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From: esherborne3
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  • "What is it you wish I would say to you". Great!

  • i now see where my therapist gets his approach from. and those long silences sure are awkward. it feels like you're in a fishbowl...

  • Remember, all things must be considered in Counselling, these sessions were in the 50's, and they were NOT told not to enjoy or have sex, only NOT have sex outside of marriage, or at least outside of love. It WAS society which was giving Gloria her issues, if she was born 30 years later and having casual sex in the 90's she would not have felt ashamed.

  • Women are told, do not enjoy or have sex, but the body wants it. So, they are afraid of their own sexuality. She is revealing how woman feel to this day in the 21 Century. Its a real shame.

  • This isn't difficult to figure. The woman Gloria is sleeping around, she admits there is no love involved, she's just horny. She's afraid to tell her young nine year old daughter because she states that the child may lose respect for her, but the real truth is she's worry that her daughter will think it's ok for me to be a slut because my mom is, which is correct, that's exactly what "Pamy" will think. Like mother, like daughter. Called "nurturing".

  • 7.04 shit's deep...

  • As a social worker... I find the most difficult thing to do is allow those moments of silences, and pauses, of thought... It's hard to develop Carl's pace of therapy... or interviewing clients in any situation... It's hard to get lost in the moment with clients and avoid thinking too much ahead and anticipating what people will say. Ugh! I wish this were easier.

  • nympho

    

  • As helpful as Carl Rogers is to bringing Gloria to her self relization that it is her accpetance is needed as well as her daughters, i feel as though she was repeating alot and floundering. Am i denying the transformation? no i just believe that there were times when Rogers could have responded rather than paraphraseing

  • this therapy session is simply incredibly to see! the transition that Gloria takes from having concerns with `lying`to her daughter to realizing that her daughter is not an issue here, rather it is her own self-acceptance that is judgemental of what she does with her love life.

  • We all have our own answers....AND we may have to feel the struggle of stepping into areas of ourselves we have never developed or grappled with. We DO have all the resources, testing that theory is usually the first step. I love Rogers approach for this aspect.

    AND there are other pieces that come into play, namely action steps. Nothing happens without our taking action in our world, or knowing what we stand for in the world!

  • Dr. Rogers, please tell Gloria that the only way she will FEEL content with herself is to physically, mentally, emotionally embrace her standards. To actively live the way that makes the best of of herself come alive. Obviously, The guilt is a protection mechanism which is alerted each time she does wrong. Go and correct the wrongs she has done and live according to the correct morals she has been blessed to discover. She is the way she should live. She needs to be spiritually counseled!

  • @MrParent007 If you listen (which is what Carl Rogers is doing most of the time) she is not happy with the guilt of religion. As she accepts herself and that her desires are ok, her anguish goes away. The change from the beginning of the session is remarkable.

  • The only way any client you have or get will have THEIR own Answers within themselves!

  • she makes a slip of the tongue that is important i think,she at 0.44 says attrative intead od attracted,does this mean she has issues about needing to feel attractive,rather than it be about sex it is about being wanted and accepted without judgement either by herself or anyone else exactly as she is.She is terrified of being judged because she has been judgemental ,when she forgives herself for being judgemental she will begin to accept herself.

  • brilliant.

    

  • Fantastic video.

  • Carl should realize that she just needs a good fucking...

  • The general pattern of this therapy seems to be to listen attentively to the patient and then reiterate what they told you in your own words, all the while being as friendly as possible. Seems like a type of therapy that almost works itself.

  • @NearVSMello That's pretty much it. Rogers believed that we all have the resources within ourselves to sort our own issues. By providing an environment of 'unconditional positive regard' and reflecting back to Gloria he enables her to listen to herself and find her own answers.

    I love the person-centred approach.

  • Carl is an inspiration ... a compassionate and intelligent man ....

  • @kevzilla92 is a pussy

  • The power of the interaction is so evident in the silences. Wow! Thanks Carl.

  • The power of the interaction is so evident in the silences. Wow! Thanks Carl.

  • Genuiness, Caring, and Empathy. Carl Rogers is a non-directive therapist. 10/10 on my quiz!

  • i kinda feel a bit bored because Carl Rogers responds very slow!

  • Carl Rogers is a total new approach to allow client to be in control while minimal resposes to I hear your saying/feeling. Client clearly talks her truths-fears-desires.

    Allowing silence between client and Couselor is where the client will dig our what he/she whats needs desires feels etc.

  • The pause was the trance. Solution Focused Models, would cheerlead on the positive attributes, more so than just acknowledging. What do you wish I would say to you, could be elaborated to what do you wish I could say to you that would help you here and later?

  • It just clearly shown how Carl Rogers applied a mirroring process ..

    getting in touch with a person and having empathy was the best way .. as he said there are 3 important ingredients (Congruity, empathy, and Respect) all these should put all together .. :))

  • The client will hopefully reach their own conclusion, and watching Carl Rogers shows how it could be done. However I don't believe that person centred counselling is effective 100% of the time. I qualified in person centred and am now doing my post grad in integrative therapy, and feel that having that little bit of freedom to move away from PC has helped me enormously in clinical practice.

  • The fundamental belief with this therapy is that the client wil eventually reconnect with their inner potential and do what they feel is ultimately comfortable for themselves.

  • Gloria is so endearing, you can't help but feel for her. Yet, I'm split with Rogers' therapy.

    ultimately, it is about how open people are to listening to themselves and taking responsibilities. If a person is not apt to do that, this kind of therapy is probably not as helpful.

  • at 2 minutes I appreciate how he's real with his owe methods, and declares that it may 'sound evasive' ; this redirection onto the ct led them to propose a decision of her own. Rogers develops this theory through open questions and summaries, whilst maintaining an empathetic understanding of any decision she could make. He does not advise, but works with her own desires, to counsel. Fantastic.

  • "It's an awfully risky thing to live" great response!

  • A mother who is caught in the problem of her time.

  • 2 things strike me. 1/ Gloria's constant furrowed brow and her saying, "I hear what you're saying. " She is totally connecting with Rogers in mind, not embodying like with Perls. Rogers is virtually demanding this be the basis of their relationship whilst not making 'his mind' available to Gloria. Is Perls a better exponent of PCA's congruence and UPR than Rogers? As for empathy, it was never Perls strong point :)

  • @stiffybrian

    To me, it looks like she's also clearly wrestling with emotions, energy is flowing... sighing, being physical, moving her body, she cries at one point... I think Rogers does a great job here. Really interesting to see it. I dont know what to make of Perls session; its such a different approach - deliberately forcing the gameplaying/manipulation to bring about movement, whereas Rogers seems to sidestep it entirely by being wholly accepting while also refusing to play rescuer.

  • Why doesn't Carl just tell her that he can't answer the question whether or not her revelation to her daughter will or will not have a psychologically traumatic effect?

  • @boywithstick because that is an answer to her question in itself and rogers here is allowing her to find her own answers as thats the whole point really, he has total faith in her that she is self empowered in this way and that she has the ability with the help from a guide or companion(rogers) to find the answers that are already inside of her as a mother. This is her question to answer and noone elses and rogers is not the expert on this she is so he wont answer and thats why.

  • i'm looking for the trnscriptio of this video of Carl Roger's approach. Where can i fouind it? Please help me. It's very important. :)

  • plsss i need it with SUB IN SPANISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone would help meeeee

  • Oprah is also very emphatic...

  • I think 2:14-2:33 is when he changes the session. Good job Carl.

  • she is a whore.. and rogers man.. who is this weak minded to not be able to do the same thing rogers did on themselves? yap yap yap yap yap he know shes a whore and keeps repeating the same thing over and over nuff said

  • im a psych student in my senior year receiving my bachelors. anywho gloria is a whore and carl rogers knows this but cant and wont telll her but i would.lol

  • @gtrican projection.

  • @gtrican

    then you need to change majors because you're an idiot

  • @gtrican 

  • @gtrican Well the thing is that this is an atheist approach, and if you are a Christian than you could at least take some very good points out of this approach. I am a Christian pastor my self, and I would not counsel my church members to engage in extramarital sex, but I am watching this so that I find something I CAN use and apply it to my context. You can learn anything out of everything.

  • very open,i am doing a counselling course and i find it very helpfull in the course as it is based on carl rogers

  • Gloria seems too insecure about the way other people perceive her and needs to be more concerned with her own inner thoughts and feelings and needs to learn to accept herself.

  • to bad she never got there.

  • ...from this flows the ability of the client to review their own thought processes in the presence of the therapist, from which they can begin to address how such thought processes may be irrational and leading to feelings of anxiety. Essentially it is not for you to judge the morality of her behaviour, for her to do so.

  • Autumngrief, I think you are missing the point with your comment - Roger's Client Centered Therapy is a phenomenological/humanistic approach that is premised on the idea that to truly under a person's behaviour and thought processes you must see it through the eyes of that particular individual; in order to do this you must remain impartial, non-judgemental and give unconditional positive regard....

  • this helped me understand my own mother

    my mum lied about all of this, im 17 now and have just found out that she sleeps with allot of different men, and i kind of hate her for it

    that said i mainly feel really conflicted

  • God - I wish my substance abuse clients were as easy to work with as this

  • @stripbones oath. i'm a lot more interested in this stuff than my clients usual concrete thinking, low motivation, poor attendance, and emotional retardation. i dont dislike them for it or even get frustrated, i just would rather be with a different population. luckily, my internship is ending soon and next year i will be at a campus counseling center. chyea!

  • Comment removed

  • I think we ought to be very careful about what comments are made about real people's lives in a genuine therapy situation.

  • lol at all the whiners talking about how "inappropriate" it is to tell a 9 year old about sex. If you were listening the 9 year old ASKED about it. On top of that I knew a lot about sex when I was 3 years old and I'm fine. It's about the approach, kids can handle more shit than you think you bunch of crybabies. You'll save kids from a lot of trouble when they get taught the truth rather than a bunch of lies. It's called being a role model instead of a big sack of pathetic.

  • i agree discussing her sex life with a 9 yr old is in appropriate but i guess since this happen 2 her wen she was a child she doesnt want it 2 happen 2 her daughter. i c she has a very strong superego

  • @SylhetSweety16 that's semi-maladaptive to shape her present & future on something from the past & it can cause her anxiety over it, it can cause her to become neurotic which you can see a little of @ 4:20.... but I doubt that that's the case. i agree with the superego point you made.

  • Doesn't anyone else think it's a little twisted that she even would think it is appropriate to discuss her sex life with her 9 year old child?

  • That's the very reason why she's in therapy. And also the very reason why her daughter might end up in therapy in the future (of this video). The answer I think is at 5:17

  • She has a very black and white view of the world. She thinks that people should never lie, but sometimes lying could be a compassionate act, e.g. not telling her 9 year old daughter about her sexual encounters.

    Also worrying too much about what others think.

    Society back then is also causing a lot of her problems, e.g. having sex out of wedlock.

    I think that an over-religious upbringing seems to be most of her problem?

  • She is living herself in her daughter. 9 years old don't need to know anything, especially parent having sex. She is reliving her childhood dilemma .

  • Just at the end of a basic course on counselling. Interesting if a little dated Gloria wants answers that are within herself. She sounds like a wonderful mother who just wants to protect her daughter whilst exploring her own desires.

  • your disgusting..

  • Comment removed

  • Thank youvery much for posting this. I am student grappling with counselling models and this is so instructive.

  • It seems to me that societies ridgid social conditioning is the problem. How can one gain acceptance if you don't jump through all the hoops correctly? OOH be a rebel!

  • In psychotheraphy we can not be judgemental because the extrict translation of verbal therapy has a strong unconscious ingredient that is with which the patients is working.NOT the therapist! She communicate with her 9 years old adressing her as a mother who listen to her sexual activity with a man whose not her daughter's father. Then, she resent it , but still she need to communicate in her daily life with someone "adult" that she doesn't have around...

    See the existential plot of Gloria?

  • Very true mantricspork (see comment) about the parents, however the fact that there are circumstances wherein sex can be extremely harmful is empirically validated. Whatever the situation, it does seem that one's lack of psychological autonomy from their parents in adulthood can exacerbate any situation. Empirical data also shows that teens whose parents have a hard time talking about sex face many risk factors, from increased probability of substance abuse to early sexual onset.

  • Gloria stated she had open communication about sex with her daughter in the past. Frankly, this is totally inappropriate conversation to have with a 9 year old. Gloria is acting like her daughter was a grown woman, who she wasn't... my judgments arise but my understanding and empathy of Gloria and her loneliness also arise... Rogers does a remarkable job in his empathy, not a least bit of judgmental tone in his voice or comments. He really is practicing mindfulness by remaining so objective.

  • interesting take on this subject aprilstillbeing, and in a sense I agree. Being nine years old her mothers sex life was none of her business, or for that matter none of her busines at any age....keeping in mind it works both ways....

  • It seems that her main reason to go to therapy is to silence her conscience.

  • Wow!!! Times have changed. It is interesting that she thinks she is a "demon" for having sex. Interesting video.

  • Thankfully we've evolved a little bit since those days!! Sex is a lot less demonic,... to say the least!

  • So ironic that what makes people so nervous about sex is the way their parents refuse to talk about it or get nervous when it is brought up. LOL. There's nothing harmful about sex.

  • the simplicity of Rogers' approach is beautiful and elegant--this is so inspiring to someone tired of paternalistic doctors, you can tell Gloria is socially conditioned to look for answers outside herself..."you don't sound so uncertain"

  • Carl Rogers was a genius

  • Excellent video, really has helped me a lot in my counselling skills course role plays. I think one of the most pertinent questions Carl asks is at 5:13 - 'What is it you wish I would say to you?' addressing Gloria's recurring wish for a direct answer, and I think from this point on the session really picks up positively... Very thought provoking.

  • @chriswade54 yes yes, that question perturbs the system and gets her out of that same game she's been playing of flip flopping back and forth between the two choices. it causes her to look inside and say "what do I want...not "what do my kids want me to do," not "what does the therapist want me to do," but what do I want to do.

  • too many rumours. the truth is in the book by glorias daughter pamela j burry.

    living with the gloria films.

    the book is brillant

  • what is the name of the book?

  • i dont see my first reply posted. if this is a duplicate apoplogy.

    the title is LIVING WITH THE GLORIA FILMS A DAUGHTERS MEMORY

  • That's incorrect Gloria lived till her 50's and built up a relationship with Carl Rogers some time after, even though she picked Perls as a therapist which she supposedly regretted many years after.

  • I think that Rogers really gets to the heart of the issue starting at 2:02, when he tries to show Gloria that what she's really concerned with is regulating her own anxiety. The needs of her children are a seperate issue that she's valuing less than her anxiety regulation. Fear of your child not accepting you, and what's healthy for them are separate. I think you can set a boundary with a child, without feeling that you're being dishonest. Kids don't have to know everything.

  • I agree with you. Children should not really know their parent's intimate life and even less should they be told by the parents themselves!

  • Great video; so helpful. And so interesting to compare to Perls's interview of the same client! Rogers really lets this client's own intelligence and insight sort out what's going on.

  • In the end, Gloria picked Perls to continue therapy with

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