....I should have added, though, that in the case of pre-ops, any reason is valid for de-transition...financial or otherwise. It is good they are taking the time and thought to see what is good for them before drastic (and expensive) surgery is carried out. It is just people who have had this expensive surgery suddenly deciding it was all a big mistake that peeves me off. What can you do though? Increase the time period before surgery? Is that not unfair to others? It's a can of worms alright.
A few years ago in the news a post-op mtf, paid for by the taxpayer, suddenly wanted to de-transition by surgery (I'm amazed this was possible, frankly). It hurt support in this country and gave armour to the people who say sex changes shouldn't be financially assisted by the state, as he/she was choosing on a whim. I've always supported taxes paying for this operation, but this really tested my support. I still support, but wish people would make their minds up *properly* before we pay for it.
I like the way you talked about this. I am a transgendered person who in a way has detransitioned.... I am one of those people who really can just present in a more androgynous way and be really happy with that. I transitioned and was made what I have been told was a passable and somewhat pretty woman. I thought that would make me feel less dysphoria. I ended up feeling just as dysphoric about being very feminized. I feel best living somewhere in the middle. So few understand this.
Thanks for talking about this - as a mid-transition MTF transsexual, there are days that I have considered going back when the in-laws/parents/ others hold those carrots you've mentioned. Its good to be reminded of where I've come from! Thanks!
My input is that you are brave and beautiful, and you have much to teach others about simple loving kindness, be they transexual transgendered genderqueer, gay, lesbian or none of the above. I wish more people had your heart.
You can't really call this detransitioning, because no transition took place, but for some reason, a number of years ago, I used to think I was trans. I think I mistook having an identity disorder with not having an identity. So, I was basically lost in this thinking that I was trans for about a year, until I figured out that I wasn't. I don't know that this kind of thing happens to people who've begun to transition, but it definitely seems probable.
i detransitioned a few years back and now the feelings are surfacing again, transitioning back to the real me is gunna be difficult...im glad u made this video!
I loved the video and have been watching them through out my transition, But right now I am detransitioning, does this mean I made a mistake, no. But came to a better understanding of myself, and have found out alot about myself and those around me.
If I had listened to my therapist when I was ten I probably would have transitioned but ended up detransitioning at some point because she was wrong. She seemed not to be able to tell the difference between gender dysphoria and just dysphoria. or maybe she couldn't understand that I was freaked out to be the only girl in my class with visible breasts but that doesn't really make me want to be a boy. Is a misguided therapist never a reason people detransition?
Detransitioning because it's not really you after all is fine with me. This is why we do real-life experience. Then we know.
Detransitioning because of family, social or economic pressures bothers me. I can think of nothing worse.
I transitioned 25 years ago and have been stealth ever since. With some recent changes in my life I'm re-evaluating some things. The biggie is concluding that stealth sucks after a while, and I'd like to be a little bit out. I'm just not sure how to do it...
im Transgender- but im Detransitioning only because after living life as a psychological female- not a biological one- for 6 months i realized that the only reason why i transitioned was because i wasnt comfortable with my femminite male expression and hand gestures, i didnt want to be a "Gay" male. it just didnt suite me. i felt incomplete. I transitioned to fill in that void. but honestly, still felt empty. i guess the true emptyness was not knowing who i really am. Learned alot & im ok now.
I can see the conflicts you have. An ancient truth is that a double minded man (or woman!) is unstable in all his/ her ways. It sort of gets into everything and I can see it draining you. People who transition seem to go through a lot of different phases (your "girly" most attractive phase may have made you feel like you lost yourself in some way. ). All I can say to you is the damaging of all of this is the constant introspection. find something else to focus your mind . We are here to help
Detransition discussions usually lead to the unfortunate misconception that the person's decision to transition was a thoughtless, ill-conceived one. Someone who wrote about Cristine Daniels/Mike Penner said, "I hope that those who do decide to play expert for a day and cast judgment can accept that their judgments are completely irrelevant." Is the person alive? If alive, is the person happy? These matter more. Everyone's gender exploration need not have the same end point.
Each person's life is their own. If they need to detransition, for whatever reason, it is their decision. We have no right to judge them as more or less trans based on their decisions. There are often circumstances beyond our scope or ability to understand. We find it hard to discuss this because we are still wearing our shoes while pretending to walk in theirs. So let us give them the benefit of the doubt and respect their decisions.
I tried to turn back the clock several times. each time I went suicidal. The last time I ended up handcuffed and escorted into a crisis emerg at my local hospital. I live full time stealth and have done so for 8 years now. the dysphoriaq still hits me, and daily there is a struggle. I am very emotional and weepy and feel alienated to the point where I nbow basically shun most of my family and past friends. i love for my work and try to lead a moral loife but i
find myself praying for death. I have huge health issues including a double organ transplant. which forces me to arrest the suicidal thoughts - how can I suicide when i owe my life to another's sacrifice and death. I am alone in this. always alone. I never wanted to live in pain - but this is my destiny.
I'm not detransitioning but I'm trying very hard to find a surgeon who will reverse my srs (mtf). We need to get over this idea of you're only a woman (or man) if you do ___ or if you feel ___. I blame myself for the mess I'm in, but we really need to look out for each other - not turn this into just a different "in crowd" who shuns the out crowd.
Detransitioning is one of the toughest things I can imagine. After finding the courage to reveal your true self to the world, to re-embrace the lie for the comfort of others is a terrible tragedy. You are buckling to those who insist on the lie even when they know the truth. I understand that people need to survive, and I don't hold detransition against the victim, but I can't express the contempt I feel for those who force them back to the lie... and possibly suicide as the only other option.
I honestly wanted to comment on this topic. I'm currently going through a detransition right now due to, like you said, a poor economy. Hard to get hours at work. Anyway, I think all my friends have started treating me so much different. Basically doing the "Oh just be yourself" and I am like "Uh ok you pay for it?"
I get sick and tired of people deciding whats right or wrong for me. Ok, so it's ok to be transgendered but only if I look like a girl? Whatever. Seriously. Enough about "passing"
@john95250 you are so stupid omg! one can detransition... being steril has nothing to do with detransitioning there are straight men that are steril stupid ass lmfao!
I wish you'd also say a bit more about people who detransition because they feel that their gender isn't trans after all. People who truly feel they made a mistake.
They may be controversial, they may be used against us, but they exist and it would be a sad thing if those people were ignored or rejected rather than just embraced as people who are on their own road towards finding their place in life.
I don't think it invalidates their transness at all. Transition is HARD even after it's all said and done. Not enough people say that. We hear success stories, but rarely hear about the stress and internal questioning. For some people, I believe that their GID is more tolerable than the outcome of their transition.
Well hear is what I was thinking, a lot of times there is a psychological evaluation before doing the first transition into a woman, and I guess I always just thought the only ones that detranstion are those that have split personalities. Of coarse for me, i don't plan to de transition once I do.^^
neutrois people might detransition (in a legal sense) for other reasons too. You might have 2 neutrois ppl, one of whom is legally male and one female despite being and living as neutrois. If they were a couple, they might (quite rightly) want to have their relationship recognised as a same sex civil partnership. Thus one (who had perviously IDd or attempted to ID with the male/female binary) might detransition in a legal sense -so their same sex partnership could be recognised.
As well as people detransitioning for the reasons you state, it's also inevitable some neutrois people will also detransition -to perhaps displace the notion that they were ever male or female. Some neutrois people may detransition as a means to persuade doctors to get rid of the secondary sexual characteristics they acquired -which can become almost intolerable as their original ones -becuase the only solution for a neutrois person is to be physically sexless.
I find detraisitioning interesting becuase I've in a sense socially detransitioned out of livng as a female into a gender neutral role. I'm still registered as female becuase I have no option to be registered as what I really am - a neutrois person. I dress androgynously, take low dosage oestrogen and I bind. I just feel moare comfortable living this way and I date another neutrois person.
Some people who are non-gender-binary identified trans people detransition (or partially detransition) to a more androgynous or neutrois role, becuase despite having genuine gender dysphoria identify as somewhere inbetween male and female, or as neither. For them transitioning to male or female might have taken them too far. However their existence does not invalidate the reality of trans women or trans men's identities.
reasons why some people detransition... -some people become disillusioned that they haven't become as happy and fulfilled as they expected to become in their new role. -some do it for financial / family / medical reasons -and some becuase the doctors misdiagnosed them. (Yes they aren't infallible and this occasionally happens...)
perhaps there is a fear in the transgender community that transphobes will hold up detransitioned people as 'evidence' to (wrongly) suggest that transsexual people are confused or unstable or likely to likewise detransition at any moment. Given the transphobia of people lke Julie Bindel and David Batty in the Guardian newspaper perhaps these fears are justified.
Detransition... It kinda irks me that talking about detransition is controversial. I don't think that the fact some people detransition in any way invalidates the identities of transgendered or transsexual people who continue to live in their 'acquired' gender role -which isn't really an acquired role, but who they were all along.
My god, you are brilliant! Thank you so much for "getting controversial!" I really haven't started, well, not very far. I'm older and have more bridges to burn, so I'm going very slowly. Very slowly.... We all do what we need to do - contrite, maybe. My slow transition is almost like a continuous detransition, but you described it! - hovering in a sort of Androgynous state waiting to dive into the fire. Again, thank you! And everybody - do what you have to do.
took a break of 7 years, just because i couldn´t imagine beein loved for who i am, and thinking that, misinterpreted the most noble act ever done for my person. Now im laughing bout myselfe! Gladly, i don´t had to "detransition" cause there was not yet lot "change" to see. My nightmare: If i wake up tommorow and feel like nearly my whole life i felt... wrong, i´ll do it again. And wait what comes. It´s about my individual developement, not my sex.
i don't really think a female to male would really be able to detransition... it's not something i've ever thought about. i often worry that i'm about to do the wrong thing whenever i think about the whole transitioning thing... scary, scary!
If we live in a true gender dichotomy then detransition is a term. If we live in a gender diverse world, the term then would be adjusting.
I detransition/adjust on a daily basis, depending on what I am doing - I am an entertainer and I am fucking proud of my singing voice, so I persent as male on stage, and when dealing with agents (on a daily basis) and also arseholes (on a daily basis).
I will not allow stereotypes to detirmine how I should act, sound or respond, either way.
I'm sure it exist, although I think it's important to determine the origin of the feeling to detransition, one of them I think it because of others who cause new dysphoria. Tricky question actually.
i think you should talk about anything you want...that is what makes you a real live person with real issues rather than allot of 'fake' people , trying to act like the only thing they have to talk about is moving forward..sometimes we go back a few steps..thats normal about life..and i wish everyone could be able to talk about the fucking truth...
I really appreciate what you said about some having less disphoria than others. I have chosen to wait for my children to get older and have had some tell me that I am just not transgendered if I can live with it.
I think one reason this topic is not brought up is out of fear.
Trans people get a lot of stick for apparently being 'mental' and i think people fear that if people hear too much about this people will be able to use that as evidence that people are just confused........
I have a question as I'm trying to learn more about TG people out of my ignorance. Forgive me if I'm offensive in any way.
How much of a driving force is it to transition for TG persons, typically? Like, are there people who are satisfied knowing they are transgendered and don't feel a need for surgeries or hormones. Is it different from person to person, or do most TG persons feel a need to actively change their bodies?
Anyways, God bless. Congratulation on your transition.
Transgender is an umbrella term, so in te case of a crossdresser, gender dysphoria is not present at all. However when dealing with transsexuals, the push is so severe that we are driven to transition.
@triggergnu Yes being transgendered (beyond gender) is different for everyone. It can come out on a different age, it can vary in strength of feeling, basically there is not a really good "standard" just like that cisgendered males/females are sometimes more male or more female. I see gender a a wheel of color, you can be anywhere. Thing is most people are used to the idea of binary gender.
Actually physical sex is far more complicated than the commonly assigned "male/female" dynamic. Of course knowing nothing about genetic variation or intersexed conditions, you wouldn't know that.
Personality would play a great part. How much you can be influenced by others for example. If you are easily influenced by others, then whom you mix with becomes important. The outcome could become quite unpredictable.
There is no doubt that transition is hard, like you said de-transition means you can have all those things back that you lost along the way i.e. family and friends. And yes it is terribly exhausting, but to be honest I wouldn't go back I'm much more comfortable just being honest about who I am and if people aren't willing to accept that about me then I don't need them in my life plain and simple. Luv your vids Charlotte ^_^
I can understand it when someone determines that their need to transition is less than the problems they are given on account of their transition.
What I do *not* have patience with is when some (like the YouTube user known as "returnedhome" who is now actively bashing the trans community.
De-transition if you must --- but if upon de-transitioning you proceed to bash our community --- then you become just another transphobe to me -- except maybe an especially damaging one.
Hey I hope you make an update video soon..So your job? hows it going?..i mean the ups and down? i wouldnt mind hearing about it..ive never heard anyone talk about what its like...wish you the best of luck..
I think detransitioning is scary for a lot of trans people because with so many people ready to take any opportunity to prove that we are merely confused or imprisoned by our own childish fantasies, any incident of a detransition calls into question the validity of our own gender identity. Like what you said in the beginning of your video. It is probably something that haunts many of us as well. The prospect of having to do so and seeming a failure (not that it makes you one) is a scary one.
I transitioned 5 years ago and had a "clear" idea about what it meant to be female. So far from where I am now. I am not the "femme" female that started out this track. Bottom line I have Detransitioned from my ideals as I have grown. I consider myself as much a women as anyone. My ideals have changed. Transition is not a goal, it is a path. The path deviates, is redesigned and will look different than one expected when you look back. Transition is one aspect of handling GID.
DSM IV is a mental health diagnosis book.. Don't think of it as saying "you're sick". It's labeled a disorder because the person isn't happy. The same as a person with anxiety or depression isn't happy with their problems. The reason why it is categorized as a disorder is for the psychologist to have a bit of order and figure out which way is best to help the person. Being transgender is a BIG step, and psychologists must be sure that the person can handle it. We're just trying to help.
Oh, also. Homosexuality isn't a disorder. If the person is happy being a homosexual then there is no problem there. But, if the person is unhappy (because of teasing or problems within the family, etc), then maybe there is a diagnosis to be made - but not of homosexuality, it could be depression. Maybe the person has no disorder at all, but does feel sad about the circumstances in which he/she is. In that case, the therapist would still help by counseling and giving as much advice as he/she can.
Detransition sounds like another word for "confused westerner"... and considering that we all have access to the same resources, and logics in the western world, I find it difficult to reconcile with the concept. Because too many trans people neck themselves in third world places, who aren't confused, but just lack the resources, and logic.
At the same time, to me, western society is much of the cause of why "detransition" is even conceivable.
I don't think that people should be shunned if they chose to either stop their transition at a certain point. As you mentioned, it's about personal happiness. Or in the case of some, about compromise. Whatever choices we make in life are for a reason, and it's best to know what that reason is to better help those who may need support.
id rather live one day anatomically female tham a lifetime as a male
what really depresses me is transphobia against young transitioners and i saw some today charlotte i wonder if you could do a vlog on people abusing young transitioners a comment i saw today was really shocking
On Youtube? Comments are made by trolls. It certainly isn't worth making a video about, and anyone who takes that person seriously needs to develop a thicker skin.
@karmatic1110 Yeah but come on , their are many abusers in our own community, who thrive on bullying other trans people , you get it in the gay community too. Just look at the bullshit that happened between the U.K trans peeps and U.S , over the London TDOR. It got deeply nasty and abusive.
*saddles up the pony for war... point me in the direction, and ill beat up the troll with my keen wording...(,^^)!!.. No really, Charlotte is right, but I understand how it can be distressing to see someone young being made victim. Just show pitty to the tiny troll, and thumbs them down... surely, that is the most recognition you would want to show to the crazies in the world.
To decide to progress through transition is already so immense, I would imagine that until the issue of detransition came up, no one in it would think about or even dwell on it. It is so, fundamental to a person, the idea of 'what if I have to go back?' might be too much for some to even entertain, regardless of it's importance.
It should be discussed, because regardless of anyone's intent, sometimes we have to do things we would never want to do.
I'll tell you exactly why I don't talk about detransitioning: The idea of detransitioning is quite possibly the scariest thing I can think of! Just thinking of it makes me angry and depressed. Part of me, honestly, wishes I could go back because I have lost alot but I feel like I've gained alot more.
Hi Babe....Thanks for addressing this subject. I have had this used against me....my ex girlfriend sent me this article about this person in the Philipines who supposedly de-transitioned......so what! Thats just one person...they could be nuts for all I know.
Who would seriously go through all this complicated transition just to go back and tell themself that it was just a phase?
Most of every person with a clear mind would never endure twice this pain and would just go back if they were forced to, because of a lack of money or there health has degraded.
I ask myself sometime if I'm SURE of what I'm doing and should not think it again and... jeez... I can't be this sure in all my life since I've thought about for more than 10 years... Good Topic!
Family, financial considerations are typical in detransition. However, medical is also sometimes a problem. An old friend had to detransition from liver problems over a history of alcoholism.
In my case, the anti-androgen spironolactone gummed up my GI tract. I was forced to do ONLY the more powerful injectable estrogen until I got the orchiectomy done. In the mean time, I lost most of the physical changes to a T surge and had to start over.
Not to be argumentative (well, just a little bit) I think you did sidestep the major issue here. Maybe not the issue you intended but there is a larger issue that goes to the heart of transitioning. No, there is no concensus but transsexuality in all it's nuances is still discussed.
Since I haven't figured out how to get around the restriction on posting links I suggest you Google: A WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS
This video was to address WHY the transgendered community doesn't talk about this topic, NOT to create an entire video outlining ever facet of detransitioning.
It is not my responsibility to present a video to you in the way that you want it. This is a vlog, and if you don't like how I present something, then don't watch.
B. I'll watch whatever and whoever I want, thank you. I watch you because I like your videos. However,
C. I'll turn this around on you. If my opinions are that onerous, then block me. I'm just discussing an issue. If you think I'm being disrespectful or whatever, then do what you must.
D. I am not attacking you. I am suggesting there is a larger issue here. Listen to me or don't.
I'm not baiting an argument for the sake of being argumentative. I think this is very important because outside of religious bigotry or simple transphobia, the biggest threat to access to transitioning will come from the practical argument that transitioning is, in itself, a mistake and that in the least more rigorous controls should be put in place.
This issue since it can be represented as a practical, secular, medical argument represents a major vulnerability to the TS community.
This type of comment is EXACTLY why I have been vlogging less. People act like I OWE them something, when I am taking the time to address things in a way I see fit.
Yea, you are taking this way too personally as if discussing an issue and disagreeing with you on the issue itself is wrong. But I'll censor myself. I won't comment on any of your videos any more.
Your disagreeing with something that wasn't covered in the video in the first place because it wasn't the aim of the video. That would be like me saying "I am an Atheist" and you saying "Wait, you didn't explain the Christian God." They are related but they do not pertain to the video. In that context, I don't know how I could be wrong about something.
Back when the TrannystarGalactica channel started up I proposed the topic of surgery regret which they accepted but everyone misinterpreted. Then I saw the title of your video here but I think you also ducked the issue somewhat.
I believe every thesis (for example: What transsexuality is) needs to be stress tested at the extremes. In this context, that means looking into the phenomenon of people who reverse their transition.
There is at least one channel on YT concerned with addressing this question. However, they approach it from the standpoint of genital mutilation. I'm sure there are many channels which approach the issue from a religious viewpoint.
It seems to me this issue should be investigated from a point of view relevant to TS's, as opposed to POV's relevant to people think transsexuality is abnormal.
I'd hoped you'd talk about people who returned full time to their biological gender.
I didn't address it as such, because frankly we have very little consensus as to what transsexuality is. So many variations exist that I doubt I could do the topic justice while keeping it completely factual and out of the realm of opinion.
I personally only know of 1 person who detransitioned and stayed that way. That person did so because no matter what they did, they weren't perceived as the gender they identified with. This person was FTM.
I don't think anyone should be criticised for their choice of gender or sexuality, if it can be called a choice.
It's interesting to see that someone who was a man might be criticised for seekign to becoem a woman, then criticised again for wishing to return to manhood (as far as possible). It's pretty ironic really! :-)
I understand it's more complex and that different individuals have different motivations for detransition but isn't one of the biggest problems that we only have two genders to choose from while none of us will ever perfectly fit either?
To Shotgun 7- I was thinking the same thing. I see small cracks in the icefloe all around. The reactions of my friends, particularly among the younger generation, to me coming out has shown me that there is a growing acceptance. The freak show just ain't bringing in the shocked crowds anymore, and isn't that great. It's made me feel an obligation to be as open as possible- cause I' a good, normal, "executive trans"(a la Eddie Izzard) and I can help widen those cracks.
Excellent topic. I totally understand the pressures you encounter in transitioning, since I'm just starting. It's like walking through a pool of jello- the only thing that keeps me going is the NEED for inner/outer harmony. I think everyone had moments where you want to fuck it and just give up. I think the number of people who make it through the deep end is a HUGE testament to the validity of our gender identity. And shunning somone who turns back is stupid, cruel, and wrong.
As I watched your video, I began to wonder if what you were describing was another version of "purging." Transgender folk sometimes rid themselves of the tg trappings for a variety of reasons as you have mentioned. From what I have come across, this appears to be something that the pre-op mtf does more so than the pre-op ftm. Sometimes for survival, as you noted, but also as kind of a final litmus test to see whether or not they can try to fit in with the birth gender.
How about this, as a new topic. Have you noticed that all of the major tv shows have done stories involving trans-people. Shows like House, Bones, Mental, have all had stories that I think were great. Perhaps we are no-longer a taboo subject. It's a baby step toward society respecting us as people, not sub-human freaks.
Well. If someone transitions OR detransitions it's their choice and who knows all the reasons why they're doing it. I figure anybody that looks down on them for detransitioning is just as bad as someone who looks down on someone for transitioning. It's the same attitude, but from a different side.
It's hard to say why it's not talked about much. Maybe the people that do it feel ashamed. Like they've failed. I don't know.
This is indeed a unique topic you bring up. Living in itself is beyond complicated and that's not even considering the possibilty of being transgendered.
Detransitioning is a real possibility for one that is transgendered and of the many possibilities one can come accross during a transition.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
There is no complication for Transsexuals, for transgendered there are doubts! Detransitioning is someone that thought they were transsexual and turned out to be a transvestite or crossdresser!
That is the biggest bunch of bias opinion BS I have heard to date. If you are not capable of making intelligent statements, then please leave the conversation to those who are.
Nice video, to have been raised one gender and to change sex permanently, you have to eliminate all the theories and possibilities given, experience all different aspects of life that encompass gender and sexuality and live in their roles to truly find your own, I believe only then are you fully aware of your own sense of being what is right for you, you alone and only then are you in a position to seek out medical introversion to correct your body.
wow what a great topic hun. You really did a great job. It's so hard to transition and then sometimes things go all wrong and you feel you maybe made a mistake so you start to detransition but if you are truely transgendered you will always come back and try to be the person that you know you are inside!! Great job
I don't know if I agree with that. Not everyone who is transgendered and detransitions retransitions. Circumstances are different for everyone. If anything that sounds more like a catchphrase used by the majoity of the TG community more than scientific fact.
well all I can do is speak from what I have seen and heard from people I know . It;s like the crossdresser that purges and always comes back . Of course nothing is ever 100% in this world but I have to say the majority is will retransition, not quite sure where you would get scientific facts from on this subject .
Well, Not many people talk about it, because, atleast, as far as I know, not very many people do it. I know, a few do, but the majority of people that transition, stay that way.
Great topic, I've had this problem the last ten years, no support from friends, or family. Right now it's so hard to find one self these days. I was borned the wrong sex and everything. I was on hormones 12 yrs ago, but since then I've lost my job, and everything else. Now I'm living with my older sister, and thats where the no support from my family. She knows that I'm a transgender person and everything, but shr don't want me to "wear womens things" around her, to me thats dishearting as well.
Very interesting stuff! I tend to agree with you about accepting people who detransition, instead of seeing them as threats (same as with gay and lesbian folks who, for whatever reason, start to experience opposite-sex attraction).
I often think that our society reinforces the gender binary- you are male or female, but just pick a side. And for genderqueer folks who struggle with that, transition can seem like the perfect answer, when in reality, it's much more complex and very personal.
I had severe depression for six years and when I was faced with suicide I had no choice but to transition. Since then I do not have any depression and am finely living a normal happy life as myself and not trying to live as others want me to live. Forty eight years of hell was a waist of my life and nothing can make me go back there. Have a great day my friend!!!
Think id like to see a follow-up vid to this one. Perhaps the timing just wasn't right you know. As you mentioned work was needed. Perhaps cutting hair and all that dressing in a so called normal way in public, might work for a little while. But think if a person is trans, and do to circumstances like finding employment, in their off time, they can still go all girly if they wanted too. There are some nice wigs, and whatever, so why not ask about letting the girl or boy out after work.
I don't know many transgendered males or females, but I do know that we need to stop creating minorities within the minority we already are. I congratulate your bravery in bringing up a topic that isn't getting much air time. I think we need to support and try to understand all who exist within the queer community. It's a personal choice made for personal reasons whether one is transitioning, detransitioning, or retransitioning. Great video.
i just recently detransitioned due to not being able to get a job and financial reasons. alot of my friends didnt care but a few acted like ok what are u going to be next?, a cat? i cut my hair the other day and presented as a male and got the same job i applied for two months ago....
I know some friends who have detransition, and the stories I've herd from them basically related to financial issues or they just gave up and not liking their body.
I also feel it as a slap in the face being transgendered myself and I saw a special on T.V. that focused only on the m-to-f transsexuals who detransisitioned and my family still uses that to this day to tell me I am wrong and that I am sick. Also, I have heard that one, "you can come home if you stopping being a girl" although they don't use the word girl and itt is so disheartening.
Hi Charlotte How are you ? I Always Love watching your videos I totally Agree What Ever your, our, mine (example) desicions you make in Life no one should treat you indifferent,It's your life Live it To the fullest,is About being happy with your,our,My,Their Happiness Live a happy Life and Screw the world Since you will never be totally happy if you live life for others oxox Melinda
Of course some detransition for sad reasons - 'giving up' as people are saying, but some people realize it wasn't the right thing for them - i think we are are afraid to acknowledge that other people have made mistakes, for fear that people will think it of us. I think acknowledging that convictions can change or be wrong helps us to question ourselves and know ourselves better. Just because one person finds their true path, it doesn't mean others might not wander up the same path mistakenly.
The key phrase is "they forgot how bad it was". Sometimes we must be reminded of that. It's a very difficult decision. You bare your soul to the world and they don't accept you, so you buckle to pressure and say (to keep your job or kids or whatever) "OK, fine. I'll be what you want." But people have seen the truth and no one believes the lie anymore anyway. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I urge compassion & patience for those who detransition. They need it as much as anyone.
Hi Charlotte - really great insightful video. I think that there may be times when a person is unsure that transitioning is right for them or their circumstances make it very difficult to continue. I agree with you that they should be supported in whatever direction they decide to follow.
Oh, and I'd call a move to androgyny a *new* transition, rather than detransition (which implies a move *away* from something, rather than what I think it is - a move *towards* something new...
I can see that transitioning and then going back could look even more like a negative judgment of the TG/TS community than never having addressed the issues in the first place.
This deserves a good discussion - well, I can dream!
I think that detrans could be looked at alongside non-trans. I can understand the transgender community sticking closely together and being unwilling to accept "outsiders" given how much they/we are judged by outsiders. However, as a non-transitioner, I'm bound to feel on the outside (even if I can be an advocate on the "outside" more easily).
A friend of mine had to stop for medical reasons (bad reaction to some drug) and had a great attitude about it because she knows in three years there will be a whole new batch of drugs out and from a past suicide attempt that she is stronger than she even knew. if not for the Raiders fan thing she would be my hero.
Its hard to go into why a person stops their transition or even detransitions but maybe in the end it was just not what they thought it would be. You spend most of your life living as the gender you thought you were and then you transition and now you are living as the other gender. For myself its hard to see how I am treated now. When I was a male it was easy and I was treated like I was a first class person. But now I am treated like I am helpless and can't fend for myself. Its a big shock.
When I had a male body life was easy, But know I have a female body I see how I am treated different. I love the fact i am seeing as a female now but I see how girls are treated and its like a girl is weak and needs help to fend for themself. Its a shock and I hate how men treat women with this male like dominance. But in the end I would rather be treated like some helpless second class person then live with with the pain of gender dysphoria and hating my body and being a male.
even though i worded my stuff weird i agree with what you are saying. all i was saying it was easier to live as male in the aspect of social norms, than it is for a woman. I dont think i will be destransitioning now or anytime later, i like who i am now and thats female.
It has made eveything a little bit more hard for me. Some see it as "well when ya give up once you are just going to do it again" and I don't see it as having given up. I see it just as you said, I forgot how hard trying to be what they wanted me to be really was. OMG thank you for bringing this up.
I think you are right. It is quite simple to me. Regardless of where someone is in their journey on this planet, they deserve respect, kindness, acceptance and love. (Of course unless they are infringing on someone else's rights....different topic)
It could be looked down upon because once you come out to people, you kind of can't undo it. It makes people seem less credible. It also makes the whole transgendered thing seem like it isn't a real condition to some people maybe. It is a hard thing to do and not everyone is up to the task because transitioning could mean starting a whole new life for some. The reason as to why the trans community probably is against is because they feel since this person went back they denounce the struggle
This is a great topic to address. It's relatively rare, it happens, and I don't think it's inherently a bad thing, you know? Why shouldn't people have autonomy over their bodies? If someone feels one gender for a time then decides they're both, neither, or the other, why should that be such a problem? I think a lot of detransitioners are quiet so that their own informed choices don't get used against (other?) trans people. That's kinda a shame, too.
If you woke up tomorrow & found yourself alone in the world, you'd still have gender dysphoria, but transitioning wouldn't be much of a priority anymore. It's because we exist in society with other people that gender has such huge ramifications on our lives. The impetus to transition comes from within, but ultimately it's the feedback from others that drives us forward. My guess is that people who de-transition either get too much negative feedback, or their impetus wasn't genuine to begin with.
Maybe as a society we (human beings) should get rid of gender binary system. That could help transgender people greatly. For example I hate how clothes are divided in stores: for women, for men, for boys and for girls. That is annoying! I have a small male body, so it is hard for me to find clothes from men's section. If I could decide, there would be only unisex things! Don't get me wrong: there could still be feminine and masculine things, but no strict binary system.
Hmmm. Well, once I decided I was going to transition, I immediately started planning for it, and there really has never been any doubt that it was the right decision, and I will not bend to anyone else's will regarding it. If my family or friends don't like it, they can go to hell. I've got plenty of people who support me. I don't associate with closed minded bigots, no matter who they are.
My take on this is everyday i want to detransition.. simply because its the easy way out. Being a woman in todays world is very hard, theres a big demand for you to be skinny, to look pretty, etc.. being a guy was easy for me, because being a man is easy, regardless of what FtMs think. The life of a man is also more rewarding in certain aspects, im an engineering major, and still men dominate the field, and women are looked down upon. However, ive been lucky to pass with flying colors its hard.
i understand im not a "man" so to speak but what im talking about is the lifestyle, wake up in the morning shower, put on clean shirt, and jeans thats it you are done. Thats how it was for me before i transitioned.
well said ..karmatic...i must be lucky..i have still got all the same friends.
victoria42417 5 months ago
....I should have added, though, that in the case of pre-ops, any reason is valid for de-transition...financial or otherwise. It is good they are taking the time and thought to see what is good for them before drastic (and expensive) surgery is carried out. It is just people who have had this expensive surgery suddenly deciding it was all a big mistake that peeves me off. What can you do though? Increase the time period before surgery? Is that not unfair to others? It's a can of worms alright.
GhibliFan1 10 months ago
A few years ago in the news a post-op mtf, paid for by the taxpayer, suddenly wanted to de-transition by surgery (I'm amazed this was possible, frankly). It hurt support in this country and gave armour to the people who say sex changes shouldn't be financially assisted by the state, as he/she was choosing on a whim. I've always supported taxes paying for this operation, but this really tested my support. I still support, but wish people would make their minds up *properly* before we pay for it.
GhibliFan1 10 months ago
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I like the way you talked about this. I am a transgendered person who in a way has detransitioned.... I am one of those people who really can just present in a more androgynous way and be really happy with that. I transitioned and was made what I have been told was a passable and somewhat pretty woman. I thought that would make me feel less dysphoria. I ended up feeling just as dysphoric about being very feminized. I feel best living somewhere in the middle. So few understand this.
Quantumgeometer 11 months ago
Thanks for talking about this - as a mid-transition MTF transsexual, there are days that I have considered going back when the in-laws/parents/ others hold those carrots you've mentioned. Its good to be reminded of where I've come from! Thanks!
springfieldmp 1 year ago
What percentage of people detransition? You say "so many". How many?
Fronika 1 year ago
My input is that you are brave and beautiful, and you have much to teach others about simple loving kindness, be they transexual transgendered genderqueer, gay, lesbian or none of the above. I wish more people had your heart.
LikesTruth 1 year ago
You can't really call this detransitioning, because no transition took place, but for some reason, a number of years ago, I used to think I was trans. I think I mistook having an identity disorder with not having an identity. So, I was basically lost in this thinking that I was trans for about a year, until I figured out that I wasn't. I don't know that this kind of thing happens to people who've begun to transition, but it definitely seems probable.
ladycheru 1 year ago
i detransitioned a few years back and now the feelings are surfacing again, transitioning back to the real me is gunna be difficult...im glad u made this video!
disturbed1065 1 year ago
Great food for thought. I'm pre- everything and i don't know how I feel about it.
TheMalinTransition 1 year ago
I loved the video and have been watching them through out my transition, But right now I am detransitioning, does this mean I made a mistake, no. But came to a better understanding of myself, and have found out alot about myself and those around me.
socialhazard1285 1 year ago
If I had listened to my therapist when I was ten I probably would have transitioned but ended up detransitioning at some point because she was wrong. She seemed not to be able to tell the difference between gender dysphoria and just dysphoria. or maybe she couldn't understand that I was freaked out to be the only girl in my class with visible breasts but that doesn't really make me want to be a boy. Is a misguided therapist never a reason people detransition?
hviw 1 year ago
Detransitioning because it's not really you after all is fine with me. This is why we do real-life experience. Then we know.
Detransitioning because of family, social or economic pressures bothers me. I can think of nothing worse.
I transitioned 25 years ago and have been stealth ever since. With some recent changes in my life I'm re-evaluating some things. The biggie is concluding that stealth sucks after a while, and I'd like to be a little bit out. I'm just not sure how to do it...
raingirl53 1 year ago
im Transgender- but im Detransitioning only because after living life as a psychological female- not a biological one- for 6 months i realized that the only reason why i transitioned was because i wasnt comfortable with my femminite male expression and hand gestures, i didnt want to be a "Gay" male. it just didnt suite me. i felt incomplete. I transitioned to fill in that void. but honestly, still felt empty. i guess the true emptyness was not knowing who i really am. Learned alot & im ok now.
erikAsuxxxweewee 1 year ago
I can see the conflicts you have. An ancient truth is that a double minded man (or woman!) is unstable in all his/ her ways. It sort of gets into everything and I can see it draining you. People who transition seem to go through a lot of different phases (your "girly" most attractive phase may have made you feel like you lost yourself in some way. ). All I can say to you is the damaging of all of this is the constant introspection. find something else to focus your mind . We are here to help
monicaxireland 1 year ago
Detransition discussions usually lead to the unfortunate misconception that the person's decision to transition was a thoughtless, ill-conceived one. Someone who wrote about Cristine Daniels/Mike Penner said, "I hope that those who do decide to play expert for a day and cast judgment can accept that their judgments are completely irrelevant." Is the person alive? If alive, is the person happy? These matter more. Everyone's gender exploration need not have the same end point.
meglam2007 1 year ago
Each person's life is their own. If they need to detransition, for whatever reason, it is their decision. We have no right to judge them as more or less trans based on their decisions. There are often circumstances beyond our scope or ability to understand. We find it hard to discuss this because we are still wearing our shoes while pretending to walk in theirs. So let us give them the benefit of the doubt and respect their decisions.
meglam2007 1 year ago
Please view my video. Thanks!
transwomen1 1 year ago
I tried to turn back the clock several times. each time I went suicidal. The last time I ended up handcuffed and escorted into a crisis emerg at my local hospital. I live full time stealth and have done so for 8 years now. the dysphoriaq still hits me, and daily there is a struggle. I am very emotional and weepy and feel alienated to the point where I nbow basically shun most of my family and past friends. i love for my work and try to lead a moral loife but i
UpstairsMaid 1 year ago
find myself praying for death. I have huge health issues including a double organ transplant. which forces me to arrest the suicidal thoughts - how can I suicide when i owe my life to another's sacrifice and death. I am alone in this. always alone. I never wanted to live in pain - but this is my destiny.
UpstairsMaid 1 year ago
I'm not detransitioning but I'm trying very hard to find a surgeon who will reverse my srs (mtf). We need to get over this idea of you're only a woman (or man) if you do ___ or if you feel ___. I blame myself for the mess I'm in, but we really need to look out for each other - not turn this into just a different "in crowd" who shuns the out crowd.
foxayroxay25 1 year ago
Detransitioning is one of the toughest things I can imagine. After finding the courage to reveal your true self to the world, to re-embrace the lie for the comfort of others is a terrible tragedy. You are buckling to those who insist on the lie even when they know the truth. I understand that people need to survive, and I don't hold detransition against the victim, but I can't express the contempt I feel for those who force them back to the lie... and possibly suicide as the only other option.
amginena 1 year ago
I honestly wanted to comment on this topic. I'm currently going through a detransition right now due to, like you said, a poor economy. Hard to get hours at work. Anyway, I think all my friends have started treating me so much different. Basically doing the "Oh just be yourself" and I am like "Uh ok you pay for it?"
I get sick and tired of people deciding whats right or wrong for me. Ok, so it's ok to be transgendered but only if I look like a girl? Whatever. Seriously. Enough about "passing"
CarrieRising 1 year ago 7
the drugs recermend carstration
john95250 2 years ago
@john95250 Coherent statements would be nice.
karmatic1110 2 years ago 8
you can't detran you are steril
john95250 2 years ago
@john95250 You obviously didn't watch the video. Also sterility has nothing to do with transitioning.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
@karmatic1110 you look exactly like my english teacher , shes really kind =P "my favorite teacher"
animegeek3109 1 year ago
@john95250 you are so stupid omg! one can detransition... being steril has nothing to do with detransitioning there are straight men that are steril stupid ass lmfao!
Shuqi78 7 months ago
Thanks so much for this video. It's great. :)
I think I might do a video response soon...
TheMetallicSharpie 2 years ago
I think people don't discuss this topic is becuase: its viewed as an admission of failure-or even shame. That's why I prefer not to discuss it!
Thanks for brringing up the topic
lesliegaea 2 years ago
I wish you'd also say a bit more about people who detransition because they feel that their gender isn't trans after all. People who truly feel they made a mistake.
They may be controversial, they may be used against us, but they exist and it would be a sad thing if those people were ignored or rejected rather than just embraced as people who are on their own road towards finding their place in life.
SambraveTheWise 2 years ago 7
I don't think it invalidates their transness at all. Transition is HARD even after it's all said and done. Not enough people say that. We hear success stories, but rarely hear about the stress and internal questioning. For some people, I believe that their GID is more tolerable than the outcome of their transition.
karmatic1110 2 years ago 5
Well hear is what I was thinking, a lot of times there is a psychological evaluation before doing the first transition into a woman, and I guess I always just thought the only ones that detranstion are those that have split personalities. Of coarse for me, i don't plan to de transition once I do.^^
Aluenvey 2 years ago
neutrois people might detransition (in a legal sense) for other reasons too. You might have 2 neutrois ppl, one of whom is legally male and one female despite being and living as neutrois. If they were a couple, they might (quite rightly) want to have their relationship recognised as a same sex civil partnership. Thus one (who had perviously IDd or attempted to ID with the male/female binary) might detransition in a legal sense -so their same sex partnership could be recognised.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
As well as people detransitioning for the reasons you state, it's also inevitable some neutrois people will also detransition -to perhaps displace the notion that they were ever male or female. Some neutrois people may detransition as a means to persuade doctors to get rid of the secondary sexual characteristics they acquired -which can become almost intolerable as their original ones -becuase the only solution for a neutrois person is to be physically sexless.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
I find detraisitioning interesting becuase I've in a sense socially detransitioned out of livng as a female into a gender neutral role. I'm still registered as female becuase I have no option to be registered as what I really am - a neutrois person. I dress androgynously, take low dosage oestrogen and I bind. I just feel moare comfortable living this way and I date another neutrois person.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
Some people who are non-gender-binary identified trans people detransition (or partially detransition) to a more androgynous or neutrois role, becuase despite having genuine gender dysphoria identify as somewhere inbetween male and female, or as neither. For them transitioning to male or female might have taken them too far. However their existence does not invalidate the reality of trans women or trans men's identities.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
reasons why some people detransition... -some people become disillusioned that they haven't become as happy and fulfilled as they expected to become in their new role. -some do it for financial / family / medical reasons -and some becuase the doctors misdiagnosed them. (Yes they aren't infallible and this occasionally happens...)
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
perhaps there is a fear in the transgender community that transphobes will hold up detransitioned people as 'evidence' to (wrongly) suggest that transsexual people are confused or unstable or likely to likewise detransition at any moment. Given the transphobia of people lke Julie Bindel and David Batty in the Guardian newspaper perhaps these fears are justified.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
Detransition... It kinda irks me that talking about detransition is controversial. I don't think that the fact some people detransition in any way invalidates the identities of transgendered or transsexual people who continue to live in their 'acquired' gender role -which isn't really an acquired role, but who they were all along.
mxsquiggle 2 years ago
My god, you are brilliant! Thank you so much for "getting controversial!" I really haven't started, well, not very far. I'm older and have more bridges to burn, so I'm going very slowly. Very slowly.... We all do what we need to do - contrite, maybe. My slow transition is almost like a continuous detransition, but you described it! - hovering in a sort of Androgynous state waiting to dive into the fire. Again, thank you! And everybody - do what you have to do.
jeaniebett 2 years ago
took a break of 7 years, just because i couldn´t imagine beein loved for who i am, and thinking that, misinterpreted the most noble act ever done for my person. Now im laughing bout myselfe! Gladly, i don´t had to "detransition" cause there was not yet lot "change" to see. My nightmare: If i wake up tommorow and feel like nearly my whole life i felt... wrong, i´ll do it again. And wait what comes. It´s about my individual developement, not my sex.
TheMrFizz 2 years ago
i don't really think a female to male would really be able to detransition... it's not something i've ever thought about. i often worry that i'm about to do the wrong thing whenever i think about the whole transitioning thing... scary, scary!
alixinthemiddle 2 years ago
maybe they do it because it is so dam hard...with everything boyfriends girls and jobs and family guess you have to weigh the scales....
Fiorwestcoast 2 years ago
I agree that it is very hard sometimes :/ BTW, I saw your videos for the first time tonight and I really liked them. You are very pretty :)
karmatic1110 2 years ago
If we live in a true gender dichotomy then detransition is a term. If we live in a gender diverse world, the term then would be adjusting.
I detransition/adjust on a daily basis, depending on what I am doing - I am an entertainer and I am fucking proud of my singing voice, so I persent as male on stage, and when dealing with agents (on a daily basis) and also arseholes (on a daily basis).
I will not allow stereotypes to detirmine how I should act, sound or respond, either way.
Peace Y
PurplenovaX 2 years ago
I'm sure it exist, although I think it's important to determine the origin of the feeling to detransition, one of them I think it because of others who cause new dysphoria. Tricky question actually.
wltmy 2 years ago
i think you should talk about anything you want...that is what makes you a real live person with real issues rather than allot of 'fake' people , trying to act like the only thing they have to talk about is moving forward..sometimes we go back a few steps..thats normal about life..and i wish everyone could be able to talk about the fucking truth...
informationseeker26 2 years ago
I really appreciate what you said about some having less disphoria than others. I have chosen to wait for my children to get older and have had some tell me that I am just not transgendered if I can live with it.
nckgaret 2 years ago
I think one reason this topic is not brought up is out of fear.
Trans people get a lot of stick for apparently being 'mental' and i think people fear that if people hear too much about this people will be able to use that as evidence that people are just confused........
Manonthemoon009 2 years ago
I have a question as I'm trying to learn more about TG people out of my ignorance. Forgive me if I'm offensive in any way.
How much of a driving force is it to transition for TG persons, typically? Like, are there people who are satisfied knowing they are transgendered and don't feel a need for surgeries or hormones. Is it different from person to person, or do most TG persons feel a need to actively change their bodies?
Anyways, God bless. Congratulation on your transition.
triggergnu 2 years ago
Transgender is an umbrella term, so in te case of a crossdresser, gender dysphoria is not present at all. However when dealing with transsexuals, the push is so severe that we are driven to transition.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
@triggergnu Yes being transgendered (beyond gender) is different for everyone. It can come out on a different age, it can vary in strength of feeling, basically there is not a really good "standard" just like that cisgendered males/females are sometimes more male or more female. I see gender a a wheel of color, you can be anywhere. Thing is most people are used to the idea of binary gender.
wltmy 2 years ago
You should be a therapist.
misogynistlesbian 2 years ago
soo u used to be a man?
breeslovebug 2 years ago
Yep :)
karmatic1110 2 years ago
no she was never a man she was male
XxSANDRAxX310 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
umm, if she was a male, thats a man,
you got a dick, your a man
breeslovebug 2 years ago
Actually physical sex is far more complicated than the commonly assigned "male/female" dynamic. Of course knowing nothing about genetic variation or intersexed conditions, you wouldn't know that.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
now thats were your wrong
man/woman is a state of mind and social role, position, behavior or identity
male/female is whats between your legs your sex
XxSANDRAxX310 2 years ago
Personality would play a great part. How much you can be influenced by others for example. If you are easily influenced by others, then whom you mix with becomes important. The outcome could become quite unpredictable.
wendy11372 2 years ago
thats great, feeling rejected by the lgbt community is most likely very damaging. The fact you accept these peoples choice means a lot.
I would feel much more encouraged if more people were like you in this aspect
cheeseit126 2 years ago
There is no doubt that transition is hard, like you said de-transition means you can have all those things back that you lost along the way i.e. family and friends. And yes it is terribly exhausting, but to be honest I wouldn't go back I'm much more comfortable just being honest about who I am and if people aren't willing to accept that about me then I don't need them in my life plain and simple. Luv your vids Charlotte ^_^
GivesFreeHugz 2 years ago
I can understand it when someone determines that their need to transition is less than the problems they are given on account of their transition.
What I do *not* have patience with is when some (like the YouTube user known as "returnedhome" who is now actively bashing the trans community.
De-transition if you must --- but if upon de-transitioning you proceed to bash our community --- then you become just another transphobe to me -- except maybe an especially damaging one.
TrueRedAngel 2 years ago
Hey I hope you make an update video soon..So your job? hows it going?..i mean the ups and down? i wouldnt mind hearing about it..ive never heard anyone talk about what its like...wish you the best of luck..
informationseeker26 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
faggot
Darkrosesful 2 years ago
Makes total sense when I date women. Genius.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
Comment removed
GivesFreeHugz 2 years ago
I think detransitioning is scary for a lot of trans people because with so many people ready to take any opportunity to prove that we are merely confused or imprisoned by our own childish fantasies, any incident of a detransition calls into question the validity of our own gender identity. Like what you said in the beginning of your video. It is probably something that haunts many of us as well. The prospect of having to do so and seeming a failure (not that it makes you one) is a scary one.
Cassidyshadow 2 years ago
I transitioned 5 years ago and had a "clear" idea about what it meant to be female. So far from where I am now. I am not the "femme" female that started out this track. Bottom line I have Detransitioned from my ideals as I have grown. I consider myself as much a women as anyone. My ideals have changed. Transition is not a goal, it is a path. The path deviates, is redesigned and will look different than one expected when you look back. Transition is one aspect of handling GID.
shoague 2 years ago
what's GID?
lilyhwangathotmail 2 years ago
Gender Identity Disorder
karmatic1110 2 years ago
Bingo. Thats it. Gender Identity Disorder as labeled in the DSM IV/V
shoague 2 years ago
omg. i don't believe they consider it "disorder". WOW. in this dsm iv/v thingy is homosexuality officially still listed as a "disorder" too?
lilyhwangathotmail 2 years ago
Homosexuality isn't however transgenderism is listed as such.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
DSM IV is a mental health diagnosis book.. Don't think of it as saying "you're sick". It's labeled a disorder because the person isn't happy. The same as a person with anxiety or depression isn't happy with their problems. The reason why it is categorized as a disorder is for the psychologist to have a bit of order and figure out which way is best to help the person. Being transgender is a BIG step, and psychologists must be sure that the person can handle it. We're just trying to help.
RMBRRSD 2 years ago
Oh, also. Homosexuality isn't a disorder. If the person is happy being a homosexual then there is no problem there. But, if the person is unhappy (because of teasing or problems within the family, etc), then maybe there is a diagnosis to be made - but not of homosexuality, it could be depression. Maybe the person has no disorder at all, but does feel sad about the circumstances in which he/she is. In that case, the therapist would still help by counseling and giving as much advice as he/she can.
RMBRRSD 2 years ago
It used to be a disorder in an earlier DSM (I think DSM III)... Scary, huh? X
saintidoru 2 years ago
Wow, for a sec, I thought You were going to tell us that you were detransitioning...
That'd be horrible, and emotionally taxing.
detranstition is pretty much doing the whole thing over... I couldn't do it if I had a choice.
MrsAlexisClyde 2 years ago
Detransition sounds like another word for "confused westerner"... and considering that we all have access to the same resources, and logics in the western world, I find it difficult to reconcile with the concept. Because too many trans people neck themselves in third world places, who aren't confused, but just lack the resources, and logic.
At the same time, to me, western society is much of the cause of why "detransition" is even conceivable.
Thanks Charlotte! Another great vlog:)
urmwhynot 2 years ago
@urmwhynot No offense, but I have no idea what your talking about..... Can you explain?
It sounds like your saying detransition is a privileged for soft westerners , will little else to worry about...
Sorry if I'm wrong , just want to understand you.
T666X 1 year ago
I don't think that people should be shunned if they chose to either stop their transition at a certain point. As you mentioned, it's about personal happiness. Or in the case of some, about compromise. Whatever choices we make in life are for a reason, and it's best to know what that reason is to better help those who may need support.
Dranemra 2 years ago
oh ok charlotte no worries it was just the girls age which made me worried about the issue
alexandriahassett 2 years ago
id rather live one day anatomically female tham a lifetime as a male
what really depresses me is transphobia against young transitioners and i saw some today charlotte i wonder if you could do a vlog on people abusing young transitioners a comment i saw today was really shocking
alexandriahassett 2 years ago
On Youtube? Comments are made by trolls. It certainly isn't worth making a video about, and anyone who takes that person seriously needs to develop a thicker skin.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
@karmatic1110 Yeah but come on , their are many abusers in our own community, who thrive on bullying other trans people , you get it in the gay community too. Just look at the bullshit that happened between the U.K trans peeps and U.S , over the London TDOR. It got deeply nasty and abusive.
T666X 1 year ago
*saddles up the pony for war... point me in the direction, and ill beat up the troll with my keen wording...(,^^)!!.. No really, Charlotte is right, but I understand how it can be distressing to see someone young being made victim. Just show pitty to the tiny troll, and thumbs them down... surely, that is the most recognition you would want to show to the crazies in the world.
urmwhynot 2 years ago
After 50 yrs of denial, I couldn't go back to the gut wrenching internal torture. Transitioning very slowly and enjoy every mnute of it.
anamichle 2 years ago
phew charlotte i thought it was gonna be an announcement thank goodness its not girl but a good commentary on he subject
alexandriahassett 2 years ago
I got a few messages from people wishing me luck...I was like "Did you even watch the video?" It happens everytime I make a vlog. Pretty frustrating.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
To decide to progress through transition is already so immense, I would imagine that until the issue of detransition came up, no one in it would think about or even dwell on it. It is so, fundamental to a person, the idea of 'what if I have to go back?' might be too much for some to even entertain, regardless of it's importance.
It should be discussed, because regardless of anyone's intent, sometimes we have to do things we would never want to do.
But this you know. Be good C.
otopico 2 years ago
If I had to Detransition I might as well just die........
JenniferMarie1969 2 years ago
I'll tell you exactly why I don't talk about detransitioning: The idea of detransitioning is quite possibly the scariest thing I can think of! Just thinking of it makes me angry and depressed. Part of me, honestly, wishes I could go back because I have lost alot but I feel like I've gained alot more.
FindingTara 2 years ago
where we come from is where we are and going.
SJolly1 2 years ago
Hi Babe....Thanks for addressing this subject. I have had this used against me....my ex girlfriend sent me this article about this person in the Philipines who supposedly de-transitioned......so what! Thats just one person...they could be nuts for all I know.
Hugs
Monique
cannonshots 2 years ago
Who would seriously go through all this complicated transition just to go back and tell themself that it was just a phase?
Most of every person with a clear mind would never endure twice this pain and would just go back if they were forced to, because of a lack of money or there health has degraded.
I ask myself sometime if I'm SURE of what I'm doing and should not think it again and... jeez... I can't be this sure in all my life since I've thought about for more than 10 years... Good Topic!
Daedoichi 2 years ago
Family, financial considerations are typical in detransition. However, medical is also sometimes a problem. An old friend had to detransition from liver problems over a history of alcoholism.
In my case, the anti-androgen spironolactone gummed up my GI tract. I was forced to do ONLY the more powerful injectable estrogen until I got the orchiectomy done. In the mean time, I lost most of the physical changes to a T surge and had to start over.
furrypurrykitten 2 years ago
hey, good vid keep up the great work love all ur vids :) look great as well
have a good one
hypermmx 2 years ago
Not to be argumentative (well, just a little bit) I think you did sidestep the major issue here. Maybe not the issue you intended but there is a larger issue that goes to the heart of transitioning. No, there is no concensus but transsexuality in all it's nuances is still discussed.
Since I haven't figured out how to get around the restriction on posting links I suggest you Google: A WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS
(caps not requred, I'm sure) as an example.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
I outlined why people detransition:
1. Societal pressure (including family, monetairy issues)
2. Unrealistic expectations (ties into number 1)
3. Mistakes a mental illness or another motivation for gender dysphoria
What am I missing here?
karmatic1110 2 years ago
This video was to address WHY the transgendered community doesn't talk about this topic, NOT to create an entire video outlining ever facet of detransitioning.
It is not my responsibility to present a video to you in the way that you want it. This is a vlog, and if you don't like how I present something, then don't watch.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
A. You are taking this too personally.
B. I'll watch whatever and whoever I want, thank you. I watch you because I like your videos. However,
C. I'll turn this around on you. If my opinions are that onerous, then block me. I'm just discussing an issue. If you think I'm being disrespectful or whatever, then do what you must.
D. I am not attacking you. I am suggesting there is a larger issue here. Listen to me or don't.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
A. Subjective
B. Apparently you like the videos only if they are presented and cover the topic in the way YOU prefer
C. I'll consider it
D. I will choose the latter
karmatic1110 2 years ago
I'm not baiting an argument for the sake of being argumentative. I think this is very important because outside of religious bigotry or simple transphobia, the biggest threat to access to transitioning will come from the practical argument that transitioning is, in itself, a mistake and that in the least more rigorous controls should be put in place.
This issue since it can be represented as a practical, secular, medical argument represents a major vulnerability to the TS community.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
This type of comment is EXACTLY why I have been vlogging less. People act like I OWE them something, when I am taking the time to address things in a way I see fit.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
Yea, you are taking this way too personally as if discussing an issue and disagreeing with you on the issue itself is wrong. But I'll censor myself. I won't comment on any of your videos any more.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
Your disagreeing with something that wasn't covered in the video in the first place because it wasn't the aim of the video. That would be like me saying "I am an Atheist" and you saying "Wait, you didn't explain the Christian God." They are related but they do not pertain to the video. In that context, I don't know how I could be wrong about something.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
i just wanna say, you dont owe is anything, i for one am happy to see you make videos. Thanks for making them.
funChick84 2 years ago
Back when the TrannystarGalactica channel started up I proposed the topic of surgery regret which they accepted but everyone misinterpreted. Then I saw the title of your video here but I think you also ducked the issue somewhat.
I believe every thesis (for example: What transsexuality is) needs to be stress tested at the extremes. In this context, that means looking into the phenomenon of people who reverse their transition.
(more...)
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
(...end)
There is at least one channel on YT concerned with addressing this question. However, they approach it from the standpoint of genital mutilation. I'm sure there are many channels which approach the issue from a religious viewpoint.
It seems to me this issue should be investigated from a point of view relevant to TS's, as opposed to POV's relevant to people think transsexuality is abnormal.
I'd hoped you'd talk about people who returned full time to their biological gender.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
I didn't address it as such, because frankly we have very little consensus as to what transsexuality is. So many variations exist that I doubt I could do the topic justice while keeping it completely factual and out of the realm of opinion.
I personally only know of 1 person who detransitioned and stayed that way. That person did so because no matter what they did, they weren't perceived as the gender they identified with. This person was FTM.
I don't believe I sidestepped the issue at all.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
@FaceForRadio63 Well thats you told ....Not LOL....
T666X 1 year ago
I don't think anyone should be criticised for their choice of gender or sexuality, if it can be called a choice.
It's interesting to see that someone who was a man might be criticised for seekign to becoem a woman, then criticised again for wishing to return to manhood (as far as possible). It's pretty ironic really! :-)
MrSonicAdvance 2 years ago
Very insightful
bad2bone50 2 years ago
Comment removed
blue1spiral 2 years ago
I understand it's more complex and that different individuals have different motivations for detransition but isn't one of the biggest problems that we only have two genders to choose from while none of us will ever perfectly fit either?
patchissues 2 years ago
To Shotgun 7- I was thinking the same thing. I see small cracks in the icefloe all around. The reactions of my friends, particularly among the younger generation, to me coming out has shown me that there is a growing acceptance. The freak show just ain't bringing in the shocked crowds anymore, and isn't that great. It's made me feel an obligation to be as open as possible- cause I' a good, normal, "executive trans"(a la Eddie Izzard) and I can help widen those cracks.
Filifloats 2 years ago
Excellent topic. I totally understand the pressures you encounter in transitioning, since I'm just starting. It's like walking through a pool of jello- the only thing that keeps me going is the NEED for inner/outer harmony. I think everyone had moments where you want to fuck it and just give up. I think the number of people who make it through the deep end is a HUGE testament to the validity of our gender identity. And shunning somone who turns back is stupid, cruel, and wrong.
Filifloats 2 years ago
As I watched your video, I began to wonder if what you were describing was another version of "purging." Transgender folk sometimes rid themselves of the tg trappings for a variety of reasons as you have mentioned. From what I have come across, this appears to be something that the pre-op mtf does more so than the pre-op ftm. Sometimes for survival, as you noted, but also as kind of a final litmus test to see whether or not they can try to fit in with the birth gender.
scarletharlot666 2 years ago
How about this, as a new topic. Have you noticed that all of the major tv shows have done stories involving trans-people. Shows like House, Bones, Mental, have all had stories that I think were great. Perhaps we are no-longer a taboo subject. It's a baby step toward society respecting us as people, not sub-human freaks.
shotgun7 2 years ago
Well. If someone transitions OR detransitions it's their choice and who knows all the reasons why they're doing it. I figure anybody that looks down on them for detransitioning is just as bad as someone who looks down on someone for transitioning. It's the same attitude, but from a different side.
It's hard to say why it's not talked about much. Maybe the people that do it feel ashamed. Like they've failed. I don't know.
xoxSugah 2 years ago 2
Are U thinking about Detransition?
maatwerk67 2 years ago
This is indeed a unique topic you bring up. Living in itself is beyond complicated and that's not even considering the possibilty of being transgendered.
Detransitioning is a real possibility for one that is transgendered and of the many possibilities one can come accross during a transition.
TR000PA 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
There is no complication for Transsexuals, for transgendered there are doubts! Detransitioning is someone that thought they were transsexual and turned out to be a transvestite or crossdresser!
teneovestriexsisto 2 years ago
That is the biggest bunch of bias opinion BS I have heard to date. If you are not capable of making intelligent statements, then please leave the conversation to those who are.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
@karmatic1110 Amen.
T666X 1 year ago
Nice video, to have been raised one gender and to change sex permanently, you have to eliminate all the theories and possibilities given, experience all different aspects of life that encompass gender and sexuality and live in their roles to truly find your own, I believe only then are you fully aware of your own sense of being what is right for you, you alone and only then are you in a position to seek out medical introversion to correct your body.
Hugs!
teneovestriexsisto 2 years ago
Hands down one of the best explanations into the workings and ideals behind transitioning I have heard yet!! Very well stated indeed!
xXSheBldsQkMshnsXx 2 years ago
wow what a great topic hun. You really did a great job. It's so hard to transition and then sometimes things go all wrong and you feel you maybe made a mistake so you start to detransition but if you are truely transgendered you will always come back and try to be the person that you know you are inside!! Great job
voguedolll 2 years ago
I don't know if I agree with that. Not everyone who is transgendered and detransitions retransitions. Circumstances are different for everyone. If anything that sounds more like a catchphrase used by the majoity of the TG community more than scientific fact.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
well all I can do is speak from what I have seen and heard from people I know . It;s like the crossdresser that purges and always comes back . Of course nothing is ever 100% in this world but I have to say the majority is will retransition, not quite sure where you would get scientific facts from on this subject .
voguedolll 2 years ago
Well, Not many people talk about it, because, atleast, as far as I know, not very many people do it. I know, a few do, but the majority of people that transition, stay that way.
Trinitysun15 2 years ago
Actually more people do so statistically than you think.
karmatic1110 2 years ago
Well, that's precisely why I said, as far as I know. I'm not an expert, but, that's just my guess as to why. You're probably right though.
Trinitysun15 2 years ago
Great topic, I've had this problem the last ten years, no support from friends, or family. Right now it's so hard to find one self these days. I was borned the wrong sex and everything. I was on hormones 12 yrs ago, but since then I've lost my job, and everything else. Now I'm living with my older sister, and thats where the no support from my family. She knows that I'm a transgender person and everything, but shr don't want me to "wear womens things" around her, to me thats dishearting as well.
SexyDawn31 2 years ago
Very interesting stuff! I tend to agree with you about accepting people who detransition, instead of seeing them as threats (same as with gay and lesbian folks who, for whatever reason, start to experience opposite-sex attraction).
I often think that our society reinforces the gender binary- you are male or female, but just pick a side. And for genderqueer folks who struggle with that, transition can seem like the perfect answer, when in reality, it's much more complex and very personal.
cand86 2 years ago
I had severe depression for six years and when I was faced with suicide I had no choice but to transition. Since then I do not have any depression and am finely living a normal happy life as myself and not trying to live as others want me to live. Forty eight years of hell was a waist of my life and nothing can make me go back there. Have a great day my friend!!!
deedeecastots 2 years ago
Think id like to see a follow-up vid to this one. Perhaps the timing just wasn't right you know. As you mentioned work was needed. Perhaps cutting hair and all that dressing in a so called normal way in public, might work for a little while. But think if a person is trans, and do to circumstances like finding employment, in their off time, they can still go all girly if they wanted too. There are some nice wigs, and whatever, so why not ask about letting the girl or boy out after work.
mishakailana 2 years ago
I don't know many transgendered males or females, but I do know that we need to stop creating minorities within the minority we already are. I congratulate your bravery in bringing up a topic that isn't getting much air time. I think we need to support and try to understand all who exist within the queer community. It's a personal choice made for personal reasons whether one is transitioning, detransitioning, or retransitioning. Great video.
lousytshirt 2 years ago
i just recently detransitioned due to not being able to get a job and financial reasons. alot of my friends didnt care but a few acted like ok what are u going to be next?, a cat? i cut my hair the other day and presented as a male and got the same job i applied for two months ago....
SealDocLarry 2 years ago
I know some friends who have detransition, and the stories I've herd from them basically related to financial issues or they just gave up and not liking their body.
Rhonda577 2 years ago
I also feel it as a slap in the face being transgendered myself and I saw a special on T.V. that focused only on the m-to-f transsexuals who detransisitioned and my family still uses that to this day to tell me I am wrong and that I am sick. Also, I have heard that one, "you can come home if you stopping being a girl" although they don't use the word girl and itt is so disheartening.
morundomiel 2 years ago
Great video and I agree with you the fullest :)
All love from me Jasmine
Eopyk 2 years ago
Hi Charlotte How are you ? I Always Love watching your videos I totally Agree What Ever your, our, mine (example) desicions you make in Life no one should treat you indifferent,It's your life Live it To the fullest,is About being happy with your,our,My,Their Happiness Live a happy Life and Screw the world Since you will never be totally happy if you live life for others oxox Melinda
Bluefairy0173 2 years ago
Of course some detransition for sad reasons - 'giving up' as people are saying, but some people realize it wasn't the right thing for them - i think we are are afraid to acknowledge that other people have made mistakes, for fear that people will think it of us. I think acknowledging that convictions can change or be wrong helps us to question ourselves and know ourselves better. Just because one person finds their true path, it doesn't mean others might not wander up the same path mistakenly.
jetblack 2 years ago
The key phrase is "they forgot how bad it was". Sometimes we must be reminded of that. It's a very difficult decision. You bare your soul to the world and they don't accept you, so you buckle to pressure and say (to keep your job or kids or whatever) "OK, fine. I'll be what you want." But people have seen the truth and no one believes the lie anymore anyway. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I urge compassion & patience for those who detransition. They need it as much as anyone.
amginena 2 years ago
Hi Charlotte - really great insightful video. I think that there may be times when a person is unsure that transitioning is right for them or their circumstances make it very difficult to continue. I agree with you that they should be supported in whatever direction they decide to follow.
KarTeg01 2 years ago
Oh, and I'd call a move to androgyny a *new* transition, rather than detransition (which implies a move *away* from something, rather than what I think it is - a move *towards* something new...
X
saintidoru 2 years ago
I can see that transitioning and then going back could look even more like a negative judgment of the TG/TS community than never having addressed the issues in the first place.
saintidoru 2 years ago
This deserves a good discussion - well, I can dream!
I think that detrans could be looked at alongside non-trans. I can understand the transgender community sticking closely together and being unwilling to accept "outsiders" given how much they/we are judged by outsiders. However, as a non-transitioner, I'm bound to feel on the outside (even if I can be an advocate on the "outside" more easily).
saintidoru 2 years ago
Yes. I personally feel alot of pressure from people that are close to me to detransition, so it's understandable that people would give in to that.
Ja22i 2 years ago
A friend of mine had to stop for medical reasons (bad reaction to some drug) and had a great attitude about it because she knows in three years there will be a whole new batch of drugs out and from a past suicide attempt that she is stronger than she even knew. if not for the Raiders fan thing she would be my hero.
rowshack 2 years ago
very interesting topic!
newkie2008 2 years ago
Its hard to go into why a person stops their transition or even detransitions but maybe in the end it was just not what they thought it would be. You spend most of your life living as the gender you thought you were and then you transition and now you are living as the other gender. For myself its hard to see how I am treated now. When I was a male it was easy and I was treated like I was a first class person. But now I am treated like I am helpless and can't fend for myself. Its a big shock.
staciefallan 2 years ago
When I had a male body life was easy, But know I have a female body I see how I am treated different. I love the fact i am seeing as a female now but I see how girls are treated and its like a girl is weak and needs help to fend for themself. Its a shock and I hate how men treat women with this male like dominance. But in the end I would rather be treated like some helpless second class person then live with with the pain of gender dysphoria and hating my body and being a male.
staciefallan 2 years ago 4
even though i worded my stuff weird i agree with what you are saying. all i was saying it was easier to live as male in the aspect of social norms, than it is for a woman. I dont think i will be destransitioning now or anytime later, i like who i am now and thats female.
funChick84 2 years ago
i posted a video about this.pretty hard to understand my scottish accent though im sure. rachel
RACHELTAYLOR7 2 years ago
Usually TG`s detransition for medical or religious reasons.
quimbyt 2 years ago
It has made eveything a little bit more hard for me. Some see it as "well when ya give up once you are just going to do it again" and I don't see it as having given up. I see it just as you said, I forgot how hard trying to be what they wanted me to be really was. OMG thank you for bringing this up.
JoannaBri 2 years ago
I'm so jealous that you live under a waterfall :P
Great video!
Widdledoo 2 years ago
I think you are right. It is quite simple to me. Regardless of where someone is in their journey on this planet, they deserve respect, kindness, acceptance and love. (Of course unless they are infringing on someone else's rights....different topic)
yescandles 2 years ago
It could be looked down upon because once you come out to people, you kind of can't undo it. It makes people seem less credible. It also makes the whole transgendered thing seem like it isn't a real condition to some people maybe. It is a hard thing to do and not everyone is up to the task because transitioning could mean starting a whole new life for some. The reason as to why the trans community probably is against is because they feel since this person went back they denounce the struggle
Lauren3332 2 years ago 2
This is a great topic to address. It's relatively rare, it happens, and I don't think it's inherently a bad thing, you know? Why shouldn't people have autonomy over their bodies? If someone feels one gender for a time then decides they're both, neither, or the other, why should that be such a problem? I think a lot of detransitioners are quiet so that their own informed choices don't get used against (other?) trans people. That's kinda a shame, too.
coveredintea 2 years ago
Most of the cases of detransition I've heard of are people who have "found religion" and are convinced by others to go back.
SteaIthie 2 years ago 2
If you woke up tomorrow & found yourself alone in the world, you'd still have gender dysphoria, but transitioning wouldn't be much of a priority anymore. It's because we exist in society with other people that gender has such huge ramifications on our lives. The impetus to transition comes from within, but ultimately it's the feedback from others that drives us forward. My guess is that people who de-transition either get too much negative feedback, or their impetus wasn't genuine to begin with.
Erica2Lives 2 years ago
Great topic. I have not known anyone that detransitioned. I know someone i am surprised hasn't. That is another story though:)
ShellySummers 2 years ago
Maybe as a society we (human beings) should get rid of gender binary system. That could help transgender people greatly. For example I hate how clothes are divided in stores: for women, for men, for boys and for girls. That is annoying! I have a small male body, so it is hard for me to find clothes from men's section. If I could decide, there would be only unisex things! Don't get me wrong: there could still be feminine and masculine things, but no strict binary system.
i4u2qt 2 years ago
Hmmm. Well, once I decided I was going to transition, I immediately started planning for it, and there really has never been any doubt that it was the right decision, and I will not bend to anyone else's will regarding it. If my family or friends don't like it, they can go to hell. I've got plenty of people who support me. I don't associate with closed minded bigots, no matter who they are.
ErikaFTH 2 years ago
My take on this is everyday i want to detransition.. simply because its the easy way out. Being a woman in todays world is very hard, theres a big demand for you to be skinny, to look pretty, etc.. being a guy was easy for me, because being a man is easy, regardless of what FtMs think. The life of a man is also more rewarding in certain aspects, im an engineering major, and still men dominate the field, and women are looked down upon. However, ive been lucky to pass with flying colors its hard.
funChick84 2 years ago 2
Comment removed
Erica2Lives 2 years ago
i understand im not a "man" so to speak but what im talking about is the lifestyle, wake up in the morning shower, put on clean shirt, and jeans thats it you are done. Thats how it was for me before i transitioned.
funChick84