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  • That pic of him on the book is just priceless.

  • i just get chef boyardee from cvs and eat it before work

  • Keep pressing 1:43 for infinite lulz

  • Oh god this is the best onion video ever...i died of laughter

  • I like Ted Allen 175% more for doing this.

  • yah fuck yah! Cheese burgers!

  • "To Hell with this shit!  Let's just get some REAL food!"

    Ted Allen, proving not everyone on Food Network takes themselves so damn serious.

  • Ahaha, I see you have this problem in America also!

  • I'm surprised they don't have a show called micheal may.

  • awesome!!

    

  • ted allen is completely at home with the onion what a performance! i call for him being a regular guest, or maybe even a host!

  • While I do find this video to be more of a piss take and not satire, it does bring up a legit point: why are more sustainable foods *more* expensive than so called unsustainable food? Absent government good old boys action, shouldn't the reverse be true?

  • It took me awhile to realize that this was a parody XD

  • Wow I already thought Ted Allen was interesting but this takes to a whole new level!!

  • haha sounds wierd at 0:27

  • 42 people love their faux-intellectual gay-wad dinner parties...

  • the ending had me rolling.

  • If conservatives knew how to make fun of themselves like this they wouldn't be such dickheads gay-wads.

  • Comment removed

  • @rollcat886 Directly quoted "gay-wad" from the vid, rollcat886. Watch the video yourself. Besides, anyone commenting on an Onion clip asking if someone was in 8th grade is pretty iffy...

  • This is what I think of when I hear "fancy food".

  • I am a chef, I've worked in food service for thirty years and this is absolutely spot on.

  • I love how there are nuggets of truth to every Onion video, yet they are still hilarious.

  • 42 are pretentious foodies

  • The fact that he's a real celebrity chef makes this so much more amazing.

  • I didn't know the Onion got Chef Ramsey.

  • 42 people have been blanching for 30 seconds

  • "Sounds Annoying"

  • The Onion... F'ing hilarious! Way to go getting Ted Allen, too!

  • 41 people have no sense of humor.

  • Cob nut = Hazelnut

    :P

  • Cobb nuts....I see what you did there...

  • LOL The ending for this was priceless. The stagehand just had this confused look on her face when she was hit by the fish. xD

  • The Onion is great because they understand when a gag gets old. SNL could learn something from them.

    Also, Ted Allen is the fucking man for doing this.

  • What is with the vignetting around the frame of this video? It makes it seem less like an onion video/morning show video.

  • I stopped and thought "Wait, it's the guy from chopped who pretends he cares what the judges thinks isn't it...? It can't be.." before I realized sure enough. Wow, way to go onion, makes it all that much better getting him to say it/admit lol.

  • "for you and all your asshole friends" hahaha lol! the way he says that kills me

  • It is beyond awesome that Ted Allen actually did this show!

  • COB NUTS!?

  • the convoluted cooking for the babu turnips is the one of the best parts, but also Teds gaybomb is epic because, he is in fact gay, great stuff.

  • There's one book I'd buy just for the cover.

  • cob nuts = hazel nuts

  • Shock them in an ice bath hahah

  • This episode was the first i seen

  • I think this is the best onion vid I've seen in a long time

  • Its like Posh Nosh, only more different.

  • Fantastic! This is so fantastic on so many levels. I'm reading about the use of the word gay-wad here by many. The fact that Ted Allen used it is priceless! For those that may not know - Ted is gay.

  • Oh yeah, and we should copy/paste this video link to every snippet of the 'the Chew'.

  • @cliffandy good idea.. :)

  • @01:08: "Oh, see, I'm getting furious all over again." Hilarious.

    Oh, and...gay-wad gay-wad gay-wad to all those who think an Onion snippet is going to cause random acts of gay-related violence. Maybe Brooke Alvarez will come along and kick the fuck out of us.

  • COB NUTS?! Just the sound of that name makes me furious.

  • HAHAHHAHAHA

    Man the Onion is just freaking absurd of funny.

  • Loved him on QE when I was in middle school. Now I respect him too. That was legit.

  • FUCK YES TED ALLEN AND THEONION OMGWAT IS HAPPENING KABOOOOOM MY MIND JUST EXPLODED

  • LoL! Supporting local, ethical businesses over giant, subsidized commercial conglomerates with products that travel on average 1300 miles before they get to you. What a bunch of faggy pretentious dickheads.

  • @rasputozen Ugh, I love you pretentious dickheads! Ever consider efficiency? Sure, those products travel 1300 miles, but it's tons of product. Compare that to several kilos of product traveling < 50 miles from a local farm, and you will see that there really isn't a difference. Not to mention the ability of giant factory farms to grow more food on less land and with less expenditure on resources. And I am a vegan and a liberal, but I hate the "home grown = better for everything" fallacy.

  • @atlant80 that's 1300 miles per person... versus... < 50 miles per person.. for the same amount of product. Whether tons of product are shipped 1300 miles altogether or in separate 1 lb packages makes no difference, all of the product is still traveling 1300 miles and wasting that much more energy. Don't take this as me brow beating you because really, I like you, but you're mistaken.

  • @rasputozen hahaha no, not for the same amount to product! For much, much less product, as farmers tend to grow much less than corporate farms. How many 50 mile trips do you think it will take for the same amount of product? Dozens, which makes local growing even less clean than corporate farming.

  • @atlant80 I wish I could just talk to you so we don't have to do this choppy back and forth... the food is shipped 1300 miles to get to the store you buy it from... ppl go to and from the store probably once a week. If it's grown locally it only travels < 50 miles to get to the store. And yes, it is the same amount of product. What stores do you know that carry 6 tons of celery??

  • @rasputozen - Jumping on an old debate, while I'm definitely not a localvore, I have to say that very few foods can survive a 1300 mile trip and the time it takes to make the trip picked while ripened. The less said about how the big guys try to get around this fact the better. However, things do change once we enter the realms of frozen/canned/jammed/etc. foods.

  • @Shezmu Out of necessity it makes sense to import/export certain foods/products. It's a simple fact that there are some places and climates that produce certain foods or products more easily. I don't debate this. Importing frozen or canned foods that can just as easily be grown or produced in the same local climate is wasteful because the imported food has to travel greater than 100 miles, on average 1300 with our current model. It's common sense; this is foolish.

  • @rasputozen - I believe I agree with this, if we take seasonality and the like into account. like for instance, importing strawberries from out of state during the winter months wouldn't count as importing something that could be easily grown locally.

  • @Shezmu Sure, importing on the basis of a product being out of season is a step in the right direction. Even this though can be solved locally with canning and freezing. If we wise up a little more we might realize that it's probably not a good idea to eat a lot of things that are out of season anyway. Animals instinctively and out of necessity don't do it (throw an orange out in winter time and see if it gets eaten - I haven't tried it with strawberries but I figure it'd be the same).

  • @rasputozen - oh, and things also get complicated if one believes in the concept of "taste of place".

  • @Shezmu If by "taste of place" you mean importing stuff from distant lands because of the thrill of the novelty of the fruits of different climes then I'd say that should be reserved only for very rare occasions and certainly not to be incorporated as a staple of one's diet. It's the equivalent of being a tourist versus a local. Also a lot of exotic foods have rough "equivalents" in most temperate climes. Be creative.

  • My old room mate was a chef at a 5 star restaurant and he was cooking really bomb ass meals all the bloody time. that was awesome. too bad he ended up also being a coked out douch...

  • More today now videos!!!

  • 1:44 owned

  • Fucking loved it

  • LOL. They should show that as a commercial during "Chopped."

  • It could also be called fish in a hazelnut shell served with mashed turnips. A meal is only as pretentious as you make it.

    Didn't like the video anyways. It shouldn't be busy slapping me in the face with an awkward variation of satire.

  • @BlurbFish Whoa, whoa whoa... 'hazelnut shell'?

  • @GypsyLeah A shell made of hazelnuts. I'm aware that it's ambiguous.

  • 37 people are pretentious foodie gaywads

  • This is awesome. This is the Onion at its best

  • Oh yeah your dick head friends will really think thats important, i give Ted props for dropping the gay bomb, that is one cool homosexual

  • This had me rolling! LMAO

  • stop it guys, south park will have nothing left to make fun of

  • LOL this shit was hilarious. They couldn't have picked a better guy than Ted Allen for this. He's in so many cooking shows with pretentious chefs and the irony and satire was spot on.

    The ending kinda sucked though. I guess the Onion has realized that the average user is too fucking retarded to understand sarcasm so now they pretty much throw you a punch a line explaining what they were making fun of.

  • @laputadetumadre11 I disagree. I think it's really funny seeing a guy finally get sick of his own bullshit and just snap.

  • Chef Ted Allen needs a new career...

  • Love the part when the fish hits the lady, splat LoL great stuff

  • @AngieCummingTV  HO!

  • @fishyguy40 Lick it Bitch! =]

  • I'm so glad he was cool enough to go along with it

  • My dickhead friends feel conflicted about this video.

    I liked it.

  • accurate

    

  • This is amazing

  • Fucking great, as always.

    "Ah, you must blanch them for 30 seconds, then you shock them in an ice bath."

    LMFAO.

  • LOLOLOL

  • Did he say 'gay-wad'? GAY WAD? Are you hearing this, Nobel Prize for Literature Committee?

  • @mar9hyperzeroshadow

    It's funny because he's gay. You hear that, gay people who get offended by the use of "gay" as an insult? Ted Allen's cool with it.

  • And gay person who's okay with throwing around the word gay as an insult is a bro in my book.

  • @mar9hyperzeroshadow I've been saying gaywad for years

  • Sounds annoying!

  • Rofl, ted allen just got way cooler in my book

  • One time I cooked shrimp alfredo, I'm such a good chef, and it only took me 3 minutes!

    I call it, "Microwave Dinner".

  • "Foodie" is just a another term for gluttony. If you're gonna be a glutton, at least be honest about it.

  • First Onion video that's made me burst out laughing in a while.

  • WHAT? its like my two worlds are colliding! the real and the fake.....

  • That's pretty cynical, even for the Onion.

  • that was absolutely LLLLLOOOOLLLL

  • gaywad? I'm disappointed Onion.

  • @megablade12345 cry some more

  • @megablade12345 It's not words like gaywad that make this world miserable. It's people who get all miserable when they hear words like gaywad.

  • ...TO HELL WITH THIS SHIT! LETS JUST GET SOME REAL FOOD.

  • what is with that vignette

  • @zim129 Typical food show network effect, makes ya angry/hungry.

  • @zim129 Yeah, I thought I was the only person who noticed it. I don't why someone would think that is a good idea.

    Also why does it seem like they upload fewer and fewer good onion videos? I really don't care for the sub-par writing found in the new videos, I also think the new cast, especially Brooke Alvarez can't compare to the original actors.

  • LOL!

    

  • precious foodie bullshit or pretentious foodie bullshit?

  • @Xezatt pretentious

  • Yes. Ted fucking Allen. I did not see this coming.

  • hands up if you check if Amazon has the book?

  • 1:43 XD

  • Cobnuts?!?!? Just the sound of that name makes me furious.

  • This video is sooo realistic! LOL I love that I'm not the only one who thinks these things :P

  • I was gonna say that the ending was unfunny, but then I looked up that this was a real guy and not just an actor, and that makes it better.

  • This one reminds me of my favorite Onion's video: "Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work"! LOL

  • @yvosaurus Dammit, you read my mind!

  • i really want to seem him throw the food at the next Iron Chef

  • Gay wad.. and your dickhead friends would love that... Laughing so hard it hurts!

  • fan f'ing-tabulous!!!

  • I think we can safely say that we all hate those kind of "meals" and cooks that make them.

  • Best video in a long time!!! Loved it.

  • i stuck this food book up my ass , and then my mother fuct me in the ass

  • I'm a Chef and this is absolute gold.

  • WOW. I have just gained an large amount of respect for Ted Allen.

  • What's with the vignetting? Seriously?

  • ahaha that ending was brilliant!

  • i bet you know a lot about those cob nuts

  • Comment removed

  • His shirt fits him so nicely... I wonder where he gets his alterations done?

  • The pretentious bullshit has migrated from the comments section to the video itself. Well, most of it has.

  • And they did this all without repeating the term 'creme freshe' countless times.

  • Today Now was once my favourite onion show but now it sucks!

  • hahaahah when the chicken hit that lady hHAHAHAHAHHA i fucking love the onion

  • wishes every cooking show was like this

  • 1:44 it stuck to the clipboard, hahaha.

  • This is funny to everyone because the pretentious dorks who are like that don't think that they are.

  • Very weak by Onion standards. There's no genuine satire here at all. Rather than showing us some absurdity of life, it tells us what to think. Makes me concerned that the Onion is in decline.

  • @lenvm:

    No genuine satire?? I completely disagree. They are satirizing every dumb-ass, arrogant, pretentious chef who comes on these talk/morning shows and makes some absurd, ridiculous "creation" comprised of ingredients you can't buy at any normal supermarket and which no one can ever successfully recreate in their own kitchen. This is absolutely Onion-style and definitely a true parody.

  • @SavoyTruffle78 You're absolutely right, most people couldn't get 78 truffles imported from the Savoy region of France. Thanks for rubbing it in. =P

  • @Xeonaa:

    ROFL. My username is a nod to the Beatles song "Savoy Truffle," and "78" is my birth year. :-) 

  • God, so violent!

  • lolol

  • Better than Sandra Lee.

  • LOOOL Best Satirical Comedy on the Internet!!

  • Did he purposely throw it at her crouch just to make it humorous? Cuz it worked for me. ^^

  • Brilliant

  • your dickhead friends will really like that. lol

  • YES  ..... YEEEEEESSSSS

  • Best video in a long time.

  • That's a keeper. I will probably laugh all the way to pick up my pizza !!!

  • Shock them in an ice bath.

  • Oh Ted Allen, you will forever have a place in my heart because of this skit.

  • *Wishes that cookbook was real*

    :'(

  • @macandease THIS

  • @macandease We have a new candidate for a second book by the Onion!

  • while i like the overall message of the video, this one was poorly acted. Onion, i expect better.

  • For your pseudo intellectual, condescending, fagget ass dinner guest :)

  • So so true!

  • to hell with this shit *toss* *smack*

  • I already liked Ted Allen. He just scored bonus points lol

  • LoL so funny

  • lol, that poor assistant's titty.

  • Today Now! segments are my favorite!

  • LOL, a cob nut is known to normal people as a hazelnut!