Report: Baby Skull Jewelry May Be Linked To Violence

[ProNorden]

Excellent satyric indictment of the 'Blood Diamond' Industry as well as the Elephant Ivory, Rhinoceros horn, and related barbaric 'businesses'.

Fun that it uses so many of the standard 'media advocacy' tropes and patterns of evasion.

Way To Go Onion.

[ArtypNk]

I am a small time baby scull provider, and I agree with regulation. I work my ass off tracking and extracting baby sculls, and you mean to tell me some Africans can just waltz in and flood the market with poor quality calcium depleted baby sculls, just like that? Buy locally harvested baby sculls people.

[MultiHendo]

every little girl grows up dreaming of a hole chest of baby skulls

[J68927]

i liked hating baby skulls before it was cool

[EltonvonCthulhu]

I've worn baby skulls since I was one, and I love 'em.

[kilgoretroutcanada]

NAFTA has decimated the baby skull industry in the US and Canada. How can our union-wage harvesters compete with cheap Mexican skullers? Personally, I don't see any difference in their quality.

[flameflyer1]

this is a indirect point towards blood diamonds.

[lukeiamyourfaja]

they got in the way of their own machete strikes lol

[1GoldRunner]

This is fake right?

[lukeiamyourfaja]

@1GoldRunner really!?!?

[geblox]

@1GoldRunner What gave it away?

[GarebearShields]

@1GoldRunner

no way!?!?!?!?

[TheDullster]

@1GoldRunner ...You mean I shouldn't ACTUALLY wear my baby skulls in public? Dx

[TheUsername1029]

never buy your baby skulls from amazon. just the other day some bastard sold me "a pure, canadian-made baby skull that was fresh from the womb," but when I got it, it was one of those cheap, Chinese ones with scratches and deformities.

[Uratashi]

As a responsible harvester, I'm frankly quite disappointed by how much our trade has been frowned upon. These illegal traders are giving the rest of us a bad name.

[WhatTheHeckAnimation]

I actually want one....

[MckyMseNTarotCrds]

Great, another friggin' issue to make us feel guilty. What's next, is Bono gonna make a speech about it? Get over it, world. If God hadn't meant us to adorn ourselves in baby skulls, he wouldn't have made them so smooth and beautiful.

[holyfrost2]

I think Lauralee is wearing a Fetus Skull. What a priceless family heirloom! My baby skull necklace is of a 4 year old toddler. It's too big so I have to use it as a lamp

[DeadlyGrim]

...Hmm, I think this might have something to do with diamonds.

[PCHDX]

I have a discussed the issue of baby skulls on here before. It is good to see that the discussion is still going on controversy on fair baby skill practices. God Bless America

[EmbrunFalcon91]

Hell, Id wear one. LOL....im serious..

[atmatheprophet]

Are they selling dead babies at Best Buy now as well?

[thesprintingchef]

@lucilleball7 yea she ate the rest of the baby backstage

[FantasizingHere]

Personally, I prefer those monkey and teenage skulls; less valuable, for sure, but worth is not in the item, it's how much effort was put into getting it for you right? and I find them to be just as beautiful; honestly who can really tell the difference between an "authentic" baby skull and one obtained by gravedigging? Exactly- only the professionals at skull stores.

[ElizaKW]

Doesn't Canada have a good market on well formed ethically harvested baby skulls? When I get married, that's where I'm getting my baby skull from... even if it is more expensive.

[thesprintingchef]

@ElizaKW no no no your thinking of baby SEAL skulls not human....

[keen14you]

I agree that this is an important issue... The baby skull trade is fraught with fencing and knock-off substitution. How often has a peaceful, law-abiding citizen been accosted for his or her valuable baby skull jewelry? Only for the scumbag thief to unload his hot merchandise to a vendor! How many buyers have unknowingly purchased baby skulls that were obtained in such a criminal and dishonorable way?? Something must be done!!!!

[chald627]

The tickets are now diamonds, and the diamonds are now baby skulls.

[baa1234]

no, duncan, that is a cow skull!

GOD DAMMIT

[kevinmartinez723]

THEY JUST CHANGED THE WORD DIAMONDS FOR BABY SKULLS LOL

[KroatienSS]

For those who don't get it, it's parody on African bloddy diamonds.

[Sweetbnny]

WTF is wrong with people....Baby Skulls?? Really? I dont see the beauty.

[afreakingbear]

@Sweetbnny i suppose you're the type of hussy that likes those nasty COW skulls =/

[mrbriscoe2001]

I prefer "Free Range " baby skulls;not skulls from those cruelly confined in cribs....

[MrVabeachdad]

152 people got cow skulls

[ClassicGaryFilms]

this whole onion news being real joke "yeah because all onion reports are real" shit is getting real OLD

[slayman123]

I was able to "LOL" with onion technology.

[haydamak]

This is yet another example of the socialist trying to push his agenda. As a consumer, when I'm shopping for baby skulls I'm not thinking "where was this made?" I'm looking for a good price.

[shapaza]

Clifford Banes lives one hell of a life

[tomitstube]

it's the free market. regulation will only hurt the industry and jobs will be lost. child labor, witch burning, slavery, and now this... can't we get big government off our backs?

[HickorySquirrel]

holey moley I thought this was real for a second.. yikes lol

[MultiChrisjb]

@HickorySquirrel Of course it's real. All the onion reports are real.

[masticina]

That independant dealer for skulls definitely knows a sucker when he sees one. Really you can see the bad level of quality!

[Arsenov92]

Going to legally harvest a baby skull :D

[Music4AII]

So many fake stories, so many real problems..

[Hyshinara]

yup diamonds suck :P

[skeezerzz]

where's the skull?

[MissHappinesh]

Chinese baby skulls are so cheap!

[sireduardo420]

@MissHappinesh they're no less valuable, there's just so many of them...

[TriggerheartExcelica]

I'm surprised they didn't make a reference to Dhalsim.

[kreugerpranka]

Baby Skull seeking bullets...WKUK anyone?

[DiamantesDystopia]

If Kanye Wears a Baby Skull, i have to have one!

[PanicSunday]

Heh, I just got my baby skull today.

I got to say, such a beautiful thing needs to be showcased and worn by people who bought them through hard-earned money.

What the hell is America thinking.

[sweetttina666]

Let me get this straight- drugs are illegal, but this isn't!? ?!?!?!?! Good lord.....

[uh0oo]

I ordered my baby skull last month, and I ended up getting a fucking dog skull. Im so sick of getting ripped off.

[ElizaKW]

@uh0oo You need to check for certification and make sure you're only buying from a reputable dealer. If you're trying to buy your baby skulls of Ebay, your just asking for trouble. Even if there's a picture, sometimes only a skilled baby skull appraiser can tell the difference between a baby chimp skull and the real thing. You've got to be careful.

[nofxmike06]

How do i get a replica of the one she's wearing?

[HplusG]

Every little girl grows up dreaming of a whole CHEST full of baby skulls... lmao!!!

[Reluctanttreehugger]

I know this is a satire. But this is desensitizing us to real horrific events and actions.

[chipmunx]

@Reluctanttreehugger More like satire is intended to get people to look at the satirized issue. People who see this and catch on to the fact that "baby skulls" are standing in for "diamonds" won't know why the Onion decided to call diamonds baby skulls - and maybe they'll go look into stuff behind the diamond trade to find out.

[siukong]

I'm sick and tired of all the massively overinflated prices. I don't want to have to get a second mortgage just to get some quality skulls. It's these damn companies stockpiling all their baby skulls in order to artificially drive up prices.

[AnnonamusKillah]

is dis serious?

[sebaslocoxx]

@Clawdragoons You killed me of laughter with that coment

[hippiesarealive]

baby skulls, diamonds, whats the differance

[TheFracturedMind]

baby skulls...

[ratje67]

I love Clifford baines! I'm using all his excuses too when I like to get high instead of going to work! LOL

[brondo1012]

I LOVE LAURA LEE!!

[rageatm4life]

the fat bitch ate the baby

[RedFoxxDown]

@thewikmann That is my favorite Misfit song! It put a smile on my face when I saw that.

[ajmj120]

I am a baby skull trader and harvester, and I am fankly quite disappointed by how easily these pundits accepted the so called "evidence" of irresponsible baby skull harvesting. In these times, harvesting skulls is a practice that is very safe and effecient due to new machete technology.

[PyroGhost27]

I love Lauralee Hickok! Every episode of she's in is hilarious! I love the Onion. And I love how there is always at least one fight in the comments on Onion vids on youtube

[snoball78]

Just fire Clifford Banes already!!

[Buzz0Killington]

This is America! I have a right to wear my baby skulls in public!!!!

[simpsonguy8]

just so people know, this is really about blood diamonds

[xShEepxSlaYerx]

@simpsonguy8 yeah no shit buddy

[jaidaphire]

Is it wrong to masturbate to this?

[stlkngyomom]

@jaidaphire Not if you are using a baby skull.

[wonderfulkitty]

Wow, this is some really dark-humored stuff.

[cometkite]

Diamonds.

[tarantulady]

@cometkite I was going to say same.

[10ms2]

"american babies on american soil"

[thewikmann]

I want your skulls i need your skulls demon i am and face i peel to see your skin turned inside out, 'cause gotta have you on my wall gotta have you on my wall, 'cause i want your skulls i need your skulls i want your skulls i need your skulls go collect the heads of little girls and put 'em on my wall hack the heads off little girls and put 'em on my wall oh

-The Misfits "Skulls"

[SailorBijou]

"If my husband hadn't given me a baby skull ring when he proposed to me, I woulda been like, 'Where's the skull??'"

Priceless.

[MrMCism]

Naomi should be informed about this too

[silverthornboy19]

hey yall im miley cyrus yall how yall doing yall check out my channel yall

[surfin4]

i only have responsibly harvested baby skulls

[linkevin1248]

I don't see why you guys don't believe this, I saw a bunch of Baby Skull Stores in every part of US. Onion news are real, I am telling you.

[wenaolong]

Great parody of "false alternative" argumentation and the overall stupidity of American political argument which has allowed NWO elites to completely turn our country into a communist cesspit.

[rockstar4pop]

i LOVE lauralee hickok! <3

[gelluper]

MY MOTHER GAVE IT TO ME!!!!!! lmao

[theabomation]

fact: Most baby skulls come for Texas reason why less Texans..

[ericfoot]

i love how this is a joke off of diamonds in Africa

[yasha46]

Question... Wtf are Baby Skulls?

[Alxmir23]

@yasha46 the skulls of babies

[LaQuishmia]

I woulda been like, where the skull?? D:

[YesIm10]

Every little girl grows up dreaming of a whole chest full of baby skulls!

[ChristianEvolution]

I am an avid, long time collector of baby skulls, I've travelled many countries collecting them for my own personal baby-skull gallery of over 250. It's a hobby I have that I will always enjoy. :)

lol.

[BeyondDGrave]

I love the ending,.. "what? oh, god damnit!"

[proiciu]

ask to see the spine if they have it ... omfg loool

[BadLactose]

I love the fact that one of the banner ads that appears with this video is for a Diamond company!

[dangonchi]

"american babies on our own soil"

God Bless America

[lul107]

k for fuck sake THE ONION NEWS IS NOT REAL!!! it is a very well done show though look at the other vids u can posiably think there real!!!!

[randomfatblob]

is this real??????????????WTF???!!?!?!­?!?!

[Brokevegetable]

@randomfatblob of course it is *sarcasm*

[randomfatblob]

@Brokevegetable so is it real or not?? i'm so confused!

[bubblebitch1234]

This show scares me but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM­MNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I love it. lls :)))

[otherjoe1234]

"This Christmas, SKULL her"

LOL

[Kakuzukun0047]

My boyfriend bought my a beautiful French baby skull for our anniversary. It was harvested and polished by a trusted family friend. I think he's the one~!

[teague67]

EU baby skulls are much more highly regulated. orphanages have to register to a special commission.

[DiGiCharat9990]

@teague67 Do you think youre going to get hired by The Onion by leaving "witty" comments on their videos?

[teague67]

@DiGiCharat9990 i hope so.. r u offering me a job?

[manuel1471]

@DiGiCharat9990 No, he is just having fun posting that comment, and rarely ever someone would get that idea from reading his comment. You, on the other hand, have considered it and now you are bitter because you couldnt come up with a "wittier" comment before.

[ArtemisKarenLynn]

A really nice hit on the African diamond trade...

[ibmxx]

Blood Diamond was an amazing movie.

[ohgidgetz]

"mah mother gave it to me!"

[Clawdragoons]

I know how Duncan must feel. The last three baby skulls I bought turned out to actually be an alligator skull, a mammoth skull, and a babies foot.

Why is it so hard to find good, high quality baby skulls?

[sempster32]

@Clawdragoons man i hate it when that happens

[Natedawg422]

@Clawdragoons AHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Big10]

"They had gotten in the way of their own machetes while harvesting these skulls...."

"I would've been like, 'Where's the skull?'"

"Ask to see the spine...."

LOL!!!

[theabomation]

I got European white baby skulls Bling Bling Bitch.. 

[nergaljr]

if i had a nickel for every time i was sold a faux baby skull....

[redeemer1kamili]

1:34 That belt actually looks good!

[tlast2O12dude]

hahahaha baby skulls haha

[SunsFanGuy]

Clifford Banes is one busy man.

[Khonsu1212]

conflict resources!!! like Coltan in your cell phones!

[TheScienceguy77]

Ugh I was eating when she said that was a cow skull. I am so disgusted,

[handymandan100]

"American babies on American Soil..." lolz

[Lex5thX]

Where's the skull???

[spinnersmetal]

Since when are baby skulls linked to violence...nonsense

[lovechild872]

@spinnersmetal if you had a brain you would figure out babies are purposely killed in impoverished villages just to rot the head and sell the skulls to stupid americans.

[spinnersmetal]

@lovechild872 If you had a brain you would realise I was being sarcastic obviously.

[asaratkhandr]

hahahah this one got me, i thought they meant those little skull prints on clothing. u got me again onion!

[thejobloshow]

SATIRE!

[jcincinnati]

Funny

[JayCKat]

baby skull == diamonds.

[cherboi101]

well i look forward to my first baby skull

[Jesus00000000000]

Yes, it may be parodical, but people should get the moral of the joke.

Is you don't have such a hype over baby skull because there would be pain and sickness behind it, why do so about diamonds?

[Lunto88]

i laughed my pants off^^ one if the best "in the know" episodes ever^^

[madammanga]

BABY SKULLS?! Who here in this UK room has a skull *no one puts up hands* OK. I had no idea this HAPPENED EVEN! *faints* Scary.

[JSLICDUBZ]

I get mad baby skull money!!

[enigma3200]

eww fat

[spaecialxara]

''i would be like , where is the skull''rofl!!

[IamMaximilianKohler]

lol.......................

[40ozAficionado]

Sorry, I appologize, it should be jalapeno, not jalepeno, spelling it incorrectly makes my comment look stupid and ignorant when I was trying to make a serious point.

[CTHxUHBG]

poor babys lmao

[40ozAficionado]

And this is exactly why I don't understand why people have abortions, or why it is even allowed. Instead of paying to abort the baby, or having tax dollars fund the abortion, in a few more months a perfect and beautiful baby skull could be harvested. A quality baby skull could pay an electric bill for an average house for over a year. The Australians have been following this policy for decades. Wake up America!

[40ozAficionado]

In case anyone doesn't know, this is actually portraying the tradgedies associated with the black market jalepeno trade. Few people consider the pain associated with the poor workers who smuggle the jalepenos out of the fields in their anus. Its worth thinking about the next time you eat a burrito.

[sweetsangs]

@JustThink00 This might reflect the illegal trade of ivory, deer skin, tiger skin etc and other items like handbags made of crocodile skin, tortoise shell and all the similar stuff.. they might be trying to say its not a surprise if one day baby skull jewelery is also revered like that!

[evillttlimp]

y'know,after that introduction, i suspsect that gregory dawson might've been involved in clifford banes's problems...

[region1111]

I love it, it's like watching a newscast from an alternate universe.

[JustThink00]

i've seen a lot of onion, and all i have to say to this one is WTF? this is just weird. Is there some point that i'm missing

[icemaieden]

@JustThink00 Diamond industry

[JustThink00]

@icemaieden I got that. still don't see the point. Is the diamond industry controversial for some reasons like this? and even if it is i don't see how the fuck this would make any relevant point about it.

[Sonofnull]

This Christmas, skull her.

[oddvidios]

lol its in the know with clifford banes but clifford baynes is never on lol

[Arthur5041975]

Laura Lee is awesome.

[m4c13k86]

@roboboxA where's the skull

[msocarras]

These actors are phenomenal.

[Jaye49]

they have a lot of problems they have dings and dents,.......I'm talking about high quality American made skulls

[copperandbrick]

I love Duncan's reaction when he finds he's been handling, eww, a COW skull.

[Cheespuffs45]

I would have been, like, "where's the baby skull"?

[fozzster22]

So terrible to hear these people talking about baby skulls in this way, those babies had to be killed to get them! the onion is so horrible and insensative

[abram730]

@fozzster22 Not all baby skulls are illegal harvested.

I bet you didn't consider famine!!!

The baby skull industry gives a silver lining to those families who's babies slowly starved to death... Where would those families be without the bag of rice they can now afford? They would be dead.

The Baby skull industry is about "saving life's".

[trust1952]

Celine Deon actually wrote a song for a Baby Skull jewelery company commercial.

[Roan1414]

Baby skulls is part of this Nations history!

[costanza187]

Little know fact - both the Misfits and Celine Dion got their start by writing promotional jingles for the baby skull jewelry market.

[Quizoid]

Sierra Leone

[MrsMeiwes]

Epic :)

*****

[Meurs1215]

Guys, remember the rule of thumb for buying an engagement skull is 2 months salary.