Vicar of Dibley Jokes

[iNinja85]

My mum says I sound like Alice..but my mum acts like Alice..I think I'd rather be me :D

[2DV8UwasFUN]

Oh no what noise does a rabbit make, hahaha. Best one :D 

[multiplesifl]

Third joke has always been my favorite.

[twlthteg]

Or even strangely attractive?

[twlthteg]

Is it me, or is Alice stragely attractive?

[Rita6196]

Geraldine: *death glare* It's hilarious.

[thedrunkenelf]

"Where's the soap" is a VERY dirty joke. One nun asks 'where's the soap?' the other nun thinks she says 'wears the soap' as in 'it wears the soap out' and answers 'yes it does rather'. Meaning the second nun is using the soap to pleasure herself.

[LilacCup]

oh my goodness .. i adore alice ..

[kawasaki2948]

I LOVE ALICE!

[yeahyeahbeth]

Number 3 is hilarious! Hahahah!

[aerosmith2010babyy]

where's the aerosmith joke?

[pokamonmaster1997]

WHAT THE HELL DPES #5 MEAN!!

[BeeWilla4]

i love the vicar of dibley. dawn french is a genius :D x

[tuongvivu]

Number 5:

Where's the soap?

It does, doesn't it? means

Wears the soap...

Yes it does, doesn't it?

aka masterbating..

[jazzsax77]

hmmm i dont get number 5, anyone help me?

[thetasigma42]

it's not meant to make sense you fool! That is the very point of the sketch... irony yeah? You american?

[ajcba]

Could someone be so kind as to explain joke no. 5? It's the only one I don't get. Thank you!

[Claustral]

@ajcba It's playing on the difference between "Where is the soap" and "Wears the soap". So what would a nun be doing to wear out soap...?

[ajcba]

Oh, I see... What would she be doing indeed? :p lol Thank you so much!

[ajcba]

Only now, after listening to the joke again, did I realise she says "two nuns in a BATH" and not "in a BAR" as I had understood the first time. That's why I didn't get the joke! Silly me! Thank you again, Claustral!

[BlueKiss32]

i thought she said bar, too.

[vjmartinez88]

really oh damn thats funny..

[skjohnson1603]

@ajcba you fuckin dumb cunt! It's "wears your soap!" but you here it as "Where's your soap". That's the joke.

Grow a brain fuck kuckle!

[spuddy234]

what does she sayin 5 ?

[NorwegianSalmon]

uh uh.. I dont get number 2.. the cross?? hmm.. my english..

[ennekuulmatu]

the other nun misinterpreted "show him your cross" as "show him YOU'RE cross"

[thenickshift]

@NorwegianSalmon cross in english can also mean upset/angry. so show him your cross can meab to show him your wrong.

[angieofkent]

talk about chicken soup for the soul....! everything richard curtis does makes me think the world is a wonderful place. especially the vicar of dibley.

[olle80]

i think that Emma Chambers is very charming.I would love to kiss her!

[KimNek]

2:50 LOVE her expression. XD

[26232511]

Hahahahahaha My Friend Told mee number 3 today :

i couldnt stop laffin for ages :L

[Nancydrewrocks10]

I don't get number 5 can someone plz explain it

[KimNek]

Nancy:

Instead of 'where's', the other nun heard 'wears' as in 'wears down'. If you think of it this way, the two NUNS taking a bath, wearing down soap... You make the rest up in your mind.

[Ferrari27675]

Its not supposed to be a joke, shes playing a prank on alice, and she claims to understand it, even though it wasnt a joke

[faithrockz1]

No 3 "That`s a hard 1 BOOM BOOM TISH"

[lukesixtynineuk]

Yes number 7 is the best ever.

Isn't Emma Chambers just brilliant?

[blakekaleigh7292]

I love 7, lmfao.

[SuicideOnMyMind]

watching this while drunk makes it even funnier.

[xxMizzblondixx2008]

LOL NUMBER 6 ALICE <3 Jim Trott <3

[NinjaSushiiiii]

number 6!

LOL

<33 alice XD

"Thats the rudest thing i have ever heard!"

[AbbASongs1]

I love the superman joke lol, I don't no but it hurt alot! lol

[henrycrumm]

LOL at alice's reaction to no.6 XD

[AbbASongs1]

I love number 7 too lol

[RachTrinity]

one of the best Brit coms!!!

[dabomb123ify]

omg i love geraldine/dawn french!!

[ah33333]

no.1 You laugh at the joke for abit n then your just laughing at her laughing hysterically :) i like that.

[mingreece]

i still don't get joke 5

can sum1 plz tell me clearly wat the joke is about

i think it will b much easier for all of us if we new

[hhmasta4320]

like "where's the soap?" can also be taken as "(it) wears (down) the soap," as in to wear down something. It's not that funny but it's clever.

[andydpandy16]

in answer to pirates 09rocks answer the nuns are using the soap as dildos and so there vigina's wear away the sop - weres the soap - yes it does rather dosent it

[OoohPoop]

thanks :) i get it now :D

[HayleyWestenrarox]

I LOVE the jokes at the end of this show!

LOL!

[auricstorm]

where's the soap? =where there's hope

[pirates09rock]

I dont understand numer 5.... anyone explain?

Number 3 is the best haha

[legoguy20]

i like the 2nd joke she tells about the 2 nuns and the vampire

[littledancerrgirl]

BAHHAA.

i love alice and the vicarrrrr.

<3

[russelltrigger]

amazing show.

i think Alice is so funny,

excellent show!

cheers for adding on ere so the rest can view it!

cheers

[WallaceProductions95]

They are sooo funny

[scoot1998]

Alice: knock knock

Geraldine: who's there?

Alice:ronnie

Geraldine:ronnie barker is it?

Alice: yes yes

Alice:knock knock

Geraldine: WHO THE HELL IS IT THIS TIME? LOLZ i love this show

[Ewciasz22]

I love this joke the most :-)

[Charmed1012]

lol it is obvious alice is not stupid and acts like it like she so understands the jokes but so funny

[ZOSOqueen]

no that's NOT what it means, lol!

she doesn't say "where's the soap?"

she says "wears the soap..."

as in "(it) wears (away) the soap..."

the funny element being that we can only imagine what wears away the soap, and the fact that the other nun replies with "yes, it does rather" just makes it even funnier!

[cynthianin]

ah yes, i get it now, hence i read other peoples comments, my bad.

[cynthianin]

lol what noise does a rabbit make. I love this show to bits, i loved all the jokes in this one, although i didn't get number 5, just like vanessamae101 said.

[jamesjcg]

I lold

[DawnFrenchRulz]

Who the hell is it this time! LOL!

[vanessamae101]

i don't get No 5.

[TruwarriorHBK]

Lol, she just made it up a fake joke seeing if Alice would laugh and pretend she knew what it meant

[sasha2901]

no thats not the joke!! its two nuns in a bath and 1 says to the other wheres the soap and the other says yes it does doesnt it . its wears as in wears the soap away when shes masterbating with it lol!!

[LivEToKiLL6666]

@TruwarriorHBK retard she means "WEARS" its a play on words

[harunrathore]

@TruwarriorHBK I am not so sure it is a fake joke after all. It is a pun on "where" and "wear" and a bit puerile. Nun A wants to know where the soap is. Nun B who has been inserting the soap into one or more orifices of her choice agrees that by using it that way "it wears (down)". Of all the jokes the Vicar tells, it is the naughtiest one, but also the one that least people understand … luckily …

It's like the spoonerism: "Soul full of hope" => "Hole full of soap"!

[cynthianin]

yeh me neither, althogh i listened to them explaining it, but it still didn't click.

[hensca]

@vanessamae101 - The joke revolves around the fact that "where" sounds like "wears". The one asks "Where's the soap?", so the soap is obviously nowhere to be seen. The other one thinks she said "Wears the soap", and she says "yes", implying she has been doing something with the soap which wears it down. In other words, she's been using it to pleasure herself, which explains where it is... get it?

[Mashutubez]

@vanessamae101 Wears the soap (means she is using the bar of soap for pleasure)

[graceygrumble]

@vanessamae101

It's because the second nun thinks she says 'wears the soap' as in it wears the soap away.

In other words she's doing 'naughties' with the soap.

[Caldom92]

i dynt get "wheres the soap??" :(

[TruwarriorHBK]

she's just sayin the joke to see if alice would understand. but it dosent make sense so geraldine in basically tryin to trick her

[hensca]

@TruwarriorHBK - @vanessamae101 - The joke revolves around the fact that "where" sounds like "wears". The one asks "Where's the soap?", so the soap is obviously nowhere to be seen. The other one thinks she said "Wears the soap", and she says "yes", implying she has been doing something with the soap which wears it down. In other words, she's been using it to pleasure herself, which explains where it is... get it?

[LivEToKiLL6666]

@TruwarriorHBK retard she means "WEARS" its a play on words

[lantech]

NO.7 was the best ever HAHAHAHAHAHA

[westhamboy2008]

ok so number 7

[westhamboy2008]

no.6 the best

[westhamboy2008]

NO.4 LOL!!!

[moonprincess0060]

i dont get number 5

[TruwarriorHBK]

neither do i actually......

[vortexguyz934]

Lol, she just made it up a fake joke seeing if Alice would laugh and pretend she knew what it meant

[MsBockers]

@moonprincess0060 Where's the soap...as in It's wears (out) the soap.

[bigbangclang]

@moonprincess0060 its just a trick it is not a real joke

[ilyl12]

lol i love it wen alice doesnt get it!

[WWEFalcon]

I'm always cracking up during the show then the credits roll and I always say, "OH YEAH! THE END JOKES!" lol These are great. And there's a lot more good ones where those came from.

[donnie10855]

I love this show. These are great.

[JamesHeal2]

LOL!

[ratschkathl1]

Fabtastic! Love that show!