Bald stalker wants to get laid! - Ask The John

[marjones69]

18...bald???...fattt????....yo­u outa luck homeboy...but there are the prostitutes

[DoILookSerious]

get the AK-47 <-- lol

[SOFIAAAA]

haha free lindsay t shirt

[1MrKoolbad]

i never noticed no joke

[UnknownXV]

Bald is fine on someone with darker skin. It looks fucking freaky on a white guy with a baby face like me. FML.

[pws92]

Thanks Skyy!

[hot6235]

if a guy got emotionally attacched to me, I'd feel really guilty that I have to break his heart.

[Logan800]

well said skyy, u are a smart man

[tonysherry2133]

thats sum real shit good looking out.

[YoYoCrazyBee]

I love your bald head Skyy!!! :)

[Christmas800]

if shes hot idc if she stalks me. but if she becomes a violent stalker ill just kill her.

[1eisha1]

YOU ARE FUNNY AS FUCK!!!!!

[LTwallawalla]

THIS IS FUCKING THE MOST TRUE ADVICES EVER O.O!!!!!!!!!!

[Darclipz]

Look at him for a minute then close the blinds on his ass LOL!

[superlogh]

@zangzam haha, I know what you mean, and what really gets her going is when you send her a video of it.

[bigslamDAman]

I prefer cybernetstalking more actully, I got my favorit girls I like to watch on youporn.com =D

[UltimateKing011]

@bigslamDAman hey i like that site! tell me what to search

[bigslamDAman]

@UltimateKing011 It was a long time since i entered that site... but girls with the name Veronica often got some good vids xD

[Qwntyn]

if there ugly fake like im playin in my ass/ if they look good walk up to the window naked

[zangzam]

Revenge sex is the best. Nothing says fuck you like screwing her friend.

[bmendel95]

lol the add next to the video is for igrow hair solution

[StyleGuy08]

I'd stick my head out the window, while dialing 9-1-1, and ask: "did you lose something"?! Lol.

[iSP1TF1R3i]

Great advice about the embracing weaknesses Skyy, you da man! ;)

[violetqueen]

i would shoot him in the ass.. dumb fuck

[Krakrest]

A girl used to stalk me every day for 6 months i didn't know this until she started contacting me, it was alright cause i didn't know this until like 3 months ago. One day i caugth her stalking and went on a little trip with her, it started a journey.. and today shes my fucking nympho girlfriend! So.. please if the stalker is hot like my GF embrace it brothers!

[punklifee]

how do you embrace your baldness if you have a big forehead? Just wondering, cause I have a big forehead and I dont want to look like megamind

[nadendas]

table but she looked at me like i just spoke chineas or something. now in the current semester i found out from a few different people that she actually stalks alot of people (23 by my count but i'm probably missing a few) me and my friend that i met her from included and somehow she figured out were my 3rd and 4th classes are so she literally waits for me to get near them and she follows me to the door so i now have a diffrent rout to my classes and every day i'm almost late wow this is long

[nadendas]

course the first thing she does when she sees me is go up to me wile i was talking to someone and she says in a hi pitched voice "hi jesse" to me and i turn around to see who said hi and i saw her waving at me i was praying she wasn't in my class. this went on every day and also every time we went into the library (it was an english class so we went to the library alot) she sat at my table and since i'm not an prick i didnt rudly shew her away i just politaly asked her to sit at a diffrent

[nadendas]

keep in mind as your reading this that i'm 15, there is a girl at my school named alley rivers she has autism and looks kind of strange, not trying to make fun of her its just that i cant really discribe her face and i'm just stating a fact, and i met her because she followed my friend, who i wont name, around and i was talking to my friend at the time so she noticed me and started to talk to me. i never really liked her to begin with but last semester i had my first period class with her and of

[PeaceSideProductions]

Skyy you smoke cigs (mohawk pic) wtf!!!?? thats not cool

[CRAZEDtranceaddict]

@PeaceSideProductions oh shutup you preachy bastard

[LOOOL811]

@PeaceSideProductions He quit smoking a while ago.

[drunkenboxer123456]

Your not bald, you got rabies

[Alihisss666]

Revenge is the next best thing next to pussy. And yes, I'd fuck her brains out like there's no tomorrow.

[strongvseddy2006]

Great!!!

[SkyyJohn2]

@bbreezy51 Yes, I'm from Nassau

[Superageofreason]

skyyjohn why do people say that ryan seacrest is gay? Is it a fact. Or is it that many people dislike him, because he gossips. And gossipping is womens thing. Or are they jealous? You live in America you know better then me.

[Anglacer]

i got no problem with stalkers in the bush. i mean, what she gonna do?..

- Anglacer™

[DAVERUKY]

go to the gym and shave u hair.only answer.

[supra29]

Shoot the person with a paintball gun 200 times end of story :D

[OnyxmediaOnline]

RIGHT ON SKYY! Great advice!

[ateela15]

Pssh any girl i had sex with is my type of girl, so if she is stalking me and i know it then i would be trying to fuck her all the time. I couldn't care less about the stalking.

[EmoTiger25]

I call the police, just to scared the mother fucker and tell him "This is what happens if you stalk me" XD

[Kalonsoldierfront]

press 3 over and over again for the lulz

[deesharkz]

good advice

[ADD8oi]

if a chick was stalking me? id drop my pants right there and be all like "chick what it do"

[chai83x]

its not creepy if you stalk someone if your hot

[finegirl1993]

i would throw something through the widow and say oh shit i didn't see you there

[Shadi4130]

invite them in and FUCK :D

[RufaroDiaries]

hahahaha "hey!! fat bald guy here, lets make love!!" rofl

[ImDaMann333]

Bang her then change my name and move

[Qcnigga]

I don't know what colour this PWS92 dude is, but I think black people look better bald than white people. Some white people can pull it off, but it's pulled off much easier by black people IMO.

[LilBlitz116]

drink cod liver oil and rub aloe vera on ur hair.ur balding would stop

[bloodshedhero]

I'm okay with a girl being a bit clingy. But if it gets to the point of watching me from bushes, then her and I would probably need a break for a while... Like you said, having space is important.

[downtothewire42]

i would go out there and join them. i don't have shrubs so i'd love to see how they're pullin that off

[Anci3ntz0wn]

I would go inside and pretend to call my mom or something, really I'd call the cops.

Unless she was hot. Then I'd invite her inside and pound that shortcake

[Ruber212]

LOL the stalker question had me rollin!

[Mchlgraca15]

fucking hilarious



[DAYTIME504]

the whole stalker thing  reeks of double standards and the whole "girls not wanting what wants them" scenerio XD

to that Unkown guy..the biggest mistake you made WAS telling how you feel...

WOMEN expect you to crack under pussy pressure..which then boosts their ego...which then eventually leads to her avoiding you and labeling you a stalker...

so the key is to be impentratable...and dont say SHIT about your feelings until she brings it up first

[chillmeister509]

Stalking is all fun until someone gets raped.

[babbycarlosNum2]

2:41 dramatic stare into space

[NekoJinRei]

I'd smash the girl in the bushes. Then call the cops on her a**.

[shugerplum0000]

haha punanny



[chocolateluver117]

Call the frickin' cops, I don't deal with that kind of shit!

[BlackhawksFan247]

Pretend you don't see her and invite her best friend over to have sex while she watches. Or join in idgaf.

[MrrMango69]

I'd go out there and ask if they wanted another go. 

[DMsLiveLife]

If i saw a someone watching me id get a knife and serve them a sandwitch and finish what i was doing!!!

[weemark18]

embrase your baldness and your fatness LMFAO classic skyjohn

[EyeMOweKay]

I can give fuck less about my ex's, so no I wouldn't sleep with someone I don't like to get back at an ex, it's too childish. I would fuck their friends... they always have some gorgeous hot friends.

[aryansinred]

Skyy, you know girls so well! That's exactly what we do - we say shit we don't mean. LOL. Love you skyy; keep these vids coming :)

[XeeChannel]

LMAO

[bramskits]

I'd give her a show!

[MrScdpp]

wink at him and mouth the words "oh yeah"

[hailhopes]

FREE LINDSAY!

[BadMannerKorea]

Yeah, don't tell the fat man to lose weight or anything. It won't matter how positive he is---it won't counter the fact he has heart disease and will die at 45.

[JCHONDA2NR]

your a motivational speaker!! you should have your own tour around the world!! you speak the truth!!

[torrid426]

QOTD

Smack her on the ass and do her doggie while I smile at the guy out the window.

[rachitballer]

I'm down with her voyeur fetish

[harris3693]

If the stalker was a hot chick, I would invite her in to bang her, if not, Ill bring out my Dragunov rifle on her, fuck em ugly chicks!!!!

[Mstarnr92]

I would do da Porkspin! :D

[Mohamed518]

i'd take practice shots at her with my paintball gun and she would forgive me being that crazy over me

[ivellios]

I'd whip out my cock and give'em a show

[Unknown1101]

What the hell?? Damn you Skyy, are you fucking kidding me? That wasn't exactly what my question was, it was incorrect and you angled it like a gaddamn rotten journalist... but maybe I wasn't clear enough... I DON'T stalk them ... I just startin' to like them, period.

.... and what the fuck happend to the last part of the mail where I wrote "I'd appreciate if you didn't mention my nick??

I mad at you Skyy... you hear me?! Mad...

[harris3693]

@Unknown1101 lol!!!

[Nemesis13Blades]

@Unknown1101 hilarious

[thewonderfulferret]

@Unknown1101

.....Chill out man. He didn't really say anything negative about you ._.

[son0fnegr0damus]

@Unknown1101 lmao man!!

[meggaiwa]

@Unknown1101 1 week relationships? Wtf, are you 13? Most people see their girlfriend 1-2 times maximum in one week.

[Nickasauur]

@Unknown1101 man up and get over it you clingy bastard :D

[Kalonsoldierfront]

@Unknown1101 grow some balls before i bitch slap you and act like a man

[dbitencourt6]

@Unknown1101 If your relationships don't last long, you're showing your feelings to the girl, women like to seduce, when they realize you're in love, and they are not, they dump you. There's no way you won't like the girl, we don't have control over that, just don't let her know too soon... But mentioning your nick... skyyjohn u r a bastard!

[venticyanide]

@Unknown1101

Skyy made you hate him so you wouldn't stalk him.

[SkyyJohn2]

@Unknown1101 Why the fuck are you mad at me?!!!! LMAO! ALL I did was shorten your question. I'll make it up to you. If you have a webcam I'll do a video interview with you and post here on the site. How's that?

[JamesMuia]

@Unknown1101 Suck it up cupcake!

[betterdropdatdonk]

@Unknown1101 Heartless robot with no emotions makes you a playa. Start fallin in love youre not a playa anymore youre a chess piece, a pawn part of the game.

[TBreezyP]

@Unknown1101 I'm sorry for whatever happened, but it is just a youtube name. It's not like anyone knows who you are through youtube. If it was FaceBook that would be completely different but it is youtube so I am sure you are fine. And you have to twist the questions to make them more interesting and fun to answer. Either way, it sucks he offended you but you did send in the question. Good luck with the rest of your life, and don't sweat the small stuff.

[CornNho]

I'd hit it...but my friends cant know...

[DsexLive]

I'd pull my ass cheeks apart to show em my hairy ass, pretty sure that would ruin their fantasy's about me :D

[harris3693]

@DsexLive ummm, if they have a libido of that of a nympho, they won't. they'll fuck anything in sight!!!

[ElTomo11]

Black guys look better bald.

[RealityHurts923]

Wish I had a stalker :(

[SkyyJohn2]

@RealityHurts923 Why? So you could bang her? Sick bastard!

[RealityHurts923]

@SkyyJohn2 LOL, Ya, I can be a pretty sick bastard but after all, I do watch your show :)

[lilwayyne]

@SkyyJohn2 is there any other reason why he or any of the others of us are here?

[iliketwinkie]

@SkyyJohn2 Just to let you know, you the best Black Guy on the planet, your my hero =), and your horny as hell, sad thing is iam barely sexual active.

[XanderRcage]

Shit id call her and be like "WHERE are you???" lol if she lies then stalker if she says outside then for the first couple of times thats cute......first couple of times..............

[hunip098]

its cool when a black guy goes bald e.g MJ, Vince Carter, Tyrese.

When a white guy goes bald its gay e.g Bruce Willis, Prince William

[Skleevan]

@hunip098 Thats the most retarded comment on this video so far. So your saying Jason Statham is Gay? He's one of the most alpha guys in acting today, Vin Diesel is gay too? Yeah, him and his 20 inch arms look reaaaal gay dont they? Idiot.

[phamax111]

Well skyy in Texas we have the Castle Law so I got the martial are of click clack pow Glock 19 on their ass. That is what I would do.

[TheElite203]

Get the stalker to get me a cup of coffee and a sandwich, set up a bear trap while the person was away and run the fuck away when they are stuck.

[Hoobes1]

I would knee the motherfucker in the face!...I don't get it...ever since I came to college I see these stalkers for the first time in my life, following other people like fucking creeps. All my friends talk about how creepy they are and then 2 months later, I find out they're fucking the creep behind the bushes! What the FUCK is wrong with you people?!

[Ojokernegro]

@Hoobes1 Lmao, welcome to college

[xOutIawStarx]

I'd ask her why she's in the shrubs and not in my bed! I'd hit that a couple more times and cut her loose...I've had my share of bad experiences with stalkers...

[computerjero]

If a hot chick was stalking me I'd invite her in and fuck her.

[twilightawakening]

@computerjero What if an ugly chick was staking you (more likely).

[computerjero]

@twilightawakening I might convince myself to do some social work.

[BigEKarl]

I told her we should go for a ride and I pushed her out when we got near her house. Bitches Be Crazy!!!

[turkey210294]

That picture was too funny. You looked kind of old for high school dude?!

[aassaa99]

Sky i need help brotha give us more advice on how to act with chick in a relationship ..this advice was eye opening

[inuninga]

Let her inside and ask if i can hit it again XD

[foranyonewhocares]

Spray some weedkiller on the bushes, and if that don't get him to leave, then maybe he'll have chemical poisoning. Win/win

[EC2CREW100]

LOL my gosh Skyy that pic had me rolling

[UncommonAngel66]

You gave the soundest and most useful advice to the young guy. I do agree with another commenter, however, he should get his thyroid checked and go to a doctor that does his own evaluation of all of his symptoms and not on the test result alone, which can register normal and a person still have thyroid issues. Actually, that advice you gave is for all of us. Whatever our weakness is, turn it into our strength. You ROCK!

[LOOOL811]

I'd cock slap that mother fucker through the window and go right back to banging the chick once he's unconscious.

[thefreshprince1315]

LMAO one of the best ask the johns

[laxgod01]

i think that was one of the first female impressions that skys done that the girl hasnt been cross eyed lol

[TF2legend]

to the 18 year old bald fat dude, check you thyroid levels. That might be the cause of your hair loss cause 18 is too young to start losing your hair.

[Istudynak1d]

bald dude don't sweat it just cut your hair and start working out, for the stalker gf i would go out and bang her in the bushes then say "yeaaaaaaah whose crazy now bitch" I fight fire with fire, true story bro.

[Fight2GetPaid]

I'd turn the sprinklers on that bitch :)

[OmegaPisces]

A friendly stalker = 1 of two friendly responses.

1. A restraining order

2. "Get off my property" *clickity clack shotgun magic*

[blubuubz]

id go outside ask her if she wants to come in for rouns 2... if she doesnt... ill call the cops

[keta4332]

i'd RUN FROM the stalker FAST!

[keta4332]

men that's going bald SHOULD shave their heads BALD! it's pointless to comb your hair over b/c everyone know!

[son0fnegr0damus]

i've seen all of the skyjohns ever uploaded, what the fuck! now i have nothing to watch after each video! fuck!!

[Forscythe80]

Does this mean we should stick Donald Trump on our christmas trees?

PS: Black bald guys look cool. White bald guys look like neo nazis.

[danthordan]

Embrace the baldness! But definitely get into the shape though

[SLYGUY923]

Start jackin off!!

[MrCashmoney324]

flash my dick. Then say " u get one more ride"

[irandompersun]

Invite her in for more sex.

[KnxghtStrxpes]

round 2, bitch get over here !

[blu3matrix]

i'd invite her in for another round :D b/c she knows what this brotha is packing and it's KING DONG!!

[infamousxmexican]

5:09 so true

[lilrobda1]

1:15 LMFAOOO

Anyway, I may like a girl alot, but stalking ain't in my repertoire. lol

[SlanderBanter]

I would say to her 'Wanna go another round?' :)

[evil4563]

Keeping a girl is like keeping a fire going to mutch wood(not in the cents of a penis) and it will die out.

[BATEzX]

12 gage beeatch! adiaos!

[aussiebear22]

Pws92: Shave head. Eat healthy and only when you're hungry. Exercise regularly. Start small and build up...Being persistent AND consistent pays off the in the long run.

Unknown1101: Needy nice guy?...Cut that out. Women want a Man. Not a desperate pussy worshiper. What have you got going in your life? Hobbies? Local sports club? Etc. Your problem is that you smother women until they push you away because you have too much spare time.

[gosciu555]

Stalker Guy, call Doc Love and get the System.

[HenryHemroids]

To the fat bald guy: To fix your dilemma simply shave your head, apply rogaine, and work the FUCK out. Then approach attractive sluts and talk to them, make them laugh, be yourself, and be confident! You'll be having so many illegitimate children that your dick will be telling you to take it fucking easy. =]

[gfsfg111]

hahahaha Free Lindsay.... I SAY NO!

[deadkennedys909]

If a chick I just banged was looking at me in the bushs after we just banged.. Fuck it shes coming back in for a round 2

[Maurilio69M]

well if she was fine id say " hey what you doing out there come in " but if she wasnt then i would pretend i have to leave my house for something important and be gone all day .

[DontEatTheFish73]

i jump in the shrubs and give that bitch the outdoor fuck of her life!

[sadomasicisticdeath]

Run outside with a machete and bring them inside before the fun begins.

[DontEatTheFish73]

sounds like ryan needs to join the skinhead nation!

[evilsean1]

"We know Ryan! You're not fooling anyone!!" Hahaha great shit!

[Inkrediblepwn]

It's a shame if you say you fall "in love" motherfucker you don't know what love is if you fall "in love" with everyone. DUMBASS.

[OhiosBadBoy]

What? There better not be some gay dude peeping in my window, I will kick his ass to no end and drag him in the house and call the police and beat him some more while i wait. He won't ever do it again for sure!

[batbomb9]

Go in the bushes and pretend you don't see her. Start peeing in the bushes :)

[Jman3teen]

like the answer to all of your questions,

Im a guy so id hit it and leave, but a girl would most likely freak out

[KingNate337]

Grab my glock in start shootin everwhere cuz I dont play dat stalker shit

[batbomb9]

My friend Colt 45 doesn't like stalkers

[DoctorBojangIes]

Pws92: Lose weight. Exercise. Feel and look better. Profit.

[ruumpleteaser]

Im a guy and when i was in grade 10 a girl use to follow me home. My friends and i use to get drunk and send that stalker running all around the city with fake text messages for our own amusement. Stalkers can be fun.

[MChuey22]

i would take a video pic of them and put it on the web sayin look at this slow mothafucker in my damn bushes

[eggroll9000]

LMAO that picture

[krazykat763]

sky's right. us girls always say and think that we want a guy that's crazy about us until it actually happens and then we're like "why the hell is this guy stalking me?!?!?!"

[Larrygallis]

lol @ skyy with mohawk