Added: 2 years ago
From: boiergabriel
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  • Does this woman know how many males are absolutly CLUEless about what they should get their girlfriend/wife for Valentine's Day/Christmas/their birthday/anniversary, and spend weeks DREADING about whether or not she'll like their present?

    If a guy is in that situation she should damn well speak her mind.

    Just give him a list of a lot of things she'd like to get, and let him pick whatever he wants from it.

    That way, she gets what she wants, but it's still a surprize.

    And everyone's happy.

  • Good God, Dr. Pat is full of SHIT! The ONLY way to get more out of your relationship is to COMMUNICATE! GOD! Do we have to go back to Ethical Living in high school and use the "I" statements? Believe it or not, THAT SHIT WORKS! If you want more time, just say "Honey, I really love you. I think we need more time together." EASY! STRAIGHTFORWARD AND EASY!!!

  • "Femanine men talk sh-LOVE!"

    Nice save there, woman.

  • i don't think i've laughed much harder than watching that lady bomb that joke @ 1:05 haha.

  • 1:54 - 2:01 Great, so I behave how you tell me to, and end up getting married to a person who loves me for the set of rules that you have taught me, and not actually for ME. And that's going to be a happy marriage, is it?

  • 2:31

    (O ) ---- ( O)

  • luckily he died! hahahahahahahaha

  • Is that song from the firewalking from Timesplitters? Sounds like it.

  • @grabus45654 timesplitters i like

  • The best part (and by best I mean so horrific that it makes me laugh in rejection of it) is 3:19. The sad little "no" from the widow as the camera cuts to the audience that's laughing for the same reason I am.

  • luckily he died XD

  • doc Pat is a fucking psycho!

  • Comment removed

  • is tina wearing a thong? 8:54

  • 4:40 girl looks like jim carrey

  • Huh huh....they touched wood...huh huh...

  • I love experts and their broad generalizations. "In this country, people love slogans". That's also a slogan. Fuck me.

  • @RedDaVincy Well, it's not like he's pulling it out of his ass. People like hearing concise advice/quotes/maxims because the alternative (expounding) takes too much time or effort for something that can (purportedly, at least) be easily understood/repeated/memorized by rote. That's also a generalization but it's true for many people. Why else would we have slogans? Generalizations can be true. For example, people love kittens. Am I wrong? I certainly can't be if I'm on Youtube.

  • @MsOtakuYoshi I know, but it's obvious. Don't need to be a rocket scientist. Being herded as a manipulable sheep leaves a bad taste in my mouth anyway.

  • Women are such dumb beasts...

  • this rituals require you to lose your mind just like religion...

  • Just by hearing her she cut off my dick and killed me

  • God, I feel so enraged when I see this shit. Con-artists make me so enraged.

  • Whenever there's an awkward silence that someone makes like with that dick cutting off joke - I like to make, like, a background cough/throat clear to make it more awkward for them.

  • @Invisibrah

    I prefer the "joyless laughter" myself. Steve Carell-style.

  • @Diemedes

    Yeah, but that just isn't as natural.

  • you know the tree you got that lumber from was strong once. Then someone took a chainsaw to it's kneecaps. Funny how that works.

  • Proof that the human race is just a bunch of monkeys.

  • Oooo! I'm actually seeking a slave/master relationship...

  • Dr Pat can get fucked.

  • @FantasmaBAnco correction she cant get fucked

  • This, like the video of that cute girl failing to break a piece of plywood back and forth, is painful to watch. I can't believe there are people so stupid as to take these hacks seriously. She can't make a good punchline! How can she make a good relationship?!

  • 6:45, You know how you raise energy, lady? You eat food. Energy is a very finite concept- stop using it as a catch-all term for your mythical bullshit.

  • How did they do the trick at the end?

  • @loudcolors One stands on a chair or kneels, he mouths the words, and the other does the voiceover. =)

  • Imagine if your husband/boyfriend went to a seminar where some douchebag had "vow" to stop not only asking for your time, conversation, or sex...he vows to not even WANT it. Yeah, sounds great.

    I'd be pretty fucking pissed at the asshole that told him that's how to behave in a relationship...and doubly pissed at him for not only being a gullible, weak-willed, self-absorbed idiot, but for PAYING for the privilege.

  • luckily, he died!!!! roflmao

  • Wtf is that "advice" with that women pledge of being worthless, soulless, automatrons who refuse to communicate?

  • "Give up my wants!?" Is she fucking nuts? "Yes, ladies, erase everything about your personality. That is the secret to happiness!" WTF!?

  • Tania's pretty hot.

  • Why would a man not want me verbally asking for stuff like sex and cuddles? It's 10 times easier than figuring it out on his own. And fuck if i'm not going to demand sex when i damn well please. If he doesn't want it he can lay back and think of England for all i care.

  • @proprodigySD Bless this post.

  • @proprodigySD I can get behind verbally asking for the things you want in plain English, but if you demand sex from a guy that doesn't want it and make him lay back and think of England, that's rape just the same as if the roles were reversed.

  • @KalamityKrisAnimates If he's up, he's up for it. I think it's fine if you're in an established relationship. There's always going to be times when one partner doesn't mind keeping the other happy.

  • @proprodigySD Never listen to women like this "pat" person. There comes a point in certain relationships where ALL we want from you is to know what the fuck you want!!

  • I feel like walking on fire now.

  • That old guy TOTALLY liked the SHIT out of the sexy broad... He SO tried kissing her when they hugged.

  • @upplsuckimcool16 HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAH ya right at the end looks like he tried twice 

  • If im afraid of tina.

  • If the recent Catherine Kieu Becker incident tells us anything, Dr. Pat, it's that cutting off dicks isn't funny anymore. At least, not the way you deliver the joke...

  • @cyanmanta When was it funny?

  • @itwaschris Count all the John Wayne Bobbitt jokes that were made back in the 90's. Apparently it was once considered hilariously funny, and to some twisted people it still is.

  • I laughed at Penn's "luckily he died" joke

  • God, that lady crosses the line from stupid and pointless with her comments that are just nasty and unpleasant. She acts like talking assertively, in ways she thinks are "cute", "funny", or "unexpected" is helping these people, when she obviously is only after an easy paycheck and a sense of empowerment for herself. She's the only licensed psychotherapist featured, and her "program" seems by far the most disgusting and unhealthy.

  • Hopefully, she'll die

  • I wanted to slap every guest in this show except the science guy.

  • Wow, i really hate that fake native song in that New Jersey accent.

  • Steve-o did that shit on top of a boiling aluminium sheet, just after being smacked in to it by swinging boulders on fire of course

  • "Fire washes the skin off the bone and the sin off the soul. It cleans away the dirt. And my momma didn't raise herself no dirty boy."

  • That young woman with the blue shirt is very pretty & cute.

  • Plus: 6:16 - tortoise on a stick.

  • 3:15 - 3:18 holy fucking shit.

  • selp-help sounds like Keynesian economics, keep doing the same thing over again believing the next time it will be different

  • @Jebusrulez

    That sounds more like insanity. Maybe that's what Keynesian economics is.

  • I know how these women can get married. Blowjob, kitchen, sandwich.

  • I want to get paid for being an asshole too.....

  • God, I bet that woman at the end who said she'd be a new person would be devastated to see this video.

    Luckily, she died!

    Suicide!

  • "Feminine men talk sh... love"

  • 3:25-3:28!!!

  • Damn that scientist is sexy

  • I fucking hate this fat old skank who thinks she's a relationship expert.

  • @Cornwiggle I know right! all she's stating is hte obvious!

  • I lost my Covenant relationship when the Master Chief killed my spouse.

  • @tinu96 ROFLMAO :)

  • @tinu96 lmfao

  • @tinu96 yes... yes, yes, yes.

  • @tinu96 well..Luckily he/she died !

  • @tinu96 hahaha

  • Touch wood?

  • wow people are fucking dumb as shit

  • "it's time for the ass holes to fire walk" XD:)

  • Love the bullshit series. Doubtless "self help" is a huge industry filled with quacks. But lumping Tony Robbins in this category is wrong. He is guy of substance with very concrete, practical insights to specific issues. His "TOYL" "time management" system I have used for 5 years and I have to say it has dramatically improved my effectiveness and peace of mind. If I had to choose never having received my LLM in law or never having learned the TOYL system, I'd dump my LLM in a heartbeat.

  • Anyone who gets called "Doctor" and isn't an MD or dentist? Grade inflation/title self-promotion. Disgusting.

  • @NixonisLord What about, you know, everyone with a Ph.D.?

  • mersi gabriel

    

  • luckily he died!

    wtf

  • This is beyond humorous, this is fucking scary.

    The broad spectrum of human beings is so incredible, the simplicity of these people is breathtaking.

    "Luckily he died" I've never heard such a supposedly helpful remark in my entire life.

    "It makes you want to cut their dicks off!!!!! /points finger" I never laughed so fucking hard at such a horrible bomb on stage, I will remember this video for as long as I live for sure.

  • ....god. That Pat Allen woman was just harsh and useless when it came to relationship advice. And this is coming from someone who avoids giving advice on anything more than trivial matters because they find that their advice is often shitty or faulty.

  • 3.46 hahaha

  • To think they could just decide to change their lives rather than to pay someone to tell them what to do with something they know nothing about.

  • 8:21 I feel bad for that guy. He's been waiting for this moment his whole life.

  • @rayalvarado2010 It's been a month since I made that comment. I feel even worse for the guy now. It's hard to watch, but I keep coming back to see it again.

  • @rayalvarado2010 I'm back again 5 days later... I can't stop watching!

  • @rayalvarado2010 They absolutely destroyed that guy! He's strutting across the coals and then skips into the water as the voice over guy is ripping him to shreds.

  • STEVEN SEAGAL DID PORN IN THE 80s

  • 6:27 I touch my wood every morning.

  • Luckily, there is Penn and Teller!

  • "Luckily he died"? Really? Are you fucking joking me?

  • @ForrestJ88 I know right?!!

  • That ending freaked me out so much

  • That woman's "lucky he died!" was painful to watch, geez.

    But it's okay, because I smiled at the Tenn & Peller swap at the very end of the show. :3

  • "Luckily he died!"

    Good god.

  • Where do i find crazy women like this to give them shitty advice for a pretty penny

  • I'd fuck Tina

  • if that bitch said "luckily, she died" (referring to my future wife) i'd smack the shit out of her.

  • God, I hate people. Why are most of them so damn stupid.

  • @HBKDave2007 thank god most people are dead, right? lol

  • CUTTING OFF HIS DICK AND KILLING HIM

  • I like really white people who embrace native american traditions and spiritualisms without knowing any context of them it's not annoying or mildly offensive at all.

    Sarcasm aside it's at least hilariously ironic to know that these same people are usually a part of the religion that called those same traditions and spiritualisms paganistic satan worship.

  • @LastOptionPils just like my mom. she says reiki is the devil, but then gets into holistic medicine

  • people like that make me disgusted in a way to be an american.

  • 1:15 "Feminine men talk shi..LOVE."

  • best ending:)

  • Pat Allen is doing the most unfunny ripoff of a Bill Cosby Routine about when he first got married.

    Classy. - _-

  • 8:08 she is self helping me get a boner.

    Thanks Tina =)

  • penn was wayy wrong, that woman is a hillarious comedian, she makes up the most silly crap.

  • Lmfao "It doesn't mean anything" OF COURSE IT MEANS SOMETHING!! You just don't know what it means...

  • I can't believe that quack said Luckily he died. omg

  • BEST ENDING EVER

  • Tina is bangable.

  • @mauricioush I'd bang

  • /facepalm...

  • luckily he died because she looks like Michael Jackson

  • @wahidullahbhat hahahaha

  • @wahidullahbhat lol i'll kill myself too if my wife looks like michael jackson

  • I thought the definition of doing the same thing and expecting a different result was called insanity.

  • @M0US3P0T4TO It is!

  • I - for some reason - loved the physicist. Maybe it was his accent, I don't know...

  • "Luckily, he died." Why didn't anyone run up and smack her with a chair, right there?

  • @1337kimozabi It's such a lucky affair when your husband dies!! :D

  • Luckily, he died.

  • just give people a decent education in science and basic psychology 

  • 2:31, lady in black....... derp!

  • I'm going to hell for laughing at 3:40.

  • @Whatareyoulookingat1 hell? thats the place with the red guy right? .....fuck it ill see you there

  • Tina can walk across my burning coal any day she wants, if you know what I mean

    (Whose Line is it anyway reference)

  • Whoa, the ending was trippy.

  • Penn sure does know how to tell people that people have died.

  • Dumb bitches are always in there videos.

  • If they want to walk on sharp things, go ask Jim Rose, he does it with swords made into a ladder

  • that retarded guy tried to walk slow and like leapt off at the end

  • cut off their dick and kill em!! gets me every time XD

  • Wow... she couldn't break the board.. And that guy that actually tried to go across the coals relatively slowly... ended up running in the end... AND that one guy with the rebar was almost choked! :P

    I feel more sad than anything for these people, that THIS kind of thing is the deepest most meaningful events in their lives....

    Still, favourite episode yet!

  • To get confidence go to a PUA seminar!

  • Fucking sheep. People like these assholes make me loose hope in humanity. Luckily we have Penn & Teller to tell the truth and stay above the lies.

  • But Luckily, he died......... jesus christ...

  • Why won't those people realize pot is ten bucks a joint?

  • @Psychochaos3 Damn you buying some expensive pot 

  • @Psychochaos3 they are fucking momo's, they likely think pot makes you dumb and is for losers and makes you talk to your dog n shit. Although I do tend to talk to my cat more when im high :O

  • 0:51 is the worst bomb ever

  • @Psychochaos3 Because running away isn't the answer.

  • CUTTING OF WHAT? AND WHAT?

  • You'll never get me to walk on burning hot coals!! 

  • If George Washington was alive to see things like this he would be desgusted.

    Luckily, he died!

  • For one moment I thougth that Teller did talk

  • I studied self help materials and I'm making a lot more money than I used to. I'm self employed and I have passive income from the internet. I never walked on fire or did anything in these videos. I never went to a seminar or paid a lot of money. These penn & teller videos are bullshit, not the self help industry.

  • @XanaduZune So you basically completely discount anything YOU did to make your success happen and attribute it all to the self help industry??? How deluded can you be? It's all you! What brings success can be summed up in four simple words - constant action and persistence. That's it, I just saved you all thousands of dollars...

  • As a Native American... All I need to say is, what a stupid bitch.

  • @xMalnoia

    is the chant even Native American?

  • @yugai15

    Seeing how ignorant that woman is, I'm going to assume not. If it is, it's definitely not from my tribe.

  • @yugai15

    Probably not. But it doesn't matter cause it doesn't mean anything.

  • Both Bullshit and Mythbuster both busted the whole walking on fire thing.

  • Cut off communication and give up whatever it is you want. Yeah, THAT solves problems.

  • wow was teller does a good impression

  • "It's Native American, it doesn't mean anything."

  • They will put people in jail for pot, and yet let these people rob foolish people blind, can someone explain that too me??? And the old hag doc wants the woman not to ask for things WTF?? Umm talking about your needs is what YOU NEED TO DO!!! If you don't ask how the freak is the guy supposed to know??? Doing the same thing over and over, and thinking it will end differently means YOUR CRAZY! So stop being a freaking nut job and do something better with your time!

  • What a bitch "luckily he died".

  • @homelessdude111 The woman would be lucky if that woman died so she couldn't of basically robbed her. These people for the most part are lonely I think, they feel good at this things becaus there is a sense of community, so freaking join some group I don't understand why people waste their cash on this crap...

  • passive-aggressive=oxymoron

  • Walking on coals: such a load. Ever walk onto a beach on a massively bright and sunny day? Sand feels nice and soft for the first few yards, but then it starts to feel like your feet are being put to an iron. Mind over matter? Well, we really do not have much of a choice because our feet are essentially flat stumps with tissue . . . which contains a lot of water. Water has to heat up. It is not a matter of consciousness, rather it is simply the fact our feet need to heat up a bit.