Best Man Speech

[GoldenGal42]

I like to think this is what really happened at Webb's wedding. :P

[j3tpil0t]

Just digging the biggest hole haha

[izthishuman]

this is actually all true though

[whade62000]

One of the great things about being a comedian is that you can sell your rants as comedy. You're being offensive and just a bit biased but since it is insightful and funny it is alright.

[Omegian14]

@inquiringalien I agree, I cannot abide by falseness and insist on realism in my life,

[DeadCamper]

@inquiringalien I feel exactly like that, but find it easier to just play along. I cannot change the minds of people and won't delude myself into thinking I can somehow educate them. Yes, in my mind I might be blowing my brains out, but at least the ordeal will be over faster.

[DeadCamper]

@inquiringalien Maybe you're just suffering from Asperger syndrome and can't fake politeness like the rest of us?

[Frazzles64]

Just sat it as it is David ;)

[kvn8907]

I think the same thing when my Dad calls one of our cats "the cutest kitty in the world". Sure, he's really cute, maybe even top-notch. But with billions of cats in the world, I'm positive there're some cats in the world that are cuter...and I'm just talking adult cats here. My cat is cute, but a kitten he is not! He's cute, but he's not Bast incarnate!

[SensibleSkepticism]

@MaxPlanck011 IT'S AVOCADO, YOU CUNT.

[Restayvien]

I'd like David Mitchell to give this rant at my future wedding.

[bestmanadvice]

lol

[maxaltenburg]

This shows the limits of honesty

[AntoniaNora]

"...but audrey hepburn she ain't!" brilliant! :-D

[ABCxJAMMIN]

I love how David writes these sketches to let off his little rants in a funny way, a great sketch with a very true, if crude, message. xD

[Arkitekt3813]

quite possibly my fav mitch/webb ever

[IntrapersonalKent]

These guys are sublime in their delivery and performance!

[zcottX]

I love this!! He has so much truth in what he says =)

[CntrBrdr]

really good, mate!

[blitzablitza]

I was gonna tell an anecdote, about when he had to run naked through

the lobby of a hotel But that might provoke suicide, from those of

you who are apparently under the impression that this was Olympus

itself, and we were witnessing the union of the Gods.

Yeah, alright, alright, have a nice evening.

Was I all right?

Really good, mate, really good.

[blitzablitza]

Oh my god.

I like Prosecco, Im not complaining. Look, why is it suddenly rude

for me to say that hes average looking, she scrubs up pretty well but

Audrey Hepburn she aint. And there have been weddings that have been

more expensive than this.

We all know these things. They shouldnt be a cause for despair.

[blitzablitza]

Deep down. Youre not mad.

You just fancy her more than she is objectively attractive, which is

good. Thats exactly who you should be getting married.

Two people who are a little bit deluded in each others favor. Thats

what love is, isnt?

Look, if the most beautiful woman in the world was getting married,

that would be big news.

The papers would be here.

There would have been champagne, not Prosecco.

[blitzablitza]

Look. Thats not rude. There is no one in this room who is anywhere near that attractive.

I mean, one of the brides maids is pretty tasty, but not, you know, world class.

You know youre not yourself.

I never said I was. He said that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

I just wouldnt want their life together to kick off with a lie.

To me, shes the most beautiful woman in the world, so just get on with it.

OK, to you, right. But you know shes not, really.

[blitzablitza]

What? Sorry, Jane.  Youve not been thinking youre the most beautiful woman in the world, have you? Why would you think that?

What? Have you all gone mad?

Shes not the most beautiful woman in the world.

Shes top half, probably, but thats largely because of her relative youth.

[blitzablitza]

With the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife.

And now, ladies and gentleman, please show your appreciation for the best man.

Um, the most beautiful woman in the world? I dont think so, mate.

I mean, honestly. Im not being nasty. Its not nasty to say someone isnt the most beautiful woman in the world, and she looks, you know, fine. Good, very presentable. Better than ever. Just not better than everyone.

[fpluskgrl1461]

This was tooo funny!

[Stygosi]

"She's not the most beautiful woman in the world! She's top half...probably? But that's largely because of her relative youth?" we've all been there, but could you have the (lack of) heart to say it?

[bestmanadvice]

yes unfortunately honesty is to be avoided during best man speeches. lol.

[MartinJWillett]

I find myself talking like that all the time - it's the truth, but nobody likes to be reminded of it.

And why does sex has to the best ever? Every time? After twenty one years I thought she'd be happy with "It wasn't the best, but if it never got any better than that I wouldn't stop doing it."

[XNo1XLuvzXMeX]

LOL I wouldn't say this but I'd definitely think it, David's a pure genius :D

[rah243]

'...that's who should be getting married: two people who are deluded in each other's favour! That's what love is, isn't it?' They are so witty. I love Mitchell and Webb

[kane148]

haha that reminded me of some awkward toasts that I've seen at weddings before, tho thankfully none were nearly that bad

[zcottX]

this is so funny

[moppiegoesperu]

I just love the bit of the rant where it goes: 'He is average looking; She scrubs up pretty well but Audrey H she ain't ......!'

[papertreegun]

Omg I nearly died with laughter watching this sketch. Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant!!!!!

[VeraFlow1]

I was just wondering does this skech have some truth to it 'cause apparently, David was Robert's bestman in his wedding in real life xD Would be quite funny...

[LAnonHubbard]

I love these guys. Especially David Mitchell. Some desperately needed sanity in a fu**ing crazy world of religion, cults, homeopathy, reality TV, etc.

[caelan96]

"...but that might provoke suicides for those who were under the delusion that this was Olympus it self and we were witnessing the union of the gods."

[daggy174]

Mitchell and Webb are the funniest guys in the world!

It's a shame that BBC America hasn't aired the latest season. Seems like they're all hung up on sci-fi dramas lately.

[TheLeardMan]

@daggy174 Yeah, I want Peep Show back.

[amarone1956]

@daggy174 And now they're showing bloody Star Trek.

[bestmanadvice]

lol!

[manicwebb]

Man, Mitchell does the best rants.

[zcottX]

@manicwebb Tooo true :)

[meaning1]

It's the affirmation at the end that makes it, lol.

"Was that OK?"

"Really good, mate!"

[fmscribs]

freaking funny

[troppbytrop]

this is super :)

i love this show

i loled my ass off :)

and its true realy

[mbucari1]

What show is this from?

[jasoneunson]

It's from 'That Mitchell And Webb Look', it aired on BBC2. The most recent series just ended but you can watch it all on BBC iplayer. This is from episode 3 I think.

[Keiichichanisback]

you can really tell mitchell wrote this bit

[Will403536]

LOL

[aledinsalisbury]

"Two people a little bit deluded in each other's favour... that's what love is, isn't it?" Such an amazing quote!