Funny calvinist/arminianist jokes - Matt Slick

[Aletheia828]

Whats an Arminian's favorite movie? -- Free Willy

[shamgar001]

@13Xanadu Aristotle didn't create logic, he recognized and labeled what had been working the whole time.

Just like how Carl Scheele discovered oxygen; that doesn't mean he's responsible for its existence.

[janeym]

so funny!

[Caldari1]

Really though, God never contradicts his own will. If someone does evil, he cannot say that God willed it, for God will's no evil. He also desires for all to come to repentance. It's not that hard to prove Calvanism false. Use simple logic and reasoning. God is the one who created logic and reasoning.

[jerico641]

Yeah, all those "other" religions are really funny, huh?

[nomyaw]

What do you call a four-point Calvinist? An Arminian.

why dont Mormons drink caffeine because they might wake up

[Natester27]

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 35?

Because 36 is to many.

[craiginnyc42]

Out of one abusive ideology (Mormonism) and into another (Calvinism). Good for you!!

[blindfire4christ]

@donnymencini that isn't correct either. Asking jesus to appear can be dangerous if the motive is false, satan can appear as an angel of light and decieve multitudes, look at Todd Bentlys ministry as an example of that.

Unless the holy spirit moves on his heart, MsWanderer will stay as she/he is hardended and unrepentant. Pray that God is gracious and calls her to repentance and faith.

[ClumsyRoot]

@blindfire4christ

Todd Bentley is a man of God. The fact you can't realize that makes me think Satan has clouded your mind.

[SpaceAboveSky]

@ClumsyRoot lol



[vicesquad08]

@ClumsyRoot Say what?

[ClumsyRoot]

@vicesquad08

LOL! Jus' funnin'. :)

[MsWanderer1]

@donnymencini;

HE DIDN'T SHOW!

I would have more luck asking to have a million dollars placed into my checking account.

The next time you talk to JC tell him to give me back my son, my parents, my brothers, my sister, and my dog; then I'll believe; otherwise just tell him to go screw himself!

[bardfast42]

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb ?

Ten-1 to change the bulb,9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.

[Tavlo]

@bardfast42

I'm Pentecostal... and that joke ROCKS!!! :-)

Thanks for a chuckle.

[bardfast42]

@Tavlo my pleasure

[edidier169]

Matt Slick; wow what a joke.

Matt Dillahunty blew your ass away when you two debated the TAG (trancendental [laws of logic] argument for god)

It was quite entertaining, and informative, I even took some notes

The debate took place on the Atheist Community of Austin public access show.

The Atheist experience episode 593.

With related content also on shows 592 and594 and on the non-prophets podcast episode 8.4

It's nice to match a face to the voice

thanks for the entertainment

[hdiylove7]

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

[MsWanderer1]

You dim wits would be using candles if it weren't for atheist; you would be talking though a pipe if it weren't for atheist; you would probably have died from a disease if it weren't for atheist. What a bunch of morons you people are.

[MichaelGabrielR]

@MsWanderer1

This just proves that God uses evil people to execute His eternal decree. Atheists didn't gave us all those things, it was God. You didn't even give us a good comment on YT and all of your "good works" are disgusting in God's eyes. All good gifts come from above, from the Father of lights, not the father of lies! Even we as Christians admit that on our own we can do NOTHING good. Christ is the vine and we are the branches.

Man is evil and dead unless made alive by belief in Gospel.

[MsWanderer1]

@MichaelGabrielR;

If that were true then your god would also be at fault for cancer, heart disease, diarrhea, lupus, flue, colds, birth defects, car crashes, plane crashes, mass murderers, and so on. Oh yes; and morons like you. Screw you and your god.

[MichaelGabrielR]

@MsWanderer1

The world has these due to Adam's sin. God is actually doing a good job sustaining this wrecked universe. It's like making the most beautiful sculpture out of dung. Without God there would be no life - and I'm not talking just about origin of it.

Haven't you heard that God is consistent with His character? He cannot lie, so he must create us true to our spiritual condition (with all those negatives). Also he uses calamity to chasten he's elect and bring judgment onto the wicked.

[MsWanderer1]

I'm afraid you are totally brain washed Michael; you cannot recognize truth through those god goggles you are wearing. If having faith in a god helps you, then peace be with you; if you place your faith in a religion, then you are a no more than a rabid dog.

There is no god deity but if you consider that we are of the same stuff as everything in the universe, then the universe itself may be a living substance and you are but a part of that substance.

[genskiff]

So, according to your estimate, religious people are like dogs? Hmmm...sounds like Stalin, Hitler, and other atheistic regimes to me. No wonder killin' unwanted folks is as easy as dumping excrements for you guys, it's all just "material" anyway.

[MsWanderer1]

And what god are you talking about Michael; I've yet to see any evidence of the existence of any deity or deities.

[MichaelGabrielR]

@MsWanderer1

Well, your wish have become a reality.

With the today's technological and scientific advancements plus the multitude of data we have gathered throughout the ages, we are finally capable to not only prove God's existence but to find out what kind of a being He is.

But no matter how much evidence there is, if a person is stubborn then nothing will convince that person. There is no such thing as an atheist, only agnostics.

[genskiff]

Actually, those things happen because of sin, which is antithetical to God. However, people are able to innovate technologies because they can think and create, which comes from being made in God image. Also, if atheism were true, then I suppose that none of these things really matter anyways. Nobody would care if mankind was destroyed if his net worth was equal to a rock. I mean, I don't care if rocks are destroyed do you?

[genskiff]

Lol, really? Are you serious? So....what were the world-views of Thomas Edison, Newton, and so many others? Hint: Pick up your High School History text. I believe you'll find yourself thanking Christians for so much of Science.

[MsWanderer1]

Do you place your faith in a god or in a religion genskiff? It sounds like you are a Christian and thus your faith is in a religion; that makes you no better than the rabid dog. Faith in religions that proclaim knowledge of some god's wishes of mankind is what make them so dangerous; not a faith in a god.

BTW: Newton was an alchemist, which would have gotten him killed by the church had they known, and Edison was an atheist. Try taking a Collage history course.

[genskiff]

Well, actually my faith is in Christ, but that faith requires my intellect as well as my trust. Actually, being subjected to the arbitrary estimations of atheistic regimes is what would be dangerous, as you illustrate in equating my human value to a rabid dog, which we put to death.

I have difficulty taking your suggestion seriously when you do not even spell college correctly. Actually, in my undergrad studies, history was my minor.

[MsWanderer1]

Many scientist believe in the existence of a god but that DOES NOT make them Christians; most of those scientist also do no place any form of faith in their deity to manipulate their lives or wellbeing like you asinine Jesus freaks.

[genskiff]

The initial point was that atheists arent the only ones who do science, which contradicts an earlier statement made by you. I even gave you two examples of non-atheistic scientists. Actually, there werent too many atheists around when science began developing in the Western world. Many historians are persuaded that science developed as a result of Western Christianity, if you want to know. Do try to keep up here.

[MsWanderer1]

Well genskiff, it's obvious you don't accept the 10 commandment since as a Christian you are violating the first commandment by worshiping a man; I think that would require a great deal of tenacity rather than intellect.

If you think that type-O was bad, you should see the ones I make when I write a message in German to my colleagues.

[genskiff]

I dont accept the Ten Commandments because I follow Jesus Christ, eh? LOL, you just keep demonstrating your ignorance about Christianity, dont you (let alone history)?

The poor grammar gets worse? And youre stupid in two languages? (Insults dont feel so good do they?)

[openairpreacher]

The secret prayer of calvinism! "There are" the chosen born saved while sinning before the foundations of the world!! The elites are "Gods" OverLords of truth! All others are born the children of the damned and are haters! You will know these haters by their fruits Listen to their words! ( LOVE JESUS forsake sinning!) How dare they trample on the grace of God! May God have mercy on their souls as He casts them in hell!

[4givn4life]

Now this theology fits Matt the Slick.....

[wmgroutofthebox]

Look at the discussion boards of CARM! The CARM fundies literally said and believe if "God" commanded a Christian leader of a nation today to kill every little child of an ebemy nation that they would support such an action! Do you see now how dangerous Christian fundamentlism is? Go ahead! ASK Slick and Sellnar if the slaughter of children att he hands of men who were hearing form 'God" was immoral! Slick said I was using the Bible as a weapon against him for asking this! I gladly inflame them!

[wmgroutofthebox]

See? How many fundies will put their real names in heir replies and say, "Why Yes! I "___________ _________" support and see nothing immoral in the slaughter of little children at the hands of men hearing from God. I would support the same kind of killing of children if I truly believed the God of the Bible commanded men of God in leadership of nations to do this today." Watch! Not one of these chicken shit fundies will say this. Except for Slick and Sellnar. They are twisted fucks. How about u

[Mekelsior]

God would not ask any christian today to kill anyone, especially since Jesus died to establish the law of God wich says "Thou shall not kill" now to say yes if God ordered it, would be an indicator that its not God that is speaking. God does not contradict Himself.

[wmgroutofthebox]

Go ahead! I challenge anyone to ask Matt Slick outright if it was wrong for the "men of God" to kill every man, woman, boy, girl and baby. Remember theseOld Testament bronze age tales describe child slaughter by the cruel death of a sword splitting the little children wide open. Matt Slick and Diane Sellnar said that these acts were not immoral! They blast the abortion right advocates but defend the genocide of children described in the Bible! I will gladly mock and inflame fundies like him!!!

[Mekelsior]

Question: Should they leave the children to starve on the battlefield? I admit that I do not understand all that went on, nor can I answer if it was moral or not, what I do know is that the world then was a horrible one, all of the world was in spiritual darkness, except for the light that God gave Israel, still Israel failed countless times, demanding to do it their way. It comes down to this, we do not have enough information to make an accurate judgement on the matter.

[wmgroutofthebox]

How is Matt Slick like a doubled Barrel Shotgun? Give him two cocks and he is ready to blow!

[wmgroutofthebox]

What do you get when you put Eric and Matt in a motel room together? Homosexual intercourse!

[AgApE010]

What do you get when you cross a Jehovahs Witness and an atheist?

......

A person who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.

[RAIDERJO76]

LOL did-a-dragon-just-come-out-of-­your-head-matt LOL!!!

[carmvideos]

This is great. Heck, I didn't know I made all those kinds of faces....

[Blogrich55]

Question: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: They don't change the light bulb. They wait for a prophet to restore it!

Q: How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take?

A: They don't have to change it because the light keeps getting brighter and brighter.

[Blogrich55]

Q: How many Oneness Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None! I keeps changing itself, sometimes it's white, sometimes it's yellow, sometime's it red. But remember please, it's still the same lightbulb.

[testskriftene]

nice!

[kilerspartin]

@Blogrich55 good jokes, but they answerd way to thelogical, it should of swung more culturally.

[Blogrich55]

@kilerspartin Sorry but that's my job: apologetics.

[zkueker88]

hahaha, i actually heard this particular show live.

[prchdaword]

These are great!!!

[Tavlo]

Call a committee!! Ha ha ha!! Good one.

For the Atheists, I really thought he was going to say "What light bulb? Light bulbs were made up by people who are afraid of the dark and had to make up light bulbs".

[ocpud2999]

As a former baptist. I can tell you that this is not far from the truth. But I still love my baptist brothers.

[MsWanderer1]

"What light bulb?" :-))

[Oct31st1517]

This was actually funny.