Added: 2 years ago
From: TheOnDemandCoach
Views: 55,563
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  • Isn't talking about someone's home/plans/future a little personal for a first meeting? I mean, I would almost be offended if people were that nosy.

  • @JohnnieNaked It's not about prying, but simple questions about things that people actually care about. "Where are you from? Do you grow up around here? What do you and any other staffers/neighbors/friends do after work hours or on the weekend?" Start basic, and as rapport grows, you'll know if and how deep to take the conversation. Thanks for your thoughts!

  • @JohnnieNaked It's analogous to meeting someone on an airplane. You usually can talk readily about these kinds of things with strangers on a plane too. The fact is most people love to talk about themselves. And if they let you into your home, chances are they trust you enough to talk to you about their home and family.

  • The values inherit in the subject matter in this video around which rapport is built is not universal, I cannot build rapport with some one according to these values in a "good" or PC way if they have no home or family or job.

  • People are so programmed they cannot communicate with each other without being mechanical and PC. There is nothing wrong with a person i just met telling me their job sucks, why would the conversation go down hill. It seems to me a lot of people have a hard time dealing with reality the way it is that they need to communicate with each other in a mechanical prescribed way.

  • @regsimms ...there's a difference between micro and macro. what works for 90% of people might still not work for a single subject - yet it works for 90%. I rather have "knowledge" about 90% with inaccuracies than no knowledge at all.

    if you want 100% accurate answers from your teacher, study math not people.

  • u gotta do it subtlely NLP that is this guy is over the top

  • This shit doesn't work. Trust me. You just seem like an overbearing, persistent weirdo that just can't get off peoples back and stop asking them stupid questions

  • @M747202172763

    You have obviously never been a sales person. If you listened to what he said you would have heard that it was all about timing. You cannot just walk up to someone and ask those five questions. You must build up to it and do it in a subtle manner, not a "oh I just want to know everything about you" manner.

  • @markusariliu The things he's saying are things any person with a social life has known since a young age. We all know how to build rapport, but alot of us are just not familiar of the word itself. Building rapport is something that humans inherit naturally by socializing

  • @M747202172763

    The idea isn't to simply restate things you already know. First you don't "inherit" something by doing something. you learn it when you socialize is what you meant. And the simple truth is that yes most people can build rapport, but are clueless to the inner workings of it. and, that is what this video is about. This is to help better understand the inner workings of something we already use and then use it better.

  • @markusariliu Yes, I agree, a subtle approach is best. You may notice that the participants are about to practice this exercise as the video comes to an end. The reponse is this: strangers feel a 7-8 relationship (scale of 1-10, with 10 being best friend), and they have also imitated the physical gestures and tone of their partner without even realizing it. Pretty amazing stuff.

  • @M747202172763 In more than four years and hundreds of seminars and practical application, my only request is that you "give it a shot" if you really want to build rapport. You don't have to agree with it - these are conversatins around the values of those you're looking to connect with. Values are important to everyone, and when you understand them, you can build a stronger relationship. It does work better than immediately and violently criticizing someone's work.

  • This is interesting. I have noticed that asking someone about work is a potential conversation non-starter.

  • This seminar sounds so pathetic. He's basically telling people obvious shit about social communication and trying to seem like he's captain genius or something. SMH

  • Its very important to know the right values that every individual must poses. Thanks a lot for posting this video. Everyone must maintain a good attitude to have that positive approach in dealing with life. God speed guys...

  • So don't mention work, unless they like their job. Mention family, unless they're divorced. Mention the future, unless they don't have plans. Talk about their home, if you want to sound like a creepy stalker.

    Just don't mention you're a lifestyle coach, or they'll know you're full of shit.

  • @KapStuf That's certainly a good perspective, especially considering two years ago the economy was nothing like it is today. These five values are core to who people are, regardless of how good or bad things are. These values define people. It's NOT about being a creepy stalker, but understanding where people are from or their background - not their address...as clearly stated in the video.

  • Considering how many are losing their homes these days he may want to update hit mechanical routine to pretend to understand people.

  • @ShadeToSun Thanks for your insight, though it's not so much a mechanical routine as it is focusing on what's important to people...their values and what makes them who they are. It's not mechanical to ask "How are you?" but most people do this without even listening to the response, while most responses are mechanical: "Good. Fine. Okay." Instead, let's start a meaningful conversation as opposed to the "What do you do?" conversation.

  • this helped me a lot..thanks!

  • I missed it the first time through, its the very beginning when you say it about their values. Of course if I find out what your values are I can appreciate something about you and then we can form rapport. I would image that they get it in the live show through the role-play that follows the video.

  • @Noospherebusiness - This is the conversation starter for synchornizing the communication - through body language and rhythm. Try it with a few people, and you'll notice that the conversation goes in a strong, positive direction. Let me know how it goes for you!

  • omfg i saw this guy and hes fucking funny

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