Wits - Julia Sweeney "Sex Ed." Monologue

[CERULEANSPIRAL]

OMG! This is hilarious! My daughter is 7, she has asked a few questions and knows about eggs and sperm. She has not, however, asked *how* the sperm get to the egg yet. :::knock on wood:::

[jrockey2000]

I've watched this video many many times and I'm STILL laughing my ass off!

[ActorRod]

So, f***ing hilarious!

[loverofmythology]

omg... her daughter is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too smart XDD

[TheIntentler]

@loverofmythology It's all made up, silly. Children by the age of 8 know more about sex than you will ever imagine.

[tikiwaker]

Thank Dan Savage!! Hilarious!!!!!

[PatsinPA]

Dan Savage!



[weldj]

thumbs up if Dan Savage brought u here!

[idoanwanna]

Hilarious!

[VoidedMirror]

She has a segment about her daughter's name on her album "In The Family Way". Highly recommended.

[bigdaddyquey]

Her name is not really Mulan people!!!

[powerrider1116]

because i watched this youtube suggested horse breeding videos to me...wtf

[insidious420]

Oh my... all the 'related videos' at the end....

[stupiddodohead]

Well, mulan certainly got down to business alright!

[ytilive]

I have a 4 year old boy who is starting school soon, and I have a baby girl Due in a week.... I can't even imagine how this is going to go down in my house, lol. I think it'll be up to me though, my husband couldn't keep a straight face through it if he tried. I laughed so hard through this, I can imagine my son being the same way!

[LingLing52593]

OH GOD HER FACE WHEN SHE DOES MULAN'S VOICE XD

[KatzNK9]

Priceless!

[WeirdAl68]

Oh. My. Lawd.

[beaky881]

This is just too funny! Thanks so much for this :)

[beesheriff]

That is too funny, I almost had the same conversation with my daughter when she was that age!! :D

[shaudee67]

Dear god, this woman's internal contortions were hilarious. Why do parents have such difficulty in having this talk? It makes no sense to me. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sex and procreation are facts of life, treat them as such.

[TomMSTie1138]

Julia explains on her album "In the Family Way" that her daughter was already named Mulan - and ancient Chinese name - when she adopted her.

[musicstarn]

No, for humans are VEEEERRRYYYY private.

I think I broke something inside of me laughing so hard! lol

[InYourEveryDream]

Too funny

[breachofmusicconduct]

Why is everyone arguing on the fact her daughters name is Mulan? I'm pretty sure anyone can name their daughter Mulan whether of Asian decent or not! Jheeze, JUST WATCH THE VIDEO IT'S F***ING HILARIOUS!!!

...I think I may have ruptured my spleen...

Sweet Jesus, I haven't laughed that much in a long time :')

[Mythsbringer]

The logical answer is

"Why do you ask honey??"

[MarkHaxify]

my favorite part wass 6:10 XD

[RoosterTreeComicLit]

This video has the content it does, & y'all're hung up her adopted of-asian-descent kid's name?

Better not call your son Peter, or he'll run around crying "Wolf!" all the damn time.

[23jessicas]

Bambi or Tarzan? Crack a book, friend. Mulan is a character in an ancient folk tale, and is a name that has been around for a long time. A better analogy would be that it's like naming a British child Rose or a German child Gretel. Last I checked, there's nothing unusual about that.

[davidgadtenor]

Wow, that is amazingly funny. WHen my daughter starts asking, I'll just show her that!

[enjoey]

her daughter is adopted and asian.

[fliperchishka]

LOL! Just hilarious!))) I wonder if a mother is ever ready for this subject)))

[jx14aby]

I like "Mom, aren't you even curious?"

Fair question. 

[disfigured1]

Her daughter is adopted and of Chinese descent , it's her birth name, a very common name in China for girls. 

[Mauzeah]

@disfigured1 Noooooooo no no no no no

I mean I don't LIVE in China so I can't exactly say but if it is then something extremely catastrophically revolutionary has happened to naming conventions over the past twenty years because naming someone after someone else in Chinese is NO NO NO NO NO. SO MUCH NO.

[babyranks4]

Very private lol

[gojuiceguy]

why are you obsessing on the child's name? What does it matter?

[Shendue]

@gojuiceguy: Because there's a pretty famous Disney cartoon character with the same name.

It's like she said her children's name is "Bambi" or "Tarzan".

[scartwright199]

What is a "Mulan"?

[juliecranford]

"People figure the legs out. They just do." This is when I pause the video to laugh for a few minutes.

[DrFrank1e]

That's why I dont want to have kids.

[mesha1ism]

Nice Clip

[pseudorealistic]

This is funny, but the mother should be upfront and honest. Sex isn't embarrassing, the more you treat it as some unspeakable subject, the more you implant an innate sense of disgust at what is a very natural thing.

[wildfemale]

27 people confused the "like" button ;)

[Katskorner50]

Loved it! I laughed till I cried!

[stasis1988]

Seems weird that an 8 year old wouldn't know about sex already... She'd have at least heard of it before.

[crazyzombiekiller911]

@stasis1988

I would hope that an eight year old would NOT have known of sex prior to this. Not sure where you are on the issue of children and sex but my eight yr old daughter did NOT know the exact ways of sex or intercourse. Although we did have some interesting conversations regarding the mating habits of mammals...lol

[juliecranford]

@crazyzombiekiller911 I knew penis goes in vagina and sperm goes in egg when I was 5. There's nothing bad about that.

[belldanime]

@stasis1988 I didn't know anything about sex until I was 10, and that was in 1997.

[juliecranford]

@belldanime I r same age as you.  I knew about sex when I was like 5. I think maybe it was because of that movie, Look Who's Talking.

[juliecranford]

@stasis1988 Meh, it varies. Anyway, if she's using the term "doing it", she probably did hear about it before but didn't understand what it was about.

[mikegifford]

quite fun, even the second time.

[LanaSaurusRexx]

Pure. Comedic. Gold. That is all.

[khynes2000]

This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Kudos to Julia Sweeney!

[kkmarlow11]

Watched this video in my college anatomy class and we were all laughing hysterically... funny take on a more serious topic

[sallysings]

Bloody hilarious. The people who didn't like this probably don't have any kids. >_>

[SolidSulfur]

666

[stepperliz]

didn't really find this funny



[herasmarket]

yeah, this was so funny we rolled on the ground laughing kids ya gotta love 'em!

[LoreleiMission]

I've answered the queries of young ones myself, and all I can think watching this video is, why is it necessary to include a few lies to the kid? Tell the truth as best you can. I don't think lying to children about this is necessary, nor funny.

[knittist24]

'maybe we can look on wikipedia and it will show you', priceless xDD hahahaha

[monny287]

This reminds me of watching Titanic when I was about the same age as this woman's daughter while my mother was cooking dinner. I knew the basics of sex, but obviously not everything. So, during the sex scene in the car, I turned to my mother and asked "Why are they all sweaty?" My mother, who had been chopping, froze. She then went on to sputter through an explanation of how sex is like exercise, and that's why they're all sweaty. It is only now that I realize how awkward that was for her. XD

[Yensen12345]

Put a huge smile on my face :D

[torichanM]

Can anybody explain to me why Rebecca Black's video is the first in the suggestions?

[aekara1987]

@torichanM Cause guess what you gonna do on Friday Friday

[mathewrtaylor]

Thank you very much for the laughs!

[brooklynsweb]

Classic!

[gummybrain]

I remember being in a grocery store with my mom when I was 8, and I guess I was thinking about how babies were made, so I asked her, "Where's the birth canal?" out of the blue. A man pushing a shopping cart a few feet away started cracking up.

[AlexLouiseWest]

Thank you so much for this, Julia...

Hilarious in its own right, but even more so for me because my brother, his best friend and his girlfriend came to visit a few weeks ago and were endlessly amused by the frogs and toads mating in my pond. This is in spite of the fact that a) we grew up in the country and also learnt the facts of life from frogs; and b) they are all in their late twenties.

[Sweewolf]

This is brilliant! Soooo funny! :D

Thanks for sharing this with the world!

[zzsql]

sounds like a really brilliant little kid asking such questions.

[fugue137]

I really wish this weren't so funny. Why do we have these hangups about sex, again? Sounds like Mulan will be a fine scientist one day, if adults' reactions don't scare her out of asking good questions. Not to knock Julia--I'm sure she conveyed some shame, but in my book she still gets points for effort.

[woahdang192]

I was cracking up, then cringing, then cracking up again throughout this whole story. Just awesome.

[iFuff]

highly interesting... o_O

[jab0805]

That is hilarious! Well done!

[FatRakoon]

This is painfully funny and brilliant too!

[sweeeti78]

"Waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park..." CLASSIC!! LMAO!! XD

[VibrationsDrawn]

Her daughter will be so horrified when she sees this in a few years, lol!!

[thecolorifix]

Laughed so hard I cried.

[foccacina]

@beavisel1 shes probably telling about a story that happened years ago when they were both younger.

[tommy605]

@beavisel1 Uhm, Mulan was adopted shortly after Julie's brother died about 7 or 8 years ago. And Julie isn't 79.

[jamie1707]

"Isn't this green curry delicious"

Best line ever.

I love her, Julia is so funny.

[SolidSulfur]

My mind was just blown

[DemonWithGoldenWings]

perfectly hilarious 

[bewlaybrutha]

what a boring cunt

[SpleeMckee]

Looking back, I realized I never asked my mom about sex. The only question I ever asked my mom was what a virgin was, haha. I honestly learned everything from movies and the internet. I kind of hate that fact but I'm sure my mom is thankful that she didn't have to go through THAT awkwardness, hahaha.

[lifemakesmelaf]

@SpleeMckee haha my parents just gave me a book on the subject one day when i was in the 5th grade. it had illustrations of the parts, what the baby looks like inside the mother and...humans mating experience. The next day I brought it to school and my friends and I gawked/laughed at it.....was i spreading the idea of porm?! Well since they were illustrations and not pictures I give myself a break :/

[ContagiouslyParanoid]

It's interesting but also a bit awkward for me (I am German) to see the big taboo around nudity and sexuality in US-America... for Europeans that often looks a bit prude. For my part, I had a beautiful children's book explaining reproduction and copulation of flowers, bees, animals and humans at the age of five or so. Nudity never was a problem for me as a kid because i often saw my parents naked and nudity is in general not such a taboo (e.g. nudist beaches: quite common in the former GDR).

[hollidayevery]

@ContagiouslyParanoid Remember, several U.S. settlements were started by Puritans and much of the mindset continues to be in the U.S. consciousness. I am not so sure if it is appropriate, but I can see why it is there. It is at the core of what influences much of the U.S. citizenry...

[SPrintF1]

You may be the best Mom ever.

[Cepical]

This lady is hilarious

[helliop]

...wait, her daughter's name is Mulan!?

[juliecranford]

@helliop Watch In The Family Way to find out about the kid's name.

[helliop]

@juliecranford Haha, will do! This woman is a hilarious storyteller. :)

[shpuck2011]

@helliop

Yeah, she adopted her.



[hollidayevery]

@helliop Yet another reason to wonder about U.S. Americans....you pause over her daughter being named Mulan, and yet we wonder why people have such issues with discussing sex maturely. We live in a country where we are multi-racial, and even adopt across sexual, religious, cultural, racial lines...As soon as I heard her daughters name, I figured that her daughter might be Asian in origin, no big deal...I may be right, I may be wrong, but I don't question the name.

[helliop]

@hollidayevery Fair enough point, but I'm not American though I am Asian. I could infer she'd probably be asian and adopted but I just found funny how nonchalant she mentions that her daughter has the same name as the Disney Princess in the midst of all the hilarity. And if you live in America I have to disagree with you that anyone can adopt across any lines such as sexuality, only 9 states same-sex adoption is legal and it's banned in Florida.

[hollidayevery]

@helliop Once again, the doubtful, disagreeable tone...I doubt that Julia's daughter would feel truly accepted if Julia made an ISSUE of making sure we realize that here daughter's name is Mulan. Also, I never said that we CAN adopt, etc across certain lines...That means that we do it WHERE WE CAN, AND WHERE WE ARE ALLOWED. So I should have said that SOME PEOPLE, SOME PLACES adopt (even though we already know that NOT EVERYONE adopts). Makes chatting overly complicated...In short, you're right

[helliop]

@hollidayevery Yeah, I probably shouldn't have made a big deal over her name.

[otakucode]

So wrong. At least she didn't just keep the poor girl ignorant. But what horrible tragedy do you imagine would have befallen the family if she had simply answered the girls questions and not lied? What is this insane obsession with preventing kids from learning biology? If you are worried about pregnancy, then teach them about birth control. These things aren't mysteries. There's no reason to make your kids stupid.

[mcguire997]

Willie Yeats had Crazy Jane say, "For love has pitched its tent in the place of excrement."

[needleonthevinyl]

This I think is the best way of discussing sex in the history of all things family.

[Emiaroza]

4:55 "But how do they know when?", Mulan asked, "Like, does the man say (Is now the time to take off my pants?)"

ROFLMFAO ... that one made me explode from laughter!

[ladytgoddess]

@TheCruel dude even joking thats wrong....

[juliecranford]

@TheCruel That's how elephants do it. And the ancient romans.

[zabuma]

..........did she say here daughter is names mulan?...

[umalim]

@zabuma watch Julia Sweeney "In the Family Way" and you will find out how she adapted her

[kr1st0ff3rs0n]

Now is most definitely the time to take off my pants.

[MrWtfschool]

I'm never eating curry again.

[olllj]

DONT search animals mating on youtube for sex ed!

[jdsmith9]

this woman is brilliant hahaha, great video

[Gehennaruto]

Is it *talking about sex* with your 8-yo daughter or talking about *sex with your 8-yo daughter*?

[yusefelhalal]

Six people haven't figured out the legs question yet.

[juliecranford]

@yusefelhalal Boo, you whore.

[harryforeman]

oh my god this is SO funny..........

[TheBassplayah]

THAT was sooo funny....Thanks...I needed that

[lovedragonflies]

that was hilarious...has to be one of the best ways to giggle for 10mins ...a sure cure for the blues...LOL

[happythetan]

Haha!

[Dannyboy3237]

Excellent.

[ratholin]

ow my sides hurt.



[bronxboy47]

There's no getting around it, no matter if you're straight or gay, your playground is located smack dab in the middle of a waste treatment facility. Get over it. And stop with the anti-gay "ick" factor already.

[AdorableAdorna]

I want to know what happened when her daughter shared her new found knowledge with her friends. To follow that what happened when those friends when home and discussed it with their parents. Ohh to be a mouse in those houses!

[AmaraCharles]

Oh, I just love this!!!

[mareasha4u]

love it thanks!

[TomMSTie1138]

Dear Julia, Please develop this into a new show!

[jedihunter176]

I don't think telling an eight-year-old about sex is funny at all. I think it's pollutive and bad. They should be much older until this.

[noseinthebook]

@jedihunter176 I think she did an excellent job answering her daughters questions. I mean what is she supposed to do lie? It's better that she's open with her now when she's curious and wants to just understand than to hush it all up and then when she's a teenager she feels like she can't talk to her about it.

[onekinkstar]

@jedihunter176 Sure, and that's why there are 12-14 year old CHILDREN getting pregnant.

[jedihunter176]

@onekinkstar Exactly, they know so they do it.

[onekinkstar]

@jedihunter176 WRONG! Education offers the power to know better. IF more PEOPLE of ALL ages knew and understood the facts of how the body works, AND were taught respect for themself, along with good moral values, THEN there would not be 'accidents' causing unplanned pregnancies OR diseases in CHILDREN who have sex in ways that only committed people should do!

[juliecranford]

@jedihunter176 No, they figure it out by instinct.

[StevenCasteel]

4:13 was she quoting Neil DeGrasse Tyson about the waste treatment/amusement park thing?

[tallenuf53]

@StevenCasteel Or he was quoting her? I don't know which one said it first, but either way it's brilliant!

[HowDoYouDo87]

This. Is. BRILLIANT!

[sirhcsuiris]

This could be the funniest story I have ever heard xD

[FallOutGirlxxxxx]

I love how the first suggested video is "St Bernard Dogs Mating".

[jwskiman]

@FallOutGirlxxxxx

I couldn't help but notice that also - nearly fell out of my chair laughing!

[yoyopattyp]

This encapsulates forty years of life if ingested properly. Fucking brilliant! Thanks so much for this link.

[yoyopattyp]

This encapsulates forty years of life if ingested properly. Fucking brilliant!

[LaBelleMensonge]

Oh. My. God. "It's like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park." Fantastic. I love this woman.

[FRODOGOOFBALL]

I am crying from laughing too hard.

[misskilp]

Once again she proves what a wonderful writer and story teller. Hysterical.

[ebuckley2036]

Whoever "dislike"'d this is an idiot. Hilarious!!!!

[BobbieGleason]

Great really needed a good laugh.

[TomMSTie1138]

This monologue is made doubly funny by the fact that Julia looks just like my best friends mom! XD

[wryrich]

Started this basic conversation with my twins over my shoulder, while driving across the city, glancing into the rear-view mirror for their reactions. They'd surely chosen the moment in which to ask about it casually, so that I wouldn't try to "overshare." The resulting conversation lurched over the course of a couple of days.

Loved that.

[JiveDadson]

Here's another version that's more polished and even funnier: watch?v=Ysxz5Ug70G0

[vanillazambrana]

So funny, I dread when this day comes for me.

[KaraRvn]

@vanillazambrana Are you kidding? I've done it, no big deal. I mean it's kind of cool, explaining it to kids and letting them question it freely.

My Mom even took me to classes when I was little, to prepare for when I got my period. Then when I got it I was like, "I'm a grownup! Yay!" XD

[jjsmilemore26]

this is too funy.