Added: 8 months ago
From: brisso99
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  • there's definitely a drinking game opportunity here...

  • Bloody emigrants!

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  • i dont like mars bars, but i wouldnt go on a mars bar video and whine abut how much i dont like them.....This guy is funny, if you dont think he is funny, then why not just not watch him ? I bet you are the kind pf people who complained when russell brand phoned andrew sachs....Like that shit even concerns you, you just want to fucking whine and moan coz your life has nothing in it :)

  • Ok, we get it. Prawns.

  • Bloody emigrants, coming onto youtube threads, getting offended, slagging off our country. Go back to where you don't come from!

  • ...1 thing I cant stand is shit comedians. He should emigrate and join his mates.

  • Who is this unfunny prick? Ive tried watching 2 of his 'comedy' clips so far, and no dice.

  • I hate emmigrants.

  • @TheFunkadelicFan I hate Stewart Lee. Amazingly not funny. It's a miracle that people go to his "gigs".

  • @MadCowpat why are you here?

  • @guitarreilly It was in my recommended videos, so I thought "WTF is this doing there?"

  • @MadCowpat if this is the first time you have watched him trust me when i say he really grows on you i didnt like him at all a month ago hes now possibly one of my favourite stand ups and at his peak he is the best in buisness

  • @guitarreilly Nah I watched his comedy vehicle bullshit on Dave before (had to because nothing else decent was on). Turned it off after about 10 jokes because it was that bad.

  • Politics of envy is never funny.

  • I'm living in a former British Colony, and New England Rocks! I'm glad I moved here.

  • ...oh dear. Is he funny? Who gives a fuck.

  • Brilliant stuff.

  • This guy really is a dreary cunt. Yes I get that he is doing a pastiche of some old time stand-up who hates immigrants, but to drone on for 5 mins on the same joke...please. I see some comments likening him to Bill Hicks! Not fit to clean Bill Hicks' toilet.

  • @rorybone100 yeah, not as good as Bill Hicks who made a whole career out of bragging about smoking and how it was big and clever etc. Don't hear so much of him these days...

  • @ogdroadsong True, some stars shine brilliantly only for a short while. I always thought it was good for a comedian to make a career out of being funny rather than raking over the bitter dregs of failure that SL has made his own, thankfully, unique style.

  • @ogdroadsong Cheers by the way, went and viewed Bill Hicks doing his smoking routine. Just superb! He had a lightness of touch and timing, whilst being dark and sardonic that SL could only dream of.

  • @rorybone100 LOL! You're quite good at that piss-taking lark.

  • It doesn't seem to matter where I start surfing the net, I always seem to end up watching a prawn video.

  • the reason why i hate immigrants is that they take the jobs (wait there is more to it than that)

    I got a degree and I want to get a high paid job using it, trouble is i cant find a job with it so I have to get a small menial job while I wait for vacancies as I'll need references on the CV for when a big job comes along. I had a part time job at 16 working behind a till so it should have been a doddle. but no, the non-english speakers have moved in, cant get the small job to get the big job.

  • I work in a hotel in that Auckland that they have now in one of those former British colonies, and it never ceases to amaze me how all the British tourists go straight for the prawns, as if they're something special. Now I understand why.

  • Quick hint, If you are an emigrant and you feel the need to defend yourself on this video, then the video HAS GONE OVER YOUR HEAD.

  • @tdcpm27

    Nahhh didn't go over my head, I understand he is drawing parallels with bigotted 'immigrant' arguments. It's just that he's an unfunny cunt and completely unable to actually come up with something that is both borne of reality and humorous, regarding why people emigrate. I posted in the hope that he may use my comment in order to find something that he could make funny instead of whittling on about 'huge prawns'.

  • @maettsook I think it did. Something other than huge prawns? Asian mail order brides? I know your type.

  • @tdcpm27

    Yeah OK, I admit it, it went over my head, the man is the Lenny Bruce of our generation, anyone who goes to the trouble of purchasing an air mail envelope for their act is clearly working on a higher plain than I am able to comprehend. Anyone who can hold an audience enthralled simply by repeating the words "former colonial home, quality of life, what do you mean emigrant? Massive prawns!" for 2 and a half minutes should be cherished as much as I cherish my mail order bride.

  • @maettsook Quite right! I love this stock response to any criticism of SL that you just dont get him, or that it passed over your head. Bollocks! He is a tedious cunt as are those who like him.

  • unfunny leftie twat

  • You have totally missed the point of Stewart's humour if you thought that he was really that serious about this topic - it's a sideways look at the stereotype of the British ex-pat that bangs on about the sunshine and barbies on the beach - and an ironic look at those who are anti-immigrant. I'll bet that if he did this routine to ex-pats in Oz they would get it.

  • My quality of life has improved as in England I worked a car park night shift and spent over half my wages on rent. Now I live in a flat provided by my employers in Korea, teach kids English and can afford to see a film and eat at a restaurant on the same day, not only that, but the waitress will be fucking stunning and pretend to be happy to serve me! Oh and I'll pay 50p to ride the tube home and not have to worry about some little shit eyeing up my smartphone, connected to Seoul's free wifi.

  • @jewbinson i disagree in the strongest terms but your name amuses me greatly.

    so the comment was worth while in some way.

  • @jewbinson :p

  • He says the same thing over and over. BORED. I could never understand why my husband liked this... I have tried but it just doesn't do it for me. *Waits for some twat to have a go at me for having a different SOH...*

  • @poddersgirl1 you MASSIVE TWAT for having a different SOH, whatever that may be exactly. No I don't mean that, I just didn't want to keep you waiting too long you probably have a life to get on with...I say probably, I can't be certain as you dislike Stewart "Liberal students wet dream lover" Lee which would suggest that any life you had previously has all but withered away.

    You might be in two minds as to whether I'm being rude or agreeing with you, it's up to you to decide now poddersgirl11...

  • @alanthe2 Oh man... I totally forgot that I was supposed to be waiting for some twat to have a go at me for having a different SOH. What a chump.

    Thanks for being so thoughtful though.

    Stewart Lee is the food equivalent of marzipan for me: it looks like something I would like and I really WANT to like it as everyone else I know seem to but I find it utterly unbearable.

  • @poddersgirl1 Marzipan is shit. No argument and I don't even want to like it, if anything I want to destroy it, I want wedding cakes to be naked with their sugary/doughy texture chains thrown by the wayside.

    Good use of the word "chump", its underused, plus it reminds me of the budget chocolate bar "Chomp" which in stark contrast to Marzipan I enjoy greatly.

    Also sorry about getting your username wrong L sometimes looks like 1, if this were in real life, I'd be embarrassed but luckily it's not

  • I understand his humor completely, I just don't think he's funny... He kinda' drones on a bit like a really arduous Radio 4 broadcast.

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  • I hate prawns

  • "any good news coverage?"

    What? Like The Sun's page-3 tits?! The Daily Mail with a tit on every page? Newsnight "did you overule him" charades? UK journalism is infamous around the world for its sensationalist bullshit, right now embroiled in an industry endemic phone hacking scandal.

    The only worth while news is the BBC which you can get anywhere with BBC World.

  • heh. not british or anything. but technically, that was poetry. enjoyed.

  • Sounds like there's a heckler at the end saying, 'Whatever'.

  • i would hate to be dissed by stewart lee!

  • @ScottishCaledonian Like me!

  • @ScottishCaledonian

    Oh, that's on account of you being a massive cunt. It has nothing to do with the size of the prawns.

  • Wow, he worked that prawn joke so hard that even the Stewart Lee Fan League were getting a bit impatient there :)

  • I am an emigrant, a British emigrant. Not living in a former British colony. I left because my life in England was sh*t and never going to get better. I do prefer living abroad, I avoid other expats for they annoy me with their ignorance. I have cleared my debts in less than 2 years, which in England would've taken 10+ years. This is where my quality of life has improved. Oh, and I HATE prawns, big or otherwise.

  • @MrBernardBumby but you're quality of life has improved.

  • @MrBernardBumby Where did you emigrate to?

  • @MrBernardBumby It appears you've entirely missed the point of the entire sketch.

  • @enulcy Yes, I think the point was denial and arrogance. Arrogance to assume British journalism is something that might be missed. And denial that all Britain is short of is big prawns, other than decent weather, good roads, good services, nice beaches, good utilities, cheap petrol.

  • @Treblaine No, I'm pretty sure it has fuck all to do with what he actually thinks of Britain or the rest of the world or emigrants and is entirely about an ironic mocking of people who attack immigrants. Seriously, if you watch Stewart Lee and take his comedy at face value, you're not going to get anywhere.

  • @enulcy Well that emigrant/immigrant inversion is obvious just from face value and doesn't contradict with Bumby's statement. I know exactly what he is saying and what he is implying to get laughs, his repeated droning of "former British colony" pushing the colonialism thing like a petulant leftist.

    There was not a hint of irony in his suggesting they might miss British Journalism. Joke is on him there.

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  • @MrBernardBumby Whereabouts have you emigrated to? I want to emigrate in the future as well.

  • @Mike209000 I live in Asia, but not one of the former British colonies. Asia and South America are pretty good places to live, plenty of culture and lovely hospitable people. There's pretty much nothing I miss about Britain right now except for families and friends. You won't necessarily get paid more abroad but you money will go further, Britain is over taxed and over priced.

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  • @MrBernardBumby Haha but you've only gone to live in a country that is cheap. Of course it's going to seem better. Funny thing is, your own descendents, having got through the last of your money will probably just end up coming back to Europe or North America for work.

  • @MrBernardBumby It's hilarious that you need to defend yourself on a comedy video.

  • @MrBernardBumby

    Why have you tried to make this video about you?

  • Morrissey moved to Itally.

  • @69ulrika hahaha i eat five prawns, brilliant lol.

  • Brilliant. He's also looking a bit like morrissey here too. Check out his Glasgow show from a few years back. 60 minutes of uninterrupted success. :)

  • @starphazedboy I want "60 minutes of uninterrupted success" with Stewart Lee if you know what I mean

  • I like the bit where he said prawns.

  • Norman Wisdom all the way. Far more amusing.

  • I am thankful I live in Australia and not in Britain. I think my convict ancestors got a lucky break when they were sentenced to transportation to Australia.

  • @4duff5 But the spiders, man. They're massive! AT LEAST five times the size of our American spiders.  And therein lies the true measure of a nation's greatness: its prawn:spiders ratio (use total mass to account for both size and population)

  • @anarchoconservative haha very funny :)

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  • Jesus Christ in reverse!

  • He really reminds me of Bill Hicks. Exactly the same kind of comments on his videos too.

  • ...what about muscles?

  • He's as funny as a road crash

  • @CatTerrist 2deep4u

  • @CatTerrist Road crash....hehehehehe

  • I don't find this funny at all

  • @rikuown You probably shouldn't watch it again then. Glad I could help.

  • As good as comedy can get. Lee, Stanhope, Hicks, Jeffries etc...don't compare...they are all great. Stupid bloody people arguing over the Greats.

  • @KITCHENOFDISTINCTION Lee + Hicks yes. Stanhope is really hit and miss, uses some very obvious gags for the sake of being edgy and offensive in my opinion, not a fan of Jeffries. For me it would be Munnery, Hicks, Carlin, Hicks, Kitson. P.S I have seen all of these other than Hicks live.

  • He sounds like Plinny from Histor's Eye when he's reading the letter from Mother

  • Lol, funny to know how aussies, safas, yanks and other Englese speaking folk are feeling insecure now cos he's speaking boldly but with plenty of truth in it. And I'm not British;).

  • Thank god he's staying in the Uk, you guys can have him!

  • @FreeWheelinNZ Come on, as a cyclist you still can't/won't see it!

  • aren't many emigrants from the UK to places like Spain, exactly the kind of people that hate immigrants coming to the UK....

  • @JustSomePerson888

    Your expectations were confounded and from thence the humour arose.

  • @DamoSuzuki100 - i actually haven't watched this yet, but still funny, yes. and doesn't ruin it for when i do.

  • @JustSomePerson888 hahaha that's a very good point! What a hypocrisy indeed it is. Just look at Carol Thatcher who's now living in Spain.

  • harry potter and the dark satanic mills

  • This guy has clearly never been to Melbourne - good news from ABC/SBS, nice theatre, opera, etc

  • @oliversisson Don't take it so literally mate.

  • @oliversisson ...and little understanding of irony?

  • @oliversisson

    Not much point in him going to Melbourne if they're all as fucking humour impaired as you are, cobber.

  • @oliversisson I don't think he's ridiculing the places these people go to but the reasons those people give for going there. They turn their whole lives upside down for frivolous reasons when they don't even appreciate some of the great things they have close to home.

  • @oliversisson Facepalm.

  • @su0rtin Faceprawn, I think you mean.

  • How dare the audience clap at a Stewart Lee rant. This isn't Peter Kaye listingthingsyou'vedone,please­claptoshowyouunderstand time.

  • @Giovanni222 clap nazi

  • Priceless!

  • This is the guy who thinks there are no decent modern American comics?

  • @TauLambdaBeta you may need to consider not taking comedy literally.

  • @TauLambdaBeta chappelle & stanhope are superior far mofos

  • I don't like prawns

  • how have i lived until now not knowing about prawns in australia !!!

  • Wow, the idea of a prawn 125x British prawn size is mind boggling and high-grade pedantry. No nazis either. Bet they have Nazis in the ex-colonies, nazis who manage not to ruin it for the emigrants as many of them, in my experience, are (daily mail reading) nazis who leave Britain coz it's "gone to the dogs". Spend all their time saying how awful Britain is when they've chosen not to live here which is both cowardly and small minded.

  • @EarthNeutral I think that would basically be a lobster, wouldn't it?

  • MASSIVE PRAWNS, STU.

  • This reminds me of Good News Week. Prawn-based politics thinly disguised by rancid comedy. Good to see. The EU is a racket cooked up by the Germans and the French. Britons never wanted it. So don't blame Britons for that.

  • @warriorprince1010

    I wouldn't trust what you were reading either if it's saying that Gordon Brown is still the PM.....

  • @sammyramone91 Fail...Try again. 

  • @warriorprince1010 'Fail', 'Owned', 'Epic', 'Trolling'.... fucking get some new words. EVERYONE on this fucking website uses the same SHIT words. Does my fucking head in.

  • @mgeorge733 You did fail, thats all. The word fits you Brownite excuse makers. Under Brown the poor got poorer, the bankers, union bosses, council bosses, private school kids got richer. Brown created poverty more than the worst Tory government, you have no leg to stand on, sorry.

  • @warriorprince1010 FAIL!? what does that even mean? Its some stupid comment kids use on here when someone falls over etc. Pathetic use of language.

    Stop using stupid youtube expressions and going on about basic politics that you dont even understand and know everything about. As for including me into the political discussion.. I have no interest whatsoever in it.

  • @mgeorge733  You dragged youeself in and indeed failed to defend your view.

  • @warriorprince1010 I never mentioned politics except in my comment on here. Cant you read?

  • @warriorprince1010 - prawns.

  • @warriorprince1010 but that;s not true.

  • @mgeorge733 OMG STFU U Noob You got totally Owned that was epic PMSL @ your Fail

  • @UKFootpatrol LOL

  • @warriorprince1010 And you live where ?

  • @matt301273 Like your comment, and mine.

  • Someone needs to do a music remix of the prawns segment...

    Get on it, Youtubers!

  • This is making me peckish for a prawn cocktail hehe :-p

  • I like it when he said "prawns"

  • why is the it's link to this "Land of Hope and Glory (GREAT VERSION)"??

  • @bifferspice Nah, that's bollocks. 

  • @Edjidudley1970 Wanker.

  • @Edjidudley1970

    Eton Toffpot

  • @Edjidudley1970

    And I don't even get what's left-wing about it......Why are you watching Stewart Lee videos if you don't like Stewart Lee?

  • this needs to go on a t-shirt.

  • omg @ interllectual discussions on the size of prawns. this must be stewart lee's fanbase

  • @astroboirap What, intellectual? Not necessarily, but thanks ;)

  • @astroboirap What does interllectual mean?

  • @noeldc it means typo

  • I always said living in Australia is like the moment just before you wake up in the morning. Only all the time.

  • @meotaku2 The moment just before you wake up? Living in Australia is like being unconscious all the time?

  • I love YouTube. I've just watched that clip, and now I'm reading comments debating the size prawns around the world.

    Still, better that than Nazis

  • @Spanner50 This fellow's quote deserves to be held aloft in the 'Top Comments' section. Please thumbs up @Spanner50's comment.

  • @Spanner50 Yep! Prawns and sharks are brilliant...nazis are rubbish!

  • @Spanner50 Fuck you, I washed my socks on a higher temperature than last week and I won't stand for your bullshit.

  • That's not actually correct, though. If a "QOL prawn" is 5x the size of a British prawn, that means it's 5x larger in each of its three dimensions. 5x5x5 = 125x the amount of prawn meat, not 5x. You'd have to eat 125 prawns to eat the equivalent amount.

    If there's one thing I can't stand it's an inaccurate joke.

  • @fragglet That depends on the definition of size; It doesn't necessarily mean 5:1 scale. Size can be regarded as volumetric.

  • @spoonfreakdotcom I think the common understanding of "five times the size" is in five times the length, not volume. If I bought prawns that I was told were "five times the size", I would expect five times as long, not approximately 1.44224957 times as long. What I am saying is that if this joke was being used in a commercial capacity (to advertise Morrisons for example), I for one would report it to trading standards as misleading advertising.

  • @fragglet I couldn't say what the most common understanding is, but I have often seen things such as weight or volume used in terms of the 'size' of a product, and seen it viewed as such by others in many contexts. For example a 1kg box of cereal can easily be seen as twice the size of a 500g one from the commercial perspective. Also, your rather precise approximate number is the cube root of three, not five.

    Regardless, this obscene level of pedantry very much belies the humour of the joke.

  • @spoonfreakdotcom My mistake, I meant "approximately 1.7099759466766968 times as long".

  • @fragglet hahaha, touché my friend.

  • @fragglet the prawns could of been 5 times dense, your comment reminded me of Richard Ayoade's character in IT Crowd brilliant

  • @ThatUtubeMachine Stew specifically says that they're "five times the size". When you say that the prawns could have been 5 times denser, I'm not sure if you mean the British prawns or the foreign ones. If the former, then you would still have to eat 25 prawns to get an equivalent amount. If the latter, it's actually worse - you'd need to eat 625 prawns as a foreign prawn would be both larger and have more meat densely packed into it. Either way it just doesn't add up.