I agree that telling abuser "please" and "stop" does not work it only makes it worse. makes them angry. when u stand up to a bully, the behavior escalates.
I agree with ppl that said saying "stop" to an abuser doesn't work, I think we have to say "stop" to ourselves, like "I'm not going to let you judge, devalue me or define who I am". That's what I did. Dr, you gave many really useful advices and I loved your video and the way you put it, ty so much.
Child or adult, the perpetual conflicts seem based in some ( I know nothing clinically) abuse of power rooted in the darkest wounds the perpetrator bears in their own mind ( insecurity, child abuse, lack of self worth etc) their own souls, their own grief, remorse, anger and hatred of SELF inflicted on the people whom child or adult are supposed to be giving and receiving LOVE within said age or contractually based HOME ( for these teens) or intimacy for the perplexed adults.
There is a great book on the subject. It goes a little more in depth. It's called "Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Stooping to Their Level" by Jay Carter. I highly recommend checking this one out. It covers various abusive personalities.
And then of course even more insidious is the emotional abuse that we've learned to inflict upon ourselves. Often this internal abuse keeps the door open for more external abuse.
@raymondchandler73 You took the words right out of my mouth. Life is too short to waste another moment with people who put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Dump them.
You can never get out of being judged by them...they bring up yesterday, the week before, last month, last year...they never look at themselves...only at you to keep it off of themselves, tearing you down...stripping u of all dignity and self worth. You get stripped to the core until their is nothing left.
Emotional abusers have their own rules. They are very manipulative. Just asking them to please stop does not work...they will keep on abusing, or manipulate the conversation around until they can do it again. They need help. they have anger and bitterness issues that need resolving...they tear others down to make themselves feel better or perhaps they are projecting their self concept onto their latest victim.
So incredibly true ! My mom changes 10 seconds ago history. She says she didn't said it. She didn't do it. I was right here, you told it to me, you know I heard it. :)))
You have a good point, but verbal threats and insults aren't the only things that contribute to emotional abuse. I think it's just as strong in the form of silence; limited physical contact along with exposure to family violence.
I have had mind games from both my parents since I was a child. It didnt end with my mother until she died. My father still does it. How do you walk away from a parent to protect your heart when you know they ill? He is 72 and I am 41 yet he can still make me feel like I am a child. The saying We are all children to our parents is very true.
I'm 14 and my parents are like this to me. This isn't just a petty complaint because I wouldn't clean my room or something, I'm honestly worried for my sanity. They tell me things like "You're worthless" and "You're never going to amount to anything at all". Most of the time the language is much more colorful.
well my wife say im abusive to her welll we have a child and now we are getting a divorce well now she is abusing me and your child and the family court abuse men by saying you need to pay support or end up in jail
Unless I agree with my mother, or put myself down she argues with me and makes me feel horrible. I come home happy, and in 5 minutes, I feel like crap. If I am in a good mood, she makes sure that I am in a bad mood. If I try to stand up for myself, she accuses me of putting her down, once again putting me down in the process.
My brother and I were emotionally abused by our mother for our entire lives. When she died we both breathed a sigh of relief, we were finally free. I was the only one to attend her funeral.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. Can you expand on drawing boundaries with manipulative family members who convince you that you are the problem since you're the minority.
i have a psycho abusing mom, and its getting out of hand. im thinking of calling a helpline for her becouse im not her dark little corner where she can drop all her dark energy. im not a frikking emotional toilet where she can dump it all on me. wtf im gonna call the frikkin helpline to get her back on track. Wtf im weird becouse of her -.-
Wow..are you kidding me? Saying "Please don't ______" to an abuser is only going to ramp up more abuse! You can try it, just to say you tried...but it won't work.
The only thing that 'works' in an abusive relationship is 100% total, submissive compliance (and a shredding of your soul).
@Hawaiiansky11 I think people need to know if they are abusing you because they sometimes dont even realize it,. I think its good practice to start sticking up for ourselves and I think that by holding it inside makes you sick. If you think it works to
be 100 percent total compliance, good luck with that. Even if they dont care, if they are telling you that you are crazy, at least you are putting it out there and givng them a chance to be aware of it. After that, its on them.
This made me nearly cry y do I get so emotional if I hear words nice like we are children of god we don't deserve to be called things or what we are thinking or what I didn't do thank u for this advice
@megbeaven We all deserved to be treated with love, kindness, respect and cared for. When love is all there is why would anyone settle for anything less. Everyone deserves to be loved, and then loved even more.
Saying that "we are all children of God" you have insulted my intelligence, which means you have devalued me, which means you have emotionally abused me.
Well my dad emotionally abused me since my prostitute mother divorced him when I was 2. I now decided to just deal with it until he dies, as everyone whom doesn't live with him/us guilt-trips me when I mention moving away. Moving on.
What about severe abuse in a house by another adult? Not a spuose? Every day is how stupid I am how I should be thrown onto the streets that Im mental worthless and told how I should kill myself and end it all..........
Not much to add, your video is great, your great, your explanation is nearly complete for only 3:14* and the only thing bad about it is the few idiots that said the video was bad.
*Very condensed quality that stays quality = respect :)
kids have to put up with this in their neighbourhoods everyday sometimes in life from other kids and knowbody does anything or cares. Its all very well people talking about it but at the end of the day that doesn't do anything to stop it. many people forget the emotional abuse children put up with in their local towns and cities. so many people are ignorant to the fact in particular the media. children are gettign assaulted by adults and older teen agers and nobody is noticing
I lived in Tanzania for 2 months back in 2009. I was living with one other girl who I later realized emotionally abused me for those 2 months straight. I was a shy person so I rarely said anything back to her. A couple of months later when I entered into my first year of university I developed social anxiety disorder and later realized it was because of this emotional abuse I endured. It's been over 2 1/2 years and after months of therapy I'm finally slowly getting over it. Emotional abuse is a
great video...i was a victim of childhood emotional abuse and it continues in my adult life. i feel like i dont have any worth as a person and i truly wonder if i am responsible for the other person hurting me.
asian ppl emotional abuse thier kids all the time and if thier kids dont have a 4yr degree (in engineering law md )) that kids will be abuse and shun for life that y alot of them that fail commit suicide and the successful 1 are bitter and emo abuse som1 else
Response to cookiemommas 1 year ago - yes that is a crime - against your humanity and what it stands for. Humanity means being human and being human means being valued and important and real. Please do not believe in that guy - he is not being human and will find that. Love yourself and your old car! let your light in and be happy that is the best revenge. I send you a hug.
What if it's your parent you cant just tell them to stop cause they are in charge of you my dad is verbaly abusive and he has gotten a little phisical, but he scares me and I cant do anything about it
My ex emotionally abused me for the past two years & I started getting to the point where I would retaliate & say hurtful things back & I would never mean any of them, but he had me so hurt & so beaten down, I didn't know what else to do. It wasn't that long ago where he said that he wanted a 'perfect' woman & that I needed to get implants. I'm trying to break free once & for all, but it's such a hurtful process. I hope anyone who is going through this can get out while they can. God Bless. <3
the funny thing about this is that everyone is an emotional abuser because everyone is imperfect. People like this man want you to think that there are two kinds of people in the world: emotional abusers and victims. This only perpetuates the problem. If you keep seeing yourself as a victim, then that's what you'll always be. Realize that emotional peace is not something you ask for from someone, but something you need to demand. It's not an option. LEAVE people that abuse you. It's simple.
I've tried. I tell my parents that the way Im treated is unacceptable and Im not going to put up with it. They think Im crazy, and call me s liar. Every single thing I say, gets denied. I'm in high school, and it's tough. I don't try to make friends because I can't trust anyone. If my own parents could treat me that way, why would anyone else treat me different??
@volleybal0325 Yep. That's me in a nutshell. You're not alone. "If my own parents treat me this way, then how could people that don't even know me treat me better?" I think like that all the time. I guess you just gotta believe that you were born with a light inside yourself that your parents couldn't ever see for some reason. Someone will find that light and then show it to you if you search for that someone. Keep looking for love. It's your only way out. It's everyone's only way out.
@tpstrat14 Thank you. Whenever they try to put me down or call me names, I just go to my room so I don't have to hear it. Then they follow me saying stuff like, "Oh look, you're gonna run to run room again!". When they deny what I say, it makes me feel like I'm crazy, and I start to believe them. They say they love me, and they just get angry by how I act (I don't do anything). But whenever I'm furious or frustrated, I never say anything like that to anyone. I don't understand it. Thanks again:)
@volleybal0325 It's a tough situation and it sucks. Just know that they love you in their own way. That's easier said than done. My parents never really showed that they loved me. but I have to look back on my life and I try to see my parents' actions as being "their way of loving me", but it's so hard because it's not hard to just say "I love you" and mean it (if you do mean it) and not abuse you. It puts questions into your mind about whether they do actually love you. It's just hard...
@tpstrat14 That's true. You know, a few days ago I saw a "church sign" as I was driving down the road. It was outside of a small church and it said, "If God brought you to it, He'll bring you through it" And now I remember that every day. I just remember that it happens for a reason, maybe so I'll never treat anyone that way. I'm not sure yet. And lately, I've been having weird dreams. In the dreams, my parents have tried to kill me, my dad went to jail, and they hurt me. Thanks for your reply.
@volleybal0325 I try to keep in mind that the reason that my parents have hurt me is not because they wanted to or anything like that. It's because they were hurt when they were children. It's a vicious cycle, but it can be reversed. It's easier said than done, but just believe that it can happen somehow. Make your life a success story. It's in your hands. break free!
@tpstrat14 Wow. That really helped a lot. I never really thought about it that way. They can't help it, bacause they don't konw any better. My parents and I were just fighting, and I wish they could be there more for me. I remember my first orchestra competition. I looked into the audience, My dad wasn't there. On my 15th birthday, my dad went to my uncle's house to watch a basketball game. My mom hurts me. Thanks again, it's in my hands. Starting today, I will break free :)
@volleybal0325 My dad called me a disappointment on my 18th birthday. He's told me to kill myself like 3 different times. I will probably never understand some of the things he has done to me. I'll probably also never understand why his grandfather murdered his wife then killed himself, leaving my dad's dad on his own at age 12 (how's that for family problems?!?!). Life is cruel, but we all have the strength to power through if we make that choice. I wish I could follow my own advice...
@tpstrat14 Wow. That seems like it would definatly be hard to deal with. But I can see how your dad wouldn't know any better. But even though I barely know you, I can tell that you are very much far from a disappointment. You have helped me, simply by listening and sharing your advice. And I hope you continue to make the choice to "power through". You should become successful (you probably are already) and show your dad that you are so, so much more than he thought you were.
@volleybal0325 Thanks for the support... that helped a lot. Yea, my dad always says "I always loved you, but I couldn't communicate it"... Love dies if it stays inside. And that's where it is for my dad (and mom for that matter). I don't want it to be like that for me, but it's so damn hard... What about you? Do you feel like even though you know your parents love you that you can't accept it because they don't show it?
@tpstrat14 All the time! I mean, if someone came up and asked if my parents loved me, I would say yes. But deep down, I can't really accept that. When they try to prove that they love me, they mention how they got my an ipod or something. I can't get them to see that I don't care about the material things. To me, that doesn't necessarily show "love". I agree with you and everything you said.
@volleybal0325 Yea, money isn't anything at all. My dad says he tried to give me "opportunities" in life by paying for this or that, but it never meant anything compared to the time we spent together. Whenever he says "opportunities", I know he's talking about money.... it hurts..
@tpstrat14 I couldn't imagine any of what You've mentioned.I wish You very well because YOU deserve it. You will be in my prayers.(I hope this won't offend)
@MsLttle Some people just don't get to live life to the fullest. Little children get raped thorughout their childhood. Others are beaten, neglected and forgotten. I guess the only thing that makes me OK with the unfairness is that life is temporary anyways... Even people with parents that love and understand them die eventually. Sure they get to feel good about life, but it ends for them along with everyone else. No one lives forever. The suffering has limits.
Wow. I feel extremely devalued. But my parents say I'm not being abusive, I'm just reacting. Just tonight my mom told me calm down your over-reacting and being ridiculous when I was in tears over what she said. Something she had already said "sorry" about but it was just to dismiss me
what if my husband is mean to me all the time and accuses me of stuff i do not do and he gets mad if i talk to some one else if they are not female and this is embarrassing but he accuses me of my own family members close ones and he trys to start stuff with people he passes when he is driving down the road...he stops the car and flips people off he has hit me before but not really hard maybe on the leg or head somewere no one could really see...he hates my dad and mom and i called him crazy
I don't feel devalued, but I believe that I should be valued more. I've failed in life, albeit being intelligent and a perfectionist. I've grown from an abusive family, fucked up in my first 12 years of life, left my country, now trying to find myself. It is not easy.
i hear a lot about ppl being abused by their bfs. I was abused by my mother. She made me feel all of that and much more. When the guy said just tell that person dont do that to me. With my mother that was not an option, if I ever stood up to her I was yelled at harshly or made to feel bad about everything I prayed all the time to die so maybe it would put a smile on her face. When i was 18 she kicked me out and told my family and friends horrible lies about me. i do not speak with her at all now
@ilmhbpd my wife's mother is that way, and after doing that to her for years, making her feel small and wrong about everything, last night she did it again, even though my wife is almost 31 years old, over the phone. She was rude and cold, and I had enough. I called her back and I asked her nicely after to please not treat my wife that way, not to be rude. When she objected and began to yell, I gloriously chewed her ass without a single insult. It felt great, and we're done with it!
@spacecowboy2k yea, it is sad, my sister still chooses to let her do it. after i was kicked out i learned a lot and all of a sudden stopped talking to me like that, instead, she manipulated me silentlyby talking bad of other ppl so id get mad at them not her.she would say things nicelybut u know there was a hidden meaning behind it u know, and ended up telling my family lies about me. ilooked like the bad guy when i refused to talk to her anymore recently, bc no one realizes what shes capable of
@spacecowboy2k and i am glad u stood up for her! sometimes that is all we need is ppl to let us know were not crazy and that yea they are treating us badly. some ppl dont get it and judge me bc my mom has either told them lies about me or they just dont understand what she does. but all i know is that family doesnt do that to you, and i dont need to involve myself w anything around her bc all it does is bring back those feelings she used to give me.
My bf talks a long time on the phone and he makes me feel guilty if I 'interrupt'. He waffles for ages and could talk for 5 minutes with me just going hmm etc. I do feel it is a one way conversation. Even he notices he talks a lot. I find it a bit controlling.
That's really good advice ie setting boundaries. I didn't realise that someone telling me 'what I am thinking is emotional abuse'. I get my bf telling me when I asked for a camping present for my birthday 'but you never are interested in camping'. I had to explain that I DO like camping and he went quiet.. probably still thinking I won't use it. I also get 'advice' that is good for me because 'he doesn''t want me to make mistakes etc'. I don't know why they have a right to 'give me advice'
my husband is in the military and emotional abusive. but i have rheumatoid arthritis and i cant get health insurance without him. i really dont have much oney or not any where to go. i am on disability ant the moment. the military is out. they dont help at all.
@xnotjustaprettyfacex - yes mine never used to be like this either. I don;t know much about emotional abuse. I am sick of the 'helpful advice' and then he moans that 'I don't take his advice'...well, that is because I don't need to!
Awesome, I was going to send this to a friend in denail about her abusive relationship but then you said "we are all children of god" and since shes an atheist she'll be unable to take this seriiously. fuck.
@spilledinsanity Send it to her anyways if you haven't already and she's still in the relationship. Save that remark, it might be useful info for her.
Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I realize now I've been emotionally abused for 8 years and always questioned if It was my fault.
I asked my family to stop verbally insulting me but that didn't change things. Their body language and behavior still devalued me. They don't make eye contact with me, they ignore me, nothing I say is important.
They've devalued me to the point I've been scared and anxious to ask my mom for $5 or spare change.
I feel majorly stupid for being beat up, cheated, yelled at, hated and ignored. The last thing that happens is they act like the abused and you are talked about like the abuser.
The boundary is fine, but what about the sleepless nights, endless worry, sinceless withdraw, and bitter wall built up long after the abuser is gone abusing someone else. This is what I go through over and over, demanding it to stop. Kellyred
okay wut happens if ur parent us emotionally abusive to u. anything a say to her she flips out and doesnt listen to anything i say. shes gotten me thrown in juvi b4. she also makes up A LOT of things about me to her friends and my grandparents so they think im a bad kid and im not even. ugh...
There were so many fallacious statements touted as truth in this video that I don't know where to begin to disprove most of them are applicable. Namely, "if it feels abusive, it probably is"...I have friends with mental disorders who perceive almost anything as abusive, even anyone enforcing the law where they are concerned.
Also, do you really think an emotional abuser will listen to "please, don't put me down?" Why not just say "I'm not tolerating this nonsense further" and leave?
@addvoc8 I think a big issue is that guys will a lot of the time handle it better. A teenager with abusive parents might rebel and act out, a girl might begin to feel down about herself. In a relationship a guy might just break it off, a girl will stay with the guy. I'm stereotyping here, but these are just what I've seen with my limited time on this world.
If there is one thing in this world I hate, it's abusive (emotional or physical) parents...
@TombaFanatic Actually guys are just as likely to not leave the abusive relationship either. Many others and I witness this and try to help coach guys to realise what they are doing - sometimes we succeed in getting these guys to break the chain of hanging on and also going from one abusive relationship to another (yep guys are great at this too). I don't think guys handle it better either. Drama queens sure can dish it out but sure can't take it = double standard: supremacy plus abuse
Sorry, I'm new to this whole "emotional abuse" thing, and I'm only just realizing it happening around me (not to me). My friend (girl) took it quite poorly, my father took it quite well (tried to better himself, and succeeded), so I guess I may have stereotyped quite a bit.
"Please stop saying___________ i feel adused" Do you know how hard the aduser laughs at that? Saying something like that would be blood in the water to the shark i have to deal with.
I just got into an arguement with my dad the other day and I told him that he emotionally abuses everyone and he refused to believe it and he tried to play the victim. It was so furstrating and I was so angry. I know it was emotional abuse, I just know it. He kept denying and making excuses of why he was mad those time but I know he was being emotionally abusive.
If you try to talk reasonably with the abuser, to get to the root the problem, they'll immediately shut down the conversation at the crux of the issue. Which often leads to frustration & flare ups.Today they might even record your outburst. My parents somehow enlisted relatives to add to the abuse. They would live in the house half the time, so I felt trapped in my room, listening to them having a good time.
The abuser lays traps, waiting for you to retaliate. Once you do, they'll start calling you the abuser. This happened to me, when my parents became increasingly emotionally abusive. Even when you try to ignore what's going on, they'll just become worse and worse. Their favourite ploy is to flip-flop. Pretending to support and agree with you, (i.e.argument with a relation). Then at a critical time, blatantly switch sides.
@Jeorney I know it was a year ago but i want to thank you for posting this . I am caught between my parents dysfunctional marriage and they have been doing this to me since i can remember. I never saw it as abuse because i didn't know any different. My parents always find a way of redirecting their anger with each other toward me and my brother and sister. They always would say what they were doing was good because they had our best interests in mind.I'm now 17 and emotionally shattered.
@ctrlaltdfeat No matter how emotionally shattered you feel right now, you can get your strength back. Your approaching the age where your possibly thinking of leaving home, although the economy is making that harder then ever. Relationships can sometimes improve when that happens. Meanwhile, just let it wash over you like it doesn't affect you. When people are abusive, seeking an understanding and feeling exonerated is difficult and that add its own injury.
@Jeorney Thank you, a year later for posting your words. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home, went to therapy and have overcome milestones. Recently though, I had fallen for a man who emotionally abused me for several months. I had said goodbye many times, but he always found a way to undermine my confidence about that decision. Tonight I saw him after a while, he did what you said. Flip-flopped. I will never be heard. Thank you for hearing me without me having to say anything.
@Existantia Thanks for your appreciation. It is quite common when raised in an abusive home to find a partner that is also abusive. Ultimately the decision is yours whether or not you stay with this man. If the abusive pattern continues you really need to reaccess your situation realistically. Abusers take away your self-worth. They switch from fulfilling your needs to then starving you from them... and the cycle continues. I hope everything work out for you whatever you decide.
That is very common among abusers and bullies. Abuse, abuse, abuse, yell scream hate, throw a fit...but if someone stands up to them, play the victim (the message being: I have the right to abuse you, but you have NO right to not be abused.)
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You missed one. One I get A LOT is my dad complaining about me to my older sister as soon as I leave the room. They even do this when Im still in the room with them! This really is not a smart thing to do coz I'm very sure that my older sister is a malignant narcissist and she can't be trusted. It's probably a really big ego boost for her as well. >:-(
Seems as tho no abusers have actually googles this, every body is the abused here.. just goes to show They dont think they have a problem, just walked away from 3 year relationship full of emotional abuse on a daily basis.. everybody finds their strength at some time
There is ZERO logic in this, the advise he is giving sounds like something a manipulative person would take. I doubt this guy is a legitimate doctorate, and if he is, he shouldn't be, there is no truth, just things sad people want to hear.
Abuse is horrible. In my case, I am a man and my abuser is a woman. Yes, it does happen. And I feel trapped in a prison because no one takes it seriously. After all, I am a man, so I should "just take it."
I married an emotional abuser. I am disabled and that shamed him. I have been diagnosed with PTDS from his abuse. Crazy, Stupid and Worthless were his favorite words. The abuse was so bad I attempted suicide. My husband left after I filed for a PFA. He took all of the money so I would not be able to pay my mortgage or health insurance or bills. I have an old car and he drives a lexus. I can not seem to get rid of his control. I am 54 & beaten down. THIS SHOULD BE A CRIME.
I grew up with an emotional abuser, dated 2 and worked for an abusive boss...I am 47 and trying to heal......hang in there and yes IT SHOULD BE A CRIME.
@cookiemommas im very sorry this has happened to you now that hes gone you can take back that control do things that make you happy. i know it may seem like your always gonna be traped but trying to be happy ,and takeing him out of your life means you can start to heal, and remember all the positive things people have called you proveing that your very valuable. keep strong.
Thank you for your video.
TheRubydo29 1 week ago
I agree that telling abuser "please" and "stop" does not work it only makes it worse. makes them angry. when u stand up to a bully, the behavior escalates.
SuperScreamingEagle 3 weeks ago
I found supplication was the best way to keep it minimal.
CassieAnnaCary 4 weeks ago
I agree with ppl that said saying "stop" to an abuser doesn't work, I think we have to say "stop" to ourselves, like "I'm not going to let you judge, devalue me or define who I am". That's what I did. Dr, you gave many really useful advices and I loved your video and the way you put it, ty so much.
CuteTeef 2 months ago
Child or adult, the perpetual conflicts seem based in some ( I know nothing clinically) abuse of power rooted in the darkest wounds the perpetrator bears in their own mind ( insecurity, child abuse, lack of self worth etc) their own souls, their own grief, remorse, anger and hatred of SELF inflicted on the people whom child or adult are supposed to be giving and receiving LOVE within said age or contractually based HOME ( for these teens) or intimacy for the perplexed adults.
Becca6296 2 months ago
There is a great book on the subject. It goes a little more in depth. It's called "Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Stooping to Their Level" by Jay Carter. I highly recommend checking this one out. It covers various abusive personalities.
tygersflowerz 2 months ago
And then of course even more insidious is the emotional abuse that we've learned to inflict upon ourselves. Often this internal abuse keeps the door open for more external abuse.
createallow3126 2 months ago
Telling them to stop is a fool's errand unless they are not actually abusive and make the occasional honest mistake (imperfect and human).
Abusers throw your concern back in your face, and make you feel like a bad person for calling them out. They live to invalidate you,
The only way to deal with an abusive person is to leave him or her.
raymondchandler73 2 months ago
@raymondchandler73 You took the words right out of my mouth. Life is too short to waste another moment with people who put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Dump them.
luv2bud 2 months ago 2
Once again...asking them to STOP that does NOT WORK.
SuperScreamingEagle 2 months ago
You can never get out of being judged by them...they bring up yesterday, the week before, last month, last year...they never look at themselves...only at you to keep it off of themselves, tearing you down...stripping u of all dignity and self worth. You get stripped to the core until their is nothing left.
SuperScreamingEagle 2 months ago
Emotional abusers have their own rules. They are very manipulative. Just asking them to please stop does not work...they will keep on abusing, or manipulate the conversation around until they can do it again. They need help. they have anger and bitterness issues that need resolving...they tear others down to make themselves feel better or perhaps they are projecting their self concept onto their latest victim.
SuperScreamingEagle 2 months ago
So incredibly true ! My mom changes 10 seconds ago history. She says she didn't said it. She didn't do it. I was right here, you told it to me, you know I heard it. :)))
VerystrangeMaster 3 months ago
You have a good point, but verbal threats and insults aren't the only things that contribute to emotional abuse. I think it's just as strong in the form of silence; limited physical contact along with exposure to family violence.
EAMKid 3 months ago
I have had mind games from both my parents since I was a child. It didnt end with my mother until she died. My father still does it. How do you walk away from a parent to protect your heart when you know they ill? He is 72 and I am 41 yet he can still make me feel like I am a child. The saying We are all children to our parents is very true.
CatpurrRobertaBobbi 4 months ago
Praise Jesus ty
jannerww 4 months ago
I'm 14 and my parents are like this to me. This isn't just a petty complaint because I wouldn't clean my room or something, I'm honestly worried for my sanity. They tell me things like "You're worthless" and "You're never going to amount to anything at all". Most of the time the language is much more colorful.
Rawr8987 4 months ago
well my wife say im abusive to her welll we have a child and now we are getting a divorce well now she is abusing me and your child and the family court abuse men by saying you need to pay support or end up in jail
dlhermes 4 months ago
Unless I agree with my mother, or put myself down she argues with me and makes me feel horrible. I come home happy, and in 5 minutes, I feel like crap. If I am in a good mood, she makes sure that I am in a bad mood. If I try to stand up for myself, she accuses me of putting her down, once again putting me down in the process.
kissmyhairybehind 4 months ago
type in(topnotch do you)and press search,this is just what i needed to hear!!!
TOPNOTCHMIKE1 5 months ago
My brother and I were emotionally abused by our mother for our entire lives. When she died we both breathed a sigh of relief, we were finally free. I was the only one to attend her funeral.
luv2aptnz 5 months ago
Thank you. I needed to hear this. Can you expand on drawing boundaries with manipulative family members who convince you that you are the problem since you're the minority.
danceserenadance 6 months ago
she ruined our family bcos of her stupid emotional dissorders. WTF. wow if she reads my comment she will prob break my pc like she did once already.
Peaceinlifenowar 7 months ago
i have a psycho abusing mom, and its getting out of hand. im thinking of calling a helpline for her becouse im not her dark little corner where she can drop all her dark energy. im not a frikking emotional toilet where she can dump it all on me. wtf im gonna call the frikkin helpline to get her back on track. Wtf im weird becouse of her -.-
Peaceinlifenowar 7 months ago
Wow..are you kidding me? Saying "Please don't ______" to an abuser is only going to ramp up more abuse! You can try it, just to say you tried...but it won't work.
The only thing that 'works' in an abusive relationship is 100% total, submissive compliance (and a shredding of your soul).
Hawaiiansky11 7 months ago 7
@Hawaiiansky11 actually the only thing that works is leaving
bouncyshak 2 months ago
@Hawaiiansky11 I think people need to know if they are abusing you because they sometimes dont even realize it,. I think its good practice to start sticking up for ourselves and I think that by holding it inside makes you sick. If you think it works to
be 100 percent total compliance, good luck with that. Even if they dont care, if they are telling you that you are crazy, at least you are putting it out there and givng them a chance to be aware of it. After that, its on them.
deroseg 2 months ago
This made me nearly cry y do I get so emotional if I hear words nice like we are children of god we don't deserve to be called things or what we are thinking or what I didn't do thank u for this advice
megbeaven 7 months ago 2
@megbeaven We all deserved to be treated with love, kindness, respect and cared for. When love is all there is why would anyone settle for anything less. Everyone deserves to be loved, and then loved even more.
pigpenthecat 6 months ago
Wow...I am a child of God. I don't deserve this abuse. I really needed to hear this.
holyspiritgirl111 7 months ago 9
Saying that "we are all children of God" you have insulted my intelligence, which means you have devalued me, which means you have emotionally abused me.
Happyascanbe1 7 months ago
Well my dad emotionally abused me since my prostitute mother divorced him when I was 2. I now decided to just deal with it until he dies, as everyone whom doesn't live with him/us guilt-trips me when I mention moving away. Moving on.
Digiscat 7 months ago
What about severe abuse in a house by another adult? Not a spuose? Every day is how stupid I am how I should be thrown onto the streets that Im mental worthless and told how I should kill myself and end it all..........
jerzeytpke 7 months ago
Not much to add, your video is great, your great, your explanation is nearly complete for only 3:14* and the only thing bad about it is the few idiots that said the video was bad.
*Very condensed quality that stays quality = respect :)
PatlebYT 8 months ago
kids have to put up with this in their neighbourhoods everyday sometimes in life from other kids and knowbody does anything or cares. Its all very well people talking about it but at the end of the day that doesn't do anything to stop it. many people forget the emotional abuse children put up with in their local towns and cities. so many people are ignorant to the fact in particular the media. children are gettign assaulted by adults and older teen agers and nobody is noticing
210482fmj 8 months ago
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BLANKNOTING 9 months ago
I lived in Tanzania for 2 months back in 2009. I was living with one other girl who I later realized emotionally abused me for those 2 months straight. I was a shy person so I rarely said anything back to her. A couple of months later when I entered into my first year of university I developed social anxiety disorder and later realized it was because of this emotional abuse I endured. It's been over 2 1/2 years and after months of therapy I'm finally slowly getting over it. Emotional abuse is a
LeJisemika 9 months ago
great video...i was a victim of childhood emotional abuse and it continues in my adult life. i feel like i dont have any worth as a person and i truly wonder if i am responsible for the other person hurting me.
sunsagleaming 9 months ago 2
asian ppl emotional abuse thier kids all the time and if thier kids dont have a 4yr degree (in engineering law md )) that kids will be abuse and shun for life that y alot of them that fail commit suicide and the successful 1 are bitter and emo abuse som1 else
samantha34ize 10 months ago
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I think i need to watch this video over and over..
tattygurl20 10 months ago
I think i need to watch this video over and over..
tattygurl20 10 months ago
Response to cookiemommas 1 year ago - yes that is a crime - against your humanity and what it stands for. Humanity means being human and being human means being valued and important and real. Please do not believe in that guy - he is not being human and will find that. Love yourself and your old car! let your light in and be happy that is the best revenge. I send you a hug.
BeAliveBeYourself 10 months ago
What if it's your parent you cant just tell them to stop cause they are in charge of you my dad is verbaly abusive and he has gotten a little phisical, but he scares me and I cant do anything about it
colacane2 10 months ago
My ex emotionally abused me for the past two years & I started getting to the point where I would retaliate & say hurtful things back & I would never mean any of them, but he had me so hurt & so beaten down, I didn't know what else to do. It wasn't that long ago where he said that he wanted a 'perfect' woman & that I needed to get implants. I'm trying to break free once & for all, but it's such a hurtful process. I hope anyone who is going through this can get out while they can. God Bless. <3
dawnofthedeadling 10 months ago
This is why I think Dr. Phil is a very dangerous monster. He promotes abuse.
GAndreiev 11 months ago
Thank you,..
sunflowernoo 11 months ago
When someone abusers Me, 1 time, There is No Second chances.
Most People,-NOT ALL,>BUT MOST ARE NOT TRUST WORTHY.
I WILL NEVER PUT UP WITH ANY & ALL Emotional Abusers WHAT-SO-EVER, THAT GOES 4 ANYBODY THAT DOES THIS TO NICE PEOPLE.
CaptainNemoful1 11 months ago
the funny thing about this is that everyone is an emotional abuser because everyone is imperfect. People like this man want you to think that there are two kinds of people in the world: emotional abusers and victims. This only perpetuates the problem. If you keep seeing yourself as a victim, then that's what you'll always be. Realize that emotional peace is not something you ask for from someone, but something you need to demand. It's not an option. LEAVE people that abuse you. It's simple.
tpstrat14 1 year ago
Comment removed
sirpiggy1 9 months ago
Thank you very much.
neuropedia 1 year ago
I've tried. I tell my parents that the way Im treated is unacceptable and Im not going to put up with it. They think Im crazy, and call me s liar. Every single thing I say, gets denied. I'm in high school, and it's tough. I don't try to make friends because I can't trust anyone. If my own parents could treat me that way, why would anyone else treat me different??
volleybal0325 1 year ago
@volleybal0325 Yep. That's me in a nutshell. You're not alone. "If my own parents treat me this way, then how could people that don't even know me treat me better?" I think like that all the time. I guess you just gotta believe that you were born with a light inside yourself that your parents couldn't ever see for some reason. Someone will find that light and then show it to you if you search for that someone. Keep looking for love. It's your only way out. It's everyone's only way out.
tpstrat14 1 year ago
@tpstrat14 Thank you. Whenever they try to put me down or call me names, I just go to my room so I don't have to hear it. Then they follow me saying stuff like, "Oh look, you're gonna run to run room again!". When they deny what I say, it makes me feel like I'm crazy, and I start to believe them. They say they love me, and they just get angry by how I act (I don't do anything). But whenever I'm furious or frustrated, I never say anything like that to anyone. I don't understand it. Thanks again:)
volleybal0325 11 months ago
@volleybal0325 It's a tough situation and it sucks. Just know that they love you in their own way. That's easier said than done. My parents never really showed that they loved me. but I have to look back on my life and I try to see my parents' actions as being "their way of loving me", but it's so hard because it's not hard to just say "I love you" and mean it (if you do mean it) and not abuse you. It puts questions into your mind about whether they do actually love you. It's just hard...
tpstrat14 11 months ago
@tpstrat14 That's true. You know, a few days ago I saw a "church sign" as I was driving down the road. It was outside of a small church and it said, "If God brought you to it, He'll bring you through it" And now I remember that every day. I just remember that it happens for a reason, maybe so I'll never treat anyone that way. I'm not sure yet. And lately, I've been having weird dreams. In the dreams, my parents have tried to kill me, my dad went to jail, and they hurt me. Thanks for your reply.
volleybal0325 11 months ago
@volleybal0325 I try to keep in mind that the reason that my parents have hurt me is not because they wanted to or anything like that. It's because they were hurt when they were children. It's a vicious cycle, but it can be reversed. It's easier said than done, but just believe that it can happen somehow. Make your life a success story. It's in your hands. break free!
tpstrat14 11 months ago
@tpstrat14 Wow. That really helped a lot. I never really thought about it that way. They can't help it, bacause they don't konw any better. My parents and I were just fighting, and I wish they could be there more for me. I remember my first orchestra competition. I looked into the audience, My dad wasn't there. On my 15th birthday, my dad went to my uncle's house to watch a basketball game. My mom hurts me. Thanks again, it's in my hands. Starting today, I will break free :)
volleybal0325 11 months ago
@volleybal0325 My dad called me a disappointment on my 18th birthday. He's told me to kill myself like 3 different times. I will probably never understand some of the things he has done to me. I'll probably also never understand why his grandfather murdered his wife then killed himself, leaving my dad's dad on his own at age 12 (how's that for family problems?!?!). Life is cruel, but we all have the strength to power through if we make that choice. I wish I could follow my own advice...
tpstrat14 11 months ago
@tpstrat14 Wow. That seems like it would definatly be hard to deal with. But I can see how your dad wouldn't know any better. But even though I barely know you, I can tell that you are very much far from a disappointment. You have helped me, simply by listening and sharing your advice. And I hope you continue to make the choice to "power through". You should become successful (you probably are already) and show your dad that you are so, so much more than he thought you were.
volleybal0325 11 months ago
@volleybal0325 Thanks for the support... that helped a lot. Yea, my dad always says "I always loved you, but I couldn't communicate it"... Love dies if it stays inside. And that's where it is for my dad (and mom for that matter). I don't want it to be like that for me, but it's so damn hard... What about you? Do you feel like even though you know your parents love you that you can't accept it because they don't show it?
tpstrat14 11 months ago
@tpstrat14 All the time! I mean, if someone came up and asked if my parents loved me, I would say yes. But deep down, I can't really accept that. When they try to prove that they love me, they mention how they got my an ipod or something. I can't get them to see that I don't care about the material things. To me, that doesn't necessarily show "love". I agree with you and everything you said.
volleybal0325 10 months ago
@volleybal0325 Yea, money isn't anything at all. My dad says he tried to give me "opportunities" in life by paying for this or that, but it never meant anything compared to the time we spent together. Whenever he says "opportunities", I know he's talking about money.... it hurts..
tpstrat14 10 months ago
@tpstrat14 I couldn't imagine any of what You've mentioned.I wish You very well because YOU deserve it. You will be in my prayers.(I hope this won't offend)
MsLttle 11 months ago
@MsLttle Some people just don't get to live life to the fullest. Little children get raped thorughout their childhood. Others are beaten, neglected and forgotten. I guess the only thing that makes me OK with the unfairness is that life is temporary anyways... Even people with parents that love and understand them die eventually. Sure they get to feel good about life, but it ends for them along with everyone else. No one lives forever. The suffering has limits.
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annajuikjuikol 1 year ago
I think it's way worse with parents. We believe what our parents tell us and we have nowhere to hide either
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
I meant abused
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gingerisevil02 1 year ago
Wow. I feel extremely devalued. But my parents say I'm not being abusive, I'm just reacting. Just tonight my mom told me calm down your over-reacting and being ridiculous when I was in tears over what she said. Something she had already said "sorry" about but it was just to dismiss me
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allennyquistlas 1 year ago
Aren't you being "abusive" by controlling the other person's actions with "boundries"?
dwasdwas1 1 year ago
@dwasdwas1 no, other people can behave how they want as long as they respect yuor boundaries
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bnvzxczxvczxds 1 year ago
what if my husband is mean to me all the time and accuses me of stuff i do not do and he gets mad if i talk to some one else if they are not female and this is embarrassing but he accuses me of my own family members close ones and he trys to start stuff with people he passes when he is driving down the road...he stops the car and flips people off he has hit me before but not really hard maybe on the leg or head somewere no one could really see...he hates my dad and mom and i called him crazy
tinaater 1 year ago
@tinaater Yup!... that's emotional abuse.
MsSeeker43 1 year ago
I don't feel devalued, but I believe that I should be valued more. I've failed in life, albeit being intelligent and a perfectionist. I've grown from an abusive family, fucked up in my first 12 years of life, left my country, now trying to find myself. It is not easy.
aaronsoh 1 year ago
Great video! It helped.
SheLovesG0D 1 year ago
i hear a lot about ppl being abused by their bfs. I was abused by my mother. She made me feel all of that and much more. When the guy said just tell that person dont do that to me. With my mother that was not an option, if I ever stood up to her I was yelled at harshly or made to feel bad about everything I prayed all the time to die so maybe it would put a smile on her face. When i was 18 she kicked me out and told my family and friends horrible lies about me. i do not speak with her at all now
ilmhbpd 1 year ago
@ilmhbpd my wife's mother is that way, and after doing that to her for years, making her feel small and wrong about everything, last night she did it again, even though my wife is almost 31 years old, over the phone. She was rude and cold, and I had enough. I called her back and I asked her nicely after to please not treat my wife that way, not to be rude. When she objected and began to yell, I gloriously chewed her ass without a single insult. It felt great, and we're done with it!
spacecowboy2k 1 year ago
@spacecowboy2k yea, it is sad, my sister still chooses to let her do it. after i was kicked out i learned a lot and all of a sudden stopped talking to me like that, instead, she manipulated me silentlyby talking bad of other ppl so id get mad at them not her.she would say things nicelybut u know there was a hidden meaning behind it u know, and ended up telling my family lies about me. ilooked like the bad guy when i refused to talk to her anymore recently, bc no one realizes what shes capable of
ilmhbpd 1 year ago
@spacecowboy2k and i am glad u stood up for her! sometimes that is all we need is ppl to let us know were not crazy and that yea they are treating us badly. some ppl dont get it and judge me bc my mom has either told them lies about me or they just dont understand what she does. but all i know is that family doesnt do that to you, and i dont need to involve myself w anything around her bc all it does is bring back those feelings she used to give me.
ilmhbpd 1 year ago
My bf talks a long time on the phone and he makes me feel guilty if I 'interrupt'. He waffles for ages and could talk for 5 minutes with me just going hmm etc. I do feel it is a one way conversation. Even he notices he talks a lot. I find it a bit controlling.
charreva 1 year ago
I am made to question myself all the time and it is so tiring. I need to sort bf out!
charreva 1 year ago
That's really good advice ie setting boundaries. I didn't realise that someone telling me 'what I am thinking is emotional abuse'. I get my bf telling me when I asked for a camping present for my birthday 'but you never are interested in camping'. I had to explain that I DO like camping and he went quiet.. probably still thinking I won't use it. I also get 'advice' that is good for me because 'he doesn''t want me to make mistakes etc'. I don't know why they have a right to 'give me advice'
charreva 1 year ago
my husband is in the military and emotional abusive. but i have rheumatoid arthritis and i cant get health insurance without him. i really dont have much oney or not any where to go. i am on disability ant the moment. the military is out. they dont help at all.
teewhy1977 1 year ago
What do you do when they don't stop? Boundaries don't work for my situation. He ignores them.
Juberoos 1 year ago
oh my god, my boyfriend emotionally abuses me!!! Its breaking my heart, what can I do, he never used to be like this!
xnotjustaprettyfacex 1 year ago
@xnotjustaprettyfacex - yes mine never used to be like this either. I don;t know much about emotional abuse. I am sick of the 'helpful advice' and then he moans that 'I don't take his advice'...well, that is because I don't need to!
charreva 1 year ago
Awesome, I was going to send this to a friend in denail about her abusive relationship but then you said "we are all children of god" and since shes an atheist she'll be unable to take this seriiously. fuck.
spilledinsanity 1 year ago
@spilledinsanity - the children of God was inappropriate for me too. Otherwise, thought it was good.
charreva 1 year ago
@spilledinsanity Send it to her anyways if you haven't already and she's still in the relationship. Save that remark, it might be useful info for her.
19sweetandbrown86 1 year ago
"A behavior or action that devalues in any way"
Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I realize now I've been emotionally abused for 8 years and always questioned if It was my fault.
I asked my family to stop verbally insulting me but that didn't change things. Their body language and behavior still devalued me. They don't make eye contact with me, they ignore me, nothing I say is important.
They've devalued me to the point I've been scared and anxious to ask my mom for $5 or spare change.
woodyfly 1 year ago
I feel majorly stupid for being beat up, cheated, yelled at, hated and ignored. The last thing that happens is they act like the abused and you are talked about like the abuser.
The boundary is fine, but what about the sleepless nights, endless worry, sinceless withdraw, and bitter wall built up long after the abuser is gone abusing someone else. This is what I go through over and over, demanding it to stop. Kellyred
kellyred2008 1 year ago 2
okay wut happens if ur parent us emotionally abusive to u. anything a say to her she flips out and doesnt listen to anything i say. shes gotten me thrown in juvi b4. she also makes up A LOT of things about me to her friends and my grandparents so they think im a bad kid and im not even. ugh...
Slushiezz095 1 year ago
Doctor, could you please come meet my neighbours? I've tried for 9 months to be professional with them, and now I have just snapped.
TheTravelfool 1 year ago
There were so many fallacious statements touted as truth in this video that I don't know where to begin to disprove most of them are applicable. Namely, "if it feels abusive, it probably is"...I have friends with mental disorders who perceive almost anything as abusive, even anyone enforcing the law where they are concerned.
Also, do you really think an emotional abuser will listen to "please, don't put me down?" Why not just say "I'm not tolerating this nonsense further" and leave?
blastkist 1 year ago
My boyfriend tells me I am selfish and that I am fake......
brunettewrhs2012 1 year ago
No mention that women dominate in this "game" of abuse, with impunity???
addvoc8 1 year ago
@addvoc8 I think a big issue is that guys will a lot of the time handle it better. A teenager with abusive parents might rebel and act out, a girl might begin to feel down about herself. In a relationship a guy might just break it off, a girl will stay with the guy. I'm stereotyping here, but these are just what I've seen with my limited time on this world.
If there is one thing in this world I hate, it's abusive (emotional or physical) parents...
TombaFanatic 1 year ago
@TombaFanatic Actually guys are just as likely to not leave the abusive relationship either. Many others and I witness this and try to help coach guys to realise what they are doing - sometimes we succeed in getting these guys to break the chain of hanging on and also going from one abusive relationship to another (yep guys are great at this too). I don't think guys handle it better either. Drama queens sure can dish it out but sure can't take it = double standard: supremacy plus abuse
addvoc8 1 year ago
@addvoc8 I stand corrected.
Sorry, I'm new to this whole "emotional abuse" thing, and I'm only just realizing it happening around me (not to me). My friend (girl) took it quite poorly, my father took it quite well (tried to better himself, and succeeded), so I guess I may have stereotyped quite a bit.
TombaFanatic 1 year ago
thank you for this!!!
CeeCeeBonita 1 year ago
Thank you so much. I appreciate this information.
AFFIRMATIONS1 1 year ago
"Please stop saying___________ i feel adused" Do you know how hard the aduser laughs at that? Saying something like that would be blood in the water to the shark i have to deal with.
Geszelda 1 year ago 3
@Geszelda Thank you for this thoughtful response!
drdavidhawkins 1 year ago
i am glad i watched this video...
tailslena 1 year ago 2
I just got into an arguement with my dad the other day and I told him that he emotionally abuses everyone and he refused to believe it and he tried to play the victim. It was so furstrating and I was so angry. I know it was emotional abuse, I just know it. He kept denying and making excuses of why he was mad those time but I know he was being emotionally abusive.
91lilkolo 1 year ago 7
@91lilkolo You sure that wasn't your mother? I hear twice as many people report their mothers abuse/abused them as that their fathers do/did.
addvoc8 1 year ago
If you try to talk reasonably with the abuser, to get to the root the problem, they'll immediately shut down the conversation at the crux of the issue. Which often leads to frustration & flare ups.Today they might even record your outburst. My parents somehow enlisted relatives to add to the abuse. They would live in the house half the time, so I felt trapped in my room, listening to them having a good time.
Jeorney 1 year ago 3
The abuser lays traps, waiting for you to retaliate. Once you do, they'll start calling you the abuser. This happened to me, when my parents became increasingly emotionally abusive. Even when you try to ignore what's going on, they'll just become worse and worse. Their favourite ploy is to flip-flop. Pretending to support and agree with you, (i.e.argument with a relation). Then at a critical time, blatantly switch sides.
Jeorney 1 year ago 24
@Jeorney I know it was a year ago but i want to thank you for posting this . I am caught between my parents dysfunctional marriage and they have been doing this to me since i can remember. I never saw it as abuse because i didn't know any different. My parents always find a way of redirecting their anger with each other toward me and my brother and sister. They always would say what they were doing was good because they had our best interests in mind.I'm now 17 and emotionally shattered.
ctrlaltdfeat 10 months ago
@ctrlaltdfeat No matter how emotionally shattered you feel right now, you can get your strength back. Your approaching the age where your possibly thinking of leaving home, although the economy is making that harder then ever. Relationships can sometimes improve when that happens. Meanwhile, just let it wash over you like it doesn't affect you. When people are abusive, seeking an understanding and feeling exonerated is difficult and that add its own injury.
Jeorney 8 months ago
@Jeorney Thank you, a year later for posting your words. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home, went to therapy and have overcome milestones. Recently though, I had fallen for a man who emotionally abused me for several months. I had said goodbye many times, but he always found a way to undermine my confidence about that decision. Tonight I saw him after a while, he did what you said. Flip-flopped. I will never be heard. Thank you for hearing me without me having to say anything.
Existantia 8 months ago
@Existantia Thanks for your appreciation. It is quite common when raised in an abusive home to find a partner that is also abusive. Ultimately the decision is yours whether or not you stay with this man. If the abusive pattern continues you really need to reaccess your situation realistically. Abusers take away your self-worth. They switch from fulfilling your needs to then starving you from them... and the cycle continues. I hope everything work out for you whatever you decide.
Jeorney 8 months ago
@Jeorney
That is very common among abusers and bullies. Abuse, abuse, abuse, yell scream hate, throw a fit...but if someone stands up to them, play the victim (the message being: I have the right to abuse you, but you have NO right to not be abused.)
Hawaiiansky11 7 months ago 2
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RUInternational 1 year ago
You missed one. One I get A LOT is my dad complaining about me to my older sister as soon as I leave the room. They even do this when Im still in the room with them! This really is not a smart thing to do coz I'm very sure that my older sister is a malignant narcissist and she can't be trusted. It's probably a really big ego boost for her as well. >:-(
KillerAngel47 2 years ago
I clicked 1 stars by accident!!!! Oh no!! If I would rate, it should be 6 stars!!
Prissie28 2 years ago
Oops!! I will rate it for you then! XD
KillerAngel47 2 years ago
You can re-vote :)
twinklefly525 1 year ago
Now I did.. ;-)
Prissie28 1 year ago
Being yelled at, I was told that I was insane by my children's mother.
At first, it kinda hurt but then I thought - Why does that sound funny coming from somebody who hasn't learned much from
Anger Management?
Maybe I should have said:
But dear, I am such a likeable nut!
Of course she would have gone ballistic with that.
Back to AM class you go!
;>)
Twinhit 2 years ago
@josicoyote
You might ask him "If I am all these things you say I am, why are you still around?"
Be sure to have the lawman nearby when you say it.
Remember, whereas he is pointing his finger at you, he has 3 fingers pointing back at him.
Twinhit 2 years ago
Seems as tho no abusers have actually googles this, every body is the abused here.. just goes to show They dont think they have a problem, just walked away from 3 year relationship full of emotional abuse on a daily basis.. everybody finds their strength at some time
Colada1985 2 years ago
There is ZERO logic in this, the advise he is giving sounds like something a manipulative person would take. I doubt this guy is a legitimate doctorate, and if he is, he shouldn't be, there is no truth, just things sad people want to hear.
redeyesthe20th 2 years ago
Abuse is horrible. In my case, I am a man and my abuser is a woman. Yes, it does happen. And I feel trapped in a prison because no one takes it seriously. After all, I am a man, so I should "just take it."
chrisman737 2 years ago
@chrisman737 grinds you down over time. hard to leave. i dont know why though ? i should just go. im in the same boat as you.
ianupton 2 years ago
I married an emotional abuser. I am disabled and that shamed him. I have been diagnosed with PTDS from his abuse. Crazy, Stupid and Worthless were his favorite words. The abuse was so bad I attempted suicide. My husband left after I filed for a PFA. He took all of the money so I would not be able to pay my mortgage or health insurance or bills. I have an old car and he drives a lexus. I can not seem to get rid of his control. I am 54 & beaten down. THIS SHOULD BE A CRIME.
cookiemommas 2 years ago 11
I grew up with an emotional abuser, dated 2 and worked for an abusive boss...I am 47 and trying to heal......hang in there and yes IT SHOULD BE A CRIME.
LUVJONZ99 2 years ago
@cookiemommas im very sorry this has happened to you now that hes gone you can take back that control do things that make you happy. i know it may seem like your always gonna be traped but trying to be happy ,and takeing him out of your life means you can start to heal, and remember all the positive things people have called you proveing that your very valuable. keep strong.
eclipse92able 11 months ago
Comment removed
cookiemommas 2 years ago
Emotional abuse just come from people in marriage and boyfiriend and girlfriends but with Kids VS. Moms And Dads
gplrl123 2 years ago