Added: 1 month ago
From: therapelady
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  • But you had sex with him beforeee!!! Now thats stupid.

  • This is soooo true. I've heard plenty of these comments.

    Rape culture, anyone?

  • This is one of the reasons why it took me such a long time to come forward,,, I was raped. I know that it wasn't my fault...

  • "It's not rape if it's your kid.. sex education.." TEHE

  • this is depressing that shit like this actually get said to victims :( Thanks for making this video :D

  • "men are hunters" OH MY ROFL this is so bitterlarious

  • thank you so much for making this video... it took courage. i shared and i hope it opens up people's minds!

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO. You guys GET it...it's so, so refreshing to see people like you..smart and with a sense of humor (though believe me, I know you're not making this stuff up, unfortunately). I'm showing this to all my friends.

  • If only none of this was true. We live in a society that denies the existence of rape because we don't want to accept that things like this happen. Once we admit that a person we know has been raped, we have to admit that the horror stories we read in the news or watch in movies actually happen. We live in a rape culture that blames the victim (look at the NYT article last summer that blamed the 11 year old girl for being gang raped by 17 men) and turns a blind eye to the rapist. Unconscionable.

  • @Caitlincacophony3 Wrong. We live in a society where women use rape as resource to regret and vengeance. All this "deny the existence" of bullshit has made women think that if someone even accidentally touches them, it's sexual assault, rape, or whatever else you would throw at it.

  • @BlitzMaulPwn ...no. You're just reinforcing rape culture by saying that claims of rape are illegitimate because a person once abused the legal system. Not all women do that (actually, very few of them do), so rejecting all stories of rape, abuse and assault is ridiculous. Rape, abuse and assault DO happen. Stop blaming the victim and start holding the aggressor accountable for his actions.

  • @BlitzMaulPwn That's what makes this so hard. False rape claims make real rapes look like they aren't real, and fake rapes look real. Tough. Life ruining either way.

  • Ma, this triggered so much on me, but thank you for puting this online

  • i honestly rarely hear any of this usually people have the utmost respect for rape victims except it rap music but i try to ignore the words there...

  • Great video I like your activist spin on the meme

  • @sparklemycitybabyx3 We are actually discussing that today on facebook.com/therapelady. Check ot out! You dont have to be a member of facebook to see the discussion, but if you are "like" us and ask all your questions!

  • @sparklemycitybabyx3 age, drugs, etc

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem Not just that. Arousal doesn't equal consent, so I girl can still take advantage of a guy with an erection (or even without)

  • @Name2BDecidededLater why did you write this to me?

  • @sparklemycitybabyx3

    You also have a hole. Question answered?

  • @maniacalmania no...

  • @mikeyp7283 You have issues. Smh.

  • thank you for making light of such a serious issue that needs to be addressed. it's sad that people say such ignorant things to victims of such a horrible crime.

  • @chescaleigh Thank you for your video as well. We were inspired by your approach of discussing/shedding light on ignorance people experience in reality.

  • This is garbage

  • @morningwould Thank you for your opinion.

  • yes i had some things said to me like this :"(

  • hey, they also cover things said to male rape victims too.

  • I know it's suppose to be serious but LOL man it's funny

  • @everydayimshuffling4 and @doubledevil The question is why would people click a link about rape expecting it actually could be funny? And since it is not, what is the real purpose of the video?

  • If this was supposed to be funny, you failed miserably. Not really a funny topic.

  • Was this to be funny...?? Yeah this video is awful. 

  • It's horrible that people actually say these things seriously.

  • I hope this wasn't supposed to be funny...it wasn't...

  • @trupoeticz1986 This video is mainly to make others aware of the ridiculous things they say to rape/sexual assault victims.....not to be funny and yes @girlstalkinsmack you are spot on

  • So.......was this a like a PSA or was it supposed to funny?

  • Has anyone watched their part two video yet?

  • I volunteer as a rape crisis companion in my county and I know that people actually do say all of this and ...worse... to rape victims every day. Thanks for starting the conversation and helping to turn the tide of rape culture.

    (Our volunteer coordinator referenced your video during training and I'm glad that she did. I've shared it along.)

  • i hear this shit way too often where im from & its disgusting. especially the "men r hunters" bit. because they have penises they cant control them selves and i should understand. ever heard of rubbing one out u shitface.

  • you can't rape a prostitute, that's like shoplifting xD

  • Thhat is so ignorant.....:)

  • difficult to hear but thank you for making this <3

  • The one I hear most often is "everything happens for a reason." Urgh! I wish I had more to say besides thank you.<3

  • Well put. Thanks.

  • @swaggerofthedagger The purpose of this video is not to discourage living or not even to discourage reporting. If you ever know someone who does not feel like living there is a suicide crisis hotline at 877.885.4673 in the U.S. The world needs people who know better, like you, to stick around always:)

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  • @TheTemiaR You are right to find the statements in the video absolutely in poor taste, just as all the other "shit x says to y" videos contain statements better left unsaid. The reality is people literally DO say these things to survivors of sexual assault, so why wouldnt we make this video? Should this experience which happens to 1 in 5 women and 1 in 33 men (and that is just in the United States) go ignored just so people won't be offended?

  • @swaggerofthedagger It's more like behind there backs.

  • @swaggerofthedagger yes i have had some things like that said to me. I am a rape victim/survivor feb. 18, 2006

  • @swaggerofthedagger Constantly

  • What the fuck is up with that girl / guy?

  • nice job!

  • Awesome video you guys seriously deserve an award for making this. People really need to know its not okay to say stupid stuff like this even if they are joking when someone shares something as horrible of an experience like that to a friend they it shouldn't be taken as a joke to the confesse.

  • Thank you. @greendayfecer 

  • ANOTHER PIECE OF BRILLIANT SOCIAL COMMENTARY! Well done ladies. Keep opening up the dialogue. It's the only way we can CHANGE the discourse.

  • sharing,

     again.

  • That part, 'Why aren't you thinking about what words like that are doing to this family?" or any other part when they try to blame it on the victim, or turn it against them! I hate it!

  • This is a hell of an awareness builder/eye-opener.

  • Thanks for posting this. People say these, and much worse things. Glad your building awareness!

  • "why were you out at night?", "should've taken a picture so we could've identified him!", "well, you do kinda dress up like a whore on a daily basis.", "he raped you and you were wearing that?".

    kinda extreme but i've seen it.

  • Thank you. :)

    just a thought I had while watching- what about something along the lines of "How can it be rape if you're married to her/him?"

  • @boughtflowersmyself they covered that. "What do you mean, 'rape'? I'm your husband."

  • loved your clip! it really inspired us.

  • Wow, people actually say those things.

  • Wow! Everyone needs to see this.

  • Fucking thank you.

  • Thank you for this. There's needs to be more open and frank dialogue about real issues.

  • Thank you for posting this. There is so much truth behind what was said here. Again, thank you.

  • Thanks fer putting this up. Consider a trigger warning? I couldn't watch it the whole way though.

  • @unrequited416 I think it is satire and commentary. Both.

  • I think this video is genius.

  • My friend got raped, she's a slut.... lmao

  • Thank you so much for making this.

  • I'm just disgusted and on the break of tears! It's horrible to think that someone would say these things to someone in real life, but I know someone's doing it right now! I like the video, and this really needs to get around. People talk major unneeded shit about rape victims, male and female. I'm glad you put men and children in there.

  • OMG, dead at "It's not rape if it's your kid."

  • Wow, I never would have thought that this kind of content would fit well into the "shit people say" meme, but this was executed really well. It's pretty overwhelming to hear all of those excuses and dismissals all in a row like that. Very powerful. That being said, I was cracking up at the R. Kelly part.

  • Thank you! I'm glad someone could finally appreciate my signature vocal stylings on a classic r&b hit :p It probably is overwhelming to watch just as it is overwhelming to people who experience it. @koyakat

  • really ? how is ppl gettin raped funny yea this shit ppl say is dead

  • @REALTRUEJOURNEY you're not seeing the point here. It's not supposed to be funny it's supposed to be educational to people who aren't educated about rape culture. People throw around the word rape as a verb for doing something cool or winning as if it isn't a traumatic experience that happens to people daily.

  • needs more...

    "not to victim blame, but..."

    "what did she say to provoke him?"

    "you need to think about what you could've done to prevent this"

    "he could've killed you, consider yourself lucky!"

    "it's obvious that their actions intersect"

    "why do people purposely put themselves in dangerous situations?"

    "act dumb and dumb things will happen to you"

    "what's rape culture?"

    some sort nonsensical analogy about getting into a car accident and not wearing your seatbelt.

  • @girlstalkinsmack how do I upvote this 10,000,000+ times?!

  • @girlstalkinsmack

    They should use all of that for "Shit Everybody Says to Rape Victims Part 2".

  • @girlstalkinsmack what a gay comment. needs more "its not rape its suprise sex" or "you didnt get raped you cheated"

  • @mikeyp7283 Just out of curiosity, how can a comment be gay? It has no gender. Using "gay" to mean "stupid" is extremely insulting, because it puts a negative connotation on "gay".

  • @liveoutloud88 using gay to mean gender is insulting it means happy.

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem Actually, using gay to mean gender is just ignorant. Gay (in its meaning as happy) came to be used as a euphemism for homosexual, sort of like we use terms like "dapper" or "flamboyant" today, changing the meaning most commonly associated with the word.

  • @liveoutloud88 you're the one who implied that gay means gender. i was mocking you because it actually means a sexual preference. and if gay changes from happy to sexual preference, then why can't it change to mean lame?

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem No, I implied that a video, having no gender, could not possibly be attracted to someone of the same gender (thus, gay). And lame is also an insult. The point is that using gay as an insult is insulting to gay people. End of story.

  • @liveoutloud88 they aren't gay they are homosexual. maybe if they didn't want to be insulted they shouldn't have claimed the word gay for their own use.

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem That makes no sense, but by all means, go to great lengths to justify your homophobic remarks if it makes you feel better about yourself. 

  • @liveoutloud88 only because you're too dumb to understand

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem I think it's you that's too dumb to understand. Language evolves yes, but using gay as an insult or to mean stupid is not a linguistic evolution, it is using the term, in the meaning it has today (homosexual), to insult people. Also, the term wasn't originally an insult, thus your argument makes no sense. They had no way of knowing that the term would be used by homophobes like you to mean stupid or undesirable.

  • @liveoutloud88 when i say something is gay i am using to mean lame and that is it. you can't be the judge of what everyone's intentions are.

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem That's my point, it isn't an evolution in the language to use someone's identity as an insult. You're still using it to mean gay is bad, and that's what's offensive.

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem the fuck are you talking about?

  • @karina5186 i was having a conversation with somebody. fuck off.

  • @thinkhappythoughtsem Sorry if my calling you out on being several different levels of offensive is upsetting you. Lame means crippled. Gay as a slang term means homosexual. This video has many, many messages, and one of them is that words can fucking hurt.

  • People actually say this!

  • great video, thanks for sharing the message

  • @gloopyptitsa Thank you for your feedback and the questions/concerns you raised. There's definitely no intent to hurt anyone in making this video. Everyone is going to consume it differently. The phrase "trigger warning" was unfamiliar to (at least one of) us prior to the release of this video. It is an interesting concept but other sites (like SlutWalk.org's Facebook) have posted it with such a warning and people with similar reactions have ignored it.

  • @HOMEOFNONA Point taken about survivor terminology. At the same time, that terminology can influence the way someone watches the video instead of consuming it for what it is in their own way.

  • This is even sadder because people really say and believe things like this.

  • thank you for this video!

  • There is something wrong with you if you think about rape so much you thought "Let's make a funny video about it!!"

  • @MaleOrderBride There is something wrong with you is you find this funny! O_O

  • @MaleOrderBride I don't think their purpose was to make a "funny" video about rape. I think their purpose was to use something everyone is watching to call awareness to a torturous phenomenon: victim blaming. If you're raped, your sexual history goes under attack. These ladies are brilliant to call attention to this. And if they used a bit of humor to help us watch it, hopefully some of us can see our reflection in it and NOT say this kind of shit when someone tells us they've been attacked!

  • @MaleOrderBride I think you've missed the point.

  • how many times can i dislike a video?

  • awful

    awful

    awful

  • Thanks, ladies, for exposing all of these stupid statements that have been rolled out a billion times too often. You go, girls.

  • This is horrible

  • Heartbreaking :(

  • @gloopyptitsa I think contextual presentation would shape/direct conversation instead of dialogue occuring naturally, without judgement, so people can learn from each other's agreeing/disagreeing/hurts/exp­eriences/opinions. If the creators put context, people would feel there's an "appropriate" way to act instead of consuming it for what it is in their own way and, possibly, taking part in a conversation that can take on its own direction.

  • @ILoveYoux0Ox Do you mean the statements in the video are true nowadays? Or that it is true that people say these things?

  • goood joob guys! actually pretty true nowadays. i told my friend it wudntve been considered rape if she didnt sleep around do much.

  • like honour killing but less extreme still sick!

  • This is sadly accurate...

  • This sadly accurate. Very sad :(.

  • This should be a PSA. SO many people I know have heard things like this.

  • Well done but many don't like to be called victims and prefer survivors.

  • @muchcontractforyou Your being on this planet makes a difference for the good because you know better. We need more people like you who say this is not ok.

  • THIS WAS VERY PAINFUL TO WATCH.

    fuckfuckfuck I dont want to live on this planet.

    People actually say shit like this.

    FUCK

  • Awesome work. Fantastic satire. Well done, and thank you.

  • This is really, really good, everyone acted so well, they didn't say things with sarcasm, they said it like the people who use these lines as if they are true. Which is tough for a lot of people. But no, I like this, very much, and look forward to the ones you continue to make, and videos in general. But yeah, maybe a trigger warning, I didn't think about how bad actually "hearing" these would be. I only see most of these through text, usually.

  • Bravo, ladies. Bravo.

  • YOU DA BEST shit like this needs to be talked about

  • And this is why only a few people know I was raped.

  • The one about wearing jeans, that's one i hear all the time.

  • Thank you for this - important and more is always needed. Some that I received - and you LET him?? What did he have a gun? Didn't you fight back? etc etc.

  • Thank you!

  • YOU SOUND LIKE A BOY

  • Thank you for making this video. It's time we all stood yo against rape rather than confining it and blaming the victim!!!

  • Great work. I started ticking off all the lines I've heard before. You've run the gamut, including male rape, which I've never heard about in India. Cheers.

  • Thank you. 

  • I can think of at least a half dozen awful things people have said to me in addition to these. Excellent video, absolutely fantastic.

  • I hate when people say these things. Like you are the fuckin' authority on rape.

  • @squirrelywrath There was a result headline about an Australian woman raping her daughter for "sex education" literally over the weekend.

  • I really have a heard time believing that people say 90% of this O.o

    I mean people are dumb but they are not THAT dumb

    You can not rape them if they are your kid? Ya sure. Normal people totally say that.

  • @squirrelywrath2 arguments like that are pretty common actually. I can't name a specific case but if you give defense statements a listen then you'll hear ridiculous things like being tossed around. It doesn't make sense... but it really is used.

  • @loveinlasvegas some of the arguments in there I could see coming up in the case of date rape (though it is still a punch in the face worthy offence), I could imagine the one about being drunk (that is unfortunately one I have heard people use), but a lot of those are just too much. It is like the difference between hearing someone did not want to use a water fountain that a black guy used, versus hearing a judge scream racial obscenities in open traffic court.

  • LMAO! I was touched when I was little and dealt with the issue, so I found this INCREDIBLY funny! Good job! *applause*

  • Let the dog in already.

  • so good!!!

  • I like this clip. Two suggestions. You might want to put a Trigger Warning on the page. Also, this is not a satire. Satire is the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. This is a commentary, taking a critical look at an ideology prevalent in the culture. Keep up the good work!

  • This is actually sort of a hard video to watch, but in a good way. its really realistic and it hits close to home. Im so happy your using youtube to inform people about how ridiculous and harmful rape culture is.

  • @19JLEO86 inside joke.

  • The name of the video does clearly state "satire."

  • That's a neat video. I think it would be good to show where the quotes came from - I wouldn't be surprised if some of the sources were pretty shocking.

  • you, ma'am, are my fucking hero.

  • I think a lot of people are missing the point, I thought that this video was amazing because these are the majority of responses that you will hear when you tell another person you were raped, I don't think that the video is trying to make fun of rape victims but rather bring to the attention how much rape is trivialized in our society which only makes matters worse. I feel that the volume of victim-blaming comments is meant to trigger a gag reaction so that it is clear to viewer how wrong it is

  • @faridah2201 Very well put :)

  • what do you mean it's rape? I'm your husband. LMAO

  • @MrThanhoi|Why is that funny?

  • @BANorwood Im guessing the "point" of this video is to show how dumb ppl sound blaming rape victims for being raped, but there is no contextual information stating that THEY ARE MOCKINGIT, or if there is it is very narrow line...What disturbs me the most is like, how it's just a giant slew of it. That is incredibly triggering and like I said, there is very little stating their intent other than trying to get attn/viral by talking about someting controversial.

  • @gloopyptitsa I think it would definitely be good if they stated that it was a satire, definitely. I don't mean this as a mean comment either, but I think it was very obvious that the video was going to be triggering.

  • @texaslildarlin I seriously hope your a college professor as anyone under 18 SHOULD not see this....it really normalizes this type of behavior and i feel bad and scared for your students should you chose to force them to watch it, god forbid one of your students is a rape or incest survivor and is thrown into a flashback because of this. This is so insensitive I'm fucking soooo apalled.....there should @least be a Adult Content thing on this shit.

  • what ive heard from other people concerning rape is why i never came forward with my own story.

  • This is the single most poignant "Shit...Says" video. Kudos!

  • maybe i haven't fully recovered from being raped twice but i think this is really awful, I know it's a parody but DAMN. all these "your fault" statements so fucking fast made me cry. I don't know really WHAT the point of this video is, since without the comments, one could assume you're saying that acting this way IS NORMAL WHICH IT IS NOT NORMAL AT ALL.....idk i think this is fucking garbage and i feel like im going to fucking puke...

  • @gloopyptitsa you don't know what the point of this video is? -________-

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  • Powerful

    

  • Thank you so much for this video. My only critique is that you could have been wearing a police uniform for some of those scenes to make it even more poignant. Even then, spot on. I'm sharing this with all my friends.

  • This is more than a parody, it is a PSA for jerks. Thank you.