what part, of all that you describe, is not being normal? omgosh, do we really need labels to give ourselves permission for our narcissism and constant self-focus?
@gamergal08 1. You have no clue who I am, or what I do with the majority of my time, and therefore cannot even begin to make judgement on what I am like - especially to the trollish degree you attempt.
2. If you think the things I described in this video (and the following videos in this series) are normal, then you don't know what normal is.
@TheAnMish A genius in a room full of idiots is a weirdo. Why should that concern the genius?
It's not your fault the kindergarten staff lacked the teaching/social skills to explain that the thing with the bread was a largely pointless social norm and would you please go along with the ritualized foolishness to save a lot of fuss and bother. I don't know about you but that would have worked for me even in kindergarten.
I never put my bread down between bites, I also think there's no logic in it so RESPECT!!! :P Also, thank you for talking about those things. I am a teacher of an autistic kindergardener and that video helped a lot in understanding the way he things. I would like to hear more from you as you give an insight look of things that is unique! Again, thank you!
wowww, I'm going to watch EVERY ONE of your vids. This is so my son, who is now 20. I think he really noticed in kindergarten too! I'm going to have him watch this. He is not diagnosed except with learning disability, anxiety and depression.. but I'm quite sure he is an aspie from everything I've been reading in the last year. THANK YOU for making these videos.
I always knew that he did things differently.. and I love that about him. He's amazing!! The kindest,smartest person I know :)))
Several months ago, I was introduced to the word "asperger's" and I can't tell you how many of my memories feel into place. Everything makes sense now. I'm 26 and really wish the diagnosis had been made when I was a child. Things may have been easier. But I can't thank you (and people like you) enough for sharing your experiences. Most people around me don't understand, and I feel a lot less alone. It's very refreshing and reassuring to find others who seem to relate to my own difficulties.
As a child, I also mostly hung around adults. Not being able to relate to anyone my own age plus a generalized social anxiety made interactions exhausting. I also only kept one friend at a time, but it never left school. I never had friends outside of school or even at birthday parties or anything like that. I spent recesses walking around by myself. My mom thought it was sad, but it wansn't to me. I was fine not being a part of what anyone else was doing. Socializing felt forced & stressful.
I spent nursery playing darts - we had this today dartboard and some plastic toy darts made of sticky matting, and I played that all day every day not talking to the other kids, wanting to be alone and because I couldn't talk until I was three or four anyway. I'm being tested for Asperger's in two days time and I'm sure I have it. Recollections like these have helped.
Thank you so much for sharing your recollections of school life with us! I am a learning specialist and will include portions of your clips in my next workshop. Your experiences are a very powerful example of what teachers should be aware of so they can help students with Asperger's avoid the pain you experienced. Thank you for putting beautifully into words the feelings and thinking behind the behaviors we see so often in the classroom. Your videos will be helping so many other children.
Very interesting - I have similar recollections about early years, especially having one intense friend. When I came across the word 'eccentric' I grabbed it as It made being odd sound quite cool. Always I felt uncomfortable with groups and often did things which they thought strange and laughable.
I know this is a bit behind cause your video is from august but i sat watching your video thinking - eh? am I meant to put my food down, I always eat bread, pizza etc holding it in my hand, I never put it back on the plate, and I am 31 now, its things like that that say it all lol
What I remember about being autistic in kindergarten is being separated because I didn't feel comfortable. I preferred being by my self.. The meltdowns weren't fun...
I didn't have any friends at school. Just one friend that lived a few houses down.. She thought like me and we didn't get on each others nerves. It seemed like we could read each other, which was strange as I couldn't do that with anyone else. We both had meltdowns when we couldn't be with each other.
I sometimes pick at my skin a lot and fidget. I talk to myself a lot and laugh. I don't like watching emotional movies around certain people but it doesn't matter if I'm alone. I'm just not as guarded I guess you can say. I know most neurotypical people are like that as well but I just know that I'm different. I just have a lot of compulsions that I cover up.
I love your videos by the way, you're a very beautiful and intelligent woman! I think I might have high functioning aspergers syndrome. I have most of the symptoms. I know I always had some kind of developmental delays growing up anyway. I have a question, I don't know if you'll feel comfortable answering or not. When you're not out in society and you're by yourself, do you have any "weird" compulsions that you don't bother hiding as if you were out in society. I kind of do.
I am slightly envious, AnMish. ;) The boys in kindergarten through 2nd grade wouldn't leave me alone many times. I also knew that I was different. I always knew. I understood what the other kids were doing, but it seemed very 'trivial' to me. I imagined the playground as a dozen different adventures. Tag was boring in comparison. But one girl in first grade actually let me SHOW her my 'world' one day. I guess I felt special at that point and no longer weird. I wish I could still thank her.
One very distinct phrase that i caught "because they let me be the outsider..." An important concept that i lived through as well. At a certain point people more or less forced me to do stuff with other kids, not understanding that someone could want to be a loner. well i dont blame em, how could someone have understood 15-20 yrs ago
I remember having a very distinct notion that I was...different from the other kids at that age too. I also remember the other kids in my class being told off for not playing with me by our teacher, who hadnt bothered to find out if I wanted to play with these girls...I didnt. I wanted to be by myself and rubbing weeds on the wall because it turned the wall green and I liked that.
Haha, this reminded me of Kindergarten a bit. I can remember eating glue and telling the kids that it was edible (sweet tasting) and they didn't believe me and all the girls at my craft table raised their hands and told on me! I was reprimanded for eating Elmer's Glue, haha ! "He's eating GLUUUUE -- EWWWW"
When I was younger, (and even now) I prefer being with adults rather than other people my age. I've heard this is a common aspie thing, do you know why? x
@TheAnMish I have aspergers too, and that's exactly why I prefer being with older adults. Young people my age are more spasmodic, histrionic and unpredictable than older people. Also, there is better chance I won't be dragged into making small-talk - the bete-noire of all aspies (may heaven preserve us from small talk)!
@LABarbiexoxo Same here except I wanted to be around people my (or around my) age when I'm in the mood to have fun. When I'm in a chilling mood, that's when I want to be around mature people (not necessarily adults but even people around my age with a mature attitude).
@LABarbiexoxo I think it's cuz adults are more patient and they challenge us intellectually. Also...adults around us are educators, or your parents. They are extra-patient people. I don't actually like most adults now that i am one I don't actually like adults. Kids are more predictable....call me a modernist.
yeah, i remember feeling more comfortable with my teachers than any one else at school, i think it's because i feel like they always understood me better than any one my own age ever could AND I felt I could understand them a lot more than i could understand my peers.
I too stuck to all of my teachers like glue (One teacher for all subjects each year on kindergarten and primary school). Then one teacher for secondary school and university. I was afraid of children, so I didn't like them, and I still don't. Stuck to one good friend and stuck with them through all the years. But generally they are too unpredictable and busy. As always all that you said and felt was the same for me. Thanks for sharing, makes me feel better! Wishing you well! :)
I see you are Aspie. As one myself, I wonder, do you ever ponder the confirmation bias that comes prone to reflecting on memories? I have many such memories myself. In fact many such memories have been an "oh, yeah" moment, snapping context-less eccentricities into place within a new mind model. Yet my mind never gives them sufficient value to remain self-fastidious. I am always thinking how each event might mean something different. I avoid self-paradigms. I do not anchor. I'm not sure why.
Please dont take that joke as patronising.. I love your videos. I also agree with medhue, even though its quite aspie to lock on to spelling and grama I would much prefer to discuss and read about the actual topic "aspergers & growing up". Hence my subtle attempt to change the subject back and refocus under the guise of humour. I did aquired one friend in preschool for the purpose of helping me escape, we tried to run to the beach together. Looking forward to the next vid in the series. =)
"kinda-guarding." -The first year of primary school in Australia, it takes place at primary school and the next year is called year one. Instead, pre-school is where children go before primary school in Australia. We also ride trained service-kangaroo's to school instead of dangerous school buses. I hated those nasty teachers who were always kinda-gaurding me, some children would train thier own service-kangaroo's to protect them from the kinda-gaurders.
@TheAnMish No problem. I've since elected to get out of the internet drama for good and my most recent video is all about my decision and why I'm doing it.
I find it remarkable that TheAnMish sits down and makes a very personal video and so many focus on a gosh darn spelling of a word. In fact, so much so, that people actually voted up these comments. Seriously people! It is seriously ridiculous. What a waiste of time and energy. @TheAnMish - you should just ignore this kind of stuff from overly obsessive people. Plus, it would save people like me a lot of time not having to read BS.
@MNISHM Most of my videos get a few thumbs down.. though for some reason, there are never any comments about why (except when there are hateful, demeaning, sexist or otherwise inappropriate comments, in which case I can mostly guess why)..
was there anything special about the bread or the event? i mean, i can't really understand why they would bother you about not putting it down, other than the fact that they were kindergartners. it's not a neurotypical thing to do, it's just childish.
I remember when I was little we spelled and pronounced it kindergarden then eventually it became kindergarten. If I can remember well I think my teacher said it's just the same?
@TheAnMish Kindergarten (German, literally means "children's garden"), also known as Kindergarden by some individuals, is a form of education for young children that serves as a transition from home to the commencement of more formal schooling.
Perhaps there's a diffretiation in English spelling from country to country (I'm in America)?
@myhitsugaya10 It's possible that different english speaking countries spell it differently.. it is that way with other words - theater/theatre, program/programme.. But it's also very possible that I was taught something wrong.
@TheAnMish The English must be doing it wrong. It's Kindergarten in Ohio, USA.
It's a little like a road near me that used to be called "Deutsch Road" but then someone who likely thought the street name was spelled wrong came along, and changed the road to "Dutch Road."
@TheAnMish hmm I'm not so sure, I'm from an english speaking country, and am a teacher of young children, it's spelled "Kindergarten" here only. Also a Kindergarten here caters only for children between the ages of 3 to 5 years of age. I think it varies from place to place.
Im excited to see this series continue =). I went to a handfull of pre-schools but I remember one more than the others, coincidentally it was the one I escaped from. Whenever we went inside I got angry, the teachers would get the kids to take a nap but I was never tired, they would all have milk and cookies but I just hated it. I wasnt tired and didnt want to eat. The pre-school would be silent with kids all sleeping inside, while I was supervised outside on the swing sets conspiring my escape.
I don't have to many memories of kindergarden myself. I remember some of the people. There was a kid named Scooter who put coins over his eyes. The smart boy, i forget his name, with the oblong head who I used to think had a computer for a brain. And the gym teacher with those tennis shoes with the little pink cotton bunny tail on them. I also remember that my aunt was a teacher there, that was cool for awhile lol. see, now i'm starting to remember things but there is limited space to type! :O
Oh,I forgot: the only thing I would eat there during lunch was a special brand of pudding I brought with me from home. (It was forbidden for kids to bring their own food.) And of that pudding I only ate the semolina part, not the "delicious" fruit sauce that was in the corner. I was loved for giving it away.
My obession at that time were the spinning brushes of carwashes. My grandfather's present on my third birthday was watching those things spin for three full hours. Now ain't that odd?
On my first days of kindergarten I had quite a hard time to adjust, since this environment seemed so alien and frightening to me. For example the whole lining up in pairs thing when doing a trip was unnatural to me. I hardly approached other kids and hadn't it been for some girls and kindergarteneres I'd never played with any of them.
It was there that I first had this famous feeling of being different.
Needless to say that I didn't enjoyed being there very much, so there were days when I simply refused to go. I can remember my reasoning for this very well: at home there were much more possible activities for me that I would enjoy more than anything there. They had only the most primitive legos and nothing that I built there would last the day since the other kids would destroy it. That the whole point of it was playing with the other kids didn't occured to me,
Usually I had to stay there during the forenoon and that seemed tolerable. But when my parents didn't come at the usual time, the kindergarteners didn't enjoyed me staying there. That was for sure. I didn't want to make a scene and to "hurt" things by throwing them around, so I just staged it, as a means to get home, where I belonged.
I used to hear my aunts and parents talking about that I were around adults too much and
that I had to mingle more with kids my age. Thus they came up with the brilliant idea of sending me to some place with many kids during the day in the holidays. The first day was shocking for me, the second shocking for them. I couldn't endure this any longer. Too many children, too loud, too unpredictable. Nothing for me. Get me out of here. Man, was I difficult! (But only when treated as a "normal child")
Me and My son who is now 8 yrs old with Aspergers did a lot of the same things during Kindy. My biggest memory was collecting and becoming obsessed with matchbox cars and those little NFL football helmets and sports cards and playing basketball alone for hours, I still play alone it relaxes me even as an adult . I also had early fear of the lunchroom that continued on all through High School. The Fear was overwhelming in Middle School and High School I avoided any group gathering all together.
@AdamGLewis A lot of the stupid human behaviours are much the same, about sex or status (which is used to get more attractive sexual partners). Like driving a Hummer with bling. Conspicuous consumption shows the ability to provide. Flaunting the law is similar. Behaviour and the background situation is much bigger than body language, which is much bigger than words. I agree, it's stupid how it works... but it is what it is.
@AdamGLewis But do consider we are social creatures! Not being able to innately pick up on social queues is certainly not more advanced. Society does a lot of things that appear stupid from a logical perspective, until you realize there is another logical reason for the behaviour. A male peacock has huge tail feathers that make him easy to spot for predators, and hard to escape, but his ability to have a nice display of feathers and to survive the handicap is sexually attractive to the females.
@AdamGLewis I know here in North America, people wouldn't even think about it. Only talking with food in your mouth is considered rude. In formal occasions, it may be proper to not speak with food or utensils in your hand, but it's not every day I dine with the Queen.
@AdamGLewis Are aspies just ultra smart? Certainly not. As a group, aspies have a higher average IQ, but that says nothing about the individual. Aspies tend to be specialists. We usually get fixated on something, and either through innate talent or obsession become an expert in that area. I think this is why TheAnMish comes across as normal to the unaware. Countless years of practice will do that. It was after 11 years of practice that someone actually said I was more "normal" than someone else.
@AdamGLewis After a while, I realized that fitting in isn't everything. I've accepted I never will completely. It's still a problem if you break the important rules. I'll never be cool, but I have some awesome talents others envy. TheAnMish has the voice of an angel. She is also an engaging speaker, a testament to the hard work she's done learning to interact with others. She inspires me and countless others.
@AdamGLewis I can't speak for TheAnMish directly, but as an aspie myself, I certainly feel the need to fit in. We are human, and we are social creatures. We do want to belong. We try. It's just exhausting thinking about the social rules and guessing at the bits of those rules we haven't yet defined. It's like playing chess while talking. We come across as "different" because we haven't mastered the social rules. We often inadvertently cross the line, but less so as time goes on.
@AdamGLewis It is a problem socially. Being smart and logical is great, but if you're unable to pick up on the rules, and unable to figure out when and how to break those rules, when the rules change, you don't fit in. Social interaction is filled with subtle nuance. It's like learning a new language, but much harder, since the rules of a language are generally well defined. And you constantly have to think about seeing and expressing body language, emotion, etc., while having a conversation.
I didn't know I was supposed to put my bread down between bites until you just told me, and I'm almost 43. Thank You. I actually do care about my table manners. That ones about as silly as keeping your elbows of the table.
In retrospect I was damn lucky with my early elementary school years. Even though I was blatantly different in a lot of ways the kids I went to school with really did go out of their way to keep me included.
Yeah, I have only had a maximum of one friendship at a time for my entire life. It's hard for me to manage many friendships at the same time. I need lots of 'down time.' SO, I can relate to your kindergarten experiances.
What is so funny is that I'm 36 and still don't know that you suppose to put your fork down until you just said it. It was and is so much more efficient to do it the way we do it. Ohhh, I'm learning everyday something different about me.
@coda623 in my mind... because they were told to, orders don;t have to make sense, they simply are, and people with little flexibility or no idea to question why are the masses of sheep i watch everyday in the world, because it easier to do as you're told without question... I got my AS from being a forces brat, orders were always around, but i was taught to question them, and that is more logical to me.
@Badgerbitesback You don't get AS from experiences in life. It's inherited, normally from the father (although the mother can also pass it on). You're born with it.
@coda623 Well... as the person with AS that i am, i choose to make my own mind up and i have found that many of the kids like me who were born on a barracks tend to show the same lack of skills at integrating with civvies, i do not then assume that we're all damned from birth, hence why i believe it is in fact a learnt disorder from lack of experience with people or not being taught the skill you need, others say its because i had the MMR but i tell them where to stick it.
@coda623 But please sir, i believe in what i believe, do not assume to tell me I'm wrong because its not what you think... I'll discuss things with you but i will never tell you you're wrong, do me the same courtesy please.
@Badgerbitesback I can understand why you would believe that. It actually makes quite a lot of sense to me. I'm not going to say what I'm about to say because I think you're wrong, but because I'm trying to build off your theory. Maybe you were born with VERY mild AS, so minor it's virtually unnoticeable, but experiences in life have caused your AS to show itself more. Seems like an interesting thing to look into, but I'm probably wrong anyway lol.
@coda623 i was only diagnosed by accident at college when i was 17 and 9 months... and i never said you were wrong, i just asked you not to tell me I'm wrong. :)
I also have some memories from preschool. I would always be off doing something other kids weren't doing during free time. I just didn't like to do things with other kids all that much. After kindergarten, I just settled on thinking I was weird, like you did. Then in my first year of high school last year my German teacher was talking about Albert Einstein and we came across the fact that he had AS and she went into detail about the disorder. I finally found a possible explanation at age 14
I had about half a friend in kindergarten. He was more like someone I tried to hang out with. And there was also a girl I was friends with in kindergarten but she moved multiple states away the summer after kindergarten. I don't remember being a complete outcast, but I do remember not having many friends and eventually in the coming few years, I realized I was weird. I just didn't think about it too much in kindergarten.
I too preferred adult friends and only had 1 friend of whom I trusted fully. he was two grades lower than me. I also had select adults, cause some still behaved much as the immature kids around my own age group.
ok, you ARE special, i'll give you that =D
gamergal08 1 week ago
what part, of all that you describe, is not being normal? omgosh, do we really need labels to give ourselves permission for our narcissism and constant self-focus?
gamergal08 1 week ago
@gamergal08 1. You have no clue who I am, or what I do with the majority of my time, and therefore cannot even begin to make judgement on what I am like - especially to the trollish degree you attempt.
2. If you think the things I described in this video (and the following videos in this series) are normal, then you don't know what normal is.
/rant over
Have a nice day, and a nice life.
TheAnMish 1 week ago 3
@TheAnMish A genius in a room full of idiots is a weirdo. Why should that concern the genius?
It's not your fault the kindergarten staff lacked the teaching/social skills to explain that the thing with the bread was a largely pointless social norm and would you please go along with the ritualized foolishness to save a lot of fuss and bother. I don't know about you but that would have worked for me even in kindergarten.
nigelrhodes 1 week ago
Do you find that you have an unusually good long term memory and a bad short term memory?
Would you recommend that I read about interpersonal psychology? If so, anything specific?
(not necessarily books about asperger's syndrome)
Did you ever walk on your toes?
Is it normal for a person with asperger's syndrome to have problems with time management?
goblin1005 2 weeks ago
I never put my bread down between bites, I also think there's no logic in it so RESPECT!!! :P Also, thank you for talking about those things. I am a teacher of an autistic kindergardener and that video helped a lot in understanding the way he things. I would like to hear more from you as you give an insight look of things that is unique! Again, thank you!
metalanthi 3 weeks ago
Nice to know there are people posting about asperger syndrome
kanetaker56 3 weeks ago
@GrapeBubbleYumGum It's alright.. no worries :)
TheAnMish 3 weeks ago
@GrapeBubbleYumGum If you do.. then there's something very serious my parents never told me, because I only ever remember being a girl :D
TheAnMish 3 weeks ago 2
At first, I thought you were joking. No offence! :) You act so normal! :D
erewrwify 1 month ago in playlist More videos from TheAnMish
Why are you so pretty?
Bloodydigger 1 month ago
wowww, I'm going to watch EVERY ONE of your vids. This is so my son, who is now 20. I think he really noticed in kindergarten too! I'm going to have him watch this. He is not diagnosed except with learning disability, anxiety and depression.. but I'm quite sure he is an aspie from everything I've been reading in the last year. THANK YOU for making these videos.
I always knew that he did things differently.. and I love that about him. He's amazing!! The kindest,smartest person I know :)))
CristiansFriendMary 1 month ago
Several months ago, I was introduced to the word "asperger's" and I can't tell you how many of my memories feel into place. Everything makes sense now. I'm 26 and really wish the diagnosis had been made when I was a child. Things may have been easier. But I can't thank you (and people like you) enough for sharing your experiences. Most people around me don't understand, and I feel a lot less alone. It's very refreshing and reassuring to find others who seem to relate to my own difficulties.
STRANGEJAMES85 1 month ago
As a child, I also mostly hung around adults. Not being able to relate to anyone my own age plus a generalized social anxiety made interactions exhausting. I also only kept one friend at a time, but it never left school. I never had friends outside of school or even at birthday parties or anything like that. I spent recesses walking around by myself. My mom thought it was sad, but it wansn't to me. I was fine not being a part of what anyone else was doing. Socializing felt forced & stressful.
STRANGEJAMES85 1 month ago
I spent nursery playing darts - we had this today dartboard and some plastic toy darts made of sticky matting, and I played that all day every day not talking to the other kids, wanting to be alone and because I couldn't talk until I was three or four anyway. I'm being tested for Asperger's in two days time and I'm sure I have it. Recollections like these have helped.
TotteringHotspurs 1 month ago
Thank you so much for sharing your recollections of school life with us! I am a learning specialist and will include portions of your clips in my next workshop. Your experiences are a very powerful example of what teachers should be aware of so they can help students with Asperger's avoid the pain you experienced. Thank you for putting beautifully into words the feelings and thinking behind the behaviors we see so often in the classroom. Your videos will be helping so many other children.
TheFoxgloveFarm 2 months ago
Does it feel liberating to open yourself like this? You deserve an enormous amount of respect.
dajand8 2 months ago
Very interesting - I have similar recollections about early years, especially having one intense friend. When I came across the word 'eccentric' I grabbed it as It made being odd sound quite cool. Always I felt uncomfortable with groups and often did things which they thought strange and laughable.
kgs42 2 months ago
Why did you have to put the bread down between bites? Did you find out?
YouDabian 2 months ago in playlist Flere videoer fra TheAnMish
You're sooo pretty!
NewNewNewModelNo15 2 months ago
Gosh this sounds familiar.
TheLonelyImmortal 3 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos
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you are not alone.
rico46davis 3 months ago
I know this is a bit behind cause your video is from august but i sat watching your video thinking - eh? am I meant to put my food down, I always eat bread, pizza etc holding it in my hand, I never put it back on the plate, and I am 31 now, its things like that that say it all lol
aylaeve79 3 months ago
What I remember about being autistic in kindergarten is being separated because I didn't feel comfortable. I preferred being by my self.. The meltdowns weren't fun...
I didn't have any friends at school. Just one friend that lived a few houses down.. She thought like me and we didn't get on each others nerves. It seemed like we could read each other, which was strange as I couldn't do that with anyone else. We both had meltdowns when we couldn't be with each other.
cyclenut 4 months ago
At what age did your memory start?
Aspieborn 5 months ago
I used to play with everyone. I was just kind of a weird kid. I never ate glue, dirt, or bugs though.
JNathanK2011 5 months ago
lol @ kindergarden bread nazi
n33chisgod 6 months ago
I sometimes pick at my skin a lot and fidget. I talk to myself a lot and laugh. I don't like watching emotional movies around certain people but it doesn't matter if I'm alone. I'm just not as guarded I guess you can say. I know most neurotypical people are like that as well but I just know that I'm different. I just have a lot of compulsions that I cover up.
erinny2000 6 months ago
I love your videos by the way, you're a very beautiful and intelligent woman! I think I might have high functioning aspergers syndrome. I have most of the symptoms. I know I always had some kind of developmental delays growing up anyway. I have a question, I don't know if you'll feel comfortable answering or not. When you're not out in society and you're by yourself, do you have any "weird" compulsions that you don't bother hiding as if you were out in society. I kind of do.
erinny2000 6 months ago
I am slightly envious, AnMish. ;) The boys in kindergarten through 2nd grade wouldn't leave me alone many times. I also knew that I was different. I always knew. I understood what the other kids were doing, but it seemed very 'trivial' to me. I imagined the playground as a dozen different adventures. Tag was boring in comparison. But one girl in first grade actually let me SHOW her my 'world' one day. I guess I felt special at that point and no longer weird. I wish I could still thank her.
RigelHopeStar 6 months ago
I thought to be unique in these things, but i can reconigse in almost everything you said.
wybo2 6 months ago
One very distinct phrase that i caught "because they let me be the outsider..." An important concept that i lived through as well. At a certain point people more or less forced me to do stuff with other kids, not understanding that someone could want to be a loner. well i dont blame em, how could someone have understood 15-20 yrs ago
managarm1349 7 months ago
I remember having a very distinct notion that I was...different from the other kids at that age too. I also remember the other kids in my class being told off for not playing with me by our teacher, who hadnt bothered to find out if I wanted to play with these girls...I didnt. I wanted to be by myself and rubbing weeds on the wall because it turned the wall green and I liked that.
thebestwillow 7 months ago
Haha, this reminded me of Kindergarten a bit. I can remember eating glue and telling the kids that it was edible (sweet tasting) and they didn't believe me and all the girls at my craft table raised their hands and told on me! I was reprimanded for eating Elmer's Glue, haha ! "He's eating GLUUUUE -- EWWWW"
Antreus 7 months ago
When I was younger, (and even now) I prefer being with adults rather than other people my age. I've heard this is a common aspie thing, do you know why? x
LABarbiexoxo 7 months ago 18
@LABarbiexoxo I think it's because younger people tend to be noisier, and more confusing to be around.. adults are less drama-like..
I don't know of course, but I think that's why :)
TheAnMish 7 months ago 16
@TheAnMish I have aspergers too, and that's exactly why I prefer being with older adults. Young people my age are more spasmodic, histrionic and unpredictable than older people. Also, there is better chance I won't be dragged into making small-talk - the bete-noire of all aspies (may heaven preserve us from small talk)!
AchillesShield 2 months ago
Comment removed
RaiZuka92 5 months ago
@LABarbiexoxo Same here except I wanted to be around people my (or around my) age when I'm in the mood to have fun. When I'm in a chilling mood, that's when I want to be around mature people (not necessarily adults but even people around my age with a mature attitude).
RaiZuka92 5 months ago
@LABarbiexoxo I think it's cuz adults are more patient and they challenge us intellectually. Also...adults around us are educators, or your parents. They are extra-patient people. I don't actually like most adults now that i am one I don't actually like adults. Kids are more predictable....call me a modernist.
YOWDEWED 1 month ago
yeah, i remember feeling more comfortable with my teachers than any one else at school, i think it's because i feel like they always understood me better than any one my own age ever could AND I felt I could understand them a lot more than i could understand my peers.
mmorery227 1 month ago
I too stuck to all of my teachers like glue (One teacher for all subjects each year on kindergarten and primary school). Then one teacher for secondary school and university. I was afraid of children, so I didn't like them, and I still don't. Stuck to one good friend and stuck with them through all the years. But generally they are too unpredictable and busy. As always all that you said and felt was the same for me. Thanks for sharing, makes me feel better! Wishing you well! :)
Kenjitsuka 7 months ago
I remember when you told the story about the bread
secretstream4 7 months ago
I see you are Aspie. As one myself, I wonder, do you ever ponder the confirmation bias that comes prone to reflecting on memories? I have many such memories myself. In fact many such memories have been an "oh, yeah" moment, snapping context-less eccentricities into place within a new mind model. Yet my mind never gives them sufficient value to remain self-fastidious. I am always thinking how each event might mean something different. I avoid self-paradigms. I do not anchor. I'm not sure why.
abyssquick 7 months ago
Please dont take that joke as patronising.. I love your videos. I also agree with medhue, even though its quite aspie to lock on to spelling and grama I would much prefer to discuss and read about the actual topic "aspergers & growing up". Hence my subtle attempt to change the subject back and refocus under the guise of humour. I did aquired one friend in preschool for the purpose of helping me escape, we tried to run to the beach together. Looking forward to the next vid in the series. =)
Lukeeastment 7 months ago
"kinda-guarding." -The first year of primary school in Australia, it takes place at primary school and the next year is called year one. Instead, pre-school is where children go before primary school in Australia. We also ride trained service-kangaroo's to school instead of dangerous school buses. I hated those nasty teachers who were always kinda-gaurding me, some children would train thier own service-kangaroo's to protect them from the kinda-gaurders.
Lukeeastment 7 months ago
Comment removed
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 Please don't bring "drama" to the comment section of my videos.. I don't like it, and don't wish to get involved.
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@TheAnMish Sorry about that. I've removed the comment.
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 Thank you :) I'm grateful for that.
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@TheAnMish No problem. I've since elected to get out of the internet drama for good and my most recent video is all about my decision and why I'm doing it.
coda623 7 months ago
I find it remarkable that TheAnMish sits down and makes a very personal video and so many focus on a gosh darn spelling of a word. In fact, so much so, that people actually voted up these comments. Seriously people! It is seriously ridiculous. What a waiste of time and energy. @TheAnMish - you should just ignore this kind of stuff from overly obsessive people. Plus, it would save people like me a lot of time not having to read BS.
medhue 7 months ago
Oow. Painful. You don't HAVE to do this ya know.
pallid56 7 months ago
@MNISHM FYI The word "Cookie" somehow found its way into German long time ago and finally became "Keks" a hundret years ago. So why do you bother?
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
regarding feeling different: i assumed everyone felt that way and it was hubristic to actually believe it. until i was about 25
cuntscab555 7 months ago
i have similar memories. plus crying a lot and my nose running
cuntscab555 7 months ago
@MNISHM Most of my videos get a few thumbs down.. though for some reason, there are never any comments about why (except when there are hateful, demeaning, sexist or otherwise inappropriate comments, in which case I can mostly guess why)..
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@AnthonyBlackthorn Past high school, they tend to get really attractive.
MissLoveTantei91 7 months ago
@MNISHM I completely agree with you. "Kindergarden" is a common modern spelling and pronounciation. I'm just way too picky about things like this (:
myhitsugaya10 7 months ago
was there anything special about the bread or the event? i mean, i can't really understand why they would bother you about not putting it down, other than the fact that they were kindergartners. it's not a neurotypical thing to do, it's just childish.
hippiechickie18 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis dude, they were in kindergarten... im sure no one would comment about it now...
hippiechickie18 7 months ago
I remember when I was little we spelled and pronounced it kindergarden then eventually it became kindergarten. If I can remember well I think my teacher said it's just the same?
nikkijaneallison 7 months ago 2
@TheAnMish Kindergarten (German, literally means "children's garden"), also known as Kindergarden by some individuals, is a form of education for young children that serves as a transition from home to the commencement of more formal schooling.
Perhaps there's a diffretiation in English spelling from country to country (I'm in America)?
myhitsugaya10 7 months ago
@myhitsugaya10 It's possible that different english speaking countries spell it differently.. it is that way with other words - theater/theatre, program/programme.. But it's also very possible that I was taught something wrong.
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@TheAnMish actually, it's still kindergarten in English.
myhitsugaya10 7 months ago
@myhitsugaya10 Odd.. that's not what I was taught in school :D
TheAnMish 7 months ago
It's Kindergarten!!!11!
MinervaInTheBrain 7 months ago
@MinervaInTheBrain Yes, in german, which is where the word comes from. But the english spell it with a d.
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@TheAnMish The English must be doing it wrong. It's Kindergarten in Ohio, USA.
It's a little like a road near me that used to be called "Deutsch Road" but then someone who likely thought the street name was spelled wrong came along, and changed the road to "Dutch Road."
MinervaInTheBrain 7 months ago
@TheAnMish hmm I'm not so sure, I'm from an english speaking country, and am a teacher of young children, it's spelled "Kindergarten" here only. Also a Kindergarten here caters only for children between the ages of 3 to 5 years of age. I think it varies from place to place.
Griffin9857 7 months ago
@Griffin9857 If it means so much to people (which apparently it does, since they continue discussing it) I'll change it.
A kindergarten in Denmark is also for children age 3-5, or just about.
TheAnMish 7 months ago
@TheAnMish exactly the same here :) and don't feel like you have to change it, it creates dialogue and dialogue is good :)
Another thing, completely off topic but meh, your music is awesome :) keep it up
Griffin9857 7 months ago
Im excited to see this series continue =). I went to a handfull of pre-schools but I remember one more than the others, coincidentally it was the one I escaped from. Whenever we went inside I got angry, the teachers would get the kids to take a nap but I was never tired, they would all have milk and cookies but I just hated it. I wasnt tired and didnt want to eat. The pre-school would be silent with kids all sleeping inside, while I was supervised outside on the swing sets conspiring my escape.
Lukeeastment 7 months ago
I don't have to many memories of kindergarden myself. I remember some of the people. There was a kid named Scooter who put coins over his eyes. The smart boy, i forget his name, with the oblong head who I used to think had a computer for a brain. And the gym teacher with those tennis shoes with the little pink cotton bunny tail on them. I also remember that my aunt was a teacher there, that was cool for awhile lol. see, now i'm starting to remember things but there is limited space to type! :O
twirlingchair 7 months ago
5of4
Oh,I forgot: the only thing I would eat there during lunch was a special brand of pudding I brought with me from home. (It was forbidden for kids to bring their own food.) And of that pudding I only ate the semolina part, not the "delicious" fruit sauce that was in the corner. I was loved for giving it away.
My obession at that time were the spinning brushes of carwashes. My grandfather's present on my third birthday was watching those things spin for three full hours. Now ain't that odd?
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
1of4
On my first days of kindergarten I had quite a hard time to adjust, since this environment seemed so alien and frightening to me. For example the whole lining up in pairs thing when doing a trip was unnatural to me. I hardly approached other kids and hadn't it been for some girls and kindergarteneres I'd never played with any of them.
It was there that I first had this famous feeling of being different.
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
2of4
Needless to say that I didn't enjoyed being there very much, so there were days when I simply refused to go. I can remember my reasoning for this very well: at home there were much more possible activities for me that I would enjoy more than anything there. They had only the most primitive legos and nothing that I built there would last the day since the other kids would destroy it. That the whole point of it was playing with the other kids didn't occured to me,
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
3of4
they were mostely just annoyances.
Usually I had to stay there during the forenoon and that seemed tolerable. But when my parents didn't come at the usual time, the kindergarteners didn't enjoyed me staying there. That was for sure. I didn't want to make a scene and to "hurt" things by throwing them around, so I just staged it, as a means to get home, where I belonged.
I used to hear my aunts and parents talking about that I were around adults too much and
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
4of4
that I had to mingle more with kids my age. Thus they came up with the brilliant idea of sending me to some place with many kids during the day in the holidays. The first day was shocking for me, the second shocking for them. I couldn't endure this any longer. Too many children, too loud, too unpredictable. Nothing for me. Get me out of here. Man, was I difficult! (But only when treated as a "normal child")
SeltsamerAttraktor 7 months ago
Me and My son who is now 8 yrs old with Aspergers did a lot of the same things during Kindy. My biggest memory was collecting and becoming obsessed with matchbox cars and those little NFL football helmets and sports cards and playing basketball alone for hours, I still play alone it relaxes me even as an adult . I also had early fear of the lunchroom that continued on all through High School. The Fear was overwhelming in Middle School and High School I avoided any group gathering all together.
xxxMST3Kxxx 7 months ago
I remember spending more time with adults than kids too when I was little.
aspie232 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis A lot of the stupid human behaviours are much the same, about sex or status (which is used to get more attractive sexual partners). Like driving a Hummer with bling. Conspicuous consumption shows the ability to provide. Flaunting the law is similar. Behaviour and the background situation is much bigger than body language, which is much bigger than words. I agree, it's stupid how it works... but it is what it is.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis But do consider we are social creatures! Not being able to innately pick up on social queues is certainly not more advanced. Society does a lot of things that appear stupid from a logical perspective, until you realize there is another logical reason for the behaviour. A male peacock has huge tail feathers that make him easy to spot for predators, and hard to escape, but his ability to have a nice display of feathers and to survive the handicap is sexually attractive to the females.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis I know here in North America, people wouldn't even think about it. Only talking with food in your mouth is considered rude. In formal occasions, it may be proper to not speak with food or utensils in your hand, but it's not every day I dine with the Queen.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis Are aspies just ultra smart? Certainly not. As a group, aspies have a higher average IQ, but that says nothing about the individual. Aspies tend to be specialists. We usually get fixated on something, and either through innate talent or obsession become an expert in that area. I think this is why TheAnMish comes across as normal to the unaware. Countless years of practice will do that. It was after 11 years of practice that someone actually said I was more "normal" than someone else.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis After a while, I realized that fitting in isn't everything. I've accepted I never will completely. It's still a problem if you break the important rules. I'll never be cool, but I have some awesome talents others envy. TheAnMish has the voice of an angel. She is also an engaging speaker, a testament to the hard work she's done learning to interact with others. She inspires me and countless others.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis I can't speak for TheAnMish directly, but as an aspie myself, I certainly feel the need to fit in. We are human, and we are social creatures. We do want to belong. We try. It's just exhausting thinking about the social rules and guessing at the bits of those rules we haven't yet defined. It's like playing chess while talking. We come across as "different" because we haven't mastered the social rules. We often inadvertently cross the line, but less so as time goes on.
markleerose 7 months ago
@AdamGLewis It is a problem socially. Being smart and logical is great, but if you're unable to pick up on the rules, and unable to figure out when and how to break those rules, when the rules change, you don't fit in. Social interaction is filled with subtle nuance. It's like learning a new language, but much harder, since the rules of a language are generally well defined. And you constantly have to think about seeing and expressing body language, emotion, etc., while having a conversation.
markleerose 7 months ago
I didn't know I was supposed to put my bread down between bites until you just told me, and I'm almost 43. Thank You. I actually do care about my table manners. That ones about as silly as keeping your elbows of the table.
DougShatter 7 months ago
i think i am in love with TheAnMish.
BobHylan 7 months ago
In retrospect I was damn lucky with my early elementary school years. Even though I was blatantly different in a lot of ways the kids I went to school with really did go out of their way to keep me included.
OrdinaryHumon 7 months ago
Yeah, I have only had a maximum of one friendship at a time for my entire life. It's hard for me to manage many friendships at the same time. I need lots of 'down time.' SO, I can relate to your kindergarten experiances.
11Agamemnon235 7 months ago
What is so funny is that I'm 36 and still don't know that you suppose to put your fork down until you just said it. It was and is so much more efficient to do it the way we do it. Ohhh, I'm learning everyday something different about me.
RubberWilbur 7 months ago
Aspies have awesome episodic memories that is for sure.
RubberWilbur 7 months ago
@RubberWilbur Aspies have noses for sure
erdal0 7 months ago
BTW, did you ever come up with a solution as to why you had to put down the food between bites?
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 Not at all.. I kept doing what I wanted :)
TheAnMish 7 months ago 4
@TheAnMish That's what I would have done :)
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 in my mind... because they were told to, orders don;t have to make sense, they simply are, and people with little flexibility or no idea to question why are the masses of sheep i watch everyday in the world, because it easier to do as you're told without question... I got my AS from being a forces brat, orders were always around, but i was taught to question them, and that is more logical to me.
Badgerbitesback 7 months ago
@Badgerbitesback You don't get AS from experiences in life. It's inherited, normally from the father (although the mother can also pass it on). You're born with it.
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 Well... as the person with AS that i am, i choose to make my own mind up and i have found that many of the kids like me who were born on a barracks tend to show the same lack of skills at integrating with civvies, i do not then assume that we're all damned from birth, hence why i believe it is in fact a learnt disorder from lack of experience with people or not being taught the skill you need, others say its because i had the MMR but i tell them where to stick it.
Badgerbitesback 7 months ago
@coda623 But please sir, i believe in what i believe, do not assume to tell me I'm wrong because its not what you think... I'll discuss things with you but i will never tell you you're wrong, do me the same courtesy please.
Badgerbitesback 7 months ago
@Badgerbitesback I can understand why you would believe that. It actually makes quite a lot of sense to me. I'm not going to say what I'm about to say because I think you're wrong, but because I'm trying to build off your theory. Maybe you were born with VERY mild AS, so minor it's virtually unnoticeable, but experiences in life have caused your AS to show itself more. Seems like an interesting thing to look into, but I'm probably wrong anyway lol.
coda623 7 months ago
@coda623 i was only diagnosed by accident at college when i was 17 and 9 months... and i never said you were wrong, i just asked you not to tell me I'm wrong. :)
Badgerbitesback 7 months ago
@Badgerbitesback I understand.
coda623 7 months ago
I also have some memories from preschool. I would always be off doing something other kids weren't doing during free time. I just didn't like to do things with other kids all that much. After kindergarten, I just settled on thinking I was weird, like you did. Then in my first year of high school last year my German teacher was talking about Albert Einstein and we came across the fact that he had AS and she went into detail about the disorder. I finally found a possible explanation at age 14
coda623 7 months ago
I had about half a friend in kindergarten. He was more like someone I tried to hang out with. And there was also a girl I was friends with in kindergarten but she moved multiple states away the summer after kindergarten. I don't remember being a complete outcast, but I do remember not having many friends and eventually in the coming few years, I realized I was weird. I just didn't think about it too much in kindergarten.
coda623 7 months ago
I too preferred adult friends and only had 1 friend of whom I trusted fully. he was two grades lower than me. I also had select adults, cause some still behaved much as the immature kids around my own age group.
-Blessings and Cheers!
lexxintegra 7 months ago
Thanks for sharing this :) I always find it interesting to hear how other people thinks and feels.
You too TheAnMish, take care! ^-^
Torandrius 7 months ago