I'm not telling that joke

[GrimSolitude]

January 3rd, 2012...FINALLY Jon Stewart said something that made me laugh!

[imsamwilson]

@GrimSolitude fuck you

[coffeetablesex]

murdoch owned satellite station...interesting joke in there :)

[besties4ever18]

this joke sound little 2 girls 1 cup but family style

[offstride1]

Jon Stewart you are a pussy. Tell the joke and be a comedian. What are you afraid of? This joke is niether left or right. Maybe if Jon wasn't in makeup he would tell the joke...or not. Jon Stewart is a pussy and not funny.

[CoolerKing37]

@offstride1 This is a deleted scene from a documentary all about this joke. If you want to hear it so bad, just look up The Aristocrats. And quit being such whiney baby.

[reedforcongress]

@offstride1 He was just as funny describing the joke... and that's part of the joke. Grow up.

[antiirony]

more like jon stew!

[makeorbreakgirlz]

what joke was it??

[denisrenelara]

what joke was it?

[Urindunk]

@denisrenelara

The Aristocrats

[xdatgrlx]

I enjoy him immensely.

[IloveShannon75]

Jon graduated from my high school! Lawrence High School! I have his yearbook

[magicmike323]

I just realized that Jon Stewart sort of looks like a straight Anderson Cooper.

[4jranderson]

I wish John Stewart would fall into a well.

[s1rpsychosexy]

@4jranderson fuck you man

[richardcadbury]

he votes democrat, but wont tell this joke?

[quedasobravo]

@richardcadbury No, you almost had it, but no... You're aiming to be funny, right?

[makeorbreakgirlz]

@richardcadbury what was the joke?

[richardcadbury]

@makeorbreakgirlz It's called "The Aristrocrats" It's a joke that can be made as long and as obscene as the comedian wants. It's pretty much by definition the sickest joke ever conceived.

[makeorbreakgirlz]

@richardcadbury okay wow. i just looked it up lol. its not really that funny of a joke, i know the punchline is supposed to be ironic but... its just not so funny

[ThePoop1579]

240p we meet again

[rufuscure]

Damn he's actually like that?

[amberawsome]

i wonder if he spray tans

[therealcritic28]

@amberawsome

xD He's probably just caked in bronzer.

[violet101]

hmm honestly, I wouldn't mind if Jon Stewart jerked off into the camera. O.o

[artofnick]

@violet101 cut or uncut... that is the question.

[sansam25]

@violet101 Me too!

[94Cioppa]

@violet101 u gay

[violet101]

@94Cioppa but i am a woman

[94Cioppa]

@violet101 o ok :). I was high while I wrote that sorry

[icu812a]

"I'm not telling the Aristocrats joke. Instead, I'm going to bring a dildo wheel onto my show and spin it to decide which stories to cover."

Well played, Stewbeef. Well played.

[HunterMann]

I wonder if his agent told him not to participate fully in the film... At least he was included in the bonus reel.

[dchris1990]

which camera should i suck to?

[Anathema1984]

He's getting ready to do a show, I wouldn't tell the joke either. I doubt Comedy Central would do anything though.

[OooHesGood]

i dont blame him.. its a long boring dirty joke.. hes better then telling a joke someone already knows and is asking to hear.

[sakura4994]

@OooHesGood

That's the point of the Aristocrat joke- it's supposed to be bad.

[92holli]

This is why i love stewart he is actually holding his ground against the corporation it just makes me love his show more 

[ChaosTheorite]

He's an insult comic. What do you expect?

[CameronWasmund]

Seems like an asshole.

[OleVanDole]

Man this video is old, hes been gray since for a while.

[wwwvenom]

what a fag. if he wasnt gonna do the joke why even do the interview?

[zzRider]

Jon Stewart does drag... the only thing missing is 80's music.

[ByzantineAmerica]

And hes still not funny. I hate this man.

[oblivionspawn07]

@ByzantineAmerica I may not agree with many of his ideologies, but he is very smart and he can be very funny. His show has become alot more politically balanced lately too.

[stinkf1st]

Not sure if I'm alone, but this video is the first time I've ever seen John Stewart act pompous. Even his laugh is snooty. It's cool though, he's hilarious. That and he's the only person that reports the news. Still love you John, pompous ass!

[Robstailey]

@stinkf1st

i think he's just annoyed by two people holding cameras in his face bitching at him to tell a dirty joke everyone already knows when he's clearly in the middle of something. i think it was more than kind of him to not just tell them to fuck off

[BobaFettBountyHunter]

The best thing about this clip is that the two guys interviewing Jon don't even realize that Jon dismisses them.  He uses the most polite terms it is possible to use while communicating contempt for their intentions and persistence. In the end, it is as if the two interviewers announced to Jon: "We're called the Aristocrats!". But thanks for sharing.

[MidNiteR32]

Typical elitist Jew.

[FebruarySoul]

Nice tan.

[zigglesparks]

hotttt

[farerse]

he looks like bud in married with children

[madbax68]

Looks like Seinfelds older brother.

[gham619]

What's the joke???

[Foe0o0]

@gham619

/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

That one

[VegitoVai90]

Jon doesn't use gel, his hair is just like that

[smileyface7727]

Why is he orange?

[kcaz64]

@smileyface7727

It's the lighting.

[Hrko1992]

so wats the joke about ?

[ZarathustrasCrown]

@Hrko1992 A happy, loving family... :P

[momentlondon2]

@Hrko1992 its a famous joke called the aristocrats...

[CourtsideBanter]

@fillabunny me too :/

[fillabunny]

You know, I was watching the show when he took over and this is still what I think of when I picture "Jon Stewart." I'm not really used to older Jon, for some reason.

[daPlumber702]

yet another reason Jon Stewart sucks, he just didn't have the balls... never does.

[pang5]

@daPlumber702 You're just upset because they reminded you that NAMBLA is a joke.

[daPlumber702]

@pang5 ooooo-kaaaay

[Seyphfa]

lol at 2:13

[metyuewb]

Oh I know that one

[sansam25]

Jon Stewart is soooo..fucking..hot!

[Superwondermanhyper]

Gilbert owns it! Jon is is too cool for that.

[devinecrazy]

excuse my ignorance but, WHAT'S THE JOKE?! 

[DarenTx]

@devinecrazy The joke is "The Aristocrats".  If you are not easily offended you should watch the movie of the same name. It is excellent. I'm not a fan of Gilbert Godfrey but his version was by far the best.

[Garret00074]

@DarenTx

Yes, It was...Gilbert owns this joke....

This is a comedians joke... inside baseball...

[sgfig]

Reckon he's a mean stoner?

[syleiling]

he does look dashing in this vid. too bad people has to grow old. i still like him.

[TheChemicalOllieShow]

Hang on, that voice interviewing John sounds familiar ... is that Teller?

[syleiling]

@TheChemicalOllieShow I think it is Teller. After all he made this documentary.

[RomanianUser]

why wasn't this man elected as president

[ANGELO13111]

the daily show fucking sucks. but when jon is in movies and other shit he is hilarious

[Slashtap3]

man he's so witty

[XiahgoSQUEE]

Wow Jon is such a hottie. I just want to stare at his face.

[petkragh]

No wonder almost every woman on earth wants to bone him. He is so cool.

[Bioreek]

guys wearing makeup

[Akerberus]

I'm a guy and I would let him fuck me so hard

[Alphabasicnumeric]

Whoopi Goldberg did, it, he should have too

[spooksmagee]

"Lemme just give you a couple of poses just so I know that the donkey will fit."

LOL

[CaptainBob]

He looks ridiculously tired constantly XDD Go to bed and sleep for about a year.

[rctrbo]

the real punch line to that joke is "NAMBLA"

[craffte]

i want to lick his thighs

[1FreestyleStoner4]

fagget gets hella makeup new world order puppet

[RaikageMakoto]

@1FreestyleStoner4

lol,

You're adorable

[1FreestyleStoner4]

@RaikageMakoto i am aren't I

[bl0wmme]

@1FreestyleStoner4 Why the fuck does makeup matter? If there's a message or point to this video, you're missing it.

[Imsittingintheback]

jon stewart one of my favorite jews

[greenplantnorth]

aww.. i hate when men were make-up.

[kribban79]

@greenplantnorth Uhm all people on TV wear make-up! You have to, or you look like a ghost under the lights

[leeroynaggins]

Wow...

This dude has aged in the last few years...

[REman07]

@leeroynaggins  It's called kids and marriage, lol

[therealtreefitty]

@leeroynaggins I always think it's crazy when the newer shows have clips of him from years ago. He always looks so young in the old clips. :D

[lauralistens]

@therealtreefitty The man looks gorgeous 20 years ago AND now... what LEV1ATHYN said... that says it all about Jon *sigh*

[annaborrero]

I'm a little confused, why when asked if he wanted to apologize to his family he said "that damage has already been done and it has nothing to do with the joke" ? And he looked kind of upset after he said that but maybe I'm wrong, was that something like personal or a joke lol

[jumpyourbone]

@annaborrero

no im pretty sure he was joking and that was part of the joke lol

[raplena14]

whats the joke?

[ezelouie]

the aristocrats, heaps of comics tell it. look it up. It's really dirty

[noobtoob100]

YouTube the joke.

[imDead630]

The joke is too dirty to tell, all I can tell you is that it's what aristocrats do...they fuck eachother...

[TSonMalice]

so whats the joke? lol

[winterstellar]

Hehe..it dawned on it me that he probably wasn't serious, yes..but then I had already written the damned comment, hehe. (Ah, I see there's a remove-button here too, I should have used that!) : )

[winterstellar]

He said the joke was written in 1968, but that's totally wrong. It was made in America during the depression in the 1930's, actually. : )

[thegunclub123]

he said 68

[winterstellar]

@thegunclub123 Yes, but he must have been joking. It's a famous joke and everbody knows it was made in the early 1930s during the financial depression

[Algrokoz]

he is so fucking awesome it hurts.

[eidius1989]

what joke r they talking about?

[wiqi22]

The Aristocrats or sophisticates

[MrFreeLibertarian]

Jon looks like a young Liberace in this video.

[DylanTownesDrake]

"Should I suck to this and diddle to this?" Hahahahaha

[xBillyTheKidx]

"lemme just give you a couple of poses so that i know the donkey will fit" best.

[FungusMossGnosis]

@LEV1ATHYN

No, this is clearly bridled intelligence, nothing unbridled about it.

[AlucardsNoLifeQueen]

i <3 jon stewart! fav. comedian ever!

[doonuter]

dstrube. you are a better debater than some of these other people. but you're still wrong. see, your mistake is thinking that it matters why stewart didn't tell the joke. it doesn't. if you don't like jon stewart, don't watch videos about him. its easy.

[joefarmhand]

dstrube calm down, your an idiot. and your obviously a republican ...but then i repeat myself

haha kidding ...that joke wasn't beneath me

[dstrube1]

This just confirms that Jon is an elitist schmuck. Keep this in mind as subtext when he refuses to tell the joke. "I'm too good to tell the joke. Oh Bob Saget did the joke? Well he does lots of crotch jokes, so him telling it is more the reason for me to not lower myself to telling the joke. I'm a star and that joke is beneath me."

[LokIArioch]

dude, are you serious? you obviously have no sense of irony or are a staunch pole-in-your-ass conservative who knows nothing of Stewart's work or style of humor to know that throughout this entire video he's being evasive-ironic. That's his shtick. I bet you watch Colbert and nod in agreement to everything he says, too.

[dstrube1]

Obviously anyone who disagrees with me and calls me a pole-in-my-ass conservative is a child molester, and I make it a point to not argue with child molesters.

See how much of a waste of time ad hominem attacks are? Try focusing more on arguing with my point instead of what kind of person you think I am (which you're very wrong about, by the way). Jon Stewart wasn't being ironic. Asshole != Ironic.Try watching the video again without your idolizing glasses on, and consider I might have a point.

[edlemur]

You make a logically flawed argument. You being a bible-thumping redneck think that people like Jon Stewart are below everything- the lowest of the low. So inherently, he would have to tell that joke as well as other kindergarten level jokes. Newsflash:

The bible-belt states have the lowest average IQs nationwide

[dstrube1]

Again with the assumption that I must be X-type of person, for that is the only explanation why I might make my complaint about Jon Stewart. Again provably dead wrong. Can no one offer a counter argument that addresses my point head on without having to resort to dismissing my point with an ad hoc character analysis on me? Seriously. Bonus points for staying on topic and not drifting to unrelated stats.

[edlemur]

Funny. You posted a paragraph-long argument against a single sentence and ignored the rest of my post. You set Stewart up as a straw man. You think that because he's a liberal, he's below everything. Its not as if refusing to tell a crude joke is a pompous elitist thing. It only takes an average sized ego. If it were a republican I'm pretty sure you would defend his stance for refusing to tell crude jokes.

[dstrube1]

"If it were a republican I'm pretty sure you would defend his stance... " And therein lies the heart of why you're mistaken. It's not a conservative political stance that irks me by Stewart. If he were republican, he'd still be an asshole (elitist schmucks aren't necessarily liberal) AND more of the people here who are supporting him would be on my side. Who then is blinded by politics? I'd love to give a more detailed response but can't with limit of characters here. So I pick your mistake out

[jerryhello100]

He's not an elitist at all. How does refusing to do something make someone an elitist? He isn't anti Bob Saget, he just doesn't feel like telling that joke, it isn't really his style.

[dstrube1]

jerryhello100, out of all the replies I've gotten, I like your response the most. You've responded directly to my comment without any ad hominems and without making any unsupportable excuses like "He was being ironic.". Your comment was concise and flawless. Thus, in light of your response, I completely retract my comment. Thank you.

[masterthehate2]

@jerryhello100 Bob saggot is a pathetic pile of steaming shit that talks about fucking kermit the frog. HAHAHA OH EM GEE HE'S FUCKING A MUPPET, HIS SHOW IS AWESOME.

If John Stewart (with his brains) wasn't anti-saget I'd be anti-stewart.

[jerryhello100]

@masterthehate2 I don't know, comics make fun of each other, but saget back in the day was pretty funny. But Jon isn't afraid of filth. He just made a joke last week about some politician who defended Anthony Wiener: "You should see some of the shit I've done. I I once banged a cat, and then ..." It was something like that.

[masterthehate2]

@jerryhello100 I'm not talking about filth. I'm talking about talent and I don't think it's hard to say that Saget is shit tier compared to any of the other comedians of his generation.

[jerryhello100]

@masterthehate2 Oh I don't think he's worse than "any other comedian of his generation", the fact that we've heard of him proves something. He isn't as good as Stewart, but some of his old stuff is funny, and I can't dislike someone after they've made me laugh a few times. Whatever, you don't have to like him, different strokes, as the cliche goes, for different folks. Take it easy, man.

[adronias]

He's not not telling the joke out of principle, you simpleton. He's being ironic, jesus you're fucking stupid.

[rainey53]

OOoooohh I would so blow Jon Stewart!! So sexilicious!

[thegunclub123]

Woo hoo! LAWRENCEVILLE, NJ!

[viridismonasteriense]

what happened to Jon? He looks so old now. Here he's suave and cool, and now he's giggly and grey. Not that I have anything against John. He rocks. I just noticed the difference in appearance that's all. He makes reference to his ageing all the time in his show! 'what happened to me?' LOL He's great.

[supernesreviews]

Well, you see, when time passes, people become older, and start to look older.

[viridismonasteriense]

lol yeah right 'people age' next you'll probably tell me that life is a sexually transmittant disease!

[nickdude09]

Yeah, it's called getting older?

[WinchesterQDouche]

I think it's called "aging".

[viridismonasteriense]

No, it's called 'noting the change in someone's appearance' and apparantly people think I'm not allowed to do that, no matter how hard I try to make it clear that it was an innocent joke. I was also trying to subtly comment on how his style of comedy has changed, but that too was lost in translation. Yes, he's aged. I KNOW THAT. I'm just noting in what way. Can't I do that?

Yeah, I think it's called 'growing'. Growing up that's what. Sorry if I'm being rude. I'm just annoyed at the moment.

[Amakillyou]

Humiliating Saget like that just makes me love Stewart even more.

[LaraUiara]

wow he looks hot in this video <3

[NuLLx42]

Jon looks hot in every video

[Alchemist777]

@NuLLx42

Yeah. He seems to be sweating alot.

[NuLLx42]

@Alchemist777

No I mean hot as in attractive. Not gay, just saying the man is very handsome.

[insertclevernickname]

@NuLLx42 Gold digging whore.

[acatisfinetoowut]

Jon's comedy too high class for this joke? Right? Right???????

[UniqueSingularity]

I went to see what the joke was and I completely agree with what jon Stewart says that 'joke' isn't really funny it's gross

[0AhmadMetallic0]

its funny when you hear it for the first time, like any other joke, but thats it. its shocking, it shocked me, i liked its brilliance but THATS IT.

if i already know how the joke is ending, theres no point in listening to it.. different people telling it in different versions and ways doesnt change a thing.

[Bumbleweather]

No soap, radio!!

Ha ha ha ha.

[gabino72]

FOX News is a world shame. Radio Rebelde and Chavez program are in the same league with FOX

[anon3415]

FOX used to be a valid news channel with an admitted right-wing lean. Now they have replaced the news with conspirecy-theorist-wackos who make Limbaugh seem centrist. They are responsible for broadcasting all Palins strange thoughts like "death panels." Obama's proposal makes socializes health care an OPTION, not mandatory.

[gabino72]

anon3415: You are right!

[megamaniac76]

"Murdoch owned porn station."

They really hate that Fox has disrupted their media monopoly. I love it!!!

[MercenarySlick]

I used to like Jon Stewart but his show is getting fucking pathetically repetitive and stale.

We get it, you hate Republicans, you hate Fox news. Say something else.

[PCvillage]

wat joke!!???

[mascnz]

The Aristocrats

[PCvillage]

am i supposed to write "the aristocrats joke" in google or something? thanks anyway

[86koza86]

look up bob sagets the aristocrats - its the filthiest joke / story you will ever here

[picturetakerperson]

he is yummy, and smart and awesome in general.

[PamK36]

I think I got whiplash from all those camera changes.

[anestheticroses]

pause at 1:23

[thekittensx]

why?

[anestheticroses]

his face is super funny

[MrDarrendoss]

wha

[digitalpretzel]

he is one of the funniest men alive.

[riparianlife97701]

I want that makeup artist. I'm completely straight, but for a brief moment, I found myself attracted to the tiny man.

[methogonzo]

HAHA a woman stops by the door, probably to tell jon something, and then hears him asking which camera to suck to and disappears hahaha

[ambitiouspants]

Good lord, that man is wearing a lot of make-up. I knew this intellectually, but it's funny seeing it applied. Oh Jon, I love you anyway. XD

[anajcrubi]

I love this man.