@zionistredhead if they're not married i could still see why it is fitting to call them girls in this sense, it's like bachurah for an unmarried female and bachur for an unmarried male, i'm 28, but i'm not married and in that sense someone may describe me to a potential girl as a "nice boy" when you get married it makes you more a man, it's hard to understand but there is a logic to the inclination to call unmarried singles boys and girls...think about it, when u marry it completes you inasense~
There are many reasons for the shidduch problem that we have today. Age gap, kollel only mindset, being too picky for any reason, looking for the perfect girl or guy, not being able to find someone your type, money, illnesses, etc...
There are plenty of good guys suffering as well. I think if every engaged couple/married would think of each others single friends even once once a week or month or even a year. (no matter the age) we could solve the problem.
Another thing, just who was at this conference? Who do you expect to do the closing of the gap? Because if you think the shadchans should just suggest girls the same age as the boys, you are fooling yourselves. There are plenty of 50 something men out there who never married. They refused to consider anyone who wasn't disgustingly younger than themselves. This is the problem. What has to change is the mentality of the boys and that the bigger the age gap, the better.
I beg to diifer. I know of a number of "older" girls who are perfedtly normal, attractive and from good home. I don't know of any guys let alone in yeshiva that are normal etc etc but just can't find a shidduch. And the ones that do exist are being redd a lot of girls while the girls are at home waiting for the phone to ring.
If women aren't married by the time they are 24, they are obviously defunct and it's probably better. There is probably something wrong with them. [sarc]
@tawil89 There's definitely a crisis, I know a ridiculous amount of people looking to get married who aren't yet, but we can't pin that on an "age gap." Sometimes people are too picky, sometimes they're looking in the wrong place, sometimes the insane emphasis on the shidduch resume is the reason, the list goes on and I don't think it's plausible to blame it on the "age gap"
i would say that it's hard to really "blame" it on anything in particular but the whole résumé-mindset of the shidduch world is a huge problem regardless of whether that is the root of the "crisis."
if this video becomes popular enough, and it seems to be on its way, there will definitely be parody videos and/or responses mocking it. I'm not saying that there is no "crisis" or that there is no serious problem, only that this is great raw material for the non-yeshivah world to make a mockery out of us.
IOW, why was a self-proclaimed "yeshivah world" video published on youtube?
Does this really belong on YouTube, where the non-frum Jews can just have another chance to laugh at us?
Maybe it's the music, but this does kind of come across as making us look foolish.
When people understand what's important in a marriage isn't a girl's dress size or paper plates, we might start seeing more marriages. And it would also help if men realized women have biological clocks, and therefore, a 45 year old, wasn't looking to marry a 28 year old.
Is it just me or did the music remind anyone else of Titanic (i.e. not getting a Shidduch = dying in a wet and icy grave)? (Well, it is called the freezer..) Maybe the Shidduch "Crisis" has more to do with women deciding for themselves that they want to make their own choices and less with a oversimplified age gap... oh the horror!
I am a nice frum guy who wants to marry a nice frum girl. It's unreal the utterly ridiculous reasons why I have been rejected by these girls. So, I say, if you want to solve the crisis then get these girls into immediate psychotherapy.
I'm so glad the comments so far were so on the ball. I basically agree. Everyone seems to miss the boat. It's not about age gap or money or shidduch resume's . IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE TOO PICKY ! - in regards to finding someone to marry. Everyone's looking for a sort of perfection, when really marriage is mainly about about fiding someone who has basically good qualities and making a relationship work- post marriage. That's what jews used to do, but now no one wants to "settle" or compromise
They can't see the forest because of the trees. Roshe' HaYeshivas. Open up your eyes and don't sign some stupid letter. Do more to fix this issue. We now have a generation of little spoiled boys and girls obcessed with getting materila things. So, if these girls aren't cute, come from "yuchus" and have money, they're hosed.
It's not an age gap. It's a brain gap starting from the top and working its way down.
@freetobefreddy it's all about the hits my friend - I get into some fight with you over nothing - like two guys fighting over parking spots - then someone says "wow this guy is a retard" let's see what his profile says - then they click on some videos and possible my blog or facebook page - and walla - more traffic - it's kind of backward but it works
@freetobefreddy in those years we didn't have something called the Internet - a place where every problem becomes a crisis, a place where people can complain all day long and plus it sells more papers and gets more traffic to people's blogs and "news" sites.
What I want to know is what the numbers would be if they take a survey of the same amount of guys from yeshiva - i have a feeling the numbers would be very similar
Comment removed
TheRivable 4 months ago
29-year-old women are not "girls".
zionistredhead 11 months ago
@zionistredhead if they're not married i could still see why it is fitting to call them girls in this sense, it's like bachurah for an unmarried female and bachur for an unmarried male, i'm 28, but i'm not married and in that sense someone may describe me to a potential girl as a "nice boy" when you get married it makes you more a man, it's hard to understand but there is a logic to the inclination to call unmarried singles boys and girls...think about it, when u marry it completes you inasense~
inspiredmusic1 7 months ago
There are many reasons for the shidduch problem that we have today. Age gap, kollel only mindset, being too picky for any reason, looking for the perfect girl or guy, not being able to find someone your type, money, illnesses, etc...
There are plenty of good guys suffering as well. I think if every engaged couple/married would think of each others single friends even once once a week or month or even a year. (no matter the age) we could solve the problem.
jkappy05 2 years ago
Another thing, just who was at this conference? Who do you expect to do the closing of the gap? Because if you think the shadchans should just suggest girls the same age as the boys, you are fooling yourselves. There are plenty of 50 something men out there who never married. They refused to consider anyone who wasn't disgustingly younger than themselves. This is the problem. What has to change is the mentality of the boys and that the bigger the age gap, the better.
Michalbasavraham 2 years ago
Speaking from experience, being pressured by everyone in the community to date makes me want to NOT get married.
The guys find stupid stuff wrong with the women, too.
Michalbasavraham 2 years ago
I beg to diifer. I know of a number of "older" girls who are perfedtly normal, attractive and from good home. I don't know of any guys let alone in yeshiva that are normal etc etc but just can't find a shidduch. And the ones that do exist are being redd a lot of girls while the girls are at home waiting for the phone to ring.
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
That person said [sarc] at the end. They were being sarcastic....
Michalbasavraham 2 years ago
I was replying to Frumsatire but it didn't get posted that way
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
Comment removed
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
If women aren't married by the time they are 24, they are obviously defunct and it's probably better. There is probably something wrong with them. [sarc]
deathviaboredom 2 years ago
lol this is the most ridiculous thing ive ever seen!!! solve the "crisis" by dissolving status shidduchim etc....
MARTINSTERN 2 years ago
the "age gap" is so far from the reason for the "shidduch crisis," it's unbelievable to me that this video was made and posted on youtube.
gilitcooper 2 years ago
what is the reason then?
do you acknowledge a "crisis" at all and see a different cause or deny a "crisis" altogether?
I'm interested to hear...
tawil89 2 years ago
@tawil89 There's definitely a crisis, I know a ridiculous amount of people looking to get married who aren't yet, but we can't pin that on an "age gap." Sometimes people are too picky, sometimes they're looking in the wrong place, sometimes the insane emphasis on the shidduch resume is the reason, the list goes on and I don't think it's plausible to blame it on the "age gap"
gilitcooper 2 years ago
aha, i see.
I agree.
i would say that it's hard to really "blame" it on anything in particular but the whole résumé-mindset of the shidduch world is a huge problem regardless of whether that is the root of the "crisis."
tawil89 2 years ago
@gilitcooper so just because you know a ridiculous amount of people looking that makes it a crisis?
Aids is a crisis, but people waiting until they are 28 to marry is an issue or maybe a problem - hardly a crisis.
frumsatire 2 years ago
@frumsatire notice i put crisis in quotes. I am referring to a situation.
gilitcooper 2 years ago
@tawil89 the Jewish Press, Yated, YWN and VIN can get more hits and papers sold by talking repeatedly about something without trying to solve it.
frumsatire 2 years ago
if this video becomes popular enough, and it seems to be on its way, there will definitely be parody videos and/or responses mocking it. I'm not saying that there is no "crisis" or that there is no serious problem, only that this is great raw material for the non-yeshivah world to make a mockery out of us.
IOW, why was a self-proclaimed "yeshivah world" video published on youtube?
tawil89 2 years ago
Does this really belong on YouTube, where the non-frum Jews can just have another chance to laugh at us?
Maybe it's the music, but this does kind of come across as making us look foolish.
When people understand what's important in a marriage isn't a girl's dress size or paper plates, we might start seeing more marriages. And it would also help if men realized women have biological clocks, and therefore, a 45 year old, wasn't looking to marry a 28 year old.
beyondCharnie 2 years ago
Is it just me or did the music remind anyone else of Titanic (i.e. not getting a Shidduch = dying in a wet and icy grave)? (Well, it is called the freezer..) Maybe the Shidduch "Crisis" has more to do with women deciding for themselves that they want to make their own choices and less with a oversimplified age gap... oh the horror!
Lizardqueen11 2 years ago
I am a nice frum guy who wants to marry a nice frum girl. It's unreal the utterly ridiculous reasons why I have been rejected by these girls. So, I say, if you want to solve the crisis then get these girls into immediate psychotherapy.
bhstone1 2 years ago
Comment removed
Lizardqueen11 2 years ago
This is a general rule and I'm sure there are exceptions (blablabla).
Ask any single you know if there truly is a lack of people to date , or they don't like any of them because of........... ???
shragydog 2 years ago
I'm so glad the comments so far were so on the ball. I basically agree. Everyone seems to miss the boat. It's not about age gap or money or shidduch resume's . IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE TOO PICKY ! - in regards to finding someone to marry. Everyone's looking for a sort of perfection, when really marriage is mainly about about fiding someone who has basically good qualities and making a relationship work- post marriage. That's what jews used to do, but now no one wants to "settle" or compromise
shragydog 2 years ago
They can't see the forest because of the trees. Roshe' HaYeshivas. Open up your eyes and don't sign some stupid letter. Do more to fix this issue. We now have a generation of little spoiled boys and girls obcessed with getting materila things. So, if these girls aren't cute, come from "yuchus" and have money, they're hosed.
It's not an age gap. It's a brain gap starting from the top and working its way down.
jsghanoni 2 years ago
Curious, not to argue on the Roshie Yeshiva, what happened in the 60s and 70s and 80s? It was also a growing population and boys married older?
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
Are you denying the words of roshei yeshiva? Are you denying the words of God himself?
frumsatire 2 years ago
frumsatire, don't be a shmuck!
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
@freetobefreddy But I am a shmuck
frumsatire 2 years ago
You don't have to take Youtube's tagline "Broadcast Yourself" literally.
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
@freetobefreddy it's all about the hits my friend - I get into some fight with you over nothing - like two guys fighting over parking spots - then someone says "wow this guy is a retard" let's see what his profile says - then they click on some videos and possible my blog or facebook page - and walla - more traffic - it's kind of backward but it works
frumsatire 2 years ago
No prob, whatever floats your boat. One question, how do you benefit from more traffic?
freetobefreddy 2 years ago
@freetobefreddy in those years we didn't have something called the Internet - a place where every problem becomes a crisis, a place where people can complain all day long and plus it sells more papers and gets more traffic to people's blogs and "news" sites.
What I want to know is what the numbers would be if they take a survey of the same amount of guys from yeshiva - i have a feeling the numbers would be very similar
frumsatire 2 years ago