Supreme Court Revokes Annoying Man's Free Speech Rights (Season 1 Ep: 3 on IFC)

[SuperWarking]

Now if the courts can revoke the rights of internet use and breathing for that matter from the retarded fucks who think the onion is real, we would be good to go.

[FromHablit]

..Still waiting for my opinion to be approved, so I can comment. Shouldn't be long, guys.

[TheDeepPussy]

Dang that Brooke hot!

[farneyblakeley]

I liked the dark-haired woman. Brooke is way too convincing as a Fox-News type

[anonymousman555]

@farneyblakeley Did you go through the 5-day waiting period?

[R5H4D0W]

next time they need someone to run a filibuster, guess who they will call?

[HeadDaniel]

lol

[MrAnimated]

1:01 Empty vending machine. :P

[nightkraawler]

supreme court would have its hands full with yt users

[Elpiraguero]

I know a girl this should happen to

[Alejandroahz]

Not saying that the onion lost quality when got to TV but they definitely moved from an internationally appealing humor to a more North American focused one. Am I the only one who feels that way?

[suckadickmagic]

@Alejandroahz

Yes, because that's fucking retarded for more reasons than I can bring myself to mash out here. You must be joking.

[VictimOfBoredom]

@Alejandroahz I believe you have that reversed...

[cloudberry121]

@Alejandroahz

Mr Decker you are not allowed to type under an assumed name.

[Pattoe]

@Alejandroahz I'm not North American and I still find this funny...

[MrWaddefak]

@Alejandroahz well, yeah, but i dont really mind it.

still funny as hell :P

i'm dutch btw

[canufi]

@Alejandroahz what year and month did they go to TV?

[owenluvspie]

hi

[WinterbornSalem]

I do believe that there should be a competency test mandatory to everyone over the age of 17. If you fail this competency test then there should be a 5 day waiting period before entering an opinion of any kind.

[Ditball989]

Does no one notice there is no chips in the vending machine at 1:00?

[LostHemingway]

@Ditball989 I didn't, but I do now.

[marine5546]

haha what a crazy country this would be if they legalized murder

[VirtuesPenumbra]

I loved Brooke's condensation

Keep you're heads up people, you're all doing really great jobs out there.

[sowetoninja]

the yellow ad line (where the ad pops up) somehow causes my vids to stop 'loading' (or I cannot see it loading)?! anyone know wtf is going on?

[m1c000l]

how come all top comments now days are so crap

[shotsky94]

@m1c000l lol

[69vette]

I love these videos

[uJellie]

I LOVE how Jacksfilms "YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS" is in the suggestions xD

[LAVIN20]

Ujile you are wrong the answer to speech we don't like is more speech

[uJellie]

I wish America could really do this. Lets ban EVERYBODY at Fox News's right to freedom on speech.

[realdad32]

@uJellie you are literally a tool.

[tinymanbigheart]

I'm not more likely to drink Keystone now than from the last 20 times I saw the friggin commercial.

[eagleclawproduction1]

I can enter my opinion now... ( if only I had one)

[jamesingtonthethird]

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING "AN HISTORIC!!!" FFS!! You pronounce the H so no need for an!!

[uJellie]

@jamesingtonthethird Well, many people was the west coast of America DON'T pronounce the "H", but instead the "i". But yes, you ARE indeed correct.

[ickn2005]

I hope that everyone knows this is just a joke.

[smartarse001]

@ickn2005 no its real, I've met him. He was the biggest prick I'd... ever... seen....

[TheGoatherdGod]

Thumbs up if you think the freedom of speech shouldnt be for everyone

Like creationists

[cacity40]

i get all my news from here.



[dfapetrie]

I hope this doesn't catch on, my wife will have me there today!

[WillShakespeare2007]

I think the entire world would support a 5 day waiting period before Americans expressed an opinion of any kind.

[Fayun144]

Facepalms hah

[quidnick]

The top comment was made by Tom Becker.

[eagleclawproduction1]

one more day till I can say my opinion

[cnralph]

I now have to wait 5 days to hump Brooke Alvarez's leg? This blows.

[tcampbellla]

Brooke's hot!

[thefamouscommenter]

lol!

[cinnamonbed]

they filmed a lot with her wearing the same, even jewelry and makeup

[sebcde]

"and then they went with the first option" haha so well played...so believable its amazing

[OutThisWay]

He's crazy :3

Now can this happen to the Westboro Baptist church?

[superguy911]

They should do this to my cousin who constantly spurts random bullshit about crap he doesn't know shit about

[Bravo21]

Your waiting period starts Now bitches.

[Mcheetah]

Considering that this guy is 99% of everyday people, then I guess they'd have to start taking away Consitutional rights from all of us.

Ooops, too late!

[laurierchick11]

I'm just as lost watching this one than when I watch other news reports.

[Da0YiN]

that for once sounds like a really good idea!!!

[overtext]

Hahaha.....yesss!!!!

[OoSauronoO]

or legalize murder so we can beat him to death with our gavels right now :D :D :D

[V3ryan]

This of course is a satire, but I do seem to feel some truth in this. Some opinions (especially shared on these YouTube comments) seem to shun others disrespectfully as if their first amendment right has been revoked.

[Mcheetah]

@V3ryan

In 2011, you either have to agree with an idiot majority ruled by fear and propaganda they hear from the media (which are all owned by corrupt billionaires), or have your first amendment rights revoked. If you don't believe me, I got two words for ya... Casey Anthony.

Sounds all political and way too serious for an Onion video, but sadly true.

[amarhatespiders]

"An historic decision"

Get it together Brooke

[RandomnessUK]

Welcome back ONN

[Imagineim]

I almost fell for this, and then I remembered I subscribed to the onion... #facepalm.

[howl87]

Brooke Alvarez is a fox!

[luisdez81]

If only we could do that to the teabaggers.

[mneiai]

My God, I need to do this to my mother. She turns a 2 minute comment into a 2 hour story that has no point, or plot, or sane thought behind it. And tells it to everyone she meets. Standing in line behind her at a store is probably like being in Purgatory.

[EarthAngel504]

@mneiai one of the most funniest or clever comments i've seen on yt.

[coolchanga]

i know a couple of people that should have their rights removed heheheeh

[zeitgeist1958]

Oh yeah, this is all true! I was there when Mr. Becker was moving his washing machine. Man, what an a-hole! About time his right to free speech was taken away!

[jamesarongray]

2:02 wtf?

[Fl4dd3rm0uz]

@jamesarongray former hostess of the show - now doing on the street reporting? plus women = always bitchy???

[PressXtonotdie]

-Comment pending approval from a registered arbiter.-

[volunteernation16]

@PressXtonotdie hahaha NO

[roboshuffle]

I have a crush on Brooke Alvarez.

[Blackpanfa]

@roboshuffle

Me too. - She's mine though. :)

[MAKootage]

Here's a great game for trolls. Go to an onion video and pretend you believe it's real. Then see how many smarter-than-thou idiots rush to reply.

[eviltube1111]

@MAKootage lol i trol u

[otheus]

I love the artistic drawing of the Supremes doing facepalms.

[amkdeath]

Anyone who thinks this isn't real is retarded. This is a standard bill of attainder, it has been done before. Google before looking like a retard on here idiots

[sw204me]

@DidYouJustMakeThatUp wait, you mean the onion isn't real?!

[sw204me]

@DidYouJustMakeThatUp they pretty much already have.

[sw204me]

also, is Brooke smokin hot to anyone else?

[Trendyrapslut]

@sw204me yes

[Blackpanfa]

@sw204me

If she was in a forest, she'd set it on fire cus she's so hot.

[sw204me]

I don't think the constitution applies to anyone anymore does it?

[tubes69]

They should've chosen the second option...

[allzips96]

i would invole in intercourse with brook

[tara8686]

Brooke and that journalist are flirting or....? XD

[heyocanada]

if they had brains they'd do a parody of an internet news network that was good then sucked but then recently began to get better.

[Devorvan]

lol i love these ones, they always make them seem so real for a while XD

[Mattmc777777]

@yellowcougar18 australias economy never fell because australia doesnt exist silly

[frpetermark]

@Mattmc777777 Terra Australis Incognito?

[robotpanda77]

There is no news, everything has been done before. Some shit happened somewhere. THE END.

[CassesVultus]

They can take away my opinions when they pry them from my cold dead mouth.

[mskappykap]

"And then they went with that first option."

"They did."

hahahahahaha

[NapoleandynamiteFTW]

Real men get their news from the onion.

[jbear0000]

Brook's necklace looks like balls from a pinball machine.

[Somefortunatesoul]

Who else paused the video to read the court transcript?

[DrNinjaLiger]

"an impenetrable barrier against deception" hahaha

[zinkerled]

I THINK WARREN BUFFET SHOULD GIVE HIS OWN DAMN MONEY TO THE GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF SUGGESTING MILLIONAIRES SHOULD PAY HIGHER TAXES. oh and THEY TOOK R JEEEERRRBS!!!!

[n9athan]

@zinkerled im taking this to the supreme court

[GeorgeW6]

@yellowcouger. You are probably right today. We in USA went to war twice in Europe to save democracy and freedom. Especially, WWII we demanded that Japan and Germany be democracies.

You have to know that our history includes huge contradictions and requires democracy to get anything done. We are in a constant struggle to keep things fair and lately it looks like undemocratic forces have weakened the USA. Expect a push-back, if not now, soon.

[sudchn]

Free Speech Rights must be revoked from all religious missionaries

[lovekurtpeace004]

@sudchn amen to that dude

[shatterXY]

thumbs up if u saw "oh wait"

[deedundone]

lol I wish we could revoke annoying peoples free speech lmfao! WBC Here i come! Your haten asses are gettin reovked! haha.....

[PrismaCry]

Better legalize murder ^_^

The news will go lots more interesting

[nght5tlkr]

...call me or anything. Oh wait, actually, that was it; I didn't take my cellphone cause I was just running out for ten minutes. So of course he shows up during those ten minute and I'm gone and he can't call me, so he just leaves the washing machine right there on my driveway. Like, I get home and I'm like, "shit." No, actually I wasn't even like "shit" cause at first I didn't know how heavy it was going to be but then I went to move it and I...

[nght5tlkr]

I know you guys are judges and that's a big deal but anyone basically can do anything if they put their mind to it. I once moved a washing machine all the way down into my basement all by myself. Like, my friend Jason...do you need his full name? It's some long name, Lithuanian or Portuguese or something. Well, Jason was getting rid of this washing machine and I said I'd take it but then when he dropped it off I wasn't home. I'd just gone down to the gas station to get some juice but he didn't

[itsChaldean]

just the title made me die laughing lol

[MrSilvestris]

This is a Masterpiece !

[alphatotheomega7]

This guy IS my dad.

[darthfoti]

The first blonde is fucking smoking.

[lencho234]

he was a nice guy. I think they should give his first amendment back to him.

[spamodell]

Oh how I wish this wasn't satire

[Blackpanfa]

Anyone else think brooke alverez is hot?

[TheStrazy]

Didnt Ckinton want this called the "Ministry of truth"?

[FoltorInternational]

thumbs up if you are awesome...plz

[psilocyberspaceman]

That is pretty much where the US is heading.

[theonlylolking]

How do they keep a straight face?

[DragonNexus]

@theonlylolking

Because they reherse it until it stops being funny.

[zime2006]

You would think that the justices would know that the statute in question constitutes a bill of attainder.

[zime2006]

You would think that thie

[TheBackwardzShot]

haha dis es soooooooooo funyy!! I eh lughed sewwwwww herd unce i saw dis shiz!!!

[apalsenberg]

I am not sure if 5 day is enough... I mean, can they eat and think at the same time!?

[TeamIzlude]

Americans need 5 days to enter an opinion? 'bout damn time. Should be longer, but this is a start

[McArrowni]

This is unconstitutial. You cannot put an independant arbiter through such torture!

[AloneiBreak22]

korn reference at 0:57...awesome

[crayzsnail]

I'd like to tell you what I think of this video but I have to wait 5 days...

[dazzaboy88]

@Troabupiag ahaha oh yeah  D'oh!

[Glickstick]

Satire top comments inside of a satire video.

WE MUST GO DEEPER

SATCEPTION

[ajnode]

@Glickstick

Pun joke about satire top comments within a top video of satire... Yeah, this shit hurts my head.

[Videofool12]

@Glickstick that's not the first inception-related comment i've read today. mebbe i needa watch he film o.O

[FabisPlaysGames]

@Glickstick You're stupid. Please die.

[aerorobnz]

I found it funny. It's proper satire - the point of satire is that it is as close to the truth without being the actual truth. Especially given that I can think of people in my own life that it would be nice to legally STFU.

[Muzikman127]

@bookchick95 yep :)

[SharkDude1]

Yawn.... Wake me if The Onion ever gets funny again...

[fatalist6o9]

Not funny! More like a prediction for the future...

[Aanthanur]

@fatalist6o9 oh stfu, or you'll be next. 

[fatalist6o9]

@Aanthanur LOL!

[smillingkyle15]

Is this real????

[7Jubal7]

@smillingkyle15 The Onion is 100% real.

[Comment0136]

@smillingkyle15

VERY REAL.

[NinjaDeathstarVideos]

a tomahawk of honesty in the skull of lies

[MiJaEllis]

@NinjaDeathstarVideos a tomahawk of (something good) in the skull of (something bad)

[zan25051]

I feel like the old onion news was awesome, but ever since they started trying, i can't stand it.

[IsaacJays]

Stupid how on every video it says "you can skip this ad in 0:06 and it just stays there throughout the hole ad. Fuck you Google! If you want us to watch the hole ad then don't give us a option to skip it.

[redmunkee]

@IsaacJays Maybe google is just adapting to the high demand for holes? If I was a hole salesman, I'd appreciate the added business google provides me with.

[Pyroinferno99]

Mr. Becker delivered a rambling three hour testimony in which he digressed into a pointless 45 minute story about moving a washing machine by himself.

[HwoarangtheBoomerang]

1:05

There's nothing in there!!

[wakkyjan]

They should do the same to my teachers...

[bioshock123458]

Fascism is wrong

[AlphaRed5]

I want to post a comment but I still have three more days.

[TheGeneralPwnage]

@AlphaRed5 i don't get it :(((

[dreamsatsea]

@TheGeneralPwnage Watch the vid from 2:08 till the end

[TheGeneralPwnage]

@dreamsatsea oh hahahahhahahahahhahaha nice one :)

[WeEatBrainz]

@AlphaRed5 FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITFU­CK

[adam145]

What do you mean by saying it's close to reality ?

It is real !

*trollface*

[john789john]

The five day waiting period says it all.



[jasonpalth]

This is not satire. Furthermore, this is not political satire. Onion's quality is going down the tubes.

[LegendOfTheEpic]

@jasonpalth What tubes? Have you seen any tubes? Where are these tubes? And where do they go? And how come there's more than one tube? It would seem to me, one country, one tube. But is every state all of a sudden have to have its own tube now? One tube is all you need. But a tube that big? Somebody would have seen it by now. "Hey Joey! Get a load of these fuckin'' tubes!"