My grandparents are both passed away. My parents had children quite late in life so I've only met my grandmothers when I was little. I remember them being very nice though. I usually see my Aunts and Uncle about once or twice a year and it always nice to see them and catch up.
My grandmothers at both sides used to connect all the familymembers, but all my grandparents are gone now. My mom and her brothers and sisters have a brother/sister day once a year now, but my dad barely sees his family (so I don't either).
@lianneinthebigworld whoa once a year-- that's pretty rare. I should be grateful that I get to see my mum's siblings and their families every few months. But then again thinking about it, I don't see my dad's siblings too much (think years) but I don't really see it as much of a deal, since I'm not close to them.
My grandma is very important to me. She's one of the only family members I genuinely like as a person. That being said, my family is pretty messed up and dysfunctional. I'm sure I've made it clear that around family is one of my least favorite places. As for extended family, I'm only close to my cousins (I only have 2), but we don't talk much anyway. But I don't care about the extended family like second cousins and whatnot.
I hardly ever see my extended family so I guess they're not that important to me. I don't think families can be "functional". There's definitely no extra efforts made my my family anyway.
@CosmicScaleFactor hmm. Thanks for telling me about your family. It's great getting to know how people's families are, and how varied they can be.
sometimes in the media or in pop psychology, there is an emphasis on having a "functional" family, and they say since the family is "the basic unit of society", a functioning family will solve *all* of society's problems-- I don't think this is true.
My extended family mean nothing to me. We are spread far too thin around the world for family gatherings to be realistic.
I have a problem with the notion that because you are "related" you have to trust one another. I think that particularly trust must be earned. It cannot just be expected. There is a big gap between expectations of relationships and reality. E.g. my mum wants me an my brother to be best fwends...that dude is an asshole.
@DimityGirl That makes sense, that "trust" has to be earned. Sometimes I think in my family people take trust for granted. Yeah, I agree with you on that bit, there's a difference between expectations and reality. A lot of the time in my family people pretend a lot. Thanks for sorting that out : )
I think dysfunctional is a big word. Families will never "work" as well as a group of good friends does, because family can not be chosen. Their characters and their bond is predetermined and because they come from the same family, they will often have characters that are similar, sometimes resulting in collisions of those characters.
And for the last question: I don't think so... I've never noticed it anyway ^^
My grandparents are important to me. We don't see them very often (once a month or sometimes once every two months), but they're nice people.
On my father's side they're already quite old people (older than 80) and you can only have chats about the weather and stuff. Partly because they don't consider you "one of the adults" if you know what I mean.
On my mother's side my grandparents are about 70 and I can talk with them about basically anything, which makes me more comfortable with them.
@yrpgullwings haha I get what you mean; I'm not treated as "one of the adults" either.
yeah, both my maternal and paternal sets of grandparents are all over 80, and so are my grandaunts, but they still keep up with current affairs and they tell me to do stuff.
(um, if you've read charlie and the chocolate factory and both sets of charlie's grandparents are sharing one bed-- when I was a child I didn't find this a strange thing at all. xD)
@lilyenc Yeah they still live in the age where the older people can say anything to the younger ones and they have to obey. Oh how times have changed :)
My grandparents are both passed away. My parents had children quite late in life so I've only met my grandmothers when I was little. I remember them being very nice though. I usually see my Aunts and Uncle about once or twice a year and it always nice to see them and catch up.
DigitalCable 3 months ago
@DigitalCable that's nice :) I see my paternal grandparents about once or twice a year too, and I like doing that.
HAHA I'm beginning to think that family is okay and bearable, but only in small doses.
lilyenc 3 months ago
My grandmothers at both sides used to connect all the familymembers, but all my grandparents are gone now. My mom and her brothers and sisters have a brother/sister day once a year now, but my dad barely sees his family (so I don't either).
lianneinthebigworld 3 months ago
@lianneinthebigworld whoa once a year-- that's pretty rare. I should be grateful that I get to see my mum's siblings and their families every few months. But then again thinking about it, I don't see my dad's siblings too much (think years) but I don't really see it as much of a deal, since I'm not close to them.
lilyenc 3 months ago
@lilyenc well I do see them more than once a year. But it's rare for EVERYONE to be together XD
lianneinthebigworld 3 months ago
My grandma is very important to me. She's one of the only family members I genuinely like as a person. That being said, my family is pretty messed up and dysfunctional. I'm sure I've made it clear that around family is one of my least favorite places. As for extended family, I'm only close to my cousins (I only have 2), but we don't talk much anyway. But I don't care about the extended family like second cousins and whatnot.
rakeyrawr 3 months ago
@rakeyrawr heh yeah you have.
that's interesting. And it's great that you have a family member that you can talk to.
I don't talk to my second cousins; I only know the ones on my mother's side; but they're too young really.
lilyenc 3 months ago
I hardly ever see my extended family so I guess they're not that important to me. I don't think families can be "functional". There's definitely no extra efforts made my my family anyway.
CosmicScaleFactor 3 months ago
@CosmicScaleFactor hmm. Thanks for telling me about your family. It's great getting to know how people's families are, and how varied they can be.
sometimes in the media or in pop psychology, there is an emphasis on having a "functional" family, and they say since the family is "the basic unit of society", a functioning family will solve *all* of society's problems-- I don't think this is true.
thanks for being honest :)
lilyenc 3 months ago
My extended family mean nothing to me. We are spread far too thin around the world for family gatherings to be realistic.
I have a problem with the notion that because you are "related" you have to trust one another. I think that particularly trust must be earned. It cannot just be expected. There is a big gap between expectations of relationships and reality. E.g. my mum wants me an my brother to be best fwends...that dude is an asshole.
Expectations don't meet reality.
DimityGirl 3 months ago
@DimityGirl That makes sense, that "trust" has to be earned. Sometimes I think in my family people take trust for granted. Yeah, I agree with you on that bit, there's a difference between expectations and reality. A lot of the time in my family people pretend a lot. Thanks for sorting that out : )
lilyenc 3 months ago
I think dysfunctional is a big word. Families will never "work" as well as a group of good friends does, because family can not be chosen. Their characters and their bond is predetermined and because they come from the same family, they will often have characters that are similar, sometimes resulting in collisions of those characters.
And for the last question: I don't think so... I've never noticed it anyway ^^
yrpgullwings 3 months ago
@yrpgullwings oh. hmm. That makes a lot of sense. It explains a lot of things in my head. thanks : )
lilyenc 3 months ago
@lilyenc You're welcome!
yrpgullwings 3 months ago
My grandparents are important to me. We don't see them very often (once a month or sometimes once every two months), but they're nice people.
On my father's side they're already quite old people (older than 80) and you can only have chats about the weather and stuff. Partly because they don't consider you "one of the adults" if you know what I mean.
On my mother's side my grandparents are about 70 and I can talk with them about basically anything, which makes me more comfortable with them.
yrpgullwings 3 months ago
@yrpgullwings haha I get what you mean; I'm not treated as "one of the adults" either.
yeah, both my maternal and paternal sets of grandparents are all over 80, and so are my grandaunts, but they still keep up with current affairs and they tell me to do stuff.
(um, if you've read charlie and the chocolate factory and both sets of charlie's grandparents are sharing one bed-- when I was a child I didn't find this a strange thing at all. xD)
lilyenc 3 months ago
@lilyenc Yeah they still live in the age where the older people can say anything to the younger ones and they have to obey. Oh how times have changed :)
yrpgullwings 3 months ago
"There are no families that aren't screwed up" Very true.
My grandma gave me the car that many a dutch friends have been in. :)
princeword 3 months ago
@princeword that's so cool. How old is the car?
(heh sorry for entirely missing the point of your comment there.)
lilyenc 3 months ago