Family

[tayllor2900]

I'm stuck for something wise to say. Just know I'm here for you bro if you ever want to talk. I'll listen anytime.

[33Aydin]

Thanks

[wwwtransmencouk]

It must be so difficult. How come your grandparents don't know about your transition?

I really hope your grandpa had a successful surgery.

[33Aydin]

Because my mom has asked that I wait to tell ppl so that she has some time to adjust, which I totally understood and respected.

[hydenryke]

You seem to be very close to your family (atleast that is how it sounds).

[caughtnbetween]

decided that your family was worth it to you, no matter how hard of a challenge it was for you. and with that said you were putting your family before anything in your life, no matter how difficult it was/is for you. i feel like i am rambling. hope some of that made sense. my thoughts are with you and your family. hope all goes well with the surgery. hang in there buddy :)

[caughtnbetween]

my dad had a 5 vessel bypass last year so i know how stressful that can be. i think that you being there will be a great representation of your strength of character and how good of a heart you have. whether or not you try to pass as female, i think being yourself is key. i think your family will be happy you are there regardless of your transition and if they start to make issue of it, i would explain to them the hard time you were having deciding whether to come at all and ultimetly decided

[Narcolipto]

(cont.) If they can't love you for who you are then they're losing out in the end. At least you will have the comfort of knowing that you're doing all you can by being there for your mom when she probably needs you the most. If they want to address the subject of your transition, tell them it will have to happen at a more appropriate time. Just my thoughts of course. I know you will make the right decision for yourself and I wish you luck in whatever happens. Please keep us posted on everything.

[Narcolipto]

I totally get where you're coming from. I would say go & be there for your mom. The family should accept you for the person you are... not the gender you are. If that becomes the center of their attention & the focus of their presence then maybe they shouldn't be there. I know we don't live in a perfect world, but blood is thicker than water & love is thicker than flesh. If they can't love you for who you are

[moldingMe]

Good Luck. I understand. I just told my Mom, I'm almost 4 months on T, and we are going to be visiting her entire family (over 30 people) this week. It will be interesting. Hang in there. You will figure it out. I would ask your Mom what she would prefer.

[MsHeathieLiz]

Man, what a rough situation to be in. Putting yourself through an undeniably hard situation in order to be there for your family--- that's love. One would hope relatives would be able to look past your appearance changes and say, "Thank you for being here." This might not necessarily be the best time to tell your family, but at least you can say, "This is how much family means to me."

Rough situation. I support your decision either way.

[mrsethcorbin]

Thinking of you and your family, the rut you're in right now must suck but like you said, the important thing is that you're there for your grandad.

Positive vibes coming your way!

[MarcImmeker]

Tough one Aydin. But you nor your mom are going to keep things secret much longer. Your family will find out but if this stressfull time is the time to tell them? I simply do not know but if you can manage the situation that will help I guess.

[Nightshadefire]

dude I have the same prob as you..

My grandpa is not well ...

so im going to visit my family soon. :(

Though my mom does want me there, I don't "pass"

as male most the time either. only once and a while do i get a sir ((hugs)) i feel for you

[dfstoneftm]

If you are really close to your aunts and uncles like you say, then surely they would want to be there for you too, during your transition.  I know I could not handle being referred to as female anymore.

Good luck.

[honeynvrhadaname]

I'm golding your g-pa in my heart man. Good luck with everything.

[fennerrumble]

positive energy for you and the fam..

[Turagf]

Secrets... i hate them. Most of my family doesn't even know im gay so keeping that is a must from my mom's point of view. I can't even imagine what it is going to be like when i transition!

[potassiumsulfide]

Wow, that's really rough. I'm sure I don't know what I'd do in your situation, but... Family sounds like it's immensely important to you, and I think that in the face of open-heart surgery, not too many people would be worried if your voice sounded a little off. If you're really worried about them wondering, I suppose you could cough a lot and tell them you had a sore throat?

[InYourFaceNewYorker]

Do your parents and grandpa not know you're trans? Do they not accept it?

[SuzLa1]

In my opinion, as soon as they know, the sooner you can get on with your life without worrying about things like that. Still, if you think it isn't the right time to let them know, then maybe you can think of it as a white lie until a more appropriate time.

[SuzLa1]

Only you know what they were brought up to think like. Would it really be such a big issue for them? What you do doesn't really affect people like your aunties and uncles, does it? I don't see how it would hurt them. They should just care about if you're happy, but what people do and what they should do is different. There are a lot of sad judgemental people around who get off on making other people feel bad.

[You2Lew]

something tells me , that ur transition wont be the focus during an open heart surgery. I think ur granpa would care more about u being there, then how ur voice sounds. Family first....just play like u dont know what they are talking about when some people say she and other say he. no one is going to notice dude. I will say a little prayer for u grandpa . keep us posted.

[adio2614]

"You do what you have to do to be there for your family"

That's such a selfless thing to say, especially in this situation.

I hope in the end you come to a decision that you feel is the right one.

I also hope everything goes smoothly with your grandfather's operation.