Louis CK - Boys vs Girls

[bingbong2161]

first video of his that i watched i almost shit my pants...so i brought the laptop with me to the bathroom to finish the video

[MrMonkeyThumbsticks]

Louis should have responded to his daughter "LIFE ISN'T FAIR!"

That's how I was brought up and I turned out to be a logical, reasoning human being

[swimmieswammi]

I poop 2 much.. And then I get tired.

[iAmAlascar]

0:00

[oldfeagel454]

this is one of the best standup comedy that i ever have seen

[rune12418]

Yeah that's where that shit goes!!! Omg I fucking died!!

[Kindred1a1]

@rune12418

Seriously toooo funny lol

[52leveler]

Anyone knows the name of this monolog=?

[brgcivic06]

amen

[JiveDadson]

His five year old has a future in US politics.

[EGarrett01]

Louis's 5-year-old is a born Democrat.

[refch]

Nietzsche said that women are a timless times more cruel than men, this guys realized the same

[MatthewMarkMendoza]

It's funny because it's true.

[marcostgabriel]

"women shit in your heart"

[TehMezdawg]

hits the head on the nail

[13DeathHazel]

i sometimes watch the commercials.....:'(

[gustrago3ln]

wuajkajkajkajkjkajka conchatumare la wea filete!

[JustuliukexD]

This person is men god.

[jkjkjkish]

" a man will steal your car or burn your house down or beat the shit out of you but a women will ruin your fucking life" no truer words have been spoken.... well maybe except for dylan moran on his perception of women and men it's just as good

[canomia]

Well except that men will also shit inside your heart and ruin who you are as a person.

[felixduhcat89]

Man this is so true.

[xEtiquettex]

None of what he said was true. It was amusing though

[MegaWinnieGirl]

@xEtiquettex I think there was some level of truth in his words.

[ThumbsUpMike]

@xEtiquettex ...what world do you live in?

this is very true, maybe your the lucky one outside of the majority who suffer from these distinctions

[TomValedro]

louis isn't that funny, i dont get why he is so popular

[AlpacaNYC]

@TomValedro I think it was Jim Norton who once said, "There are 3 kinds of comics - Funny, Original, and Hacks." CK is more Original than funny, like Bill Hicks was.

[LukasAreSuperman]

@TomValedro Then dont watch this, you retard

[TomValedro]

@LukasAreSuperman Well I won't, but obviously I hate to watch it before I can comment on it. DERP

[TomValedro]

@TomValedro Have**

[LukasAreSuperman]

@TomValedro Then how do you know hes not funny?

[TomValedro]

@LukasAreSuperman Because I watched it and then decided he wasn't funny.

[shreknet]

Men are learning how to be bitches though. Androgyny?

Remember when a two guys would have a fight and then it would be done? A noble standoff?

Not these days. Now there will be some creepy dude on the side trying to disassemble the poor guys psyche during the aftermath. Hit em in the heart.

The lines are becoming blurred. Recent studies have shown that men are starting to gossip more than women as well. Create dissension in the workplace through snide verbal comments. F'd up!

[lebaneseameer]

@shreknet This is why......If I get in a fight and fuck somebody up, I can go to jail....I will be arrested and substantial evidence will be shown in court to convict me. Psychological damage, while still illegal, is harder to punish somebody on!! lol

[ALPHAHXCORE]

@lebaneseameer psychological damage is not always illegal.

[lebaneseameer]

@ALPHAHXCORE even validates my point even more.....physical damage is illegal always while psychological isn't!!

[EvilDanzig]

@shreknet Maybe the differences have made the two more alike over the recent years.

[jrhafelein]

So True....

[Ektherion00]

Boys fuck things up, girls are fucked up.

Put that shit on a t-shirt and sell it!

[NewFriiiikan]

@Ektherion00

Actually dont cause I think Louis got enough stolen from him.

[Nalimhuh]

Omg lolz Truer words have never seen the light of day.

[greatsea]

For those of you feeling the need to point out that he's overgeneralizing, he's doing expressionist comedy. It is called distortionism. That's just the kind of art it is. So chill.

[gking407]

So true.. women have devised a way to fend for themselves that does not rely on physical strength. It's evolution, and you can't fight it.

[Johnwestcomedy]

Check out new stand up @ johnwestcomedy (no spaces)

[51lodb]

Truer words were never spoken

[AntiSocialChannel85]

True True...

[AN8DR15EI]

which Special is this from?

[Zexis0710]

Women will shit in your heart...amen.

[hl2portas]

bb

[cassiekemp]

Omg I watched this 3 times it was do funny.

[LePatronVEVO]

Omg this guy so geniusss!!!

[georgemfr]

"....and i did." LMAO!!!!

[chrispeters328]

when it says "you can skip this add in 5 seconds" who in the fuck do they think is actually gonna watch the stupid commercials

[allnamesaretakenful]

@chrispeters328 I skip most but occasionally you get one that is good. Maybe you just have crappy luck.

[trouble2214]

@chrispeters328 I did once, only because it had Chuck Norris in it.

[AlexGolightly]

@chrispeters328 I know, it's stupid. Don't say that too much though because then they'll just give us 40 second trailers with no option to skip it.

[elvis32z]

@chrispeters328 I find the implied racism to be very offensive. You cocksucker!

[FloydIV]

@chrispeters328 I haven't seen an ad in youtube in years.. YOU SHOULD DOWNLOAD ADBLOCKER NOW! ITS FREE! GOOGLE IT! DOWNLOAD IT! NO MORE ADS. EVAR!!!

[MrFongsong]

@FloydIV Ads support all those free websites you probably love going to. By downloading adblocker, you cut out the ads, which means the site doesn't gain money to support all the bandwidth you are leaching.

Turn off adblocker, it ruins it for the rest of us

[FloydIV]

@MrFongsong mmmmmmmm no :D

[monkeyslaye]

@chrispeters328 They do it to encourage the company to pay them more to get the ads where you can't skip it.

[GREENandYELLOW80]

@chrispeters328 especially when some of em are twenty minutes long

[mejy111]

@chrispeters328 I WATCH THEM...

[DreadnautSentrosi]

@chrispeters328 Get adblock. Live your life free of internet ads :D

[yunikage]

@DreadnautSentrosi ...because adblock prevents ads on YT.

Ok buddy.

[DWANER986]

@chrispeters328 at least you could!

[StillLife33]

Thats not completly true. I found a guy who will fuck with you emotionally, metally, and physically if you let him into your life. Answer that one.

[paultwomany]

@StillLife33 There's always an exception to every rule, maybe he wants to be a woman deep inside?

[PumaFau]

@StillLife33 a lot of guys who do that have feminine qualities

[ousooners5193]

@StillLife33 He's speaking to the human condition which has the side effect of being very general. I think you're missing the point.

[Lateralus347]

@StillLife33 He's making this thing called a joke.

[dietoolife]

@StillLife33 Gee..... that's one person.

[allynesswhoa]

Dammit, he's so good.

[meagannnaliseee]

just found my new favorite comedian.

[richig761]

@meagannnaliseee Ain't that the damn truth.

[XoxdaddyslilgirlxoX]

1:27 < HAHAHAHAH

[1901rino]

Took me 25 seconds to like this guy.

[MisterRedstone]

This guy's comedy is the sex.

[TheSUBGAMER]

most of girls now days are retarded whores that abuse the double standards in law

if a girl hits you nothing ,if you hit a girl you go to jail

[TRA6023]

@TheSUBGAMER that's the point. double standards. they don't wanna be "equal". or would you like to be equal to your dog? cuz men are the dogs, and women are the masters. the stuff about oppression and patriarchy is just bullshit.

[TheSUBGAMER]

@TRA6023 so true man,but not in my home

[InsaneBillykane]

Women be Jerkasses.

[behappy452]

@InsaneBillykane well thats kind of genralising don't you think?

[suhuur300]

Non- violent? Lies.

[locomotive185]

Lol best video on YouTube........ahahahaha hats off 'Louis'

[locomotive185]

Lol fucked up.....

[1lakerfanforeva]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­haahahahahahahahhahahahahahaa.­...but guys aren't that different; guys do the same thing. They are just better at making it seem like the girl's fault.

[gurtznak]

@1lakerfanforeva Nope. Now a days you blame everything on the guys. We are the ones who hurt, steal and so on. Never a woman. Never a womans fault to start with. And look at how they punish women that comit crimes and then men who comit the same crime. They guys sits 20 years and woman 5 years top.s

[xertaqaadka]

it ain't hard to tell, women are unbelievably evil but we cant live with out them........

[YUGIOHbuyANDsell]

@xertaqaadka man, gay men must be soooo happy lol

[keysaysassah]

@YUGIOHbuyANDsell Besides the persecution, discrimination, hate and not being able to marry the person you want in most states Hell Maybe.

[tharbk01]

@keysaysassah oh puhlleez stp being such a queen.

[stevo2440]

This guy is a comedic genius. This cut is as true as any I ever heard. Just as true as Chris Rocks "black people vs niggers"

[AbsolutMint]

BF3. Rated M. Censors bitch in some Jay Z song.

[MrCanuck55]

chuck norris is a hunter

[Hyperspacewizard]

Non violent tell that to the men that get their penis's cut off... Yep real non violent

[123baseballrox]

Who gives a fuck? Both genders are douche bags.

[phillyeagles202]

Haha im picturing success kid with that handful of sand

[thenfm]

cure hipster faggotry: MANHOOD101. COM

[milosstepita1]

this is so true

[Helikaon9]

if there's such thing as good, evil, and souls, women's souls are definitely and contagiously evil

[rocaho001]

@Helikaon9 Yea man, women seriously have a twisted sense of morals. Like they always seem they're right no matter what type of fucked up shit they do. I've had my fair share at 22.

[XlightninX]

yes best comedian ever... only tells the truth.

[chumpusmaximusohnose]

i love the face he pulls after 'yeah that's where this shit goes right there'

[bradhanthorn]

@chumpusmaximusohnose DUDE that face he made just had a stiking resemblance to charles manson :O

[TheSwineofGod]

@chumpusmaximusohnose are you from Europe?

[yubisakireno]

somehwere.... we are able to find the full video of this

[TheFirstAnnuals]

@yubisakireno Netflix bro

[sikminesta]

this made me realise i wasnt the only one thinking the same exact thinggg about women lolll wow

[formusicplaylist1]

yeah thats where that shit goes, right there.

[MaaNonu123]

lol 1:37 late reaction from that one guy in the audience

[8triagrammer]

@MaaNonu123 lol, good call

[xeneize666]

Let this be a lesson to all, of how to fit so much WIN in under 3 min !

[tintin887]

this is supposed to be funny?

[loocow1554]

@tintin887 yes and it is

[tintin887]

@loocow1554

then i must be dead..

[loocow1554]

@tintin887 if you think he is not funny you must be in a sort of fucked up hell

[tintin887]

@loocow1554

or meybe i just know what good comesy is..

[loocow1554]

@tintin887 not likely

[tintin887]

@loocow1554

i am more of a eddie izzard, bill hicks, george carlin fan...louis lacks that energy when he talks

[FisiVisi]

You know that rule that says once comedians have kids they stop being funny because that's all they talk about?

LCK is the 'fuck you' to that rule.

[DarkeningSkies1]

@FisiVisi Hell yeah; in fact, that is when he started getting REALLY funny.

[DarkTowerTube]

This shot wouldn't be funny if there wasn't some truth to it.

[shibukisama]

Pocket sand!

[MrNinjanaut]

thumbs up if you've had your life ruined by a women before

[czoraa21]

YA THATS WHERE THAT SHIT GOES RIGHT THERE! LMFAO XD

[povar1981]

I can't hear it right what he says about the girl when she's trying to drink something:

she's been with the *** palte, so she's in bad shape

What has she been with?

[Gwailoh911]

@povar1981 "she's been with him all day, so she's in bad shape" He's talking about the son.

[povar1981]

@Gwailoh911 Thank you!

[NumbBanana]

@povar1981 she's been with him all day. Her son.

[povar1981]

@NumbBanana Thanks! :)

[nastyburgers91]

and i did.

[rcast1986]

This is flawlessly brilliant. Just genius comedy on every level. Frequently find myself coming back to this clip over and over again.

[DvSFoX]

@rcast1986

As do l.

I think I've seen this about 8 times in total. More than I've ever watched a skit in my entire life. He's just brilliant!

[NuNegus]

This man is my favorite comedian - and this is proof why.

[TheHouseOffice]

Women are non-violent but they will shit inside of your heart.

Pretty much the best thing I have ever heard in my lifetime.

[rocaho001]

@TheHouseOffice Very very accurate. 

[SmugDarkLoser10]

@TheHouseOffice err... fuck i disagree.

girls fucking hit guys all the time. all the fucking time. it's annoying...

[nhhshusky21]

@TheHouseOffice hahah 365 likes on your comment.. I wont ruin it by liking it then.. : )

[upthebikez]

@TheHouseOffice

Totally agreed. Masterful comedy.

[ImJustCommenting]

lol about the toy and the little girl's face

[AnakinJY]

I once told my guy friend that women are more dangerous because they destroy people, men just destroy things. I still think this is true.

[ROXIO7]

i lost it when he said "and she had a creepy smile on her face!"

[ChristopherDone]

@ROXIO7 Me too I couldn't breathe, amazing.

[ROXIO7]

@ChristopherDone i could only imagine how i'd be if i met him

probably pass out from laughter

[futurelegendfilms]

That's why men are dicks and women are cunts.

[krunkaintdead69]

@asianavenger1994 In stand up everyone makes fun of everyone.No limits.

[dannyrenee08]

I love being a girl XD

[ScaniaChan]

@dannyrenee08

Cunt.

[dannyrenee08]

@ScaniaChan Why don't you shut the fuck up? Are you mad because no one has ever looked at you twice besides your family members? Shut the hell up. If, out of anyone on here, you feel the need to say something to it should be the assholes, like you, who take a joke too far. Get the fuck off YouTube, quit being an overall troll, get a life, and stop acting as if you are important to the world.

Thank you, have a nice life, alone.

[ScaniaChan]

@dannyrenee08 Assumptions.

[erickfoamy]

anyone who argues over jokes is stupid......just enjoy it you idiots

[insularfox101]

Yall know he's from mexico right?

[TheAle89515]

Anyone get the feeling his marriage wasn't going to well when he wrote this one?

[ChocolateTundra]

A woman can fake an orgasm.

A man can fake a relationship.

A man can fuck a woman's face up

A woman can fuck a man's life up

[youngice6004]

@ChocolateTundra men can fake orgasms too.

They just don't need to. 

[jonobong]

@youngice6004 I'll make it easy for you, look at a map of Europe, read the names of the many countries, note that the vast majority of those countries did not go invading other continents to build empires, realise how wrong you were, stop being so racist.

[youngice6004]

@jonobong They supported the actions of those in charge though.

Stop defending the atrocities of the caucosoid race.

They drove an entire group of people to extinction. Not to mention countless animal species. The poor treatment of Asians & Aboriginals in Canada & America is also a black eyes that will never heal.

Lynchings, Jim crow, segregation, crusades. They took advantage of everyone foolish enough not to kill them on sight.

[youngice6004]

@jonobong The worst part is they justified a lot of it with god. They created the absolute worst religion in history responsible for moar wars than the rest.

[jonobong]

@youngice6004 Yeah see, you're doing it again. Most whites in history did not commit those atrocities nor support them.

Answer me this, how could a white slave (enslaved by other whites or by arabs) be responsible for or support the actions of the ruling elite?

[ramirezthesilvite]

It's weird that the top rated comments have nothing to do with the video lol

[lixelixelixe]

the face of 2:54 seize everything.

[xifeelnothingx]

hey youtube i dont want ck parfume just because im watching videos of louis ck

[AlexiaCarcera]

lol

[caffeinatethis]

i'm a woman.

i can't. stop. laughing.

[blueroan4]

29 people are women

[ButtsexSandwich]

They can only shit inside of your heart if you cut open your chest and allow them to do it. That's an analogy btw. You didn't have to break the toy, you could have been like,"fuck off" smoked a joint and then jack off.

[TheHowks]

Man, i just love burning peoples houses down.

[lovepenguincum]

so very true.

[IambutaPOET]

Screw all these 'you're too young to understand' things, I'm 15 and I understand and love all of these jokes completely. Louis CK is one of my favorite comedians. The problem isn't age, it's maturity.

[PwnManDude]

@IambutaPOET The problem isn't maturity, it's age.

You may know why it's funny, but you aren't old enough to truly understand. You'll understand when you have kids / a woman shits in your heart.