought id jus check see some of hes other stuff an seems hes just using the exact same material. 8 ( he needs to write some new shit hes like a robot,great memory tho.

[MrVanhelsing009]

I`m John Shed

[MrCheeseyEggs]

And i gotta knife, ill stab you in face <3

[allmine9]

Love his stand up and LOVE him on Not Going Out...hes a nutter and i love it.

[forridersofsatan]

what did he say when he smacked the back of his neck???

[boxyman2]

@forridersofsatan he says arsenal

[blobymr092]

He's like a fish out of water.

Is he finding it hard to adjust?

No he's dead! .... hahahaahha

[0de2Joy]

WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL LIKE!?

Hahahahahaha. Ahh I love Lee

[missmandy117]

Drinking and driving... Fuck um

[fryer234]

has he got a kind face

[xXSoY9yOXx]

how can anyone NOT like lee mack you mad mad people!!!

[Rodwin1980]

Bloody Outstanding!

[welshdragon182]

I pissed myseld at the french perfume joke

[imdoingit09]

wish out of water =D hahaha

[Joshuaaa2008]

lindel where you from mordor !

[porkbeast3000]

french perfume bit is his best ever hahahahahaha

[thumpic89]

the best comedian around for years

[scottabbs10]

hows grandad getting on? oooh hes like a fish out of water.....

is he finding it hard to adjust?

no he's dead... :L LOL

[stuey909]

Theellielovato he says pikie not paki

[TheEllieLovato]

on the original one he doesnt say "its quicker than walking and you dont have to sit next to a poor person on the bus" he says "its quicker than walking and you dont have to sit next to a paki on the bus"

[robcowleydnb]

@TheEllieLovato No he doesn't, he says "pikey".

[YodaWill4]

LOL

[Dan070]

I see her, I want her, she is, what she is, she sees, but she is blind, she has legs, but she has no legs, she is alive, but she is dead, she is a woman, but she is a monkey and I know that I want her because she is what she is and what she is, is a blind, dead, disabled monkey...

[JAMES1992E]

im getting .. argh ... pissed! .... lmao!!!!

[mikecope1313]

i dont even get how you can do a half hour show and have every single joke be as funny as he makes them... not one joke falls flat.. him and ricky gervais crack me up like no others business!!!

[phillipzchillz]

50 people are blind, dead, disabled monkeys.

Luuuuuuurve Lee Mack <3

[misskirsty1998]

funny fuck

[darrenhamrye]

50 people are idiots

[CanineFaeces]

I like drinking and driving. I always feel proud when I wake up with blood on the bonnet (hood for yanks).

[TH3USUALSUSPECT]

blind dead disabled monkey

[TH3USUALSUSPECT]

I'm not taking any chances hahahah!

[MaskofMystery]

over 657,000 views and only just over 2,000 of them could be bothered to click the 'like' button!

[SusanM1995]

*french accent* She's a blind dead disabled monkey.. omg i couldn't breathe and and fell out of my chair lol so hard that i lost my voice... is that possible? YES.

[dan52wdc]

i am a crippled blind disabled monkey and that is offenceive

but it is so fucking funny

[21scorpio16]

who dislike this vid omg come ppl

[TubsyPorkins]

look at me, i'm a chocolate biscuit!

[X6herbius]

2010th like!

[gloomyoutlook]

we don't say bank holiday :3

[purplekid777]

this guy is genuinely one of the best comedians ive seen :)

[1994liverpoolrule]

I want this on DVD :-)

[Stainymor]

"Lindel? Where you from? Mordor?" Haha :D

[berryboy2006]

@Stainymor i didnt understand that joke :S

[Stainymor]

@berryboy2006 It was simply because the way he said it rhymed :)

[AaronZekeChickenBoy]

@berryboy2006 Mordor is a place in the Lord of the Rings, so he's joking that her name sounds like a hobbits

[Whatupwidat]

Angel Delight!

[timberland1]

Where're ya from? Mordor?

[harryfmk]

@FlumblesMum I think that story could win an Oscar, if you were played by Angelina Jolie and everyone who listens to the story is played by people with their ears sewn shut.

[harryfmk]

@FlumblesMum Indeed, there is no need. But I can't help it. I am disabled. I'm sure you tell awesome stories from time to time.

[samevans1122]

oh, im sorry, u didnt c any of tht. lmao

[amylove999]

he looks good in the glasses 

[sepheroth696]

look at me im a chocolate biscuit XD

[xxsteweyxx]

haha wen hes goin on bout jeremy clarkson :D

[xxsteweyxx]

Lindel? Where ye from,mordor? LMAO (Y)

[slothjr666]

he forgot his beer when he left :O

[Scottinho90]

"WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL LIKEEEE" ahahaaaa

[JRBouncerz2010]

@Scottinho90 It smells like a blind, dead, disabled, monkey of course.

[FlumblesMum]

That's a pretty awesome reaction he gets from the audience at the end (as he leaves).

[Zork1915]

Lol, does he say "Arsenal" at 4:14? Whats that about hahah

Lee Mack is awesome!

[slaxwell55]

@Zork1915 He was doin an impression of Eric Morecombe(from Morecombe & Wise) Eric used to do that..

[Zork1915]

@slaxwell55

Eric Morecombe used to say Arsenal? hahah :P

[DannyFox06]

mmm a fine bouquet. I'm getting... mmm... pissed.

[ImBringing30Back]

Think I've just developed a small crush on Lee Mack...

[phebemallien]

hahahahha this guy is too fucking funny!

[fowad27]

lee mack should be the new james bond

[fcfcbarcafcfc]

I love it when people can laugh at theirselfs

[effingya]

it would be interesting if someone could engineer a comedic festival where british, australian, american, irish, and canadian comedic perspectives could be combined and compared

[Riverhorse555]

she said "here's five pounds but don't tell your mother" I said "why not" and she say "it's hers". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[theshmendrik1]

I see her, I want her, She is what she is, She sees, But she's blind, She has legs, but she have no legs, She is alive, But she is dead, She is a woman, But she is a monkey, But i want her because she is what she is, And what she is a blind disable monkey...... What are you all about? WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL LIKE?!????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?HAHAHA­HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA LOL!!! XD

[007hor]

@theshmendrik1, It's actually "What are you on about?" not "what are you all about".

[Supernaturalxxxxxx]

@theshmendrik1 Funniest thing EVER!!

[Teed16chappers]

@theshmendrik1 has* because* blind dead disabled monkey* on*

[theshmendrik1]

You know how many people die out of drinking and driving? 500 hahahahahahahhah

[shaaytee]

the french perfume part cracks me uuuuup hahahaha! 

[erazordjinn]

Does he remind anyone else of Eric Morcambe?

[fowad27]

@erazordjinn who?

[Lemons180]

LOOOOOL @ the perfume advert!! =D

[Danism1992]

"And what she is, is a blind dead disabled monkey..."

The day a perfume comes on tv advertising that I'm buying it XD

[MeLissABakEr11]

lol its funny when he takes her glassess :D

[acquiesce67]

A fine bouqet... I'm getting... pissed.

[somisled]

The best full stop.

[Avarhilien]

He should so do commercials.

[125eskimo]

look at me im a choccolate biscuit haha

[dinoboyjp123]

She is a blind, dead, disabled Monkey! HA HA!!!

[MrsNickJonasAlways14]

I'm John shed and I've gone shed mental in shed world. 33% off a shed am I insane? Of course I'm insane I'm John shed, my arse is made out of cornflakes and I invented the small sausage by a fuckin' shed off me. I'm John shed.

[MrsNickJonasAlways14]

"I must have been chasing that little fucker through that field for 45 minutes before I ran over its head and he still failed me"

"Lindl? Where you from Mordor?"

HAHA "Arsenal"

4:40 - 5:15 hilarious

[Reakesie23]

@MrsNickJonasAlways14

Why does he say Arsenal? lol

[MrsNickJonasAlways14]

@Reakesie23 It's to do with football

[Reakesie23]

@MrsNickJonasAlways14 I knew that....Just referring to what exactly?

[lvrpl09]

lindell? where you from mordor?

[kingleebethell1]

has it got a cup holder and will it make girls touch my cock FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kingleebethell1]

whats he doin whats that noice? has he got a kind face (Y) ha ha ha ha

[SofJae]

WHAT DOES IT FUCKING SMELL LIKE?!?!?

LMFAO!

[TheLunaFace]

she is a blind dead disabled monkey lmao

[reddexred]

" look at me am a chocolate biscuit" lol

[MsDeejay92]

"i'm getting ... pissed." hahahah!

[RobbCurtiss80]

Shouting, look at me im a chocolate biscuit! lmfao

[xmaster2]

It might be wrong to say this, but he looks a million times hotter with glasses. Has that ... sexy teacher look. :D

[xxsteweyxx]

@xmaster2 too right ;)

[goldendrago]

ish a pie, ah love pie.

[gweb8]

wot does he mean wen he slaps his head and says arsenal 4:04????????????

[balthazaa2001]

@gweb8 Its an Eric Morcambe impersonation - and quite a good one - but I dont know why Eric Morcambe used to do it.

[Reakesie23]

@gweb8 Thats what i wanna know!

[krissyj18]

and av got a knife ill stab u in the face (Y)

[helenaturner]

good quality

[JORDIxRx]

Hi Im John Trifle, and am I going crazy? Course I'm going crazy, I live in a mental institute..

[missshellyboo]

I'm getting errr...pisssed :D

[SuzyS85]

Would Lee know the Chaser's Crazy Warehouse Guy? :D

[jackroby93]

LOOK AT ME IM A CHOLATE BISICUT

[wurzygon]

saw lee mack last night at the empire in liverpool, funniest night of my life, he is getting better & better. Lee Evans was out on his own a few years ago, Lee Mack is the man now.

[Jessmo198]

I have never gotten over the blind dead disabled monkey thing since the first time I saw it :D

[guitarpro1231]

same