SOCCER IS A RELIGION, BOOTY POP and other absurdities

[soundslave]

Soccer > US football. Just like F1 > NASCAR.

[MrJacobchamp]

dude soccer is awesome 1 goal is better than 200 the reason for this is adrenaline and "hype" dont you think if people were scoring goals every 2 seconds it would suck dick and wouldnt even be exciting but when my a game score is 1-2 or 2-0 when a goal is scored it is an awesome feeling you obviously never watched an entire soccer game or left 2 minutes in because it felt boring to you soccer is awsome

[TibiaOTarena]

@NuMbEnCoRe1226 Thank you for sharing this.

[NuMbEnCoRe1226]

@TibiaOTarena i knew you couldn't live any longer without knowing that

[KaptainKuffs]

Futbal.

[brokenbones199]

Soccer is better played by yourself with friends over watching it on TV

Watching it is absolutely horrible

[Siipilintu]

Soccer is the best sport! :D

[CynicallyCorrect]

I'm too sexy for that shirt.

[fabaum22]

It very much is like a religion. I am Brazilian and I am fortunate enough to be intelligent, and as a result I don't believe in football. Got it? Huh, huh?

But no, really, believe me, that sport sucks. Specially when that's all your country cares about since Senna's death.

[tstruss912]

If you're gonna follow a pornstar then follow Ella Milano or something, not that other slut.

[givemearandomnamenow]

I wouldn't accuse you of being on coke, or especially meth, otherwise you'd be skinny.

[Rayers]

lol wow I didn't know that stuff about them wanting freebies from twitter. FUNNY! CAT BUTT CAT BUTT CAT BUTT lol

[MrTehproworld]

Damn this guy is so ignorant.

[ChiChoo29]

@MrTehproworld Wrong.

[miesrah12]

Obviously he has never used the Xceleorator braned air dryers or whatever its called. Either that or the Dyson hand dryer

yes it actually exist

[smashballbrawler]

That mansion analogy made me think: If a guy lies to a girl about being rich, then she sleeps with him, then finds out he isn't rich, she can sue him - and win! I've seen it happen. But if a girl wears this Booty Pop shit or a push-up bra or that ever-so-disgusting make-up shit that apparently every straight man on the planet besides me loves for some reason, there's not a chance in hell a man would sue over it.

[LanceMurtagh]

@smashballbrawler Incorrect. How can a woman sue a man who pretended to be rich, when he obviously has no money to give her? Oh, and the woman needs to have experienced some damage or loss to civilly sue.

[ResevoirGod]

IT'S FOOTBALL. NOT SOCCER.

[BeyondBirthdayL]

@ResevoirGod In America, it can be soccer.

[NocturnalNighthawk]

I agree man, in scotland there are two rival soccer teams by the names of Celtic and Rangers. People get beat up and killed by the other team simply becuase they support them. It's fucking ridiculous.

[ResevoirGod]

@NocturnalNighthawk That is very rare actually... well the killings anyway.

[joujou264]

Well, I don't like Soccer, aka Football (That's how any other English talking nation calls it), but Soccer has the same amount of fun as Baseball, or American Football, or any other team sport.

[Gurkan8994]

So TJ, if soccer sucks, then why do people who score a goal at the FIFA World Cup experience a high more euphoric than most orgasms.

[TehNerdGaming]

@Gurkan8994 because they are virgins

[Gurkan8994]

@TehNerdGaming Does Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham look like virgins to you?

[TehNerdGaming]

@Gurkan8994 does football look half as fun as decent sex?

[Gurkan8994]

@TehNerdGaming That depends...

[xXMoeRockXx]

its called goals not points .. i respect ur opinion .. but ur tottally wrong .. if u give it a chance, football is the best sport ever.

[Pickle900]

You couldn't be more right about public restroom toilet paper.

[pseudonymuser]

i had to take a break .. didnt get no air .. oh man your comments are great

[hajlender12]

I'm not born nore do I live in America and I don't give a shit about soccer!

[efcdk92]

Soccer riots don't even exist anymore, unless you live in turkey, etc can't even remember when the last significant one was. Americans use that 'soccer riots' arguement way to much but are too ignorant to realise that shit doesn't happen anymore, plus canadians and americans riot over hockey and other silly sports too so don't be a hypocrit.

[Schwazoom]

Would that make american football the American religion?

... Well, as the Young Turks said: The two holy things in the US, Jesus and Tim Tebow.

[fedoramonkey8]

fuck you tj, fuck you!! FOOTBALL IS SICK RUFC FOR LIFE.

[repoilify]

@fedoramonkey8 Its opinion calm down

[fedoramonkey8]

@repoilify COME ON YOU REDDSSSS

[hwg1993]

upper left hand side of his wall is epic. Hyrule crest. Marilyn Manson and Clint Eastwood

[Be4TinGyoU]

I used to love soccer but I only watch the world cup now, all other football is just boring!

[HelloooooooooNurse]

Hey TJ. Next time you are stuck using a air dryer, rub your hands like a manical bastard while they are under there, they driy faster. It fucking works!

[Gate21IsClosed]

To be fair, american football is fucking boring too.

4 seconds of extremely violent action - then a minute of beer advertisements.

[luciferroxxx]

Soccer is badass

[pizzalover818]

soccer or as i like to call it,football is awesome

[Spartan01112]

soccar fucking sucks ball!!

[Tanvir6079]

SOCCER IS INTERESTING!!!

[dorianleakey]

@Tanvir6079 

[dorianleakey]

@Tanvir6079 SOCCER IS FOOTBALL

[Tanvir6079]

@dorianleakey yeah i know!! i am from England. we call it football!! any its interesting

[StubblyVlog]

And also, to TJ, the whole appeal of football or "soccer" is the amount of "almosts" and the tense moments where the striker shoots the ball at the goal and the goalkeeper has to dive in a split decision to catch a ball traveling anywhere from 60mph to 100mph.

American football is all about the cheap thrill of the "score" or "touchdown". The large amount of goals in american football cheapens it. Whenever a goal is scored in soccer the entire crowd fucking loses it. I don't even like soccer XD

[berniebay]

You can use all of your body parts in soccer except for your hands. So, shouldn't it be called no-handsball?

[StubblyVlog]

@berniebay actually in old english slang to "sock" something is to kick it. Therefore soccer would be a rough translation to "kickball" or ... "football", fancy that.

And in soccer the goalkeeper uses his hands, so does anyone "throwing in".

[berniebay]

@StubblyVlog

But, a majority of the players don't use their hands for a majority of the game.

[berniebay]

@StubblyVlog

And I'm just screwing around anyway. It's a boring sport no matter what you call it. That goes for American football, too.

[anonypirate]

Football is awesome and i dont mean that american sport with 200 breaks per game !

[CroGamer002]

Football rules.

And no, I'm not talking about that American Egghand/Handegg. That one I don't give a damn. You love it? Good for you, I don't care.

[EdyMar77]

I disagree , Its not soccer , Its FOOTBALL !!!!

And is the best sport ever. PERIOD !!!

[I5CharactersMax]

Typical yank.

[Tmanstext]

@I5CharactersMax Says a soccer fan, I'm sure...

[I5CharactersMax]

@Tmanstext How can i not be? biggest sport worldwide. I'd rather watch that than say, 12 fat men in helmets fall over every 20 seconds.

[SnipersNation]

I am british and i hate soccer. Basketball FTW.

[motombocolombo]

the end reminded me somehow of jack black.

[fuhkuhp]

400 pds and never gotten laid ....lamo I think this gentleman has some issues with getting laid .... pathetic

[surfinbird53]

The entertaining parts of soccer aren't the goals.

[SpitViciouz]

@surfinbird53 The entertaining part of soccer is getting drunk and eating hotdogs.

[eggiex1]

You would think someone who ranted on and on about public restrooms would stop using them to take a shit in the first place. You're basically bitching about the quality of something you're getting for free. Use your own private toilet, private toilet paper, and private soap if you have a problem. You sound like that fat-ass geek from the Simpsons who was bitching about the free content from network television in that one episode, because it wasn't quite to his standards. Oh wait...

[StevieTVee92]

@eggiex1 So basically fuck customer service.

[eggiex1]

Either that, or quit bitching over free service.

[MrJapaba]

Hey! Crocodile c**t smells, and tastes, great i'll have you know.

[HayesLauran]

god i Love his videos:)

[JayZar12]

1. Name is awesome.

2. Not afraid to express your opinions about religion and stupid sports.

3. You have a beard, like Kevin Smith, (No relation)

4. There is no four.

5. Your video actually had Booty Pop in it.

6. Cheesy jokes, obviously stated.

7. More people like this guy and YouTube wont be filled with Tards.

[MrRowan13]

lol

Idiot.

That happens with every major sport.

[ManDudeYeah]

I wanna fuck that shirt.

[SchaltetDenSchmerzAb]

You have to rub your hands together under the heated air.

[grahamlive]

Graffiti in UK toilets is always gay gays advertising for a blow job!!!! :)

[MegaJaycop]

@grahamlive was there any need to say 'gay gay's'?

[grahamlive]

@MegaJaycop Nope. Don't know what happened there. My mistake. Silly me.. :-)

[MegaJaycop]

@grahamlive haha no worries, i also live in UK and notice alot of gay grafitti

[gerd8230]

@grahamlive and in germany its left-wing propaganda

[tubester4567]

Women wear fake eyelashes, makeup, colour their hair, wear bras that enhance their shape etc so I dont know if wearing a booty pops will make much difference.

[CrucifiedForNoSIn]

why da poo poo be on da wall

[tbdmz]

I cant sleep so I decided to watch some of your videos (not that they put me to sleep) but my reaction didn't change until the story at 11:54 that was hilarious!

[sonykroket]

oscardoodles=chickenshit weasel closing off his own profile but follows people around on videos they comment on by looking at their(uncensored) profiles

Fuckin cuntbag, you should be shot for hypocrisy

[12Zenman]

Mind blowing for fatass who can't run for shit :)

[Darkwhite101]

I think we've found a better replacement for whoever is replacing heath Ledger as the Joker

[TheKnoxvicious]

TJ.....do you make pizzas? ;)

[TheDislikableDude]

wow. once again you said it all - those little things that piss all of us the fuck off.

so i spent 7 1/2 years "enslaved" at a pizzeria and i'm pretty motherfuckin' proud of it. i'm waaaayy prouder, though, to be retired at 33!

[sonykroket]

I dont give a fuck about any sports, how bout that one. Fuckin hysterical clowns going crazy over a silly game and crying when "their team" has lost, get real you morons.

Sometimes i think this whole nonsense is being fueled by corporations and governments to keep the masses busy with unimportant shit

Silly muppets

[LegendBaal]

@sonykroket LOL

[sonykroket]

@oscardoodles

You would rather post nonsense and look like a total moron than know when to put a sock in it, dont you?

So again, why are you a dumbass and how does it feel to be one?

[sonykroket]

@oscardoodles

So why are you a chickenshit that censors his profile while spamming others?

Answer the fuckin question, dumbass

[ANBUspecialBlackops]

i love soccer <3

[StayGoldDallybear]

i had my hands in my pants, and then I saw the actions you were making with the shirt, and then i got a boner.

why

[Lexmotionless1]

DAT ASS



[Honorfull]

As Arheism is a beleive in ''Nothing'' it is in theory Religion

[miggyback]

@Honorfull "Artheism" is the lack of belief in a god or gods. Atheism is as much a religion as not painting is a hobby.

[Honorfull]

@miggyback Clever. I guess I can’t blame you for denying it, but denying something doesn’t prove it is not there

To help you with this, here's my ''evidence'' of sort, that proves Atheism is a religion:

1.A religion doesn’t have to posit a god who must be identified or worshiped

2.They have their own worldview.

3.They have their own orthodoxy

4.They have their own brand of apostasy

5.They have their own preachers and evangelists

6.They have faith

7.They have their own messiah: Charles Darwin.

[miggyback]

@Honorfull

Non stamp collectors are hobbyists too. Here's my evidence.

1. Hobbies don't have to involve doing anything.

2. They have their own worldview

3.They have their own orthodoxy

4.They have their own brand of apostasy

5.They have their own preachers who convince people not to collect stamps

6.They have faith that not collecting stamps is good

7. They have their own messiahs, not sure who.

But seriously, not believing in something is not a faith.

[Honorfull]

@miggyback The Void (nothingness) is also something, if it shaped the universe with the big bang the ''Nothingness'' wassomething. You cannot have MASSIVE blast in the middle of Nothingness, there is no middle-- or beginning or End. Nothing can happen in the Nothingness. Are you also aware that Incas, aztecs, sumarians all those Civelizations had more than one God, sure thay have a MAIN god (like Zeus, Horus, ect.) but thay also had the god of Sun, Moon, Death and Nothingness.

[miggyback]

@Honorfull Atheism is not the active belief in nothingness. It is a position where you don't have a belief in a particular God.

That is not a difficult concept to grasp. I cannot put it in a simpler way.

Btw, "nothing" is in fact the opposite of "something".

[skiingbeerpig]

this guy should have a talk show.

[CmdrTobs]

hahaha

[TheDrewpdog]

haha fuck you TJ

[kyleadelaide]

@TheDrewpdog lol, yeah

[NUTCASE71733]

Mario Strikers however makes soccer hilarious and hazardous.

[FACTAWAVES]

......the banana dribbles the micropenis, crosses the fat ass, and it approaches to the anus, and, YES, IT'S INSIDE.........goaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaal



[jadaya1234]

errhem... I have to disagree with you here TJ. The excitement of "Soccer" as you yanks call it comes from the overcoming the tremendous odds stacked against you and prevent you from scoring a point - it is such a marvelous and rare event to score in a "soccer" game that when it happens, it feels almost as good as scoring in real life. Try watching a ManU. or Celtic game sometime.

[klm4298]

@jadaya1234 Football is not fucking entertaining.

[Abbadon380]

lets drink a pint everytime he says FUCK

[Abbadon380]

AND WHY DO AMERICANS CALL RUGBY FOOTBALL.

[Abbadon380]

BAH WHY DO U AMERICANS CALL FOOTBALL SOCCER.

[araspaulius]

basketball,soccer,american football, hockey all bullshit bunch of retards running from one side of the field to another shit is boring as hell, sex should be a sport

[jweber000]

you inspire violence, like how I want to swipe the twinkie out of your hand and punch you in the fucking head

[schrankhorst]

"If you're wiping your ass hard enough to get shit on the ceiling, then there's something wrong with you" rofl :D

[EliroX904]

WHAT A BITCH!!! (Not you TAA, dat porn star)

[FACTAWAVES]

the real question here is......

can you shove a soccer ball up your ass????

LAWL

[Instinctinside]

@FACTAWAVES Whahahaha you troll!!

[TheMauso88]

Man u lost 6-1 the other week, positively ecstatic.

[nathfrancis01]

 "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that." - Bill Shankly.

[bonesawII]

If u live in usa u made up ur own sports and get good at thosexD

[MrSwedishJesterhead]

Two word: Vancouver riot.

[mrkanepker]

you want a cataclysm, play WoW lol

[MrCherubhair1]

A lot of football (Or soccer as you call it) fans only want a riot, there's hundreds of hooligan firms in england and they go to every match trying to start a fight.

[FollowerInZeus]

Gotta love all the footballfags in here who get all defensive when somebody talks about their dislike of it. Only proving his point further.

[illusionoftime22]

@FollowerInZeus pretty sure thatd apply to fans of any sport being knocked. Not that I personally care at all, but theres aways guna be some defenders

[MrTheshortbusallstar]

"How do you get shit from your ass onto the wall?!?!?!"

[Elementer117]

"Have you ever wiped your ass with yogurt?"

Best part of the video.

[thedarkmodem]

Fuck the fucking soccer!!

[illusionoftime22]

lol soccer is awesome, i still love you tho ^^

[clutchmc22]

Lol Dana Dearmond is a bondage whore and it's funny u mentioned her cause she is one of my favorites to watch, but yes everything u said about her is true

[dannytruscott]

Football is actually exciting unlike any American sports.

[ZoMbIEx23x]

@dannytruscott I've watched football before. The level of excitement does not exceed any other known sport that I have ever watched or ever will watch. Sports are not fun to watch, most have the same goals in mind which is to get the ball some where the other team doesn't want it. I'll keep passing on watching sports.

[wqsr4o]

You're probably the funniest man on Youtube... I just have 1 complaint. If you're going to censor the word "nigger" please also censor "faggot".

[TheGeneralPwnage]

@wqsr4o yeah really

[Maper555]

@wqsr4o go be queer elsewhere fagboy

[wqsr4o]

@Maper555 time and place bitch, time and place :3

[DCbound138]

"The soap might smell like Crocodile Cunt..."

[SomeHowSomeOne]

I don't live in America, I live in Iceland and football isn't a religion here.. I think it's mostly Britain....

[ReaperCheGuevara]

@berserkergreenland yea I do do but im not spending 5 years in prison lol

[EDDlEMEDUZA]

They get thos toilet things fro specialized companies.

It's true!

[HRRyan2]

TJ, you said in your "Cop Stories" video that you didn't like to use the bathrooms at school

[Mdeil20]

i clicked on this cause of the ass

[JoshMufc101]

TJ is american football also a religion because if your born in America you'll most likely like it and the rest of the world don't give a fuck about it?

[shtiken]

@JoshMufc101 I know, he's an idiot. I can't believe he didn't discover the flaw in his logic.

[gravitywheel]

2-2? What? Everyone knows the really hardcore soccer games are 0-0.

[arbouz]

God loves you and he wants you to be one of his children. i hope your make that decision :)

[ManDudeYeah]

@arbouz Hahaha, yeah...

[HunterTom3006]

FAT and waste of time!!!

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

Not ALL pornstars are morons, just most. I have great respect for ones such as Sasha Grey, Tori Black, Crystal Klein, Kayden Kross and Stoya, because they are actually really well spoken and intelligent. They're not in the business because it's the only way they can make money, they're in the business because they actually really enjoy what they do, which is rare in and of itself.

[romperstompist]

@muzzyscum No shit soccer is called football everywhere else. Do you want me to call American football by some other name? Why would you think I dont know what international means? Damn man settle down.

[Lortagreb]

@romperstompist Not really, in Eastern Asia its called soccer too.

[shtiken]

@Lortagreb Most people don't know the origin of the word Soccer. The official name of the sport is "association football". the association part was added to distinguish it from other "footballs" like say Rugby football. back then (1860s or so), they used to call Rugby football "Rugger", as a nick name. the same thing was used with Association football, where it was called Assocer, which then simply became soccer. the term Soccer originated in Britain, and was one of the first names of the sport.

[Lortagreb]

@shtiken So what? I knew that already, what the fuck do you want? All I said was that they call it "soccer" in eastern Asia, current time, not "football".

[shtiken]

@Lortagreb Even though you're an asshole. What I meant was that Soccer is one of the original names of the game, so they (the Soccer lovin people) shouldn't bitch and moan when it's called Soccer in some parts of the world.

And no, you did not know that already.

[Lortagreb]

@shtiken Ofc I knew that, I know everything. Unless you can disprove it its true...! wait...

[KORTOKtheSTRONG]

3:04 died laughing

[romperstompist]

@muzzyscum We American men have football which is a hell of a lot better than soccer.

[RedSquadala5Renewed]

well duh, Tj. ALL sports are boring to watch

[KentuckySurvivor]

Where the hell is the top rated comment telling me where to go to see the girls pic. :-(

[Auurelius]

Wiping my ass with yogurt... Must try,

[TheCrazedGuitarist]

Press 7 for the best advice ever

[TheCrazedGuitarist]

Have you ever wiped your ass with yogurt? HAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

[CombatZombieman]

dana dearmond is all that great

[TBlenx1995]

Everyone I know, fucking loves Football (As we call it here in England) too much. They buy all of the football video games, Why? I have no fucking idea because they are boring as shit. My friends go to every match and waste like £200 a year or something. Also, it is the most corrupt corporation here. Footballers get hundreds of thousands of pounds every week for kicking a fucking ball around for an hour and a half. It's Fucking Retarded!

[Kloborgg]

@TBlenx1995

As opposed to any other professional sports league?

[TBlenx1995]

@Kloborgg idk, most sports are fucked up.